Bullfighter (2000) - full transcript
Jack is a wanderer whose aimless roaming leads him to a number of interesting locations and into the company of many interesting people, and despite his fascination with bullfighting he leads a largely peaceful existence. When a crime boss' daughter is accidentally gored to death, Jack is implicated in the unfortunate event and singled out for termination by a seemingly unending army of lethal hitmen. As Jack wages an uphill battle for survival against the harsh desert terrain and a hail of gun smoke and lead, his will to live depends on his ability to exercise his demons and come to terms with the fact that he may not live to see another sunrise.
(woman)
Once upon Christmas
in the 21st century--
(man)
No, no, no.
Once there was
this French guy--me--
here in Mexico,
and he wanted to be
a bullfighter.
(woman)
Uh, well, let's--okay.
This French bullfighter
didn't know much
about Christmas.
(man)
It's not a Christmas story.
That's a very important part.
It's much,
much more complicated.
It's about a man--
French guy--me--
(woman)
Okay, well, obviously,
you know the story.
You tell the story.
(man)
No, no, do it,
but I think
we are totally agree.
(woman)
Okay, the story
revolves around you,
so sure.
[woman clears throat]
Once there was a battle
between good and evil.
(man)
Yes, that's right.
It was terrible,
and this French guy--
oh, yeah, it's more about--
(woman)
Oh, okay, we're not gonna--
tell the story.
(man)
No, no, I think it's not--
(woman)
Yes.
(man)
Yes, yes, but, no,
it's much more complicated
than that.
(woman)
Okay, okay,
just watch this.
(man)
Okay, watch this.
[electronic whirring sounds]
(woman #2)
♪ Are you going
♪ to Scarborough Faire?
♪ Parsley, sage,
♪ rosemary, and thyme.
♪ Remember me
♪ to one who lives there.
♪ Once he was
♪ a true love of mine. ♪
Hey!
[lights thunking]
Ah.
(girl)
Big French Jacques.
I just wanna see how big.
[screeching noises]
You want a real bull?
[snorting]
[giggles]
Like you always say,
if you love me,
show me.
[rock music]
(man)
♪ I feel you.
♪ Your sun, it shines.
♪
♪ I feel you
♪ within my mind.
♪ You take me there.
I'm not dead yet,
pretty bull.
(man)
♪ The kingdom comes.
♪ You take me to Babylon.
Diablo!
(man)
♪ This is the morning
of our love. ♪
No!
[girl grunts]
(man)
♪ This is the morning
of our-- ♪
What happened?
(man)
It's okay.
It's okay.
[bull grunting]
I'll get help.
Daddy won't understand.
Go now.
(man)
Hey, who turned on
the goddamn lights?
I'll tell what happened.
Yeah, go now.
[metal clanking]
(man)
Who let the damn bull out?
[indistinct voices]
(man)
Oh, God damn it!
Mr. Cordobes!
Mr. Cordobes!
Mr. Cordobes!
Good boy.
Mr. Cordobes!
Your daughter!
[breathing heavily]
It's Laila.
(Cordobes)
How'd this happen?
Jacques.
Get the boys,
and find him.
All right.
(Cordobes)
Call a doctor.
[door creaking]
[gun cocks]
[gunshots]
[distant gunshot]
Jones.
Yeah.
Long time.
Need to see ya.
Yeah.
[light polka music]
[Rudolph, the Red-Nosed
Reindeer
playing]
♪
(woman)
All right, everybody,
and here we go.
Mary the Blaster is back.
[scattered applause]
All right.
Blast is the name,
and Blast is the game.
Four days to Christmas,
everyone.
Unbelievable.
And I have
one of my favorites here:
Tony and the Desert Kings
honkin' your way.
[scattered applause]
[O Come, All Ye Faithful intro]
[music warbles]
Okay, don't stop dancing!
[people murmuring]
[cheers and applause]
[music resumes]
[record scratches]
All right, Christmas 2000,
everybody sing with me.
(all)
♪ O come, all ye faithful,
♪ joyful and triumphant.
♪ O come, ye,
O come, ye, to Bethlehem. ♪
[Mary's voice]
Hail Mary, full of grace.
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
and blessed is--
♪ Come and behold Him,
♪ born the king of angels.
(Mary)
Joy to the world.
(all)
♪ O come, let us adore Him.
♪ O come, let us adore Him.
♪ O come, let us adore Him,
♪ Christ, the Lord. ♪
[fireworks crackling]
[cheers and whistles]
[fireworks whooshing]
[panting and coughing]
Which way?
Which way? Which way?
[fireworks exploding]
Yeah.
Mary the Blast.
[whispering]
You meant
the world to me, Daddy.
What's that, baby?
You meant the world
to me, Daddy.
(man)
She's gone, sir.
Please.
[Mary humming]
Mary.
[humming stops]
Go to hell, Jacques.
I need your help,
for real.
You--you got to take me
to the American border
very quickly, please.
[engine revving]
Man, trouble still follows you
like a horny dog, doesn't it?
(Jacques)
Oh, shit.
[Mary humming]
[men humming]
[chimes tinkling]
Hello?
Blaster.
Whew.
I know you.
You were up at Cordobes'
last Easter.
You're Chollo,
right?
Mm-hmm,
that's right.
Well, Blaster, we're out here
lookin' for a goddamn fool.
You, uh, seen any?
[chuckles]
Come on, now.
I hate fools.
Yeah, well,
this ain't any old fool.
This here's that flimsy
little French fool, Jacques.
We heard he was headed
this way.
(Mary)
Yeah?
What you want with him?
Oh, Mr. Cordobes would like
to talk to him is all.
Mr. Cordobes?
You tell Mr. Cordobes
that if I bump
into any fools,
especially French ones,
I'll give him a call.
While you're at it, uh,
why don't you give me
a call too?
A little bit later.
I'd like to show you
what a man like me can do
to a, uh, girl like you.
Phone sex with a chainsaw
doesn't turn me on, Chollo.
Yeah, well,
I never quite knew
what the boss saw good
in you anyhow, Blaster.
[kissing noises]
Come on.
[humming]
[whistling]
[engine revs]
Cordobes?
What are you, crazy?
That old skull,
he's disgusting.
He scared me last Easter
just looking at him.
Boy, did you ever mess with
the wrong joker.
I don't understand
what's happened.
I was just playing at
bullfighting at Cordobes' place,
and next, I don't know.
Laila let Diablo out.
That kid, Laila?
She turned that killer on you?
She said,
"Like you always say,
if you love me, show me."
W-w-w-wait a second.
You were courting
Cordobes' kid?
And you used
that dumb phony line on her?
Mary, it was a real bull,
understand?
And the bull turned
and gored her.
Would I make that up?
I don't think she
was hurt too bad.
No.
And she told me to run.
It was not my idea.
She told me!
[chuckles]
Amazing.
[sighs]
You're always
the victim.
(man)
From the book of Wisdom,
chapter 3, verses 1 through 9.
"The souls of the just
are in the hand of God,
"and no torment
shall touch them.
[car engine revs]
"They seemed, in the view
of the foolish, to be dead,
but they are in peace."
St. Paul's first letter
to Corinthians,
chapter 15,
verses 51 through 57.
"Behold,
"I tell you a mystery.
"We shall not all
fall asleep,
"but we shall be changed
in an instant,
"in the blink of an eye,
"at the last trumpet,
"for this
which is corruptible
"must clothe itself
with incorruptibility,
"and that which is mortal
"must clothe itself
with immortability.
"Then it shall be
brought to pass
the saying
that is written"--
[door creaking]
♪ I said-a, "Hey, ho,
and that-- ♪
(man)
"And where,
O death"--
Thank you, Padre.
Amen.
I ain't seen my old partner
in 15 years.
Ring, ring,
he calls me,
only to invite me
to a funeral.
That's my daughter, Jones.
[sighs]
Sorry, I, uh--
I mean, uh,
what happened?
Last night,
gored by the bull.
Doesn't make any sense.
Scared to death
of that bull.
I believe she was pushed
or baited.
She is--she was--
she is beautiful.
So was her mama.
We lost her
a long time ago.
When Allison died,
I said I'd spoil her.
I probably did
a little bit.
But she had the devil in her.
She was doing things
behind my back.
I'm so goddamn tired.
I'm sorry
that it got this bad.
Anything you need...
I need your talent.
I fill you in
on that son of a bitch.
You just track him
and bring him back to me.
You got it.
[Cordobes muttering]
Look out.
[coyote howling]
[static hissing]
[Mary yawning]
Yeah, the radio
doesn't work all the time.
Aw.
(woman)
♪ And an angel's kiss--
Ah,Summer Wine.
This song is a poem.
[laughing]
[singing along]
♪ Summer wine is really made
for all these things. ♪
[clapping rhythmically]
♪
[singing along]
♪ I walked in town
♪ on silver spurs
that jingled to-- ♪
[both chuckling]
Come on, sing.
I don't know
the line after.
[laughing]
[humming]
(man)
♪ She saw my silver spurs--
(Mary)
♪
And helped me pass
the time--
♪
Da-da-da-da-da-da.
♪ And I will give
to you-- ♪
(both)
♪ Summer wine.
♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh,
summer wine. ♪
(Mary)
But I'm dropping you in El Paso.
I'm gonna have to make a stop.
I got a gig up in San Miguel
tomorrow night,
and I am not missing it.
[van creaking]
[groans]
(woman)
♪ My summer wine is...
Would you let me see
your arm?
(woman)
♪ ...made from
all these things. ♪
Ay!
[groans]
Oh, that's infected.
Okay,
you need stitches.
You're nothing
but trouble.
Uh, there's a doctor
up in San Miguel, I think.
[phone beeping]
If this thing
doesn't keep cutting off.
(woman)
♪ Summer wine. ♪
[explosion rumbling]
What was that?
[booming and whooshing sounds]
(woman)
Jacques?
Your planet, Earth.
The universal evil
is encircling pure good.
You must wake up!
That's why the Messiah
comes now--comes now.
The Messiah will arrive
in precisely 72 hours.
An extinctor comes to hunt down
and kill the Messiah!
You, Jacques,
must prevent this.
I'm always
helping you.
This is
your last chance.
[sizzling sound]
You'll meet a soldier
who waits to give you a book.
Check your wound next time.
You'll see what is real.
[horn blaring]
(Mary)
Jacques!
Jacques!
Jacques!
Jacques!
Jacques!
Jacques, wake up!
Wake up!
Jacques!
[tires squealing]
[metal clanking]
Did you hear that?
Hear what?
The bell.
How the hell?
How the---
Gomez?
How the hell
did we get here?
Where--what,
did I sleep all night?
[breathing heavily]
We're 300 miles
from where we started.
Come on, guy,
this is Christmastimes.
I want to see
Santa Claus is Coming to Town.
[water dripping]
Check your wound next time.
Mary, maybe the most--
Maybe I am taking
a shower...alone.
Out!
Jacques.
[sighs]
Just go to sleep.
You have to rest
until we get your arm fixed.
No, my arm,
it's different now.
Did you get
the big picture here?
I shower,
and you sleep.
Then we go find
a doctor.
All right?
Now, get out.
Touch.
What's wrong
with this?
Nothing.
Nothing.
What I thought.
Just checking.
When you finish
your shower,
no doctor needed.
Got to keep going through
to San Miguel.
[mellow reggae music]
♪
You okay?
Can I see your arm again?
You want to talk
about your arm?
Well, what's up with that?
What, is it the shower?
Did I piss you off?
No, no, you're helping me.
Thanks.
You know, we're gonna be
locked up in this tin can
for the next couple of days.
You might as well spit it out.
[man singing in Spanish]
♪
I had a vision.
An angel lady spoke to me
about protecting
the future world.
Shit!
[tires squealing]
Would somebody like to tell me
why I'm saving his crazy ass?
Hey, remember that big light?
Hitting us off the road?
I remember you driving straight
into that 18-wheel truck.
No, no, before that,
when we were singing.
Singin'?
Yeah.
Then bam!
There she was.
Angel lady.
She said
I'm on a mission.
Mm-hmm.
Protecting some Messiah guy
from the underworld.
But she'll be helping me.
Okay, Jacques--
No, no,
let me finish.
Anyway, I don't think
I start this mission
till tomorrow night
because that's when
the Messiah comes.
Hmm.
You doin' a lot
of drugs, Jacques?
Talking to her was as real
as talking to you now.
Really?
Actually,
more real.
What?
You're--you're fighting me
about this?
You?
But you believe
in all these things.
You know, um,
how do you say that in English?
Religion stuff.
Religion stuff?
Right.
Okay, there's one thing
I don't get, Jacques.
You don't believe
in God, right?
You have never set foot
in a church.
Right?
And...
you're a pagan loser.
So this mission...
why you, Jacques, huh?
Why you?
Maybe I need
this shot.
She said this is
my last chance.
For redemption, I guess.
Jacques, you got
no chance.
And no angels
talk to jerks.
Angels don't like jerks.
So who fixed my arm?
Maybe it wasn't as bad
as it seemed.
♪
[tires squeal]
♪
[sirens wailing]
Jones, get your fuckin' ass
in gear!
We're running behind!
[eerie music]
Daddy?
[tires squealing]
[sirens wailing]
They're gone for now.
(Cordobes)
Laila.
I miss you,
Daddy.
Will you do your little girl
a favor?
Come with me.
[giggling]
[man grunting]
[gasping]
(man)
This can't be real.
No?
Did you think maybe
it's the movie?
Know what I say?
I say, if the movie
don't have Elvis in it,
it ain't worth a damn.
(Laila)
They can't see
or hear you, Daddy.
[piano keys play discordantly]
A little, uh,
thinkin' music for ya.
[snaps fingers]
[plays discordant glissando]
[playing
Chopsticks]
Jones, you lying
son of a bitch.
He got caught
in the vault.
He jumped
into the vault.
He shoot
to protect himself.
Couldn't get the money.
Had to run out.
[shouting]
Lying son of a bitch!
I had to show you, Daddy.
Give him some air.
Now, you know, it only takes
telling me eight little numbers,
and he'll breathe.
Elvis, huh?
I'm beggin' you.
(Jones)
You're what?
Tell me numbers.
[cackling]
You laughin'?
Laughin' at my Elvis
piano playin'?
[shouts]
No! No!
[keys banging]
[sighs]
[Chopsticks
continues]
I'll, uh, give him some air.
[gunshot]
[whimpering]
Sweet air.
No.
Goddamn you!
[grunting]
[groaning]
[plastic whooshing]
No.
8-6-7...
Come on.
Give me the rest of it.
Unh!
Come on.
Uh--
[sighs]
8-6-7-5-3-0-9-1.
Gee, thank you, Colonel.
Ah!
No!
[grunts]
[humming]
8-6-7--
ah, God damn it.
8-6-7-5-what?
(man)
3-0-9-1.
Appreciate that.
Look at that sneaky little
son of a bitch.
Money in the safe
belonged to Ronnie the Dog.
The cops
were supposed to get it,
get a kickback.
You rotten, dirty, little wormy
son of a bitch.
If I'd have known
at the time,
I'd have blown a goddamn hole
in his ass a mile wide,
given the money back
to Ronnie the Dog,
and never have to go
to Mexico.
You've been running
17 years,
my whole life.
Ah, baby.
Obliged to you all.
Thank you
for a fine performance.
No.
And now
the fat lady sings.
[man screams]
No!
[gunshots]
[wheezing]
[gunshots]
[gurgling]
(Laila)
Jones wasn't true to you then.
He's not true to you now.
[cell phone ringing]
Yeah, Jones.
Hey, you know this girl
they nicknamed Mary the Blast?
Some kind of road-running DJ?
Yeah, yeah, I know her.
Met her last Easter
at bull testing. Why?
Well, the target's with her
on the road to San Miguel.
Oh, really?
(Jones)
Uh-huh.
Do nothing till I get there.
(Jones)
Hummah-hummah.
Love it when you
try to control Elvis.
I've played this searching game.
And you know I run
the fucking game.
I won't lose the beat.
Off to San Miguel.
Right, meet you in San Miguel,
High Noon Cantina,
today at sunset, E.
[kisses]
[engine revs]
[sentimental accordion music]
♪
[whistling]
[horn honks]
[chuckles]
Maria.
Blaster, my heart.
[chuckling]
It's been too long.
But you're
right on time.
[whooshing sound]
♪
Who's he?
He's just a hitch
I picked up.
♪
So I'm settin' up?
The usual spot.
Near the church
of St. Michael.
Anything you need,
come get from my store.
Okay.
Send your...
hitch friend.
Got a thing going
with the blind man, huh?
[chuckles]
He's only half blind.
You jealous, Jacques?
Outta my way.
You know, Father Ramirez,
he started these small-town
Christmas linkups
back in the '60s
with my uncle.
Here?
Better make it fast.
We got to be set up
by sunset.
There's laws against
this slavery shit, woman, okay?
Oh, that's right.
You're my little
Frenchy slave boy
till we get
to El Paso.
[scoffs]
[menacing music]
♪
Viva...Las Vegas.
I used to help him out
on my school breaks,
and then I took over
when he died.
I said viva...
[breathes deeply]
Las Vegas.
♪
♪ The target's now--
[humming]
♪ down by the church-ahhh.
♪
(Cordobes)
I used to wish
I could sing.
Now I wish
you could.
Ain't you proud?
I sing better
than you, daddio.
How are the boys?
I got 'em all
gunned up, ready...
outside.
None for me.
Huh?
Bad innards.
[sighs]
[sniffs]
To revenge.
[slurping]
[sighs]
Come on.
Get into it.
I never thought
I'd see the, uh--
the old maestro
upset over an old rumble.
Like the million other
crazy shit times
we hit for Ronnie the Dog.
Ronnie the Dog.
Different time.
I was a different cat.
Different cat?
Nobody changes that much.
Her name was Allison.
[sighs]
You made me what I am.
I'm grateful.
I never asked you
to kill anybody ever.
Remember?
Oh, I don't forget.
I listen.
You call the tunes.
Me, I--
I just jump when you whistle.
I never asked you
to kill anybody, all right?
[snickers]
Now, tell me
how you feel about that.
How I feel?
How I feel.
Ahhh.
That's how the fuck I feel.
I don't.
You taught me.
Remember?
Aha!
Oh, beautiful.
Ha-ha,
Blast time.
I think we broke
a setup record today.
You wanna be
my roadie?
(child)
Wait for me!
I don't understand why you
break your back here in nowhere,
when you're making good money
in Texas as a teacher.
(Mary)
It's for them,
the music and fun,
light up the God path
to Christmas.
And maybe it's for me too,
my own secret life.
[cat yowling]
What the hell?
(Jacques)
Easy, I know these guys.
Just jerk-offs,
wannabes.
Jacques, those aren't
wannabe guns.
[rock guitar music]
♪
[glass shatters]
[man laughing]
♪ I'm definitely in the house.
♪
♪ I'll rip your head off,
♪ and I'm-a defecate
down your neck. ♪
♪ You better
aléjate
because I don't give a heck. ♪
♪ Can't understand
how I kicks my lingo. ♪
♪ You better stop that
♪ 'cause here comes
the crazy gringo in your face. ♪
[machine gun fire]
[Mary screaming]
♪ I can't understand
why you can't be your own man. ♪
♪ People try to get
with the style I got. ♪
♪ Don't you know I'm doin' it
without coke or pot? ♪
♪ I'm naturally kind of
fucked up like that. ♪
(man)
Whoo!
Look out; look out.
Ah, at last.
It's music to my soul.
[machine gun fire]
Mm, you remember
back when you stuck that gun
in that Chinese grocer's mouth?
Do you remember?
And the guy,
he almost creamed his pants.
And you turned to his wife
and his kids,
and you said,
"They shouldn't look up to a man
who wouldn't pay his debts."
[machine gun firing]
Now, what you taught me--
fear will get you
whatever you desire.
Nothing magical
about fear.
Easiest fucking thing to get.
[sighs]
[exhaling quietly]
[distant shouting]
[gun clicks]
[both grunting]
[machine gun fire]
I don't recognize you.
I mean, is this
the Good Samaritan, you know?
Who the fuck are you?
Oh, that's
a good question.
[distant choral music]
[glass shattering]
The door,
you could use the door.
Do you have guns, bullets?
Oh, no guns here.
This is a church store.
We sell cleanliness.
Cleanliness?
Cleanliness
is next to godliness.
[distant machine gun fire]
Ohhhh...
you...
Jacques.
Deus vault.
Ohhh.
Later, Father.
He's holier.
Such an honor
for a knight Templar.
I've been waiting
for you all my life.
Who are you?
No time.
Here, in the bottom panel,
for you,
something handed down
from knight to knight.
Yes, I know
the second I saw you.
You can't see.
You are blind.
But I knew
you were him,
the soldier.
It is written!
[chortling]
[whistling]
Putos, ven pa' acá.
Down!
iFeliz Navidad!
[gunshots]
[both speaking Spanish]
The soldier.
[men chanting]
[guns cocking]
(man)
Uno, dos, tres!
[machine gun fire]
Acaba con ésta.
[men laughing]
(Ramirez)
Here is written...
in the book
your destiny.
You must watch her well.
[machine gun fire]
The book.
Hey!
Whoo-hoo.
Don't see him?
No?
I want him.
[whistles]
Jacques, Jacques, Jacques,
Jacques, pretty Jacques.
Ohhh.
Oh, Jacques.
[whistles]
[motor revs]
[men groaning and coughing]
[shouting]
Crazy, stop this!
(Chollo)
Bonjour, Jacques Strap.
Now!
Laila didn't tell you?
Laila's dead.
That's right.
Yep.
[tires skidding]
And so are you.
Jacques!
♪
Run to me!
[fuse hissing]
[rocket firing]
Go!
To me!
Ohhh!
Remember the bank job
in upstate New York?
Remember that?
Those bankers?
[creaking sounds]
(man)
♪
La unión hace la fuerza,
♪
♪
el respeto ayuda♪
♪
a salvar diferencias
que a menudo ensucian.♪
Mary, stop!
Stop! Stop!
(man)
♪
Para hacerse avalancha
arrasando al paso.♪
[shouting]
♪
En el fin del siglo
la esperanza proclama♪
♪
que los hombres protejan
a esta tierra sagrada♪
♪
donde el diablo
a metido
♪
♪
tantas veces la cola,♪
♪
ya es tiempo, latinos,♪
♪
de ordenar
las cosas juntos!
♪
Laila will tell you
what to do.
(Laila)
Daddy?
Daddy?
(woman)
So you've come back
after all these years,
and Ronnie the Dog
is still mad as hell.
You and Anderson took my money
from the manager's safe.
Why?
I sent you fuckheads
to the bank
to cover with
the robbery
so that the cops
could pick up my money,
take their cut,
and bring it to me.
That was the plan.
Remember?
Yeah, but see,
Anderson's plan
was to rip you.
He took your money--
not my game, man.
Don't make me dead.
Don't make me
fuckin' dead.
(woman)But now
you started war
between me and the cops
when you turned that bank
into a bullet festival.
(man)
No!
[gunshot]
(woman)
Then you dicks disappeared.
Jones, get your fuckin' ass
in gear!
Yeah, after 15 years,
he calls me.
He's changed his name
to Cordobes.
Down in Mexico.
An address?
It ain't worth shit
to Ronnie.
It's like air.
You inhale,
but you don't get high,
so what's the point?
What if...
what if I make
Anderson dead?
(Laila)
What you gonna do now, Daddy?
Jones.
Leave it lay.
[gasps]
Leave it lay.
What's up?
Wha--
You stopped by, uh,
Ronnie the Dog's church spot.
You tried to sell me.
No.
No, I wouldn't do that to you.
I-I love ya,
like I love myself.
Aw, Jones,
you're my boy.
My boy, Jones, yes.
Hey, look...
did you ever see
this old French movie?
This French piano player--
I don't want to hear
your bullshit, Jones.
I got a story for ya.
Uh-huh.
It starts in the east.
Uh-huh.
A bad bank job
goes sour.
And I have to take off.
[low piano notes]
If it means anything to me.
Seven months pregnant.
We have to run away
from New York.
Now, Allison loved New York.
And when she found out
that she couldn't ever go back,
it broke her heart.
[low piano notes]
And she just stopped.
Stopped talking.
Stopped eating.
Stopped everything.
♪
Turned into...
skin and bones...
and went into a coma.
I'll never forget.
♪
That morning,
when she died...
it snowed.
In the desert,
snow...
like a...
New York...
wintry day.
You stole my life.
You stole my life.
Sorry, big daddy.
Oh, shit.
[gun clicking]
[whimpering]
Just kiddin'.
I was just kiddin'.
Well, all kiddin' aside,
Jones--
[gunshots]
[as Elvis]
Thank you very much.
Allison...
this one's for you.
[gunshot]
[bells jingling]
It's not like I planned Laila,
you know?
It's just,
I'm an idiot.
I took one look at her,
and all I could think about
was getting her.
But she was more woman
than you think, you know?
[snickers]
[scoffs]
She was not just
a little rich girl.
Oh, brother.
What the hell do you know
about women anyway?
I know women, okay?
Oh, okay.
So you remember
the first night we met?
Yeah, at Cordobes' place
last Easter, right?
Right.
Well, I guess you know
so much about women,
then I guess you noticed
the second that you walked
into that corral,
I picked you.
Meaning what?
Meaning--well, obviously
you don't know this.
But I picked you
to pick me up.
Get it?
What did you say?
Just forget it.
[tires popping]
[yells]
[tires skidding]
(Mary)
Jacques?
Jacques?
You okay?
Jacques, you all right?
Yeah, I'm okay.
I'm okay.
Oh, my Lord.
Four flats.
Four flats!
Never happens.
This is not even
remotely possible.
Could I quote you
on that?
[harp glissando]
My necklace.
And I want you to get the girl
with Jacques too.
The girl has nothing
to do with this.
Remember when you
beat up that guy
who slapped me for totaling
his '68 Mustang?
You promised me then
that you'd do anything for me,
even die.
You promised.
Mm-mm.
You forget?
We could be together
forever, Daddy,
if you'd just finish this
for me.
I...
Let's dance.
I'm serious.
It'll keep us warm.
Come on.
I'm not a good dancer.
Neither am I.
(woman)
♪ Cold and bitter--
(Mary)
So how'd you
get out here anyway?
I was in Australia.
Some guy showed me
how to walk the edge,
you know,
of the big reef,
surfing under the stars
with night vision goggles.
Unbelievable.
Unthinkable.
Never felt something
like that before.
So you learned how to feel
and not think, huh?
[laughs]
(woman)
♪ We all need your favor.
♪ Your people--
Uh...
(woman)
♪ A savior.
[both snickering]
And then this guy
from California
sends me
on the ultimate thrill,
the top of the top.
Staring into the eyes
of a bull
just before punching
the espada into his neck.
So I end up here.
[whispering]
Running for your life.
Oh, yeah,
it's a high.
Maybe...
climbing the Rocky Mountains
naked could beat it.
(woman)
♪ Messiana.
♪ Messiana.
You're standing
on my toes.
(woman)
♪ Messiana,
won't you come down? ♪
♪ Won't you come down?
♪ Are we the children,
or are we the lost? ♪
♪ Building a fortress
without any cost. ♪
♪ Will we be redeemed?
♪ Are we what we seem?
♪ Messiana,
won't you come down? ♪
Jacques.
Mmm?
Would you say
you love me?
Go on.
Say anything.
I'll take my chances.
Yeah, okay, I do.
Wha--
Could you at least say it
like you mean it?
You know, like...
[sighs]
Well, like
the Bee Gees would.
I love you from my heart.
I don't know why
I treat you bad.
I'm stupid.
(woman)
♪ Messiana.
Boy, are you
a smooth talker.
But honest.
I got something
I want to show you.
(woman)
♪ Messiana.
♪ Messiana. ♪
(Jacques)
Something very strange happened
before Father Ramirez died.
He gave me this book.
It's an illuminated book.
"And the last of the knights
of the temple of Solomon
"will vanquish the demons.
And the restless souls
will wander the universe."
[gasping]
(Jacques)
He said he's been
keeping it for me.
It's been passed from knight
to knight for a long time.
Fa-Father Ramirez
was dying, Jacques.
You know, he was--
he was--
um, he was probably speaking
in tongues, you know.
Okay, okay.
You couldn't see a miracle
even if it's happened to you.
I stop to talk with you.
[pages rustling]
Is this a miracle?
Huh?
[sword shinging]
Jacques?
That's you.
(Jacques)
It's a soldier.
Father Ramirez
kept calling me the soldier.
But it's not me.
I run away all the time.
That's all I do.
Jacques, kiss me.
[gagging]
What, Mary?
[retching]
Oh, God,
why did I do that?
I don't know
why I did that.
[fire roaring]
She's the angel lady.
Tomorrow night,
in precisely 24 hours,
you will give birth
to the Messiah.
What are you doing to me?
(woman)
Do not be afraid.
Jacques, you have
to move faster.
She's too close
to preventing the prophesy.
He will kill you
if he can.
Wait, wait.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Question.
You said you're always
helping me, right?
And now you tell me
I'm not gonna make it?
[crying]
Okay, we're cold sober,
no drugs, no hallucination.
Everything is fine.
[sobbing]
So now...
you believe me?
I'm pregnant.
Mary...
I'll take care of you.
Jacques, you don't even know
if you're going to be alive
tomorrow.
Why are you doing this to me?
Why are you putting me
through this?
I want to know.
You know I tried
going straight once.
You know that.
But you weren't there.
You're never there...
when people need you the most.
You took the only thing
that meant anything to me.
Wasn't that enough?
Now you take little Laila?
I don't think you ever existed.
Say something.
(Laila)
I know where they are.
If we are lucky,
we can find some diner
for Christmas turkey somewhere.
You feel okay?
Jacques, I don't think
I can walk anymore.
My feet and my hands
are all swollen up.
No problem.
Take a seat.
What are you do--
no, no, please don't.
My feet stink, Jacques.
Better now?
How's the baby inside?
I think I need tomatoes.
I remember my mother,
she told me
that, um, Dr. Spock,
he said that pregnant women
are supposed to eat tomatoes
when it's over 90 degrees
in the shade, you know, so...
Jacques,
what if it's dying?
What if it's dying?
Nobody's dying, okay?
Maybe we can flag down a plane.
[engine backfires]
[man laughing heartily]
Is that real?
[man shouting]
Much nicer
than a mirage.
Hey, hey!
Whoa!
Whoa!
[shouting indistinctly]
[laughing hysterically]
[gunshots]
Cordobes.
(Mary)
Jacques!
I beg your pardon.
(Mary)
It's kicking.
The baby's kicking hard!
(Jacques)
Get down.
No guns, Jacques.
(Jacques)
A guardian angel left it.
[gunshots]
[tires skidding]
Hold on.
[gunshots]
[Mary screaming]
[groans]
What?
What?
I think the contractions
have started.
Huh?
No, no,
it can't be right.
It is too early.
It's--it's--
it's not possible.
Oh, impossible?
Yeah?
Everything since I woke up
two days ago is impossible.
Oh!
[engine revving]
[harp glissando]
Run them down.
No, no.
I want to see the look
in Jacques' eyes
when I pull the trigger.
[giggles]
Yes, Daddy.
[giggling]
Damn it!
Hey, angel!
You said
you're always helping me.
Fuck I am supposed to do?
(Laila)
Gas.
(woman)
Jacques, use
the soldier's book.
Mary, get the book!
[gunshots]
[screaming]
What am I looking for?
Anything about
traveling or cars.
(Mary)
This isn't an Oldsmobile manual,
all right?
(Jacques)
Okay.
How to travel
in time or in space.
God damn it!
[gasping]
[spits]
[angrily]
Sit there.
Jacques,
do something, please.
[garbled voices on radio]
[organ music grinds down]
Yes, that's
what we did.
Mary, sing with me.
Close your eyes,
and block everything out.
Just listen to the tune.
I hate this song.
It's stupid.
Do it!
Do it!
Just do it, okay?
Deep and slow.
[groans]
♪ Should have married me.
Okay.
Keep concentrating
on the rhythm,
just the rhythm.
♪
[woman on radio]
♪ You used to run away
when you saw a road-- ♪
Right, what, hold on.
♪ Instead,
you should've married me. ♪
♪ Instead,
you should've married me. ♪
♪
♪ Instead of Elaine.
♪
♪ Instead of Elaine. ♪
[Mary groans]
Jacques.
Mary, is the baby okay?
Yeah.
The book's gone.
But...
I guess the book worked.
It's a strange place
to end up.
It's underground.
Huh?
It's my parents'
weird apartment building.
I just--I don't see
their Volvo.
[chuckles]
That is the smell
of turkey.
Turkey
never smelled better.
Oh, it's a note
from my brother.
It says, um,
that they're
at midnight mass
and to forget about getting
the cranberry sauce.
They'll just go to the store
after church.
No cranberry,
I like this kind of problem.
So no key?
I have a plan.
[doorbell rings]
Feliz Navidad,
Mrs. Martinez.
Oh, so good
to see you.
Uh, this is
my friend Jacques.
Do you still have
my parents' key by any chance?
(Mary)
Gracias.
Et voilà.
This is it.
[laughs]
Cute.
You rest,
and I'll wash up, okay?
Okay.
I'll just watch
your tree grow.
That's
my favorite activity.
[whispering]
Jacques, I love you.
[glass shattering]
Mary?
[cocks gun]
Mary?
[door rattles]
Shit.
What the fuck
are you doing here?
Hi, I'm Jacques.
You're a jock?
No, I'm Jacques, French.
I'm French,
Mary's boyfriend--
I mean, husband,
but we are not married yet and--
these Volvo keys?
[tires squealing]
Cordobes!
Let her go!
This is between you and me.
Bastard.
[gunshot]
[Jacques groans]
[Mary whimpering]
Jacques.
[electronic whirring]
[gunshot]
[Mary screams]
Jacques?
[Mary crying]
(Jacques)
Mary, get away!
(Mary)
I can't!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
(Laila)
Shoot her.
Now.
[growling]
[calliope music]
God damn you!
It's her...
No!
Or me.
[Cordobes grunting]
No!
[gunshot]
(Mary)
No!
Jacques.
Son of a bitch!
Kill the baby.
♪
[shouting]
Who are you?
Oh!
Careful.
No, Daddy, it's me.
Your little girl.
Shut the door!
(Laila)
Daddy.
You meant the world
to me, Daddy.
You meant the world
to me, Daddy.
[Mary groaning loudly]
Jacques, don't leave me!
Don't leave me!
Somebody help me.
[Mary sobbing]
Somebody, please--
[gunshot]
[gunshots]
Why'd you want this?
No wife.
No daughter.
No peace.
Go to Mary.
She needs you, Jacques.
Where were you?
Helping me?
You're alive.
What about him?
Like the Romans said,
"At the center of all things,
there are tears."
Demasiado corazón.
Too much heart.
Or hate.
Too much hate.
I keep reaching,
but I can't touch him.
I can't.
Allison.
Yes.
Don't leave me.
No, my love.
Your love?
My husband.
[sizzling noise]
Go.
We must go
and save Laila.
[baby cooing]
Come and say hello.
She won't bite.
It's a she?
Why not?
Uh, I just thought, uh--
okay.
Hello.
Hello.
What should I call her?
Her Majesty?
[snickering]
I call her "pumpkin."
Pumpkin?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, so, Pumpkins,
you are not
a dream, huh?
[baby crying]
Now the real trouble begins.
[both chuckle]
Pumpkins.
Once upon Christmas
in the 21st century--
(man)
No, no, no.
Once there was
this French guy--me--
here in Mexico,
and he wanted to be
a bullfighter.
(woman)
Uh, well, let's--okay.
This French bullfighter
didn't know much
about Christmas.
(man)
It's not a Christmas story.
That's a very important part.
It's much,
much more complicated.
It's about a man--
French guy--me--
(woman)
Okay, well, obviously,
you know the story.
You tell the story.
(man)
No, no, do it,
but I think
we are totally agree.
(woman)
Okay, the story
revolves around you,
so sure.
[woman clears throat]
Once there was a battle
between good and evil.
(man)
Yes, that's right.
It was terrible,
and this French guy--
oh, yeah, it's more about--
(woman)
Oh, okay, we're not gonna--
tell the story.
(man)
No, no, I think it's not--
(woman)
Yes.
(man)
Yes, yes, but, no,
it's much more complicated
than that.
(woman)
Okay, okay,
just watch this.
(man)
Okay, watch this.
[electronic whirring sounds]
(woman #2)
♪ Are you going
♪ to Scarborough Faire?
♪ Parsley, sage,
♪ rosemary, and thyme.
♪ Remember me
♪ to one who lives there.
♪ Once he was
♪ a true love of mine. ♪
Hey!
[lights thunking]
Ah.
(girl)
Big French Jacques.
I just wanna see how big.
[screeching noises]
You want a real bull?
[snorting]
[giggles]
Like you always say,
if you love me,
show me.
[rock music]
(man)
♪ I feel you.
♪ Your sun, it shines.
♪
♪ I feel you
♪ within my mind.
♪ You take me there.
I'm not dead yet,
pretty bull.
(man)
♪ The kingdom comes.
♪ You take me to Babylon.
Diablo!
(man)
♪ This is the morning
of our love. ♪
No!
[girl grunts]
(man)
♪ This is the morning
of our-- ♪
What happened?
(man)
It's okay.
It's okay.
[bull grunting]
I'll get help.
Daddy won't understand.
Go now.
(man)
Hey, who turned on
the goddamn lights?
I'll tell what happened.
Yeah, go now.
[metal clanking]
(man)
Who let the damn bull out?
[indistinct voices]
(man)
Oh, God damn it!
Mr. Cordobes!
Mr. Cordobes!
Mr. Cordobes!
Good boy.
Mr. Cordobes!
Your daughter!
[breathing heavily]
It's Laila.
(Cordobes)
How'd this happen?
Jacques.
Get the boys,
and find him.
All right.
(Cordobes)
Call a doctor.
[door creaking]
[gun cocks]
[gunshots]
[distant gunshot]
Jones.
Yeah.
Long time.
Need to see ya.
Yeah.
[light polka music]
[Rudolph, the Red-Nosed
Reindeer
playing]
♪
(woman)
All right, everybody,
and here we go.
Mary the Blaster is back.
[scattered applause]
All right.
Blast is the name,
and Blast is the game.
Four days to Christmas,
everyone.
Unbelievable.
And I have
one of my favorites here:
Tony and the Desert Kings
honkin' your way.
[scattered applause]
[O Come, All Ye Faithful intro]
[music warbles]
Okay, don't stop dancing!
[people murmuring]
[cheers and applause]
[music resumes]
[record scratches]
All right, Christmas 2000,
everybody sing with me.
(all)
♪ O come, all ye faithful,
♪ joyful and triumphant.
♪ O come, ye,
O come, ye, to Bethlehem. ♪
[Mary's voice]
Hail Mary, full of grace.
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
and blessed is--
♪ Come and behold Him,
♪ born the king of angels.
(Mary)
Joy to the world.
(all)
♪ O come, let us adore Him.
♪ O come, let us adore Him.
♪ O come, let us adore Him,
♪ Christ, the Lord. ♪
[fireworks crackling]
[cheers and whistles]
[fireworks whooshing]
[panting and coughing]
Which way?
Which way? Which way?
[fireworks exploding]
Yeah.
Mary the Blast.
[whispering]
You meant
the world to me, Daddy.
What's that, baby?
You meant the world
to me, Daddy.
(man)
She's gone, sir.
Please.
[Mary humming]
Mary.
[humming stops]
Go to hell, Jacques.
I need your help,
for real.
You--you got to take me
to the American border
very quickly, please.
[engine revving]
Man, trouble still follows you
like a horny dog, doesn't it?
(Jacques)
Oh, shit.
[Mary humming]
[men humming]
[chimes tinkling]
Hello?
Blaster.
Whew.
I know you.
You were up at Cordobes'
last Easter.
You're Chollo,
right?
Mm-hmm,
that's right.
Well, Blaster, we're out here
lookin' for a goddamn fool.
You, uh, seen any?
[chuckles]
Come on, now.
I hate fools.
Yeah, well,
this ain't any old fool.
This here's that flimsy
little French fool, Jacques.
We heard he was headed
this way.
(Mary)
Yeah?
What you want with him?
Oh, Mr. Cordobes would like
to talk to him is all.
Mr. Cordobes?
You tell Mr. Cordobes
that if I bump
into any fools,
especially French ones,
I'll give him a call.
While you're at it, uh,
why don't you give me
a call too?
A little bit later.
I'd like to show you
what a man like me can do
to a, uh, girl like you.
Phone sex with a chainsaw
doesn't turn me on, Chollo.
Yeah, well,
I never quite knew
what the boss saw good
in you anyhow, Blaster.
[kissing noises]
Come on.
[humming]
[whistling]
[engine revs]
Cordobes?
What are you, crazy?
That old skull,
he's disgusting.
He scared me last Easter
just looking at him.
Boy, did you ever mess with
the wrong joker.
I don't understand
what's happened.
I was just playing at
bullfighting at Cordobes' place,
and next, I don't know.
Laila let Diablo out.
That kid, Laila?
She turned that killer on you?
She said,
"Like you always say,
if you love me, show me."
W-w-w-wait a second.
You were courting
Cordobes' kid?
And you used
that dumb phony line on her?
Mary, it was a real bull,
understand?
And the bull turned
and gored her.
Would I make that up?
I don't think she
was hurt too bad.
No.
And she told me to run.
It was not my idea.
She told me!
[chuckles]
Amazing.
[sighs]
You're always
the victim.
(man)
From the book of Wisdom,
chapter 3, verses 1 through 9.
"The souls of the just
are in the hand of God,
"and no torment
shall touch them.
[car engine revs]
"They seemed, in the view
of the foolish, to be dead,
but they are in peace."
St. Paul's first letter
to Corinthians,
chapter 15,
verses 51 through 57.
"Behold,
"I tell you a mystery.
"We shall not all
fall asleep,
"but we shall be changed
in an instant,
"in the blink of an eye,
"at the last trumpet,
"for this
which is corruptible
"must clothe itself
with incorruptibility,
"and that which is mortal
"must clothe itself
with immortability.
"Then it shall be
brought to pass
the saying
that is written"--
[door creaking]
♪ I said-a, "Hey, ho,
and that-- ♪
(man)
"And where,
O death"--
Thank you, Padre.
Amen.
I ain't seen my old partner
in 15 years.
Ring, ring,
he calls me,
only to invite me
to a funeral.
That's my daughter, Jones.
[sighs]
Sorry, I, uh--
I mean, uh,
what happened?
Last night,
gored by the bull.
Doesn't make any sense.
Scared to death
of that bull.
I believe she was pushed
or baited.
She is--she was--
she is beautiful.
So was her mama.
We lost her
a long time ago.
When Allison died,
I said I'd spoil her.
I probably did
a little bit.
But she had the devil in her.
She was doing things
behind my back.
I'm so goddamn tired.
I'm sorry
that it got this bad.
Anything you need...
I need your talent.
I fill you in
on that son of a bitch.
You just track him
and bring him back to me.
You got it.
[Cordobes muttering]
Look out.
[coyote howling]
[static hissing]
[Mary yawning]
Yeah, the radio
doesn't work all the time.
Aw.
(woman)
♪ And an angel's kiss--
Ah,Summer Wine.
This song is a poem.
[laughing]
[singing along]
♪ Summer wine is really made
for all these things. ♪
[clapping rhythmically]
♪
[singing along]
♪ I walked in town
♪ on silver spurs
that jingled to-- ♪
[both chuckling]
Come on, sing.
I don't know
the line after.
[laughing]
[humming]
(man)
♪ She saw my silver spurs--
(Mary)
♪
And helped me pass
the time--
♪
Da-da-da-da-da-da.
♪ And I will give
to you-- ♪
(both)
♪ Summer wine.
♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh,
summer wine. ♪
(Mary)
But I'm dropping you in El Paso.
I'm gonna have to make a stop.
I got a gig up in San Miguel
tomorrow night,
and I am not missing it.
[van creaking]
[groans]
(woman)
♪ My summer wine is...
Would you let me see
your arm?
(woman)
♪ ...made from
all these things. ♪
Ay!
[groans]
Oh, that's infected.
Okay,
you need stitches.
You're nothing
but trouble.
Uh, there's a doctor
up in San Miguel, I think.
[phone beeping]
If this thing
doesn't keep cutting off.
(woman)
♪ Summer wine. ♪
[explosion rumbling]
What was that?
[booming and whooshing sounds]
(woman)
Jacques?
Your planet, Earth.
The universal evil
is encircling pure good.
You must wake up!
That's why the Messiah
comes now--comes now.
The Messiah will arrive
in precisely 72 hours.
An extinctor comes to hunt down
and kill the Messiah!
You, Jacques,
must prevent this.
I'm always
helping you.
This is
your last chance.
[sizzling sound]
You'll meet a soldier
who waits to give you a book.
Check your wound next time.
You'll see what is real.
[horn blaring]
(Mary)
Jacques!
Jacques!
Jacques!
Jacques!
Jacques!
Jacques, wake up!
Wake up!
Jacques!
[tires squealing]
[metal clanking]
Did you hear that?
Hear what?
The bell.
How the hell?
How the---
Gomez?
How the hell
did we get here?
Where--what,
did I sleep all night?
[breathing heavily]
We're 300 miles
from where we started.
Come on, guy,
this is Christmastimes.
I want to see
Santa Claus is Coming to Town.
[water dripping]
Check your wound next time.
Mary, maybe the most--
Maybe I am taking
a shower...alone.
Out!
Jacques.
[sighs]
Just go to sleep.
You have to rest
until we get your arm fixed.
No, my arm,
it's different now.
Did you get
the big picture here?
I shower,
and you sleep.
Then we go find
a doctor.
All right?
Now, get out.
Touch.
What's wrong
with this?
Nothing.
Nothing.
What I thought.
Just checking.
When you finish
your shower,
no doctor needed.
Got to keep going through
to San Miguel.
[mellow reggae music]
♪
You okay?
Can I see your arm again?
You want to talk
about your arm?
Well, what's up with that?
What, is it the shower?
Did I piss you off?
No, no, you're helping me.
Thanks.
You know, we're gonna be
locked up in this tin can
for the next couple of days.
You might as well spit it out.
[man singing in Spanish]
♪
I had a vision.
An angel lady spoke to me
about protecting
the future world.
Shit!
[tires squealing]
Would somebody like to tell me
why I'm saving his crazy ass?
Hey, remember that big light?
Hitting us off the road?
I remember you driving straight
into that 18-wheel truck.
No, no, before that,
when we were singing.
Singin'?
Yeah.
Then bam!
There she was.
Angel lady.
She said
I'm on a mission.
Mm-hmm.
Protecting some Messiah guy
from the underworld.
But she'll be helping me.
Okay, Jacques--
No, no,
let me finish.
Anyway, I don't think
I start this mission
till tomorrow night
because that's when
the Messiah comes.
Hmm.
You doin' a lot
of drugs, Jacques?
Talking to her was as real
as talking to you now.
Really?
Actually,
more real.
What?
You're--you're fighting me
about this?
You?
But you believe
in all these things.
You know, um,
how do you say that in English?
Religion stuff.
Religion stuff?
Right.
Okay, there's one thing
I don't get, Jacques.
You don't believe
in God, right?
You have never set foot
in a church.
Right?
And...
you're a pagan loser.
So this mission...
why you, Jacques, huh?
Why you?
Maybe I need
this shot.
She said this is
my last chance.
For redemption, I guess.
Jacques, you got
no chance.
And no angels
talk to jerks.
Angels don't like jerks.
So who fixed my arm?
Maybe it wasn't as bad
as it seemed.
♪
[tires squeal]
♪
[sirens wailing]
Jones, get your fuckin' ass
in gear!
We're running behind!
[eerie music]
Daddy?
[tires squealing]
[sirens wailing]
They're gone for now.
(Cordobes)
Laila.
I miss you,
Daddy.
Will you do your little girl
a favor?
Come with me.
[giggling]
[man grunting]
[gasping]
(man)
This can't be real.
No?
Did you think maybe
it's the movie?
Know what I say?
I say, if the movie
don't have Elvis in it,
it ain't worth a damn.
(Laila)
They can't see
or hear you, Daddy.
[piano keys play discordantly]
A little, uh,
thinkin' music for ya.
[snaps fingers]
[plays discordant glissando]
[playing
Chopsticks]
Jones, you lying
son of a bitch.
He got caught
in the vault.
He jumped
into the vault.
He shoot
to protect himself.
Couldn't get the money.
Had to run out.
[shouting]
Lying son of a bitch!
I had to show you, Daddy.
Give him some air.
Now, you know, it only takes
telling me eight little numbers,
and he'll breathe.
Elvis, huh?
I'm beggin' you.
(Jones)
You're what?
Tell me numbers.
[cackling]
You laughin'?
Laughin' at my Elvis
piano playin'?
[shouts]
No! No!
[keys banging]
[sighs]
[Chopsticks
continues]
I'll, uh, give him some air.
[gunshot]
[whimpering]
Sweet air.
No.
Goddamn you!
[grunting]
[groaning]
[plastic whooshing]
No.
8-6-7...
Come on.
Give me the rest of it.
Unh!
Come on.
Uh--
[sighs]
8-6-7-5-3-0-9-1.
Gee, thank you, Colonel.
Ah!
No!
[grunts]
[humming]
8-6-7--
ah, God damn it.
8-6-7-5-what?
(man)
3-0-9-1.
Appreciate that.
Look at that sneaky little
son of a bitch.
Money in the safe
belonged to Ronnie the Dog.
The cops
were supposed to get it,
get a kickback.
You rotten, dirty, little wormy
son of a bitch.
If I'd have known
at the time,
I'd have blown a goddamn hole
in his ass a mile wide,
given the money back
to Ronnie the Dog,
and never have to go
to Mexico.
You've been running
17 years,
my whole life.
Ah, baby.
Obliged to you all.
Thank you
for a fine performance.
No.
And now
the fat lady sings.
[man screams]
No!
[gunshots]
[wheezing]
[gunshots]
[gurgling]
(Laila)
Jones wasn't true to you then.
He's not true to you now.
[cell phone ringing]
Yeah, Jones.
Hey, you know this girl
they nicknamed Mary the Blast?
Some kind of road-running DJ?
Yeah, yeah, I know her.
Met her last Easter
at bull testing. Why?
Well, the target's with her
on the road to San Miguel.
Oh, really?
(Jones)
Uh-huh.
Do nothing till I get there.
(Jones)
Hummah-hummah.
Love it when you
try to control Elvis.
I've played this searching game.
And you know I run
the fucking game.
I won't lose the beat.
Off to San Miguel.
Right, meet you in San Miguel,
High Noon Cantina,
today at sunset, E.
[kisses]
[engine revs]
[sentimental accordion music]
♪
[whistling]
[horn honks]
[chuckles]
Maria.
Blaster, my heart.
[chuckling]
It's been too long.
But you're
right on time.
[whooshing sound]
♪
Who's he?
He's just a hitch
I picked up.
♪
So I'm settin' up?
The usual spot.
Near the church
of St. Michael.
Anything you need,
come get from my store.
Okay.
Send your...
hitch friend.
Got a thing going
with the blind man, huh?
[chuckles]
He's only half blind.
You jealous, Jacques?
Outta my way.
You know, Father Ramirez,
he started these small-town
Christmas linkups
back in the '60s
with my uncle.
Here?
Better make it fast.
We got to be set up
by sunset.
There's laws against
this slavery shit, woman, okay?
Oh, that's right.
You're my little
Frenchy slave boy
till we get
to El Paso.
[scoffs]
[menacing music]
♪
Viva...Las Vegas.
I used to help him out
on my school breaks,
and then I took over
when he died.
I said viva...
[breathes deeply]
Las Vegas.
♪
♪ The target's now--
[humming]
♪ down by the church-ahhh.
♪
(Cordobes)
I used to wish
I could sing.
Now I wish
you could.
Ain't you proud?
I sing better
than you, daddio.
How are the boys?
I got 'em all
gunned up, ready...
outside.
None for me.
Huh?
Bad innards.
[sighs]
[sniffs]
To revenge.
[slurping]
[sighs]
Come on.
Get into it.
I never thought
I'd see the, uh--
the old maestro
upset over an old rumble.
Like the million other
crazy shit times
we hit for Ronnie the Dog.
Ronnie the Dog.
Different time.
I was a different cat.
Different cat?
Nobody changes that much.
Her name was Allison.
[sighs]
You made me what I am.
I'm grateful.
I never asked you
to kill anybody ever.
Remember?
Oh, I don't forget.
I listen.
You call the tunes.
Me, I--
I just jump when you whistle.
I never asked you
to kill anybody, all right?
[snickers]
Now, tell me
how you feel about that.
How I feel?
How I feel.
Ahhh.
That's how the fuck I feel.
I don't.
You taught me.
Remember?
Aha!
Oh, beautiful.
Ha-ha,
Blast time.
I think we broke
a setup record today.
You wanna be
my roadie?
(child)
Wait for me!
I don't understand why you
break your back here in nowhere,
when you're making good money
in Texas as a teacher.
(Mary)
It's for them,
the music and fun,
light up the God path
to Christmas.
And maybe it's for me too,
my own secret life.
[cat yowling]
What the hell?
(Jacques)
Easy, I know these guys.
Just jerk-offs,
wannabes.
Jacques, those aren't
wannabe guns.
[rock guitar music]
♪
[glass shatters]
[man laughing]
♪ I'm definitely in the house.
♪
♪ I'll rip your head off,
♪ and I'm-a defecate
down your neck. ♪
♪ You better
aléjate
because I don't give a heck. ♪
♪ Can't understand
how I kicks my lingo. ♪
♪ You better stop that
♪ 'cause here comes
the crazy gringo in your face. ♪
[machine gun fire]
[Mary screaming]
♪ I can't understand
why you can't be your own man. ♪
♪ People try to get
with the style I got. ♪
♪ Don't you know I'm doin' it
without coke or pot? ♪
♪ I'm naturally kind of
fucked up like that. ♪
(man)
Whoo!
Look out; look out.
Ah, at last.
It's music to my soul.
[machine gun fire]
Mm, you remember
back when you stuck that gun
in that Chinese grocer's mouth?
Do you remember?
And the guy,
he almost creamed his pants.
And you turned to his wife
and his kids,
and you said,
"They shouldn't look up to a man
who wouldn't pay his debts."
[machine gun firing]
Now, what you taught me--
fear will get you
whatever you desire.
Nothing magical
about fear.
Easiest fucking thing to get.
[sighs]
[exhaling quietly]
[distant shouting]
[gun clicks]
[both grunting]
[machine gun fire]
I don't recognize you.
I mean, is this
the Good Samaritan, you know?
Who the fuck are you?
Oh, that's
a good question.
[distant choral music]
[glass shattering]
The door,
you could use the door.
Do you have guns, bullets?
Oh, no guns here.
This is a church store.
We sell cleanliness.
Cleanliness?
Cleanliness
is next to godliness.
[distant machine gun fire]
Ohhhh...
you...
Jacques.
Deus vault.
Ohhh.
Later, Father.
He's holier.
Such an honor
for a knight Templar.
I've been waiting
for you all my life.
Who are you?
No time.
Here, in the bottom panel,
for you,
something handed down
from knight to knight.
Yes, I know
the second I saw you.
You can't see.
You are blind.
But I knew
you were him,
the soldier.
It is written!
[chortling]
[whistling]
Putos, ven pa' acá.
Down!
iFeliz Navidad!
[gunshots]
[both speaking Spanish]
The soldier.
[men chanting]
[guns cocking]
(man)
Uno, dos, tres!
[machine gun fire]
Acaba con ésta.
[men laughing]
(Ramirez)
Here is written...
in the book
your destiny.
You must watch her well.
[machine gun fire]
The book.
Hey!
Whoo-hoo.
Don't see him?
No?
I want him.
[whistles]
Jacques, Jacques, Jacques,
Jacques, pretty Jacques.
Ohhh.
Oh, Jacques.
[whistles]
[motor revs]
[men groaning and coughing]
[shouting]
Crazy, stop this!
(Chollo)
Bonjour, Jacques Strap.
Now!
Laila didn't tell you?
Laila's dead.
That's right.
Yep.
[tires skidding]
And so are you.
Jacques!
♪
Run to me!
[fuse hissing]
[rocket firing]
Go!
To me!
Ohhh!
Remember the bank job
in upstate New York?
Remember that?
Those bankers?
[creaking sounds]
(man)
♪
La unión hace la fuerza,
♪
♪
el respeto ayuda♪
♪
a salvar diferencias
que a menudo ensucian.♪
Mary, stop!
Stop! Stop!
(man)
♪
Para hacerse avalancha
arrasando al paso.♪
[shouting]
♪
En el fin del siglo
la esperanza proclama♪
♪
que los hombres protejan
a esta tierra sagrada♪
♪
donde el diablo
a metido
♪
♪
tantas veces la cola,♪
♪
ya es tiempo, latinos,♪
♪
de ordenar
las cosas juntos!
♪
Laila will tell you
what to do.
(Laila)
Daddy?
Daddy?
(woman)
So you've come back
after all these years,
and Ronnie the Dog
is still mad as hell.
You and Anderson took my money
from the manager's safe.
Why?
I sent you fuckheads
to the bank
to cover with
the robbery
so that the cops
could pick up my money,
take their cut,
and bring it to me.
That was the plan.
Remember?
Yeah, but see,
Anderson's plan
was to rip you.
He took your money--
not my game, man.
Don't make me dead.
Don't make me
fuckin' dead.
(woman)But now
you started war
between me and the cops
when you turned that bank
into a bullet festival.
(man)
No!
[gunshot]
(woman)
Then you dicks disappeared.
Jones, get your fuckin' ass
in gear!
Yeah, after 15 years,
he calls me.
He's changed his name
to Cordobes.
Down in Mexico.
An address?
It ain't worth shit
to Ronnie.
It's like air.
You inhale,
but you don't get high,
so what's the point?
What if...
what if I make
Anderson dead?
(Laila)
What you gonna do now, Daddy?
Jones.
Leave it lay.
[gasps]
Leave it lay.
What's up?
Wha--
You stopped by, uh,
Ronnie the Dog's church spot.
You tried to sell me.
No.
No, I wouldn't do that to you.
I-I love ya,
like I love myself.
Aw, Jones,
you're my boy.
My boy, Jones, yes.
Hey, look...
did you ever see
this old French movie?
This French piano player--
I don't want to hear
your bullshit, Jones.
I got a story for ya.
Uh-huh.
It starts in the east.
Uh-huh.
A bad bank job
goes sour.
And I have to take off.
[low piano notes]
If it means anything to me.
Seven months pregnant.
We have to run away
from New York.
Now, Allison loved New York.
And when she found out
that she couldn't ever go back,
it broke her heart.
[low piano notes]
And she just stopped.
Stopped talking.
Stopped eating.
Stopped everything.
♪
Turned into...
skin and bones...
and went into a coma.
I'll never forget.
♪
That morning,
when she died...
it snowed.
In the desert,
snow...
like a...
New York...
wintry day.
You stole my life.
You stole my life.
Sorry, big daddy.
Oh, shit.
[gun clicking]
[whimpering]
Just kiddin'.
I was just kiddin'.
Well, all kiddin' aside,
Jones--
[gunshots]
[as Elvis]
Thank you very much.
Allison...
this one's for you.
[gunshot]
[bells jingling]
It's not like I planned Laila,
you know?
It's just,
I'm an idiot.
I took one look at her,
and all I could think about
was getting her.
But she was more woman
than you think, you know?
[snickers]
[scoffs]
She was not just
a little rich girl.
Oh, brother.
What the hell do you know
about women anyway?
I know women, okay?
Oh, okay.
So you remember
the first night we met?
Yeah, at Cordobes' place
last Easter, right?
Right.
Well, I guess you know
so much about women,
then I guess you noticed
the second that you walked
into that corral,
I picked you.
Meaning what?
Meaning--well, obviously
you don't know this.
But I picked you
to pick me up.
Get it?
What did you say?
Just forget it.
[tires popping]
[yells]
[tires skidding]
(Mary)
Jacques?
Jacques?
You okay?
Jacques, you all right?
Yeah, I'm okay.
I'm okay.
Oh, my Lord.
Four flats.
Four flats!
Never happens.
This is not even
remotely possible.
Could I quote you
on that?
[harp glissando]
My necklace.
And I want you to get the girl
with Jacques too.
The girl has nothing
to do with this.
Remember when you
beat up that guy
who slapped me for totaling
his '68 Mustang?
You promised me then
that you'd do anything for me,
even die.
You promised.
Mm-mm.
You forget?
We could be together
forever, Daddy,
if you'd just finish this
for me.
I...
Let's dance.
I'm serious.
It'll keep us warm.
Come on.
I'm not a good dancer.
Neither am I.
(woman)
♪ Cold and bitter--
(Mary)
So how'd you
get out here anyway?
I was in Australia.
Some guy showed me
how to walk the edge,
you know,
of the big reef,
surfing under the stars
with night vision goggles.
Unbelievable.
Unthinkable.
Never felt something
like that before.
So you learned how to feel
and not think, huh?
[laughs]
(woman)
♪ We all need your favor.
♪ Your people--
Uh...
(woman)
♪ A savior.
[both snickering]
And then this guy
from California
sends me
on the ultimate thrill,
the top of the top.
Staring into the eyes
of a bull
just before punching
the espada into his neck.
So I end up here.
[whispering]
Running for your life.
Oh, yeah,
it's a high.
Maybe...
climbing the Rocky Mountains
naked could beat it.
(woman)
♪ Messiana.
♪ Messiana.
You're standing
on my toes.
(woman)
♪ Messiana,
won't you come down? ♪
♪ Won't you come down?
♪ Are we the children,
or are we the lost? ♪
♪ Building a fortress
without any cost. ♪
♪ Will we be redeemed?
♪ Are we what we seem?
♪ Messiana,
won't you come down? ♪
Jacques.
Mmm?
Would you say
you love me?
Go on.
Say anything.
I'll take my chances.
Yeah, okay, I do.
Wha--
Could you at least say it
like you mean it?
You know, like...
[sighs]
Well, like
the Bee Gees would.
I love you from my heart.
I don't know why
I treat you bad.
I'm stupid.
(woman)
♪ Messiana.
Boy, are you
a smooth talker.
But honest.
I got something
I want to show you.
(woman)
♪ Messiana.
♪ Messiana. ♪
(Jacques)
Something very strange happened
before Father Ramirez died.
He gave me this book.
It's an illuminated book.
"And the last of the knights
of the temple of Solomon
"will vanquish the demons.
And the restless souls
will wander the universe."
[gasping]
(Jacques)
He said he's been
keeping it for me.
It's been passed from knight
to knight for a long time.
Fa-Father Ramirez
was dying, Jacques.
You know, he was--
he was--
um, he was probably speaking
in tongues, you know.
Okay, okay.
You couldn't see a miracle
even if it's happened to you.
I stop to talk with you.
[pages rustling]
Is this a miracle?
Huh?
[sword shinging]
Jacques?
That's you.
(Jacques)
It's a soldier.
Father Ramirez
kept calling me the soldier.
But it's not me.
I run away all the time.
That's all I do.
Jacques, kiss me.
[gagging]
What, Mary?
[retching]
Oh, God,
why did I do that?
I don't know
why I did that.
[fire roaring]
She's the angel lady.
Tomorrow night,
in precisely 24 hours,
you will give birth
to the Messiah.
What are you doing to me?
(woman)
Do not be afraid.
Jacques, you have
to move faster.
She's too close
to preventing the prophesy.
He will kill you
if he can.
Wait, wait.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Question.
You said you're always
helping me, right?
And now you tell me
I'm not gonna make it?
[crying]
Okay, we're cold sober,
no drugs, no hallucination.
Everything is fine.
[sobbing]
So now...
you believe me?
I'm pregnant.
Mary...
I'll take care of you.
Jacques, you don't even know
if you're going to be alive
tomorrow.
Why are you doing this to me?
Why are you putting me
through this?
I want to know.
You know I tried
going straight once.
You know that.
But you weren't there.
You're never there...
when people need you the most.
You took the only thing
that meant anything to me.
Wasn't that enough?
Now you take little Laila?
I don't think you ever existed.
Say something.
(Laila)
I know where they are.
If we are lucky,
we can find some diner
for Christmas turkey somewhere.
You feel okay?
Jacques, I don't think
I can walk anymore.
My feet and my hands
are all swollen up.
No problem.
Take a seat.
What are you do--
no, no, please don't.
My feet stink, Jacques.
Better now?
How's the baby inside?
I think I need tomatoes.
I remember my mother,
she told me
that, um, Dr. Spock,
he said that pregnant women
are supposed to eat tomatoes
when it's over 90 degrees
in the shade, you know, so...
Jacques,
what if it's dying?
What if it's dying?
Nobody's dying, okay?
Maybe we can flag down a plane.
[engine backfires]
[man laughing heartily]
Is that real?
[man shouting]
Much nicer
than a mirage.
Hey, hey!
Whoa!
Whoa!
[shouting indistinctly]
[laughing hysterically]
[gunshots]
Cordobes.
(Mary)
Jacques!
I beg your pardon.
(Mary)
It's kicking.
The baby's kicking hard!
(Jacques)
Get down.
No guns, Jacques.
(Jacques)
A guardian angel left it.
[gunshots]
[tires skidding]
Hold on.
[gunshots]
[Mary screaming]
[groans]
What?
What?
I think the contractions
have started.
Huh?
No, no,
it can't be right.
It is too early.
It's--it's--
it's not possible.
Oh, impossible?
Yeah?
Everything since I woke up
two days ago is impossible.
Oh!
[engine revving]
[harp glissando]
Run them down.
No, no.
I want to see the look
in Jacques' eyes
when I pull the trigger.
[giggles]
Yes, Daddy.
[giggling]
Damn it!
Hey, angel!
You said
you're always helping me.
Fuck I am supposed to do?
(Laila)
Gas.
(woman)
Jacques, use
the soldier's book.
Mary, get the book!
[gunshots]
[screaming]
What am I looking for?
Anything about
traveling or cars.
(Mary)
This isn't an Oldsmobile manual,
all right?
(Jacques)
Okay.
How to travel
in time or in space.
God damn it!
[gasping]
[spits]
[angrily]
Sit there.
Jacques,
do something, please.
[garbled voices on radio]
[organ music grinds down]
Yes, that's
what we did.
Mary, sing with me.
Close your eyes,
and block everything out.
Just listen to the tune.
I hate this song.
It's stupid.
Do it!
Do it!
Just do it, okay?
Deep and slow.
[groans]
♪ Should have married me.
Okay.
Keep concentrating
on the rhythm,
just the rhythm.
♪
[woman on radio]
♪ You used to run away
when you saw a road-- ♪
Right, what, hold on.
♪ Instead,
you should've married me. ♪
♪ Instead,
you should've married me. ♪
♪
♪ Instead of Elaine.
♪
♪ Instead of Elaine. ♪
[Mary groans]
Jacques.
Mary, is the baby okay?
Yeah.
The book's gone.
But...
I guess the book worked.
It's a strange place
to end up.
It's underground.
Huh?
It's my parents'
weird apartment building.
I just--I don't see
their Volvo.
[chuckles]
That is the smell
of turkey.
Turkey
never smelled better.
Oh, it's a note
from my brother.
It says, um,
that they're
at midnight mass
and to forget about getting
the cranberry sauce.
They'll just go to the store
after church.
No cranberry,
I like this kind of problem.
So no key?
I have a plan.
[doorbell rings]
Feliz Navidad,
Mrs. Martinez.
Oh, so good
to see you.
Uh, this is
my friend Jacques.
Do you still have
my parents' key by any chance?
(Mary)
Gracias.
Et voilà.
This is it.
[laughs]
Cute.
You rest,
and I'll wash up, okay?
Okay.
I'll just watch
your tree grow.
That's
my favorite activity.
[whispering]
Jacques, I love you.
[glass shattering]
Mary?
[cocks gun]
Mary?
[door rattles]
Shit.
What the fuck
are you doing here?
Hi, I'm Jacques.
You're a jock?
No, I'm Jacques, French.
I'm French,
Mary's boyfriend--
I mean, husband,
but we are not married yet and--
these Volvo keys?
[tires squealing]
Cordobes!
Let her go!
This is between you and me.
Bastard.
[gunshot]
[Jacques groans]
[Mary whimpering]
Jacques.
[electronic whirring]
[gunshot]
[Mary screams]
Jacques?
[Mary crying]
(Jacques)
Mary, get away!
(Mary)
I can't!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
(Laila)
Shoot her.
Now.
[growling]
[calliope music]
God damn you!
It's her...
No!
Or me.
[Cordobes grunting]
No!
[gunshot]
(Mary)
No!
Jacques.
Son of a bitch!
Kill the baby.
♪
[shouting]
Who are you?
Oh!
Careful.
No, Daddy, it's me.
Your little girl.
Shut the door!
(Laila)
Daddy.
You meant the world
to me, Daddy.
You meant the world
to me, Daddy.
[Mary groaning loudly]
Jacques, don't leave me!
Don't leave me!
Somebody help me.
[Mary sobbing]
Somebody, please--
[gunshot]
[gunshots]
Why'd you want this?
No wife.
No daughter.
No peace.
Go to Mary.
She needs you, Jacques.
Where were you?
Helping me?
You're alive.
What about him?
Like the Romans said,
"At the center of all things,
there are tears."
Demasiado corazón.
Too much heart.
Or hate.
Too much hate.
I keep reaching,
but I can't touch him.
I can't.
Allison.
Yes.
Don't leave me.
No, my love.
Your love?
My husband.
[sizzling noise]
Go.
We must go
and save Laila.
[baby cooing]
Come and say hello.
She won't bite.
It's a she?
Why not?
Uh, I just thought, uh--
okay.
Hello.
Hello.
What should I call her?
Her Majesty?
[snickering]
I call her "pumpkin."
Pumpkin?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, so, Pumpkins,
you are not
a dream, huh?
[baby crying]
Now the real trouble begins.
[both chuckle]
Pumpkins.