Bugs Bunny's Valentine (1979) - full transcript

25.000 English SDH
DVD Subrip PAL ? 29.06.2020

Shh. Be very, very quiet.

I'm hunting lonesome hearts
that need to fall in love.

Eh, what's up, doc?

I'm no doc, you crazy rabbit. I'm Cupid.

For real?

You sure look like somebody I know.

No, couldn't be. He's a hunter.

Well, I'm a hunter.

Only, I'm hunting lonesome hearts
that need romance.

Romance, no-mance.

When it's spring, a young person's fancy
lightly turns to thoughts of love.

Who needs Cupid?

Everybody does. Even you.

Me? Don't you believe it.

All I need is gorgeous nature
and beautiful carrots.

Ech! He loves roots?

Well, ta-ta, nature boy.
I'm on my way to the races.

Hey, by the way, shorty, don't hurt
nobody with your little bow and arrows.

Oh, that conceited rabbit.

I'll put some zing in his life
he's not expecting.

The race is
about to start, ladies and gentlemen.

I don't wanna miss this.

There goes the buzzer
and there goes the rabbit.


Now that rabbit's gonna get it.

Wow! What a hunk
of feminine poultratudy.

The dogs are going wild.
And there they go!

What? Dogs chasing that cute little bunny?
They can't do this.

Chivalry is not dead.
I'll save you, sweetheart.

Wow, what a charge. Ain't nature grand?

Nature? You can't depend on nature.

For romance, even the world's
greatest lovers need Cupid.

I am the broken heart of love.
I am the disillusioned.

I wish to enlist in the foreign legion
so I may forget.

Take me.

Pep? Le Pew.

A pitiful case, am I not?

Dites-moi les... number.

Holy une smoke!


Why have they all go?
Why do they leave the fort?

Oh, but of course.

Already I have achieved
the post of great honor.

I have been left to defend the fort.

Hut, deux, trois.

Dashing, no?

Hut, deux, trois.

Hut, deux, trois.

Hut, deux, trois.

Hut, deux, trois.

Hut, deux, trois.

Hut, deux, trois--


The post of honor can wait, no?

Mon ch?rie,
it is an affair de amour, is it not?

It is an affair
of we love each other madly.

Oh, my little:

Oh, my--

Huh? What is this?

Oh, but of course.

The small one,
she is wish to put on her face...

...before we continue with the wooing.

Hello, baby.

Oh, this impetuous one, she is overcome
by her emotions at seeing me again.

I am the sheik, no?

How strange it is, this innocent one,
that she can rest when I am so near?

We must restoke the furnace of love,
must we not, yes?

Now my swift arrow of love
will light her fires.

Pep? Le Pew loves you

Fortunate, lucky you

Wake up and you will find

He's got you on his mind

But, madame...

I have overstoked the furnace, yes?

Madame, control yourself.
Your conduct is unseemly.

Control yourself. Madame!

Why is it that whenever a man
is captured by a woman...

...all he wish to do is get away?

Well, kiss my carrots, I am impressed.

Oh, sure, that's nothing.

That sad case
will be even more impressive.

You see, some people need my help
even more than others.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute, sister.

Turn off your fandango.

Are you--? I say, are you by any chance
looking at me as a matrimonial prospect?


Well, cross me off your list, gal.

I belong to Bachelors Anonymous.

So turn your damper down, gal,
and get yourself a hobby.

Gal reminds me of the highway
- no curves.

Hey, sister,
if you wanna land that big lug...

...you're going about it the wrong way.

- You gotta play hard to get.
- Yes.

Since I'd like to see that rooster
hitched to you...

...I'll help you out.

But you gotta do as I tells you.

Now listen.

Here comes that little old gal
who's nuts about me.

I'll say hello.

I say, hello.

She passed-- I say, she passed me by.

I know, she just didn't see me.
I'll say it again.


I've been-- I say, I've been snubbed.
She must have another fella.

I'd better check on this.

This arrow is tinged with jealousy.
It should do the trick.

Some-- I say, some kid should be
more careful with his arrows.

This kind of thing
could get somebody into trouble.

Uh-oh. Here he comes.

I love you. I'll buy you jewels.
We'll travel.

Why, that no-good love thief.

Get your-- I say, get your hands off of her,
you interloping snake in the grass.

This gal loves me.

I'm marrying this gal.

I'm marrying this gal.

Oh, no, you're not.

Oh, yes, I am.

Why, Prissy, they're fighting over you.


Come on, gal,
let's go before he wakes up.

I'll show him he can't beat my time.

I now pronounce you, rooster and hen.

I won, I won!


Hey, there must have been some way
I could have lost.

See how happy I made her?

Yeah, but what about the poor guy?
You're a meddler.

You know a better way?

I sure do. And when I join them,
they stay joined.

What a maroon.

What a--
Hey, scram. Go on. Beat it.

The Tazmanian Devil's liable to get you.

He's a mean, vicious, nasty, no-good,
baggy-eyed, marble-headed ignoramus.

- He's a stupid-- Eeh.
- Flattery will get you nowhere.

Huh? Why, yeah, yeah. That's right, doc.

This little bitsy animal
is made out of straw.

But you're not.

Long distance? Get me Tasmania.

I want the Tasmanian Post Dispatch.

What I got up my sleeve
shouldn't happen to--

Hello? Tasmanian Post Dispatch?

"Lonely Tasmanian devil
would like to meet lonely lady devil.


- Take this?
- Aha.


- Aha.
- I now pronounce you devil and devilish.

All the world loves a lover,
but in this case, we'll make an exception.

So you see, Cupid, baby,
that's the way it is.

Really, who needs you?

Oh, that rascally rabbit.
I'll show him yet.

"Local widow inherits 50 million dollars."

50 million dollars. Ooh! Hm.

The widow ought to get married.


Oh, it's chilly in here.

Coming, coming.

I want you, baby. Your eyes, your lips.

Come with me to the casbah.

We'll make beautiful music together.

Come to papa, baby.

Land sake, nothing like this
has happened to me...

...since the boys got back
from Gettysburg.

Oh, goodness.

Oh, goodness, someone's at the door.

Hey, don't go away, I'll be right back.

Aha! I find thee, my little pigeon.

Fly with me to Paris.

Oh, my, 20 years, nothing.

And then it all piles up in one day.

Oh, goodness me.

Eh, what is up, Monsieur les Physician?

You darn dude,
I'll give you a taste of leather.

Ha! You have insult the great lover,
the marquis of Queensberry Rules.

Take this.


Pistols at 10 paces?

You're on.

- En garde.
- I'm ready.

One, two, three, four, five...

...six, seven, eight, nine...

...nine and a half, nine and three quarters,
nine and three-sixteenths...

twelve-sixteenths, ten.

Yep, he's right on time.

What a night.

Open up. Open up that door.

Coming, coming.

Now I got--



Oh, my.

You're cute. Let's elope.

Okay, you get to the window,
I'll get a ladder.

I want to take a few things along.


That dame's taking everything
but the kitchen sink.

Don't forget the money, Emmy.

Do you, Sam, take this woman--


--To be your lawful wedded wife?

Eh-- Uh--

No. No, I won't. I won't.

- Not for a billion. I won't, I won't, I won't!
- Boo-hoo-hoo.

Always a bridesmaid, but never a bride.

Kind of makes you wanna cry, doesn't it?

I need something to pick me up.
A real challenge.

And there he is.

If I can make someone love him,
it will be the supreme test of my powers.

Walk this way, sir.

It ain't easy.

All right, let's get to the bottom of this.

Where's the body?

Was someone asking for me?

Enter the inevitable amorous babe...

...who's just crazy about us
hard-boiled gumshoes.

And just who are you, sister?

I'm the body, sweetheart,
and I'm innocent.

Do you hear me? Innocent.

This is innocent?

Oh, baby, you gorgeous hunk of duck.

Why did you do it?

I didn't do it, sweetheart.
I'm innocent.

Oh, no, you're not.
You did it, all right.

Guilt is written all over your face.



You did it, and you're glad you did it.
You're despicable. Just plain despicable.

And, and, and...

And you're cute.

It'll take more than that to keep Duck
Drake from solving this baffling crime.

Crime, sweetheart?

Nobody's committed any crime.

They haven't? Then why--?

I ask you, why was I summoned here
to the Axe-Handle Estate?

Silly boy, the Axe-Handle Estate's
a couple of blocks up the street.

Then you are innocent.

Uh-uh. Sweetheart, I'm guilty.

No crime committed but she's guilty.

And what, pray tell, may I ask,
are you guilty of?

Of being crazy about you, sweetheart.

Uh-oh. She's got that old ball-and-chain
look in her eye.

Well, so long.

Well, I gotta hand it to you, Cupid, kid.

But I still say you're a meddler.

And he who meddles
will get caught in his own trap.

Bugs boy, have I got a surprise for you.

A continental beauty
who's just crazy to meet you.

What are we waiting for?

Meet Millie.


Who, me?

Who else, glamour puss?

Give to me large kiss.

I like this way you are kissing.

Well, close your eyes and I
kissing you again.

Oh, he's wanting to play
seek and go hide.

Seek and go hide,
go hide and go seeking.

I'm seeking for you,
you're hiding for me.

Where are you, my little bunny?

All right, big boy,
give me a large bunny hug.

Wait a cotton-picking minute.

Women don't chase men in America.

Oh, brother.

First, there's a long courtship.

It starts like this:

How do you do?

How do you do?

Courtship is over,
now we make marriage.

Name the wedding day
and we will be marriage.

I hate long engagements.

- What's say we elope?
- I'm with you.

- Ladies first.
- How nice.


Open the door, I say! Let me in!

Wake up, doc. Wake up.
Uncle Jud's at the door.

- Huh?
- Here, quick, slip into this bathrobe.

I'm coming, Uncle Jud.


I don't like you.

But you I like.

- Give to me large kiss.
- Oh, no.




Ain't I the little matchmaker though?

Lovely view, is it not?

Come, darling,
this thing is bigger than we are.

We must fight it no longer.

If you have not tried it, do not knock it.

That's great advice.

Wow, I like it, I like it.

Tonight we present a pictorial review...

...of some of the well-known holidays
of the year.

First, we welcome
the little New Year.

Say, he's a cute little fella,
isn 't he?

Hey, little man. Can 't you
say something to the folks here?

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

February 14th, Saint Valentine's Day,
the sweethearts ' holiday.

Hi there, Tommy.
Will you be my valentine?

Will you, huh? Will you?

Oh, my darling.
This is so sudden.

I don't know how to say it,
but you're so tender, so lovable.

Your eyes are blue, limpid pools.

Hey there. Just a minute.
You're a little crossed-up, aren 't you?

Don 't you realize this is leap year?

my darling. This is so sudden. That it is.

You're so sweet, so tender,
so lovable.

And this is so silly,
don't you think?

February 22nd,
Washington 's birthday...

...which brings to mind the story
of young George and the cherry tree.


George, my son,
thou tellest me the truth.

As man to man, didst thou
chop down yon cherry tree?

Didst thou?

Mm... Couldst be.

March 19th, Arbor Day.

This day has been set aside
for the planting of new trees.

Over to the left. Little more.

Down. Up a little now.
Over to your right.

Just a bit. More. More.

There, that's it. Right there.
That's okay.

March 24th, Easter. Here is
the Easter bunny hiding Easter eggs...

...for all the good little
boys and girls.

But wait. All is not well.

A villainous fox closes in
on his unsuspecting victim...

...in an attempt to satisfy
his ravenous hunger.

Hey, Mr. Easter Bunny,
have you got one for me too?

April 1st, known as
April Fool's Day.

Now, here is a....

April Fool. Fooled you, fooled you!
There ain 't no picture!

May 12th, Mother's Day.

Here is a sweet little mother patiently
awaiting the return of her long-lost son...

...whom she hasn 't seen in 22 years.

Listen. Footsteps.

He hasn 't forgotten his dear old mother
in all these years.

What a joyous reunion this will be.

Hello, Ma.

Hello, son.

Bye, Ma.

Bye, son.

June. The graduation month for students
throughout the land.

We're just in time to witness
the presentation of diplomas...

...to the hopeful graduates.

Now, McGee...

...since you have been chosen
the student most likely to succeed...

...it gives me great pleasure...

...to present you with this diploma.

You are now equipped
to take your place in society.

Good luck, McGee.

Take it easy, McGee.

October 31st, Halloween.

Symbolic of Halloween is the old witch
riding her broom across the sky.

Here she comes now.

Thanksgiving, turkey day and a day
of feasting throughout the land.

When everyone has
a turkey for dinner.

Thank you...

And thank you
for this lovely turkey.

Turkey? What am I saying?

December 25th, Christmas.

Everything's so peaceful,
so beautiful...

...as all await the arrival
of old St. Nick.

Listen. Sleigh bells.

Why, it's good old Santy.

The end of the old year and
the beginning of the new is celebrated...

...in Pasadena, California with
the annual Tournament of Roses parade.

Here in gorgeous Technicolor, we show
you a few of the prize-winning floats.

This is the beautiful entry
from Santa Barbara.

Popular with the kiddies is the float
from the Encino Chamber of Commerce.

The entry from the state of California
is also very popular.

Quatorze gazelle, check.

Vingt-six giraffe, check.

Douze camels, check.

Quatorze lions, check.
Trieze elephants, check.

Six chimps ?lys?es, check.

Deux raccoons, check.

Une skunk avec le smell remove
de moi.

Oui, oui, oui.

Be quiet!

Quel est le skunk sans pew?

No can locate-ez vous skunk,
Monsieur le Directeur.

- Le what?
- Le what?

I am frustrate, monsieur.
I try, I try.

Oh, ho.

Un skunk sans pew
coming right up-ez vous.

No le move, Mademoiselle Kitty,
s 'il vous pla?t.

No le hurt.

Leaping lizards! Le pew!

Flattering, yes?


Un skunk sans pew.
Seem-ez vous just like the real thing.

Holy smoke!
Quel is le real thing.

Un skunk sans pew,
Monsieur le Directeur.

For me?

Le yipe.

Hello, ch?rie.

And now, my little
"no-blige" of "obl-esse"...

...we shall make together
the "drama-melo."

Ah, the birth of a notion.

The grand illusion.

This small romantic pigeon...

...she seeks a more appropriate setting
for our romance.

How sweet. How tout de suite.

Ah. The sentimental one.

She's wished to play
Juleo and Romiet.

Juleo, Juleo. Herefore art me, Romiet.

My little much ado about something.

My little lost labor's love.

Print that.

Where are you, pink rabbit?

I am ready to find you.

Le quiet. Le quiet. Le quiet!

Lights, camera, roll-ez vous, Sam.

Le yike.

You can come out now, darling.

They are all gone.

The best things of life
are worth waiting for.

That picture stink.

Popcorn, darling?

Le bow-wow-wow. Le bow. Le wow.

Le rowr-rowr.

I screech to you, Miss Jungle Love.

I am the daring young flea
on the manly trapeze, no?

All right, darling.
Enough is becoming enough.

Let us proceed. Darling!

What is this?
The stripe, it washes off.

It is gone. The small one,
she is not a skunk at all.

If you cannot beat them, join them.

Wait for Pep?!