Boy bastos (2022) - full transcript
Felix is a horny young man who meets an alluring woman that will live at his house and teach him Sex 101.
- People with righteousness…
- People with righteousness…
- ...and Your poor with justice.
- Your poor with justice.
Do you know what this means?
Or did you just memorize it?
No, we're trying to.
Alright, thirdly--
The mountains
- will bring peace to the people--
- Hey!
You asshole, what are you doing?
Stop bothering me.
What is this?
This is written on the third psalm.
You're just now hearing about it.
The number--
Look at this!
What the hell have you been doing?
Hey! Hey!
Hey! Don’t!
Look at this guy!
- Hey!
- Stop!
What is this?
- Now, we have four psalms…
- Let me see!
Don’t!
What is this?
Who owns this?
You're dead, moron!
What vile creation is this?
This is Felix.
The hero of this story.
How did things come to this?
Let's back up a few tracks.
As they say,
Sigmund Freud was the first horny bastard.
and Felix Bakat is at the 'Phallic Stage'.
Sensitivity now becomes concentrated
in the genitals,
and masturbation in both sexes
becomes a new sense of pleasure.
The child becomes aware
of anatomical sex differences
which sets in motion
conflict between erotic attraction,
resentment,
rivalry,
jealousy,
and fear.
It's a lot to chew on, huh?
Basically, all that shit just means
that Felix's sex drive is in full gear
at this stage of his life.
Relax!
Don’t be so quick to judge him.
It's natural to be curious about
your own sexual desires.
Raise your hand
if you've never been horny.
Remember back when
there wasn't a lot of options
to jack off to?
This is the Worthless Legend
of Boy Sleazy!
I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
- Change the channel!
- There, right there! Is that a boob?
How is that a boob?
Those are cookies!
Change the channel
so we can see it better!
Then change it again,
maybe it'll clear up.
- Is that it?
- Let's just watch some stupid TV series.
We know
they'll end up smooching
each other anyway.
Let's just watch out
for the naughty bits.
What the hell even
is "Jaks Abang"?
This is what horny little squirts do
where they'd wait for anything
even remotely sensual
on whatever they’re watching.
- Watch out for the naughty parts. Game.
- Okay, okay.
There, hold it.
Nice!
Anyway,
as you can see,
teenage boys have zero standards.
You died, Jesus--
Shit, it's Jesus!
Lord, sorry. We’re very sorry.
I didn’t mean to
watch bold shows, Lord.
Also, I'm sure everyone's familiar
with this sound.
And while it's connecting,
you just pray hard
that no one would pick up the phone.
Not to mention getting a virus
from all the pop-up ads.
But if all you want is female eyecandy
to please your sexual desires,
nothing compares to the real thing.
Come on. Let’s do this.
Pull me. Pull me!
Wait, wait a sec.
Are we sure we're going to do this?
You can do it, Garfield!
- You go first, come on!
- Why me?
- Felix, you go!
- I don’t want to!
- Fine, I'll do it! I'll do it!
- Alright, you go!
- I don't want to!
- Hey!
The question is, can they handle
the real thing?
Lord, we’re really very sorry...
Come here!
Hurry!
Did you get it?
Shit.
Bro, the cashier was glaring at me!
So did you get it?!
Are you that horny? Relax!
Ah, it's still going! Lord, sorry!
There!
- Bring them out!
- Check these out.
Viva Hot Babes…
- Viva Hot Babes…
- Here’s more, here’s more...
- Maui Taylor!
- Here, Scorpio Nights.
And this is the best!
Hentai!
Hentai,
for those who don't know,
is basically Japanese porn expressed
through 2D animation.
Cartoons?
Bro,
Trust me, this ain't your typical cartoons.
- Just put it on.
- Put it on.
You’ll like it.
Felix never knew
a world like this existed.
What rock was he living under
during his adolescent years?
And because of this,
Felix discovered his uncanny
talent for drawing.
Still, you be the judge
if such talents
are better put to good use
with the right mind,
than making sexually-charged
pieces of art.
Whose is this? Who drew this?
Tell me!
Felix Bakat Cabahug!
You disgusting child!
Do you use those hands to pray?
Alright, quiet! Quiet!
You need Jesus in your heart!
Boy Sleazy!
That's what they should call you!
My goodness!
Lord God!
This kind of thing is what
you pick up on Friendster!
Why did you guys have
to pass it around like that?
Well,
I didn’t know someone
would throw it at Sister.
Tell me this.
Why the hell
were you drawing her?
I just got so sick of her face.
It's freaking stupid.
So instead of looking at it,
I just drew her instead.
I love that you gave
Sister Candelario a banging bod.
Why are you guys picking on me?
I'm getting stressed out.
She wants me to write the Bible
in handwritten form!
To 'cleanse the filth' off me.
Well, she's not wrong.
Wait a minute.
Are you guys done with your circuit board
assignment for Sir Labayen?
Oh, shit! I haven't started.
When is it due again?
That's due tomorrow, man!
- Holy shit! It's for tomorrow?
- Shit! Yeah!
Yes!
What a hassle!
You know the problem with this school?
They make the minor subjects as heavy
as the major subjects!
Damn right.
Religious Ed?
- Our course is Engineering!
- Yeah!
The hell they want us to do,
recreate The Tower of David?!
Well, of course,
they need to show that
Saint Theresita Academy
of Education is as Catholic as can be.
- Yeah!
- And do you know why.
- Yeah!
- our tuition fees keep climbing up?
- Yeah!
- It's because
they're planning to build a skating rink
- in the gymnasium!
- Yeah!
You keep saying 'yeah',
Yeah. yeah!
Is that all you can say?
Yeah--
- Bro.
- Asshole.
- Bro!
- What?
What is it?
Bro, look who it is.
Hey! That’s--
Is that Nikita from Nursing?
Yeah, that's Ponty!
Look.
Look at that fat-to-breast ratio!
Perfect!
That!
That is art!
Wait, is that why
she's named Nikita Ponty?
Because her boobs look like
they're pointing at you?
Does that even matter?
And you with your ratio bullshit.
Well, when you're drawing
all that hentai shit--
Don't you think about
the ratio and the proportion of bodies?
- Yeah, that's what I thought!
- Bro!
- Is that your friend?
- Who?
Do I look like I have friends
aside from you two idiots?
Hey, hey!
Bro, someone's coming!
Are those your friends?
What do you mean someone's coming over?
Someone's coming over, man!
- Huh? What?
- What do you want?
We’re so sorry!
Very sorry!
Sorry!
Is Nikita your girlfriend?
Sorry about that,
- Her boobs, they look great!
- Bro, what the heck!
Why did I say 'boobs'?
You're so lucky you get to play
with it whenever you want!
The hell is wrong with you?!
Are you the guy they call 'Boy Sleazy'?
What do you mean 'sleazy'?
Something wrong?
You can call me whatever you want, man!
I'm just messing with you!
I was kidding!
Alright, sit your asses down.
He said sit down.
You all are getting too loud.
I got something to say.
Were you the one who drew a hentai version
of Sister Candelario?
How did that news travel so fast?
Right?
Ah...
Ah...
Yes, he is.
Draw me one.
You?
Not me, you moron!
My crush!
- Wow, she's pretty!
- Right?
Shut the hell up!
Sorry, sorry.
Draw it!
How are you gonna draw it if you just
keep staring at it?
Well?
Come on.
I want to go home to my mom!
Hurry, hurry!
Hey, hey.
Yeah, look at that face!
All together now--
"Yamete!"
"Yamete!" say it!
"Yamete!"
- Say, “Yamete!’
- Yamete!
That’s why you don’t lose weight!
All you talk about is food.
You’re such a prick.
Nah, nah. Want to go play Counter Strike
later at the Global Café?
Counter Strike?
Yeah, why not?
Bro, can't we play Battle Realms
instead or Ragnarok Online?
Something different for once.
Don't you need a load card
and DSL for that?
No need! You want faster speed?
- Of course!
- Then play at night!
Even if I'm not on DSL?
Yeah, so long as no one's using the phone.
And no one's supposed to pick it up
since everyone's pretty much asleep.
Right!
Wait a sec--
Felix!
You may think our hero does
nothing but get himself off,
- but Boy Sleazy's a lover boy.
- Hi GG!
Hi, Cathy.
Wait a sec.
Let me cut into this story real quick.
Who's this Cathy and why does Felix
look less than thrilled
to be her boyfriend?
Cue explanation!
Maria Catolico, or Cathy.
Interior Design.
Favorite Books--
Bible, and Sweet Valley High.
She was in church one time
and asked God to find The One.
A sinful being
that she means to save
and bring to the 'Right Path',
then eventually be her boyfriend.
As luck would have it,
Felix was there, too--
the sinful human
she was looking for.
She had him pegged
for the person.
God gave to her,
so she calls him GG
or God's Gift.
GG, don't tell me you forgot!
Ah...
Ah...
Is it our monthsary again?
It's my birthday next, next week.
Didn't we talk about this?
Ah!
Happy birthday…
for next, next week.
Didn't we agree
that we would have sex?
Are you sure about this?
Isn't that a sin against God?
Thanks for thinking about my faith
but I already asked Him for permission.
What did He say?
You know that's not how He works!
Don't worry about it!
This is God's Plan!
Alright, sure.
He might strike me down
with lightning if I refuse.
I really love you, Felix!
I gotta go, GG, my ride's here!
Praying for you always!
I will save you!
Bye!
Bye, Cathy.
Bro.
Oh, I didn't notice you two.
What?
Are you gay?
Just admit it,
there's nothing wrong with it.
It's totally cool, bro. Come on!
There's nothing wrong with being gay!
If you want hotdogs,
it's fine if you're gay!
But I hope you don't
RSJ our dicks!
RSJ.
Recall Sabay Jakol. (Think about someone
then jack off to the mental image)
I told you,
I'm not gay!
Then why don't you want to do Cathy?
Bro,
your girl already made the first move.
You just gotta hit it.
Right!
It's not like that!
I like Cathy,
but…
- But?
- But what?
If this gets out, I will tell people
you two made out with tongue!
Yeah, yeah!
I'm a virgin.
What?
Virgin.
Vivamax's viewers.
Same.
Me, too.
I thought you already did it, Layno?
We just made out,
and it was with my cousin.
- Eww!
- What?
Insex!
It's inchest, you idiot.
Yeah, inchest, that's what I said!
Wait I thought you said
Cathy wanted to do it?
You know what I think?
She just got pressured by
a classmate from her course.
Really?
Wait, wait, wait.
The real question is,
what does it feel like to have sex?
I think
it's better than jacking off.
You know guys,
my neighbor's friend
who's classmates with Leo said…
- You know fresh spring rolls?
- Yeah.
You get one of those,
and shove it right in!
Does it really have to be
a fresh spring roll?
And who the hell is Leo?!
You know, man,
if your peen is small, it’s fine.
You can definitely work
with the smaller version.
I'm not saying
I've tried it but--
Oh,
it’s here.
- Gotta go.
- "Pull over!"
You're a mama's boy.
Garfield, son, hop on!
- Hi Felix, hi Layno!
- Hello ma'am!
Hello, auntie!
Don't you wish you had your own ride?
- Alright.
- Bye!
- Take care, bro!
- You guys, too!
Take care!
Bro.
Garfield's mom's hot, isn't she?
You think she's single?
Bro, what the hell!
You think you can just
talk like that about anyone?
I was just asking, man!
You make it sound like
I'm a bad person!
Get a hold of yourself, man,
- that's Garfield's mom!
- You're too hard on me!
- Don't be gross!
- Alright, shut up.
My ride is here. There’s my cousin.
Take care.
- Layno! Let's go!
- Hey!
- Take care, yeah?
- Sure!
Cuz, I missed you!
You should've driven me to school!
Cellphone, cellphone, cellphone!
Downloads! Get your downloads here!
Sir! Cellphone!
Downloads! Movies, we got
a lot of them here!
Oh.
What do you need?
Can I play them on here?
Yeah, no problem! What kind of movies
do you like? I can get you sex scandals.
Scandal? Yuck! What a pervert!
Hey, shithead.
Cellphone, cellphone, cellphone!
Downloads! Get your downloads here!
- What do you have?
- Oh, good, you're back!
We have a new one.
Sex scandals from FEU.
Sex scandals from FEU.
Atenito Scandal!
Desalsal Scandal!
And our newest one, the Literans Scandal--
you'll drown in pussy in that one.
Do you have any from STAE?
STAE.
STAE...
No, we don't, sorry.
We get lots of requests actually but
most of the students there are religious…
So you know,
I guess they don't want
to get found out.
But maybe you know something?
Help us stock up. Maybe
you could give me a copy?
I don’t have one either!
But… this one.
I'll take one of these.
Really? Which one? Which one?
Choose one.
Here, there's so many pussies in this one.
Just… everywhere!
I'll take it all, all of it.
All of it?
Put it on the phone, alright?
Sure, sure, no problem!
I'll give you a discount!
Son of a bitch.
Welcome to Felix's Kingdom.
He lives alone here and is free
to do whatever he wants.
He's used to it.
But it wouldn't be so bad to have company,
aside from his own thoughts and feelings.
He's been used to this sort of
independence at a young age.
Ever heard of fresh spring rolls?
You get one of those,
and shove it right in!
Felix!
Hi, Felix!
- My god, the traffic!
- Auntie!
- What?
- What are you doing here?
- You're home early!
- Wow, you made fresh spring rolls!
Hey, your mom.
She’s late with your allowance again.
Auntie, what are you doing here?
Didn't your mom tell you?
Ah, jeez.
Your mom probably has Alzheimer's.
She has this friend in Japan
whose kid is coming tomorrow.
Who? Uncle Levi?
No,
it's a woman!
Anyway, their kid is coming to work here.
So, to make things more convenient for her,
she'll be living with us
here in the meantime.
Anyway, that’s a good plan I guess.
She won’t have a hard time anymore.
Besides,
she'll only be here for
three months or something.
Gosh, I'm tired.
You know what, I'm starving.
Let's eat!
Auntie! Wait, not yet!
What do you mean 'not yet?'
Hello?
Fresh spring rolls taste best when
you eat them immediately!
Thank you.
Hey, what are you doing,
I'm starving here!
Slightly sweet
with a tang of bitterness!
But it's so good!
What's your sauce recipe?
- Try it!
- I don't want any.
- Try it, it's good!
- I don't want it.
- No, seriously, try it!
- I'm good.
- Just once!
- I don't want it.
Whatever, then. You're missing out.
Give me that!
Give it!
Snatcher!
Hey!
- Shame on you!
- Ouch!
Hey! Wait a minute, miss!
I'm not the snatcher, he is!
This is the snatcher!
Why the hell did you hit me?
I don't even know her!
It's wrong to hit a girl
so I'm hitting you instead!
Miss! Miss, I'll do it!
Sorry, sorry!
Snatcher!
Sorry, sorry, sorry!
Ouch!
That hurt!
Hey!
Yo, what happened to you?!
You look like you went swimming!
Layno, is that you?
You asshole!
You won’t believe this.
- A while ago, at the jeep terminal,
- Yeah?
Wait--am I on time? Am I late?
Nah, you're fine,
here have some water.
Bro, the prof's a no-show!
Yes. Good.
Right!
Class, class, quiet!
Good day to you!
Unfortunately,
your professor for Biology 101
won't be able to come.
- Yes!
- Yes!
He got into an accident.
That’s dark.
Okay?
But don't worry
- because...
- Sorry.
we got you a part-time teacher!
She'll teach you guys while Mr. Gallon
is recuperating, understood?
Yes, sir!
Let's give her a warm welcome!
Here she is!
- Ms. Katey Quinto.
- Good afternoon, class!
Sir, sorry I was late today!
- Sorry.
- Are you alright?
Yeah, I just had some trouble
earlier in the morning.
- But I'm fine, I can manage. Thank you.
- Good, good.
Okay.
Can I expect you guys to be
on your best behavior?
Yes, sir!
Yes sir! Yes sir!
Quiet! This is not a noontime show.
Here's the classroom setup.
I'll leave it to you then!
Good afternoon, class.
Dang, the new teacher's legit, huh?
I hope Mr. Gallon never comes back.
He always has gout anyway.
You said it. I think Bio's my new
favorite minor subject!
Her jacket looks familiar, though!
Don't you have a jacket like that, Felix?
"Genesis 2:24"
That is why a man
leaves his father and mother
and is united to his wife,
and they become one flesh.
Guys, Cathy messaged me again.
I'm not sure what to do.
Did you try it with
the fresh spring rolls?
What position are you planning to do?
Missionary? Doggy style?
How do they make it look so easy?
Feels good, right?
Does it feel good?
Yes!
What do you want?
One more!
Who's your daddy?
Alfredo?!
You feel so good, Felix!
So good!
I will finish you, Eugene!
Felix!
Yes?
Felix, it's time to eat!
I'll be right down!
Come on, hurry up!
Why do you look like that?
You smell like bleach!
Did you do the laundry?
Why is there so much food, Auntie?
What's the occasion?
Did you forget?
Look, I made more spring rolls.
It seems to be your favorite!
And I prepared more food.
Remember, we have a visitor coming?
The one I told you will be staying with us?
Ah, who was it again?
She's here!
Wait a minute!
Hi!
- Hello, ma'am! Good evening.
- Hey, how are you?!
- Are you Katey?
- Yes, ma'am.
- Come in! Don't be shy! Come in!
- Yes, ma’am.
Your timing's perfect!
Why is she here?!
Come, don’t be shy now, come in!
I had to call you via landline because
my purse got snatched.
My wallet and phone
were in there, that's why-
Such hassle, shit!
Oh, I know, that's terrible!
You poor thing!
- The police said they’ll investigate--
- What will I do? What will I do?
Come here, sit down.
Let's eat!
Sorry about this...
this is all I could prepare!
I'm afraid it isn't much!
It looks more than enough, Auntie.
My god.
You poor thing. It's bad enough
you got robbed,
then some creep
put his hands all over you, too!
That filthy creep! God, you can't
trust anyone these days!
Your house looks great, Auntie!
Really, you like it?
You think it's beautiful?
This isn't mine, though...
it's my sister's! The one from Japan.
She's a friend of your mom, isn't she?
And she has a son
living here with me.
Ah, is that so?
Felix!
- Felix!
- Ouch!
Get up from there.
What the hell are you doing?
Give us a second.
Auntie, I'm taking care
of a cockroach down here.
I just killed it so
it won't creep up on anyone.
What?
Crawl! So it won't crawl on things!
- There's a cockroach? Let me help you!
- No need, Auntie!
I can take care of it!
What is taking so long?
Are you dissecting the cockroach?
Sorry about this.
Felix!
Sorry!
Shit!
Hi.
Sorry!
Do you two know each other?
You're not talking.
Hello, Felix.
Katey.
There, now you're introduced!
Felix.
This is Miss Katey Quinto!
She's going to be living
with us for a while
because she'll be working
as a substitute teacher at the--
Hey! You're in the same school!
She'll be at STAE!
Oh, I'm sure she's going
to be your teacher!
You may eat. What are you waiting for?
Let's eat! Don't be shy!
I cook well. The fresh spring rolls--
Bye, Auntie!
- Felix and I will take care of things.
- Bye Auntie, take care!
Please take care!
Your room's ready, alright?
Thanks, Auntie!
My cab's here. Bye!
Let me help you with your bag.
Hello?
Hello, who's this?
It's Tep-tep!
Ah, Tep-tep!
Is your brother home?
My brother?
Yes!
Alright, let me go get him.
Bro! It's for you!
Who the hell is calling?
May I know who this is?
It's Felix, his friend!
It's your friend Felix!
Garf! Garf!
Garfield, where is it?
Hey, what's up, man?
Dude, I gotta tell you something!
This morning, I saw
a woman at the station.
Yeah, Ma! It's somewhere in the back!
And then?
Then in our Bio class,
that teacher that came--
Hello?
Hello? Garf?
Hello!
Can we talk?
Huh?
Okay.
First off,
- at that station--
- I said I was sorry!
Was I wrong to cover up your--
My boobs?
I was going to say sorry
for slapping you.
It's instinctual.
Still, thanks for lending me your jacket.
Here.
Thank you.
But it's still your fault that the snatcher
got away with my phone!
I saved for months to get that!
Sorry, ma’am.
Can we strike a deal?
What kind of deal?
By the way, thanks for letting me
stay here at your house.
But could you please not tell anyone, even
your friends, that I'm staying with you?
Because?
Because it's awkward!
And I can't have any more distractions
or obstacles from doing
my job as a substitute teacher.
So I don't have time
to spare for your friends,
or you! No offense.
Okay, Ma'am Katey.
Don't call me "ma'am" inside the house.
Katey is fine.
Okay, Katey.
And in school,
we don't know each other, got it?
Your classmates and professors have been
warning me about you.
It seems you have a reputation
for being a creep.
A creep?! That's not true!
- That's them saying nasty shit about me--
- Oops!
- No, listen--
- Oops!
The bell's ringing!
Class dismissed!
That's all I ask, okay?
This is what's best for everyone.
What's in it for me?
I can tell Auntie or your mom.
Don't be like that.
See ya!
What a poser.
What was that?
Nothing, ma'am.
Goodnight.
Yeah, that's what I thought!
Damn, it would have
been the perfect setup.
But instead of an angel,
the devil sent one of his lackeys.
Felix.
Miss Katey?
Sorry about earlier.
I think I've been too harsh on you.
I know how you look at me…
and I feel the same.
So…
Hello!
La la...
La la la la...
La la la la...
Hello!
So...
let's begin our private lessons!
Private lesson?!
Hard quiz?
Or oral exam?
Ma'am, I didn't study!
Ma'am, I didn't get to study…
You know,
some doctors believe that
your testosterone level
is the highest in the morning
after a boy or a man wakes up.
The increase in this hormonal alone
may be enough to cause an erection
even without physical stimulation.
So that looks about normal.
Let your morning glory bask in the sun!
Be proud!
- Wow, you're the one who's mad?
- Don't look!
- Pervert!
- You’re the guy here.
Felix, remember what we talked about!
What?
We don't know each other at school!
Yeah, whatever!
Boob!
- Wow, it's Miss Katey!
- Shit! She’s gorgeous!
I wish I was in her class!
Maybe I should try that.
Come on, let’s go to class.
What's wrong with you, man?
- Hey.
- What happened to you?
- Garfield! Layno!
- What?
I've got something to tell you!
What is it?
At our house, there’s this--
- There’s what?
- What?
Look, it's Miss Katey!
- Miss Katey!
- Hello, ma'am!
What were you saying?
There’s?
There’s what?
There was a cockroach.
- You got me hyped up for a cockroach?
- What's with the cockroach, dude?
Yeah, so what?
It's a giant pest!
Pest?
- Come on, dumbass.
- Let’s go.
Tell us more about this cockroach.
Seriously?
Haven't they seen a woman before?
Subtransl.ed balloumowgly
You know what,
I noticed that you don't like
Miss Katey that much.
It's not that.
But...
why are you guys so smitten by her?
Really?
Boy Sleazy, is that really you?!
Asshole.
Dude,
she's really pretty.
Besides,
in our Engineering class, it's rare
to find a hot classmate!
But this one!
She's a teacher!
Right!
With her here, we can get
some Vitamin She!
Think about it!
I have a feeling she's not
as nice as you all think.
Your dislike of her is really something.
Good afternoon, class!
Good afternoon, ma'am!
Easy with the honorifics, you guys!
I'm only 27!
Wow!
Thank you!
There's flowers, too!
I really appreciate the gesture.
I'm very flattered. But I want
to remind you guys
that I am your teacher,
and we are here to learn.
- Right?
- Yes!
I know that your Biology class is just
a minor subject, but...
I hope that we can get along,
that you'll pass the subject,
and I'll get a good evaluation,
because I'm taking the Licensure
Examination for Teachers soon.
This way,
- everyone's happy!
- Yes! Happy!
You.
Mr. Frowny Face.
I'm smiling.
Are you with us?
Give us a smile, then!
What an asshole!
There we go! We should always
be happy, right, class?
- Yes, ma'am!
- Yes, ma'am!
Okay, so let's get started.
And as Sir Gallon instructed,
we will have a surprise quiz!
I don’t' want this anymore!
Ma'am, we haven't reviewed!
Get one and pass!
Okay, class!
So, like I said--
yes, Mr. Layno? Like I said--
are you taking down notes?
- Yes!
- Yes!
Very good! I love students
who pay attention!
Sorry, I was gone for a while.
Did you miss me?
Where were we?
Felix thought that once
Katey's in the house,
This girl is so messy!
he would finally get
a piece of heaven on earth!
What’s Miss Katey’s perfume?
How long are you going to be there?
That stinks!
What do you think is her bra size?
Are those yours, Auntie?
Of course!
I'm a 34D, you know!
I found Ma’am Katey’s Frienster account!
Felix did try to get along with Katey.
Is she still single?
Hey, hey! That’s mine!
That’s mine!
Hello?
Mr. Cabahug!
Can we talk?
Huh?
Can we talk?
What for?
About your assignment.
What assignment?
- The one on Human Thermal Expansion?
- What?
Why is she talking to Boy Sleazy?
Just follow me.
Assignment? Did she say
it's about an assignment?
Maybe she told him he failed it.
Felix?
Where are they going?
What assignment were
you talking about?
Let me borrow your phone.
Why?
Can't you call on yours?
Right, I forgot.
Sorry, sorry--here.
This won't take long.
Who are you texting anyway?
No one.
Just a friend.
Don't you have somewhere to go later?
Later?
Yeah, it's the weekend.
Why?
You're not going out?
Are we going out?
Nope.
There, I deleted the message and
told them I borrowed a phone.
Anyway, I'm off to the faculty room.
Aren't we going home together after school?
You go ahead.
Because...
I'm meeting someone.
It's the weekend, remember?
Sure.
Well, guys?
Don't we have any weekend plans?
I'll pass. I'm broke.
You know, I think we can
crash at Jeps’ place
because he just got a Play Station 2
from his hostess mom in Japan!
- There's an idea!
- That's even more unlikely.
Last time we were there,
his aunt kept insinuating!
She said we ate so much,
She thinks we have no money!
Right!
Do I look like Layno?
Hey!
- Did I hit a nerve?
- Hey! You asshole!
- You were dragging my name!
- Felix!
- Oh my god.
- Here we go again
I just wanna eat my siomai in peace.
Felix, it's my birthday today!
God bless us all!
Oh, right, right! Happy birthday!
- Dude, it's her birthday.
- Happy birthday.
- Happy birthday. God bless you.
- Thank you!
Let's go?
- Lix, break a leg, yeah?
- Let’s go.
Make us virgins--
losers, proud!
Make us losers proud!
Wow.
So this is what a motel looks like.
It's nice.
Come on, let's start.
Huh?
Right now?
Okay, okay.
What are you doing?
Let's start with an opening prayer.
Yes, Lord God,
I'm offering this night to you,
let this serve as our sign of faith
and commitment to You. Amen.
Wait a minute, you're going a bit too fast!
Wait!
Is this really how this goes?
Let me guide you
and take you to the light.
Cathy did not expect, especially Felix,
that he would go soft.
I don't know, either.
What do you think that is,
a Family Computer?
But it's not getting hard!
You just gotta rub a little harder.
Just a little more.
Just a little bit! It's almost there.
What about this?
Ouch!
My arm hurts so much!
Maybe we should just stop!
We were almost there!
It was almost hard!
I'll make it up to you!
Cathy, I'll make it up to you!
I'll make it up to you!
I promise!
You swear?
I promise, I promise!
I guess Felix forgot
to awaken his holy spirit.
Hey!
Ma'am Katey!
Katey!
Hey! Careful, careful!
Slowly.
Hi, Felix!
Ouch!
Ouch!
Looks like you had fun this weekend!
I drank so much!
Wow, she's cursing.
You asshole!
You look like you went out, too.
Why do you look so sad?
What happened to you?
I met with my girlfriend a while ago.
Your girlfriend is a real person, right?
Of course she is! What do you think I am?
And then?
Then...
Nevermind!
You'll just laugh at me!
Promise!
I won't laugh!
Come on, just tell me!
So there...
- I met with my girlfriend...
- Okay.
And then we...
You what?
- Hey!
- What?
You swore you wouldn't judge me.
Whoa!
You had sex?!
What?
It's written all over your face!
Congrats! You had sex!
Don't pretend like you didn't want it!
That's the problem!
I couldn't...
I couldn't…
This is so embarrassing!
Let's just drop it.
You know, you already started it!
You're such a pain in the neck!
I couldn't… My thing didn't--
You didn't get hard?
Oh my god!
- It's your first time?
- What are you talking about?
It's not my first time…
It's your first time!
I know.
You're probably a virgin, aren't you!
- What?! No!
- You totally are!
Whatever, I don't know what
you're talking about!
Hah, virgin! Virgin!
Aw, the poor virgin!
Fine, I'm sorry. Don't tell me
you're going to cry.
Let's stop talking about it.
Just go rest or something!
I'm sorry.
Alright. Seriously,
what happened?
Serious talk, okay?
I don't know what happened, either.
I prepared for it, too, but then…
I don't know why
my dick didn't cooperate.
Listen here. Let me tell you…
Sex is more than
just a physical act
and response.
Like you said,
you prepared for it for a long time,
Then it goes to show
that your emotions
have something to do with it, too!
Do you love your girlfriend?
What's her name?
Cathy.
Her name's nice, isn't it? Just like--
just like mine!
Kidding.
Anyways.
If you really like the girl,
you shouldn't be stressed out!
Because if you're bothered about something
while you're trying to get it up,
you're not gonna get excited!
That’s really--
You're not gonna get it up!
Performance anxiety! It's very common.
Your eyes!
I'm trying to help you but
your eyes keep darting around!
I was looking up there!
Hey! Katey are you okay?
Move! Move!
You didn't even help me!
So… why did you drink so much?
Well, earlier,
I saw you on campus.
Someone picked you up.
What? You saw that?
Who was that?
Why do you sound so jealous?
- Whoa, get over yourself! As if!
- Why are you jealous?
Wow, take it easy. I was just asking!
Get over yourself.
I'm just asking!
That was Joel.
My boyfriend.
Your boyfriend's a real person, too?
You can't talk back at me,
I'm your teacher!
I haven't exactly
been telling the truth.
The reason why I'm teaching at STAE
is so I could be closer to him.
Then?
Why do you look so sad?
You look worse than me.
Katey, what's wrong with you.
I thought we were going to
focus on the licensure exam?
You sure your head's on the exam?
Or on him? Shit!
Graduate of Education,
but a dumbass!
So dumb!
Dumbass!
Dumbshit!
I'm being dumb, aren't I.
Now, you.
You'd better not cheat
on your girlfriend, alright?
Also...
Don't let your mistakes
define who you are!
Remember that!
Mistakes?
Yeah, mistakes!
They're part of growing up.
You don't need to bring that into adulthood
because those are just mistakes.
There.
Remember what I said!
I guess we're both losers today, huh.
Mister Cabahug!
This was the first time Felix and Katey
bonded over something.
They both felt really down that night,
but we all soon realize
that we all have bad days.
Hello?
Hello? Katey?
Katey? Is that you, Katey?
Hello?
Katey, I’m sorry.
Hello?
Hello?
Why, what happened?
I couldn't get it up.
- What?! You couldn't get it up?
- What?! You couldn't get it up?
Boy Sleazy!
- Draw me some hentai shit!
- You want some shit? What?
He said hentai!
Who is it this time?
You've got a lot of questions today!
This is the next commission!
My hands are a little shaky today,
just ask Livelo to do it.
That's because you jack off so much!
Why would I ask Livelo to draw it,
he might turn it into a robot!
Come on, I got you.
I'll pay you back!
He said he’ll pay you back!
We good?
Are you good?
Yeah!
- Bye!
- Bye!
Stop jacking off!
You’re such a pig,
you eat too much.
Hi GG!
Hi Cathy?
Cathy!
Why are you here?
Our prof in Economics didn't show up,
so I'm going to sit-in here for a bit!
Ma'am!
Wow,
that's your teacher?
She's pretty!
Hi, Felix's teacher!
Are you Cathy?
How did you know my name?
I saw it on your I.D.
Oh.
- Teacher--?
- Ma'am Katey.
Wow!
Our names sound the same!
- May I sit in with my GG, please?
- Sure!
I don't mind.
Thank you, ma'am!
Okay, class! So...
It's that moment when Felix wishes
the ground would just open up
and swallow him whole.
have well-developed endoplasmic...
Seated beside him is the woman he wants
to love but his peen doesn't respond to,
and in front of him
is the annoying woman
who's turning him on.
This is what I call.
The Venn Diagram of Arousal.
What was that?
What was it?
Why did he shout?
You asshole!
Did it feel good?
What happened to him?
Are you new here at STAE?
You're lucky because this is
a very prestigious
and religious university!
Ma'am Katey… Cathy…
Yes, it is.
Where do you live, ma'am?
- I live in--
- Ma'am Katey...
Is our class over?
Yes.
The students have come out
of the classroom.
GG!
Miss Katey's so cool! I wish
she was my teacher, too!
You're so lucky to have her
as your girlfriend.
She is so God-fearing.
- Thank you, ma'am!
- Hold this.
I think we need to take this off.
There.
And this, too.
There, see!
Your girlfriend's so pretty!
You look great together.
Alright,
I need to go to my next class.
- Enjoy!
- Bye, Ma’am!
Hey, GG!
I could really feel the holy spirit
inside you earlier.
Will you finally be able
to make it up to me?
I always keep my holy spirit
strong for you, you know that!
This is perfect, it's the Feast
of Mary Magdalene!
Let's do it in time for the Feast of the
Patron Saint of sexual intimacy!
Is that a real thing?
Of course! But on that night,
I want you
to worship no one but me!
Boy Sleazy! How’s the hentai of Ma’am Katey
that I asked you to draw?
Finish it or I will finish you.
- Felix?
- Yes, ma’am?
Can I borrow your phone?
Here you go, ma'am.
Stop with the "Ma'am".
This will be quick.
Hey!
I saw you a while ago!
You've got balls!
Oh, you saw that.
Just relax.
Isn't it awkward for you
to talk about those things?
About…
About 'dirty stuff'?
Come on. It's 2005!
And you lucked out with that Cathy!
She's gorgeous!
Just like me!
Kidding!
I'll have you know,
she made the first move.
Wow! You the man! So handsome!
You bet!
These two can't seem to catch a break!
Things were going so well,
but things just had to go south.
Aren't you going to answer it?
There's your phone.
Don't answer if anyone calls, alright?
Come with me.
Get dressed.
Right now?
Yeah. Hurry up!
What's going on? Is someone going to shoot?
Give me your phone.
Here you go.
Hey, why are you calling?
- I'm gonna run out of load!
- Be quiet!
This is just a drop call!
You won't get charged
if it hasn't been five seconds!
Who are you looking for?
Katey!
Don't!
Let it go.
Felix wanted to help,
but what could he do?
For the first time in his life,
we can actually see
the genuine concern he has for a girl,
with no ulterior motives whatsoever.
The hell?
What's up with her?
The hell do I know?
Maybe she's on her period.
Are you okay?
Turn that shit off!
I said no phones in class!
Or kept on Silent Mode!
Stop using your phone!
You're so noisy!
Shut up!
Don't you have any respect for me?
Here!
Here's your damn test papers!
I get it!
This is just a minor subject!
But none of us are going to move on
if all you give me are failing grades!
Haven't I taught you anything?
Am I not enough?
What else do I need to do?
I'm giving it my all here!
Take me seriously, guys!
It's so easy!
- It's so easy to be happy!
- Katey!
That's enough.
Hey!
Psst!
What happened to her?
Why did your phone have
to ring so loud?
She's still pretty even
when she's mad, isn't she?
Put that shit on Silent!
Sorry, Felix.
I brought my baggage to class.
Don't sweat it.
You know,
when I was younger,
my mom would bring me
to a lot of places
like this.
Mom went abroad afte
r she split up with my dad.
When she went away,
she said she planned to build
a big house for all of us.
But here I am
living there alone.
I guess we're the same.
Our parents weren't there
while we were growing up.
Every time I had a problem,
I would go to these kinds of places
just to...
let off some steam…
to think…
and to talk to the wind.
What do you want me to do?
- Talk to the wind?
- No!
Here.
Talk to him.
Tell him what you want to say.
I've made a lot of mistakes, Felix.
I'm scared they'll come back
to haunt me.
Didn't you tell me
to never let our mistakes
define who we are?
- When did I say that?
- When you were drunk!
Hello?
Is that you, Katey?
Joel?
We're over.
Pinky-sized dick!
Goodbye!
This asshole!
You're a dumbass, Joel!
You're the moron here, not me!
That asshole!
- Just let it all out!
- Did you see how ugly she was?
So ugly! Dumbass! You idiot!
That was my phone!
Shit!
Shit! Sorry!
Oh, sorry!
Oh my god, I didn't mean it!
Your phone!
What did you do?!
Oh my god, sorry!
I'll make it up to you, promise!
What are you going to do?
I'll give you a 1.0 grade in my class.
Promise.
The highest grade on everything!
- No way, are you kidding?
- All of the exams!
- You still have to study!
- All of the exams!
Your phone is an old model already.
Sorry!
This is the first time Felix
formed a bond with a woman
aside from his aunt and mother.
He felt like he could be himself
and feel genuinely happy
when he's with Katey.
That looks really good.
I gotta say, you're improved a lot!
You must be so inspired!
You seem happy!
Like you're in love with
the person you're drawing!
Yeah, right! "In love" my ass!
- That's our teacher, man!
- Is she really just that?
- Stop that “in love” bullshit.
- Hang on a second.
When's your rematch with Cathy?
Oh, right…
Woooo!
- Cabahug!
- Oh hey.
Are you done?
Take care of this, alright?
I might get in trouble again
if this gets out.
Give it to me, Felix!
Let go!
This is all mine! You stay back.
I don't want you to see.
Well done!
So, class!
Who can say
what is probably the most
misunderstood concept
in all of Science? Anyone?
Do you guys know?
- The largest living organism is?
- King Kong's cock?
Shithead!
You dumbass!
I'm not asking for the
smallest organism--
which is your thinking.
She basically said you have a small brain!
Serves you right, dumbass!
The largest living organism
is the honey fungus
found in the Oregon blue mountains.
Felix! Felix!
Look, they're passing around
your drawing again!
Hey, get that!
Get it!
You're not going to get it?
Hey!
Shit!
Class, what is this again?
Who did this?
Son of a--
You're in trouble again, Boy Sleazy!
The hell did you say?
Are you messing with him?
Dude, come on!
You asshole!
Mr. Cabahug.
Did you do this?
It’s good.
Huh?
What?
You know, class…
it's hard to get through life
if no one who believes in you.
So, even if Felix isn't
a bigshot artist just yet,
I'm going to believe in his talents.
I mean, look at this!
It's gorgeous!
Look at my boobs,
they're perfect!
Mr. Cabahug.
Once you're a well-known artist,
don't forget about us, alright?
Don't forget us!
Maybe next time you could
draw me with clothes on!
But I'm going to confiscate this.
As a remembrance
that I had a student that can become
a great artist in the future!
Wow, nice!
Way to go!
Go back to your seat, Mr. Cabahug.
You look happy!
Subtransl.ed balloumowgly
Auntie Feline?
Hey, Felix!
Come on, have some food.
Wow!
I didn't know you can cook!
- Of course! It's just bacon!
- Look at you.
You just got through a break up
but look at you!
- You can easily be a…
- A what?
A wife?
A mom!
Me? A mom?
Son, let's eat! We have bacon, eggs,
and hotdogs! Let's eat!
Thank you for...
saving me in class, by the way.
You had to go and cough up
that little speech for me.
You dummy, that wasn't fake,
I meant every word.
You know,
I think you should really hone your skills.
You're pretty amazing!
You really think so?
Yeah!
You're the only one who's ever said that.
Really? Why didn't you
take up Fine Arts?
Mom didn't want me to.
God, our parents keep poking
their nose in everything!
Jesus!
What about you?
Did your mom ask you to be a teacher?
Nope.
Actually, I had no idea
what I wanted to do back then.
But when my dad died, I wanted
to know him better.
He was a teacher, so, I wanted
to see what it's all about.
At first, I didn't really like it.
But slowly,
I realized, it's fun to be a teacher.
Knowing you can believe
in someone and inspire them,
even if it's just one person!
Annoying.
You know what,
this is the first time
I've seen you like this.
So passionate!
Really?
Actually,
I want to apologize because I didn't think
of opening up to you.
You're pretty cool.
Really.
Thanks for
believing in me.
Actually, thank you, Felix!
Come on, let's eat!
- Do you want a hotdog?
- I want a hotdog.
Now, this hotdog is huge,
so you're going to get full quickly.
Okay!
I’m the one who paid for the tricycle fare!
You’re unbelievable.
Felix, why the hell aren't you replying?
I brought some--
...fresh spring rolls.
Felix?
Ma'am Katey?
Ma’am Katey?
The gate was locked.
But these dimwits climb over the gate
and just let themselves in!
What the hell is going on, Felix?!
I already told you, didn't I?
Her mom and my mom--
Felix!
Felix!
You lied to us?
Huh?
You're live-in partners?
Everyone on Yahoo Groups
needs to know about this!
Hey, don’t!
- Come on man, don't do that!
- I need to log on YM!
Ma'am Katey!
Did he drug you?
Huh? Did he?
Now you know why I wanted
to keep this a secret!
He didn't drug me.
I was the one who told him
not to tell anyone else.
So stop being mad at Felix!
Goddamn it, Felix!
Huh?
- Why do you have all the luck, man?
- Yeah!
- I mean, you have a girlfriend!
- Yeah!
- And Ma'am Katey's staying with you…
- Yeah!
The hell is wrong with these two?
Are they toddlers?
Well, what do you expect from
a couple of virgins?
- Really?
- I have never seen a naked woman.
Aside from my mother.
- Gross!
- You're disgusting!
Do you really want to see?
Why, of course!
Sure, leave it to me.
Hi, everyone!
I’m Selena at your service!
Okay, I heard there are
a couple of virgins here!
No, I don't think so!
Are you the virgins?
Him! Him!
What do you mean me?
Are you sure?
My god, you're practically adults but
it's your first time in this place?
Don't worry! I'll take care of you!
I will make sure you will enjoy yourselves!
Throw that away! Throw it!
Throw it! Throw it!
It’s really sticky!
Why is there an umbrella?! What's it for?
Why is there a pitcher?
What don't you have in there?!
- Hi, boys! Are you having fun?
- Hi. Hello.
- I heard you were the virgins here!
- Huh?
Hi baby boy!
They're having fun!
- Cheers?
- Cheers, cheers!
Cheers!
Hold on.
- What, why?
- Who's going to pay for all this?
Ta-da!
Thanks to Garfield's mom!
For real?
You got that?!
Yeah, she handed
it to me earlier!
So just keep ordering!
Alright, I'm going to order some more!
- Cheers, cheers!
- Cheers!
Hey, what's the matter?
You know what, I know 70 ways
to make you happy.
70 ways, really?
Yep!
The first is
to hug you.
The rest…
is 69.
What do you mean 69?!
You're crazy!
I'm kidding! Man, you can't take a joke!
That was close, Felix!
Take it easy, my man.
How are you and Cathy?
Cathy?
We're going to try
for round two soon.
Nice!
Is your Holy Spirit ready?
That's the thing,
I'm scared I might
embarrass myself again.
I'm--
I'm scared it won't cooperate...
Your dick?
- Hey, watch your mouth.
- And why?
We're in a damn beerhouse!
Stop being so conscious!
You know what, that's your problem, Felix.
You can’t commit! You can't
even say the word 'dick'!
You gotta take control!
Take control?
Yeah!
- Take control!
- How?
I'll teach you!
You follow my lead.
Cheers!
Alright, are you ready?
Game! What are we doing?
Secret.
Just kidding!
- Alright, game!
- Okay, game!
- This is serious. No dumb jokes!
- Yeah, I'm serious!
Okay, here's what you do.
Close your eyes.
How's this?
Is this okay?
How about this?
You little twerp, hurry up!
Both eyes?
Of course! Stop being a dumbass!
- Okay, game!
- Breathe in.
Felix! Your holy spirit is so strong!
I'll give you holy spirit! Bend over!
Holy spirit! Holy spirit!
Oh, no, that tickles!
Breathe in! I did what you asked,
I breathed in!
Hey, take this seriously!
Wait! Wait a minute!
Can't we do an opening prayer first?!
What opening prayer?! This is it!
Breathe in…
Breathe out…
Follow her breathing,
time it with yours.
And focus on her voice.
Breathe in…
Breathe out…
Jesus Christ!
You are facing the girl
that you love so much.
Just relax.
Is this relaxed enough for you?
Very relaxed!
Can you feel it?
Can you imagine it?
Are you experiencing it?
Thank you, Lord!
I am
in
control.
You are in control, Felix! In control!
Our hero is rock hard right now.
As the kids say these days,
he's on beast mode.
Listen to me.
One...
Two...
I love you!
Three...
I love you, too!
Release!
I love you, Katey!
But while Adam ravaged Eve
with his sinful serpent,
he didn't realize he was going
to commit a greater sin.
Well? Well?
Did you feel--
So?
Well?!
Did you feel anything?
So?
Hey!
Katey!
What did you say?!
Cathy…
Katey!
Cathy!
Shit!
And this is where Felix
finally admitted to everything.
So there.
Cathy broke up with me.
I knew it.
You have feelings for Ma'am Katey.
You know, I'm not surprised.
I mean, they lived together.
Alright, class.
Garfield Ponce!
Perfect score!
Take that!
Heard that? Perfect! No mistakes!
Jorrel Layno--
you pass.
Hah, barely passed!
But I still did!
I didn't need a perfect score.
Congrats, congrats!
Thank you, you're such
a great teacher, ma'am!
Hey, hey, hey!
Sir Jess!
How are you feeling?
I'm good! I'm good, actually.
What about you? How are you doing?
Hopefully my students didn't
give you too much trouble.
A little, but nothing I can't handle, sir.
Class, please greet Sir Jess.
He is my mentor.
Sir Jess, you're still alive?
- Hi Sir Jess!
- No, I meant--
Yes, I'm very much alive, thank you!
Class, I have an announcement to make.
Miss Katey's time as the substitute teacher
is about to end,
and I will be coming back to work
in a few weeks.
Aww, you're leaving us, ma'am?
We'll miss you!
Class...
don't be sad!
Remember what I told you?
We should be happy.
Besides, I'll be doing
my licensure exam soon.
Who knows…
maybe next year you'd still be here.
Mr. Cabahug!
You're frowning again!
Just keep smiling.
Sir Jess, how are things?
The Faculty was pleased
with my performance, Auntie!
They thought I was all looks.
Oh my, that's great news, Katey!
So what’s next?
Where are you heading off
after your exams?
Hey, you're always welcome
to stay here, alright?
Oh Auntie, I wouldn't want to impose!
I might find my own place by then.
Actually, you'd have worn out your welcome.
Kidding!
No, I'm sure Felix's mom wouldn't mind.
My sister and your mom
are best friends, after all!
I'm just a little frustrated
with Felix here.
He still hasn't graduated!
Have you seen his drawings?
They're so good!
What?
You draw and you didn't even tell me?
You should have taken up Fine Arts!
You should draw me!
Hey.
Hold on, I have some good news!
I think...
Arcenio and I might be
getting back together again!
So, just stay here. I have
to check if he gave me a call!
- Excuse me!
- Go ahead, Auntie.
I heard
you broke up with Cathy?
I'm sorry…
I, ah...
I apologize, too,
for what happened the other night.
Felix,
please don't apologize because...
I was surprised, too.
Because...
I led you on.
And if we met under
different circumstances,
I'm sure I would have
liked you in that way, too.
But for now...
can we stay this way?
So, you're saying there's a chance?
I'm going to go get some water.
Here is our hero yet again,
restless, and sleepless.
If he hadn't messed around in school,
he probably would've graduated by now,
and he could be with Katey.
But if he did do well in school,
he wouldn't have been able to know
the woman who made him into a man.
STAE represent!
STAE represent!
Have you seen the STAE scandal?
I knew it!
I always knew something
wasn't right with Ms. Quinto!
Katey!
Felix, not now.
Felix!
Cathy.
Layno, where's Felix?
He's with me. He says
he wants to go home.
No, stop him!
At all costs. I'll be right there!
This looks good.
This is the first time
I've seen a shirt like this!
That ones's better.
Yeah, solid choice.
Guys, come on.
Wait, where? Where are we going?
Where do you want to go?
I need to go home, man,
I need to check on Katey.
- She's at the mall!
- That's right!
She's probably busy, and besides--
There's a photocopy service here,
they make good copies.
No, I'm sure she's home!
- Sir!
- Do you want to try the photocopy service?
What's your favorite
color on the stoplight?
- Sir! Sir!
- Mine is green.
- Dude, look! The stoplight's at green!
- Who is wrong?
- What's wrong?
- Sir, sir!
Sir I remember you! You're the one who
was looking for a scandal from STAE!
- So glad you're back.
- Scandal?
Dude, I think something's wrong
with my tummy!
- I'm shitting my pants!
- Come here, I'll play it for you!
Let's check it out, man!
Sir!
What did I tell you? It’s legit!
I heard this was
a teacher at STAE!
Well, boss? You want it
on your phone again?
Shut that off.
What?
Do you want a copy?
- Shut it off.
- Dude, my stomach really hurts!
- Why?
- Lix, that's enough.
- Dude, it hurts!
- Turn that shit off!
Hey, hey, hey!
I told you to turn that off, didn't I?!
Hey! Asshole!
My CPU!
You ass! Get out of here!
And when you're deep in love,
judgment has no place in your heart.
Arsenio is so silly.
He hasn't changed one bit.
But sis…
- Let's stop talking about Arsenio.
- Katey!
- how we're back to being Miss Photogenic--
- Katey!
Oh, it's Felix!
Felix!
Felix, come here!
Your mom's on the phone!
- Katey!
- Hey, Felix!
- What is up with this kid?
- Katey!
It's like he didn't even hear me!
Katey?!
Katey?!
No sign of Katey at all.
She just vanished
without a word.
Feline, that Katey--
Tanya's daughter?
- I can't believe she's such a sleaze.
- Oh god, yes.
So immoral! She has a scandal!
How could we have known, sis?
You're the one who asked me
to let her stay here with us.
What kind of woman is she?
Good thing she's gone
before I got home.
Could you have the
room cleaned, please?
Who knows what other
filth she left in there.
I'm surprised she didn't prey
on my poor boy!
She's a bad influence.
Where is Katey?
We finally have a STAE scandal!
Ma’am looks delicious!
He didn't know the first place to look,
or if she's even safe
while her video's going around.
She looks so yummy!
You want a sex scandal?
Get a load of that.
Felix was prepared
to face people's criticisms.
He was ready to humiliate himself to bury
Katey's scandal as all eyes turn on him.
So he made another STAE scandal.
However…
Mr. Cabahug!
Report to the Dean's Office.
Now!
Felix, Felix…
I know you.
You can do better than this, Felix.
You want to say something?
Nothing?
Maybe Miss Quinto's ways are
just rubbing off on you.
I heard she was living in your house.
How lucky!
Sir!
Katey has nothing to do with this!
“Katey?”
Wow, Sister!
I didn't realize you were
on a first-name basis!
Be thankful that you
only got suspended.
Unlike with Miss Quinto.
Unfortunately, they banned her
from entering the school premises,
and in case she passes
the Licensure Examination,
they'll make sure that
no school will ever accept her.
Sir, why don't you
just expel me instead?
She didn't even do that
while she's a teacher in STAE!
I am absolutely sure she wasn't the one
who uploaded that video!
Well, I'm so sorry to hear that.
She could have been a
great professor in our school.
But it is as they say,
she is a disgrace to this institution.
The only reason why
they didn't expel you is
because they believe
you're under the influence of--
what was it again, Sister?
Infatuation.
I'm sorry, but...
the Board has passed their decision.
It's final and irrevocable.
Let it go!
No one's going to watch your video anyway.
Just the gays!
It's a little slanted, sir,
let me just fix it.
A couple of days passed.
Katey still hadn't shown herself…
no one's heard from her…
She still hasn't come back.
Why does happiness slip away
right as we're about to grasp it?
So Felix drowned
his sorrows in alcohol.
He's used to being alone, anyway.
But deep inside,
he still held out hope.
Felix?
Katey?
Why did you disappear?
Where did you go?
Huh? Why did you leave?
Who spread that video?
Was it Joel?
Well?
Sorry, I didn't mean to make you worry.
But I really needed
some time to breathe.
A break from all the noise.
But I'm here now…
to say goodbye.
Wait--
goodbye?
Where are you going?
Take me with you!
Please!
There are just some things
I need to fix for myself.
Katey!
Don't leave me, please!
Please!
Boy Sleazy--
We both need to grow up.
Katey.
I'm so tired of being left behind!
I'm so tired of being
left behind, please!
I'm so tired!
Please!
When Felix woke up, he had a massive
headache from getting wasted.
Worse was the pain in his heart,
because that was the last time
he would ever see Katey.
Time passed and by some miracle,
our hero finally graduated!
And during that time,
people eventually forgot
his moniker "Boy Sleazy".
But that name would go on to be used
in so many places.
And there are things that
just can't be forgotten…
Like sweet memories,
the "what if's",
and things that will never happen.
Felix.
I really hope you can
move on from this.
- Babe, come on. Give me your bag.
- Thanks, babe!
- Do you like it?
- Your house is so nice!
- Auntie!
- Oh, hi!
Felix!
Auntie, how can I help you?
No, just relax.
Hey! Isn't your mom coming home tomorrow?
What time are you picking her up?
Around 3PM, Auntie.
Hang on, Auntie.
Work is calling.
- Aww, you're so sweet!
- I missed you, Auntie!
- Hand me the potatoes and the...
- Sure thing.
...pepper.
“I love your work! I want to commission
you for a piece.”
Hey, Garf!
- Hey, Felix!
- Hi Layno! I missed you guys!
Garf, Garf!
How are you? How's your wife?
We're doing great, and she's pregnant!
Twins again, I think!
Again?
I think you went a little overboad
with the PSL there!
P.S.L.
Putok Sa Loob
(to cum inside)
What about you, Layno?
I sure hope
you've gotten your cherry
popped on that ship!
Of course!
I met a hot crewmate!
Wait--
- Oh, hi!
- How are you, honey?
Hi!
Hi!
- Babe!
- Oh, babe!
Babe!
Guys, it's Catherine!
Oh, hi guys!
I miss you!
Hey, let's help Auntie prepare.
- Okay, okay…
- I'll catch you guys later, okay?
- Bye!
- Garfield, send my regards to Celina!
- Thanks so much!
- Bye!
Auntie, is the food ready yet?
Almost! Just waiting for the potatoes.
Is that going to be delicious?
Babe!
Put your phone down!
Give me a sec. I'm almost done.
What's so important?
Put that down.
Why,
what are we doing?
Playtime.
Huh? Play--isn't that for later?
But we've never had sex here
and I want us to do it.
- Right now?
- Yes, now.
If you say so.
- Love you.
- Love you.
Felix may have taken a different road,
but he realized that
no matter what hurt you,
there's always something to learn from it.
And if it continues to cause you pain,
more likely,
the lesson’s not yet done.
Because once in Boy Sleazy’s life,
he chose to be a lover boy instead.
Ouch!
Mr. Cabahug!
Once you're a well-known artist,
don't forget
about us, alright?
Boy Sleazy!
Why are you sad again?
Didn’t I say let’s just be happy?
And I know you're probably wondering
who I am and why I know a lot
about Boy Sleazy’s story.
Well...
I am Felix's other head!
Or the holy spirit.
I am Boy Sleazy's dick!
Subtransl.ed balloumowgly
- People with righteousness…
- ...and Your poor with justice.
- Your poor with justice.
Do you know what this means?
Or did you just memorize it?
No, we're trying to.
Alright, thirdly--
The mountains
- will bring peace to the people--
- Hey!
You asshole, what are you doing?
Stop bothering me.
What is this?
This is written on the third psalm.
You're just now hearing about it.
The number--
Look at this!
What the hell have you been doing?
Hey! Hey!
Hey! Don’t!
Look at this guy!
- Hey!
- Stop!
What is this?
- Now, we have four psalms…
- Let me see!
Don’t!
What is this?
Who owns this?
You're dead, moron!
What vile creation is this?
This is Felix.
The hero of this story.
How did things come to this?
Let's back up a few tracks.
As they say,
Sigmund Freud was the first horny bastard.
and Felix Bakat is at the 'Phallic Stage'.
Sensitivity now becomes concentrated
in the genitals,
and masturbation in both sexes
becomes a new sense of pleasure.
The child becomes aware
of anatomical sex differences
which sets in motion
conflict between erotic attraction,
resentment,
rivalry,
jealousy,
and fear.
It's a lot to chew on, huh?
Basically, all that shit just means
that Felix's sex drive is in full gear
at this stage of his life.
Relax!
Don’t be so quick to judge him.
It's natural to be curious about
your own sexual desires.
Raise your hand
if you've never been horny.
Remember back when
there wasn't a lot of options
to jack off to?
This is the Worthless Legend
of Boy Sleazy!
I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
- Change the channel!
- There, right there! Is that a boob?
How is that a boob?
Those are cookies!
Change the channel
so we can see it better!
Then change it again,
maybe it'll clear up.
- Is that it?
- Let's just watch some stupid TV series.
We know
they'll end up smooching
each other anyway.
Let's just watch out
for the naughty bits.
What the hell even
is "Jaks Abang"?
This is what horny little squirts do
where they'd wait for anything
even remotely sensual
on whatever they’re watching.
- Watch out for the naughty parts. Game.
- Okay, okay.
There, hold it.
Nice!
Anyway,
as you can see,
teenage boys have zero standards.
You died, Jesus--
Shit, it's Jesus!
Lord, sorry. We’re very sorry.
I didn’t mean to
watch bold shows, Lord.
Also, I'm sure everyone's familiar
with this sound.
And while it's connecting,
you just pray hard
that no one would pick up the phone.
Not to mention getting a virus
from all the pop-up ads.
But if all you want is female eyecandy
to please your sexual desires,
nothing compares to the real thing.
Come on. Let’s do this.
Pull me. Pull me!
Wait, wait a sec.
Are we sure we're going to do this?
You can do it, Garfield!
- You go first, come on!
- Why me?
- Felix, you go!
- I don’t want to!
- Fine, I'll do it! I'll do it!
- Alright, you go!
- I don't want to!
- Hey!
The question is, can they handle
the real thing?
Lord, we’re really very sorry...
Come here!
Hurry!
Did you get it?
Shit.
Bro, the cashier was glaring at me!
So did you get it?!
Are you that horny? Relax!
Ah, it's still going! Lord, sorry!
There!
- Bring them out!
- Check these out.
Viva Hot Babes…
- Viva Hot Babes…
- Here’s more, here’s more...
- Maui Taylor!
- Here, Scorpio Nights.
And this is the best!
Hentai!
Hentai,
for those who don't know,
is basically Japanese porn expressed
through 2D animation.
Cartoons?
Bro,
Trust me, this ain't your typical cartoons.
- Just put it on.
- Put it on.
You’ll like it.
Felix never knew
a world like this existed.
What rock was he living under
during his adolescent years?
And because of this,
Felix discovered his uncanny
talent for drawing.
Still, you be the judge
if such talents
are better put to good use
with the right mind,
than making sexually-charged
pieces of art.
Whose is this? Who drew this?
Tell me!
Felix Bakat Cabahug!
You disgusting child!
Do you use those hands to pray?
Alright, quiet! Quiet!
You need Jesus in your heart!
Boy Sleazy!
That's what they should call you!
My goodness!
Lord God!
This kind of thing is what
you pick up on Friendster!
Why did you guys have
to pass it around like that?
Well,
I didn’t know someone
would throw it at Sister.
Tell me this.
Why the hell
were you drawing her?
I just got so sick of her face.
It's freaking stupid.
So instead of looking at it,
I just drew her instead.
I love that you gave
Sister Candelario a banging bod.
Why are you guys picking on me?
I'm getting stressed out.
She wants me to write the Bible
in handwritten form!
To 'cleanse the filth' off me.
Well, she's not wrong.
Wait a minute.
Are you guys done with your circuit board
assignment for Sir Labayen?
Oh, shit! I haven't started.
When is it due again?
That's due tomorrow, man!
- Holy shit! It's for tomorrow?
- Shit! Yeah!
Yes!
What a hassle!
You know the problem with this school?
They make the minor subjects as heavy
as the major subjects!
Damn right.
Religious Ed?
- Our course is Engineering!
- Yeah!
The hell they want us to do,
recreate The Tower of David?!
Well, of course,
they need to show that
Saint Theresita Academy
of Education is as Catholic as can be.
- Yeah!
- And do you know why.
- Yeah!
- our tuition fees keep climbing up?
- Yeah!
- It's because
they're planning to build a skating rink
- in the gymnasium!
- Yeah!
You keep saying 'yeah',
Yeah. yeah!
Is that all you can say?
Yeah--
- Bro.
- Asshole.
- Bro!
- What?
What is it?
Bro, look who it is.
Hey! That’s--
Is that Nikita from Nursing?
Yeah, that's Ponty!
Look.
Look at that fat-to-breast ratio!
Perfect!
That!
That is art!
Wait, is that why
she's named Nikita Ponty?
Because her boobs look like
they're pointing at you?
Does that even matter?
And you with your ratio bullshit.
Well, when you're drawing
all that hentai shit--
Don't you think about
the ratio and the proportion of bodies?
- Yeah, that's what I thought!
- Bro!
- Is that your friend?
- Who?
Do I look like I have friends
aside from you two idiots?
Hey, hey!
Bro, someone's coming!
Are those your friends?
What do you mean someone's coming over?
Someone's coming over, man!
- Huh? What?
- What do you want?
We’re so sorry!
Very sorry!
Sorry!
Is Nikita your girlfriend?
Sorry about that,
- Her boobs, they look great!
- Bro, what the heck!
Why did I say 'boobs'?
You're so lucky you get to play
with it whenever you want!
The hell is wrong with you?!
Are you the guy they call 'Boy Sleazy'?
What do you mean 'sleazy'?
Something wrong?
You can call me whatever you want, man!
I'm just messing with you!
I was kidding!
Alright, sit your asses down.
He said sit down.
You all are getting too loud.
I got something to say.
Were you the one who drew a hentai version
of Sister Candelario?
How did that news travel so fast?
Right?
Ah...
Ah...
Yes, he is.
Draw me one.
You?
Not me, you moron!
My crush!
- Wow, she's pretty!
- Right?
Shut the hell up!
Sorry, sorry.
Draw it!
How are you gonna draw it if you just
keep staring at it?
Well?
Come on.
I want to go home to my mom!
Hurry, hurry!
Hey, hey.
Yeah, look at that face!
All together now--
"Yamete!"
"Yamete!" say it!
"Yamete!"
- Say, “Yamete!’
- Yamete!
That’s why you don’t lose weight!
All you talk about is food.
You’re such a prick.
Nah, nah. Want to go play Counter Strike
later at the Global Café?
Counter Strike?
Yeah, why not?
Bro, can't we play Battle Realms
instead or Ragnarok Online?
Something different for once.
Don't you need a load card
and DSL for that?
No need! You want faster speed?
- Of course!
- Then play at night!
Even if I'm not on DSL?
Yeah, so long as no one's using the phone.
And no one's supposed to pick it up
since everyone's pretty much asleep.
Right!
Wait a sec--
Felix!
You may think our hero does
nothing but get himself off,
- but Boy Sleazy's a lover boy.
- Hi GG!
Hi, Cathy.
Wait a sec.
Let me cut into this story real quick.
Who's this Cathy and why does Felix
look less than thrilled
to be her boyfriend?
Cue explanation!
Maria Catolico, or Cathy.
Interior Design.
Favorite Books--
Bible, and Sweet Valley High.
She was in church one time
and asked God to find The One.
A sinful being
that she means to save
and bring to the 'Right Path',
then eventually be her boyfriend.
As luck would have it,
Felix was there, too--
the sinful human
she was looking for.
She had him pegged
for the person.
God gave to her,
so she calls him GG
or God's Gift.
GG, don't tell me you forgot!
Ah...
Ah...
Is it our monthsary again?
It's my birthday next, next week.
Didn't we talk about this?
Ah!
Happy birthday…
for next, next week.
Didn't we agree
that we would have sex?
Are you sure about this?
Isn't that a sin against God?
Thanks for thinking about my faith
but I already asked Him for permission.
What did He say?
You know that's not how He works!
Don't worry about it!
This is God's Plan!
Alright, sure.
He might strike me down
with lightning if I refuse.
I really love you, Felix!
I gotta go, GG, my ride's here!
Praying for you always!
I will save you!
Bye!
Bye, Cathy.
Bro.
Oh, I didn't notice you two.
What?
Are you gay?
Just admit it,
there's nothing wrong with it.
It's totally cool, bro. Come on!
There's nothing wrong with being gay!
If you want hotdogs,
it's fine if you're gay!
But I hope you don't
RSJ our dicks!
RSJ.
Recall Sabay Jakol. (Think about someone
then jack off to the mental image)
I told you,
I'm not gay!
Then why don't you want to do Cathy?
Bro,
your girl already made the first move.
You just gotta hit it.
Right!
It's not like that!
I like Cathy,
but…
- But?
- But what?
If this gets out, I will tell people
you two made out with tongue!
Yeah, yeah!
I'm a virgin.
What?
Virgin.
Vivamax's viewers.
Same.
Me, too.
I thought you already did it, Layno?
We just made out,
and it was with my cousin.
- Eww!
- What?
Insex!
It's inchest, you idiot.
Yeah, inchest, that's what I said!
Wait I thought you said
Cathy wanted to do it?
You know what I think?
She just got pressured by
a classmate from her course.
Really?
Wait, wait, wait.
The real question is,
what does it feel like to have sex?
I think
it's better than jacking off.
You know guys,
my neighbor's friend
who's classmates with Leo said…
- You know fresh spring rolls?
- Yeah.
You get one of those,
and shove it right in!
Does it really have to be
a fresh spring roll?
And who the hell is Leo?!
You know, man,
if your peen is small, it’s fine.
You can definitely work
with the smaller version.
I'm not saying
I've tried it but--
Oh,
it’s here.
- Gotta go.
- "Pull over!"
You're a mama's boy.
Garfield, son, hop on!
- Hi Felix, hi Layno!
- Hello ma'am!
Hello, auntie!
Don't you wish you had your own ride?
- Alright.
- Bye!
- Take care, bro!
- You guys, too!
Take care!
Bro.
Garfield's mom's hot, isn't she?
You think she's single?
Bro, what the hell!
You think you can just
talk like that about anyone?
I was just asking, man!
You make it sound like
I'm a bad person!
Get a hold of yourself, man,
- that's Garfield's mom!
- You're too hard on me!
- Don't be gross!
- Alright, shut up.
My ride is here. There’s my cousin.
Take care.
- Layno! Let's go!
- Hey!
- Take care, yeah?
- Sure!
Cuz, I missed you!
You should've driven me to school!
Cellphone, cellphone, cellphone!
Downloads! Get your downloads here!
Sir! Cellphone!
Downloads! Movies, we got
a lot of them here!
Oh.
What do you need?
Can I play them on here?
Yeah, no problem! What kind of movies
do you like? I can get you sex scandals.
Scandal? Yuck! What a pervert!
Hey, shithead.
Cellphone, cellphone, cellphone!
Downloads! Get your downloads here!
- What do you have?
- Oh, good, you're back!
We have a new one.
Sex scandals from FEU.
Sex scandals from FEU.
Atenito Scandal!
Desalsal Scandal!
And our newest one, the Literans Scandal--
you'll drown in pussy in that one.
Do you have any from STAE?
STAE.
STAE...
No, we don't, sorry.
We get lots of requests actually but
most of the students there are religious…
So you know,
I guess they don't want
to get found out.
But maybe you know something?
Help us stock up. Maybe
you could give me a copy?
I don’t have one either!
But… this one.
I'll take one of these.
Really? Which one? Which one?
Choose one.
Here, there's so many pussies in this one.
Just… everywhere!
I'll take it all, all of it.
All of it?
Put it on the phone, alright?
Sure, sure, no problem!
I'll give you a discount!
Son of a bitch.
Welcome to Felix's Kingdom.
He lives alone here and is free
to do whatever he wants.
He's used to it.
But it wouldn't be so bad to have company,
aside from his own thoughts and feelings.
He's been used to this sort of
independence at a young age.
Ever heard of fresh spring rolls?
You get one of those,
and shove it right in!
Felix!
Hi, Felix!
- My god, the traffic!
- Auntie!
- What?
- What are you doing here?
- You're home early!
- Wow, you made fresh spring rolls!
Hey, your mom.
She’s late with your allowance again.
Auntie, what are you doing here?
Didn't your mom tell you?
Ah, jeez.
Your mom probably has Alzheimer's.
She has this friend in Japan
whose kid is coming tomorrow.
Who? Uncle Levi?
No,
it's a woman!
Anyway, their kid is coming to work here.
So, to make things more convenient for her,
she'll be living with us
here in the meantime.
Anyway, that’s a good plan I guess.
She won’t have a hard time anymore.
Besides,
she'll only be here for
three months or something.
Gosh, I'm tired.
You know what, I'm starving.
Let's eat!
Auntie! Wait, not yet!
What do you mean 'not yet?'
Hello?
Fresh spring rolls taste best when
you eat them immediately!
Thank you.
Hey, what are you doing,
I'm starving here!
Slightly sweet
with a tang of bitterness!
But it's so good!
What's your sauce recipe?
- Try it!
- I don't want any.
- Try it, it's good!
- I don't want it.
- No, seriously, try it!
- I'm good.
- Just once!
- I don't want it.
Whatever, then. You're missing out.
Give me that!
Give it!
Snatcher!
Hey!
- Shame on you!
- Ouch!
Hey! Wait a minute, miss!
I'm not the snatcher, he is!
This is the snatcher!
Why the hell did you hit me?
I don't even know her!
It's wrong to hit a girl
so I'm hitting you instead!
Miss! Miss, I'll do it!
Sorry, sorry!
Snatcher!
Sorry, sorry, sorry!
Ouch!
That hurt!
Hey!
Yo, what happened to you?!
You look like you went swimming!
Layno, is that you?
You asshole!
You won’t believe this.
- A while ago, at the jeep terminal,
- Yeah?
Wait--am I on time? Am I late?
Nah, you're fine,
here have some water.
Bro, the prof's a no-show!
Yes. Good.
Right!
Class, class, quiet!
Good day to you!
Unfortunately,
your professor for Biology 101
won't be able to come.
- Yes!
- Yes!
He got into an accident.
That’s dark.
Okay?
But don't worry
- because...
- Sorry.
we got you a part-time teacher!
She'll teach you guys while Mr. Gallon
is recuperating, understood?
Yes, sir!
Let's give her a warm welcome!
Here she is!
- Ms. Katey Quinto.
- Good afternoon, class!
Sir, sorry I was late today!
- Sorry.
- Are you alright?
Yeah, I just had some trouble
earlier in the morning.
- But I'm fine, I can manage. Thank you.
- Good, good.
Okay.
Can I expect you guys to be
on your best behavior?
Yes, sir!
Yes sir! Yes sir!
Quiet! This is not a noontime show.
Here's the classroom setup.
I'll leave it to you then!
Good afternoon, class.
Dang, the new teacher's legit, huh?
I hope Mr. Gallon never comes back.
He always has gout anyway.
You said it. I think Bio's my new
favorite minor subject!
Her jacket looks familiar, though!
Don't you have a jacket like that, Felix?
"Genesis 2:24"
That is why a man
leaves his father and mother
and is united to his wife,
and they become one flesh.
Guys, Cathy messaged me again.
I'm not sure what to do.
Did you try it with
the fresh spring rolls?
What position are you planning to do?
Missionary? Doggy style?
How do they make it look so easy?
Feels good, right?
Does it feel good?
Yes!
What do you want?
One more!
Who's your daddy?
Alfredo?!
You feel so good, Felix!
So good!
I will finish you, Eugene!
Felix!
Yes?
Felix, it's time to eat!
I'll be right down!
Come on, hurry up!
Why do you look like that?
You smell like bleach!
Did you do the laundry?
Why is there so much food, Auntie?
What's the occasion?
Did you forget?
Look, I made more spring rolls.
It seems to be your favorite!
And I prepared more food.
Remember, we have a visitor coming?
The one I told you will be staying with us?
Ah, who was it again?
She's here!
Wait a minute!
Hi!
- Hello, ma'am! Good evening.
- Hey, how are you?!
- Are you Katey?
- Yes, ma'am.
- Come in! Don't be shy! Come in!
- Yes, ma’am.
Your timing's perfect!
Why is she here?!
Come, don’t be shy now, come in!
I had to call you via landline because
my purse got snatched.
My wallet and phone
were in there, that's why-
Such hassle, shit!
Oh, I know, that's terrible!
You poor thing!
- The police said they’ll investigate--
- What will I do? What will I do?
Come here, sit down.
Let's eat!
Sorry about this...
this is all I could prepare!
I'm afraid it isn't much!
It looks more than enough, Auntie.
My god.
You poor thing. It's bad enough
you got robbed,
then some creep
put his hands all over you, too!
That filthy creep! God, you can't
trust anyone these days!
Your house looks great, Auntie!
Really, you like it?
You think it's beautiful?
This isn't mine, though...
it's my sister's! The one from Japan.
She's a friend of your mom, isn't she?
And she has a son
living here with me.
Ah, is that so?
Felix!
- Felix!
- Ouch!
Get up from there.
What the hell are you doing?
Give us a second.
Auntie, I'm taking care
of a cockroach down here.
I just killed it so
it won't creep up on anyone.
What?
Crawl! So it won't crawl on things!
- There's a cockroach? Let me help you!
- No need, Auntie!
I can take care of it!
What is taking so long?
Are you dissecting the cockroach?
Sorry about this.
Felix!
Sorry!
Shit!
Hi.
Sorry!
Do you two know each other?
You're not talking.
Hello, Felix.
Katey.
There, now you're introduced!
Felix.
This is Miss Katey Quinto!
She's going to be living
with us for a while
because she'll be working
as a substitute teacher at the--
Hey! You're in the same school!
She'll be at STAE!
Oh, I'm sure she's going
to be your teacher!
You may eat. What are you waiting for?
Let's eat! Don't be shy!
I cook well. The fresh spring rolls--
Bye, Auntie!
- Felix and I will take care of things.
- Bye Auntie, take care!
Please take care!
Your room's ready, alright?
Thanks, Auntie!
My cab's here. Bye!
Let me help you with your bag.
Hello?
Hello, who's this?
It's Tep-tep!
Ah, Tep-tep!
Is your brother home?
My brother?
Yes!
Alright, let me go get him.
Bro! It's for you!
Who the hell is calling?
May I know who this is?
It's Felix, his friend!
It's your friend Felix!
Garf! Garf!
Garfield, where is it?
Hey, what's up, man?
Dude, I gotta tell you something!
This morning, I saw
a woman at the station.
Yeah, Ma! It's somewhere in the back!
And then?
Then in our Bio class,
that teacher that came--
Hello?
Hello? Garf?
Hello!
Can we talk?
Huh?
Okay.
First off,
- at that station--
- I said I was sorry!
Was I wrong to cover up your--
My boobs?
I was going to say sorry
for slapping you.
It's instinctual.
Still, thanks for lending me your jacket.
Here.
Thank you.
But it's still your fault that the snatcher
got away with my phone!
I saved for months to get that!
Sorry, ma’am.
Can we strike a deal?
What kind of deal?
By the way, thanks for letting me
stay here at your house.
But could you please not tell anyone, even
your friends, that I'm staying with you?
Because?
Because it's awkward!
And I can't have any more distractions
or obstacles from doing
my job as a substitute teacher.
So I don't have time
to spare for your friends,
or you! No offense.
Okay, Ma'am Katey.
Don't call me "ma'am" inside the house.
Katey is fine.
Okay, Katey.
And in school,
we don't know each other, got it?
Your classmates and professors have been
warning me about you.
It seems you have a reputation
for being a creep.
A creep?! That's not true!
- That's them saying nasty shit about me--
- Oops!
- No, listen--
- Oops!
The bell's ringing!
Class dismissed!
That's all I ask, okay?
This is what's best for everyone.
What's in it for me?
I can tell Auntie or your mom.
Don't be like that.
See ya!
What a poser.
What was that?
Nothing, ma'am.
Goodnight.
Yeah, that's what I thought!
Damn, it would have
been the perfect setup.
But instead of an angel,
the devil sent one of his lackeys.
Felix.
Miss Katey?
Sorry about earlier.
I think I've been too harsh on you.
I know how you look at me…
and I feel the same.
So…
Hello!
La la...
La la la la...
La la la la...
Hello!
So...
let's begin our private lessons!
Private lesson?!
Hard quiz?
Or oral exam?
Ma'am, I didn't study!
Ma'am, I didn't get to study…
You know,
some doctors believe that
your testosterone level
is the highest in the morning
after a boy or a man wakes up.
The increase in this hormonal alone
may be enough to cause an erection
even without physical stimulation.
So that looks about normal.
Let your morning glory bask in the sun!
Be proud!
- Wow, you're the one who's mad?
- Don't look!
- Pervert!
- You’re the guy here.
Felix, remember what we talked about!
What?
We don't know each other at school!
Yeah, whatever!
Boob!
- Wow, it's Miss Katey!
- Shit! She’s gorgeous!
I wish I was in her class!
Maybe I should try that.
Come on, let’s go to class.
What's wrong with you, man?
- Hey.
- What happened to you?
- Garfield! Layno!
- What?
I've got something to tell you!
What is it?
At our house, there’s this--
- There’s what?
- What?
Look, it's Miss Katey!
- Miss Katey!
- Hello, ma'am!
What were you saying?
There’s?
There’s what?
There was a cockroach.
- You got me hyped up for a cockroach?
- What's with the cockroach, dude?
Yeah, so what?
It's a giant pest!
Pest?
- Come on, dumbass.
- Let’s go.
Tell us more about this cockroach.
Seriously?
Haven't they seen a woman before?
Subtransl.ed balloumowgly
You know what,
I noticed that you don't like
Miss Katey that much.
It's not that.
But...
why are you guys so smitten by her?
Really?
Boy Sleazy, is that really you?!
Asshole.
Dude,
she's really pretty.
Besides,
in our Engineering class, it's rare
to find a hot classmate!
But this one!
She's a teacher!
Right!
With her here, we can get
some Vitamin She!
Think about it!
I have a feeling she's not
as nice as you all think.
Your dislike of her is really something.
Good afternoon, class!
Good afternoon, ma'am!
Easy with the honorifics, you guys!
I'm only 27!
Wow!
Thank you!
There's flowers, too!
I really appreciate the gesture.
I'm very flattered. But I want
to remind you guys
that I am your teacher,
and we are here to learn.
- Right?
- Yes!
I know that your Biology class is just
a minor subject, but...
I hope that we can get along,
that you'll pass the subject,
and I'll get a good evaluation,
because I'm taking the Licensure
Examination for Teachers soon.
This way,
- everyone's happy!
- Yes! Happy!
You.
Mr. Frowny Face.
I'm smiling.
Are you with us?
Give us a smile, then!
What an asshole!
There we go! We should always
be happy, right, class?
- Yes, ma'am!
- Yes, ma'am!
Okay, so let's get started.
And as Sir Gallon instructed,
we will have a surprise quiz!
I don’t' want this anymore!
Ma'am, we haven't reviewed!
Get one and pass!
Okay, class!
So, like I said--
yes, Mr. Layno? Like I said--
are you taking down notes?
- Yes!
- Yes!
Very good! I love students
who pay attention!
Sorry, I was gone for a while.
Did you miss me?
Where were we?
Felix thought that once
Katey's in the house,
This girl is so messy!
he would finally get
a piece of heaven on earth!
What’s Miss Katey’s perfume?
How long are you going to be there?
That stinks!
What do you think is her bra size?
Are those yours, Auntie?
Of course!
I'm a 34D, you know!
I found Ma’am Katey’s Frienster account!
Felix did try to get along with Katey.
Is she still single?
Hey, hey! That’s mine!
That’s mine!
Hello?
Mr. Cabahug!
Can we talk?
Huh?
Can we talk?
What for?
About your assignment.
What assignment?
- The one on Human Thermal Expansion?
- What?
Why is she talking to Boy Sleazy?
Just follow me.
Assignment? Did she say
it's about an assignment?
Maybe she told him he failed it.
Felix?
Where are they going?
What assignment were
you talking about?
Let me borrow your phone.
Why?
Can't you call on yours?
Right, I forgot.
Sorry, sorry--here.
This won't take long.
Who are you texting anyway?
No one.
Just a friend.
Don't you have somewhere to go later?
Later?
Yeah, it's the weekend.
Why?
You're not going out?
Are we going out?
Nope.
There, I deleted the message and
told them I borrowed a phone.
Anyway, I'm off to the faculty room.
Aren't we going home together after school?
You go ahead.
Because...
I'm meeting someone.
It's the weekend, remember?
Sure.
Well, guys?
Don't we have any weekend plans?
I'll pass. I'm broke.
You know, I think we can
crash at Jeps’ place
because he just got a Play Station 2
from his hostess mom in Japan!
- There's an idea!
- That's even more unlikely.
Last time we were there,
his aunt kept insinuating!
She said we ate so much,
She thinks we have no money!
Right!
Do I look like Layno?
Hey!
- Did I hit a nerve?
- Hey! You asshole!
- You were dragging my name!
- Felix!
- Oh my god.
- Here we go again
I just wanna eat my siomai in peace.
Felix, it's my birthday today!
God bless us all!
Oh, right, right! Happy birthday!
- Dude, it's her birthday.
- Happy birthday.
- Happy birthday. God bless you.
- Thank you!
Let's go?
- Lix, break a leg, yeah?
- Let’s go.
Make us virgins--
losers, proud!
Make us losers proud!
Wow.
So this is what a motel looks like.
It's nice.
Come on, let's start.
Huh?
Right now?
Okay, okay.
What are you doing?
Let's start with an opening prayer.
Yes, Lord God,
I'm offering this night to you,
let this serve as our sign of faith
and commitment to You. Amen.
Wait a minute, you're going a bit too fast!
Wait!
Is this really how this goes?
Let me guide you
and take you to the light.
Cathy did not expect, especially Felix,
that he would go soft.
I don't know, either.
What do you think that is,
a Family Computer?
But it's not getting hard!
You just gotta rub a little harder.
Just a little more.
Just a little bit! It's almost there.
What about this?
Ouch!
My arm hurts so much!
Maybe we should just stop!
We were almost there!
It was almost hard!
I'll make it up to you!
Cathy, I'll make it up to you!
I'll make it up to you!
I promise!
You swear?
I promise, I promise!
I guess Felix forgot
to awaken his holy spirit.
Hey!
Ma'am Katey!
Katey!
Hey! Careful, careful!
Slowly.
Hi, Felix!
Ouch!
Ouch!
Looks like you had fun this weekend!
I drank so much!
Wow, she's cursing.
You asshole!
You look like you went out, too.
Why do you look so sad?
What happened to you?
I met with my girlfriend a while ago.
Your girlfriend is a real person, right?
Of course she is! What do you think I am?
And then?
Then...
Nevermind!
You'll just laugh at me!
Promise!
I won't laugh!
Come on, just tell me!
So there...
- I met with my girlfriend...
- Okay.
And then we...
You what?
- Hey!
- What?
You swore you wouldn't judge me.
Whoa!
You had sex?!
What?
It's written all over your face!
Congrats! You had sex!
Don't pretend like you didn't want it!
That's the problem!
I couldn't...
I couldn't…
This is so embarrassing!
Let's just drop it.
You know, you already started it!
You're such a pain in the neck!
I couldn't… My thing didn't--
You didn't get hard?
Oh my god!
- It's your first time?
- What are you talking about?
It's not my first time…
It's your first time!
I know.
You're probably a virgin, aren't you!
- What?! No!
- You totally are!
Whatever, I don't know what
you're talking about!
Hah, virgin! Virgin!
Aw, the poor virgin!
Fine, I'm sorry. Don't tell me
you're going to cry.
Let's stop talking about it.
Just go rest or something!
I'm sorry.
Alright. Seriously,
what happened?
Serious talk, okay?
I don't know what happened, either.
I prepared for it, too, but then…
I don't know why
my dick didn't cooperate.
Listen here. Let me tell you…
Sex is more than
just a physical act
and response.
Like you said,
you prepared for it for a long time,
Then it goes to show
that your emotions
have something to do with it, too!
Do you love your girlfriend?
What's her name?
Cathy.
Her name's nice, isn't it? Just like--
just like mine!
Kidding.
Anyways.
If you really like the girl,
you shouldn't be stressed out!
Because if you're bothered about something
while you're trying to get it up,
you're not gonna get excited!
That’s really--
You're not gonna get it up!
Performance anxiety! It's very common.
Your eyes!
I'm trying to help you but
your eyes keep darting around!
I was looking up there!
Hey! Katey are you okay?
Move! Move!
You didn't even help me!
So… why did you drink so much?
Well, earlier,
I saw you on campus.
Someone picked you up.
What? You saw that?
Who was that?
Why do you sound so jealous?
- Whoa, get over yourself! As if!
- Why are you jealous?
Wow, take it easy. I was just asking!
Get over yourself.
I'm just asking!
That was Joel.
My boyfriend.
Your boyfriend's a real person, too?
You can't talk back at me,
I'm your teacher!
I haven't exactly
been telling the truth.
The reason why I'm teaching at STAE
is so I could be closer to him.
Then?
Why do you look so sad?
You look worse than me.
Katey, what's wrong with you.
I thought we were going to
focus on the licensure exam?
You sure your head's on the exam?
Or on him? Shit!
Graduate of Education,
but a dumbass!
So dumb!
Dumbass!
Dumbshit!
I'm being dumb, aren't I.
Now, you.
You'd better not cheat
on your girlfriend, alright?
Also...
Don't let your mistakes
define who you are!
Remember that!
Mistakes?
Yeah, mistakes!
They're part of growing up.
You don't need to bring that into adulthood
because those are just mistakes.
There.
Remember what I said!
I guess we're both losers today, huh.
Mister Cabahug!
This was the first time Felix and Katey
bonded over something.
They both felt really down that night,
but we all soon realize
that we all have bad days.
Hello?
Hello? Katey?
Katey? Is that you, Katey?
Hello?
Katey, I’m sorry.
Hello?
Hello?
Why, what happened?
I couldn't get it up.
- What?! You couldn't get it up?
- What?! You couldn't get it up?
Boy Sleazy!
- Draw me some hentai shit!
- You want some shit? What?
He said hentai!
Who is it this time?
You've got a lot of questions today!
This is the next commission!
My hands are a little shaky today,
just ask Livelo to do it.
That's because you jack off so much!
Why would I ask Livelo to draw it,
he might turn it into a robot!
Come on, I got you.
I'll pay you back!
He said he’ll pay you back!
We good?
Are you good?
Yeah!
- Bye!
- Bye!
Stop jacking off!
You’re such a pig,
you eat too much.
Hi GG!
Hi Cathy?
Cathy!
Why are you here?
Our prof in Economics didn't show up,
so I'm going to sit-in here for a bit!
Ma'am!
Wow,
that's your teacher?
She's pretty!
Hi, Felix's teacher!
Are you Cathy?
How did you know my name?
I saw it on your I.D.
Oh.
- Teacher--?
- Ma'am Katey.
Wow!
Our names sound the same!
- May I sit in with my GG, please?
- Sure!
I don't mind.
Thank you, ma'am!
Okay, class! So...
It's that moment when Felix wishes
the ground would just open up
and swallow him whole.
have well-developed endoplasmic...
Seated beside him is the woman he wants
to love but his peen doesn't respond to,
and in front of him
is the annoying woman
who's turning him on.
This is what I call.
The Venn Diagram of Arousal.
What was that?
What was it?
Why did he shout?
You asshole!
Did it feel good?
What happened to him?
Are you new here at STAE?
You're lucky because this is
a very prestigious
and religious university!
Ma'am Katey… Cathy…
Yes, it is.
Where do you live, ma'am?
- I live in--
- Ma'am Katey...
Is our class over?
Yes.
The students have come out
of the classroom.
GG!
Miss Katey's so cool! I wish
she was my teacher, too!
You're so lucky to have her
as your girlfriend.
She is so God-fearing.
- Thank you, ma'am!
- Hold this.
I think we need to take this off.
There.
And this, too.
There, see!
Your girlfriend's so pretty!
You look great together.
Alright,
I need to go to my next class.
- Enjoy!
- Bye, Ma’am!
Hey, GG!
I could really feel the holy spirit
inside you earlier.
Will you finally be able
to make it up to me?
I always keep my holy spirit
strong for you, you know that!
This is perfect, it's the Feast
of Mary Magdalene!
Let's do it in time for the Feast of the
Patron Saint of sexual intimacy!
Is that a real thing?
Of course! But on that night,
I want you
to worship no one but me!
Boy Sleazy! How’s the hentai of Ma’am Katey
that I asked you to draw?
Finish it or I will finish you.
- Felix?
- Yes, ma’am?
Can I borrow your phone?
Here you go, ma'am.
Stop with the "Ma'am".
This will be quick.
Hey!
I saw you a while ago!
You've got balls!
Oh, you saw that.
Just relax.
Isn't it awkward for you
to talk about those things?
About…
About 'dirty stuff'?
Come on. It's 2005!
And you lucked out with that Cathy!
She's gorgeous!
Just like me!
Kidding!
I'll have you know,
she made the first move.
Wow! You the man! So handsome!
You bet!
These two can't seem to catch a break!
Things were going so well,
but things just had to go south.
Aren't you going to answer it?
There's your phone.
Don't answer if anyone calls, alright?
Come with me.
Get dressed.
Right now?
Yeah. Hurry up!
What's going on? Is someone going to shoot?
Give me your phone.
Here you go.
Hey, why are you calling?
- I'm gonna run out of load!
- Be quiet!
This is just a drop call!
You won't get charged
if it hasn't been five seconds!
Who are you looking for?
Katey!
Don't!
Let it go.
Felix wanted to help,
but what could he do?
For the first time in his life,
we can actually see
the genuine concern he has for a girl,
with no ulterior motives whatsoever.
The hell?
What's up with her?
The hell do I know?
Maybe she's on her period.
Are you okay?
Turn that shit off!
I said no phones in class!
Or kept on Silent Mode!
Stop using your phone!
You're so noisy!
Shut up!
Don't you have any respect for me?
Here!
Here's your damn test papers!
I get it!
This is just a minor subject!
But none of us are going to move on
if all you give me are failing grades!
Haven't I taught you anything?
Am I not enough?
What else do I need to do?
I'm giving it my all here!
Take me seriously, guys!
It's so easy!
- It's so easy to be happy!
- Katey!
That's enough.
Hey!
Psst!
What happened to her?
Why did your phone have
to ring so loud?
She's still pretty even
when she's mad, isn't she?
Put that shit on Silent!
Sorry, Felix.
I brought my baggage to class.
Don't sweat it.
You know,
when I was younger,
my mom would bring me
to a lot of places
like this.
Mom went abroad afte
r she split up with my dad.
When she went away,
she said she planned to build
a big house for all of us.
But here I am
living there alone.
I guess we're the same.
Our parents weren't there
while we were growing up.
Every time I had a problem,
I would go to these kinds of places
just to...
let off some steam…
to think…
and to talk to the wind.
What do you want me to do?
- Talk to the wind?
- No!
Here.
Talk to him.
Tell him what you want to say.
I've made a lot of mistakes, Felix.
I'm scared they'll come back
to haunt me.
Didn't you tell me
to never let our mistakes
define who we are?
- When did I say that?
- When you were drunk!
Hello?
Is that you, Katey?
Joel?
We're over.
Pinky-sized dick!
Goodbye!
This asshole!
You're a dumbass, Joel!
You're the moron here, not me!
That asshole!
- Just let it all out!
- Did you see how ugly she was?
So ugly! Dumbass! You idiot!
That was my phone!
Shit!
Shit! Sorry!
Oh, sorry!
Oh my god, I didn't mean it!
Your phone!
What did you do?!
Oh my god, sorry!
I'll make it up to you, promise!
What are you going to do?
I'll give you a 1.0 grade in my class.
Promise.
The highest grade on everything!
- No way, are you kidding?
- All of the exams!
- You still have to study!
- All of the exams!
Your phone is an old model already.
Sorry!
This is the first time Felix
formed a bond with a woman
aside from his aunt and mother.
He felt like he could be himself
and feel genuinely happy
when he's with Katey.
That looks really good.
I gotta say, you're improved a lot!
You must be so inspired!
You seem happy!
Like you're in love with
the person you're drawing!
Yeah, right! "In love" my ass!
- That's our teacher, man!
- Is she really just that?
- Stop that “in love” bullshit.
- Hang on a second.
When's your rematch with Cathy?
Oh, right…
Woooo!
- Cabahug!
- Oh hey.
Are you done?
Take care of this, alright?
I might get in trouble again
if this gets out.
Give it to me, Felix!
Let go!
This is all mine! You stay back.
I don't want you to see.
Well done!
So, class!
Who can say
what is probably the most
misunderstood concept
in all of Science? Anyone?
Do you guys know?
- The largest living organism is?
- King Kong's cock?
Shithead!
You dumbass!
I'm not asking for the
smallest organism--
which is your thinking.
She basically said you have a small brain!
Serves you right, dumbass!
The largest living organism
is the honey fungus
found in the Oregon blue mountains.
Felix! Felix!
Look, they're passing around
your drawing again!
Hey, get that!
Get it!
You're not going to get it?
Hey!
Shit!
Class, what is this again?
Who did this?
Son of a--
You're in trouble again, Boy Sleazy!
The hell did you say?
Are you messing with him?
Dude, come on!
You asshole!
Mr. Cabahug.
Did you do this?
It’s good.
Huh?
What?
You know, class…
it's hard to get through life
if no one who believes in you.
So, even if Felix isn't
a bigshot artist just yet,
I'm going to believe in his talents.
I mean, look at this!
It's gorgeous!
Look at my boobs,
they're perfect!
Mr. Cabahug.
Once you're a well-known artist,
don't forget about us, alright?
Don't forget us!
Maybe next time you could
draw me with clothes on!
But I'm going to confiscate this.
As a remembrance
that I had a student that can become
a great artist in the future!
Wow, nice!
Way to go!
Go back to your seat, Mr. Cabahug.
You look happy!
Subtransl.ed balloumowgly
Auntie Feline?
Hey, Felix!
Come on, have some food.
Wow!
I didn't know you can cook!
- Of course! It's just bacon!
- Look at you.
You just got through a break up
but look at you!
- You can easily be a…
- A what?
A wife?
A mom!
Me? A mom?
Son, let's eat! We have bacon, eggs,
and hotdogs! Let's eat!
Thank you for...
saving me in class, by the way.
You had to go and cough up
that little speech for me.
You dummy, that wasn't fake,
I meant every word.
You know,
I think you should really hone your skills.
You're pretty amazing!
You really think so?
Yeah!
You're the only one who's ever said that.
Really? Why didn't you
take up Fine Arts?
Mom didn't want me to.
God, our parents keep poking
their nose in everything!
Jesus!
What about you?
Did your mom ask you to be a teacher?
Nope.
Actually, I had no idea
what I wanted to do back then.
But when my dad died, I wanted
to know him better.
He was a teacher, so, I wanted
to see what it's all about.
At first, I didn't really like it.
But slowly,
I realized, it's fun to be a teacher.
Knowing you can believe
in someone and inspire them,
even if it's just one person!
Annoying.
You know what,
this is the first time
I've seen you like this.
So passionate!
Really?
Actually,
I want to apologize because I didn't think
of opening up to you.
You're pretty cool.
Really.
Thanks for
believing in me.
Actually, thank you, Felix!
Come on, let's eat!
- Do you want a hotdog?
- I want a hotdog.
Now, this hotdog is huge,
so you're going to get full quickly.
Okay!
I’m the one who paid for the tricycle fare!
You’re unbelievable.
Felix, why the hell aren't you replying?
I brought some--
...fresh spring rolls.
Felix?
Ma'am Katey?
Ma’am Katey?
The gate was locked.
But these dimwits climb over the gate
and just let themselves in!
What the hell is going on, Felix?!
I already told you, didn't I?
Her mom and my mom--
Felix!
Felix!
You lied to us?
Huh?
You're live-in partners?
Everyone on Yahoo Groups
needs to know about this!
Hey, don’t!
- Come on man, don't do that!
- I need to log on YM!
Ma'am Katey!
Did he drug you?
Huh? Did he?
Now you know why I wanted
to keep this a secret!
He didn't drug me.
I was the one who told him
not to tell anyone else.
So stop being mad at Felix!
Goddamn it, Felix!
Huh?
- Why do you have all the luck, man?
- Yeah!
- I mean, you have a girlfriend!
- Yeah!
- And Ma'am Katey's staying with you…
- Yeah!
The hell is wrong with these two?
Are they toddlers?
Well, what do you expect from
a couple of virgins?
- Really?
- I have never seen a naked woman.
Aside from my mother.
- Gross!
- You're disgusting!
Do you really want to see?
Why, of course!
Sure, leave it to me.
Hi, everyone!
I’m Selena at your service!
Okay, I heard there are
a couple of virgins here!
No, I don't think so!
Are you the virgins?
Him! Him!
What do you mean me?
Are you sure?
My god, you're practically adults but
it's your first time in this place?
Don't worry! I'll take care of you!
I will make sure you will enjoy yourselves!
Throw that away! Throw it!
Throw it! Throw it!
It’s really sticky!
Why is there an umbrella?! What's it for?
Why is there a pitcher?
What don't you have in there?!
- Hi, boys! Are you having fun?
- Hi. Hello.
- I heard you were the virgins here!
- Huh?
Hi baby boy!
They're having fun!
- Cheers?
- Cheers, cheers!
Cheers!
Hold on.
- What, why?
- Who's going to pay for all this?
Ta-da!
Thanks to Garfield's mom!
For real?
You got that?!
Yeah, she handed
it to me earlier!
So just keep ordering!
Alright, I'm going to order some more!
- Cheers, cheers!
- Cheers!
Hey, what's the matter?
You know what, I know 70 ways
to make you happy.
70 ways, really?
Yep!
The first is
to hug you.
The rest…
is 69.
What do you mean 69?!
You're crazy!
I'm kidding! Man, you can't take a joke!
That was close, Felix!
Take it easy, my man.
How are you and Cathy?
Cathy?
We're going to try
for round two soon.
Nice!
Is your Holy Spirit ready?
That's the thing,
I'm scared I might
embarrass myself again.
I'm--
I'm scared it won't cooperate...
Your dick?
- Hey, watch your mouth.
- And why?
We're in a damn beerhouse!
Stop being so conscious!
You know what, that's your problem, Felix.
You can’t commit! You can't
even say the word 'dick'!
You gotta take control!
Take control?
Yeah!
- Take control!
- How?
I'll teach you!
You follow my lead.
Cheers!
Alright, are you ready?
Game! What are we doing?
Secret.
Just kidding!
- Alright, game!
- Okay, game!
- This is serious. No dumb jokes!
- Yeah, I'm serious!
Okay, here's what you do.
Close your eyes.
How's this?
Is this okay?
How about this?
You little twerp, hurry up!
Both eyes?
Of course! Stop being a dumbass!
- Okay, game!
- Breathe in.
Felix! Your holy spirit is so strong!
I'll give you holy spirit! Bend over!
Holy spirit! Holy spirit!
Oh, no, that tickles!
Breathe in! I did what you asked,
I breathed in!
Hey, take this seriously!
Wait! Wait a minute!
Can't we do an opening prayer first?!
What opening prayer?! This is it!
Breathe in…
Breathe out…
Follow her breathing,
time it with yours.
And focus on her voice.
Breathe in…
Breathe out…
Jesus Christ!
You are facing the girl
that you love so much.
Just relax.
Is this relaxed enough for you?
Very relaxed!
Can you feel it?
Can you imagine it?
Are you experiencing it?
Thank you, Lord!
I am
in
control.
You are in control, Felix! In control!
Our hero is rock hard right now.
As the kids say these days,
he's on beast mode.
Listen to me.
One...
Two...
I love you!
Three...
I love you, too!
Release!
I love you, Katey!
But while Adam ravaged Eve
with his sinful serpent,
he didn't realize he was going
to commit a greater sin.
Well? Well?
Did you feel--
So?
Well?!
Did you feel anything?
So?
Hey!
Katey!
What did you say?!
Cathy…
Katey!
Cathy!
Shit!
And this is where Felix
finally admitted to everything.
So there.
Cathy broke up with me.
I knew it.
You have feelings for Ma'am Katey.
You know, I'm not surprised.
I mean, they lived together.
Alright, class.
Garfield Ponce!
Perfect score!
Take that!
Heard that? Perfect! No mistakes!
Jorrel Layno--
you pass.
Hah, barely passed!
But I still did!
I didn't need a perfect score.
Congrats, congrats!
Thank you, you're such
a great teacher, ma'am!
Hey, hey, hey!
Sir Jess!
How are you feeling?
I'm good! I'm good, actually.
What about you? How are you doing?
Hopefully my students didn't
give you too much trouble.
A little, but nothing I can't handle, sir.
Class, please greet Sir Jess.
He is my mentor.
Sir Jess, you're still alive?
- Hi Sir Jess!
- No, I meant--
Yes, I'm very much alive, thank you!
Class, I have an announcement to make.
Miss Katey's time as the substitute teacher
is about to end,
and I will be coming back to work
in a few weeks.
Aww, you're leaving us, ma'am?
We'll miss you!
Class...
don't be sad!
Remember what I told you?
We should be happy.
Besides, I'll be doing
my licensure exam soon.
Who knows…
maybe next year you'd still be here.
Mr. Cabahug!
You're frowning again!
Just keep smiling.
Sir Jess, how are things?
The Faculty was pleased
with my performance, Auntie!
They thought I was all looks.
Oh my, that's great news, Katey!
So what’s next?
Where are you heading off
after your exams?
Hey, you're always welcome
to stay here, alright?
Oh Auntie, I wouldn't want to impose!
I might find my own place by then.
Actually, you'd have worn out your welcome.
Kidding!
No, I'm sure Felix's mom wouldn't mind.
My sister and your mom
are best friends, after all!
I'm just a little frustrated
with Felix here.
He still hasn't graduated!
Have you seen his drawings?
They're so good!
What?
You draw and you didn't even tell me?
You should have taken up Fine Arts!
You should draw me!
Hey.
Hold on, I have some good news!
I think...
Arcenio and I might be
getting back together again!
So, just stay here. I have
to check if he gave me a call!
- Excuse me!
- Go ahead, Auntie.
I heard
you broke up with Cathy?
I'm sorry…
I, ah...
I apologize, too,
for what happened the other night.
Felix,
please don't apologize because...
I was surprised, too.
Because...
I led you on.
And if we met under
different circumstances,
I'm sure I would have
liked you in that way, too.
But for now...
can we stay this way?
So, you're saying there's a chance?
I'm going to go get some water.
Here is our hero yet again,
restless, and sleepless.
If he hadn't messed around in school,
he probably would've graduated by now,
and he could be with Katey.
But if he did do well in school,
he wouldn't have been able to know
the woman who made him into a man.
STAE represent!
STAE represent!
Have you seen the STAE scandal?
I knew it!
I always knew something
wasn't right with Ms. Quinto!
Katey!
Felix, not now.
Felix!
Cathy.
Layno, where's Felix?
He's with me. He says
he wants to go home.
No, stop him!
At all costs. I'll be right there!
This looks good.
This is the first time
I've seen a shirt like this!
That ones's better.
Yeah, solid choice.
Guys, come on.
Wait, where? Where are we going?
Where do you want to go?
I need to go home, man,
I need to check on Katey.
- She's at the mall!
- That's right!
She's probably busy, and besides--
There's a photocopy service here,
they make good copies.
No, I'm sure she's home!
- Sir!
- Do you want to try the photocopy service?
What's your favorite
color on the stoplight?
- Sir! Sir!
- Mine is green.
- Dude, look! The stoplight's at green!
- Who is wrong?
- What's wrong?
- Sir, sir!
Sir I remember you! You're the one who
was looking for a scandal from STAE!
- So glad you're back.
- Scandal?
Dude, I think something's wrong
with my tummy!
- I'm shitting my pants!
- Come here, I'll play it for you!
Let's check it out, man!
Sir!
What did I tell you? It’s legit!
I heard this was
a teacher at STAE!
Well, boss? You want it
on your phone again?
Shut that off.
What?
Do you want a copy?
- Shut it off.
- Dude, my stomach really hurts!
- Why?
- Lix, that's enough.
- Dude, it hurts!
- Turn that shit off!
Hey, hey, hey!
I told you to turn that off, didn't I?!
Hey! Asshole!
My CPU!
You ass! Get out of here!
And when you're deep in love,
judgment has no place in your heart.
Arsenio is so silly.
He hasn't changed one bit.
But sis…
- Let's stop talking about Arsenio.
- Katey!
- how we're back to being Miss Photogenic--
- Katey!
Oh, it's Felix!
Felix!
Felix, come here!
Your mom's on the phone!
- Katey!
- Hey, Felix!
- What is up with this kid?
- Katey!
It's like he didn't even hear me!
Katey?!
Katey?!
No sign of Katey at all.
She just vanished
without a word.
Feline, that Katey--
Tanya's daughter?
- I can't believe she's such a sleaze.
- Oh god, yes.
So immoral! She has a scandal!
How could we have known, sis?
You're the one who asked me
to let her stay here with us.
What kind of woman is she?
Good thing she's gone
before I got home.
Could you have the
room cleaned, please?
Who knows what other
filth she left in there.
I'm surprised she didn't prey
on my poor boy!
She's a bad influence.
Where is Katey?
We finally have a STAE scandal!
Ma’am looks delicious!
He didn't know the first place to look,
or if she's even safe
while her video's going around.
She looks so yummy!
You want a sex scandal?
Get a load of that.
Felix was prepared
to face people's criticisms.
He was ready to humiliate himself to bury
Katey's scandal as all eyes turn on him.
So he made another STAE scandal.
However…
Mr. Cabahug!
Report to the Dean's Office.
Now!
Felix, Felix…
I know you.
You can do better than this, Felix.
You want to say something?
Nothing?
Maybe Miss Quinto's ways are
just rubbing off on you.
I heard she was living in your house.
How lucky!
Sir!
Katey has nothing to do with this!
“Katey?”
Wow, Sister!
I didn't realize you were
on a first-name basis!
Be thankful that you
only got suspended.
Unlike with Miss Quinto.
Unfortunately, they banned her
from entering the school premises,
and in case she passes
the Licensure Examination,
they'll make sure that
no school will ever accept her.
Sir, why don't you
just expel me instead?
She didn't even do that
while she's a teacher in STAE!
I am absolutely sure she wasn't the one
who uploaded that video!
Well, I'm so sorry to hear that.
She could have been a
great professor in our school.
But it is as they say,
she is a disgrace to this institution.
The only reason why
they didn't expel you is
because they believe
you're under the influence of--
what was it again, Sister?
Infatuation.
I'm sorry, but...
the Board has passed their decision.
It's final and irrevocable.
Let it go!
No one's going to watch your video anyway.
Just the gays!
It's a little slanted, sir,
let me just fix it.
A couple of days passed.
Katey still hadn't shown herself…
no one's heard from her…
She still hasn't come back.
Why does happiness slip away
right as we're about to grasp it?
So Felix drowned
his sorrows in alcohol.
He's used to being alone, anyway.
But deep inside,
he still held out hope.
Felix?
Katey?
Why did you disappear?
Where did you go?
Huh? Why did you leave?
Who spread that video?
Was it Joel?
Well?
Sorry, I didn't mean to make you worry.
But I really needed
some time to breathe.
A break from all the noise.
But I'm here now…
to say goodbye.
Wait--
goodbye?
Where are you going?
Take me with you!
Please!
There are just some things
I need to fix for myself.
Katey!
Don't leave me, please!
Please!
Boy Sleazy--
We both need to grow up.
Katey.
I'm so tired of being left behind!
I'm so tired of being
left behind, please!
I'm so tired!
Please!
When Felix woke up, he had a massive
headache from getting wasted.
Worse was the pain in his heart,
because that was the last time
he would ever see Katey.
Time passed and by some miracle,
our hero finally graduated!
And during that time,
people eventually forgot
his moniker "Boy Sleazy".
But that name would go on to be used
in so many places.
And there are things that
just can't be forgotten…
Like sweet memories,
the "what if's",
and things that will never happen.
Felix.
I really hope you can
move on from this.
- Babe, come on. Give me your bag.
- Thanks, babe!
- Do you like it?
- Your house is so nice!
- Auntie!
- Oh, hi!
Felix!
Auntie, how can I help you?
No, just relax.
Hey! Isn't your mom coming home tomorrow?
What time are you picking her up?
Around 3PM, Auntie.
Hang on, Auntie.
Work is calling.
- Aww, you're so sweet!
- I missed you, Auntie!
- Hand me the potatoes and the...
- Sure thing.
...pepper.
“I love your work! I want to commission
you for a piece.”
Hey, Garf!
- Hey, Felix!
- Hi Layno! I missed you guys!
Garf, Garf!
How are you? How's your wife?
We're doing great, and she's pregnant!
Twins again, I think!
Again?
I think you went a little overboad
with the PSL there!
P.S.L.
Putok Sa Loob
(to cum inside)
What about you, Layno?
I sure hope
you've gotten your cherry
popped on that ship!
Of course!
I met a hot crewmate!
Wait--
- Oh, hi!
- How are you, honey?
Hi!
Hi!
- Babe!
- Oh, babe!
Babe!
Guys, it's Catherine!
Oh, hi guys!
I miss you!
Hey, let's help Auntie prepare.
- Okay, okay…
- I'll catch you guys later, okay?
- Bye!
- Garfield, send my regards to Celina!
- Thanks so much!
- Bye!
Auntie, is the food ready yet?
Almost! Just waiting for the potatoes.
Is that going to be delicious?
Babe!
Put your phone down!
Give me a sec. I'm almost done.
What's so important?
Put that down.
Why,
what are we doing?
Playtime.
Huh? Play--isn't that for later?
But we've never had sex here
and I want us to do it.
- Right now?
- Yes, now.
If you say so.
- Love you.
- Love you.
Felix may have taken a different road,
but he realized that
no matter what hurt you,
there's always something to learn from it.
And if it continues to cause you pain,
more likely,
the lesson’s not yet done.
Because once in Boy Sleazy’s life,
he chose to be a lover boy instead.
Ouch!
Mr. Cabahug!
Once you're a well-known artist,
don't forget
about us, alright?
Boy Sleazy!
Why are you sad again?
Didn’t I say let’s just be happy?
And I know you're probably wondering
who I am and why I know a lot
about Boy Sleazy’s story.
Well...
I am Felix's other head!
Or the holy spirit.
I am Boy Sleazy's dick!
Subtransl.ed balloumowgly