Bleacher Bums (2001) - full transcript

All right, let's go.

Here we go.

Peanuts!

Get your peanuts!

Daddy?

Two.
Okay.

Charge!

...so drop
whatever you're doing

and come on down
to the ballpark.

No, no, bring the baby along,
bring the whole family down...

...to watch your Chicago Bruins
battle it out



with their arch rivals,
the Eagles from St. Louis.

You know, Tim,
with the All-Star Game behind

both the Bruins and the Eagles

can set their sights
on an outside chance

still to make a wildcard run.

That's right, Ron.

And as they kick off
a twelve-game home stand...

So I'll see you later.

Okay, have a good time.

Hey, ten bucks, come on.

Tickets!
Right here.

Tickets, tickets.

Right here,
right here.

All right,
all right.



Put your money
where your mouth is.

That's what
I'm saying.

Put your money
where your mouth is.

We're a million miles away.

What did you pay
for this?

I don't know.

Too much.

Who wants to sit here?

There's no backs
and we can't see anything.

Okay, Dad, what do
you want to do?

No, no, no, no...

You bought 'em;
we'll sit.

Need
a fucking telescope.

You guys from out of town?

Yeah.
Yeah.

So... what do you know
about the Bruins?

They suck.

What about
the inventory?

You can do it.
Have a good time.

We've got
a delivery coming.

I trust you.

You're not taking
the car?

No.
You're walking
for luck, huh?

Ah, why not?

They lost eight in a row.

Well, that means
they're due.

Sorry, guys, that was me.

That's all right.
It's okay.

Let's take it from
the beat three entrance, okay?

One, two...

One, two, three...

Whoa, David, guys...

I don't have the money.

Whoa!

You don't have
the money, man?

Come on.
It's like two days.

How much of it
don't you have?

I don't have any of it.

What have you
been doing?

If David had the money,
he'd pay for it...

He knows, he knows,
he knows.

Look, Joey

we've got a studio on Wednesday

and we've got an engineer
on Wednesday.

And four-fifths of the money.

The bank told me
if I get a cosigner...

I don't want to hear
anything about that.

I just want to hear you come in
on cue, all right?

Good.

Let's take it from the top.

...I see the classic
summer fashion statement

is back this year
in the bleachers.

Whoa, there's my fashion
statement right there, Ron!

My future ex-wife.

They dance to their own drummer
out there.

And tell me something, Ron:

what is it
about a camera

a kielbasa and a couple
of beers that turns...

Oh, oh, oh!

I'm sure that's not

what she had in mind,
even on a scorcher like today.

Hope she brought a Bruins
T-shirt, that's for sure.

Today or never.

Manager George Reed has already
looked at the numbers...

Numbers don't win games!

Intangibles win games!

These announcers,
these announcers...

It's not about numbers.

It's not about stats,
am I right?

It's about passion.

It's about redemption.

Calling up Ozu's the best thing
we could have done.

You don't think he knows

he's been hitting a buck-75
since the All-Star break?

He'll be looking
for payback.

You know what I mean.

Forget about his stats.
Who gives a shit?

He'll bring passion to the game!

See what
I'm saying?

No.

Forward, men of Chi!

That was 1945, the last time
we won the pennant.

An amazing year.

Of course, that was before
there was ivy on the walls.

But really you've got to go back
to 1908

the last time we won
the World Series

to get the whole picture.

Excuse me...
I'm saving this seat.

But it's not
reserved up here.

No, no, I know.

I'm saving it
for a friend.

Isn't it first come,
first served?

Yes, it is, but I'm saving it
for a friend, Mr. Decker.

It's his lucky seat.

It's not lucky
if he doesn't sit in it.

Come on, pal,
can't you just, um...

That's all right anyway.

Oh, great,
thanks a lot.

It's no problem.
I appreciate it.

Sorry, excuse me.

So anyway, 1908.

Imagine two generations...

Hey, Greg!

Excuse me.

Mr. Z.

Good to see you.

Good to see you.

You got a seat for me?

I sure do,
same old, same old.

That's the one.

How you doing?

Ah, better
by the minute.

Let's go, Bruins!

Let's go, Bruins!

Let's go, Bruins!

Let's go, Bruins!

Let's go, Bruins!

Just the man
I'm looking for.

I believe I hold your marker.

Hey, Deck.

Daddy, I see Mean Green!

Hey, you're right.

Number 29,
Dayton Green.

Mean Green, Mean Green.

Mean Green, Mean Green.

Hey, Deck, I'd have found you,
you know what I mean?

I know that.

So, are we going
to win, bud?

We're going to win!
Yeah!

We are going to win.

I know.

You're raising a very
intelligent young man.

Hey, Zigala.

Ah, Commodore.

How you doing
there, Greg?

Mr. D.

Who you got today?

What do I got today?

What, are you kidding me?

I don't think I've seen
you around here, Miss...

King.
Miss King.

It's only my second time
at a baseball game.

I heard the sun was good
in the right field bleachers.

Oh, screw Acapulco.
This is it.

Excuse me.
Excuse me.

Sorry. Thanks.

Hey, Decker

I got two guys to bet with me
on the game, six to five.

You giving the six
or getting?

Huh? Both.

What about you, Zig?
You want to bet with me?

I'll give you six to five.

All you're giving me
is a pain in the ass.

Hey, hey,
I'm sitting here.
I'm sitting here.

You can't sit
there, get up.

Get up.
Get up, get up.

Get out of there.

I can sit
anywhere I want.

Whenever you come
in here do you have
to touch everybody?

Don't touch me,
all right?

Don't touch me.

And you're not
sitting there.

What, are you president
of the bleachers now?

That's right.

Richie, I don't think
Zig wants you sitting
so close to him.

Why don't you sit, uh...

Okay, I got
my lucky scorekeeper

I got my lucky seat,
it's going to be a good day.

Come on, Deck, you
want to make a bet?

Uh, you want to go
on the gate?

Okay, uh...

Wow, looks big, I'm going
to go with 30,000.

32... no, 31...

You like 31.

Yeah.
I like 33.

I get everything under 33?

All right, you get
everything under 33.

For a buck.

For a buck, you're on.

Looks like we got
35 already.

Yeah, for how much?

A loaf of bread,
a jug of wine

and box seats
at the World Series.

Greggy...

Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls

have your pencils
and scorecards ready.

Here are the starting line-ups
for today's game.

For St. Louis...

Boo!

Yeah!

...Batting fourth,
playing first base

number 36, Michael McGuinn.

Boo!

You 70-homer
piece of shit!

He's amazing,
isn't he?
Unbelievable.

The size
of his forearms.

Looks at a ball,
goes over the fence.
Bam!

Well, it's a complete set.

I've already been offered
$1,500 for it.

Batting seventh...

Yes, I have it up
on the screen now.

But you see, that's just one
of the complete set.

Oh, yes, well, you let me know.

And give me a call back

when you arrive at some price
you're comfortable with.

Okay.

...Rowland Keough.

Boo!

Boo!

I hate this guy, Keough.
I hate him.

Why's he even playing?
He killed us last time.

Maybe that's why
he's playing.
Oh, shut up.

And batting ninth

the pitcher, number 56,
Ray Lincoln.

Get out of here!
Take a walk,
you bum!

Stinkin' Lincoln!

And now...

the starting lineup
for your Chicago Bruins!

Leading off and playing
center field

number 17, Sammy Barnes!

Streak! Streak!

Batting second

playing second base,
number 29, Dayton Green.

Mean Green! Mean Green!

Batting third,
playing first base

number 37, Darren Hale.

Hail to the Chief!

Batting fourth

playing right field,
number 58, Manny Losa.

MVP! MVP!

...Batting seventh

and playing shortstop, just back
from the disabled list

number 18, D.J. Ozu.

Batting eighth and catching,
number 51, Scott Sheffield.

Sheff! Sheff! Sheff! Sheff!

And batting ninth
and pitching, number 30

Kyle Riddick!

All right, Riddie!

All right, Kyle, all right,
way to go, Riddie!

He won't make it past
the seventh inning.

They'll have to
bring in Todd Heck.

Todd "Give 'em Hell" Heck?

That's our man.

And now, ladies

and gentlemen, boys and girls,
please rise

for our national anthem.

Come on, Deck, how
about a game bet?

Richie, it's
the national anthem.

♪ O, say can you see ♪

♪ By the dawn's early light ♪

♪ What so proudly we hailed ♪

♪ At the twilight's
last gleaming... ♪

Hey, you got a light?

Oh, okay.

♪ And the rocket's red glare ♪

♪ The bombs bursting in air ♪

♪ Gave proof through the night ♪

♪ That our flag
was still there ♪

♪ O, say does that star-spangled
banner yet wave ♪

♪ O'er the land of the free ♪

♪ And the home of the brave. ♪

Let's get a game.
let's get a game.

Come on, Kyle.

Hey, Decker, look who
I found loitering around?

Hey, son.
Hey, Dad.

Hey, Joey,
look at you!

Hey, Mr. Zigkowski,
how you doing?

Come here.
Sit down.

...Left fielder B.J. Malone.

Boo!

Come on, Kyle!
Come on, Riddick!

Hey, Skippy, move over.

Move over where?

Come on, Rich,
just move.
Come on, Kyle.

Dad, I'm not staying
for the whole game.

Yeah, uh-huh.
That's okay, yeah.

Are you hungry?
Yeah, I could eat.

Listen, Richie,
would you get us some hot dogs?

Would you like
a hot dog, miss?

Deck, I just got here.
Well, you'll
just get back.

Here, get five hot dogs.

Get the change, and no mustard.

Well, actually,
mustard, no relish.

Forget the relish

just get the
mustard, all right?

You're out!

Ozu to Hale.

Ozu eats up a grounder
to start the game.
What was that?

What was that?

Okay, I'm down
with the home team.

What kind of odds
you want, Zig?

Who do you think
you're talking to?

You got the Bruins?

I got the Bruins.

I'm shocked.
He wants the Bruins.

You want to bet
the Eagles?

I can't. It's bad luck
if I bet the Eagles.

I ain't betting
against the Bruins.

I'm not betting
the Eagles.
So don't.

What does that mean?

That means
do it my way.

We can both ride
the same train

without getting off
at the same stop.

Okay, okay...

Do we see this act
every day or what?

All right, we'll
both bet the Bruins

winning margin.

Oh, all right,
winning margin.

I say we're going to win
by at least three.

Who's going today?
Riddick and Lincoln,
the two aces.

All right!
Yes!

Yeah, babe.
Pitcher's duel?

On paper.

All right, uh, I say
we win by two or less.

You got two or less.
I got three or more.
What's the price?

$50.
$50?
That's good.

Okay, we got our bet.
Come on, Kyle!

I'll take
some of that.

I got the visitors.
I'm giving even money.

You betting those
St. Louis assholes?

Yeah, today I'm betting
the St. Louis assholes.

Tomorrow I'll bet
the Pittsburgh assholes

and the next week I'll bet
the Philadelphia assholes.

I'm addicted to winning.

I'm covering all
available action.

Yeah, all right!

Three pitches,
three strikes.

Hey, you want to go
$100 right now?

You got it.

Can you believe
these two guys, Joey?

Whatever, Dad,
it's a free country.

Not up here, it ain't.

I had one with relish...

You put your own
condiments on them.

I know, I just...

I don't get paid enough
to do it for you.

Who was that,
Manzanilla?

Come on, man.
People are waiting.

I just need to
know who was out.

An Eagle.

Who the fuck cares
which one?

What can I get
you, man?

Two hot dogs,
a couple of beers.

I care.

And some chips.

I care.

Zig, three up,
three down.

It's the start
we're looking for.

You hear that, Marvin?
Three up, three down.
It's our day.

You ought to get
a piece of this.

You going to back up your boys?

Plenty of time, Marvin.

I'll take a piece
of that.

What are we
betting?

We are not betting anything!

Just hand out the...
Dad.

Hand out the dogs?

Can I talk to you
for a couple seconds?

Yeah, sure,
want a hot dog?

Leading off, number 17,
center fielder Sammy Bar...

Leading off, number 17,
center fielder Sammy Barnes!

I say Sammy gets on.
Who wants to bet?

I say he don't reach.

Even money he reaches, $20.

Charge!

What are you doing?

What am I doing?

I'm betting my
man Sammy.

Sure thing if
ever I saw one.

In his dreams he doesn't
make that catch!

That was a lucky catch!

Yeah, lucky
for me, Zig.

Keough-- I'm starting
to hate that guy.

Dad, so, can we talk?

Yeah, what's
on your mind?

Batting for Bruins,
second baseman, Mean Green!

Mean Green! Mean Green!

Green'll get on.

You know, he shook off
that groin pull.

I'll bet you double or nothing.

Double or nothing?
You're down.

What are you doing?

It's a sure thing.
A sure thing?

Why don't you just give
him your money now?

Why not just give
me your money?

The money you'll
lose to me.

What's the count?
0 and 1.

Ow!

It's early in the game, Zig.

You got to watch these guys
for a few innings first.

You know what I mean?
Get a feel for the game.

I can feel it.
He's a clutch hitter.

Zig, look, let me
tell you something.

Next time you want to get down
on a reach/no reach bet

you don't offer even money.

Even the best of these guys

they only get on
three out of ten times.

Hey, hey, hey.

Don't tell me what's
a good bet, please.

The man is taking
your money, Zig.

You ought
to listen to him.

Marvin

how long you been
coming out here, huh?

I've been coming out here
for 20 years, Marvin.

20 years! You're telling
me how to bet?

That was a really
stupid bet, though.

Oh, yeah. Yeah,
that's what I need.

I need this schmuck
telling me

that it was
a dumb bet.

Yeah, yeah, I need
Bobo the Chimp here...

Why don't you go sit
someplace else, huh?

I don't need this,
all right?

You want to sit there,
then shut the fuck up

and don't say
another word to me!

Don't say nothing to me.

Next batter, playing first base,
Darren Hale.

Dad?
Yeah?

Okay, me and the
guys are trying

to put together
a CD...

Out!

Keough, you shithead!

Stinking bastard!

Only against the Bruins.

Dad.
Long as it's
against the Bruins.

Dad, come on,
already.

Sorry, Joey, what
were you saying?

We're making the CD
this week...

What about a score bet
on this inning?
It's too early.

I never take these
early score bets.

You think St. Louis
is going to score?

I think so. Even
money on 20 bucks?

I'll take that bet.

That's a good bet.

Riddick looks
strong today.

I know it's a good bet.

McGuinn's always trouble.

Charge!

When are they going
to put the Bruins' zero

on the scoreboard?

What the hell do those
guys do up there?

What do you
think they do?
What?

What, you ain't
heard stories what
goes on up there?

No.
What do
you think?

You think they just
put up the score?

Yeah.

They got broads
up there.

That is a fact.

I seen 'em take beers up there.

Well, there you are.

Speaking of which

who would like
to get me a beer?

I'll go get the beers.

There you go.

Marv, don't be sending
my kid out for beers.

I'm not a kid
and nobody's sending me.

Oh, wait a minute, Joey.
I'll go with you.

...Michael McGuinn.

I understand.

I'm just trying
to find out more about...

Oh, my God,
can this guy throw!

Come on, you don't still
get a little shiver

when you see a
90-mile-an-hour fast ball?

No, 'cause I never threw 90.

Yeah, 90,
I clocked you.
Oh, I did not.

Anyway, how much
money do you need?

I don't need money.

Oh, I'm sorry.
I misunderstood.

No, I need you to
cosign a loan for me.

Joey, that's money;
if you fail to repay the loan

who do you think's got
to come up with the money?

Oh, shit!

Damn!

Two bases.
Sorry, how much
do you need?

It's two grand
for my share.

Two grand? And each guy's
going to contribute?

Yes.
All right.

How long's the loan for?

It's for a year.
A year.

Is this band going to be
together for a year?

Oh, you think this is
some kind of phase
I'm going through?

Oh, I get it, I see.

It's me dumping the
baseball scholarship
No, no...

dumping college,
and I'll dump this.
Stop it.

I just don't want to see you
stuck behind the eight ball.

Can I help you, sir?

Yeah, we'd like...

Oh, damn!

Just go.
No, it's all
right, I...

I'll get it.

You sure?
Yes.

You got money?
Yes.

I'll be back
in a minute.

W-Wait, do I get Zig a beer?

No, he doesn't
drink anymore.

High blood pressure.

Throw home!
Throw home, you moron!

These guys just ain't
playing right.

You ain't betting right.

Oh, I'm betting right.

It's them; they're
not playing right.

I'm not out there playing.

They should be down there...
I should be up...

Oh, the hell with it!
You know what I mean!

All right, all right!

Yeah, finally, one out.

Double or nothing
they score another run?

Double or nothing?
That's what
I'm saying.

You're on.

Hey, Zig, Richie's got
his finger up his nose.

Three to five
he takes it out.

Three to five?

Next batter

Rowland Keough.

A-hole!

Keyhole.

Keyhole? Ke-ogh.

A-hole...
Ke-ogh, A-hole
Ke-ogh, A-hole?

♪ Ke-ogh, A-hole,
Ke-ogh, A-hole ♪

♪ Ke-ogh, A-hole, Ke-ogh. ♪

I hate this guy, Keough.
I hate him.

How come he hits so good
against the Bruins?

You're a freak, Keough, a freak!

Get out of here,
you freak!

What's he hitting?

Around .250.

He must be hitting
.450 against us.

Right-center.

He falls down, you freak!

Hurry up!

Throw it in!
Throw it in!

Safe!

Play baseball!

They've got to
throw the ball!

You've got to catch the
ball and then throw it!

You can't just hold it
and let them run
around the bases.

What are you going
to do, scare 'em?

Give 'em hell, Zig.
Ah!

Well, my game bet's looking
pretty good, Zig.

Three runs
for the Eagles already.

Oh, come on, Deck,
the Bruins ain't
playing right.

I mean, there's
something wrong
out there.

And a hush falls
over the crowd.

It's a little early
for the seventh-inning stretch

wouldn't you say, Ron?

Looks like your
friend out there.

I believe it is--
I just remember blonde hair.

And what is this
with money?

For Pete's sake,
you'd think we were
in Cincinnati.

:
Shit!

Did you guys notice where
that camera was pointing?

The cameraman?

What camera?

Richie, get
a camera.

Richie, give me
the score sheet.

I was betting how they was
playing yesterday.

Zig, you trying
to get out of the bet?

Is this the third out?

Oh, no, no, no,
it's still two down.

Come on, Deck, I mean,
the Bruins just ain't
playing right today.

What are you saying?

Nah, it's just,
you know.

No, I don't know.

You trying to get
out of the bet?
No, I...

You been
shoveling money

into Marvin's pocket
the past 20 minutes.

Now you tell me
you want out
of our bet?

Is that what you're
asking me to do?

Look, I'm just
saying they ain't
playing right.

That's all
I'm saying.
No, no, no.

Don't tell me about
"They ain't playing right."

Just tell me
if you want out of the bet.

Hey, look, I just
want the Bruins

to play right,
that's all.

No, no.
You want the bet or not?

No, let's call
it off, okay?

For you, Zigala, anything.

All right, everybody hold it
a goddamn minute!

I wouldn't
let him out
of that bet.

That was a
stupid bet.

You're lucky
you weren't

betting with
me, Zigala.

Hey, hey, never
call me by my name.

Don't you ever call
me by my name when
you talk to me!

Hey, Richie, get some
Frosty Malts for everybody.

Get one for yourself, too.
Go, go. Go, go, go, go!

What are you doing?
You're letting...

What the hell
are you doing?
Calm down, Marvin.

Come on, a guy makes a bet,
he has to stand behind it.

Hey, why don't
you mind your
own business?

Stay out
of this, Zig.
You'll get your turn.

Now look,
it's not exactly...

We're gambling here.

I know,
but this isn't Vegas.

Well, it ain't Uncle Fuck's
Tickle Hut either!

Marvin, look, Zig and I
have been betting

together for 20 years.
No, you don't understand.
It's a bad example, okay?

You're letting him out of a bet,
so what does that mean, huh?

If I want to be a good guy,
I got to let him out of the bet?

I never asked...
Zig.

You ain't got to
be a good guy.

Okay, well, it's
tough enough playing

with these nickel-
and-dimers here.
I am not a ni...

I'm just trying to make
a couple of dollars here, okay?

So for you to let these guys
out of a bet

it's fucking ludicrous.

What can I tell you?

Start an off-park
betting service.

I come here
because I can't lose, okay?

Otherwise I'd be
at the fucking track.

Come on, loser!

Bruin fans, it's time
for that old standby...

Eagles suck!

Eagles suck! Eagles suck!

Eagles suck! Eagles suck!

Eagles suck! Eagles suck!
Eagles suck!

Now batting for the Bruins,
Jesus Corrales.

You used to throw
that hard.

Hey, Decker, okay,
look, let's quit
putzing around, huh?

What do you say you and
me make a serious bet
on this game here, huh?

I mean, you like
your boys, right?

You still like them
three runs down?

Come on, what
do you say?

A little action,
just you and me?

I don't know.

What, you think
you can take me?

You're three runs down.
What do you want, hmm?

I'll give you eight to five.
Nine to five.

$900, my $900, against
your $500, right now.

Mm...

Two to fucking one.
My thousand against your $500.

You know,
Marvin...
Make me a bet!

...they say gambling
is a disease.

And when it reaches
its terminal stages

there are signs, like the veins
in your forehead throbbing

when you're telling me
these odds.

Oh, you're the
surgeon fucking
general now!

Those little veins going,
"eight to five, nine to five!"

They got
inoculations

for things like that.

Come on!

Bruins got the power!

Bruins got the power!

Bruins got the power.

Hold it!

This section!

What are you doing?

We need your hearts.

Without you,
this tribe will not survive.

Here's five bucks.
Bump up the medication.

I'm a Bruins fan!

I cannot be bought.

Here, then get an enema.

I'll be back.

And you better be ready,
because we got work to do.

Working for the Bruins

every night
and day, 24/7.

And that's going to be
the score

because we're going to put
our hittin' shoes on

and murder these bums!

Shit!

Eagles suck!

Eagles suck! Eagles suck!

Hey, you know what I
like about that guy

is he's dedicated,
you know?
I'll say.

That's what happens
when the fetus

doesn't get
enough air.

Okay, Frosty Malts.
Who gets one?

Oh, I would love
a Frosty Malt.
Okay.

Give me a fucking Frosty Malt.

One for Marvin
in the back.

Go ahead,
here, for Greg.

Put it in his hand.

Richie, put it
in his hand!

I ain't going to have
one, then.

So you'll get another...
Frosty Malts, yo!

He's over there.
But put it in
his hand first.

Go, go, go,
go, go!

Thanks, Richie.

Mr. D?

Yeah?

This Frosty Malt
doesn't have a spoon.

All right, use mine.

What'll you use?

I got another.

Thanks.

All right, I'm thinking of
making a score bet here.

Who wants a piece of it?

Why don't we just watch
the game for a while?

...Chico Gonzalez.

You ever been inside
the scoreboard, Decker?

Sure.

Bullshit.

What's it like?
Yeah!

Greg, what happened?

Ground out.
Six-three.

Okay, what's it like
inside the scoreboard?

Well, it's like
Heaven, Richie.

The last stop
where they add up

all the runs,
hits and errors.

Where do you come
up with this crap?

You know what, Marvin?

Just to make sure
you don't have a stroke

how much you want
to bet St. Louis

doesn't score
in this inning?

Fifteen hundred dollars.

I'm trying to make a
friendly wager here.

I don't want to put
my car into hock.

You're an
asshole, Keough!

Okay, okay, okay,
Diamond Jim.

There's one away.
The odds are in your favor.

What do you want to go?

Ke-ogh! A-hole!

Two-to-one on a sawbuck
they don't score.

Four-to-one.
Two and a half.

Make it three.
Two and three
quarters.

Stop fucking around!
Okay, if you want the bet
it's three-to-one.

Okay, okay,
three-to-one,
sawbuck.

You're saying
St. Louis scores.

Right.
And I'm saying
they don't.

Right, and you're
giving me odds.

Yeah, I know, just to keep
me honest, I got it.

You're an embarrassment.

Okay, okay,
that's two outs.
This looks like

a sure thing now.

I'll take
the same bet.

You ain't taking
nothing.
I got money.

Wait, you ready
for the big time, Richie?

Huh? You can handle this?

I can handle it.
I don't know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what?

Just hold on to your
lunch money, Richie, huh?

Let the men bet.
Eat it, Marv.

How much is
a sawbuck, Richie?

I know how much it is.

Three to one Eagles don't score,
a sawbuck.

I'll take your bet, Richie.

Don't do that, Joey.

You don't know how
it works up here.

Course I know how it works.
You're on, brother.

All right, let it go, Deck.

Hey, you got your
kid, you got your
lucky scorekeeper.

It's a regular
battle of titans.

Excuse me!
Excu--

Where's the
bleacher
entrance?

Okay, great,
thanks.

Okay,
two away.

Who's up,
Greg?

Lincoln,
the pitcher.

Looks like I got you, Marv.

Looks like I
got you, Joey.

I don't know.
He's a pretty good
hitting pitcher.

Throw it back! Throw it back!

Why do they
throw the
ball back?

Don't they want
to keep it for
a souvenir?

Lady, when somebody
shits in your hat

you gotta let them
know what time it is.

That's true.

Mr. D, you watch my stuff
for me?

But they're still up.

They're not going to be
when I get back.

All right, get me
a beer, would you?

Sure, no problem.
Here you go.

Anybody else
want anything?

No.

Move, now I can't see.

Twenty bucks he brings you
a cheese sandwich.

Yeah.

As long as it's
got a head on it.

Shouldn't somebody
go with him maybe?

Oh, don't worry,
he'll be all right.

Unless you
want to go.

No, I don't know him.

Marvin, here you go.
I'll get you next time.

Thirty bucks.
I'm rich.

Oh...

Wait. Thirty? What?

That's three to one
on $10.

That's 30 bucks,
Richie.

Wait, no, no, no.

Three to one
on a saw--

Richie, I tried
to tell you.

Why did you
take that bet?

I took the bet because I thought
I was going to win.

Yeah, but you didn't.

What can I tell you?

I don't have
the Midas touch.

You can't win 'em all.

I just lost 30 bucks
because of you.

Thanks, Richie.

I hate to say it,
but I lost, too.

Yeah, I know, but
you've got money.

You can afford it.
I don't.

Hey, you want to wager
a buck or two here or there

you know
I'll play with you.

But I'm always telling you
not to get involved

when I'm betting
with guys like this.

So, you jumped up
and got burned?

Now you know
how it feels.

Meanwhile, why don't you
just stick to keeping score?

Why don't you
stick it, Decker!

Oh, shit.

I asked you
not to bet
with him.

I know, I got it.

Relax, Deck,
your kid's
a winner.

It's nice to
have one in
the family.

:
I can do what I want.

Richie?

Richie!

First up for the Bruins,
Kyle Riddick.

Mr. D?

Riddick, you putz!
I got it, I got it.

See? Now this is
exactly the point.

This is how the American League
ruined Riddick, you know?

Because he can't
bunt, he can't...

Still think we're going
to get 35,000 people?

Uh, about 31 or 32
right now, with more coming.

What do you do?
Count their feet
and divide by two?

No, I can feel 'em.
Here's your change.

No, wait a second,
what is that?

What's the bill?

Oh, it's a...

it's... gone.

No, come on,
what is it?

It's a five.

Oh, very good,
I'm impressed.

Come on,
Sammy!

Come on!

Streak, streak, streak.

You can do it.
Let's go, Sammy.

Come on, Sam, you
can do it, baby!

Come on, Sammy!

Excuse me?

How did you do that
with the bill?

Oh, that's easy.

Lincoln has a beard.

Washington has
wavy hair.

Jackson has
bushy eyebrows.

And Hamilton
is looking
to the right...

Come on, come on.

If it wasn't a five,
that means

the lady
at the beer stand

ripped off
a blind guy.

All right, babes, come
on, hit it in there!

Herb!

Holy shit.

Herb?

Say, Herb,
you've got company.

Rose, what's the matter?
What happened?

Is there something wrong?

Look, if you're going
to come down here every day

and just throw our money away,
I'm at least entitled

to come down here sometimes
and watch you do it.

Excuse me.

Don't be silly.

Do you have to
talk so loud?

Was I talking loud?

Sit down!

She's going
to sit down.

Please, sit down.

You can't sit
there, though.

You gotta sit
someplace else.

Herb, I can sit here.

I'm sitting here.

No, actually, you can't

see, because, uh...

a friend is sitting
there, and I'm sav...

Oh, here he is,
here he is.

Hello, Richie!

Richie, this is
my wife, Rose.

Rose, this is Richie.

Richie just went
to get me a beer...
a-a-a root beer.

Uh, Richie...

Rich, where you going?

I saved your seat.

What are you talking about?

I'm sitting up here
next to Marvin.

Don't be a prick, buddy.

Herb, you're
missing the game.

Yeah, Herb.

I'm not missing nothing,
and don't call me that.

I came down to find out

how much money you threw away
this afternoon.

What are you talking about?

I didn't throw away nothing.

I don't know, Herb.

Now batting for the Bruins,
Dayton Green.

Mean Green! Mean Green!

Hey, Richie, listen, I know
you didn't understand that bet

so we can just forget
the whole thing.

I'll give you
your money back.

A bet's a bet;
I pay my debts.

Ain't no welcher
like some people.

Hey, who are you
calling a welcher

you little pinhead?

Listen, I been betting
here for 20 years.

I never welched on a bet,
even when I've had
big losses, and...

Zig...
Not today.

Not today.

Good.

Good, then I guess
we can just sit here

and watch the game.

Sure, yeah.
Good.

Hey, Zig,
there's your boy Green.

I bet he don't reach.

I'll tell you
what I'm going to do

and you know
that this isn't like me.

He's been reaching all day.

I bet you
for the next ten seconds only

that this guy don't reach.

Even money, huh?

Five seconds.

Three...

two...

I guess
you didn't hear him.

He's not betting.

He's not interested.

I'm sorry.
Hey, hey, hey.

I'm terribly sorry.
Hey, don't do that.

Don't tell him I'm
not interested.

I'm interested.

If I want to wager
with this man

that's exactly what
I'm going to do.

But I choose not to, and it's
not betting, it's a science.

You've got to work
on it every day...

While you
come down here

and piss our money
down some bottomless toilet

I'm home working.

Oh, you're working?

Oh, no, no, no--
I work, I work.

Now you're saying
I don't work?

You believe
that I don't work?

That's not
what I'm saying.

I said I earn the money.

...and if I want to
come here and bet it

that's what I'm going to do.

And I say he reaches!

He grounded out.
You see that, Rose?!

That's money! That's money!
You cost me money!

That was money
in the bank!

Zig, you would
have lost.

I come here to relax.

I come down here
to one place where
I can be myself.

Zig!

What?!

He made out;
you would have lost.

Well, then I bet the
next guy reaches.

50 bucks.

$50?

That's right,
50 bucks.

Who the fuck
is up, Greg?

Manzanilla.

Eagles number two
hitter.

Oh, shit, that's
the wrong team.

Uh...

Then I bet
he don't reach.

Yeah, I'll bet
two to one.

I'll go
three to one.

I don't think it's wise for me

to get involved
at this juncture.

How much was that bet?

Richie...

50 bucks.

Three to one?

You can only win $50,
and you're going to lose $150...

Well, thanks
for your support.

...in this five minutes.

Do you know what we could do
with $150 every five minutes?

Why don't you
tell me, Rose?

What, buy more fancy
paperweights?

Now batting, Luis Manzanilla.

That storm's
getting closer.

Does a walk
count as a reach?

Yes.

I'll take that bet,
Zigala.

I'll bet with you.

Fifty?

For a ten.
A sawbuck.

All right, all right!

Oh, wait,
wait, wait, wait...

Oh, no, no, no, you're
on, you're in the book.

All right, let's go,
this guy is easy.

Come on,
let's take him out.

A hit! A hit, I won!

Pay up, Zigala.

There goes
the first 150.

What are you
talking about?

That's not $150.

That's only three to one
on a sawbuck; that's $30.

I just saved us $120.

Come on, come on,
come on...

Marvin, I won.

I don't know, Decker.

Looks a little tragic today.

I smell a shutout.

It's still early yet,
Marvin.

What, do you think those loxes

are going to win this game?

Huh, they're going to pull
through; this is their year?

This is the year.

Want to know
what your problem is, Decker?

You got no balls.

Oh, please.

You got balls.

You know what I told him?

I'd give him two to one--
my thousand against his 500.

And he didn't take it?
Not Mr. Bruin.

Come on, Turner!

Turner, yes!

I'd even make it 11 to five.

11 to five,
and he ain't gonna take it.

You're betting 11 to
five on the Eagles?

What are you doing?

No action from this guy.

He squeezes a nickel so
hard, the buffalo shits.

Batting for the Eagles,
Michael McGuinn.

This is a big at-bat.

You're going down, McGuinn,
you're going down.

It isn't really his money.

See, he books this little
nickel-and-dime stuff.

Two dollars here,
four dollars there.

So he's really playing
with someone else's money.

That's why he's
so cautious, see?

It's really little-old-lady
money, isn't it, Decker?

"The buffalo shits!"

I'll make it 13

to fucking five, are you happy?

Oh, shit,
take the five!

You'd have to be
some kind of a schmuck

not to take that.

I'd take it,
but he doesn't have the guts.

Yeah. Well, no,
I know what it is.

You know what?
He just can't cover it.

You know how many bats and balls

Mr. Bruin would have to
sell to cover that big?

You know what, Marvin?

I'm going to take your money.

But you have the odds wrong.

What do you want?

No odds; even money.

How much?

Two grand.

Oh, you're down!

All right, let's go!

Come on, Kyle!
Come on, Kyle!

Throw that third strike,
throw it, baby!

Come on, baby!

Come on!

Strike three!

Time! Bring it in!

Oh, it's really
raining hard, Rose.

Yeah.

I bet you they
call the game.

You should go home.

What, in this rain?

Are you going home?

What, are you kidding?

No, I'm going to stick
around just in case.

I'll stay too, then.

Well, far be it from me
to tell you what to do.

I'll be right back.

All right, who
thinks they're going
to call the game?

Come on, I got even
money they call it.

You like that, Richie?
Huh?

She got the kind of ass

that would make a bishop
kick out a stained glass window.

She is so beautiful.

You're a man of means now.

You think you can get
a broad like that?

I don't think
so, Marvin.

Huh, yeah? You looking
for a little more action?

Sure.

I'll bet you ten bucks

you can't get
her phone number.

Ten bucks.

I don't care what you do.

I don't give a shit
what you say.

Ten bucks.

You're on.

Okay. Go get her, baby.

You need any help, or...

No, thanks.

Can I... I mean, it's
kind of wet, but...

No, thanks, it's fine.

No, thanks.

I just left Joey
standing there...

Decker, check this out.

I believe these two
have a future.

Like Gore and Lieberman.

Hey, got a light?

No.

I'll bet you he scores.

:
A score bet? Sure.

Even money, sawbuck,
he doesn't have a chance.

Even money? We're talking
about Richie here.

Ten to one.

I'll take
half of that.

You got a light?

You don't even know
what they're betting on!

Never you mind.
I'm in.

In? You're insane!

You think he has
any chance to...?

Not even worth
talking about.

Okay, listen, if you see Joey,
tell him I'm looking for him.

Yeah, yeah.

Hey, you got a light?

Mmm... God bless you,
you're a beautiful man.

You're a real crime fighter.

Come on out of there,
you cowards!

Execrable vermin!

Here I am, Mr. Inevitable!

Here I am, your fate is sealed!

And your pain
will be unbearable

because you failed, failed,
failed in your chosen field!

Eagles suck!

That's why you suck!

When I was I kid
I talked about
playing ball.

I dreamed about
the major leagues,
you know?

Dad, I was a kid.

I just liked
playing baseball.

And now it's not
like I just want
to be an artist.

I am in love with jazz.

You know, that music,
my guys, my band.

You know, I'm not a kid.

It's who I am,
it's what I do.

Why are you so
afraid of that?

The numbers don't add up.

It's a bad bet.

Oh, this is coming
from Mr. $2,000-
on-a-Game-Bet?

That's the point.

That's just a game.

Exactly, Dad,
that's a game!

I'm asking you to bet on me.

Fascists!

Come back here!

Herb, look,
I made egg salad for us.

Rose, when you're
at the ballpark

you don't eat egg
salad sandwiches.

You eat hot dogs.

I'm going to go
get a hot dog.

You want something?

No, I've got egg salad,
I guess.

Did you make it
with the celery?

Yeah.

I like it with the
celery, but it's wrong.

It's just wrong.

Okay, don't tell me

'cause I'm really
usually pretty good at this.

Actress?

And I teach Tae-bo.

I could see that.

Did you ever do
one of those infomercials?

No. I was up for one.

I didn't get it though.

That's ridiculous.

Yeah. Probably 'cause
I don't have an agent.

Well, I could help you
with that.

I could. I mean,
I talk to people

all the time, you know?

Maybe I could bring them

to see you teach,
or something like that.

There's this girl who used
to do this fitness show

um, late night
on the sports channel.

She's now the new Isis,
you know?

And those girls in those
aerobics competitions--

they're doing
music videos

and all that
kind of stuff...

I couldn't help you if my life
depended on it, I'm sorry.

That's okay. I...

I actually do
those aerobic competitions.

Oh, that's great.

Did you ever win?

All I ever won was this
home entertainment system.

It's still in the middle
of my living room floor.

There's, like,
wires everywhere.

I don't know how
to hook it up.

Well, I could help you
with that.

No, that's okay.

Like, stereo equipment
is my hobby.

I've hooked up
all the people in my building.

Really?

Oh, yeah,
there's a note

on the bulletin board
in the lobby

that says if you want something
hooked up, call...

And I'm great with particle
board furniture, too.

I really, I'm...
I would love to do that for you.

Really?
Yeah, I would.

Thank you,
that'd be great.

Thank you.

Sure.

Well, good.

You know, I should probably
get your phone number

because then I could
call you...
Sure.

...and we could just
set up a time for me...

Yeah. Do you have
a pen or anything?

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay.

Pencil.

Great.

Marvin, have
you seen Joey?

You're on a real
losing streak, Decker.

First the Bruins,
now your kid, huh?

I got it, Marvin.

Yeah, you got it.

You're hot!

All right, Decker,
what was that,
ten to one?

Unbelievable.

What was that?

Well, your boy
Decker here

bet that you
couldn't get
Barbie's number.

All right, there's
ten for you

and another ten
for your sore cojones.

You bet against me, Deck?

What? It was just a bet.

Yeah, but you bet against me.

How come?

Because I thought you couldn't.

A lot of guys probably
couldn't get her number.

That was a bet?

Oh, shit.

You hand jobs
were betting on me?

And you, you little...

Give me that!

I'd rather throw
the stereo out the
frickin' window

than have you
anywhere near me!

Honey, take it easy.

You want to make a bet?

How's this?

A hundred bucks.

You call me honey again

and I'll kick you
in the fucking balls.

Get a grip, it was
a friendly wager.

Go ahead

call me honey.

Call me honey!

:
A hundred bucks!

Go ahead, call me sweetie,
honey, sugar baby, I don't care.

You think I don't
have the money?

I got it right here!

I'll kick you
in the fucking balls.

Shit.

What's the matter?

My wallet's gone.

I hate you.

I hate you!

I hate both... all of you!

Richie...

You know
what I think?

Don't even talk
about it.

I'm just looking
for my wallet.

Oh, hi...
I-I found a wallet.

You did?

Yeah, I-I have it here.

Thank you.

You're welcome. I didn't...

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Are you okay?

Yeah, um...

Thank you.

You've been very nice.

What's wrong?

Are you there?

I'm here.

It's just that...

today was supposed
to be the day.

It was supposed
to be my big chance.

I mean, I made
a deal with myself.

It's going to
sound so stupid...

Do you have an umbrella?

No.

Oh, well, sit down.

So... you made
a deal with yourself.

If I got on camera today...

If the camera picked me
out of the crowd...

like Pamela Anderson.

What happened
with Pamela Anderson?

She was at a football game...

and she was beautiful
and she was glamorous and...

a cameraman was looking through
the crowd and he picked her...

a face on the big screen, and...

Oh, it's like-it's like
Lana Turner at Schwab's.

Who?

Lana Turner...
it's not important.

So if the camera
picked you today, what?

You know what...
it doesn't matter.

I think the universe
is trying to tell me that...

it's time to give up.

And I've got to go.

Oh. Well, it was nice
to meet you, Miss...?

Melody.

Miss Melody.

I-I'm Greg.

Hi.

You know, it's going
to clear up soon--

I know it doesn't
look like it--

a-and they're going
to play ball again.

Maybe you should stay.

I can't stay.

Why not?

Because your friends
made a bet on me...

and... I kind of lost it.

Yeah, that's
what they do.

Can you hold this
just for a second?

You know,
that's how I met them.

If you can believe it,
th-they made a bet on me, too.

:
It was... they...

I went to get a beer
and they all switched seats

and then they bet on-on
how fast I would notice it.

It was very embarrassing.

Do you know why
these guys sit up here

in the bleachers every day?

No.

Torture... pure and simple.

You know, this team has not
won a World Series since 1908.

A-And they haven't been
in a World Series since 1945.

It's...

it's pathetic, really.

Yeah.

Hey, kid.

You know C.P.R.?

Yeah, why?

Get up here, quick.

What is it?

Who needs C.P.R.?

Get up here
and I'll tell you.

Come on, hurry up.

Come on, you can
go faster than that.

Now watch your head.
Watch your head.

Come on in. Come on in.

Look out. Look out.

Now, you see this
guy over here?

He's about to have
a heart attack.

Watch this.

Four.

That's 12 in a row!

12 in a row.

It's driving him nuts.

Actually, it's not
that big a deal to me

and that's driving
him nuts.

Oh, right, yeah, yeah.

He's dying inside.

Victor, in the great scheme
of things

what does it really mean?

Well, I'll tell you
what it means, Billy.

It means 12
in a goddamn row.

And that ties the record.

Your record.

And now I'm going to break it.

Yes, records are made
to be broken.

And I-I'll tell you something...
I am pulling for you, buddy.

I really hope you get it.

Bullshit!

Are you trying to do a number
on my skull?

If I wanted to do
a mind job on you

I could do a mind job on you.

You ain't got
the brains

to do a mind job
on me.
Guys...

Guys, uh...
this is really

thrilling
but I think

I'm just going
to let you do your thing here.

Thrilling?
This is history!

Oh, what's the matter, pal?

Not enough about you?

Can't stand not being
the center of the universe?

Come on, who invited who
up here?

Hey, hey, kid

don't let him get to you.

It's tough on his nerves

going for the record.

Yeah? Tough this.

Hold up the sign.

Hold it up.

You know, the thing
about a streak

is that it
makes you...

forget... that there's a natural
ebb and flow to the game.

Yeah, a guy

doesn't blow a save all year
until the World Series.

It's an eight.

Who knows what kills
a winning streak?

Is it luck?
Is it fate?

Yeah?

You got to respect
the ebb and the flow.

That's what makes the game
new and different every day.

Baltimore. Two in the fourth.

Come on, I want
to show you something.

Look out there.

What do you see?

Empty field?

Well, that's funny,
because when I look out there

I see Cap Anson
knocking out his
3,000th hit.

I see "Three-fingered" Mordecai
Brown striking out the side.

I see Tinkers to Evers
to Chance.

I'm sorry, guys

it's just a rain
delay to me.

Here, just, t-take...
take a...

take another look.

Take-take
a good look.

You remember that shot
Clemente hit that one time?

Oh, you should have seen that,
kid.

Went past here
like a Scud missile.

Ah, forget
about it, Victor.

He don't see nothing.

Yeah.

All right, well,
thank you very
much for coming.

And that's as close
as anybody's ever come

to hitting the scoreboard.

Roberto Clemente.

He was such a great player.

It's too bad he played
for Pittsburgh.

The Bruins haven't
won a World Series
since when?

1908.

Hey, it's clearing up.

How do you do that?

Do what?

See things.

Oh, I just pay attention.

Are you psychic?

:
I have been known
to predict the future.

Like what?

Well, just today,
for instance

I predicted...

that you would come back
for your wallet.

Come on, you know
what I mean.

And that you would stay
for the whole game.

So you really
think the Bruins
are going to win?

No. I don't know.
Absolutely.

Well, we wouldn't
want to miss that.

Let me just get this straight.

You lost $50
while the game was stopped

because you bet

that that boy couldn't get
that girl's phone number?

Look, just
leave me alone, Rose.

No, Zig, you got
to give it a shot.

Hey, Silkie,
remember Cincinnati?

Sorry.

It's okay, Miss King.

Don't worry about it.

Enjoy the game.

Have a nice seat.

All right,
it's a new ball game.

Fortunately,
same old Bruins.

Aw, look at this.

Where did you get
all the cushions,
you pussies?

Hey, Richie, what
did you pay for
that cushion?

Five dollars.

Yeah?

Here's a ten.
Go get a hat.

Greggy, who's leading off?

Hale.

Okay, Hale, we're due.

Isn't this your lucky seat,
though?

Wherever I sit
today is lucky.

Darren Hale!

Hale to the Chief!

Let's go, Darren.
Come on. Start it off.

All right, Marvin

just to show
how wrong you are

I'm offering a reach bet
right out of the gate.

Three to one

this first guy gets on,
double sawbuck.

My three to your one,
you got it.

I'll take the same bet, Marvin.

Hold on a second, honey.

What are you betting?

That our man is going
to get on base?

That's right, Rose.

How much?

20 dollars.

All right, all right.

'Cause I got a twenty here

that says he's not going
to make it.

What the hell
you doing, Rose?

Anybody going to take it?

20 dollars.
Now, put that
money down.

Put the money down.

Richie, do you want
to bet with me?

You want to bet with me
for $20?

Uh-huh.

Uh, for three to one?

Whatever is the opposite
of his.

You're on.
Okay, you're on.

Hey, you lost
your cherry.

I did quite a long time
ago, actually.

What's the
matter with you?

Don't you see
what you're doing?

I'm betting one
way with Marvin.

You're betting
the other way
with this bum.

You're canceling
me out.

Honey, somebody's got
to protect our money.

No, but you
can't do that.

Well, yes
I can.

I just did.

Come on, Hale.

I think
it's $60.

Are you
happy, Rose?

Are you happy?

You see
this, Rose?

You see Marvin
putting money
in my hand.

What are
you doing?

You're putting money
in Richie's hand.

What did you
protect there?

:
MVP! MVP! MVP! MVP!

MVP! MVP!

Okay, it's homer time.

We're climbing back in this one.

This is our inning.

It's time for the home run sign.

Fingers in the air.

Send the vibe to Manny.

Hey.

Hey.

No.

Don't slobber on it.

Give us the ball.

Arriba! Abajo!

Al Centro!
Para Dentro!

Arriba! Abajo!
Al Centro! Para Dentro!

Arriba! Abajo!
Al Centro! Para Dentro!

Arriba! Abajo!
Al Centro! Para Dentro!

Arriba! Abajo!
Al Centro! Para Dentro!

Did you hear that, Marvin?

It's all going to hell for you!

You're going down.

The sweat is pouring
down your brow!

Did you hear that?

That's the sound
of the home field advantage!

All I hear is 35,000 people

about to get their hearts
broken.

It's over!

Next up for the Bruins,
Jesus Corrales.

We love you, Corrales!

.471 slugging
percentage

when he takes
the first pitch.

Really?

This year.

Strike? You
tub of lard!

Were you blind
from birth?

No, actually.

Safe!

Nice play, Keough!

I got furniture
can jump higher than you.

You heard me.

Your party is over.

They're pulling their pitcher.

Oh, it don't matter
who's pitching.

Now it's a matter of destiny.

Take a shower, butthead,
'cause you stink!

Destiny, Zig?

I bet they don't score
another run.

Well, but man on second,
and nobody out? How much?

Let's go 50 bucks.
You're on.

I hate to do it,
but I'm with Marvin

and I got 50 bucks
that says they don't score.

Rose!
How about it, Richie?

Do you want to bet?
I don't know.

Who's the new pitcher, Greg?
Anatoni.

Is he any good?
I don't know.

He has a 5.41 ERA,
and he hangs his curve ball.

You're on.

Who's that?
Who said that?

I said that.

I'm Greg.

I'm Rupert.

What's happening
out there?

They pulled the starting pitcher

and the new guy's not
that great, according to Rupert.

Now pitching for the Eagles

number 47, Rick Anatoni.

Come on, buddy, let's go.
Come on.

:
Oh.

Oh!

That's the worse bunt
I've ever seen.

Any player that can't
lay down a sacrifice

should be shot and fined.

All right, all right.

Two away. We can
still get it going.

Ozu will get us going.

What, are you kidding?

He's like one
for his last 30.

He's making the Mendoza line
look good.

Mendoza line?

Mario Mendoza was
a shortstop

in the '70s and '80s.

He batted .200

in the National League
Championship Series.

Which is not good.
I thought it was the
'60s, '70s, and '80s.

No, '70s and '80s
I think he started
in 1968.

That's what
I thought.
When you cross
the Mendoza line

you bat over .200...

The Mendoza line
is not .200.

It's a floating line.

It's whatever
that fellow is hitting.

Who gives a shit?
He's dead.

He's not dead.

Even if he's dead,
he's not dead.

There will always
be a Mendoza line.

And there will always be people

who will never be able
to cross it.

And that'll be Ozu.

Oh, man!

One for the team.

Hey, there's
more than one way

to skin a cat,
hey, Marvin, huh?

Next batter, the catcher,
Scott Sheffield.

:
Sheff! Sheff! Sheff! Sheff...

Let's go, Scotty!

Listen...

we can help Sheffield out there.

Devious but effective.

Take these.

Use these
on every pitch.

Keough won't hear the crack
of the bat.

He'll get a lousy jump
on the ball.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, all right, I'm in.

Hey, you can't do that.

No, I want
that one.
No, I...

Just exchange them.

Okay, here.

All right,
okay, fine.

When I drop my arm.

What's your problem?!

♪ Humiliation, humiliation ♪

♪ You will never find the ball ♪
Look.

You got help.

You'll always need help.

All of your life.

Go, go, go!

It's too late.

Inside-the-park homer.

You're putrid, Keough!

You give garbage a bad name!

Nice!

You all did
very well.

Give me back
the noisemakers.

Yeah!

Oh-ho.

Very well done.

Thanks for that.

Very well done.

There's the
chicken.

Hey, Marvin...

Now batting, the pitcher...

Wow!

That's a hell
of a system you
got there, Rose.

You think they
got a chance?

Oh, anything's possible.

Yeah!

New ball game.

Four-four.

Now batting
for the Eagles...

Man, I thought
I hated this guy, Keough.

You're brutal.

Oh, you want
to see brutal?

When that bum Keough
comes back out here

I'm going to
make him climb
the vines.

Yeah, to wring your neck,
you whack job.

He doesn't
believe me.

You can do this?

You can get that busher
to climb the vines?

Hey, you want to make a bet
on that, Decker?

Oh, wait a second there, Marvin.

I'm consulting.

Look me in the eye.

Tell me he'll climb the vines.

Like Cheetah going
for a banana.

50 bucks he climbs.

Oh, you're in the book.

And you talk to me
about stupid bets?

Oh, come on, come on.

Let's go.

One pitch wonder.

Very nice.

Next batter, Chico Gonzalez.

He's no hitter!

Come on, you got him!

Come on now!

Yeah!

Two pitches, two outs.

This is fantastic.

Way to go!

Hey, Decker,
where's your son?

He'll be back.

Want to make a bet
on that?

He'll be back.

C-note says he's long gone.

You're covered.

Next batter, Silvio Rodriguez.

Oh, man.

I'm going to go
to the bathroom.

Anybody want anything?

What do I
want from
the bathroom?

Here he comes.

Leading off for the Bruins

center fielder Sammy Barnes.

Hey, Keough.
Hey, farm boy!

Dr. Blumwasser
is looking for you.

When are you going
to pay him

that six grand
you owe him?

Those steroids aren't
free, you know.

Hey, six grand,
you deadbeat.

All for a little muscle tone

you could have got
with some hard work.

You cheap
sandlot
hillbilly.

Is that true?

Oh, it's all true.

Hey, farm boy!

He hates that name.

How do you know
he hates that name?

Well, I got to come
to the ball yard

as prepared as the players--
I listen to the radio.

So do I listen
to the radio.

Well, that's good,
but I got satellite--

All right, all right.

I use satellite hookups,
so I got 74

sports talk radio shows.

Next batter, Dayton Green.

Mean Green! Mean Green!

I read the roster books,
Bill James

Who's Who in Baseball.

No, not you, scumbag.

You rate two chapters
of Who Sucks in Baseball.

Plus, I got farm boy's TRW
off the Internet.

You wouldn't believe
this kid's credit rating.

It's unbelievable.

Go, go, go.

Slide! Slide!

See that?

That's called baseball.

He was out.

Safe by five feet.

Way to go.
Hey, Keough!

The steroids aren't working.
Get your money back.

The only thing that got bigger
is your ass!

Hail to the Chief.

Holy shit,
he's looking back, Marv.

Come on, we got
to double that bet.

I'm not betting
any more this inning.

I'm watching
the fucking game.

Ooh, now he's
watching the game.

The fucking game.

Whoa, here it comes.

It's your moment.

This is it.

Your life isn't worth living!

Way to go, Keough.

I hear you're being traded
for a case of Gatorade.

And a batboy
to be named later.

You bush-league bum!

Hey, how's Ruthie?

All together now:

How's Ruthie?

One... two...

Leave him alone.

...three.

How's Ruthie?

Who's Ruthie?

Oh, come on,
you know.

Little redheaded Ruthie,
back in your hotel room.

Pick it up, asshole.

Throw home!
Oh, yeah!

Go back to Ruthie,
you fat ass.

She's waiting for you
back at the hotel.

What'd you do?
Leave her tied
to the bed?

Maybe I can recommend
a lawyer for you

'Cause I hear your
mother-in-law's

coming in from Tucson.

Even she knows
about Ruthie.

And you thought nobody
was going to find out.

Hell, your wife, Bonnie, knows.

Your next-door neighbors,
the Finkels, know.

Oh!

Your dog,
Muffy, knows.

I know, we all know.

What do we know?

That Ruthie's got the...

Ruthie's got the...

Ruthie's got the...

Rowland's got the...

Your mama's
got the...

Your mama's got the...

Come on, baby,
come on, baby.

Come on, you fucker, huh?

Like a cheetah, Keough,
like a monkey.

Oh, God!

Look what they
did to the foliage.

Go back to St. Louis.

You bastard.

Yeah!

Beautiful.

Ruthie, Ruthie...

Unbelievable.

Okay, Marvin,
that's 50 bucks.

This isn't baseball.
It's a fucking circus.

Here you go,
my friend.

You earned it.

No, no, that
one's on me.

Well, you know, strange
things can happen

when we play St.
Louis, Marvin.

Back in '57, there were
two balls on the field.

I remember that,
but that was '59,
not '57, remember?

Yeah, right. Remember when
Pulaski hit that umpire

with the throw from
center field?

Not Pulaski,
Clark.

Yeah, hit him right
in the head.

No, he hit him

in the rear end.

Well, maybe his head
was up his ass

'cause I know
where he hit him.
Do you want to bet?

With her, I don't bet.

What? Just 'cause
I don't like the betting

doesn't mean
I don't like the game.

All right, let's do something.

Oh, double play!

Did you see
that, Blinky?

No.

What is your problem?

Oh, wait, don't tell
me you're buying that
blind crap, huh?

He's been staring
at your tits for
six innings.

You could do
Shakespeare off
that balcony.

Am I right?

Next batter, Harry Washington.

What?

You're not going
to kick me in the
balls, are you?

Oh, it's
a possibility.

Ooh...

It's all right,
we drew blood.

You did good.

It's a run, baby!

What a performance.

I couldn't
do nothing
without him.

All right,
come on.

Joey, I thought
you left.

No, I was just getting
some beer.

Oh. Bad news
for Marvin.

What do you mean?

Dad put a c-note on
you coming back.

A c-note?

And Marvin bet
against me, did he?

Okay, you know, you can do me
a fucking favor, okay?

You go back in there,
and you tell Marvin

that he just won
himself $100.

All right?
You do that for me?

Yeah.

Thanks.

Next batter, right fielder
Rowland Keough.

:
Ke-ogh, A-hole.

:
Ke-ogh, A-hole.

:
Ke-ogh, A-hole.

Ke-ogh...

A-hole?

What else?

That's inspired.

Ke-ogh, A-hole, Ke-ogh, A-hole

Ke-ogh, A-hole,
Ke-ogh, A-hole...

Quiet, people!

Time out!

Ke-ogh...

Listen to that.
Isn't that beautiful?

Look what you started.

We started.

Ke-ogh...

Keough, 30,000 people think
you suck!

Ke-ogh, A-hole...

Check this out.

Oh, Jesus.
Oh, you have no scruples.

I admire that in a man.

All right, listen,
first of all

that is illegal,
and you can't just...

But I must.
And I shall.

Bravo!

Well, at least we're
done with that guy.

That's right,
we are.

Hey, you!

Let's go.

Officer, this man was
personally responsible

for the Bruins' rally.

Am I right?

And if he goes, I go.

Fine with me.
You, too.

Oh, shit.

Then I go, too.

Me, too.

Me, too.

Officer, take her.

Take them all.

Yes, yes, yes.

All right, all right.

I'm clearing
the section.

No.

No!

I'll go quietly.

I shall return.

Keep the faith.

Never give up.

We're number one.

I love you all.

We love you.
You're the best.

We few.

We happy few.

We band of brothers.

Never put pineapples in Jell-O.

Ich bin ein Bruin.

You're out of
your fricking mind

you Commie bastard!

I am the walrus.

Eagles suck!

Come up
with a new cheer

after they let you
out of prison.

All right, let's go.
Two down, two down.

Let's put an end
to these guys...

a stake
in the heart.

Just hit one ground ball.

Got you a beer, Marv.

Great.

We're still down
four to seven?

What "we"?

The Eagles are
still three down,
yes, for now.

Hey, Deck,
I saw Joey.

Great.

He was leaving.

Guess that means
you won, Marv.

Oh, what is it
with kids today?

I tell you, they
got no respect.

God love them.

I'll never get it.

All right, I smell
a two-out rally right now.

And I'm looking for a score bet.

Okay, the Eagles are coming back
in this inning right here.

I'm saying 100 bucks

and you got to give me
three to one.

Anybody?

There's two outs,
for Christ's sakes.

All right, I got
to get two to one.

At least two to one.

You really think
the Eagles are
going to score?

Yeah. Yes, I do.

One hundred bucks.

You give me
two to one.

Oh, that's, that's
too rich for me.

Too rich?

There's already two down.

I'm looking for...
$100 even money.

This inning?

Yes.

Even money?

What? Am I speaking
fucking Portuguese here?

I'll give you 20 bucks.

Seventy-five.

Uh... 50.

I got $50
says the Eagles will score.

Even money?

You got it.

Rose, again,
every time?

Can't you just let
me bet by myself?

I'll take a piece of that.

Deck, I thought
you were my friend.

You are my friend,
but she's betting
against the Bruins.

I can't help myself.
Besides, if it's good enough

for you, it's
good enough for me.

Rose, don't
you get it?

You're betting $50.
I'm betting $50.

I can't win with you,
you can't win with me.

Why don't you
just take my bet?

All right,
I will take your bet.

You're on.

Rose, Rose...
please.

Please, please,
please, stop this.

What do you want from me?

I want you
to keep your promise.

I want to know
when you come home at night

whether your pockets
are going to be empty or full.

What about you?

What about all that
crap that you buy?

That crap is an investment
in our future.

Yeah, it's an investment
in the flea market

which is the only place
you're ever going

to sell those
stupid statues.

The figurines
are collectibles.

Right now, I
could sell any
number of them

for over
1,000 bucks apiece.

Oh, sure, and the
Bruins are going

to go to the
World Series.

Listen to me, Zig.

I would personally take
a ballpeen hammer

and smash up
each one of those collectibles

if you'd just tell me that
you'll quite gambling.

No more betting.
Not on the Bulls.

Not on the Bears.
Not on the Bruins.

Not on the Blackhawks.

Don't be stupid.

I mean, some of
those figurines

are worth 1,000 bucks.

Yeah, and you're going
to blow it all

betting on the Bruins.

Excuse me.

Oh, sorry.

Rose?

Rose!

Thanks for making
the ball game so much fun.

Yeah, you're
welcome.

What?

What?

I mean, come on.

Did you hear her?

She wants me to stop betting.

Deck... stop betting?

:
Charge!

That's why

I'll never remarry.

They're all a pain in the ass.

Pain in the
ass, right?

You don't know
the first thing
about it.

Marvin, you
owe me money.

Now let's all rise
for the seventh inning stretch

and the singing of
"Take Me Out to the Ballgame."

:
♪ Take me out to the ballgame ♪

♪ Take me out with the crowd ♪

♪ Buy me some peanuts
and Crackerjacks ♪

♪ I don't care
if I ever get back ♪

♪ 'Cause it's root, root, root
for the home team ♪

♪ If they don't win
it's a shame ♪

♪ 'Cause it's one, two, three
strikes you're out ♪

♪ At the old ballgame ♪

:
♪ Take me out to the ballgame ♪

♪ Take me out to the crowd ♪

♪ Buy me some peanuts
and Crackerjacks ♪

♪ I don't care
if I never come back. ♪

Rose!

If you go out,
you can't come back in.

Rose, come back.

Look, she-she's upset,
let her back in.

There's no reentry.

Ah, man,
everybody's
a hustler.

That's for
the both of us.

Yeah, enjoy.

Rose, wait.

I'm a grown man.

I just didn't want
you telling me

what I could
and couldn't do.

I didn't know
what else to do.

Well, did you have
to do it in front
of the guys?

Did you have
to lie to me?

Look, I didn't... I-I....

I was just...

I'm sorry.

I just thought, you know

we could have
a good time... together.

Why don't you come inside, huh?

Please.

You really want me to?

I'm thinking... just thinking.

Yes, Rose

that's what I really want.

Just a minute, Rose.

Hey, Joey!

Where you going?

The Bruins just went ahead.

Great. I hope you
win a bundle.

Your dad was hoping
that you'd come back.

Yeah, I know.
I heard all about it.

It cost him
a c-note, right?

Aah, your father only bets
on what he believe in.

You ought to take that
as a compliment.

I hope to see you
again, real soon.

Ladies and gentlemen

the official paid attendance

for today's game is...
31,626.

Damn it.

Under 33.
Good call, Richie.

Keep it.

You'll need it.

You're out!

I was safe!
I was safe!

I was safe!

Hey, how would you like
to be my color man?

Your what?

My color man.

That's the guy who describes
the action on the field.

No...

Why? No, no, it's easy.

All you do is just say
what you see.

This thing
is killing my ear.

Just, like for instance,
what did you just see?

Uh, a guy caught
the ball

threw it to
another guy who
caught the ball.

Okay... Malone grounds one
into the hole

Green scoops it up,
steps on the bag

fires to Hale...
double play.

See now, your version
was a little bit
more exciting.

We'll work on it.
We'll work on it.

It'll be good.

As we head into the bottom
of the eighth, the score is...

Uh... Bruins seven,
Eagles four.

Hey, guys.

Bruins still up
seven to four?

Yeah. Still married?

Welcome back.

Oh, Marvin.

What?

What? You couldn't
watch the game at home?

Oh, Marvin... I
believe you owe me

some money from
the last inning.

Uh, 50 bucks.

You see, Marvin, much like
a reach/no-reach bet

you should never
give even money

on a score bet
when there's
two away.

You know what
I'm saying?

Look, 50
samoleans, Rose.

Oh.
Let's go, Sheff!

Come on, babe!

Come on, Scotty!

That's all right.

You've been doing
great for us all day.

Hang in there.

Don't worry about it.

Tell me.

Oh, uh, Sheffield...

he hit it way up in the sky...

He pops it up.

Sheffield the
magnificent.

Okay. Sheffield the magnificent

um, popped it up
and it was out, so...

Perfect.
Okay.

One away.

One away.

Oh...

I made this bet with you,
didn't I?

Yes, you did.

Yeah. There you go.

Thank you.

I-I thought...

I know what
you thought

but, you see,
in this case...

Come on, Kyle!

:
Go Bruins!

This is
the point.
Boo...

This is what I
was saying earlier.

Now batting for the Bruins,
Sammy Barnes.

So, what happened?

Tell me what happened.

Oh, um, um, Riddick
hit it right along
the, uh, dirt there.

Grounds to...

Riddick grounds
along...

To who?

I-I don't know,
the base...

The guy just got him
out at the base, so...

Okay...

Two away!

Stressful.

Yeah, we're doing
good, though.

I hate this job.

Come on, Sammy.

Come on, Sam.

Joey!

Hey, Dad,
what did I miss?

Inside-the-park home run
by Sheffield the magnificent.

Marvin.

I need two.

Two what?

You thought I lost.

I already paid you.

It's an honest mistake.

Good bet?

Uh... sure thing.

Aah...

God, God, he just...

What?

The guy between second
and third there...

Shortstop.

...uh, shortstop,
just beat him
to the base.

By an eyelash!

Beautiful.

Yeah.

And that retires
the side...

Right. Third out.

...by an eyelash.

That's nice.

Three more outs.

Okay, three more outs.

Three more outs.

Three more outs!

Three more outs.

:
Three more outs.

Three more outs.

Three more outs.

Three more outs.

Three more outs.

Rose.

Uh, honey, I-I know
I made you a promise

about, uh, no more betting

but, uh, I got one other
small bet, and I...

I can try to get it
canceled, I guess,
but, uh...

What's the bet?

Well, um... i-it's a
game bet with Marvin.

It's 100 bucks
on the Bruins.

You bet 100 bucks
on the Bruins?

Yeah, I-I know.

I just had
a feeling today...

It's the ninth inning...
they're ahead by three.

Yeah, I-I
should have...

Oh, double
the bet, honey.

Lay him odds.

Safe!

He was out by three feet!

He was out!

You got a rally
here, Decker.

One man on isn't exactly
a rally, Marvin.

We'll see.

Hey, Marv.

How about
doubling our bet?

Way to go, Eagles!

Yeah, yeah.

He ain't going
for it, Rose.

He knows when
he's well off.

Aw, come on, Marvin.

Where's those big balls

we've been hearing
about all day?

Aah, he's all talk.

No balls.

No balls.

Shit!
Yes!
All right.

All right, two men on

no outs and the tying
run at home plate

Sounds like
a rally to me.

You bet your ass
it's a rally.

Greg, Greg.

We need one
of your special

scoop, step on
the bag, fire...

Double plays.

...double plays--
that's what we need.

Hey, hey, what do you say,
we need a double play.

Hey, hey, what do you say,
we need a double play.

:
Hey, hey, what do you say,
we need a double play.

Hey, hey, what do you say,
we need a double play.

Hey, hey, what do you say,
we need a double play.

Hey, hey, what
do you say...

A reach bet for the band.

No sense paying interest
to the bank.

Hey, hey, what do you say,
we need a double play.

Hey, hey, what do you say,
we need a double play.

Hey, hey, what do you say,
we need a double play.

And that's ball three
to McGuinn.

Oh, goddamn it!

I can't see anything.

Sit down
and shut up!

Get a technician
in here.

Now!

Ball four to McGuinn

and that loads the bases...

Oh, you piece of shit!

Show me something!

You tubeless
motherfucker!

You piece of shit!

Hey, hey...

All right, all right,
listen, I'm fine.

Listen, listen to me.

It's the top of the ninth.

The bases are loaded,
there's nobody out...

Listen to me!

They're my people.

They need me.

Hey, hey, hey!

Bases loaded.

How could he
walk him on
four pitches?

70 homers, that's how.

Hey, Zig, you still
want to double that bet?

How about you, Rose?

Weren't you having
a conversation

about somebody's balls?

Who's that little guy
there, climbing the, uh

what's it called,
pitcher's hill?

The mound.

That's Reid,
the manager.

They're changing
pitchers.

That's it for Riddick.

Ladies and gentlemen,
we have a change in the lineup.

Now pitching for the Bruins

number 41, Todd Heck.

He's terrific.

He's had 20-something saves
already this season.

Twenty-six.

Wow, what's his ERA?

It's excellent--
it's under two.

Under two.

Okay, Marvin,
you're on.

Okay, we'll double
it, Marvin.

You're down.

Ladies and gentlemen

now pinch-hitting
for Tito Gonzalez

number 51, Jerry Cavanaugh.

Cavanaugh
replacing Gonzalez?

They're both righties.

Heck throws right.

The Eagles are idiots.

Don't call them idiots.

Maybe he's a good
righty righty hitter.

Cavanaugh?
Maybe.

Against Heck?
They're idiots.

They're idiots!

Fucking idiots.

He's on today.

Oh, he's on
every day.

Come on, Todd.

Come on, Todd, baby.

Hey, hey, did you
see that fork ball?

That's not a fork ball.

That's a split-
fingered fastball.

Well, it's against
a right-hander

it could be
a screwball.

Ha, ha.

That is one
very big out!

That's just one.

The bases are still loaded.

Ah, shut up, Richie.

Well, it is.

The bases...

Let me go!

They're in trouble!

They need me!

Strike one!

Oh, yeah, he did.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, this is kind
of nerve-racking.

Come on, babe.

Shh, shh...

Come on, I'm just
trying to say...

Shh, shh.

Look, Deck...
Shh, Zig...

Herb, Herb...
Shh...

Let's see
what you've got.

Oh, once. come on.

Throw it in there.

Strike!

Watch the damn ball!

I don't believe this.

I do not believe this guy!

I'm done, I'm done.

I-I can't take it.

He's no hitter.

Come on, get him!

Strike three! You're out!

Six straight strikes!
Six straight strikes!

Six straight strikes!
Six straight strikes!

Six straight strikes!
Six straight strikes!

Six pitches, six pitches,
six pitches.

Sit down, sit down,
sit down.

That's enough,
that's enough.

You crazy, crazy man.

All right, here we go.

Mr. D, Mr. D,
give me some!

Next batter, Rowland Keough.

:
Ke-ogh, A-hole! Ke-ogh, A-hole!

Haven't we heard this?

Keough, you bum!

Do you know how sick I am

of seeing your saggy
steroid ass all day?

You suck!

Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

Get up there, Greggy!

Watch what
you're doing.

Way to go, Greggy.

All right, okay, that's okay.

Strike!

Strike one, strike one.

All right, we're
shutting them down now.

Zig, no, that's bad luck.

Shake your head three times,
lift your arm

and spit over
your right shoulder.

Oh, Jesus, sorry.

He's the best pitcher
in the National League.
Oh, I can't say that.

Let's see what you got.

Show me what you got.

Come on, come on, come on.

Oh! Another ball.
Just another ball.

That's okay, honey.

As long as he strikes
him out, I don't care
how he does it.

All right, me, too. Whoo!

Here we go,
here we go,
here we go.

Throw strikes,
throw strikes.

Oh! It's the
dirt ball.

He threw it right
into the dirt.

That's okay, that's
okay, he does that
all the time.

Wait, wait, wait, if
he threw it into the
dirt, where's the ball?

It's okay, it's...

The catcher's got it.

Everything is fine.

Come on, baby, no
walks, no walks!

He's cracking.
He can't take the pressure.

Oh, you wish. He thrives
on the pressure.

He's building the count
on purpose.

Bullshit.

Full count, full count.

3 and 2. We got him.

One more and
we can go home.

Tell me, is he going
for the little bag at
the bottom of his feet?

Who?

The pitcher.

No.

Good.

Yeah, he is.
Right now he is.

He's nervous.

It's coming back here,
it's coming back here.

Throw it back!
Throw it back!

Throw it back!
Throw it back!

No, no, no, I caught this!

We could win the
game on this ball,
me and you, Marvin.

Sorry.

This is a wool blend,
you fucking moron.

Sorry.

Sorry? How's that? Huh?

What do you think,
just 'cause you get
us a couple of beers

we're fucking asshole
buddies now?

Marvin!
You stay out
of this, Decker.

Let me tell you something,
Richie

you don't even fucking
rate up here, you understand?

You're invisible.

We can barely tolerate you.

See, nobody has the balls
to tell you that

but I got the balls to tell you
you're a fucking orphan.

Throw it back, you twerp!

All right, Zig, do we double
that bet or what?

Yeah, that's right.

Christmas in July.

I'll take a piece of that,
Marvin.

Even money on the Bruins.

Oh, yeah, Richie?

What do you want to go?
A thousand dollars?

Hello?

Can't cover that?

How about $500?

Too much? How about $250?

I mean, any mama's boy scumbag
can cover $250.

Give him odds.

Deck...

No, no. Come on,
Marvin, how much
money you make today?

You're up a run,
the game's almost over

give the fucking
kid some odds.

Deck!

$250, Marvin-- even money.

You're on.

Attaboy, Richie.

All right, come on,
Todd, let's go.

Here we go, Heck,
come on, now.

Come on, Todd.

One more out,
one more out.

Shake it off.
Never happened.

You can do this,
you can do this.

Okay, there's a weak
pop-up to the left
side for the third out.

He retires the side,
but the damage is done.

Uh, what's...
Keough, his grand slam

has put the
Eagles ahead 8-7

and going into the
bottom of the ninth

the Bruins need one
to tie and two to win.

Like you've been doing it
all your life.

All right, now it's
our turn. Here's
the scorecard.

Who's leading
off, Richie?
Green.

Green! That's perfect!
That's what we want!

Top of the order.
We got these guys
where we want them.

Come on, this
is fantastic.

Now batting, Dayton Green.

:
Mean Green! Mean Green!

We want a hit!

We want a hit!

We want a hit!

We want a hit!

Okay, Green grounds to
second for the first out.

That's okay, we got two left.
We can still win.

Has that happened before?

Rarely.

Next batter, Darren Hale.

That was just instinct!
That wasn't skill.

One more out, girls.

Oh, shut up, Marvin!
Oh, shut up, Marvin!

What'd I do?

Next up for the Bruins,
Manny Losa!

:
MVP! MVP!

MVP! MVP! MVP!

MVP! MVP!

That's the eye, Manny!

Wait for the
one you want!

Okay, Rosie!

Arriba, abajo,
al centro, para dentro

:
arriba, abajo,
al centro, para dentro

arriba, abajo,
al centro, para dentro

arriba, abajo, al centro,
para dentro

arriba, abajo,
al centro, para dentro

arriba, abajo, al centro,
para dentro.

Oh, my God.

It's gonna make it!

And the mighty Bruins
lose again.

Go home,
you lucky bastard.

Ladies and gentlemen,
the final score

is St. Louis 8,
the Chicago Bruins 7.

We invite you
to join us again tomorrow

when the Chicago Bruins
will play the St. Louis Eagles.

Thank you for joining us
and have a good evening.

Marvin, let me
tell you something.

It's been
a freaking delight

spending the afternoon
with you.

What is it? Three Cs?

There you go.

See, I'm not worried
about losing to you

because tonight

I'm taking my bride
to the House of Sweden.

Well, the way things
are looking

I'll probably have
to take you to the
House of Sweden.

See? I'm a winner.

Greggy, see
you tomorrow.

I'll see you.

Yeah, we'll
see you tomorrow.

Miss King...

we'll see you tomorrow.

Deck, Joey,
it's great to have you back.

Richie...

...see you tomorrow.

Ah, I don't know
about you, Decker.

You know what your problem is?

You're a heart bettor.

You bet with your heart
and not your grape.

What can I tell you?

These guys are nothing
but a bunch of choke artists.

I don't know anybody
that ever went broke

betting against the Bruins
after the Fourth of July.

You can bet your ass on that.

They're just such...

such fucking heart-breakers,
you know?

They... they suck the life
right out of you.

Springtime wonders.

I'm surprised at you, Decker.

I'm surprised at me, too.

My marker.

Plenty of bets left
in the season.

I'll always be here for you.

I know you will.

Come on, Joe.

All right, Richie, I
believe you owe me $250.

You don't have it, do you?

I don't have it all with me.
I got $50.

You-you don't have it all
with you

but you got $50.

What am I going
to do with $50?

Richie, don't you know
that you don't make
bets you can't cover?

Here, Richie.

Whoa, whoa,
what, are you
his attorney?

Joey...

Not you, too, huh?

Runs in the
family, huh?

Hello? What, I got to
hit you over the head?

Let's get out of here.

Need a ride?

No.

I can hear it.

How about
you, Greggy?

God knows you need a ride.

Hey, how much money you win
today, Marvin?

I don't know.
I did pretty good.

I made a lot of money today.

Well, if you're smart

tomorrow you'll bet it all
on the Bruins

because tomorrow
they're going to win, Marv

because they're mad now

and when they're mad,
they get up and they
get even, and they're

not only going
to win tomorrow

they're going to win
the rest of the series

then they're going to
take three from Montreal,
four from San Francisco.

They're going to have
the best season since 1945.

They're going to take
the division, the pennant

and then they'll be
in the Series, Marv.

Marvin, can you see it?

The World Series!

And it's going
to go seven games

and in the seventh game

it's going to be all
tied up in a pitchers' duel

that goes into
the 23rd inning
nothing, nothing

and then you know
what happens?

No.

They bring Ernie Banks
out of retirement and
he hits a home run

right into my lap
to win the game.

And then they'll be
World Champions, Marv.

Champions of the world.

And that's when you can
give me a ride home.

Right now you're going
to walk me to the El.

Right now I'm going to walk
Melody to the El.

Hey, do you have a...?

These things happen, buddy.

I don't care.

Well, maybe they'll win again
next week.

I don't care.

They won last week.

Richie!
I'll be right there.

Maybe they'll even win tomorrow.

I don't care.

Is there anything I can do
to make you feel better?

No.

You sure?

Hmm?

So guess what?

What?

I got up inside
the scoreboard.

When?

During the rain delay.

You're kidding. And?

They got broads up there.

Get out of here.