Blaze (1989) - full transcript

When the sun
in the morning

Peeps over the hill
G chord.

And kisses the roses

Round my window sill
C chord.

Then my heart fills with gladness

When I hear the trill

Of the birds in the treetops

On Mockingbird Hill

Tra-la-la
Tweedle-dee-dee

It gives me a thrill

To wake up in the morning
on the Mockingbird Hill



It's here. Mama!

It's coming!

Hurry, Belle!

Come on!

- Are you ready, honey?
- I reckon I am.

Get me a good job and I'm gonna
send you half my pay cheque every week.

Now, baby doll,
you'll be careful, won't you?

I mean, you do understand
all about life and everything?

I know all about boys, Mama.

Yeah, but you gotta be
careful of men.

Well, I thought
I was lookin' for a man.

Well, you is.

It's complicated.

I mean, there ain't too many
good ones out there like your daddy.



And what you gotta do...

You gotta just
sort it out for yourself.

But there is one thing
I can tell you.

Never trust a man
who says, "Trust me."

Did you hear that?

When the sun in the morning

Peeps over the hill

And kisses the roses
round my window sill

Then my heart fills with gladness
when I hear the trill

Of the birds in the treetops
on Mockingbird Hill

Tra-la-la
Tweedle-dee-dee-dee

It gives me a thrill

To wake up in the morning

- To the mockingbird trill
- Jellies! You got the jellies?

Get 'em out there.

- People waitin' on jellies.
- Okay, okay.

Excuse me, excuse me.
D-Did I hear you playing
the guitar back there?

Yes, sir, I play a bit. As long as
the chords are G, C, D and A.

G, C, D and A?
That's amazing.

Have you ever thought about
getting into the entertainment field?

- You mean, show business?
- Uh-huh.

I'm sorry. My name is John Snyder.
My friends call me "Red."

Nice to meet you.

Can I ask you a question?

How much money
do you make here?

Well, I make almost $30 a week.

Almost $30 a week. Well.

How does $30 a night sound?

Plus, I'll buy you...

a brand new outfit.

- I'll see you later.
- See you.

What a night. What a night.
Great crowd.

- Here, let me take a look at you.
I wanna take a look at you.
- What kind of place is this?

Well, it's a variety-type situation
we've got here.

They're gonna love
"Mockingbird Hill."

- That's 'cause it's a fabulous tune.
- A fabulous tune, right.

But you know what it needs?
A fabulous stage name to go with it.

Here, turn around.
Your eyes are like stars, like stars.

Your hair is like fire,
like-like heat, like-like star heat...

star... star fire,
star blaze.

Star Blaze... your new name.
How do you like it?

Uh-uh.
I'd feel like an impostor.

Well, you got something better?

As a matter of fact, I do.

- I've got something unique in mind.
- Unique is good. Tell me, tell me.

- Blaze Starr.
- Amazing.

- With two R's.
- Two R's. Yeah, yeah.

Of course, that's the key.
Come on, Blaze Starr.

I want you to go out there
and tell the people a story.

Play it, sister!

Hey, little cowgirl.

When the sun in the mornin'

Peeps over the hill

And kisses the roses

Round my window sill

- Then my heart fills with gladness
- All right, baby, come on.
Let's take it off.

When I hear the trill

Of the birds in the treetops

- On Mockingbird Hill
- Hey, babe, take it off.

Tra-la-la
Tweedle-dee-dee

There's peace and good will

You gotta be kidding.
You gotta take something off!

- Wh-What's going on?
- I ain't takin' nothing off!

No, no.
Of course not, of course not.

Listen, look at me.
It's just dancing, that's all.

But what about my singing career?

You just had it.
You need a new career.

- You brought me here
to take my clothes off.
- No, no.

I thought it was a "Mockingbird Hill"
crowd tonight. I was wrong.

Well, they're animals out there.

- Animals?
- Animals!

Animals?
Those are our fighting boys out there.

Those boys are going off to Korea
to fight the Red Peril for you and me.

I thought it was the Yellow Peril.

It's both.
There's perils everywhere.

You ever heard of the 38th parallel?

Well, for some of those boys,
that's the last parallel
they're ever gonna see.

I mean, those boys are about to
give their lives for you, Blaze.

The least you can do for them
is give them a little tit.

Now, you're not selfish,
are you, Blaze?

Well, if you won't do it for yourself
and you won't do it for me...

and you won't do it for $30 a night...

Blaze Starr with two R's...

will you do it for America?

- Now we're talking.
- Yeah.

Shoes, shoes.
Off with your shoes.

You're fine.
Doin' fine.

Yeah.

You're doin' fine.
Doin' fine.

There you go.
Take off... Take... Take...

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where you going?

Go back out there.
It's for our men.

More, more, more, more.

- More, more, more, more.
- Yeah, yeah.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Great.

Good, good. All right.

Come on, baby.
Come on.

Come on, come on.

You're beautiful.

God bless you.

Oh, what a debut, baby.
Come to papa.

I felt such love and warmth and...

- Respect.
- Respect. That's it!

- I felt such...
- Lots and lots of respect.

Let me tell you something, honey.
I've seen 'em all. Tits come, tits go...

but you have got a chance
to go all the way in this business...

if...

if you don't get caught up...

with the low-class egg-suckers
they got runnin' this racket.

No, I don't want to get caught
with any low-class egg-suckers.

- And you won't if...
- lf? If what?

If you and I...

become partners.

Partners?

Trust me.

I'm gonna go freshen up a little...

- before we become partners.
- Freshen up?

Darling, you're fresher
than a summer zephyr...

blowin' cherry blossoms
across the Chesapeake Bay.

- New morning honeysuckle...
- I know, I know.

Le toilette,

Thank you.

Hey, there

You with the stars in your eyes

Love never made a fool of you

You used to be too wise

Hey, there

You on that high-flying cloud

He wouldn't throw a crumb to you

Now you just hope
he'll come to you

Hey, get back here!
Hey, hey, hey!

Forget the cherry blossom shit, bitch!

You'll never work
in show business again!

This is not the way America works!

Next time you see me

Things won't be the same

No

Next time you see me

Things won't be the same

And if it hurts you, my darling

You have yourself to blame

Just like those true, true sayings

All that shines is not gold

No

Just like those true, true sayings

All that shines is not gold

Oh, no

Just like the good book says
you gotta reap what you sow

"Dear Mama, you were right.

"It ain't easy to find a man
you can wake up happy next to.

"There is a lot of pretty young boys
out there, but not a lot of real men.

"I'm thinkin' of heading
down to New Orleans.

"I heard there's a higher class
of people down there...

'cause of France and all."

Ah, yeah

We're right smack dab
in the middle of it.

Come on, right this way. We've got
the most beautiful showgirls.

Uh-huh, yeah, Oh, boy!

You know, marriage
is like a three-ring circus,

You got your engagement ring,
then your wedding ring...

and then your "suffer-ring."

All right, all right. Now time
for some bon temps rouler,

Ladies and gentlemen,
from Baltimore, Maryland...

by way of the city jail...

the one and only Miss Blaze Starr!

Let's hear it!

Hi, fellas.
Glad you could make it.

Hi, there, Ralphie.

Hmm, raising some
pup tents already?

My fightin' boys are back.

It's nice to see a lot of
real men here tonight.

Eat your heart out, sweet thing.

How you all doin'?

You want to go
flower pickin' in my hills?

You handsome hunk of love.

Evening, Governor.

Well, looks like a fine night
for prowlin' around, don't it, Willie?

Mmm, good pickings tonight, Governor.

Yeah, a good night
for prowlin' around, ain't it?

Fine night for prowlin', sir.

Hi, sweet thing.

- How are you?
- How you doin', Governor?

Take it off, come on.

Yeah, she's sure got the equipment.

How you all doin'?

A good cop is hard to find.

A hard cop is better to find.

- Would you help me?
- 'Course I will. Yeah.

Hell, yeah!

Havin' a bit of trouble?

Uh, just a snag.

Got it.

Come here.
A little souvenir for the wife.

- Good Lord.
- Lookee there. He's tied up now.

She is a pretty thing.

Come on. Keep goin'!

- Come on.
- Take it off. That's it.
Take that thing off of there!

- Yeah!
- Good God almighty!

Whoo, boy!
Let's really hear it for her now...

Miss Spontaneous Combustion,
and I do mean "bust-ion."

Uh-huh. All right.

Let's bon temps rouler!
Thank you for...

Now, who's the guy with the cops?
We gettin' busted?

Ah, no, Blaze, no.
We ain't gettin' busted.

That's the governor,
and he wants to meet you.

The governor wants to meet me?

Honey, the governor's met
all the girls on Bourbon Street.

Dinner with old Earl
might be worth a new fur coat.

A new fur coat.
What does he take me for?

Face it, honey.
We ain't nuns.

Antoine, tell the governor
that I'm deeply offended...

and my dignity's been assaulted.

Excuse me, Governor,
but the lady says that she offended
by your offer of a fur coat and...

So? Offer her an Oldsmobile
or something.

Never mind. I'll do it myself.
Hold the fort, boys.

- Hello.
- Hi, Mr Earl
- Hello, Earl.
- Hi, darling.

How are you, sweetie?

- Hello, Governor.
- Nice to see you again.

- Delilah, you are an artiste.
- Thank you, Mr Governor.

Well, Miss Starr.

- Earl Kemp Long.
- Sir.

Some people call me "Unkempt" Long,
but you can be the judge.

It's a great pleasure
to meet you, your honour.

Uh-huh.
That's some show you got there, gal.

A powerful expression
of basic human needs.

Well, I think of myself
as a storyteller.

Well, we could all use a good story,
couldn't we, girls?

- Yeah.
- We sure could.
- I suppose you heard all about me.

Yeah. I heard you own half
the senators and congressmen
in the state of Louisiana.

That's a goddam lie.

I never bought a congressman
in my life. I rent 'em. It's cheaper.

That way you don't waste
taxpayers' money?

You got a fine grasp
for politics there, Miss Starr.

I guess I got a soft spot
for politicians, that's all.

The fine governor
of the great state of Louisiana...

would be honoured to have
one of your stockings as a souvenir.

Only if I can tie it
around your neck.

You mean, like a noose?

Yeah, but a pretty one.

I got enough stuff
around my neck as it is.

Well, in that case,
would the fine governor
of the great state of Louisiana...

be interested in powderin'
my behind?

Gotta go, gotta go. It's time
for le grand finale magnifique,

I'm sorry, Governor. I never thought
a man in your position'd take
so long makin' up his mind.

Bye-bye.

Well, if I could walk like that,
I would walk everywhere I went.

Miss Starr, Miss Starr.

- I'd like to see you again.
- Can I trust you?

- Hell, no!
- No? What a wonderful thing to say.

Goddam it, LaGrange.
I do have a weakness for...

tough-minded, iron-willed,
independent women...

with big hooters.

Yeah, you... you can call it a weakness
if you want to, Governor...

but in my mind you're...
you're diggin' yourself a grave...

with these women down here
on Bourbon Street.

I hope so.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, Governor!
Damn it, Earl, I'm talkin' to you!

Looks like you been doin'
a lot of tomcattin' lately.

Ain't none of your
goddam business, Deeter.

You little pissant!

They say you backin' the damn
nigger rights bill, that true?

Hey, you're a federal congressman.

Votin' Rights Bill is a state matter.
Keep your nose out of my business.

The only reason you're backin' it
is 'cause they vote for you.

You're a goddam nigger-lover!

Whoa. I thought I got it.

I don't believe you understand
the issues in this campaign.

- All right. Well, let's talk issues.
- Over here.

Now, then. You got a sister, two cousins
and a granddaddy on the state payroll.

That's an issue.

You want to keep the family
tongue in the public trough...

you damn well better remember
who's fillin' it with slop.

Earl, if my family's such
a burden on the state payroll...

I'll just switch them over
to the federal trough.

Now, there's only one issue here,
and that's niggers.

It's time for you to get your dog off
the porch and tell us whether you're
votin' "Yes" or you're votin' "No."

- Damn!
- Now.

You tell me whether
that means yes or no.

- You bit me.
- You're damn right I did.

He apologizes,
and I've had an upliftin' experience.

Come here, son.

You know, I have a hunch
that tomorrow morning...

we're gonna read
in the Times-Picayune
of a generous contribution...

to the fine old Louisiana
War Veterans Home...

in the name of this enlightened
congressman, Arvin Deeter.

Cough up, son.

Thank you.

Now, the Kit Kat Club
is still open, isn't it boys?

One night of sin

Is what I'm now payin'for

The things I did and I saw

Would make the earth stand still

"Dear Mama, I think my singing career
is about to take off.

"Tonight, for instance,
I met the fine governor
of the great state of Louisiana.

"They tell me he's a real gentleman...

a wonderful speaker,
and even a gourmet cook."

Hello. It's time to belly up
to some crawfish ?touff?e...

a nice slice of Paris in the pot.

With all due respect to you and
your fine ?touff?e there, Governor...

we do have some
business to discuss.

The downstate Catholic
Democratic regulars...

are having a tough time committing
themselves to your re-election campaign.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, lookee what we got here.

Welcome to Roosevelt Hotel.

Ladies and gentlemen...

I would like to introduce
Miss Blaze Starr.

She is a performing artist
on the local cultural scene...

and an epic storyteller.

Miss Starr,
I would like to introduce you...

to some of my yes-men
and their lovely wives.

This is Chester Thibodeaux and
JW LaGrange and Doc Ferriday...

- and the rest of'em.
- Bon soir,

Bon soir,

That fellow down there
is Representative Eldon Tuck.

He invited himself
up here tonight...

to explain some problem that
he imagines is on the horizon.

Good evenin', ma'am.

No, I ain't imaginin' nothing.

Everybody knows it's illegal...

to succeed yourself
the way you are plannin' to do.

What you don't know is
Earl's already got that figured out.

He's gonna resign
the day before his term ends.

Then he's gonna have his lieutenant
governor take over for 24 hours.

That way, Earl don't succeed hisself.

No, I'm sorry, Governor, but the
legislature's already got wind of that.

They are in the process
of slipping through a bill...

that will make it necessary for
the governor to resign nine months...

before the end of his term.

Earl, I'm afraid
they got you this time.

Got me, hell!
They just shot themselves
another wooden duck is all.

- Right, right.
- They dumber than I thought.

I wonder what them bastards
would do if, for example...

I was to run for lieutenant governor.

And on the same ticket, for example...

we was to run some broke-down
claiming horse for governor...

for example, like my good friend
Thibodeaux there.

Me, for governor?

Yes, sir, for 24 hours.
Then the day after we win...

you resign and I re-ascend
to the governor's chair.

There'll be dancin' in the streets.

I'll bet you there ain't nobody
ever heard of that one before.

- No. Hell, no. That's a good idea.
- That ought to work.
- Damn fine.

Excuse me. Y'all know
where the ladies' room is?

For whatever reason
might she be needin' a ladies' room?

Yes. For whatever reason
might you be needin' a ladies' room?

'Cause I need to take a pee.

Ladies' pissoir is that-a-way...

- and to the left.
- Ma'am.

- Ma'am.
- Ma'am.

Hmm.

I'd like to be governor for a day.

Yeah. Get you one of them
rubber stamps...

a big old parking space of your own.

You'd have a hell of a time,
wouldn't you?

Now that will fly, won't it?

- It probably will.
- Well...

I don't know
if it'll fly or not...

but it will sure as hell
flap its wings.

On behalf of my constituents...

we would be proud
to commit our support...

to the fine ticket
of Thibodeaux and Long.

- Long and Thibodeaux!
- That's right.
- Long and Thibodeaux.

- Hear, hear.
- Long and Thibodeaux.

- Long and Thibodeaux.
- Long and Thibodeaux.

But we do have
one small favour to ask.

- What's that?
- Go a little light on the nigger issue.

I don't make deals.

What kind of governor
do you think I am?

- That's my brother, Huey.
- Oh.

Yeah, a great man.

Could have been president
of the United States.

But then back in 1935,
he ran into a small problem.

What small problem?

A bullet.

God rest his soul.

- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Well, don't be.

I busted my butt for him...

and he wouldn't
give me the time of day...

unless he wanted somethin'.

Let's talk about somethin' else.

Well, what's that?

That is the biggest bobcat
ever shot in Louisiana.

- You shouldn't kill animals.
- I didn't know you was the animal type.

Maybe we should go
in the other room so people
don't get the wrong idea about us.

Well, we wouldn't
want that to happen.

Where'd everybody go?

Into the great Louisiana night.

You ought to know
that old age and treachery...

are gonna triumph
over youth and good intentions.

- Mr Governor!
- My God, them's
a big pair of rascals you got.

- Are you talkin' about my eyes?
- No, I'm talking about your titties.

- Call me Earl.
- Earl. Good night.

Wait a minute.

Miss Starr, wait a minute.
Don't go.

Look. Perhaps I've misled you.

Perhaps I've even implied things
about my character, but I can't help it.

The scent of musk
precedes me into a room.

And just 'cause I fail to deliver
upon your expectations...

it don't mean that I am a C-U-N-T.

You ain't no such thing.

I didn't want my outward
presentation to confuse you.

Well...

you ain't like
any stripper I'm used to.

Well, I know,
'cause I ain't a stripper.

I'm a dancer.

- Can I ask you a personal question?
- Yes, sir.

- Are you registered to vote?
- No, sir.

I just moved to Louisiana.

Sign this.

I must say,
you look like a Democrat to me.

- Well, did you get your fur coat?
- No.

You didn't give it away
for free, did you, doll?

We had a lovely dinner.
There'll be more.

Don't count on it, honey.

Well, I expect he's gonna call.

Blaze Starr!

Would a newly registered
virgin Democrat...

like to see how
the wheels of government...

- are kept finely tuned?
- She would.

I will see you in my office.

Goodbye, Joe
Me got to go

Me oh, my oh

Me got to go
pole the pirogue

Down the bayou

My Yvonne, the sweetest one
me oh, my oh

- There goes Earl!
- All right, boys.

- Son of a gun, we'll have big fun
- There he is. Come on, let's go.
Come on. Get in.

- On the bayou
- Come on, come on. Start it up.

Excuse me, Mr Earl,
we got the reporters with us now.

- Want me to lose 'em?
- No, just wring it out, Bobby.

Scare 'em a little.

Jambalaya and a crawfish pie
and a fil? gumbo

'Cause tonight I'm gonna see
my mes cheres amis, oh

Pick guitar, fill fruit jar

And be gay, oh

Son of a gun, we'll have big fun

On the bayou

- Hi, boys.
- Howdy, Mr Earl. Good to see you, sir.

- Ain't seen you in weeks.
- Well, I can't stay away.

I don't trust those stores
in New Orleans and Baton Rouge.

Bobby, give JO And Rathburn
there a couple of watermelons.

How are you, Elmore?

- Mr Earl.
- Nice to see you again.

Trash seems to be
blowing in behind me here.

- You boys with the local press, huh?
- I'm with the New Orleans
Times-Picayune,

Oh, well.

Mr Governor, is it true that you're
backing a bill in the legislature...

that would guarantee voting rights
for illiterate coloured people?

Goddam,
these are a fine pair of boots...

these are as fine a pair
of boots as I've seen in a decade.

I could use a pair of boots like this.

I'll bet you... I'll bet you I'm gonna
wear these boots for 20 years.

- Bobby, pay the man.
- Yes, Governor.

Vote for Earl.

- I'll take all those chairs.
- Excuse me.

Well, Reverend Marquez,
we were just on our way.

- I've got this fine
speech prepared here.
- A speech, Governor?

Yeah. I mean, as you all know,
I'm 100% for homestead exemptions...

and I'm 100% for farm-to-market roads,
facilities for the feeble-minded.

I believe in building bridges
over all rivers, large and small...

- and, uh, hot lunches...
- And hot air!

- What?
- I said, "Hot lunches and hot air,"
Governor.

My son needs a lesson
in manners, Governor...

but I am in accordance
with the essence of his remarks.

We don't need no more speeches.

- We need jobs.
- Well, we got some fine highway jobs.

Just call LaGrange.
He'll take care of it.

Highway jobs?

You're talkin' about pickin' up trash.

This man's a doctor...

and these women
are all qualified nurses.

We done pickin' up trash.

Mr Governor, we voted for you...

and we voted for your
brother before you...

but that don't mean
you got our vote forever.

Well, trust in God.
He'll work out everything.

Oh, we talked to God.

He told us to speak to the governor.

What are you laughing at, Picayune?

We're just all real curious
as to know...

how you're gonna manage
to desegregate the hospital system...

and at the same time keep
all your fine white voters happy.

- We're just curious.
- Bobby, load up the car.

I got to do a little percolatin'.

- Pretty good load this time.
- Yeah, it's pretty good.

Have a pair of boots, son.

- They'll last you 20 years.
- Thank you, Mr Earl.

- Vote for Earl.
- I always do.

Now, that's a pretty picture.

Looks like you got
a problem in there.

Yeah. I've got to percolate.

Well, I got a problem out here.

What's botherin' you?

There're a lot of men
that would like to be
spending an afternoon with me...

but apparently
you ain't one of them.

Now, I do not like
to be left in the car...

like soiled merchandise.

And I don't think
a proper introduction...

is askin' too much.

A man in public office, he's gotta be
discreet in his indiscretions.

Well, I am not an indiscretion.

Now, calm down, sweet thing.
He can't hurt you.

- He can't hurt you. I like cats.
- Good.

Hey, son, wrap the cat up.

Send it to the Showbar
in New Orleans.

- And vote for Earl?
- Yeah.

Vote for Earl.

Bobby! Bobby!

- Yes, Governor?
- We're buyin' a damn cat.

Call the hospital up at Atchafalaya.

Tell them the fine governor
of the great state of Louisiana...

is gonna come callin'
in 20 minutes.

- Well, how y'all?
- Governor.
- Governor, welcome.

The Junior League, uh...

The Junior League of the fine city of
Magnolia wants to present this ham...

to the worthy people
of this fine institution.

There you are. Bobby!
Thank you.

- Good day, Mr Governor.
- Yeah. It is a good day.

And it gives me great pleasure
to introduce an authentic
show business genius...

who's graciously volunteered her time
to drop in on the unfortunate sickly...

in the hopes of bringing
a little light into their day.

So without further ado,
I would like to introduce...

Miss Blaze Starr.

Hello, everybody.
Nice hospital.

Governor, is there some reason why
you've dropped in on us all of a sudden?

Well, you're just doin' a fine job here,
just a wonderful job.

Thank you, sir. Thank you.
We're glad you're here.

Vote for Earl.
It's nice to see you, son.

Well, hi, y'all!

Governor Earl Long.

- How you doin', son?
- This is just right off his campaign.

I hope you feel better,
so you can vote for old Earl.

Now, I got a little treat for you.

- Cheer 'em up, honey.
- Hi, fellas.

Hi.

- How are you?
- How do, ma'am.

- What's in there?
- Niggers.

Oh, yeah?
Let's have a look.

Very glad you're visiting us, Governor,
just wish we'd known ahead of time so we
could've prepared a little bit for you.

Well, now, this is a shameful,
unmitigated outrage!

We're a bit overcrowded, sir.

- That ain't what I'm talkin' about.
- What, then?

You mean to say...

that you got these
fine white doctors...

these fine white nurses
and fine white orderlies...

- and they waitin' hand and foot
on a bunch of Negroes?
- Yes, sir.

You have white folks
emptying coloured bedpans?

- Yes, sir.
- Governor.
- What are you gonna do about this?

- What am I supposed to do...
- You tell me.

Are you ordering me to hire a bunch of
coloured doctors and coloured nurses?

Picky Picayune.

What do you think this
fine man of medicine...

whose contract is about
to expire, I might add...

as is the contract of many of his
fine colleagues across the state...

what do you think this man is gonna
do about this grave problem?

Well, what are you gonna do?

My God,
what are you gonna do?

I don't suppose somebody has a list
of qualified medical personnel who...

as fate has it,
may be coloured and unemployed.

- Damn, Governor.
- Here are 300 resumes.

Now, this man
is a courageous, innovative...

daring social reformer.

I tell you I'm a coward next to him...

and you can quote me on that.

You know, Earl, in a certain way,
we're both kind of in show business.

Boy, you are catchin' on to the wheels
of government real quick, child.

Say, hey, good lookin'

What you got cookin'

How's about cookin'
somethin'up with me

Hey, sweet baby

Don't you think maybe

We could find us

A brand new recipe

I got a hot rod Ford
and a two-dollar bill

And I know a spot
right over the hill

There's soda pop
and the dancin's free

So if you want to have fun
come along with me

Say, hey, good lookin'

What do you think?

Are we visitin' some poor folk?

Poor folk? This is my home.

I call it "The Pea Patch."

What do you think?

It's nice.

That's a picture
of my main hog.

Won me five blue ribbons before
I had him cut, wrapped and frozen.

Been eatin' him a little bit
at a time ever since.

That's a Brahman bull there.

Took first place
in the four-states fair.

I had some problem with the tomatoes
here. Got a little sunburned.

Oh, my God.

I need to reinforce
my ticker a little bit.

- Oh, my God. I didn't mean to give you
a heart attack or nothing.
- No, I'll be fine.

There's a lot of snap
left in these garters!

Now you just get right in there.

You know,
makin' love to an older man...

is like partaking of a fine wine.

I realize that you
never had a chance...

to make love
to a man of my power...

my clout, my leverage...

The most powerful man
in the South.

But, yes siree...

I am gonna take you...

to the land of milk and honey.

You've never had
a lover like old Earl.

Do you like to F-U-C-K
with your boots on?

Yeah.
I get better traction that way.

But if it is unpleasing to you
aesthetically, I can take 'em off.

Well, if you get better traction,
then you can keep 'em on.

A man's got to get
purchase, you know.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah!

- It's okay to go slow.
- Oh, yeah.

What's wrong?

Come on there, big feller.
Nothin' to worry about.

Sometimes, it's a slow starter,
you know, just like a Ford.

But I'll tell you something,
when that rascal starts
hittin' on all eight...

you just can't hardly
stop the son of a bitch.

Come on now!

You're on the state payroll.
Now, wake up!

- Everything's gonna be all right.
- No, it's not all right.

I'd fire the damn
freeloader if I could.

Oh, for goodness' sake.

I apologize.

I apologize for me,
and I apologize for my family name.

Earl, you don't have to apologize.
You ain't done nothin' wrong.

Don't go anywhere.
I'll be right back.

Excuse me.

I apologize for
the great state of Louisiana.

Oh, when the saints

Go marchin'in

Oh, when the saints
go marchin'in

- Lord, I want to be in that number...
- Excuse me, excuse me.

Would you mind
singing something...

without the Lord in it?

Just 'cause of the peculiar
circumstances involved.

Oh, of course.
That was very thoughtless of me.

Goodbye, Joe

Me got to go

Me oh, my oh

Me got to go

Pole the pirogue

Down the bayou

My Yvonne, the sweetest one

Me oh, my oh

Son of a gun

We'll have big fun

On the bayou

Goodbye, Joe, me got to go

Me oh, my oh

Me got to go
pole the pirogue

Down the bayou

My Yvonne,
the sweetest one

- Me oh, my oh
- Are you home yet, honey?

- Not yet, Miss Starr.
- Oh, goddam.

Jambalaya and
a crawfish pie

And a fil? gumbo

'Cause tonight I'm gonna see
my mes cheres amis, oh

Pick guitars, fill fruit jars

- You ain't gonna have
no heart attack, are you?
- And be gay, oh

Son of a gun, we'll have big fun
on the bayou

Kinfolk come
to see Yvonne by the dozen

Dressed in style and go hog wild
me oh, my oh

Son of a gun
we'll have big fun

On the bayou

I didn't hurt you, did I?

Just a Sunday afternoon
drive for old Earl.

Where the hell is Earl?

We got to talk sense into him
before he flushes...

the entire Democratic Party
right down the crapper.

I believe all the fried food's
starting to clog Uncle Earl's brain.

Why, bullshit!

He ain't crazy, you know.
All you got to do is talk to him.

- We gotta talk.
- Goddam it, Earl. You got troubles.

- Name one.
- Well, for starters...

people say you been keepin' company
with a stripper, name of Blaze Starr.

- It's a damn lie.
- If Earl says it's a damn lie...

then by God it is a damn lie.

- Tuck, I agree. It's a damn lie.
- Damn lie!

Now that's the finest bunch
of yes-men ever assembled.

No, you ain't mouthin' your way
out of this one, Earl.

We got an inside track from the IRS,
said they're about to crack down
on you real hard.

Tax evasion.
Might get ugly.

Hogwash! Voters cotton
to people with tax problems.

Every time I get audited,
I pick up 10,000 votes.

They started in on me in 1938.

Tried to get me again in 1939,
and come up with nothin'.

- That's right.
- 1940, 1941!

- Hello.
- Hello, Governor.

1942, 1943, the same thing.

- Pick up a signed print
on Tuesday. Goodbye.
- Thank you.

They really thought
they had me in 1951.

I am the most investigated man
in Louisiana history, and proud of it.

Quit pickin' your nose.
Spit it out.

All right, Earl.
If you back this nigger rights bill...

your career is over.

Earl, that bill has suicide
written all over it.

Governor, Earl, listen now.

We have to vote on that,
and we'll take the heat.

You can rant and rave about
what a bunch of racists we are.

You can claim all
the moral high ground.

Pound a Bible. You can
stir all the poor voters around...

like a fil? gumbo like you do
so well, and we'll be the bad boys.

Fact is, Governor, you ain't
even supposed to show up.

Don't you tell me the rules.

It's really quite simple...

but the solution requires...

a very tall order from you.

- Like what?
- You have to keep your mouth shut...

for one day in the legislature.

We both get what we want...

and that bill dies
a quiet little death.

In exchange for what?

We pull all the support we can...

away from Jimmie Davis
and Dellesseps Morrison...

and we give it back to you.

Earl, I think I speak for every
son of a bitch in this room...

when I say that you're
our favourite governor.

And I for one would sure as hell
like to stay in business with you.

- That's right.
- Say it like it is.

I sure would hate to miss out
on being governor...

even for a day.

How long has it been...

since you carried a parish
south of Baton Rouge, Earl?

It's been a long time, hasn't it?

Now, my colleagues here could
give you some help down there.

There is help waitin' for you
in East Baton Rouge Parish...

Plaquemines Parish...

Terrebonne...

Jefferson...

Iberia...

Saint Martin...

Ascension...

Assumption...

Saint John the Baptist.

Enough.

Johnnie Mae, not now.

Yes, Governor.
This way, please.

Shut the door.

Blaze Starr.

You better get used to her.

She is a fact of life.

Taxes?

You can set the dogs on me.

They might bite me,
buy they ain't gonna eat me.

Damn. Votin' Rights Bill.

You want me to shut up
and stay home?

Mm-hmm.

All right,
I'll shut up and stay home.

Honey, you ain't ever seen
anything like this before.

Kitty, kitty.

Voila.

I tied a little piece of meat
to the bow, you see.

- Pretty good, huh?
- Yeah, it's fine.

I put a piece of steak
on the back of the rose...

and attached it to the ribbon,
and he ate it.

It's the Picayune,

- Miss Starr?
- Cover me up. In here.

I'll be right there!

- I'm coming.
- Come on, open the door.
I know he's in there.

Hi, Miss Starr.
I'm looking for Earl Long.

Nobody here but me and my kitty.

I'd know Earl's voice anywhere.

That ain't the governor.
That's a panther.

A panther? Well, if that's all it is,
then why don't you let me see him?

'Cause he don't like reporters.

Oh, Miss Starr,
everybody likes me.

Well, if you insist.

Jesus Christ!

I'm sorry. Sorry.
It's my mistake! Sorry.

Good panther.

Now get to bed.
Come on.

Good kitty.

All right. I'll see you later.
Take a nap.

Earl, you've been
in there long enough.

If you don't get out of there,
I'm gonna crawl in there with you.

Come on.
Come on out.

I hate that son of a bitch!

I'll kill him.
Kill all of'em!

String 'em up by their nuts!

Goddam papers!
Ain't got no right...

stickin' cameras
up people's pants!

Give me one of my pills,
will you, honey?

Earl, don't get all worked up.

If bullshit was music,
the Times-Picayune
would be the philharmonic.

You want to talk about it?

Talk about what?

Well, something
is definitely wrong.

Nothin' is wrong.

I know I've become
a problem for you.

Don't go pushin' me
about my problems, child.

A woman has got to push.
No offence.

I'm all right.

Pushin' I respect...

but a man don't share his
problems with a woman nohow.

Well, I guess
I just overestimated...

the fine governor
of the great state of Louisiana.

I guess I just thought that
going to bed with a man
could mean a little more...

than thrashing around
all night in wild ecstasy.

I thought it could mean
cuddling and toasty warmth.

Sharing one's
innermost needs and fears.

That's what gettin' naked
truly means to me.

That's what sex truly is.

Well, I'm sorry. It is too bad.

I guess you don't ever want
to get totally naked with me.

The joint session of this esteemed
body faces an historic vote...

in which we can sustain
our biblical mandate...

to keep the white race
separate and pure...

- as God intended...
- All Right.

And to purge our votin' registry...

of those unclean...

- Governor!
- Governor!
- Ignorant illiterates...

that these nigger-lovin' persons...

have imposed upon
the great state of Louisiana.

- Earl, you shouldn't be here.
- The Votin' Rights Bill
is socialistic...

- We had a deal.
- Well, I lied.
- And unchristian...

- pacifist, liberal...
- Mr Speaker.

- I would like permission to speak
on the floor of the House.
- Willie Rainach has the floor.

I'm requesting the floor
for myself!

Mr Governor,
with all due respect...

there is no law that allows
the Governor...

to speak on the floor of this chamber
without an invitation.

Then write a new law. It'll take you
two or three minutes...

to pass the son of a bitch
with a voice vote.

I must ask the fine governor
of the great state of Louisiana...

to leave the premises.

My brother built these premises.

Well, we ain't here to talk
about your brother.

We're here to talk about you.

We're here to talk about niggers
and niggers votin'.

- You put a literacy test
in the registration.
- I have the floor.

Take away a poor man's vote,
he ain't got nothin'.

The Bible says, "The fear of the Lord
is the beginnin' of wisdom."

Psalms 111.

"In righteousness
shalt thou judge thy neighbour."

Leviticus 19.

"Thy nakedness shall be uncovered.
Yea, thy sins shall be seen."

- Isaiah 47:3.
- "He that follows me
shall not walk in darkness."

That's Jesus Christ,
the book of Luke.

- Governor, please.
- All right!

Take the floor.

Willie Rainach.

You know, he got a cottage
up on the lake.

Someday he's gonna go up there,
and he's gonna...

gonna get on the porch
and hunker down...

and take off his shoes
and wash his feet and...

uh, look at the moon and see
if he can get close to God.

I tell ya!

If Willie Rainach
ever gets close to God...

then he's gonna say
that niggers is human beings.

Are they human beings,
or are they votes, Governor?

- I demand the floor here!
- Governor, please get off the floor.

I move the question.

Without objection, so ordered.
Mr Secretary, call the roll.

Well, I object! I object!

- Adams.
- In the Bible, it says that
before the end of time...
- Nay.

- Arkwright.
- No!
- That billy goats, tigers, rabbits...

- No.
- House cats, they all go to sleep
together in the same bed.

- No.
- You can't stop the future.
It's comin'.

- Nay!
- Buford, are you for me
or are you again' me?

- Nay!
- What is that, television?

- Farrow.
- No!

- How do I look?
- Fields.
- Nay.

- I had an uncle once.
- No.

- He got drunk, he went down
to the coloured section...
- Nay.

- Down in Winnfield.
- No.

And he pulled this nigger out of bed
and crawled in with the woman.

- Nay.
- The nigger went out,
he got a rifle, came back...

he killed my uncle.

I'm tellin' you, we gotta
quit sleepin' with 'em at night...

and kickin' 'em in the daytime.

I would like to make a formal apology
to the gallery and the state
of Louisiana...

for the behaviour of our governor.

Willie Rainach...

you are a chickenshit,
yellow-bellied cocksucker.

Well, now wait a minute.

What I called that man was a
chickenshited, yellow-bellied sapsucker.

I never called him no cocksucker.

- Earl.
- Civil War is over.

The esteemed governor
will not leave the room.

We will continue
with the floor vote.

- Lancaster.
- Nay.

- Leek.
- No.
- Hell, it was over a hundred years ago.

- Munson
- Yea.

- The future's comin' for all of us.
- No.

Nelson.

Everything's gonna be all right.

You still got me.

Want me to sing to you?

- That's the one!
- Let's go! Let's go!

- Goddam it!
- That was good!

- Sons of bitches!
- Come on!

Step on it!
Get outta here!

I'll go on out there
and catch those bastards.

- Gimme that.
- Where's Bobby?

Hey, get outta here.
Get outta my car.

What are you,
a bunch of communists?

- Cheeseborough.
- Mr Governor, it's my opinion that...

you're a very sick man
and in need of professional care.

I give you that job.
What'd you stick me with?

A lot of people think this is
for your own good, Governor.

Mandeville State Hospital.

There she is, fellas.

Look here, Miss Starr.
Would you look at the camera, please?

Miss Starr, look into the camera.

We're from the Times-Picayune,

- Miss Starr! Just one quick picture.
- Miss Starr!

Miss Starr!
One more, please!

- Where they keepin' him?
- Mandeville.

About an hour from here.

Gentlemen of the press,
Gentlemen,

Governor Long is suffering from
bronchiectasis, arteriosclerosis,,,

oscillatory blood pressure,
an occluded ventricle,,,

and general exhaustion,

Now, his condition is guarded,
and he remains in intensive care,

Who's that?

Miss Blaze.

Earl, you don't look so good.

They been puttin' all this poison
in my system.

It's foreign, evil stuff.

I brought you somethin'.

Oh, yeah.

I had some trouble
gettin' in here.

People are turning against me.

Maybe.

You're still governor.

No, I'm not.

They locked me up in here.

No. It's in the papers even.

You can govern until they
make a law that says...

you can't be in the nut house
and be governor at the same time.

I'm still governor?

I swear.

Mighty and powerful as ever.

Well, who would do this to me?

Some people are sayin'
it's your enemies.

Some people are sayin'
it's your family.

Hell. Family, enemies...
it's too confusin'.

Still governor, huh?

There's some people I want you
to get in my office.

Director of the hospital...
what's his name?

- Cheeseborough?
- Yeah, him.

Some of those other medical types.

- Doc Ferriday?
- Yeah.

You want me to get the Picayune?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Hello, This is old Earl talkin',
Who am I talkin'to? Hello,

Hello, Governor.
This is Dr Cheeseborough.

I got my staff here
as you requested.

We're concerned about you.

Oh, I'm sure you are.

Uh, I understand that you got
the whole hierarchy...

of the state health-care system
gathered there in my office.

We're all here,
Governor, and we understand
you want to make a statement.

Yeah, well, um, since you are all
gathered there in my office...

yeah, I wanna make
a statement... Hello.

What is it, Governor?

Uh, you're fired.

- What'd he say?
- You heard me,

If I can hire you, I can fire you.
You can check the constitution.

- But Mr Governor...
- You got 20 minutes
to clean out your desk,

Now, is Doc Ferriday there?

- I'm here, Earl.
- Good,

I suppose the newspapers is there,
Picky, Picayune, you there?

- Yeah, I'm here, Mr Governor.
- That's good,

'Cause I'm gonna need a witness.

I do hereby formally appoint...

as the new director
of the Louisiana Hospital...

a fine, fine gentleman,
a wonderful humanitarian,,,

and a close personal friend of mine...

Doc Ferriday.

What?

I humbly accept this honour, and,
as my first duty as state director...

I hereby order the release
from the Mandeville State Hospital...

of Earl K. Long, the fine governor
of the great state of Louisiana.

- Damn well said, Doctor.
- Yes, sir!

It might have been worse.

Hey, here he is! Governor,
what have you got to say?

Well, uh, I wanna thank y'all
for comin' here...

and, uh...
and use this occasion to...

officially open my campaign for governor
of the great state of Louisiana.

- I want to...
- Earl.

Well, lieutenant governor.
Whatever.

- Governor! Governor!
Could you tell us...
- I feel like I've been beaten on,
like I was a drum.

My head is bloody but unbowed!

- Governor!
- Governor!

You boys wanna move on back here?
Let the governor through.

The other night, dear

As I lay sleepin'

I dreamed I held you

In my arms

But when I woke, dear

I was mistaken

So I hung my head and cried

You are my sunshine

Earl, how are you?
How are you?

- My only sunshine
- How are you?

You make me happy

- When skies are grey
- Nice to see you.

- How are you?
- You'll never know, dear

How much I love you

- Hi, Jimmie.
- Please don't take my sunshine away
- Well, damn!

I'll always love you
and make you happy

Well, hello, folks!

If you will only
say the same

But if you leave me

To love another

You'll regret it all
some day

You are my sunshine

My only sunshine

- Earl, I'm a big fan of Miss Starr.
- How are ya?

Lord knows I'd love to be
in your shoes with her.

She's a fine woman, but, uh...

she's hurtin' you.

Oh, rubbish. The only thing's hurtin' me
is my progressive ideas.

Yeah, uh, well...

Blaze Starr is the most
progressive idea you got, Governor.

I mean, your home parish
is runnin' against ya.

Look at 'em.

I came back from Washington,,,

- to campaign forJimmie Davis,,,
- Yeah!

- Because this wreck of a man,,,
- Sit down!

This pubic embarrassment here,,,

- I haven't seen you
since you were about that tall.
- This proven nigger lover,,,

this shameless chaser
of young women,,,

this time-honoured crook,,,

this dangerous thinker...
when he's able to think at all...

with tendencies towards socialism,,,

this outrageous affront
to the people of Louisiana,,,

the last gasp of Longism,,,

must be defeated!

Vote forJimmie Davis!

Thank you, friends,
Thank you,

Well, you all know me,
I'm Chester Thibodeaux,,,

runnin'for governor on the ticket
with your own Earl K, Long,

Hello.

- Hello. Hello, folks.
- A few remarks that I'd like to make,,,

about the hopes, aspirations,
and ambitions of...

Thank you very much, Chester, That was
gonna be a fine speech, And I know,,,

'cause I heard it before,

- And he's gonna be a fine governor,
- Thank you. Thank you very much.

Now, I come back
to my home parish here,,,

so you can judge for yourself,

- Do I look crazy?
- No!

Earl! Earl! Earl!

Hey, Earl!
What about that striptease dancer?

Now, that's a damn lie,

Old man like me wouldn't
know what to do,,,

with a striptease artiste,,,

even if I could catch her,

You see, I've been in the nut house,
but I got out,

And I got the papers to prove it,
unlike my opponents over here,

If I have been crazy...

Must be quite a boost
for your career...

having your shabby-ass love affair
with a man of Earl's distinction.

- Are you questioning my intentions?
- Yeah. Hell, yeah, I am. Damn sure am.

- Well, for your information,
me and Earl are in love.
- You're in love, huh?

Whole damn world's in love... chickens,
cows, goats, turkeys, monkeys, apes.

- Everything's in love.
- I don't need any speeches...

especially from a man whose main talent
lies in "Yes, Mr Earl.

It's a fine, good damn idea,
Mr Earl. Yes, sir."

Why don't you shut the hell up?
I ain't no yes-man.

In private, I tell him the truth.

There ain't a chance in hell
in a snowstorm that's he's
gonna know the truth,

Hell, I'm as great a believer
in Earl K. Long as anybody
that ever damn lived.

I love the man too.

Here it is a week before the election.
We can't do nothin' about the niggers.

We can't do nothin' about
that damn nut house...

but we can do somethin' about you.

You could leave.

I'm stayin' with Earl.

Well, if you stay, you'll be witnessin'
the final days of a great man.

Earl?

Yeah.

Earl, we gotta talk.

Fine-lookin' bunch of hogs,
ain't it?

It's all over, Earl.

What do you mean, "over"?

Campaign's just gettin'
into high gear.

That is not
what I am talkin' about.

I am talkin' about us, Earl.

We can't see each other no more.

You've gotta move back
in the governor's mansion...

and you gotta be buddies with your
cronies again, because they love you.

And they're right...
you got problems.

Problems? I thrive on 'em.

I beg for 'em. I wallow around in 'em
like a pig in slop.

Your political instincts are clouded
by the aroma of my perfume.

Blaze?

Quit that. Come on over here
and cloud my instincts some more.

Quit occupyin' the high moral ground.
Frankly, it's unbecomin'.

Earl, if you win,
we can be together again...

'cause then it won't matter
what people think.

What do you mean "if" I win?

I meant to say, "when" you win.

You still love me
if I wasn't the fine governor
of the great state of Louisiana?

Would you still love me if I had
little tits and worked in a fish house?

- Ain't the same.
- Is so.

- What are you scared of?
- I'm scared of losin' you.

I'm scared of losin' the election.

You know, if I lose this election,
I'm just gonna be one more...

two-bit tinhorn, loudmouthed old man
that just couldn't get re-elected.

You'd be the ex-governor.
Now, that is somethin'.

I don't wanna be ex-governor.
I ain't ex-governor material.

Whenever I'm right about us,
you start shoutin'.

Now, I'm right about this, aren't I?

That old stuffed bobcat
is magic, you know?

Lt'll take care of you...

when we ain't together.

Y'all doin' all right?

Ma, it's Belle!

Belle's home!
Belle's home!

- She's home!
- Belle!
- She's here!

- Belle's here!
- Mama, she's here!

- Belle!
- You're home!

- Hi!
- Hi!
- Hi!

- Oh, we're so glad to see you.
- Oh, Belle!

Well, help me get my things out.
I got somethin' for everybody.

Okay, I'll get this.

You look different,
but good.

I've gotta talk to you.

- I've bungled everything.
- Oh, no.

Nobody bungles everything.

- This is for you.
- What?

Well, I left my boyfriend.

This is a big week for him,
and I was kinda gettin' in the way.

Did you leave him for good
or for temporary?

Well, that's what I came home
to talk to you about.

Well, talk.

Well...

You see, I'm not exactly
a singer...

in the normal use of that term.

And my boyfriend...

is an important person
in the public eye.

And, uh, we make an unusual couple.

Mama, I don't know how
to explain this to you...

but the rest of the world
is a little more complicated
than Twelvepole Creek.

I know that, Belle.
I wanna show you somethin'.

I get 'em from the bus driver.

He sees 'em up in Huntington.

Why didn't you ever say anything?

Because I didn't want
to embarrass you.

Are you disappointed with me?

I would've preferred a different
profession. I would have.

But if this is wherein
your talent lies...

then the Christian thing to do
is to make the most of it.

Come over here
and give me a hug. Right now.

Oh, Belle.

Can I ask you something personal?

Mm-hmm.

Is Earl Long crazy?

He ain't well, but he ain't crazy.
I swear it on a stack of Bibles.

Well, I'd like to think
about this for the night...

and maybe talk it over
with the Lord.

Mama, while you're praying,
you might throw in a request...

for a heavy turnout
in the central parishes of Louisiana.

We're gettin' an unusually
heavy turnout...

in the central parishes.

- Yeah, we are, Earl.
- Bye-bye.

Seems like we're havin'
a little trouble downstate...

like the votin' machine's
runnin' against us.

Has Blaze called yet?

No, she ain't called yet.

That's it for the congressional report
from the Deep South,

We move to the gubernatorial primaries,
starting with Louisiana,,,

- where Dellesseps Morrison
has captured first,
- Louisiana. Here comes Louisiana.

Second place going to singer
Jimmie Davis,

Third place to Willie Rainach,
Fourth place to Big Bill Dodd,

And last place to the ticket
of Earl Long and Chester Thibodeaux,

- Fifth place.
- This stunning defeat spells
the probable end of a long dynasty,,,

- which began a generation ago...
- Ben, turn it off.

He said that.

JW, I can't get him out
of the damn closet.

- Where's he at?
- In there.

- How you doin', Chester?
- Hello. How are you?

Come on in here.
Sure is good to see you.

Earl?

Earl, come on out of the closet.

She ain't comin' back,
not to a has-been.

Earl, come on out of there.
You're messin' up your own damn party.

It ain't my party!

I bet that damn woman snuck back
to Bourbon Street with some other guy.

Earl, you know that ain't right.
Come on, you... Just simmer down
a little bit and come on out.

Simmer down?
Hell, I'm gettin' outta here.

Earl!

Earl! Come on back here!

- Where in the hell is he going to?
- I don't know...

- Let's go get my car. Come on.
- All right.

Step right up! $3.00!
The most glamorous women on the strip!

Step right up!

- Where's Blaze?
- She ain't here, Mr Governor.

Now, she went home to see her mama,
and she ain't back yet.

- Bullshit. Where is she?
- No, it ain't bullshit.
- You foolin' around with her?
- No, no. You know I ain't done nothin'.

- Are you foolin' around with her?
- You know I ain't done nothin', Mr Earl.
- Are you gettin' a little, huh?

- Are you?
- I ain't done nothin' with her, Mr Earl.
- Blaze!

- In fact, I voted for you twice.
- Blaze.

Now don't you be goin' off and doin'
something crazy at the Showbar.

Blaze!

Blaze! Where are you?
You out here?

- Huh?
- You scared the fish girl.

Where are you?

Goddam TV.

Put that gun down.

Well...

"As a dog returneth to his vomit...

"so a fool...

returneth to his folly."

The Lord gave.

The Lord taketh away!

Blessed be the name of the...

You goddam whore.

You...

redheaded...

harlot!

She run out on me!
And you know why?

Because... 'Cause I run fifth place
last time on the track.

You after my money? Well, surprise!
I don't have any!

People think I'm linin' my pockets.

The fact is, money bores me!

Now, what the hell do I need
with a woman like that?

You are...

just the prettiest thing
that I ever saw.

I heard you were lookin' for me.

I told you she'd come back.

Maybe things would've been a little
different if I hadn't been around.

No. I lost 'cause my political views
is too futuristic.

That and TV.

My God, I hate TV.

I like TV.

Looks like we're missin'
quite a party.

We're not missing anything.

Oh, my God.

It's... big.

Marry me.

Earl, there's something
you ought to know about me...

something I gotta confess.

- Well, what's that?
- I can't cook.

We'll work around it.

You know, maybe it's time for old Earl
to become domesticated.

Might be a humbling experience.

You'd have thought so last night,

You'rejust in time,
Please help me button this, will you?

Sure, Princess,

- Betty...
- Does this really look all right on me?

I'm just mad about yellow,

How you doin', baby?

You know what I would like
in my retirement?

- What's that, honey?
- A TV tray. I seen 'em advertised.

You know you can put food
right on those damn things?

Well, we'll see if we can get us some.

Simply wonderful, Father,
and so sophisticated,

- Looks good.
- Mm-hmm.

Well, I'm goin' back to work soon.
I'm gonna make some money.

Eyes dark and dreamy brown,
Shoulders broad,

Tweeds mostly, He has a small scar
just under the left eye,

You wanna go for a Sunday drive?

- Hmm?
- No. I think I'll...

just get some sleep.

Alexandria newspaper called up.

They're sending out a couple of guys
to do an interview.

Well, that's wonderful.

So, what are they
gonna write about?

Well, I'm gonna suggest
that it be a story about, uh...

a thoroughbred turned out
to a stud pasture in his golden years.

Well, how are you?

Earl Kemp Long, ex-governor of the great
state of Louisiana. People call me
"Governor" if so inclined.

- My pleasure, sir.
- Good mornin'.

- Well, then...
- Excuse me, but is Miss Starr ready?

Miss Starr... is expecting you.

Honey, the people are here.

I got some other fish
to fry here.

- Good morning, gentlemen.
- Good morning, Miss Starr.
- Good morning.

- No pictures.
- No pictures?

- Why not?
- I don't have a story without pictures.

Put it away.

Well, I thought maybe we could
talk to you about your future.

I don't wanna talk about my future.

I don't wanna talk about
my past or my present.

Miss Starr?

Tell me something.
When's the next election in Louisiana?

Well, there's always an election
in Louisiana.

Fact is, there's a national
congressional primary comin' up.

National politics, huh?

- You, uh... You wouldn't be thinkin'
about Uncle Earl, would you?
- Son of a...

And what if I was?

Well, uh...
No disrespect intended, ma'am...

but he's not exactly dealin'
off the top of the deck any more, is he?

Earl K. Long is the sanest man
I've ever known.

Interview's over, boys.

But, Miss Starr!

Hello.

How you doin', Blaze?

JW, I got some great news for you.
Earl wants to make a comeback.

Earl wants to make a comeback, huh?

Okay, uh, what's he gonna run for?

Earl is ready for national politics.

If Kennedy wins,
he's gonna need some help,

- Are you with us?
- Well, I gotta tell ya...

right now, that answer's no.

Well, I take that as a yes.
I look forward to seein' you fellas.

Oh! Earl! Earl!

Guess what!
Your cronies just called...

and they desperately want you back
to run for national office.

They're beggin' for you.

You're crazy.
I'm finished down there.

Don't give me that self-pity stuff.
It don't look good on you.

- You're pullin' my leg.
- I certainly am not.

I just got off the phone with them
right now.

LaGrange, Thibodeaux, Doc Ferriday...
every last one of them.

They want you back.
They called from Baton Rouge.

Sounded real urgent, but I told them
you're busy, so I took a message.

But they are waitin' by their phone
right this very minute...

waitin' for you to call them back.

And they're beggin' for me?

They are begging for you
on their hands and knees.

Well, goddam.

It's about time.

You know, those bums
up in Washington...

they're worse than the hoodlums
we got down here.

Federal highways full of potholes.

Hot-lunch programs...
they're gettin' lukewarm.

It says in the Bible, Proverbs 19...

Governor, what about that stripteaser?

That is a goddam lie.

Oh, when the saints go marchin'in

Now, when the saints
go marchin'in

You know that I want to be
in that number

When the saints go marchin'in

Now, when the sun
refuse to shine

Now, when the sun refuse to shine

Don't forget, Vote for Earl K, Long,

Now, I want to be in that number

When the sun refuse to shine

Vote for the little man's friend...
Earl K, Long!

Well, lookee, lookee, lookee.

What have we got here?

Arvin Deeter.

Man drives to dinner
in a Rolls Royce.

He comes to work in a Chevrolet.

Don't come too close, boy.
I bite.

Huh. Be interestin' to see how
the parish warms to a socialistic...

- That's right.
- Nigger-lovin', woman-chasin' lunatic
from the mental hospital. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah? Well, some people say
it'd be an improvement.

I love that man.

Let's hear it for ol' Deeter!

Get over here!

It ain't his fault that he's got
a face like a catfish...

talks out of both sides
of his mouth...

whistles, lies, smokes cigarettes
all at the same time.

People in this parish are entitled
to somethin' better than that.

Yeah, come on, baby! Yeah!

This fallen man...

lies at the feet of a woman
with coloured hair...

- sinful clothes...
- That's right.

Painted eyes.

Exotic, erotic...

wanton, lewd and hell-bound!

Earl! Earl! Earl! Earl!

Earl! Earl! Earl! Earl!

Earl! Earl! Earl! Earl!

Keep it as a souvenir.
Vote for Earl.

- Look at ol' high-hat...
- Yeah!

Sweet-smellin',
silk-stockin' Deeter.

- You tell 'em, Earl!
- Puts that sticky stuff under his arm.

Charlie, if you get Deeter and his boys
to give up a bottle of bourbon...

six beers and a pack of cigarettes
every four days...

they would all become saints.

- There would be a chicken in every pot.
- That's right!

- Every man would be a king.
- Uh-huh!

That's the price of civilization.

Before I would sell out
the poor coloured people,
the poor white people,,,

have people hidin'them, fighten'them
and burnin'up their homes,,,

I would sacrifice being president
of the United States...

- vice-president, U.S. Senator.
- Tell 'em, Earl!

The three best friends
that the poor people ever had...

Jesus Christ, Sears and Roebuck...

and Earl K. Long!

The ongoing story of the Long family
dynasty in Louisiana,,,

continues to add more bizarre chapters
as former governor Earl K, Long,,,

attempts a pathetic bid
for election to national office,

Rocked by a scandalous affair
with a famous exotic dancer,,,

- Long has mounted
a grassroots campaign,,,
- Aw, leave her alone!

- With no visible backing
from his usual party sources,
- Sit down, old man!
- What's the matter? You wanna look?

- The former governor went to
a mental hospital earlier this year,,,
- All right. Take a real look!

- He is also the subject
of ongoing investigations...
- Well, if I was crazy then,
I am crazy now...

and I'm gonna be crazy
for the rest of my life.

They say I fell in love
with a striptease dancer.

Well, they're right.

- I'm guilty.
- Thank you, sweetie.

They say I raised taxes.

They're right.
I am guilty.

They say I built bridges
and hospitals and roads.

They're right!
I'm guilty!

They say Louisiana
got the best old-age pension...

in the United States of America.

They're right.
I'm guilty.

Then they say I fought the poll tax
and the reading lists...

so that everybody in the country
could vote.

Right! Guilty! Guilty!
And Guilty!

"Dear Mama, we're headin' up
to Winnfield for election day.

"Don't be disappointed
if Earl don't win.

"He's happy, or at least
as close to happy as he gets.

"Most of the important people in
Louisiana don't speak to him any more.

"And the press,
well, they just laugh.

"I'm gonna be votin' for Congress.

You might pray for me. It's
my first time, and I'm pretty nervous."

Blaze Starr.

How would you like a ride
to headquarters in my car?

Governor, I think
it's a fine day for a walk.

Well, that's exactly what I said.

It is a fine day for a walk.

Everything okay?

Oh, election's in the bag.

Papers say you're in trouble,
as usual.

Well, day before an election,
can't ever find anybody that says
they're gonna vote for me.

And the day after an election,
can't find anybody ever said
they did vote for me.

It's always been the same.
How are things at the club?

Fine, I guess.

There's a lot of new pressure for me
and the rest of the girls to, uh...

that we drop our G-strings.

They say
it's the wave of the future.

Well...

civilization
is at the crossroads...

in every department.

- Well, good-lookin' melons here.
- Find us a good one, sweetie.

Well, I'm gonna thump a few
and see if they talk back.

No.

No. No.

- So how's Earl doin'?
- Well, the newspapers hate him...

and Deeter's come up with some
evidence about his tax problems...

and, uh, hell, the Democratic
machine ain't gave him a damn dime...

and he's 20 points behind
in the polls.

Things are lookin' pretty good.

Hello. Hello.

That's a good-lookin' one.

- Damn!
- Oh!
- Governor!
- Honey!

- Governor!
- It's his heart!
- Earl?

- Governor!
- Get outta the way.
- Can you breathe, sweetie?

- Maybe he's chokin' on something.
- Give him some air.
- You all right? What's the matter?

- Goddam it! Get away from me.
- Get back. Give him some air.
- Earl?

- I just had something bad for breakfast.
- It's his heart.

- You want your pills?
- Yeah. Give me my pill.
- He's hurt bad. Leave him alone.
- You have to get him to the hospital.

Uh! Take me to the hospital,
I'll fire everybody.

- You're doin' fine.
- Somebody get an ambulance.
- Yeah, let's get an ambulance.

Oh, yeah, just broadcast
that I ain't fit for office.

- Earl, listen to me. You need
to go to the hospital now!
- Honey! Honey!

You tell 'em where I gotta go.
You tell 'em, honey.

- Blaze, tell him he's gotta go
to the hospital right now.
- You don't want...

- You don't want to go to the hospital?
- Uh-uh.
- Take him to the hotel.

- If he wins, he'll fire all of you.
- Oh, for God's sake, he's sick.

Everybody just leave me alone, will you?
Just give me some air.

- I'm all right.
- Easy now.
- You're gettin' your colour back.

I'm all right.
That was a fine melon.

- You're right.
It was a damn fine melon.
- I'm all right.

- You all right.
- I'm all right.
- All right, Earl.

- Don't get hit by a car.
- I'm all right.
- Somebody stop the traffic.

- Hey.
- How are you?
- Nice to see you.

Sam, good to see you.

- Hello, Governor.
- Hello, Governor.
- How are you? How are you?
Thanks for comin'.

- Vote for Earl.
- Oh, yeah.
- Good evening, Governor.

How are you?
Nice to see you again.

- Evenin', Governor.
- Evenin'.

- Boy, heat's really fierce,
isn't it, Johnny?
- It really is.

All right. You're in the clear now,
Earl. You're gonna be okay.

Here. Here. Sit down, Earl.
Right here.

- What time is it?
- It's, uh, 5.00, Earl.

Uh, the polls are still open.
Prop me up, boys.

Stick me in the window.
Let 'em see I'm okay.

You get a good turnout
in Goldonna?

We're checking on it for you, Earl.
Now just get some rest, will you?

I don't want any rest.
Give me that.

Oh. Come on, Earl. Listen to somebody
else for a change, will you?

- Come over here, Mr Earl.
- Here you go.
- Right here.

Take it easy now.
You're gonna make it all right.

- That's it. You all right now?
- We'll put you up in the window.

Wait a minute.

- There you go.
- East of the river, there's a guy...

- Oh, what's his name?
- Joe Lee Jackson.

Yeah. Joe Lee Jackson.

- The guy with the trucks, right?
- Yeah.

He owes Earl a favour. Get him to send
out his trucks to pick up some voters.

All right. Sid, Harold, Bob,
go on and do that.

Oh, give me my pill.

It's okay, Bobby.
Thank you.

Well, open 'em up boys.
I'm ready.

- Take a shot of that.
- Yeah, I got it.

Things look okay to you?

Kinda hard to tell with Earl.

Oh, yeah.

"Joe Lee.
Joe Lee Jackson."

You tell him Uncle Earl
wants him to get here.

Joe Lee Jackson. Hey, look, I'm calling
for Uncle Earl. I need your truck.

- I'll see y'all later.
- See ya.

Come on. Come on.

- There. It's 8.00.
- Yeah, the polls have closed.

The polls are closed now, Earl.

- You want me to shut the blinds,
Mr Earl?
- Yeah. It's dark.

I bet ol' Deeter's scared to death.
Split-tongued heathen.

All right. Hospital, Earl.

Now, damn it, can we get you
to a hospital?

- Get me to a couch.
- Oh, Earl.

You... You're out of
your cotton-pickin' mind.

You know that, don't you? Hmm?

Easy now. Easy.
Right here.

There we go.

- Okay.
- That's it.

All right, keep his head up.
Yeah, that's good.

Well, it's almost time
for the first returns, Earl.

But now we'll go have a look
for you...

and, uh, see how things
is developin', okay?

- Okay.
- Earl, all you gotta do is...

I want you to take care of yourself.
We'll find out what the polls say,
all right?

See how we're doin' in Monroe.

I always done good in Monroe.

Goodbye, Joe

Me got to go

Me oh, my oh

Me got to go
pole the pirogue

Down the bayou

My Yvonne, the sweetest one

Me oh, my oh

Son of a gun

We'll have big fun

On the bayou

Doesn't look too bad, huh?

What happened to all
your boys there, Deeter?

Looks like they're a little slow
in gettin' out.

Well, at least my voters ain't dead.

I killed your votes, snake chucker.

- You boys can kick the bucket.
- Yeah, good luck to you.
- Yeah, same to you.

Hey, Doc.

We snuck right by him!

I love you.

I love you too.

You gotta promise me somethin'.

We get married right after
this election's over.

Trust me.

All right!
Earl! Earl, you won!

- Good God almighty.
- We're back in.
- We're on our way to Washington.

Well, of course he won.

What'd you expect?

We'd like to be alone for a bit,
if you don't mind.

Yes, ma'am, Miss Starr.

What has happened down here
is the wind has changed

Clouds roll in from the north
and it start to rain

Rained real hard
and it rained for a real long time

Six feet of water
in the streets of Evangeline

River rose all day
The river rose all night

Some people got lost in the flood

Some people got away all right

The river had busted through
clear down to Plaquemines

Six feet of water
in the streets of Evangeline

Louisiana

Louisiana

They're tryin'to wash us away

They're tryin'to wash us away

Louisiana

Louisiana

They're tryin'to wash us away

They're tryin'to wash us away

President Coolidge come down
in a railroad train

With a little fat man
with a notepad in his hand

The president say
Little fat man, isn't it a shame

What the river has done

To this poor cracker's land

Louisiana

Louisiana

They're tryin'to wash us away

They're tryin'to wash us away

Louisiana

Louisiana

They're tryin'to wash us away

They're tryin'to wash us away

They're tryin'to wash us away

They're tryin'to wash us away

Goodbye, Joe, me got to go
Me oh, my oh

Me got to go pole the pirogue
down the bayou

My Yvonne, sweetest one
Me oh, my oh

Son of a gun
We'll have big fun on the bayou

Jambalaya, crawfish pie
fil? gumbo

'Cause tonight I'm gonna see
my mes cheres amis, oh

Pick guitar, fill fruit jar
and be gay, oh

Son of a gun
We'll have big fun on the bayou

Thibodeaux, Fontaineaux
The place is buzzin'

Kinfolk come to see Yvonne
by the dozen

Dressed in style, go hog wild
Me oh, my oh

Son of a gun
We'll have big fun

On the bayou

And listen to me,

For one time in your life,
you believe me,

All of that rowdy stuff
was exaggerated,

And if there was any,
it was precipitated,,,

by those 'won't quit'
newspaper people,

- Hello?
- Hello, Governor,
- Well, they looked like
they wasn't gonna leave,,,

so I told some of these fellas,
these police... we had about three...

to get 'em outta there,
put up a curtain,

I looked up at the transom,
and there was one of them bastards
about to crawl through it,

I started to throw
that champagne bottle at him,

- Hello?
- Hello, Governor,
- I don't give a damn if you
puttin'this on there,

- Well, I'm not gonna use that portion,
- You can use it if you want to,

- Well, l...
- You know, the truth's the truth,

- Not unless you want me to, Governor,
- Go ahead, I want you to,

With anything I said, you can record it,
you can put it in the paper,

I've got one language,
and that's the truth,

- Hello?
- Hello,