Blanche (2018) - full transcript

- Tommy, Tomas!

Come unlock this gate!

What are you doing locking
yourself inside your own fence?

Well, I'll be dad gum.

- What are you doing, Clifford?

- Doing fine, Tomas?

How are you?

- Bueno.

We're good.

- Is that a fact?

- Well, what is a fact nowadays?



- Well, I
just wanted to come out

and check on you.

- Check on me?

I don't need checking on.

- The whole
gang's worried about you

living out here like some hermit.

- I doubt
they're worried about me.

- Oh, yes, they are.

- Hey Clifford, you want a beer?

- No, since I graduated from whiskey A&M,

I've been holding the line.

No more cerveza, doctor's orders.

- Well, if you're not here for a free beer

what brings you out?



- Tommy, I came to check on you.

Nobody sees you anymore but I
can tell from your ice chest

that you've been sneaking
into town buying beer and ice.

Why don't you ever holler?

- I don't know.

- What do you do all day?

Look at this place?

No running water, no electricity.

Just you and the great outdoors.

What are you doing with a chicken?

- Well, Suzanne gave her to me.

- Just you and the chicken, huh?

- Her name is Blanche.

- Well, at least it's
not a Canadian goose.

Tommy, I've been mowing
your yard for months.

Your neighbors are complaining
I don't edge the sidewalks.

You shouldn't be mowing my yard.

I'll get some young kid to do that for us.

- That's not the point.

The point is that you're moping out here

like a wounded buffalo,
living like a hermit.

Nobody sees you anymore.

- I'm not moping.

- I know, I know.

Listen, Tomas, why don't you come over

to Suzanne's this afternoon?

The whole gang has been asking about you.

- I like it out here.

This country life fits me just fine.

- You and Thoreau, "Live
the life you have imagined"

"Simplify, simplify."

"The world is but a canvas
to your imagination."

- Your memory just amazes me, Clifford.

Do you ever forget anything?

- It's my residual pool.

It's wide as the Atlantic
and only an inch deep.

Forgetting has never been a problem.

Regretting has.

- Yeah, well, you shoulda
had regrets in your youth,

not now when you're
too old to play around.

- Just like my friend Jerry Puckett said,

"Age has done more for my morals

"than all the Sunday
schools in the world."

- What does Melinda
think about your morals?

- Well, she
thinks they're better.

Remarrying Melinda on our anniversary

was the best decision I ever made,

other than marrying
her in the first place.

- Well, she's an angel,
a God-for-sure angel.

Hanging on to you is a
testament to her tenacity.

- Or to my magnetic personality.

- Are you gonna stay for supper?

I'll go catch us a catfish.

- Catfish?

- Yeah, down here

in the pond we got catfish.

They're easy to catch.

One cast, you know, one catfish.

Yeah, I feed 'em dog food.

- Dog food?

I think I'll pass.

- You're more than welcome to stay.

- I think I'll pass.

Listen compadre, I just
wanted to remind you

of Suzanne's happy hour.

Everybody would like to see you.

Come on into town and visit some.

Of course we wouldn't wanna interrupt

your dinner conversations with Blanche.

- Well, there's something to be said

to have a companion
that doesn't talk back.

- Tommy, next time you're in town

sneaking around buying
beer and ice, holler at me.

This Thoreau business can get outta hand.

You take care, you hear?

- I will and you, too.

- How are you Suzanne?

- Good to see you, Cliff.

- Good to see you.

- Take a load off your feet.

There's water in there, too.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

So how's Tommy?

- Oh, he's
as depressed as ever.

- Oh poor Tomas.

- He claims that he likes living alone

like some modern-day Thoreau.

Did you give him a
chicken to cheer him up?

- I did send my little hen out there

that the rooster had been
chasing unmercifully.

- He's named her Blanche.

- Blanche?

- He hand feeds her,

waits on her hand and foot,

treats her like some long lost soul mate.

I swear they talk to each other.

- What an odd couple.

- It's a sad a state of affairs.

- Well, she's a real beauty.

Maybe she'll make Tommy happy.

- Don is saving the planet
from marauding coyotes.

- Well, that sounds like a chore.

- Say, Suzanne, can chickens fly?

- Well, Cliff, every evening
my Orpingtons fly to the roost.

- I was just thinking.

- Oh dear, that sounds dangerous.

- Clifford J.,
you gotta be kidding me.

- I am not kidding you.

This is the airplane that you shoot

coyotes out of, isn't it?

- You bet it is.

This thing'll fly backwards

if I can get the wind just right.

These coyotes anymore have
gotten to where they're so smart

that it's the only way I can get 'em.

- Well, it's perfect for our project.

All you have to do is
throw a couple of chickens

out the window when
you're going real slow.

No spins, no barrel rolls,

no bombing like you did in Vietnam.

Just toss a couple of chickens out.

That's all you have to do.

- That's the craziest thing I ever heard.

- No, it's a bet between Tommy and I

to see whose chicken can fly the furthest

and it's for Tommy's sake, believe me.

- Craziest thing I ever heard.

You guys have been making bets
like this for over 60 years

but I can tell you for sure
this one's gonna take the cake.

- What's stupid about this bet to see

whose chicken can fly the furthest?

- You guys have lost all your marbles.

Don't you know they say this is exactly

how Alzheimer's starts?

- And one more little thing
that I want you to do.

When you're flying up there

to a thousand feet, reach behind
you and pull some feathers

out of Tommy's chicken so
it doesn't fly so well.

- You gotta be kidding me.

- No!

You need to do this.

I'm serious.

It's for Tommy's sake.

- Wait a minute.

You're telling me for Tommy's
sake I'm pulling feathers

out of Tommy's chickens' butt,
but it's for Tommy's sake?

- Well, I've got to win the bet

but the whole project is for Tommy's sake.

Tommy's won 90% of the
bets that we've ever made

and this is my chance to
double down and catch up.

We're betting 100 United States dollars

on whose chicken can fly the furthest.

- Well, if it's for Tommy, I'll do it.

- Well, we're counting on you, Don Juan.

You're a good man and there
aren't many of us left.

♪ Saddle up your horse and take a ride ♪

♪ To the mountaintop
where I am resting high ♪

♪ Way up on the rim ♪

♪ Can you feel the gentle wind ♪

♪ Rustling through the
memories of your mind ♪

♪ Close your eyes and
let's go back in time ♪

♪ Saddle up your horse and take ride ♪

♪ Tip your hat and look across the sky ♪

♪ Can you see me dancing
in the golden light ♪

♪ You're still a part of me ♪

♪ And the reason I believe ♪

♪ That love can reach
out from the other side ♪

♪ To let you know that I am doing fine ♪

♪ Saddle up your horse and take a ride ♪

♪ Letting go ♪

♪ Doesn't mean that you don't love me ♪

♪ Let me go ♪

♪ So you can live again ♪

♪ Even though I'm gone ♪

♪ Our love will still live on ♪

♪ Giving you the strength to survive ♪

- Hey, Carolyn.

- Clifford,
don't you even knock?

I coulda been in the shower.

- Well, I'll come back and
see if my luck's any better.

- You're impossible!

Get in here.

How are Melinda and the kiddos?

- They're all doing great.

Melinda's an angel to put up with me.

- It would take an angel!

- Do you mind if I smoke?

- Of course, I mind if you,
put those cancer sticks away.

Those things are gonna kill you!

I've been telling you that.

I thought you quit.

- You've been telling me that

since I was in the eighth grade.

But actually what I came by for

was to talk about our friend.

- About Tommy.

I haven't seen him since Liz's funeral.

- That's why I came by.

Tommy and I are driving to Marfa tomorrow.

Why don't you join us?

- Why are you gonna to Marfa?

- I told Tommy about the new hotel

and he said he wanted to see it.

He's not happy about Marfa
being a postmodern art mecca

for people with skinny jeans.

- He's not alone in that.

- It'll just bring more
weirdos to West Texas.

Next thing you know, the people in Marfa

will be speaking French.

- Donald Judd started it all.

Who would've thought that Marfa

would turn into a postmodern art mecca.

- I've got lines going to my septic tank

that are more artistic
than Donald Judd's cubes.

- You just don't understand
his work, Clifford.

He's a minimalist.

You have to put it into context.

- He's no minimalist.

He owns half the buildings in Marfa.

He has a home in New York City,

a home in Germany.

He's bought a bunch of
ranches in Presidio County.

Tommy's the minimalist.

He's living out there drinking
water out of a horse trough,

got one spoon, one fork, one knife,

one plate, and a fishing pole.

- A fishing pole?

- His dirt tank is full of catfish.

He feeds 'em dog food

and he talks to his chicken.

- He talks to a chicken?

- Yes, he named the chicken Blanche.

Wouldn't surprise me if he
turned into a Buddhist monk.

- He's just missing Liz.

You know this is hard for him.

- I know, I know

but Tommy's not designed to be a recluse.

He needs to be around his friends.

That's why you need to
come to Marfa with us.

- Maybe I will.

It's been a long time
since the three of us

kicked around together, Clifford.

- Since high school.

- But we did have some fun, didn't we?

- Yes, we did.

All I ever wanted to do in high school

was get into your knickers.

Nothing I tried worked.

That's why I started smoking.

- Don't blame me for your bad habits.

- Why didn't you marry me or Tommy

instead of that worthless Lester?

Here I was a future
attorney, a man of the bar.

Tommy was a successful rancher.

Either one of us would have
been better than Lester.

- You know I could never
choose between you and Tommy

and I sure couldn't handle you both.

Anyway, Lester's awful good looking.

- Well, he's bald as a cue ball now

and he's on his fourth wife.

You're lucky it didn't last.

- Yeah, but I have my beautiful children

and my grandbaby Ryan.

I have no regrets.

- Ah, regrets are my department.

I'll pick you up Friday?

- Okay, what time?

'Bout 10:30.

And don't wear too many clothes.

We may play some strip dice.

- You always lost
but we'll stop the game

before we get too
embarrassed this time, okay?

Remember?

- I remember how y'all
left me out of high and dry

halfway to Marfa in nothing
but my boxers and one boot.

Hasta lumbago.

- Okay.

Adios, Clifford.

- Hey, you're getting to
be a regular around here.

- Well, somebody's gotta keep you

on the straight and normal.

Besides I brought you some presents.

- All right, a six pack of beer.

I know what to do with that.

- Well, since I quit
drinking you're the one

that's gotta keep the beer
distributors in business.

- What's this?

- Some dog
food for your catfish?

- That'll keep 'em barking.

Chicken scratch?

- It's for Blanche.

I been thinking about Blanche.

- You've been thinking about Blanche?

What in the world are you
thinking about Blanche for?

- I've been thinking about
how far Blanche can fly.

- Blanche can fly?

- Tomas, since we've been betting,

you won about 90% of the bets

ever since that we bet a quarter

on whose chinch bug
would uncurl the first.

You could retire on the
bets you've won from me.

- Maybe so.

- And I figured out a
way to get my money back.

I'm gonna bet you $100 that my chicken

can outfly your old Blanche.

- You don't even have a chicken.

- Now, how do you know?

I may be the boss of a chicken syndicate.

The Flying Leghorns,
the Dominating Dominics,

the Roaring Rhode Island Reds.

- What in the world are you
talking about, Clifford?

Flying chickens?

- Well, it's better than talking chickens

where you sit and have
conversations with Blanche

while y'all eat catfish and dog food.

- We don't eat dog food.

That's for the fish.

- After I left the other
day I got to thinking

about all the bets that you've won from me

over the years and it's just not fair

to enrich a good friend like you

with my life savings.

- Well, I guess I have to ask you.

What kinda harebrained idea
you got dreamed up this time?

- I talked to our old
Vietnam vet buddy Don Juan

and he'll take our
chickens up a thousand feet

in his airplane and toss them out

and the chicken that flies
the furthest wins $100.

- Oh Lord.

- Thomas, all chickens can fly.

Just ask Suzanne.

And there's one other thing.

- Oh Lord.

- I want you to go to
Marfa with me tomorrow.

- I don't need to go to Marfa.

- I didn't say need.

You ain't gonna believe
what the artists have built,

smack dab downtown.

- In downtown Marfa?

- A new four-story hotel.

Looks like a Donald Judd
cube with 50,000 acres

of free parking in any direction.

I'll pick you up at 11 if
Blanche can do without you

for a few hours.

- Clifford, you're 3/4 crazy.

- Well a friend
in need is a friend indeed.

I'll see you manana.

- Adios.

- Cliff, I said a chicken
could fly to the roost.

I didn't say you could drop
'em from a thousand feet.

- It's not flying, it's gliding.

What if I borrow that old
self-important rooster of yours.

You say he's always pestering your hens.

Let's give the girls a little vacation.

Okay, okay, I wasn't gonna do this

but I'll cut you in
for 15% of the winnings

as the rooster's agent.

What do you think about that?

- Clifford, seems like
I've got $200 invested

in these chickens and
you're offering me $15.

- Well, it's not for me.

It's for Tommy.

Trust me on this.

- If it'll help Tommy out of his funk,

I'm all in for it.

But if anything happens to
my roosters or my chickens

I hold you personally responsible.

- Yes, ma'am, yes, ma'am.

- Good.

- Where's Tommy?

- Hop in.

We're gonna pick him up at his ranch.

- Good to see that old boy.

- Hey, Carolyn.

- Tom.
- Been a long time.

I didn't know you were coming.

- You didn't?

- Tommy, Carolyn said she
wanted to see the hotel, too.

- Well, that'll be okay with me.

- Say, do you mind driving?

My gimpy knee's acting up on me.

- Well, I can do that.

Let's go.

- Remember when you guys
brought me duck hunting

out here that time and
crawled on our belly

and on the count of three you stood up

and shot enough ducks
for Thanksgiving dinner?

- Yeah, and we cut high card to see

who had to go get the dead ducks

and I near caught pneumonia.

- Well, if you woulda
died that woulda saved us

a lotta trouble.

- Oh.
- Tom!

- It's the truth!

- Yes.

Yeah.

Remember all the dreams we had
and the crazy things we did,

driving around getting in trouble?

- We're not
too old to get in trouble.

What'd you have in mind?

- I remember having the
biggest crush on both of you.

- Yeah, Clifford and I used to have a bet

to see who was gonna marry you.

We both lost that one.

- That's true.

- The truth is I loved
you both and I still do.

Being around you both makes me so happy,

you and your crazy bets.

Remember the time we were
out here dove hunting

and you had to bet on whose feather

was gonna hit the ground last

and I had to be the referee?

- And I won that one.

- And the time you two bet on
who would win a bicycle race

and Clifford showed up with
the lawnmower motor rigged

to his back tire.

- Well, I can still remember
him hittin' that pothole.

I could see it now.

- He flew over handlebars
30 miles an hour.

How he ever landed on
his feet is a miracle.

- It took me a quarter mile to slow down.

My first ride musta been 30 yards long.

- He still never did
reach the finish line.

I won that one, too.

- You did.

- And Carolyn, you won't believe

what Clifford dreamed up this time.

You wanna tell her?

- I've been thinking about all
the money I've lost to Tommy

a dollar at a time and it's
been weighing on my mind.

- Uh oh, here we go again.

Clifford, will you ever stop betting?

- Life is just a bet.

You should never take
yourself or life too seriously

'cause you're not gonna
get out of it alive anyway.

- Sometimes the road
can get a little rocky.

- "Sweet are the uses of adversity."

So we've all had a few bumps in the road.

- Some more than others.

- I'll never bet on the number of bumps.

- No.
- Amen.

Do you know what Clifford bet me now?

Yeah, Clifford you tell her.

- Tommy bet me that his Blanche

could outfly my Red Baron.

- I haven't made you a bet.

- What in the world are
you two talking about?

- Tomas, tell Carolyn about
your new girlfriend Blanche.

He's fallen in love with Blanche.

They live alone in the great outdoors

there to enjoy the simple life

and the grandeurs of nature.

- Tommy is Blanche your chicken?

Clifford told me Suzanne
gave you a chicken.

- Tommy and Blanche eat
together, they talk together.

Now, Blanche is a good-looking chicken

and I think the relationship's platonic.

- Oh Clifford, what's the bet?

What have you dreamed up this time?

- $100 for whose chicken
can glide the furthest.

Winner take all.

- What?

- Don is gonna take Tommy's
Blanche and my Red Baron

up in an airplane and drop
'em out at a thousand feet.

Whichever one glides
the furthest wins $100.

- Clifford, you're not
gonna throw chickens

out of an airplane!

That's cruel!

- We're not throwing babies

out of an airplane.

- You better not be
throwing chickens either.

- Carolyn, you amaze me.

Chickens have wings, don't they?

- I'm serious.

- Well, I haven't made the bet anyway.

- You know you will.

You can never resist him.

- And I can tell you this
and I haven't made any bets

but Blanche can outfly any rooster

that old Clifford can scrounge up.

- That'll be the day.

- You guys are impossible.

Let's go to Marfa.

- Vámonos

♪ Ooh ooh ♪

♪ Rolling down this West Texas highway ♪

♪ With the windows down
and the wind upon my face ♪

♪ Just a few more miles
to go to get to Marfa ♪

♪ But we can take our time along the way ♪

♪ Let's leave our worries
in the dust behind us ♪

♪ 'Cause up ahead we've got better days ♪

♪ The miles don't even matter ♪

♪ We can drive all day
until the sun goes down ♪

♪ Let's ride ♪

- Pull up over here, Tommy.

- What are we stopping for?

- I feel lucky.

Let's roll high dice for lunch.

- Oh Lord.

♪ Spin our wheels, kick up our heels ♪

♪ And bet that life
don't get much better ♪

♪ Than times like these ♪

♪ When the miles don't even matter ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ♪

- I'll throw first.

- Woo.

- Snake eyes!

The gods conspire against me.

Lunch is on me.

Now let's roll for each other's shirts.

- Okay, let's do it.

- Yeah.

♪ We could stir up trouble down the line ♪

- You guys are something else.

♪ We've had some bumps along the way ♪

♪ But that's okay ♪

♪ 'Cause this trip is worth
every roll of the dice ♪

♪ Every roll of the dice ♪

♪ The miles don't even matter ♪

♪ We can drive all day
until the sun goes down ♪

♪ Let's ride this road together ♪

♪ 'Cause it sure is good to
have good old friends around ♪

♪ Let's spin our wheels ♪

♪ Kick up our heels ♪

♪ And bet that life
don't get much better ♪

- What do you think?

- Well, it
really doesn't fit Marfa.

- No, it ain't
what you call contextual

but welcome to the new Marfa.

♪ Ooh ooh ♪

- All right, well, we're here.

♪ All our crazy schemes ♪

♪ And broken dreams ♪

- Don't you think it's time

you gave me my boot back?

- You're just lucky we didn't leave you

on the side of the road.

You shouldn't have rolled
for double or nothing.

♪ It's what livin' really means ♪

♪ Woo hoo ♪

♪ The miles don't even matter ♪

♪ We can drive all day
until the sun goes down ♪

♪ Let's ride this road together ♪

- Now, this is
architecture that fits West Texas.

- Yes, it is.

Remember when they filmed "Giant"?

Rock Hudson and Liz Taylor stayed here.

Remember the scene where Rock Hudson

took his daughter-in-law into the diner

and the guy refused to serve
them because she was Hispanic?

Do you remember that scene?

Rock Hudson lost the
fight but he won my heart.

- Yeah, I remember that scene.

- Chill Wills was my hero.

His only job was to get drunk with Rock

or to get drunk by himself
if Rock wasn't thirsty.

- Drunks are not heroes.

- James Dean was kind of a hero

till he lost the road race
from the movie set into Marfa.

Aunt June Elkins was driving
a Plymouth station wagon

that Bunk Pfiester had souped up.

- Tommy, didn't you date
Socorro in high school?

- Yeah, for a little while.

Her folks and my folks they didn't think

it was a very good idea.

You weren't supposed to cross
those divides back then.

- She was beautiful and I was so jealous.

- You were?

- Yeah.

Remember when she came down
with that awful case of measles?

- Yeah, I kinda do.

Yes, I think she missed
school for a couple weeks

and almost went to hospital.

- You guys love me so much.

That was me.

I'm the one that came
down with the awful case

of the measles and was
outta school for two weeks.

- "Doubt thou that stars are fire.

"Doubt that the sun doth move in the sky.

"Doubt that truth be a liar

"but never doubt that we love you."

- Clifford.

- We love ya.

- Yeah, I love you guys.

- Let's eat.

Keep your wallet in your pocket.

It's my treat.

- How big a T-bone they have here?

- They don't.

- Uncle Tommy, why don't
you let me bring you

some clean clothes?

- Why, Miss Maddy, it's
sure good to see you.

What brings you out here?

- Don't you get lonely out here?

- Well, lately I've been
getting a whole lotta company

but it sure is good to see you, Maddy.

- One reason I came
out here was to ask you

about this bet you made with Clifford.

- A bet with Clifford?

I haven't made any bet.

- About dropping chickens out
of an airplane at 10,000 feet?

- Now, where did you hear that?

- Look, it's all over Instagram.

- What's Instagram?

- It's all over Facebook, too.

- What what are you talking about?

- I think you should probably call it off.

- I hadn't made any bet with Clifford.

And if I wanna throw a
chicken out of an airplane

or have one for supper,
that's my business.

- Uncle Tommy.

- Hi, Tommy.

How you doing?

- Hello, Theresa.
- Good to see you.

- Yep, good to see you, too, Theresa.

- Can I get you something?

- Sure, I'll take a
cold one there, please.

- Put that back in your pocket.

This is on me.

- Well, I thank you--

- No, you don't need to do that.
- Oh, oh well.

You gotta keep the doors open.

Yeah, yeah I was just passing by.

- I'm so glad you stopped.

- Yeah, things been a little tough lately.

- You're missing Liz, aren't you?

- Yeah, she's one to be missed.

What did you do?

- I joined the Catholic church.

You should talk to Father Rick.

- Father Rick?

But he's not a priest anymore.

And he comes in here?

- He comes in here every Thursday night.

Didn't you know?

- No, I didn't know that.

- His band draws quite a crowd.

- Hello, Tommy.

- Hey.
- How are you these days?

I'm doing good, Father.

- Hey, it's just Rick.

The whole town is talking about your bet.

- Oh, this is crazy.

I hadn't even made a bet and
I got half of Brewster County

mad at me already.

- People are people.

I play music to celebrate the joy in life

and some in the church are saying

it's unbecoming of a priest.

- That's in the eye of
the beholder, isn't it?

- Now.

None of us knows the Lord's plan.

Missing Liz?

- Yeah, yeah things are tough.

- Try prayer, Tommy.

- Prayer?

- Works for me.

- For me, too.

- But you're no longer
in the church, Father.

- I'm still doing the Lord's
work only not in church.

You should come hear our band.

Our new vocalist is terrific.

- Yeah, Theresa told me.

- Why don't you come tonight?

Dancing brings people together

and puts joy in our heart.

- I'm might, well, I just might do that.

- Try prayer, Tommy, and
come listen to our music.

Both can work miracles.

And don't let anybody get
you down about your bet.

I think it's a fun bet.

People are people.

Besides chickens can fly.

- Amen.

Thanks for the beer, Theresa.

- You're welcome, Tommy.

Come back anytime.

- Will do.
- Everything's gonna

be all right.

- All right, thank you.

- Hey Eddie, I
heard you were in West Texas.

- Hey, Suzita.

Good to see you.

I bought a house in Marfa last month.

Been gone from West Texas 50 years

but I just can't get
West Texas outta my soul.

- Are you still practicing law?

- I'm still representing the
maimed and the forgotten.

Slowing down a little,
trying to smell the roses.

How are you doing?

- You went off to LA,
Eddie, to seek your fortune.

I stayed right here and found mine.

- I'm glad things have been good for you.

LA's has been good for me.

But I miss West Texas.

Say, does Tommy stop by here very often?

- He used to, Eddie,

but he doesn't come by much
anymore since he lost Liz.

- Well a group in Marfa
asked me to represent them.

They heard about Tommy's bet.

- Why are they talking to you

about Clifford and Tommy's bet?

- I told them it was probably just a rumor

but that's why I wanted to talk to Tommy.

- He hadn't been here in a while, Eddie,

but Clifford still sees him.

You want me to tell Clifford to tell Tommy

to get in touch with you?

- Yeah, would you mind?

And please tell him an animal rights group

has talked to me about the bet.

- You gotta be joking.

- If it's just a rumor,
they don't have anything

to worry about but if those
guys are throwing chickens

out of the airplane,
somebody's gotta tell 'em

this is not high school.

And this is not the West
Texas we grew up in.

- It's the same West
Texas I grew up in, Eddie.

Maybe you're the one who's changed.

- It's the times that
have changed, Suzanne.

Time marches on.

- Hello, Jim, take a load off.

- You bet.

Don't mind if I do.

- What in the world brings you out here?

Been a while.

You out hunting banditos?

- No, Tommy.

You're looking good.

You're taking good care of yourself.

- Well, you, too.

Looks like they've been feeding you well.

- Well, I hate to miss a meal, you know.

Feller might blow away and, by George,

drink a little cerveza, too.

- Well, let me offer you one.

- You bet.

Old Matt Dillon had
one every now and then.

- There you go.

We'll open one.
- Thank you.

- Here's to ya.

- Thank you.

- Jim, what's on your mind?

This can't just be a social visit.

- Well Tommy, I heard about a
bet 'tween you and Clifford.

Is it true?

- Well, we might, we might not.

What's it to you?

- Well, Tommy, an animal rights group

has filed an injunction
against y'all's bet.

- Animal rights in West Texas?

Filed an injunction?

- Well, I figured you'd say that, Tommy,

and all you gotta do is
tell me there's not any bet

and it'll be over with.

- Well, you could tell
your animal rights friends

to take that piece of paper

and just tell 'em what
they could do with it.

- Well, I know, Tommy.

People are funny these days, you know.

Heck, they're treating
their pets a lot better

than they do their
neighbors and even youngins

are becoming vegetarians nowadays.

- If this don't beat all.

An injunction from a bunch
of animal rights activists.

What's West Texas coming to?

- Judge said deliver it

and I'm just the messenger.

I suggest that you show up.

- This beats all I ever heard.

- Well, Tommy, it's got

the court date on there
and I suggest you show up

and you'd be wise to bring
a lawyer with you, too.

- A lawyer?

If I wanna throw a cow out the airplane,

I mean, that's my God-given
constitutional right.

- Tommy, I agree with
you, I agree with you.

But, once again, I suggest you
show up, present your case.

- If that don't beat all.

- We love our chickens.

Come on, don't do it.

- Yeah, those people are crazy.

- Put down those signs
and take off those hats!

I said put down those signs
and take off those hats!

This is a court of law.

- Yeah.

- All rise for the Honorable
Billy Ray Stubblefield.

- Thank you very much.

You may be be seated.

Welcome to the courtroom this afternoon.

We have an item on the docket

which is an application
for a temporary injunction.

Previously a TRO was denied by the court

but we did set this day for the hearing.

And the case is styled
Blanche and Red Baron,

two living Gallus domesticus

by and through their guardians ad litem

and friends of the court.

They are the petitioners.

The respondents are Tommy Mangrem

and Clifford Hardwick.

Can we have announcements?

- Your Honor, Edward Pfiester
appearing pro hac vice

for the applicant People
for Our Feathered Friends

or PFOFF, pronounced Puff Off.

We are seeking a temporary
injunction to prevent

the cruel injury and very untimely death

of two of God's creatures,

the named Blanche and the named Red Baron.

Counsel and I have met
and conferred at length

but to no avail.

- Order in the court.

I understand that there's a lot of emotion

involved in this case, but
I've got to have decorum

and dignity and just to remind you

we have a little holding cell behind me.

It's about 10 feet square.

It's not air conditioned,
doesn't have any furniture,

and it's not pleasant, but
it is available for use.

Ms. Rogers.

- Thank you, your Honor,
Liz Rogers from Alpine.

I'm appearing on behalf of the respondents

Tommy Mangrem and Clifford Hardwick

also both lifelong
residents of Alpine, Texas.

- Are both parties ready to proceed?

Mr. Pfiester.

- Yes, Your Honor.

- Ms. Rogers?

- We are, Your Honor.

- If there are no preliminary matters,

I'll proceed to hear opening statement.

Mr. Pfiester, as the
petitioner you may proceed.

- Your Honor, a combination amounting

to a civil conspiracy is afoot here.

The purpose of the conspiracy is to profit

from wagering upon the fate
of these two poor chickens.

Upon the fate

of two chickens?

- Yes, Your Honor.

The respondents' plan is
to drop these two chickens

from an airplane flying
at least a thousand feet

above the ground.

It will surely cause the death

of these innocent creatures.

We will present irrefutable evidence

that this will cause the
untimely death of both chickens.

- Your Honor, for the respondents,

everybody in this community
knows my clients well

because they've lived
here their whole life.

They are upstanding
citizens of Brewster County

and the Big Bend region.

They are both stalwart supporters

of the Alpine Fighting Bucks.

They both maintain a modicum of sobriety.

And, in fact, Mr. Hardwick
has recently converted

to the ranks of the abstemious.

- Ms. Rogers, what is your
response to these allegations?

- My clients are not members
of some shadow conspiracy

to make a profit from the suffering

of these two noble birds.

And, in fact, I want to
emphasize the word birds.

- I would call them chickens.

- Through the testimony of Al Kauffman,

the Director of the Alpine
Future Farmers of America,

we intend to show that these noble birds

will not suffer injury or death

from the proposed
demonstration of flying skills

that are proposed by my clients.

Nor will they be
traumatized by an exercise

which is natural to their species.

- Your Honor, we will call El Paso native,

Miss Jody Richardson.

She's an aeronautical engineer
and a practicing lawyer

in Austin, Texas.

- I've read her curriculum
vitae, Your Honor,

and I have no objections to
Miss Richardson's testimony

as an expert.

- Miss Richardson,
have you had an opportunity

to examine both the chickens in question?

- I have.

- Could you outline for His
Honor the steps you've taken

by way of research,
testing if any, et cetera,

in reaching the conclusions
you've reached in this case?

- Yes.

Just like in most of the
cases that I work on,

I created a custom wind tunnel
to simulate the air pressure

as the object falls through space.

Then I applied the equation
that has been in place

since the 1700s to
determine the relationship

of the density of the
object, the air pressure,

and the velocity at which they are moving.

- Miss Richardson, based on everything

you've testified to do,
everything you've done

in this case so far,
assuming these two chickens

were taken up in an airplane
and dropped at an altitude

of over a thousand feet,

in your professional engineering opinion,

what would happen to them?

- Chickens are meant to
be walking on the ground.

You can tell that by
looking at their feet.

They do not have claws, they do not perch.

The Bernoulli's equation tells us

that the chickens weigh
too much and do not fly.

The longest flight known of a chicken

is 13 seconds.

And they will fall to the Earth
and make a four-foot splat.

- Oh!

- No, no!

- Your Honor, the respondents
would call Mr. Al Kauffman,

who, like me, is a graduate
of Texas A&M University,

as an expert in avian aerodynamics.

He knows his chickens.

- I object to these outbursts, Your Honor!

They're very, very
prejudicial to my client.

- Mr. Pfiester, this
is the Aggie war whoop

and in Texas it is honored
by time and tradition

and we will permit it.

- Mr. Kauffman, in your
esteemed estimation,

if the two said birds were
dropped from an airplane

at an altitude of a thousand feet,

would they simply spread their
wings and fly back to Earth?

- To be exact they would
glide back to Earth.

You see, Your Honor, these
are not cage-raised birds.

These are free-range chickens,

which makes a huge difference
in their ability to glide.

Have you noticed they both have wings?

- Are you suggesting, Mr.
Kauffman, that a free-range

chicken could be thrown from
an airplane at a thousand feet

and make it back to Earth safely?

- I am.

It is their instinctive
ability that defines

their aeronautical abilities.

Could a bird fly up a thousand feet?

No, not at all.

But gliding back down a thousand feet?

That's a bird of a different feather.

- And, Mr. Kauffman,
what would be the outcome

of such a glide?

- Both birds, both foul,

would return to Earth completely unharmed.

Just the way it is.

Yeah.

- Howdy.

- So anyway, I will direct my--

- Good to see you, Judge.

How are you doing?

- Fine, Clifford?

How are you doing?

Do you have a drink around here?

- Sure do.

- Something stronger than beer?

- Yeah, we do.

Judge, sure was glad that
you saw it our way today.

- Well, Clifford, I'm
sorry I can't talk to you

about the case.

But I reckon I could drink
some of your whiskey.

- Clifford, would you mind
getting us a couple of bourbons?

- Heavens no, Judge Ferguson.

I'd like to propose a toast.

- Here, here.

- To west Texas where justice rules

and chickens fly!

- Yeah!

- Y'all got the whole dang
town riled up about this bet.

- It did kinda get outta hand, didn't it?

- You know, Clifford, I fought in Vietnam

for everybody's right
to protest but right now

we got a bunch of left-wing
hipsters out protesting

a bet about throwing a couple of chickens

out of an airplane.

What in the heck has happened to America?

- Well, America hasn't changed any.

It's just now we slug it out with lawyers

instead of guns.

- Are y'all really gonna
go through with the bet?

- Yes, we won the lawsuit,

but we had one slight change.

We have moved it to the Newberry

which will give you a
little bit more room.

- And won't attract quite
so much attention, I hope.

Now, when is this harebrained
function gonna take place?

- At two o'clock tomorrow
afternoon I'll bring you

the chickens and Sam will show
up to help you drop 'em out.

Now, another little slight change.

Don't pull any feathers
out of Tommy's chicken.

I've become quite attached
to little Blanche.

- So this thing is really gonna happen?

- It is indeed.

You have your jet fired
up and ready to go.

- And I thought you were kidding me.

- Not a whit.

- Look, they're coming
in low from the south!

- Drop!

- Look, they dropped 'em!

- Look at those chickens!

- The rooster's falling!

- Flap your wings, Red Baron!

He's flying like a sack of cement.

- Wanna go double or nothing?

- It's too late for double or nothing.

Look at that Blanche!

She's gliding better than a buzzard.

You been training that chicken?

- Well...

- See, I told you chickens could fly.

Why'd you ever doubt me?

- 60 years worth of
experience, that's all.

I'm just glad those chickens made it

or you'd be mincemeat.

- Oh ye of little faith.

Tommy's buying!

- I guess this is mine.

- Yes.

- Won't you ever learn, Clifford?

- I've been thinking about a match race.

You still have that land
turtle you call Speedo?

- Hey, Rick.

- Hey.

- Wanna play a little song for me?

- You got it.

- Alrighty.

- Alright, that's a good one.

- Hey, young lady,
would you like to dance?

- Tommy, I would love to.

- Alighty.

♪ I am weak ♪

♪ But thou art strong ♪

♪ Jesus ♪

- Old Clifford, he's
something else, isn't he?

- He really is.

We we need him, both of us.

- Oh, yeah.

- I hope he never stops
making those silly bets.

- Well, I just hope he doesn't ever bet

on Melinda on whether
the sky's blue or not.

- He'd paint his
face bright blue for you.

- Wasn't that lines on his
high school play back...

- Yeah.

- Yeah?

- Paint, paint your face bright blue.

Catch a kangaroo.

- Tie my shoe.

- I'd do anything for you.

For one kiss.

- Oh my.

That'd be nice.

♪ Daily walking ♪

- Would you like to maybe go
out the ranch tomorrow evening?

We could go out and cook a little supper,

go watch the sundown.

- Tommy, I would love to.

- Alright, that'd be great.

♪ Let it be, dear Lord ♪

♪ Let it be ♪

♪ Even cowboys need a lantern bright ♪

♪ To guide them through
the cold dark of night ♪

♪ Don't let your lonesome heart ♪

♪ Be afraid to start ♪

♪ All over with a love ♪

♪ That feels just right ♪

♪ I'm in your soul and
she'll be by your side ♪

♪ Saddle up your horse ♪

♪ And take a ride ♪

♪ Saddle up your horse ♪

♪ And take a ride ♪

- Look out there.

No place is prettier
than the Davis Mountains.

- In its own way this
country is as beautiful

as any place on Earth
and so are you, Carolyn.

Thanks for coming to the ranch.

- I loved the day.

Thanks for inviting me.

- Do you ever get lonely?

- Sure, I do.

That's why we have family and friends.

- Life can throw us some
curve balls sometimes.

- Maybe that's why God
gives us second chances.

- Maybe so.

- Tommy is Blanche your chicken?

Is Blanche your little hottie?

- You're lucky, Luther.

Shh.

- Let's do that again.

- This is on me.

- Well, I'll take it
outta the tip jar then.

- It's not hard.

It's easy.

- When you want me to pick you up?

- First thing in the morning.

- You're gonna have to
remember that I've got

a holding cell back here.

It's about 10 feet square.

No air conditioning, no furniture.

♪ The miles don't even matter ♪

♪ We can drive all day
until the sun goes down ♪

♪ Let's ride this road together ♪

♪ 'Cause it sure is good to
have good old friends around ♪

♪ Let's spin our wheels ♪

♪ Kick up our heels ♪

♪ And bet that life
don't get much better ♪

♪ Than times like these ♪

♪ When the miles don't even matter ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ♪

♪ Passing by these tall Davis Mountains ♪

♪ This stretch of blacktop
takes us back in time ♪

♪ When a tank of gas was
just enough to gamble ♪

♪ Oh, to gamble ♪

♪ That we could stir up
trouble down the line ♪

♪ We've had some bumps along the way ♪

♪ But that's okay ♪

♪ 'Cause this trip is worth
every roll of the dice ♪

♪ Every roll of the dice ♪

♪ The miles don't even matter ♪

♪ We can drive all day
until the sun goes down ♪

♪ Let's ride this road together ♪

♪ 'Cause it sure is good ♪

♪ To have good old friends around ♪

♪ Let's spin our wheels ♪

♪ Kick up our heels ♪

♪ And bet that life
don't get much better ♪

♪ Than times like these ♪

♪ When the miles don't even matter ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ♪

♪ All our crazy schemes
and broken dreams ♪

♪ May have driven us to thinking ♪

♪ That moving on ♪

♪ Moving on ♪

♪ Is what living really means ♪

♪ The miles don't even matter ♪

♪ We can drive all day
until the sun goes down ♪

♪ Let's ride, ride ♪

♪ This road together ♪

♪ 'Cause it sure is good to
have good old friends around ♪

♪ Let's spin our wheels ♪

♪ Kick up our heels ♪

♪ And bet that life
don't get much better ♪

♪ Much better ♪

♪ Than times like these ♪

♪ When the miles don't even matter ♪

♪ Miles don't even matter ♪

♪ We can drive all day
until the sun goes down ♪

♪ Let's ride this road together ♪

♪ 'Cause it sure is good to
have good old friends around ♪

♪ Let's spin our wheels ♪

♪ Kick up our heels ♪

♪ And bet that life
don't get much better ♪

♪ Get much better ♪

♪ Than times like these ♪

♪ When the miles don't even matter ♪

♪ Don't even matter ♪

♪ Drive, drive ♪

♪ Until the sun goes down ♪

♪ Let's ride this road together ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ It sure is good to have
good old friends around ♪

♪ Good old friends around ♪

♪ Drive and drive and drive ♪

♪ Until the sun goes down ♪

♪ Let's drive ♪