Black Sheep (2006) - full transcript
"Black Sheep" is about urban Berlin Lifestyle. About a bunch of hopeless losers, who are trying, to get the big money with the strangest plans. There is a Ex-Handmodel for Rolex, who wants to seduce a yuppie girl and cheat his insurance company. There is a East-German woman and her drunken artist boyfriend playing Lotto. Some satanists, who are planing a ritual with there grandmother. Two young anarchists, who are testing a new kind of Ego-economy. And last, but not least, three horny Turkish boys, who are stealing cash, to meet a prostitute. A lighthearted, stylish comedy in a electric Berlin, full of surreal moments. About material illusions and true love.
I grew up in Braunschweig,
then my parents sent me to study
in Salem. Totally overrated.
The world of pure finance
isn't enough for me.
I have so many other interests.
Medicine, architecture, art.
The principle pathogens
of hepatitis A, B and C are
oysters and women!
Ernst Junger. Ever heard of him?
The biggest hero of World War One.
Critically wounded 8 times.
A decorated Samaritain.
Vogue is for me a great magazine.
Their sense of tradition.
The style they have.
Vogue Homme especially.
You have beautiful hands.
Thank you.
My full name is actually
Boris con Zitzewitz.
But my family dropped the con.
Yeah, this is my family crest.
People might think it is showy,
but tradition is important to me.
You looked absolutely beautiful.
At the Vogue party.
I've never seen anything like that.
I just simply
- I had to speak to you.
- I also noticed you.
I don't normally do that.
I'm no good at it.
- How long have you been with Vogue?
- For a year and a half.
They brought me in
as a product manager.
Before that I was Creative Director
for Young Fashion & Hype Style.
But Vogue is much
more interesting of course.
Alone the experience of being in
the Paris Office is... -Understood.
But I traded a few slackers
for more competent people.
My God there were some losers
in that place! No balls!
Merde, alors!
But I ironed it out!
Are you OK?
Somebody do something!
Get help!
He must have swallowed something.
Do something!
No, no! Put him on his back.
We have to get it out!
If he swallowed something
it'll just go deeper.
He's not breathing!
Please believe me.
The guest is feeling better now.
The food here is life-threatening!
Would you like an espresso?
A coffee?
We've never had
such an incident here.
Perhaps to apologize we can offer you
a night in our King's Suite?
I'll see you in court!
Come on, Nadja.
Let me help you
into to the luxury suite.
Everything
is at you disposal, naturally.
On the house, of course.
He said chamomile tea,
goddammit!
Not caramel.
This is chamomile,
the other is herbal.
- This whole situation is...
- Thank you. Go now.
Feeling better now?
Are you alright?
I think
I would still be up for it.
If you wouldn't mind
doing the work.
At least for the first act.
That's fine. Be right there, Sir!
Goodbye.
Cigarettes and condoms.
For the gentleman.
- Which condoms, the fruity ones?
- Whichever!
Wow! Barbarella!
You tiger!
Helga is still working for money.
- What an ass!
- Morning, Charlotte!
- Hi, boss.
- Everything alright?
- No, not at all.
Peter just got fired again
without warning.
- Fired? Where was he working?
- A natural foods shop.
Natural foods?
And no warning? How that?
I don't know either. And
I'm two months late with the rent.
Volker?
Could you give me
another advance please?
Charlotte
I can't. Budget deficit. Sorry.
Peter should sell some
of those great paintings of his.
Who buys paintings of dead babies?
Nobody would hang
such a thing on the wall.
Didn't he used to paint landscapes?
Yeah, but since he dreamed
that I had an abortion
all he paints is dead babies.
Young lady...
If I were you, I'd think about
aborting that boyfriend.
- Yeah?
- It's your tax attorney.
Ha, ha, very funny.
- Where are you?
- What?
Where are you?
- In the Trinkteufel. Can I come by?
- Shit, you're drunk again!
No, Andi & Oli are also here.
They're taking care of me.
- I'm not drunk.
- You should go look for a job.
Find a job and quit drinking.
I've had enough. Understand?
- I love you.
- Yeah, yeah, I love you. Fine.
How's the worker bee today?
- Working hard?
- What's it look like!
Man, Julian, what do you want?
Quality is what The Agency
for Wageless Work is all about.
Point 1. Senseless things
will no longer be produced!
Point 2. Working without getting paid
will inspire people to examine
what they really want from life.
Point 3. No stress. Ever again!
Because there will be
time for everything.
Point 4: all films that are produced
will be shown for free in cinemas.
Everyone will have the best cooking
pots as only the best will be made.
- And these pots...
- Stop talking such bullshit!
But I thought you were
into this hippie stuff.
Julian! Stop getting on my nerves.
You know this is my time
for meditation and gardening!
But these are revolutionaries!
The revolution doesn't meditate!
I'm sitting here working peacefully
and you come and read me
this trash from your magazine.
I still don't even
understand what it's about.
The Agency for Wageless Work!
These guys started
an agency to put losers together
to help each other
with their stupid art projects.
They don't make a penny for it!
So why don't you drag
your lazy ass there and sign up?
Now you're with me!
When I read it I thought:
we should sign up
and get these guys
to renovate our apartment.
I thought it was for 'art' projects.
It's your apartment. We've talked
for years about fixing your floors.
- You know how much work that is?
- How long have I known you?
17 years!
And this is what you've become:
a cynical, immoral,
materialistic sack of shit!
And you're a depressive homo! Since
Hans left you for that Russian Count
your life's nothing
but a ball of stress.
You can't relax.
You see only enemies and obstacles.
No happiness, no peace, no love!
Check out these guerrilla planting
tactics! My grass in a public tree!
It's gratis. Free.
Freedom has to be free.
If people wanna work for free,
I'm not going to stop them.
You're taking their ideas
out of context!
I'm taking nothing out of context.
I like all their points.
Point 3. No stress.
What's not to like?
I mean, I'm completely stress free.
One doesn't talk to trees.
One hugs them!
Trees.
Lake Muggel. Lake Muggel!
And it makes me laugh how you smoke
so much grass and still have stress.
Every morning my dick smiles
up at me. What else should I do?
It's stiff every morning, mate!
Girlies everywhere in miniskirts!
They're naked in there.
Raw flesh! Are you horny or what?
I still think
it's stupid to go in there.
Bunch of fucked-up German freaks!
Do I look like one of them?
Forget the fucked up German freaks.
It's really going on in there.
Animal positions, man!
Japanese freakazoid style.
She blows, bends over, he licks.
That's the 69!
What's Japanese about that I???
- Hello.
- Hello.
Hey boys. Loose your way somewhere?
We actually came for some fucking!
You want to fuck, eh?
That's nice.
What is the entrance charge?
For you champs it's gratis,
of course.
We're in, boys! Gratis!
Because your little baby asses
aren't getting past this spot!
Baby ass? We're 18.
Old enough to fuck
something like this here.
Do you guys have an
erotic outfit?
Whadaya think this is, my man!
No eyes in your head, or what?
Erotic outfit? That's baby shit!
It's cool like this! See: erotic!
Look at this. Totally cool.
You can't be more erotic.
Just pull that up there.
Very good. Perfect.
And now get out of here. Now.
Are you messing with us, or what?
Listen up.
With those plastic tubes on,
you look ready for a Bitch Festival!
My clothes are styling!
Brad Pitt has the same pants. OK?!
We don't want to argue, right?
It's a matter of taste.
It is dumb to argue about taste.
That's why it's called taste.
He stuck you right in the eye.
You victim!
Calm down, man.
You're not funny.
What's not funny? You're not.
I'll show you funny!
Shitty ring.
I dreamt like an angel.
It never happens
on the first date with me.
Normally I end up
with posers and pretenders.
I'm so unbelievably happy!
These are the real moments.
The deep and true moments.
They don't come often.
I think when we have to die,
we will relive exactly these moments!
Then we're really ready to croak.
I have to go.
Yo mate!
- What's wrong with you?
- Give me back my Porsche key chain!
- I don't have it.
- Yes you do!
No, I don't.
- There you are.
- Asshole!
- Hello, Edna!
- Hello.
Did you eat all the yogurt?
It must have been Lilly.
You always blame Lilly.
Then I find out it was you!
What can I do
if your daughter is underhanded?
You cowardly pig!
- My God, it wasn't such a drama!
- It was a drama and you're a drama!
Boris, is it so hard to
follow the house rules?
No. -That's great.
Because if not, you're out of here.
I'll be good, my little tiger lily!
- I'm not your tiger lily, OK?
- OK! But I have things to do!
Oh! The next CEO of IBM. Bravo!
Roger?
Roger?
- Today's the day.
- For what?
- The time has come!
- For what?
For it!
I wish you a very nice stay!
Here you are, folks!
Could you sit somewhere else?
This is the crew table.
- Maybe down there.
- We didn't see that.
- Good morning!
- Two, please!
- Thank you.
- Keep the change!
- Have a seat.
- Thank you.
Hello?
Hello there!
Daniels!
- How funny!
- It's been a long time.
This is Charlotte.
Charlotte Heinze.
And this is Stephan.
- Hello.
- I studied with Charlotte.
- Where are you living now?
- In Munich.
No wonder we haven't seen each other.
- It's been a long time.
- I have to get to the microphone.
I'll come see you
at your table later.
Hey, she works here!
Shit!
And here is the Palace der Republic.
Or shall we say what's left of it.
Build in the 70's by the GDR regime
as the House of the People
on the premises
of the former Prussian Castle,
the Palace will be torn down
to make room for a reconstruction
of the Prussian Castle.
The water really stinks here.
- It's Berlin!
- But she's nice.
- She's an ossi, right?
- It's obvious!
Let's go to Natasha's.
We'll fuck Natasha!
If we both beg her enough
we'll get it for free!
We'll get a volume discount! 3 for 1!
Only one of us can fuck.
And that's me, mate!
Shut the fuck up!
I've got money.
My eye hurts. I need love.
Look at these chicas.
So hot.
My grandmother in Turkey uses
the same stuff as bathroom carpet.
Really.
You guys are really
going to Muggel Lake, too?
- Yeah.
- Yep. Muggel Lake.
Where else!
And what will you do at Muggel Lake?
What are you doing there?
- We're going to a Goa party.
- Goa techno!
Yeah, it's about freedom.
Like at the Kit Kat Klub. Freedom.
No, nothing like the Kit Kat Klub.
I would say better.
- Yeah.
- Really? Better than the Kit Kat?
And what are you doing at the lake?
- Uh...
- What are we doing at the lake?
Going swimming. We're swimmers.
We're even
in the Neukolln Swimming Club.
My boy here Halil, our driver,
he's a master of the
Japanese crawl stroke.
Yeah. The authentic Japanese crawl!
What's that supposed to look like?
I'll show you what it looks like!
Look here. I'll show you.
You can only do it naked.
First, you get down there
in the water and then you're ready.
With a stiff y, right, because
the dick crawls with you.
Stop the car. Pull over here.
- Did you have to open your mouth?
- It's not my fault!
Hello?
Hey, come in, friends!
Welcome!
Excuse the smell,
but we have a stoppage problem.
Literally.
I was just taking care of it.
No problem, man.
We're here for the agency.
Of course. So, join me in the salon.
It won't stink so bad there.
By the way, the guy on the sofa
is Steve, my business partner.
The Vice President, so to speak.
Alright, Steve.
Nice to meet you. Peace!
This is Breslin, my partner.
Also Vice President.
And I'm Julian, President.
You must be here
because of the Zitty article.
That article was shit!
The article may have been shit,
but it made a splash!
Since it came out,
we've had 400 applicants!
That's amazing.
This place was a madhouse yesterday.
Thus the stoppage.
- So what do you do, actually?
- We're fighting the system.
- Good so!
- Well, I mean...
I'm just sick of it!
Breslin and I have this space
that's kind of fucked up
where we sleep and play records.
And we want to change things.
Make it bigger and better.
So we thought we'd turn it into
a kind of anti-America club office.
A place where people
come together and talk.
- Listening would also be good.
- Yeah, listening. Exactly.
A place where hippies,
punks and university professors
come together and exchange ideas.
Like about McDonalds.
Or that TV series...24.
You know it?
You know, where...
...where the black President and
the terrorists and the...
the daughter...
Man, Breslin, say something.
Um...yeah.
I think what Julian means
is that we want
to make a kind of protected area
where kindred spirits can meet
and discuss US hegemony
and America's influence on the world.
Not bad.
I think you're a wonderful woman.
And what you said to me
really opened my eyes.
I have to see you because
there is something I must tell you.
Vogue Deutschland.
Nadja Metzger, Product Management.
Leave a message after the
beep and I'll call you back.
Yeah, Nadja.
The message time ran out.
My God,
how little time one has in life!
We really must spend
more time together.
You and me.
And to be honest, I really have
a lot more time...more time
that I can spend with you...
Boris is a clutz!
Nadja Metzger, Product Management
Leave a message after the
beep and I'll call you back.
Nadja. Boris.
Well
To get to the point...
I'm not a banker.
I'm a model.
I'm a...hand model.
Nadja. I did a campaign for Rolex.
The guy on the fishing boat...
Fuck!
I'd like to start over with you.
Why are you lying again?
You used to be a Rolex hand model.
- They haven't booked you for ages.
- Asshole.
I had a shooting a half year ago
for Rolex. -A shooting?
A black and white add
in a Shanghai telephone book.
- And that was two years ago!
- So what?
That means I'm still the Rolex model.
That's all over now anyway! Come!
That was great!
You do that really well.
- You have a great microphone voice!
- Yeah.
I just do it on the side sometimes.
Actually as a favor to Volker.
Really?
And out of love for Berlin.
- And how did you wind up in Munich?
- I met Stephan.
At a ball at the Opera.
He's a super dancer.
- You can't tell, can you?
- No.
- You can't see it?
- Sure. Straightaway.
Yeah, then we got married.
And where do you live?
In Berlin. Prenzlauerberg.
East or West?
- East.
- Oh. -East.
But we just looked
at a villa in Grunewald.
Grunewald! No way!
We live in Grunwald!!!
Griinwald in Munich,
Grunewald in Berlin!
Who is 'we'?
- My husband and I.
- Ah, you're married?
Of course I'm married.
- What's he do?
- He's a dentist.
- Does he play golf?
- No, tennis.
We also play tennis!
So lets call each other for a tennis
game. -Super!
- Super!
- Definitely!
- Are you good?
- Me not. But he is.
- And you play for points?
- Of course!
We're all about points!
Let me look after
the guests for a minute.
OK. Oh, and do you have champagne?
- Of course we have champagne.
- We'll have a bottle.
- Ciao.
- Till soon.
Jesus, I will follow you.
Jesus, you live in me!
You give my life meaning!
Open your hearts!
- Peace
- Jesus is King!
He loves you!
Peace on earth!
Peace!
Jesus, you live in me.
You give my life meaning!
Give me that!
God is dead!
Satan!
Satan rules the world!
Satan is our master!
Cool!
And what about the Kurds?
Everyone talks about the
Palestinians. And the Kurds?
Everyone shits on the Kurds.
Iran shits on them.
Syria shits on them.
Turkey shits on them.
Turkey shits on them per-eminently.
It's just a matter of time
before Bush also shits on them.
That's why I say Iraq has to be cut
into three smaller countries.
Forget it.
The Saudis will never allow it.
The Saudis, the Saudis.
They have nothing to say...
Shame on you, Leo!
You sorry little hash junky.
You promised me!
What? It's after 11.
Not 11 in the morning. At night!
- You never said 11 PM.
- You understood me.
I thought 11 in the morning.
She hates it when l smoke hash.
What?
And then he regrets it
when the paranoia sets in.
How else am I supposed to
hold up your Persian ass?
Forget my ass
and concentrate on your work.
Klies called.
Nobody showed up and
he is pretty pissed off.
What's wrong? -Klies starts
his living room theater tonight
I promised I'd send some people by
with his stage and install it.
We have time.
- Do we?
- Of course we do.
We'll do our social duties later.
Where are you going?
Klies' stuff is in Mitte.
A friend of Brian's
gave me a toilet.
What?
Klies is worried stiff
about his theater stuff.
And you want to pick up a toilet.
You just want to fuck him.
No, you have it wrong.
I want to be fucked by him.
Your ass-filling is going to have
to wait another 15 minutes.
Man that is ugly!
Can you imagine
how many people have shat in it?
No, and I don't want to, either.
I bet a lot.
OK, I understand.
You fell in love with
some over-styled chick!
But take it slow.
See if it is really the right thing.
Usually it takes you only 2 weeks.
It's different this time.
- How?
- What Anja said to me.
Her name was Nadja before.
Nadja. Anja. Nadja!
It doesn't matter.
What she said had depth.
I'm sure it did!
As deep as a...
a puddle. A pussy puddle.
You are just primitive.
I want to start a new life.
With Nadja. And love cannot
be built on a shitty pile of lies!
OK.
Buy why begin this new honest life
with the biggest fraud
you have ever committed?
Because to start a new life I have
to sweep away the old one.
And for that I need money.
I will make a final sacrifice
for my past life: my left hand!
Oh!
- Will you do the honors?
- Of course.
But I can't drink such brine.
Excuse me! I'll pour it anyway, no?
Hey, Charlotte!
Charlotte! Tell him to stop!
Do you know him?
Prosit! Let's drink first!
Who is that guy?
He's a neighbor. Of my sister.
Peter, be a nice guy and go home!
Home!
I can't believe this.
- Charlotte!
- What's wrong with him?
Zoom in on him.
- Wave now!
- Hello!
I got him! I got him!
- Berlin!
- That's Berlin, eh?
He's a hard-luck case.
A funny one at that!
I don't find it so funny.
Shit, the battery is dead.
I can't believe it.
Here, wanna have it?
Cell phone. My gift.
Hi, mama!
Yeah, we're here on the Spree.
So you and, uh...
- You studied together, or what?
- Yeah.
Do I look uneducated, or what?
It's just you look much younger
than her. -Thank you.
Take my calling card. My cell number
is on the back. You can just...
We're at the Adlon tonight,
right? My mother...
The Adlon's fine.
And you can send me a message
with you cell number.
And I'll call you.
I'm often on business here.
Lets do it!
Excuse me. At 8?
At 8, 9, whatever!
At 8,then. 8 is fine.
Good, mama. Take care!
Go away.
We are here for Klies' stuff.
Easy, easy, tiger.
We'll just bring it out
and then go.
Every breakup needs a ritual.
So much for trust.
I just don't know what to do.
I am so stressed out.
He always threatened to move out,
but when things got bad
I had him knock me around
and then everything was fine again.
Maybe he will come back.
He probably just
overshot the mark a little.
But that shot was a direct hit.
- Delicious.
- Fantastic.
There is no point crying
over spilled milk.
Spilled milk. I am not a kitten.
I am a caramel.
We had a great time together.
Our love was like a nuclear bomb!
Listen, Caramel.
One question.
Does he have a new man already?
As far as I know he has several.
It hurts so much.
I've been gorging for days
but can't go to the toilet
I just can't let go!
Anyway, we have to take the stuff
for Klies' performance tonight.
And we are already running late.
So it is tonight.
That is what I am saying.
As I said, time is running out
As I said, honey...
It is so embarrassing that
you still live with your parents.
You father is a total joke
with his shitty boat and big mouth.
What a show-off.
But I cannot get own apartment
if I do not have a job.
And now the employment office
is cutting me off
for not helping with
that stupid asparagus harvest.
You know what I think?
If Satan was really
so on top of things
then he would
give us a little support.
And how are you so sure
that the insurance will pay?
Because I am still with
the Starlight agency.
Look, I've prepared everything.
A hand lopped off here
brings about EUR 300,000.
layout hack it off up here by
the elbow, there's another 60,000.
But I don't want that
because it will look like shit.
And the hacked-off hand
will not look like shit?
I'm not so sure.
There are advantages.
I mean, if the whole lower arm
is gone, you're a cripple.
But a missing hand
is a sign of character.
A chic one at that!
I was thinking of something noble,
but I'm not sure.
Maybe you're right. Maybe I should
just lop off three fingers.
The thumb is the most important.
It brings at least 60,000.
Boris. Boris, please.
Add two fingers and
you get 120,000.
I could keep my ring finger
for the wedding with Nadja.
Boris.
It's Nadja.
You don't have the balls to pick up?
I called Starlight for your
number after your psychotic message.
They told me they sent you
a pick slip 6 months ago!
Don't dare to call me at my job
again, you fake little shit!
You're all the same.
I cannot do that.
L.m
I just thought of something! Maybe
I could use the flat side of the ace
and try for coverage... -Stop! Stop!
...Of the essentials here.
- I'm a pacifist, man!
If the ace is too brutal, then use
the hedge clipper, you loser!
Charlotte.
Hello, painter of art!
- Here!
- Slow, slow, slow.
- I have to tell you...
- Sit down now.
And keep your mouth shut.
Or else we are through.
Understand?
I don't need the money.
Go now, please.
What is the problem?
Blow us already!
This is no small amount. These days
whores are happy to make so much.
- I'll jack you off for 25.
- Right-0! -Fine! -Me!
Go now. The new workfare project has
made my husband really aggressive.
But Natasha, you are a modern woman!
Understand? A modern woman.
Don't take orders from that idiot.
That psychopath Horst!
You don't have to take orders.
You're an emancipated woman.
That idiot with his Grey dog,
he's crazy!
What are you doing with that psycho!
Come on, leave it!
Hi Horst. What's up?
- Hello, Charlotte?
- He's at it again!
Can you hear me? Hel-lo?
Snap snap here! Champagne!
Like for those fine prigs over there!
Have this beer. -Who are those
conservative foreskins?
I ordered champagne, not beer!
- Drink it and shut your mouth.
I have something to tell you.
Something beautiful, heavenly!
Heavenly!
So...
Cheers, then!
What is with that guy? Unbelievable!
Hello.
Peter Raminsky.
Hey, it'; okay.
And who are you?
Have I seen you before?
This is my girlfriend. Charlotte.
We are, you know... My little sweet!
So Peter, my friend...
We'll just go
sit down calmly over there.
You're making me look like a chump!
You're not ashamed of me, are you?
He's not ashamed of his wife!
Shut your mouth.
These assholes might pay our rent.
Understand? But not if you keep
babbling like a drunk!
- So shut up!
- Can I tell you something?
We don't need money! It's all good!
We can be open about it.
Charlotte is my girlfriend.
Just ask Volker! We are going to
drink here until we fall over!
Just act like he's not there!
Champagne-a-go go, baby! Chop chop!
- What are you looking at, foreskin!
- Calm down, asshole!
People paid for this trip!
You are making commotion, by Christ!
You have nothing to say, mate!
This is not Stuttgart!
Not Stuttgart. Munich!
You have nothing to say here!
Understand? This is Berlin.
Enemy territory!
You are dead here, mate.
These are all my friends.
Now lets have some champagne.
Pigs on the dole
don't drink champagne.
- You ossi!
- Shut your mouth, fuckwit!
- Shut the fuck up!
- Just don't look at him.
I'm Peter Raminsky.
Get away from me you shit!
I've been puked on!
Fucking shit!
You'll get one on the mouth now,
asshole!
Puking on us like this!
- I have him. I have him!
- This way, slowly.
- Get in there.
- Hey! Ouch.
Come on, Nazis.
Shit.
Open up!
I want out.
Please excuse this minor incident.
Stay in your seats
and everything will be fine.
We will go merrily on
just like before.
So please don't get upset.
We'll finish the trip just fine!
I'm really sorry, Daniels.
Please excuse me.
Stop fondling me!
Charlotte, get back to work!
- Do it!
- Why should I? Give me one reason?
- Who is this girl, anyway?
- Just do it!
You jack off with your left hand.
What will you do without it?
Stop right now. Calm down.
Calm down!
Breathe.
Take a deep breath and think this
through. -Calm down already.
Me, calm down? I'm completely calm!
On the house, naturally.
I don't want champagne.
I want to be on land.
We're puked on and smell like pigs.
We have go get off this boat.
Go back to your corner, Charlotte.
By the way...
That date you wanted
won't work out.
My boyfriend locked in the toilet
wouldn't like that.
Are you crazy?
I never said date.
I gave you my card
so we could meet to play tennis.
You're a pathological liar!
Oh yeah? And why did you give me
the card when she was on the phone?
On the phone?
She was on the phone next to me!
She saw me give you the card.
- You are really a...
- A scheming cunt is what you are!
...In West Berliner territory
and the President's Palace
was in East Berliner territory.
In the death strip
along the Berlin Wall.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
I would like to say...
Stop this!
Fuck off! One last announcement!
One last announcement!
I'd like to direct your attention
to that slut over there!
We had the same professor,
and she blew him
for a better grade.
Do you want to know her nickname?
Analita! They called her Analita.
Because she always
took it from behind!
Analita.
What are you looking at, cunt?
Take a bow!
And now she's playing the
bourgeoise Wessi bride.
This fake little
worn-out fuck bunny!
Just look at her!
Did you ever notice how your daughter
doesn't resemble you at all?
What does this have to do
with my daughter?
You're a lamb.
The mother: cafe brown.
The daughter: black as dirt.
The father: white as my ass.
I should be provoked by this?
Everyone says it! It's pathetic.
- Stop it.
- You're such a poor lamb, my God!
It's genetically possible.
Genetics and Goethe's color theory...
- What does Goethe have to do with it?
- A lot.
- Nothing!
- Then I'll have to be more clear.
- Be more clear then!
- I will.
Think more clearly
about what you want.
Remember Kenia Karl?
I am not doing it.
Kenia Karl,
residence Lychener Street 79.
- The Rasta Man.
- I don't know him.
What happened when you were selling
tomatoes at the farmer's market?
Or were out of town?
And what is supposed
to have happened?
Edna the volcano,
Edna the blow job machine!
Edna the volcano! And Kenia Karl!
From morning to night like rabbits!
- Do it!
- Stop it!
Do it or I'll bring out
the whole truth!
Your wife had orgies with nearly
every Rasta Man in the city!
And Kenia Karl was the ringleader.
And I was there, too.
- When I was drunk...
- You didn't fuck her.
Of course I did!
Of course I fucked her.
And those blow job lips!
You idiot!
I said only three fingers!
Now do the whole thing!
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Call a doctor!
Call a doctor!
Here comes Freddy!
- I gave it to them.
- Leave me alone or lick my ass!
We still have a hen to pluck!
You should give it to him.
Go on, kick him in the balls.
Show you're a man.
Show you have muscles.
Go on, yeah.
Twist his balls.
Show him!
Twist his nipples.
Bite him!
Shit.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
the Munich Idiot has won again!
Berlin has lost.
I would now like to bid you farewell.
Bye!
Guys, you have to take me with you.
I have to see him.
- No way, muchacho. The bus is full.
- No it's not.
Julian, it is forbidden to
let people ride in the back.
Why?
- Why?
- Why.
Ask the police.
They make the fucking rules.
Oh, fuck the police.
Come on, hop in the back.
Why did you hit my other eye?
You saw one was black. Why not hit
that one again? Now I've got two.
Now the stupid fucker wants to tell
me which of his eyes I should hit.
3 FUCKS X 3 = 9 FUCKS.
That makes 900 Euros.
What? 900 Euros?
She liked it, mate. Tell him.
If she liked it, then it is
not prostitution. It is free love.
As simple as that.
First of all, Natasha is my wife.
And if my wife fucks for money,
then she is working. That's OK.
But if my wife fucks for free
then she is a dirty scheming slut.
And that is not OK.
That is not at all OK.
But because you three
are just smelly little assholes,
it cannot be considered real fucking.
I will give you a special price.
3 for 1.
300 Euros by the weekend.
You are each just 113 of a fuck
Shut up, mate!
- What?
- Accept it!
I will explain.
- What?
- Sorry, I cannot accept.
I fucked her so long that she came
I will not be called 113 of a fuck
- You are a full fuck.
- I am a full fuck.
I am happy to hear that.
- 900 Euros.
- Victim!
Why did you have to open your mouth?
Why didn't you simply accept
beeing 1/3 of a fuck.
300 Euros, man.
It is not my fault you have
small dicks. -Who?
What are you saying?
I will put my monster in your ass.
Hanzi, you are almost out of water.
Hanzi!
Hey, grandma. Feeling fresh today?
This will be a bit cold.
Well?
And what was going on with you?
Nothing, eh?
Well, it was the same for me.
Nothing has really changed.
You didn't miss anything.
Hopefully your dreams are nice.
I recently had such a strange dream.
I was all alone
in the Carribean on a ship.
Me, all alone.
This time I was the Captain.
The weather was nice.
And when I looked to the beach
it was full of girls waving to me.
And below me was the sea.
Really deep.
Then suddenly
suddenly there was
a huge wave.
And I...
I thought...
Anyway...
And then l woke up.
Don't be so messy.
That satanic troll is on the phone.
You have to help me tomorrow.
I had to fire Charlotte. You will
have to read the shitty tourist text.
OK?
Yeah.
Fuck your parents!
Stand up to them for once, man!
Yeah. You are right, Fred.
But it's not so easy.
I'll give it a try.
You'll give it a try.
Now listen, scrotum-face.
You complain all the time
about unemployment
and how you need cash
to get your own place.
I discovered a ritual that will
bring us power and wealth.
666.
The number of the devil. Capich?
So get your fat ass over here.
Pronto!
- You believe in this?
- Believe in it? I know it.
Lavey is right.
Lavey is always right. After all,
he is the master of all Satanists.
What exactly do we have to do?
I prepared everything already.
We just need the main ingredient.
A woman to do it with us.
Do what?
To play the sacrifice, so to speak.
But we won't be
eating her heart, will we?
Of course not.
It is actually pretty harmless.
And where will we find a woman?
GREEDY BITCHES FROM EAST.
Yeah, send us this Natasha.
What? Huttelstrasse 7.
Kleinberger's the name on the buzzer.
Thank you.
It's all right.
No, Natasha. Of course not.
You just lie naked on the altar.
And my buddy here
paints a black cross on your back.
And we sing the Verse of the Bucks.
No. That sounds totally disgusting.
I don't do stuff like that.
No, I am Russian Orthodox.
Come on, do us this favor.
I mean, we need your help.
See it as an act of charity.
I am an emancipated woman.
I really don't think we should force
a beautiful woman into something.
You shut up.
- I want to fuck, mate.
- What?
You should think about where to get
the 900 Euros for that nutcase.
He was really in jail, no kidding.
The bastard is dangerous.
Fucking Horst, mate. Horst.
Hey, fellas, remember when we gave
those two bitches a lift?
They went to that Goa party.
They'll all be out of it by now.
They will all be drunk
and totally spaced out.
- So? What do we want with all that?
- What?
You said it yourself.
Their pockets are full of cash.
- They are spoiled brats.
- Cash? How do you know that?
They are all students. Mommy and
daddy stick cash up their asses.
Jackpot! Like the old days.
- Off to the Goa party.
- Let's go to the Goa party.
What do I have to do to get them?
Oh, not a lot.
You just have to come up with us
and paint something nice with us.
But I have to go home soon.
No you don't.
Come with us and we will have fun.
But I don't want to. And I'm not
supposed to go with strangers.
We are not real strangers.
We live around here.
My daddy said you
have a screw loose.
And should be in a hospital.
Oh really? So who is your daddy?
What do we do now?
If only one of us had a girlfriend.
Your granny. Of course.
Why didn't I think of her
in the first place?
The book says nothing
about the woman's condition.
Are you out of your mind?
My grandma is in a coma.
So much the better.
So won't realize a thing.
No, forget about that. Never.
Never, never, never.
Hi, this is Breslin Bostrap.
From the Agency, you know.
Leo told us to give you a hand.
- What hand?
- Oh, that's nice.
Well, we have the set
for your home theater in our truck.
We would like to come up.
You sound like an idiot.
- Hey, handsome.
- Hi.
Hi. Did you find the flat all right?
Sure. I used to live around here.
Interesting.
- I hope you still have enough power.
- Sure.
When you are done I will give you
some nice bee balm ice tea.
Really? Well, that sounds super!
Super? Where the hell is your brain?
Sharing your scrotum with your balls?
- Let's finish this.
- Why doesn't that fag come help?
- Julian!
- Don't you get it?
- Bee balm ice tea! Is that gay code?
- Julian!
No, man, my back is killing me.
I am not a Polish moving company.
There is no
living room theater up there.
The boxes are full of personal shit.
He is using us
for his fucking deliveries.
What have we got here?
Is your fucking miniscule
stinking karma
coming back to bite your ass?
The boomerang hits the thrower.
- Horse and carriage in the rut.
- Hey, mate!
Come on, mate. Don't bullshit me.
Well, Julian,
my words are the salt in your wounds.
- Hash?
- Very funny.
But it's funny.
That's my toilet you fucking idiot.
Man, if it wasn't covered with shit
I'd kick your ass.
Do you have some paper?
What is this shit,
my little sugar pie?
You stink!
- What a nice flat, Klies.
- Yeah, yeah.
Well, come on.
Come on.
Now where is your gay
theater going to take place?
Oh, shit, yeah...
No theater tonight. I had to cancel.
My nerves are totally shot.
First I have to look
after my burned little sugar lump.
Hello, my baby.
Goa Party.
Try to blend in.
This is a Victim Party.
- You think so?
- Yeah. Goa.
Look, he's dancing with that chica.
Hell's flames have been fanned
and the innermost thoughts emerge.
Open the gates to darkness.
Oh, great precursor.
Appear in this circle.
Enter through the gates
of the shining trapezohedron.
For the blood has been offered
Show your presence in humans
and do not remain any...
Are you stupid? I've told you
a thousand times, it's not voodoo.
This is Satanism!
It will never work like this.
Man, you...
Show your presence...
Look here,
this is at least 300 Euros.
I told you.
They're all high, out of it.
Their pupils are like this.
- What the hell, fatty.
- We are rich.
Here's 35 for you.
To our workday!
- What is this, mate?
- What is this stuff? Alcohol?
Hey, brother?
What kind of alcohol is this?
Alcohol?
That's not alcohol,
my dear, dear friend.
Have a good trip.
- Bon voyage.
- Bon voyage, yeah.
Have a good trip.
Barkeeper,
what do you call this shit?
What do you mean, shit?
That's ketamine, man.
It's rhino-anesthetic, mate!
We didn't come
for a rhino operation, mate.
- Ketamine?
- It's too late now.
I think I am getting dizzy.
What are you doing there?
What are you doing?
Pussies!
Where are pussies?
There aren't any pussies, man!
Where are pussies?
Ali, do you see pussies?
There are no pussies.
What are you doing? Are you crazy?
Pussies can't fly. You victim!
Halil.
Halil, his face, look.
See that?
- Airplane.
- Halil, have a look.
Man, your face.
You see that?
Something is wrong with your face.
What is that there?
Halil?
You too will be of no help to her.
You,
who only ever betrayed human beings.
- Satan rules the world.
- King of the dregs.
I break the law.
Some grasp it with their forehead,
their feet, their claws...
Some bite suddenly without a warning.
Punishment is certain and severe.
This is the law. Are we not human?
We are humans.
Not to scratch the bark or tree,
that is the law. Are we not humans?
Not to growl or roar,
that is the law. Are we not humans?
Not to growl and to roar.
Are we not humans?
You are not allowed to eat trees.
You have to hug them.
Wow. A Christmas tree!
But it is not Christmas.
Silent night, holy night...
We are all just dumb sheep.
- Did you steal my purse?
- Purse?
1
- Purse.
- Are you nuts? He stole my purse!
- Shit.
- Her purse, Halil.
- Are you crazy?
- Bastard!
Did you steal more?
Give me my purse!
Are you the one?
We are here for each another.
But, Barbie...
- Let's go.
- I have to find my friends.
I feel them on my skin, because...
- You are the only bear.
- Bear!
Barbie...
There are bears in the forest.
I have to find my friends!
The sacrifice must
be penetrated anally
and as a sign of blasphemy,
the sperm should be
ejaculated onto the sacrifice's back.
- Could you say that again in German?
- Yes.
You have to fuck your granny in the
ass and splash the stuff on her back.
Are you whacked?
I can't fuck my granny in the ass.
Stop making a fuss.
Follow the instructions.
Lavey is a sick bastard if he
wants me to ass-fuck my granny.
Do it, if you want to get anywhere.
Are you crazy? Do it yourself.
You have to do it.
- And why me?
- The effect is stronger then.
How is the effect
going to be stronger
if I stick my prick into
my granny's ass?
Because you are her grandson.
And that is far more blasphemous
than if stranger did it. Got it?
Now, come on.
Stop making such a fuss.
You can do it.
- I can't.
- Yes, you can.
Let me tell you. You can do
anything. You are a strong guy.
Come on, we have to do this now.
Come, now.
Here.
Implore the dark forces
to give you the necessary strength.
You have to be strong now.
How can I get it up with my granny?
If it was my mother at least
maybe it would work.
I will look away.
Think about power and wealth!
Great. See, it is working.
Granny!
- Granny!
- Good day you, Frau Eberhard.
How is it going?
So, granny. Sausage?
Thanks. Thank you, my boy.
Why did you have me there naked
if you were trying to heal me?
Well, it was... You know,
it said so in Fred's medicine book.
Then you are almost part
of the family, if you saw me naked.
Yes, granny, you are right somehow.
- Is it summer already?
- Yeah.
It is summer.
Where are you?
Are you crazy?
- Stop it, Charlotte.
- All because of you.
Stop it!
Why should I? You deserve it.
You deserve something else!
I wanted to tell you,
I won the lottery.
500,000! Understand?
That's why I came
to that stupid boat.
Because I wanted to tell you!
I am really fed up with you,
Charlotte.
You don't know what
a lottery ticket looks like.
Here, look.
You don't have to believe me.
You see that?
This is what 5 winning numbers
look like.
5 winning numbers.
Bye, Charlotte.
I don't believe a word you're saying.
You don't have to believe me.
It's all right here.
Wait!
Money is not so important.
Right?
I don't know. You think so?
It's what one is inside that matters.
Sure, if you say so.
You're really a nasty, unprincipled
piece of work, I must say.
Really?
And you are a failure.
What do you mean?
Now we are 1 to 1.
When will we get to the hospital?
Soon.
Boris,
what you said about Edna is not true,
right? You just wanted to provoke me.
Of course not.
You are clever. You know how to twist
people around your finger.
You know
I am really happy right now.
Roger
I think
this is one of those few
true moments in life
that fly through your head
just before you croak.
Yes.
Boris, yes.
- This one is quite good.
- Yeah.
And somehow so pure
so clear.
Where are we?
Where are we?
Oh, my eye!
What is this place here?
Just look!
Hey, boys, how cool is this?
We spend all day running after
pussy and now look at this beauty.
After pussy, after money!!!
Just look at this! Nature.
It is always here.
Is this not cool?
It is always here like it is now.
See? This is what we need now,
something like this.
Hey, but it's morning again, mate.
Isn't that cool?
Oh my God.
Another stiff y, mate.
I want to fuck Natasha now.
Oh, mine is even stiffer.
But no money, mate.
So then off into the water, fellas.
Stephan, are you mad now?
Because of what she said on the boat?
You don't believe it, do you?
Why not? I have to fuck
your ass every night, too.
You are my husband.
- What's wrong? Is this Stuttgart?
Do you have tennis courts?
Yes, in the gym over there.
- Fine, I'll be over there then.
Do you want me to come?
then my parents sent me to study
in Salem. Totally overrated.
The world of pure finance
isn't enough for me.
I have so many other interests.
Medicine, architecture, art.
The principle pathogens
of hepatitis A, B and C are
oysters and women!
Ernst Junger. Ever heard of him?
The biggest hero of World War One.
Critically wounded 8 times.
A decorated Samaritain.
Vogue is for me a great magazine.
Their sense of tradition.
The style they have.
Vogue Homme especially.
You have beautiful hands.
Thank you.
My full name is actually
Boris con Zitzewitz.
But my family dropped the con.
Yeah, this is my family crest.
People might think it is showy,
but tradition is important to me.
You looked absolutely beautiful.
At the Vogue party.
I've never seen anything like that.
I just simply
- I had to speak to you.
- I also noticed you.
I don't normally do that.
I'm no good at it.
- How long have you been with Vogue?
- For a year and a half.
They brought me in
as a product manager.
Before that I was Creative Director
for Young Fashion & Hype Style.
But Vogue is much
more interesting of course.
Alone the experience of being in
the Paris Office is... -Understood.
But I traded a few slackers
for more competent people.
My God there were some losers
in that place! No balls!
Merde, alors!
But I ironed it out!
Are you OK?
Somebody do something!
Get help!
He must have swallowed something.
Do something!
No, no! Put him on his back.
We have to get it out!
If he swallowed something
it'll just go deeper.
He's not breathing!
Please believe me.
The guest is feeling better now.
The food here is life-threatening!
Would you like an espresso?
A coffee?
We've never had
such an incident here.
Perhaps to apologize we can offer you
a night in our King's Suite?
I'll see you in court!
Come on, Nadja.
Let me help you
into to the luxury suite.
Everything
is at you disposal, naturally.
On the house, of course.
He said chamomile tea,
goddammit!
Not caramel.
This is chamomile,
the other is herbal.
- This whole situation is...
- Thank you. Go now.
Feeling better now?
Are you alright?
I think
I would still be up for it.
If you wouldn't mind
doing the work.
At least for the first act.
That's fine. Be right there, Sir!
Goodbye.
Cigarettes and condoms.
For the gentleman.
- Which condoms, the fruity ones?
- Whichever!
Wow! Barbarella!
You tiger!
Helga is still working for money.
- What an ass!
- Morning, Charlotte!
- Hi, boss.
- Everything alright?
- No, not at all.
Peter just got fired again
without warning.
- Fired? Where was he working?
- A natural foods shop.
Natural foods?
And no warning? How that?
I don't know either. And
I'm two months late with the rent.
Volker?
Could you give me
another advance please?
Charlotte
I can't. Budget deficit. Sorry.
Peter should sell some
of those great paintings of his.
Who buys paintings of dead babies?
Nobody would hang
such a thing on the wall.
Didn't he used to paint landscapes?
Yeah, but since he dreamed
that I had an abortion
all he paints is dead babies.
Young lady...
If I were you, I'd think about
aborting that boyfriend.
- Yeah?
- It's your tax attorney.
Ha, ha, very funny.
- Where are you?
- What?
Where are you?
- In the Trinkteufel. Can I come by?
- Shit, you're drunk again!
No, Andi & Oli are also here.
They're taking care of me.
- I'm not drunk.
- You should go look for a job.
Find a job and quit drinking.
I've had enough. Understand?
- I love you.
- Yeah, yeah, I love you. Fine.
How's the worker bee today?
- Working hard?
- What's it look like!
Man, Julian, what do you want?
Quality is what The Agency
for Wageless Work is all about.
Point 1. Senseless things
will no longer be produced!
Point 2. Working without getting paid
will inspire people to examine
what they really want from life.
Point 3. No stress. Ever again!
Because there will be
time for everything.
Point 4: all films that are produced
will be shown for free in cinemas.
Everyone will have the best cooking
pots as only the best will be made.
- And these pots...
- Stop talking such bullshit!
But I thought you were
into this hippie stuff.
Julian! Stop getting on my nerves.
You know this is my time
for meditation and gardening!
But these are revolutionaries!
The revolution doesn't meditate!
I'm sitting here working peacefully
and you come and read me
this trash from your magazine.
I still don't even
understand what it's about.
The Agency for Wageless Work!
These guys started
an agency to put losers together
to help each other
with their stupid art projects.
They don't make a penny for it!
So why don't you drag
your lazy ass there and sign up?
Now you're with me!
When I read it I thought:
we should sign up
and get these guys
to renovate our apartment.
I thought it was for 'art' projects.
It's your apartment. We've talked
for years about fixing your floors.
- You know how much work that is?
- How long have I known you?
17 years!
And this is what you've become:
a cynical, immoral,
materialistic sack of shit!
And you're a depressive homo! Since
Hans left you for that Russian Count
your life's nothing
but a ball of stress.
You can't relax.
You see only enemies and obstacles.
No happiness, no peace, no love!
Check out these guerrilla planting
tactics! My grass in a public tree!
It's gratis. Free.
Freedom has to be free.
If people wanna work for free,
I'm not going to stop them.
You're taking their ideas
out of context!
I'm taking nothing out of context.
I like all their points.
Point 3. No stress.
What's not to like?
I mean, I'm completely stress free.
One doesn't talk to trees.
One hugs them!
Trees.
Lake Muggel. Lake Muggel!
And it makes me laugh how you smoke
so much grass and still have stress.
Every morning my dick smiles
up at me. What else should I do?
It's stiff every morning, mate!
Girlies everywhere in miniskirts!
They're naked in there.
Raw flesh! Are you horny or what?
I still think
it's stupid to go in there.
Bunch of fucked-up German freaks!
Do I look like one of them?
Forget the fucked up German freaks.
It's really going on in there.
Animal positions, man!
Japanese freakazoid style.
She blows, bends over, he licks.
That's the 69!
What's Japanese about that I???
- Hello.
- Hello.
Hey boys. Loose your way somewhere?
We actually came for some fucking!
You want to fuck, eh?
That's nice.
What is the entrance charge?
For you champs it's gratis,
of course.
We're in, boys! Gratis!
Because your little baby asses
aren't getting past this spot!
Baby ass? We're 18.
Old enough to fuck
something like this here.
Do you guys have an
erotic outfit?
Whadaya think this is, my man!
No eyes in your head, or what?
Erotic outfit? That's baby shit!
It's cool like this! See: erotic!
Look at this. Totally cool.
You can't be more erotic.
Just pull that up there.
Very good. Perfect.
And now get out of here. Now.
Are you messing with us, or what?
Listen up.
With those plastic tubes on,
you look ready for a Bitch Festival!
My clothes are styling!
Brad Pitt has the same pants. OK?!
We don't want to argue, right?
It's a matter of taste.
It is dumb to argue about taste.
That's why it's called taste.
He stuck you right in the eye.
You victim!
Calm down, man.
You're not funny.
What's not funny? You're not.
I'll show you funny!
Shitty ring.
I dreamt like an angel.
It never happens
on the first date with me.
Normally I end up
with posers and pretenders.
I'm so unbelievably happy!
These are the real moments.
The deep and true moments.
They don't come often.
I think when we have to die,
we will relive exactly these moments!
Then we're really ready to croak.
I have to go.
Yo mate!
- What's wrong with you?
- Give me back my Porsche key chain!
- I don't have it.
- Yes you do!
No, I don't.
- There you are.
- Asshole!
- Hello, Edna!
- Hello.
Did you eat all the yogurt?
It must have been Lilly.
You always blame Lilly.
Then I find out it was you!
What can I do
if your daughter is underhanded?
You cowardly pig!
- My God, it wasn't such a drama!
- It was a drama and you're a drama!
Boris, is it so hard to
follow the house rules?
No. -That's great.
Because if not, you're out of here.
I'll be good, my little tiger lily!
- I'm not your tiger lily, OK?
- OK! But I have things to do!
Oh! The next CEO of IBM. Bravo!
Roger?
Roger?
- Today's the day.
- For what?
- The time has come!
- For what?
For it!
I wish you a very nice stay!
Here you are, folks!
Could you sit somewhere else?
This is the crew table.
- Maybe down there.
- We didn't see that.
- Good morning!
- Two, please!
- Thank you.
- Keep the change!
- Have a seat.
- Thank you.
Hello?
Hello there!
Daniels!
- How funny!
- It's been a long time.
This is Charlotte.
Charlotte Heinze.
And this is Stephan.
- Hello.
- I studied with Charlotte.
- Where are you living now?
- In Munich.
No wonder we haven't seen each other.
- It's been a long time.
- I have to get to the microphone.
I'll come see you
at your table later.
Hey, she works here!
Shit!
And here is the Palace der Republic.
Or shall we say what's left of it.
Build in the 70's by the GDR regime
as the House of the People
on the premises
of the former Prussian Castle,
the Palace will be torn down
to make room for a reconstruction
of the Prussian Castle.
The water really stinks here.
- It's Berlin!
- But she's nice.
- She's an ossi, right?
- It's obvious!
Let's go to Natasha's.
We'll fuck Natasha!
If we both beg her enough
we'll get it for free!
We'll get a volume discount! 3 for 1!
Only one of us can fuck.
And that's me, mate!
Shut the fuck up!
I've got money.
My eye hurts. I need love.
Look at these chicas.
So hot.
My grandmother in Turkey uses
the same stuff as bathroom carpet.
Really.
You guys are really
going to Muggel Lake, too?
- Yeah.
- Yep. Muggel Lake.
Where else!
And what will you do at Muggel Lake?
What are you doing there?
- We're going to a Goa party.
- Goa techno!
Yeah, it's about freedom.
Like at the Kit Kat Klub. Freedom.
No, nothing like the Kit Kat Klub.
I would say better.
- Yeah.
- Really? Better than the Kit Kat?
And what are you doing at the lake?
- Uh...
- What are we doing at the lake?
Going swimming. We're swimmers.
We're even
in the Neukolln Swimming Club.
My boy here Halil, our driver,
he's a master of the
Japanese crawl stroke.
Yeah. The authentic Japanese crawl!
What's that supposed to look like?
I'll show you what it looks like!
Look here. I'll show you.
You can only do it naked.
First, you get down there
in the water and then you're ready.
With a stiff y, right, because
the dick crawls with you.
Stop the car. Pull over here.
- Did you have to open your mouth?
- It's not my fault!
Hello?
Hey, come in, friends!
Welcome!
Excuse the smell,
but we have a stoppage problem.
Literally.
I was just taking care of it.
No problem, man.
We're here for the agency.
Of course. So, join me in the salon.
It won't stink so bad there.
By the way, the guy on the sofa
is Steve, my business partner.
The Vice President, so to speak.
Alright, Steve.
Nice to meet you. Peace!
This is Breslin, my partner.
Also Vice President.
And I'm Julian, President.
You must be here
because of the Zitty article.
That article was shit!
The article may have been shit,
but it made a splash!
Since it came out,
we've had 400 applicants!
That's amazing.
This place was a madhouse yesterday.
Thus the stoppage.
- So what do you do, actually?
- We're fighting the system.
- Good so!
- Well, I mean...
I'm just sick of it!
Breslin and I have this space
that's kind of fucked up
where we sleep and play records.
And we want to change things.
Make it bigger and better.
So we thought we'd turn it into
a kind of anti-America club office.
A place where people
come together and talk.
- Listening would also be good.
- Yeah, listening. Exactly.
A place where hippies,
punks and university professors
come together and exchange ideas.
Like about McDonalds.
Or that TV series...24.
You know it?
You know, where...
...where the black President and
the terrorists and the...
the daughter...
Man, Breslin, say something.
Um...yeah.
I think what Julian means
is that we want
to make a kind of protected area
where kindred spirits can meet
and discuss US hegemony
and America's influence on the world.
Not bad.
I think you're a wonderful woman.
And what you said to me
really opened my eyes.
I have to see you because
there is something I must tell you.
Vogue Deutschland.
Nadja Metzger, Product Management.
Leave a message after the
beep and I'll call you back.
Yeah, Nadja.
The message time ran out.
My God,
how little time one has in life!
We really must spend
more time together.
You and me.
And to be honest, I really have
a lot more time...more time
that I can spend with you...
Boris is a clutz!
Nadja Metzger, Product Management
Leave a message after the
beep and I'll call you back.
Nadja. Boris.
Well
To get to the point...
I'm not a banker.
I'm a model.
I'm a...hand model.
Nadja. I did a campaign for Rolex.
The guy on the fishing boat...
Fuck!
I'd like to start over with you.
Why are you lying again?
You used to be a Rolex hand model.
- They haven't booked you for ages.
- Asshole.
I had a shooting a half year ago
for Rolex. -A shooting?
A black and white add
in a Shanghai telephone book.
- And that was two years ago!
- So what?
That means I'm still the Rolex model.
That's all over now anyway! Come!
That was great!
You do that really well.
- You have a great microphone voice!
- Yeah.
I just do it on the side sometimes.
Actually as a favor to Volker.
Really?
And out of love for Berlin.
- And how did you wind up in Munich?
- I met Stephan.
At a ball at the Opera.
He's a super dancer.
- You can't tell, can you?
- No.
- You can't see it?
- Sure. Straightaway.
Yeah, then we got married.
And where do you live?
In Berlin. Prenzlauerberg.
East or West?
- East.
- Oh. -East.
But we just looked
at a villa in Grunewald.
Grunewald! No way!
We live in Grunwald!!!
Griinwald in Munich,
Grunewald in Berlin!
Who is 'we'?
- My husband and I.
- Ah, you're married?
Of course I'm married.
- What's he do?
- He's a dentist.
- Does he play golf?
- No, tennis.
We also play tennis!
So lets call each other for a tennis
game. -Super!
- Super!
- Definitely!
- Are you good?
- Me not. But he is.
- And you play for points?
- Of course!
We're all about points!
Let me look after
the guests for a minute.
OK. Oh, and do you have champagne?
- Of course we have champagne.
- We'll have a bottle.
- Ciao.
- Till soon.
Jesus, I will follow you.
Jesus, you live in me!
You give my life meaning!
Open your hearts!
- Peace
- Jesus is King!
He loves you!
Peace on earth!
Peace!
Jesus, you live in me.
You give my life meaning!
Give me that!
God is dead!
Satan!
Satan rules the world!
Satan is our master!
Cool!
And what about the Kurds?
Everyone talks about the
Palestinians. And the Kurds?
Everyone shits on the Kurds.
Iran shits on them.
Syria shits on them.
Turkey shits on them.
Turkey shits on them per-eminently.
It's just a matter of time
before Bush also shits on them.
That's why I say Iraq has to be cut
into three smaller countries.
Forget it.
The Saudis will never allow it.
The Saudis, the Saudis.
They have nothing to say...
Shame on you, Leo!
You sorry little hash junky.
You promised me!
What? It's after 11.
Not 11 in the morning. At night!
- You never said 11 PM.
- You understood me.
I thought 11 in the morning.
She hates it when l smoke hash.
What?
And then he regrets it
when the paranoia sets in.
How else am I supposed to
hold up your Persian ass?
Forget my ass
and concentrate on your work.
Klies called.
Nobody showed up and
he is pretty pissed off.
What's wrong? -Klies starts
his living room theater tonight
I promised I'd send some people by
with his stage and install it.
We have time.
- Do we?
- Of course we do.
We'll do our social duties later.
Where are you going?
Klies' stuff is in Mitte.
A friend of Brian's
gave me a toilet.
What?
Klies is worried stiff
about his theater stuff.
And you want to pick up a toilet.
You just want to fuck him.
No, you have it wrong.
I want to be fucked by him.
Your ass-filling is going to have
to wait another 15 minutes.
Man that is ugly!
Can you imagine
how many people have shat in it?
No, and I don't want to, either.
I bet a lot.
OK, I understand.
You fell in love with
some over-styled chick!
But take it slow.
See if it is really the right thing.
Usually it takes you only 2 weeks.
It's different this time.
- How?
- What Anja said to me.
Her name was Nadja before.
Nadja. Anja. Nadja!
It doesn't matter.
What she said had depth.
I'm sure it did!
As deep as a...
a puddle. A pussy puddle.
You are just primitive.
I want to start a new life.
With Nadja. And love cannot
be built on a shitty pile of lies!
OK.
Buy why begin this new honest life
with the biggest fraud
you have ever committed?
Because to start a new life I have
to sweep away the old one.
And for that I need money.
I will make a final sacrifice
for my past life: my left hand!
Oh!
- Will you do the honors?
- Of course.
But I can't drink such brine.
Excuse me! I'll pour it anyway, no?
Hey, Charlotte!
Charlotte! Tell him to stop!
Do you know him?
Prosit! Let's drink first!
Who is that guy?
He's a neighbor. Of my sister.
Peter, be a nice guy and go home!
Home!
I can't believe this.
- Charlotte!
- What's wrong with him?
Zoom in on him.
- Wave now!
- Hello!
I got him! I got him!
- Berlin!
- That's Berlin, eh?
He's a hard-luck case.
A funny one at that!
I don't find it so funny.
Shit, the battery is dead.
I can't believe it.
Here, wanna have it?
Cell phone. My gift.
Hi, mama!
Yeah, we're here on the Spree.
So you and, uh...
- You studied together, or what?
- Yeah.
Do I look uneducated, or what?
It's just you look much younger
than her. -Thank you.
Take my calling card. My cell number
is on the back. You can just...
We're at the Adlon tonight,
right? My mother...
The Adlon's fine.
And you can send me a message
with you cell number.
And I'll call you.
I'm often on business here.
Lets do it!
Excuse me. At 8?
At 8, 9, whatever!
At 8,then. 8 is fine.
Good, mama. Take care!
Go away.
We are here for Klies' stuff.
Easy, easy, tiger.
We'll just bring it out
and then go.
Every breakup needs a ritual.
So much for trust.
I just don't know what to do.
I am so stressed out.
He always threatened to move out,
but when things got bad
I had him knock me around
and then everything was fine again.
Maybe he will come back.
He probably just
overshot the mark a little.
But that shot was a direct hit.
- Delicious.
- Fantastic.
There is no point crying
over spilled milk.
Spilled milk. I am not a kitten.
I am a caramel.
We had a great time together.
Our love was like a nuclear bomb!
Listen, Caramel.
One question.
Does he have a new man already?
As far as I know he has several.
It hurts so much.
I've been gorging for days
but can't go to the toilet
I just can't let go!
Anyway, we have to take the stuff
for Klies' performance tonight.
And we are already running late.
So it is tonight.
That is what I am saying.
As I said, time is running out
As I said, honey...
It is so embarrassing that
you still live with your parents.
You father is a total joke
with his shitty boat and big mouth.
What a show-off.
But I cannot get own apartment
if I do not have a job.
And now the employment office
is cutting me off
for not helping with
that stupid asparagus harvest.
You know what I think?
If Satan was really
so on top of things
then he would
give us a little support.
And how are you so sure
that the insurance will pay?
Because I am still with
the Starlight agency.
Look, I've prepared everything.
A hand lopped off here
brings about EUR 300,000.
layout hack it off up here by
the elbow, there's another 60,000.
But I don't want that
because it will look like shit.
And the hacked-off hand
will not look like shit?
I'm not so sure.
There are advantages.
I mean, if the whole lower arm
is gone, you're a cripple.
But a missing hand
is a sign of character.
A chic one at that!
I was thinking of something noble,
but I'm not sure.
Maybe you're right. Maybe I should
just lop off three fingers.
The thumb is the most important.
It brings at least 60,000.
Boris. Boris, please.
Add two fingers and
you get 120,000.
I could keep my ring finger
for the wedding with Nadja.
Boris.
It's Nadja.
You don't have the balls to pick up?
I called Starlight for your
number after your psychotic message.
They told me they sent you
a pick slip 6 months ago!
Don't dare to call me at my job
again, you fake little shit!
You're all the same.
I cannot do that.
L.m
I just thought of something! Maybe
I could use the flat side of the ace
and try for coverage... -Stop! Stop!
...Of the essentials here.
- I'm a pacifist, man!
If the ace is too brutal, then use
the hedge clipper, you loser!
Charlotte.
Hello, painter of art!
- Here!
- Slow, slow, slow.
- I have to tell you...
- Sit down now.
And keep your mouth shut.
Or else we are through.
Understand?
I don't need the money.
Go now, please.
What is the problem?
Blow us already!
This is no small amount. These days
whores are happy to make so much.
- I'll jack you off for 25.
- Right-0! -Fine! -Me!
Go now. The new workfare project has
made my husband really aggressive.
But Natasha, you are a modern woman!
Understand? A modern woman.
Don't take orders from that idiot.
That psychopath Horst!
You don't have to take orders.
You're an emancipated woman.
That idiot with his Grey dog,
he's crazy!
What are you doing with that psycho!
Come on, leave it!
Hi Horst. What's up?
- Hello, Charlotte?
- He's at it again!
Can you hear me? Hel-lo?
Snap snap here! Champagne!
Like for those fine prigs over there!
Have this beer. -Who are those
conservative foreskins?
I ordered champagne, not beer!
- Drink it and shut your mouth.
I have something to tell you.
Something beautiful, heavenly!
Heavenly!
So...
Cheers, then!
What is with that guy? Unbelievable!
Hello.
Peter Raminsky.
Hey, it'; okay.
And who are you?
Have I seen you before?
This is my girlfriend. Charlotte.
We are, you know... My little sweet!
So Peter, my friend...
We'll just go
sit down calmly over there.
You're making me look like a chump!
You're not ashamed of me, are you?
He's not ashamed of his wife!
Shut your mouth.
These assholes might pay our rent.
Understand? But not if you keep
babbling like a drunk!
- So shut up!
- Can I tell you something?
We don't need money! It's all good!
We can be open about it.
Charlotte is my girlfriend.
Just ask Volker! We are going to
drink here until we fall over!
Just act like he's not there!
Champagne-a-go go, baby! Chop chop!
- What are you looking at, foreskin!
- Calm down, asshole!
People paid for this trip!
You are making commotion, by Christ!
You have nothing to say, mate!
This is not Stuttgart!
Not Stuttgart. Munich!
You have nothing to say here!
Understand? This is Berlin.
Enemy territory!
You are dead here, mate.
These are all my friends.
Now lets have some champagne.
Pigs on the dole
don't drink champagne.
- You ossi!
- Shut your mouth, fuckwit!
- Shut the fuck up!
- Just don't look at him.
I'm Peter Raminsky.
Get away from me you shit!
I've been puked on!
Fucking shit!
You'll get one on the mouth now,
asshole!
Puking on us like this!
- I have him. I have him!
- This way, slowly.
- Get in there.
- Hey! Ouch.
Come on, Nazis.
Shit.
Open up!
I want out.
Please excuse this minor incident.
Stay in your seats
and everything will be fine.
We will go merrily on
just like before.
So please don't get upset.
We'll finish the trip just fine!
I'm really sorry, Daniels.
Please excuse me.
Stop fondling me!
Charlotte, get back to work!
- Do it!
- Why should I? Give me one reason?
- Who is this girl, anyway?
- Just do it!
You jack off with your left hand.
What will you do without it?
Stop right now. Calm down.
Calm down!
Breathe.
Take a deep breath and think this
through. -Calm down already.
Me, calm down? I'm completely calm!
On the house, naturally.
I don't want champagne.
I want to be on land.
We're puked on and smell like pigs.
We have go get off this boat.
Go back to your corner, Charlotte.
By the way...
That date you wanted
won't work out.
My boyfriend locked in the toilet
wouldn't like that.
Are you crazy?
I never said date.
I gave you my card
so we could meet to play tennis.
You're a pathological liar!
Oh yeah? And why did you give me
the card when she was on the phone?
On the phone?
She was on the phone next to me!
She saw me give you the card.
- You are really a...
- A scheming cunt is what you are!
...In West Berliner territory
and the President's Palace
was in East Berliner territory.
In the death strip
along the Berlin Wall.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
I would like to say...
Stop this!
Fuck off! One last announcement!
One last announcement!
I'd like to direct your attention
to that slut over there!
We had the same professor,
and she blew him
for a better grade.
Do you want to know her nickname?
Analita! They called her Analita.
Because she always
took it from behind!
Analita.
What are you looking at, cunt?
Take a bow!
And now she's playing the
bourgeoise Wessi bride.
This fake little
worn-out fuck bunny!
Just look at her!
Did you ever notice how your daughter
doesn't resemble you at all?
What does this have to do
with my daughter?
You're a lamb.
The mother: cafe brown.
The daughter: black as dirt.
The father: white as my ass.
I should be provoked by this?
Everyone says it! It's pathetic.
- Stop it.
- You're such a poor lamb, my God!
It's genetically possible.
Genetics and Goethe's color theory...
- What does Goethe have to do with it?
- A lot.
- Nothing!
- Then I'll have to be more clear.
- Be more clear then!
- I will.
Think more clearly
about what you want.
Remember Kenia Karl?
I am not doing it.
Kenia Karl,
residence Lychener Street 79.
- The Rasta Man.
- I don't know him.
What happened when you were selling
tomatoes at the farmer's market?
Or were out of town?
And what is supposed
to have happened?
Edna the volcano,
Edna the blow job machine!
Edna the volcano! And Kenia Karl!
From morning to night like rabbits!
- Do it!
- Stop it!
Do it or I'll bring out
the whole truth!
Your wife had orgies with nearly
every Rasta Man in the city!
And Kenia Karl was the ringleader.
And I was there, too.
- When I was drunk...
- You didn't fuck her.
Of course I did!
Of course I fucked her.
And those blow job lips!
You idiot!
I said only three fingers!
Now do the whole thing!
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Call a doctor!
Call a doctor!
Here comes Freddy!
- I gave it to them.
- Leave me alone or lick my ass!
We still have a hen to pluck!
You should give it to him.
Go on, kick him in the balls.
Show you're a man.
Show you have muscles.
Go on, yeah.
Twist his balls.
Show him!
Twist his nipples.
Bite him!
Shit.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
the Munich Idiot has won again!
Berlin has lost.
I would now like to bid you farewell.
Bye!
Guys, you have to take me with you.
I have to see him.
- No way, muchacho. The bus is full.
- No it's not.
Julian, it is forbidden to
let people ride in the back.
Why?
- Why?
- Why.
Ask the police.
They make the fucking rules.
Oh, fuck the police.
Come on, hop in the back.
Why did you hit my other eye?
You saw one was black. Why not hit
that one again? Now I've got two.
Now the stupid fucker wants to tell
me which of his eyes I should hit.
3 FUCKS X 3 = 9 FUCKS.
That makes 900 Euros.
What? 900 Euros?
She liked it, mate. Tell him.
If she liked it, then it is
not prostitution. It is free love.
As simple as that.
First of all, Natasha is my wife.
And if my wife fucks for money,
then she is working. That's OK.
But if my wife fucks for free
then she is a dirty scheming slut.
And that is not OK.
That is not at all OK.
But because you three
are just smelly little assholes,
it cannot be considered real fucking.
I will give you a special price.
3 for 1.
300 Euros by the weekend.
You are each just 113 of a fuck
Shut up, mate!
- What?
- Accept it!
I will explain.
- What?
- Sorry, I cannot accept.
I fucked her so long that she came
I will not be called 113 of a fuck
- You are a full fuck.
- I am a full fuck.
I am happy to hear that.
- 900 Euros.
- Victim!
Why did you have to open your mouth?
Why didn't you simply accept
beeing 1/3 of a fuck.
300 Euros, man.
It is not my fault you have
small dicks. -Who?
What are you saying?
I will put my monster in your ass.
Hanzi, you are almost out of water.
Hanzi!
Hey, grandma. Feeling fresh today?
This will be a bit cold.
Well?
And what was going on with you?
Nothing, eh?
Well, it was the same for me.
Nothing has really changed.
You didn't miss anything.
Hopefully your dreams are nice.
I recently had such a strange dream.
I was all alone
in the Carribean on a ship.
Me, all alone.
This time I was the Captain.
The weather was nice.
And when I looked to the beach
it was full of girls waving to me.
And below me was the sea.
Really deep.
Then suddenly
suddenly there was
a huge wave.
And I...
I thought...
Anyway...
And then l woke up.
Don't be so messy.
That satanic troll is on the phone.
You have to help me tomorrow.
I had to fire Charlotte. You will
have to read the shitty tourist text.
OK?
Yeah.
Fuck your parents!
Stand up to them for once, man!
Yeah. You are right, Fred.
But it's not so easy.
I'll give it a try.
You'll give it a try.
Now listen, scrotum-face.
You complain all the time
about unemployment
and how you need cash
to get your own place.
I discovered a ritual that will
bring us power and wealth.
666.
The number of the devil. Capich?
So get your fat ass over here.
Pronto!
- You believe in this?
- Believe in it? I know it.
Lavey is right.
Lavey is always right. After all,
he is the master of all Satanists.
What exactly do we have to do?
I prepared everything already.
We just need the main ingredient.
A woman to do it with us.
Do what?
To play the sacrifice, so to speak.
But we won't be
eating her heart, will we?
Of course not.
It is actually pretty harmless.
And where will we find a woman?
GREEDY BITCHES FROM EAST.
Yeah, send us this Natasha.
What? Huttelstrasse 7.
Kleinberger's the name on the buzzer.
Thank you.
It's all right.
No, Natasha. Of course not.
You just lie naked on the altar.
And my buddy here
paints a black cross on your back.
And we sing the Verse of the Bucks.
No. That sounds totally disgusting.
I don't do stuff like that.
No, I am Russian Orthodox.
Come on, do us this favor.
I mean, we need your help.
See it as an act of charity.
I am an emancipated woman.
I really don't think we should force
a beautiful woman into something.
You shut up.
- I want to fuck, mate.
- What?
You should think about where to get
the 900 Euros for that nutcase.
He was really in jail, no kidding.
The bastard is dangerous.
Fucking Horst, mate. Horst.
Hey, fellas, remember when we gave
those two bitches a lift?
They went to that Goa party.
They'll all be out of it by now.
They will all be drunk
and totally spaced out.
- So? What do we want with all that?
- What?
You said it yourself.
Their pockets are full of cash.
- They are spoiled brats.
- Cash? How do you know that?
They are all students. Mommy and
daddy stick cash up their asses.
Jackpot! Like the old days.
- Off to the Goa party.
- Let's go to the Goa party.
What do I have to do to get them?
Oh, not a lot.
You just have to come up with us
and paint something nice with us.
But I have to go home soon.
No you don't.
Come with us and we will have fun.
But I don't want to. And I'm not
supposed to go with strangers.
We are not real strangers.
We live around here.
My daddy said you
have a screw loose.
And should be in a hospital.
Oh really? So who is your daddy?
What do we do now?
If only one of us had a girlfriend.
Your granny. Of course.
Why didn't I think of her
in the first place?
The book says nothing
about the woman's condition.
Are you out of your mind?
My grandma is in a coma.
So much the better.
So won't realize a thing.
No, forget about that. Never.
Never, never, never.
Hi, this is Breslin Bostrap.
From the Agency, you know.
Leo told us to give you a hand.
- What hand?
- Oh, that's nice.
Well, we have the set
for your home theater in our truck.
We would like to come up.
You sound like an idiot.
- Hey, handsome.
- Hi.
Hi. Did you find the flat all right?
Sure. I used to live around here.
Interesting.
- I hope you still have enough power.
- Sure.
When you are done I will give you
some nice bee balm ice tea.
Really? Well, that sounds super!
Super? Where the hell is your brain?
Sharing your scrotum with your balls?
- Let's finish this.
- Why doesn't that fag come help?
- Julian!
- Don't you get it?
- Bee balm ice tea! Is that gay code?
- Julian!
No, man, my back is killing me.
I am not a Polish moving company.
There is no
living room theater up there.
The boxes are full of personal shit.
He is using us
for his fucking deliveries.
What have we got here?
Is your fucking miniscule
stinking karma
coming back to bite your ass?
The boomerang hits the thrower.
- Horse and carriage in the rut.
- Hey, mate!
Come on, mate. Don't bullshit me.
Well, Julian,
my words are the salt in your wounds.
- Hash?
- Very funny.
But it's funny.
That's my toilet you fucking idiot.
Man, if it wasn't covered with shit
I'd kick your ass.
Do you have some paper?
What is this shit,
my little sugar pie?
You stink!
- What a nice flat, Klies.
- Yeah, yeah.
Well, come on.
Come on.
Now where is your gay
theater going to take place?
Oh, shit, yeah...
No theater tonight. I had to cancel.
My nerves are totally shot.
First I have to look
after my burned little sugar lump.
Hello, my baby.
Goa Party.
Try to blend in.
This is a Victim Party.
- You think so?
- Yeah. Goa.
Look, he's dancing with that chica.
Hell's flames have been fanned
and the innermost thoughts emerge.
Open the gates to darkness.
Oh, great precursor.
Appear in this circle.
Enter through the gates
of the shining trapezohedron.
For the blood has been offered
Show your presence in humans
and do not remain any...
Are you stupid? I've told you
a thousand times, it's not voodoo.
This is Satanism!
It will never work like this.
Man, you...
Show your presence...
Look here,
this is at least 300 Euros.
I told you.
They're all high, out of it.
Their pupils are like this.
- What the hell, fatty.
- We are rich.
Here's 35 for you.
To our workday!
- What is this, mate?
- What is this stuff? Alcohol?
Hey, brother?
What kind of alcohol is this?
Alcohol?
That's not alcohol,
my dear, dear friend.
Have a good trip.
- Bon voyage.
- Bon voyage, yeah.
Have a good trip.
Barkeeper,
what do you call this shit?
What do you mean, shit?
That's ketamine, man.
It's rhino-anesthetic, mate!
We didn't come
for a rhino operation, mate.
- Ketamine?
- It's too late now.
I think I am getting dizzy.
What are you doing there?
What are you doing?
Pussies!
Where are pussies?
There aren't any pussies, man!
Where are pussies?
Ali, do you see pussies?
There are no pussies.
What are you doing? Are you crazy?
Pussies can't fly. You victim!
Halil.
Halil, his face, look.
See that?
- Airplane.
- Halil, have a look.
Man, your face.
You see that?
Something is wrong with your face.
What is that there?
Halil?
You too will be of no help to her.
You,
who only ever betrayed human beings.
- Satan rules the world.
- King of the dregs.
I break the law.
Some grasp it with their forehead,
their feet, their claws...
Some bite suddenly without a warning.
Punishment is certain and severe.
This is the law. Are we not human?
We are humans.
Not to scratch the bark or tree,
that is the law. Are we not humans?
Not to growl or roar,
that is the law. Are we not humans?
Not to growl and to roar.
Are we not humans?
You are not allowed to eat trees.
You have to hug them.
Wow. A Christmas tree!
But it is not Christmas.
Silent night, holy night...
We are all just dumb sheep.
- Did you steal my purse?
- Purse?
1
- Purse.
- Are you nuts? He stole my purse!
- Shit.
- Her purse, Halil.
- Are you crazy?
- Bastard!
Did you steal more?
Give me my purse!
Are you the one?
We are here for each another.
But, Barbie...
- Let's go.
- I have to find my friends.
I feel them on my skin, because...
- You are the only bear.
- Bear!
Barbie...
There are bears in the forest.
I have to find my friends!
The sacrifice must
be penetrated anally
and as a sign of blasphemy,
the sperm should be
ejaculated onto the sacrifice's back.
- Could you say that again in German?
- Yes.
You have to fuck your granny in the
ass and splash the stuff on her back.
Are you whacked?
I can't fuck my granny in the ass.
Stop making a fuss.
Follow the instructions.
Lavey is a sick bastard if he
wants me to ass-fuck my granny.
Do it, if you want to get anywhere.
Are you crazy? Do it yourself.
You have to do it.
- And why me?
- The effect is stronger then.
How is the effect
going to be stronger
if I stick my prick into
my granny's ass?
Because you are her grandson.
And that is far more blasphemous
than if stranger did it. Got it?
Now, come on.
Stop making such a fuss.
You can do it.
- I can't.
- Yes, you can.
Let me tell you. You can do
anything. You are a strong guy.
Come on, we have to do this now.
Come, now.
Here.
Implore the dark forces
to give you the necessary strength.
You have to be strong now.
How can I get it up with my granny?
If it was my mother at least
maybe it would work.
I will look away.
Think about power and wealth!
Great. See, it is working.
Granny!
- Granny!
- Good day you, Frau Eberhard.
How is it going?
So, granny. Sausage?
Thanks. Thank you, my boy.
Why did you have me there naked
if you were trying to heal me?
Well, it was... You know,
it said so in Fred's medicine book.
Then you are almost part
of the family, if you saw me naked.
Yes, granny, you are right somehow.
- Is it summer already?
- Yeah.
It is summer.
Where are you?
Are you crazy?
- Stop it, Charlotte.
- All because of you.
Stop it!
Why should I? You deserve it.
You deserve something else!
I wanted to tell you,
I won the lottery.
500,000! Understand?
That's why I came
to that stupid boat.
Because I wanted to tell you!
I am really fed up with you,
Charlotte.
You don't know what
a lottery ticket looks like.
Here, look.
You don't have to believe me.
You see that?
This is what 5 winning numbers
look like.
5 winning numbers.
Bye, Charlotte.
I don't believe a word you're saying.
You don't have to believe me.
It's all right here.
Wait!
Money is not so important.
Right?
I don't know. You think so?
It's what one is inside that matters.
Sure, if you say so.
You're really a nasty, unprincipled
piece of work, I must say.
Really?
And you are a failure.
What do you mean?
Now we are 1 to 1.
When will we get to the hospital?
Soon.
Boris,
what you said about Edna is not true,
right? You just wanted to provoke me.
Of course not.
You are clever. You know how to twist
people around your finger.
You know
I am really happy right now.
Roger
I think
this is one of those few
true moments in life
that fly through your head
just before you croak.
Yes.
Boris, yes.
- This one is quite good.
- Yeah.
And somehow so pure
so clear.
Where are we?
Where are we?
Oh, my eye!
What is this place here?
Just look!
Hey, boys, how cool is this?
We spend all day running after
pussy and now look at this beauty.
After pussy, after money!!!
Just look at this! Nature.
It is always here.
Is this not cool?
It is always here like it is now.
See? This is what we need now,
something like this.
Hey, but it's morning again, mate.
Isn't that cool?
Oh my God.
Another stiff y, mate.
I want to fuck Natasha now.
Oh, mine is even stiffer.
But no money, mate.
So then off into the water, fellas.
Stephan, are you mad now?
Because of what she said on the boat?
You don't believe it, do you?
Why not? I have to fuck
your ass every night, too.
You are my husband.
- What's wrong? Is this Stuttgart?
Do you have tennis courts?
Yes, in the gym over there.
- Fine, I'll be over there then.
Do you want me to come?