Biao jie, ni hao ye! III zhi da ren jia dao (1993) - full transcript

Sheng, hell with you?

Reading such a magazine
when there's flooding in China?

What fallows "the party's mother to me"?

"The party is home to me"

and what follows "ll listen to mother"

"I have this home"

and the next?

Are you ready? Come on

we Chinese have gone through a lot

so we must exercise our breathing

to dive and save in case of need



longer the control, the
more people you save

you're good for nothing

let's pray 10 minutes for the flood victims

What's wrong with you, sheng?

How can you have the flood victims

in such a shout time?

What if there's flooding

in other parts of China?

The water in e. China is not so salty

they didn't bathe. They stink

well, diving this afternoon
you're good for nothing

you don't know the hardship without trying

no?

I can dive for 1 hour without coming up



let me show you right away

don't call me until half an hour later

it's not yet half an hour

I'm nimble. I am saving people

after saving,

I needn't stay so long

let me demonstrate once more

I've saved one more

next time tell me to go down to save

commissioner, an urgent call from central

Comrade

comrade shih-nan

what's your first
impression of the capital?

It's large, and so is the tiananmen square

right, dozens of tanks can pass

the chief is visiting Hong Kong soon

make the necessary arrangement

what a heavy responsibility

Hong Kong's full of baddies

united democrats

crc, lu ping, etc...

Lu ping's our man

ok, not lu ping

they all rampage and go against us

and those malicious mudslingers

putting up posters

the chief might get scared

or fed up in hk

don't go to Hong Kong

there are cold-blooded
underworld killers too

I know

since it's been decided. Let him go

otherwise, he may bad mouth us

right, right

and don't publicize the trip

to ensure his safe return

I assign this mission to you

okay

shih-nan, are you educated?

I'm an arts graduate from
chung shan university

a graduate from
the national breath control college

and a senior certificate holder
of the sale management

and...

Good, you're educated

have you read quotation from chairman mao?

Mao thought? I memorize every line

read some to me

good, thought mao

then I can read the dictionary backwards

tion-die

you are crossing me?

Okay

sheng, what's your educational standard?

I'm a university...

Undergraduate

what class?

Applying

my education may be so so

but have esp

don't start that

stop cheating with magic

go through the data closely

before arranging

the chief's hk itinerary

okay

1, 2, 3, eat, 1, 2, 3, eat...

Auntie, when can we eat?

Do you understand?

Yes

you may eat

do you need the 9th portion?

No, we're not so greedy

not bad

compliments to the chef

that won't be necessary

your candy cakes are nice

are they? Why haven't I got my portion?

No meal is complete without them

no?

Impossible

they're all here

you've eaten eight wet napkins?

Miss, it's all right. Please take them away

what a shame

An earthquake?

It's sinking!

Sinking? Only a ship sinks

your attention please:
There's a slight trouble

engines 1 and 2 have broken down

check for yourselves

yes, yes, the plane won't
turn over this way

don't do this

we'll keep flying with
engine three and four

but...

We'll be late for 1 or 2 hours

it's better late than never

we're lucky if we arrive late

the plane taken by my classmate's brother

crashed and over 900 bodies were discovered

don't exaggerate

what plane can carry so many passengers?

It crash-laned on a cemetery

hell with you!

Ladies & gentlemen,

there's now an accident

what now?

Don't worry

1-2 engines mean 1-2 hours' delay

3-4 mean

3-4 hours' delay only

we're not in a hurry

with all engines gone,

the plane's falling!

Try to escape!

There's one way out

when the plane's 4 feet

from the ground

we jump

and we'll be all right

I have another way out

use parachutes. Comrade, lend me one

put it on

let me use it, please

pilot, can you hear me?

We'll in parachute. Open the door!

This is not the intercom

it's helmet for your head

what are you doing?

Jump for my life

this is not a parachute, it's a life jacket

this isn't a helmet either,
it's an oxygen mask

I demonstrated them before the take-off

but you cared only

about eating ad shows

and kept staining at me only

what's the matter with you?
Come back to your seat

the plane is all right

it's all right

it's all right

please return to your seats

Those people look like ants

they are ants!

We're alive. We don't see him

comrade, have we reached Hong Kong?

Due to engine trouble,

we were forced to land in cks airport

it's all right now

we're safe

it's Taiwan's cks airport

Taiwan?

Are you all right?

Yes, yes

please have your papers ready

for security check

tear off all your papers

why?

We are landing on Taiwan

is Taiwan liberated?

No, but we can't expose our identities

to avoid falling into
the hands of the kuomintang

what about the people's daily?

Tear it too

and renminbi?

Tear it too

th e n renmin"?

Tear it too

what did you say?

You won't understand

just tear a little bit, okay? Like this

have you torn it?

How is it?

Swallow it

I won't

if the kuomintang

discovers these

the chief's life may be in danger

it I swallow it, my life will be in danger

it's made of wheat

it's good for health

swallow it

sheng, I've had stomach trouble these days

be nice and eat it for me

you know what to do

if you're taken prisoner

just look at my eyes for signal

right, just keep quiet

swallow it now

have your passport ready, sir

have your passport ready for inspection

are you all right?

It hurts

going to deliver?

This girl's lovely

the way she looks

she must be quiet and gentle

she'll make a good wife and mother

who are you?

I'm chiang ta-jung of
national security board

chiang?

Since you've lost your
passports and you're ill

I've come specially to see how things are

where's my assistant?

In the toilet

You really are public security men
from the mainland

did you eat all my papers?

Yes, I did

your certificate was indigestible

it's come out intact

you're the 1st mainland

security girl in Taiwan

and I'm the 1st

taiwanese to discover you

halt! I'm not your prey

no persecution of pow's,

Geneva convention

no, leaving aside personal feelings

you're distinguished guests

of the Republic of China

I'll seek permission to extend

first class hospitality to you

Polities are chaotic
with regular fist fights

in contrast,

every delegate says yes

in our national people's congress

Let me introduce premier li

asylum?

We're not insane

not asylum, the cabinet

it's the same as your state councils

what? Your cabinet is our state councils

"one country two yuans"?

On behalf of the ruling party,

I'd like to know your demands

lots of them

first, suppress
the Taiwan independence movement

otherwise, Hong Kong, macao,

Tibet and the manchuria
may seek independence too

sorry

we can't accept this

aren't you afraid of the liberation army?

This means interference in internal affairs

Taiwan is an integral part of China

Taiwan is ruled by Chinese in Taiwan

it means Taiwan independence

you're out of your mind!

I'll use silkworm missiles to attack you

I'll use patriot missiles to counter them

have you got patriot missiles?

With money, I can buy them

I'll use mig-29 to bomb them

I'll use f16 to fight your mig

f167? You bought it too?

Yes, we bought wasp,

saud and m1 tanks too

don't! They're highly destructive

don't worry. Our liberation
army is invincible

we also have a liberation army

really?

We've bought it too

have you?

They're shoddy stuff only

let's fight him!

You go!

- Okay, come in
- Don't be impulsive

that manon TV

sir, let us handle it

The food is coming

Help yourself, auntie

no, we mustn't drink kuomintang water

nor its rice

communist party members really have pride

what about kuomintang air?

We must filter it

I must exhale it

if it's kuomintang air

just have a look

okay. Train your Patience

The tanks, the tanks are coming!

Tanks?

Merely squeaks of your empty tummy!

Your imagination only

I'm not hungry

frankly, it's my fury over

Taiwan's capitalist society

I can't hold on, I'm passing out

don't eat

it's matter of party face

well, sheng, close your eyes

and you won't be tempted by the food

you slept soundly

when I coaxed you to sleep as a child

will it work?

Yes, try

Take your time, no hurry

retire after eating your fill

we'll slow you around Taipei,

orders from above

have a sight-seeing tour

take your time, easy

auntie

did you eat in secret?

I had to see if they drugged it

so I tasted it to find out

I'll never eat it

This is our presidential building

don't take me to see Lee teng-hui

I haven't contacted comrade xiaoping yet

president Lee has no time to see you

in fact, I can decide
whether or not to see him

let me treat him to dinner tonight

please indicate the time and place

president Lee really has no time to see you

never mind, I'm busy tonight anyway

I must call comrade xiaoping

auntie, did you have

a lip of the tongue?

Tonight I'll drink 20 glasses

to each of you

good, good

just drinking is boring

miss Cheng, let's play games

can you play the star game?

Let's guess something else for a change

anything you say

what about the Japanese game?

Okay

come on

cheers, cheers!

Again

again

drink the big one

asshole

they know that

asshole

how do they know?

Come again

sheng, twist your head

why you chose "hammer" three times

and the same turn three times?

I meant to trap him

lost, drink!

Drink. You daren't face me after losing?

Never!

The neck's twisted

I know I've lost. I'll drink

damn, let me drink
the big glasses with you if you prefer

enough

don't!

Each of you drink big glasses with me

is it okay with you?

Yes

come on, bottoms up

bottoms up

okay

all finished?

Come on, you drink

I'm sheng

so what? You've to drink too

Sheng, sheng

what are you doing?

What's the time? Why didn't you wake me up?

I put down a note

can a note wake up?

Where are we?

The home of uncle Yung

why call him uncle?

What's his relation with us?

Repeat from beginning
what happened last night?

We started with rescuing flood victims
and were ordered to go to the capital

closer

then or plane developed engine trouble
and landed in Taiwan

still closer

you shouted
when I brushed my teeth and rinsed my face

too close. Start from last night

uncle Yung took us

to eat at Mei hsiang restaurant

you drank with mr chen,

then mr Chang

then toasted to chu lien
gang, and another gang

you drank, drank and drank

what happened then?

I lost consciousness

how could you have lost consciousness?

I drank because you were so elated...

I didn't know those people

how could I have drunk with them?

You must've been dreaming

no, I remember clearly

clearly?

Remember the color of the wine?

Colorless

I see

experts say anything in dream is colorless

those taiwanese

must've drugged our food

when I was unconscious, he embraced me

took me home, then lightly put me in bed

then he switched on the record player

and broadcast Mozart's 8 major

then he poured champagne

in candlelight

while I was lying there defenseless

the storm outside greeted

the torrid scene indoors

that was only your illusion, auntie

more or less

a female has good esp

didn't you discover

that taiwanese fancies me?

And make no bones about it

no man would've missed

that opportunity last night

uncle Yung is not that evil

in your eyes, Taiwan rubbish is a gem

yes, I picked a steam
iron from the litter box

I must find out

what really happened last night

you do it yourself, auntie. I must pack up

a bit discomfort on the chest

why is the underwear new?

What happened?

Practicing your voice so early?
Come on, wipe your face

what are you doing? The rice is cooked

chiang, I'll kill you!

To average
thousands and thousands of females insulted

what did you say?

You stained a girl's clean body

that's like taking away her dream

without that dream, she's finished

without her,

the proletariat be liberated without her

socialism in the world

can't be liberated without her

it won't stand by without doing anything

its brotherly soldiers won't give up

your moment's pleasure has

ended in the unity of the motherland

how could you have framed me for that?

Yu won't admit to what you did last night?

What did I do last night?

The record player, Mozart,
champagne and the candle

I can't follow what you said

what record player? What Mozart?

What's this?

I admit this

you do?

How did

last night end?

Well, listen

you and sheng

were loaded last night

to avoid the press,

I brought you both here

how, how...

And you raised a hell

what?

You took it for a wedding night

what?

And you held me and insisted on kissing me

what? What?

I pushed you away with difficulty

what?

Then you vomited and it stank

so I had to take off your clothing

you changed for me?

Yes

I may not know how to please a girl

but I respect her

I know nothing about sexual relationship

but I know such a relationship is mutual

and it is made only after lawful marriage

seems changing clothes

is high treason

besides, I switched off the light

did you do it in darkness?

I lit the lighter

so you saw everything

nothing

what?

I didn't see anything

even if I did, it was nothing

now you owe me a big favor

tell me the positions of
the missiles in Taiwan

what?

Tell me about
the deployment of missiles in Taiwan

I don't know it, and it's not a deal

tell me about the secret
of chiang ching-kuo's death then

there's no secret about it

he died of diabetes and everybody knows it

you really didn't do anything last night?

No. You know better about this

it can't be known without practice

do you want to be checked by a doctor?

No, I don't trust you doctors

and what do you mean by

"the rice is cooked"?

I cooked rice this morning
for you to eat before the journey

it's now cooked

Sorry, I won't see you off

I'm too sentimental, all spent

goodbye

goodbye

we're no longer enemies?

No more

friends?

Yes

are we...

No

Goodbye

bye

With the world

changing rapidly

our overseas agents are having

the life of chief chien is in our hands

so are the properties of our hk brethren

you've been agents in hk

for a long time

you must know hk well

tho' it's only a personal visit

chairman chien is the npc chairman any way

I'm ready to give a 21-gun welcome

we don't have 21 guns

jardines fires the noon day gun every day

yes, but it's a British company

well,

auntie, the men
from Hongkong's political branch are here

meeting dismissed

get me data on the branch
as soon as possible

Auntie, political branch

my name is shih-nan Cheng

how are you? Good morning

sit down. Thank you

sheng, be my interpreter

I'm inspector lu of political branch

I'm half breed, Chinese ritish

me, too, kwangtung and szechwan

and you?

I'm fushan and pao chiang

it's chan Jiang, not pao chiang

you're mixed nonsense

you must have a high political standard

have you read Marx-Lenin and mao works?

I read a lot books on horse racing

how about comrade deng's works no.2?

No

So you from political branch
know nothing about politics

what do you do?

Formerly we kept an eye on you people

now we're protecting you

good, rectify your mistake

we've already prepared

quarters for chief chien

you take charge of security

it's his second visit to Hong Kong

we must make preparations and arrangements

in places to be visited by him

Right, it smells of chungnanhai

sheng, search

what?

Frankly, no bugging devices

something's lacking

what?

A spittoon. Note it down

I'll go and but it right away

you joined your branch
to get British abode rights?

Stay here to Usher in 1997

anybody not saying anything

not plotting anything
against the party and country

or antagonizing the party

or vilifying the party and country's movies

or taking part in queen's
road demonstrations

has a brilliant future before him or her

if you've done these and repent

you may apply for public housing

if you don't repent and insist

then we won't feed you but

deprive you of your human rights

aren't we here?

What a comfortable bed

hope he won't sleep
forever without waking up

of course, he won't

see if it's hard

what installations over here?

The most advanced airconditioning

to create the same temperature
and humidity as in Peking

a satellite TV system has been specially

set up to exclusively broadcast central TV

so he'll feel much at home

sister, sister

have you woken up, please?

Did I fall asleep?

Sheng, did I fall asleep?

No idea, I fell asleep myself

outrageous!

Since taking over this mission,

I haven't had any nap

go on

no, what a shame

to sleep on the job

sister, brother one

he's the most famous chef in hk

he's specially prepared
a menu for chief chien

br. One, show it to sister

let me see

excellent

deer antler, yellow wine, white wine

immerse the antler in white wine

emptying the white wine,
then cook the antler with yellow wine

one dose every day up to 3-5 doses

don't" indulge in sex while taking it

sorry, sorry

for potency? What was it?

An aphrodisiac - a sex drug?

Outrageous! Openly making "two chinas"

the underworld people
will take with us here

we've been here, we talked last time

you know the place; You
take charge of security

no, we're experienced
in talking with the underworld

but I have no confidence in you

inspector lu

I don't understand why old chien...

Chief, that's a salutation
to an old comrade

why's chi peng-fei called...

Old chi. Don't take this for fun

why did he insist on
coming to tsimshatsui east?

He was in hk during the war

and is nostalgic

we'll visit his old house in a minute

frankly, if anything should happen

to his secret visit,

hk might shake

don't worry. I sprang
up in tismshatsui east

inspector lu

sit down

what can I do for you, inspector lu?

They're kaifong leaders of tsimshatsui

how do you do?

The public security from above

your unit, please?

The boss of sun tee on lok cneter

the landlord of no. 14 shop

understood

over there is the boss of sign wo store

the proprietor of wo hap to sweet shop

a vip will visit here in few days

we must ensure his safety

our hostesses all have safety certificate

your hsia kung night club was a techouse

the vip dined there several decades ago

he'll visit it for sure

so call off the burlesque and

make it a folk dance night

let the mamassan act in a drama
and the girls dance flower drum song

change the karaoke to flood fund-raising

change the finger game to cryptic puzzles

the finks go on leave or be killed on sight

sister, a native always has the upper hand

Sorry

Sorry

Sorry

inspector lu, we'll leave for your sake

return to shenzhen to sing

go, go

are you serious?

What do you say?

Let me take you to he chief's room

is it safe?

We have different safety standards

the room is now vacant

but the police will rent it

for the time being

raise your head and see

the surroundings are a bit complex

you'd better post some men up above

and men on each floor too

a group over there and one group above here

a group on the rooftop too, I think

the building opposite may be a bit high,

but it's better to post
one man on each floor

down below should be packed with people

this is safer. Why fuss?

The only way out for safety

can this be arranged?

We went through the crooked route before

after 40 years of the national foundation,
we've made remarkable progress

sports for instance,
political movements excluded

we won three championships
in girl's volley ball

the zero breakthrough of hsu hai-feng

chu chien-hua's world record in high jump

girls swimming team breaking out of Asia

Michael Chang winning the
French open champions

Michael Chang?

He's Chinese

he's born an American

we've made strides in reconstruction too

it includes the yangtze
bridge, mao mausoleum

daya bay nuclear plant
and the yangtze bridge

you mentioned the yangtze bridge before

I repeat it to emphasize its importance

and the great people's
hall and the great wall

the great wall was built by shihuanti

we had it refurbished

and the white swan hotel, honey lake

China tour, China travel service...

Enough, none says anything against you now

but one evil ruins everything

wait a minute

what is it?

Hello, madam,

excuse me a minute

I'm inspector lu of the
royal Hong Kong police

this is my certificate

commissioner Lee kwan-ha
gives you his regards

a colleague of ours contacted you

on renting your room a couple of days ago

ma I come in?

Please do

thank you

are you a broker or a policeman?

Why so weak?

Courtesy is also strength

for the safety of chief chien

that mountain top must be fully guarded

and this woods too

and over here too

put security guards all over

any visible place must be guarded

what about over there?

It depends

you Hong Kong rich are incredible

you're too lazy to walk

and now pay to do it

what costume to wear for this game?

Not necessary. Just play

don't lie. We must have
the necessary accessory

we're serious

just play this way

this way?

How?

Use this club to get the ball into the hole

you mean nostril?

Sheng, don't!

What fun to play like this?

Try and you'll see. It's fun

is that so? This way?

Why are you bleeding in your nose?

It's too windy

good!

You really are good for nothing

I give up. Let's go to tennis court

How's it?

You lied

what?

They do have uniforms

sheng, come over

auntie, why won't you let
me put on your wear?

Sheng, just to protect you

I must try anything new first

to protect you

besides,

you're now wearing
expensive costumes this watch

Inspector lu

Fro the safety of chief chien...

I know. Post more men on this mountain

put more men over there

put more men in this house

put more men on that mountain

not bad

business over, let's play ball

can you play it?

Let's try

sheng, learn

yes

Sheng, you must move around more

am I not moving around enough?
You don't move

the chief's like that

can you two play?

Are you playing ball or dancing?

Everyone had his own style

you must get the ball into my side

What's it?

I give up

as we have different styles

okay

these flowers are beautiful, thanks

in today's lucky draw,

even numbers win; Odds are penalized

the prize is a big snoopy

form Eddie

have you seen

an awkwardly dressed mainland girl?

Only a brilliantly dressed one

welcome

what's so funny?

Why are you dressed like a bridesmaid?

You dated me to a ballroom

we must get dressed up

for the banquet

I didn't know it's a party

I told you not to be so serious

if I didn't, I wouldn't be successful now

you're all crimson,

like blood from a wound

and I'm so well dressed

what are you doing from behind?

I must cover up some of the bare parts

mr li kar-shing will entertain

the chief in secret

look around

tell me your needs

try

applause, please

1, 2, 3, crush!

The kitchen must be properly guarded

the toilet room must be closed from entry

fix closed circuit TV in the toilet

chief chien is old and may pass out

those getting odd numbers
must sing english songs

english songs? It's fun

you're sick again, aunt?

This lucky winner is no.117

no.117, please come up

come on

I don't sing

but must go up to see
the surroundings below

no.117, come up

this way, coming

we must see the surroundings

why two at the same time, 1177?

What english song will you sing, miss?

We're not here to sing

sheng, any english song?

Select one - wind flower

since you like it,

we'll sing wing flower

wind flower,

you two take over

there are man loopholes at the entrance

I can't read some of the words

just roll up your tongue

roll up?

Not shaking this way

Didn't we do it well enough?

What are they up to? Let's go

don't worry, let's draw again

We've an appointment with miss pai

Auntie, who are we supposed to see?

To see his good friend and girlfriend

is the true purpose of his trip to hk

this is a state secret

don't let the hk British know it

it's disgrace

it's beautiful here

luckily this vr handbag.
I carry can match it

Are you miss pai su-Cheng?

Yes, how do you know I live here?

Our public security has
long been computerized

finding you presents no difficulty at all

uncle chien wants me to see you

he said he'd like to see you

no, I can't see him

you're doing well now,

and so is the communist party

it's now the best chance

for a meeting

- fallen asleep?
- No

let me write to explain to him

it's still not time for us to meet

tell him to take care of himself

otherwise, we can achieve nothing

What's this?

A bullet-proof vest

is it okay?

It's for chief chien

for chief chien? I must try

ready, sheng

It's okay

good, reliable

tell chief chien
not to take it off even taking a bath

it's torn!

Let me have a look

this coin has saved me

what's the matter with you?

Sister, a visit for you

come, come

comrade li peng?

No, sister, he's behind you

brother Yung

shih-nan

why are you here?

Sister, he insisted on seeing you.
He's got information

what information?

We've got into
that someone wants to kill chien li

who's chien li?

Hw knows chief chien's visit to hk

and other things we don't know

what do you know?

That chen li flew from Peking to Shanghai

railed from Shanghai to hangchow,

flew from hangchow to canton

then sailed from canton to Hong Kong

why so many different

means of travel?

To keep it a secret

is he coming today or tomorrow?

Not today, not tomorrow,
but day after tomorrow

morning or afternoon?

Noon, to see his old flame

a male or a female?

A female of course, she's pai su-Cheng

pai su-Cheng? Never heard of her

I've only heard of brandts
essence of chicken

pai su-Cheng is her name,

an ex-queen of nan Kai university

because her father is a kuomintang member

she hasn't seen chien li for half a century

the killer is a taiwanese,

now in Hong Kong

our men are investigating

and will tell you once we have news

it's now crucial to stop
chien li from surfacing

it's better to believe it than not

can't we have him put off his trip?

How strange
hk and Taiwan brethren are more concerned

about the motherland's leaders

than we mainland people

this has hitherto been the case

we prayed only 3 minutes
on the death of the hk governor

it anything happens to a Chinese leader

we hk people have to pray for ourselves

yes, if chien were killed by taiwanese

the mainland had an excuse to invade Taiwan

and Taiwan can't hold its own

don't worry. Even a killer won't kill

a powerless

old tennis fun

chien li doesn't deserve death

these years killing has become irrational

the attempts on Reagan, the pope,

John Lennon, Elvis...

Elvis wasn't killed

yes,

he was kill by prestley

isn't beardsley a soccer star?

He's a footballer

no, he's kgb

why should a kmb employee kill Elvis?

Kgb is the Soviet secret police

secret police playing football?

No

Elvis is still alive

still alive? I see

so that foreigner we saw

in the street is Elvis

sister, it was leung sing-po

we're talking about foreigners

how confused you are

a dead cat or live cat,

don't take the killer to be "sick cat"

find the killer if you please

we must protect the committee chairman

sheng, work

you identity has been confirmed by interpol

I'm insp lu of the political branch

you station here with us for the time being

do you understand cantonese?

Of course I do

How could your car carry
so many passengers?

This is secret of the Chinese side

any injury? I've learned first aid. Let me

he's our spy

no, he's out special agent

he's our counter-spy

he gets renminbi each month

he gets my new Taiwan dollar

no, he gets Hong Kong dollar

everybody gets a copy of the info.
The killer is...

A male or female?

A male a female, a female a male

a male and a female
or a female and a male? It's different

dead!

Oh, no!

Not so easy

it's acting

wake up quick!

Wake up, wake up!

Don't pretend to be dead!

Nuts

wait, he said one male and one female

one female and one male

could be one male and one female

one female and one male

one male and one female

one male and one female

one female and one male

one female and one male

one male and one female

first one male and one female,
then one female and one male

fatty, why did you
act against my order last night?

If that thug circulated it

you can't avenge your granddad

we come to Hong Kong to be wasted then

you don't mean to avenge your grandad?

Fatty, can you identify
your grandad's killer?

Enough

after taking revenge, we return to Taiwan

there's not much fun in hk

The killers are

a male and a female

don't get nervous

I'm not, I'm a professional
public security man

okay

you know who's the killer?

I only want to see your looks

I know the killer is now playing

a rat-catches-rat game

cat catching rat

cats and rats are traditional enemies

rats are friends to rats

still talking such nonsense now?

Get me one male and one female now

Mr lu,

we caught one man and one woman
outside the xinhua news agency

is it true?

Escort them in

yes

do you understand cantonese?

No

Sister, seeing you so nervous,

I can't relax

speak now! Answer quick!

Answer us

yes

how do you know
he'd be here day after tomorrow?

How do you know chief
chien would come to hk?

How do you know he didn't fly?

How do you know he came on a container Van?

You really want me to say?

Yes, come on

I know nothing

now you've said it and I know everything

buddy, your behaviour reflects on Taiwan

cooperate with us

if you plan to settle
down in Taiwan in future

the gov't. Will award you nt$10 million

if you don't tell the purpose
of your visit to xinhua news agency

we'll take you
by speedboat to the mainland for trail

you Hong Kong people don't care about

the safety of chief chien.
Aren't you afraid?

Officially, I do care

the hk people have also gone through much

the eight grand old men up north

may die any moment

you can't worry unduly

lock them up to avoid any possible slip

Here we are in Hong Kong?

Yes, uncle chien

Here we are, uncle chien

Uncle chien, take a rest now

count on us for your safety

good

Come on, uncle chien, have some tea

contact Cheng for me at once

I'll make the bed for you

who's it?

Master, it's me - sheng

I know you're excellent at chi kung

will you teach me?

Your esp is powerful

mine doesn't count for much

if we combined,

we'd be invincible

If you yearn for anybody

just concentrate

and transmit the idea to him

I want my auntie
to be free from female diseases

Auntie, may you be young
and sentimental always

and be sweet, gentle and charming

Don't him me often, be coquettish

Be conquettish

Let's retire for a while

What have you done just now?

Sorry

Well, let's do it again

be coquettish

be sentimental

Be coquettish and charming

What are you doing?

Be coquettish

what are you doing? I can't

I can't, I can't

What are you doing?

What am I doing?

This house is haunted

Brother, it was only a misunderstanding
in time and space

I never meant to make passes at you

if you were harassed mentally

I suffer a great wound in heart too

hope it's now over. Goodbye

let me tell you a secret

yes

40 years ago

I had my first sex relation with her

on this beach, mr chien?

Yes, we used heaven
as the blanket and sand as our bed

the moon was our light

we enjoyed our love session

where's shih-nan?

Uncle chien, I know where she's now

she must be putting on her swimwear

over here

Don't fuss. She's used to that

uncle chien, I'll inspect everywhere

what's so funny?

You look special in your bikini

what's so special?

It signifies industry, agriculture and army

don't follow me

Shih-nan, they're laughing
at you behind you

but I won't

in whatever wear

you look beautiful, ladylike

and great

I'll never laugh at you

they're ignorant

Don't be so solemn, auntie

chief chien, you may go up

We greatly enjoyed

our love session here

uncle chien, did you?

Each young one be like that

right

Chief chien has dedicated himself
to revolution for scores of years

never thought he was a great lover too

he braved political risk

to see his old flame

me, I'm a party adherent,

but not strong in feelings

my love life is still blank

only because you've set high standards

don't you know someone's in live with you?

Who can read my heart?

Is he talking to me?

Yes

have I set a high standard?

Why don't" you keep your heart open?

I haven't found a lover yet

why don't' you take me into consideration?

Luckily he cant' hear us

of course, he can't

only people in telepathy can hear it

don't think only you
can have a heart-to-heart talk?

I've heard everything

mr chiang,

girls are as unreliable as the hk gov't

in fact, he's good-looking

shih-nan

did we talk with our hearts?

You seem to like mr lu

mind your speech

I'll call lu ping. You look around here

Auntie Cheng, uncle chien really misses you

if this goes on,
he may be stricken with illness

come with me to see him right away

ok, tell him to go to the same old place

I'll arrange to pick you up right away

chief chien will visit the studio tomorrow

chien and Cheng first met in that studio

he enjoys watching filming,
but it's difficult to protect him

in a complex studio

I've inspected the whole place

what are they filming?

A swordplay epic

you take charge outside, I, inside

to protect him by standing aside

is no good

isn't that too haphazard, sheng?

We must pay more attention to this

auntie...

Yes?

Don't look at me this way

what's wrong with you?
You keep talking back

Start with investigation. Go out quickly

Yung, you go first

go now

the balls on the ear looks like a cancer

only because you chose too slowly

just close the studio and search strictly

why act so mysteriously?

By playing stuntmen

we can watch more clearly

Taiwan brethren may laugh at me

in such a disguise

in olden times

there was no kuomintang
or the communist party

the villa's under your care;

outside it's under ours

idiots, is it worth taking such a big risk

when your boss

won't protect you?

If anything happens to chien,

we may even lose our residency in China

reside in Taiwan

I'm used to tsuen wan

anybody who has co-operated with us knows

that I use different roles to crack a case

formerly modern, now costume

any responsible public security man

won't let this opportunity slip

let me guarantee on my chastity

your personal security after 1997

what if you lose your chastity before 19977

that's your misfortune

stuntmen, get to the rooftop

ok, come on

You move too hard, the house may collapse

nobody's moving, it was your balls

ok, jump

only one mattress?

You've learned
Shaolin martial arts, haven't you?

There are different kinds

I've learned hard skill, not light skill

only one mattress won't work, will it?

Hard skill needs no mattress, right?

So, I need several

get one for her

put more mattresses, more...

Don't worry

put more

can you jump now?

Yes

coming

ok? Do it again if you fail

I'm usually timider

on the 1st of each moon

it was the 1st yesterday

what a coincidence

thank you. Please take a rest

okay

take the camera over there

sit down

See? Try to crouch lower

excuse me for saying so, sir

this is not our orthodox saholin swordplay

you should...

It's getting rusty for
lack of practice. Sorry

any female pupils in the Shaolin temple?

It has changed to co-ed

what co-ed?

It's co-educational

Turn around, ok?

Comedown, body too

make it more powerful and brilliant

again

did I scare you

my light skill is terrific,
so you can't hear

I mean it was not

the way to do it

give a demonstration

okay

What's it?

I've already killed

a flying bird

you're not good enough in internal skill

You make me nervous pacing up and down

let me observe quietly

you know it? Are you a Shaolin man?

Jump up, come down

this is the last. Watch over here

get back your hand

coach

what's it now?

Your poling is not bad,

but it has no name

is that so? Enlighten me

okay

dragon wages tail

Cone country two systems, four insistences

old tree uproots

Guard against right, counter left

fallen leaves under the storm

One center, two basics

the last blow: Mao tse-tung thought

you've even dropped your weapon!

The mao-thought blow is a sure win

the enemy is all killed

let's exchange blows

okay

Stay where you are!

After him!

Halt!

How dare you lay hands
on Chinese public security?

How dare you hit the royal hk police?

How dare you hit interpol
of state security?

Don't!

Chief chien, sir run run wants to see you

it's my personal visit. Don't trouble him

okay

sheng,

this was my rendezvous with Cheng

there were only mountains then

uncle chien,

why such a wilderness for your rendezvous?

That's just like young men

where's your auntie?

Uncle chien, I'm here

what's wrong?

Security is complicated,

but is now all fixed

uncle chien, see the show, over there

help him

Why don't they fight?

They're not good at martial arts

the palming will be
painted on after filming

much as we'd like to,

we're powerless to protect him

what?

Sister, that district
is the democrats' base

those people always go against the gov't

it's ok for them to parade or petition

but what if they take
chief chien hostage to

exchange for jailed Democratic dissidents?

We really are in a tight spot

chien parted with Cheng long ago

he may not

recognize her now

let's get someone to play Cheng

no

We mustn't break the heart
of a sentimental old man

we can't fool him

we won't feel well if we do that to him

don't fool him

besides, communist party members never lie

auntie, yeh hsuan-ping want s to see you

I'm busy. Make an excuse for me

she's got an abortion, can't come

uncle chien, let me read the news to you

China insists on

own style socialism

to continue with reforms and open policy

and resolutely oppose
bourgeois liberalization

enough, too borning

read some light news

what about sports news?

Beijing beats Shanghai 2-0,

hunan beats hupei 3-1

shansi and shantung draw;

liaoning-szechwan match
adjourned due to rain

our newspapers are comprehensive

they're best for wrapping

read hk newspapers to me

hk newspapers? They
stress counter-revolution

and full of sex and violence.
They're no good

there must be something interesting

read this passage

a Ridge of low pressure
extends to the south

forecast: Cloudy, south-easterly wind

with intermittent rains and sunshine

east wins over west;
The whole day's weather is fickle

guard against right,
but most important, oppose left

are you out of your mind?

May I come in?

Yes

sit down

Mr chien, for the sake of your safety

I hope you'll cancel your trip

shih-nan has given me the same advice

I came from afar

I won't give up without seeing her

you still have a chance

don't tell me to wait!

Till I can't see, hear clearly

and can't walk?

It means not seeing her then

while I'm still in good health

and can speak, joke, embrace...

Uncle chien, you must be joking

I'm serious

let's go in and sit down

Why are you

shilly-shallying?

On behalf of our other staff
getting no British residency

I petition of chief chien

lobbying?

Why petition?

Please don't persecute us after 1997

hk is ruled by hk people after 1997.
There's no persecution

we only want to maintain the status quo

no problem for 50 years without change

ours is a sensitive line

we want no subsequent retaliation

you're too sensitive

we act on orders only

I've done nothing against
China and its people

I only took part in the millions parade

I thought it was walk for a million

I use Chinese products

look, the goose brand

your turn

done anything against
the country and people?

Review yourself

tell him about it

and get a mitigation

you can be a postman after 1997

that year I fought for hk team

against China in world cup

I got one goal,

elimination the Chinese team out of Asia

I repent over it now

I'll play one match

for China

to make amends after 1997

make amends

finished? Your turn

chief chien, my name is szeto wah

when my dad gave me this name

he didn't know there is another szeto wah

please transmit this
plea to the upper levels

that I'm not that szeto wah. That's all

it's not right for you
hk people to play along

remember what deng xiaoping said

black or white cat,
one that catches rates is a good one

if you can make money
and do good to the country

and Tom, dick or Harry makes no difference

quiet!

I know how you Taiwan and
hk brethren feel now

over the years
our country did something unpopular

the incidents of 1989, 98 less 12 less 32

are horrible and undesirable

you've figured wrong

should be 54 plus 10

I understand your disappointment and panic

don't ever give up hope

don't ask what your
country has done for you

ask what you've done for your country

chief chien, we're only
on a peaceful petition

we don't do anything dangerous

listen,

democracy should be fought for

but our party is liberal

don't fight for it, we'll give it

how much do you want? We'll give it to you

Ready? Please

hold it! Someone wants to see uncle chien

uncle chien dosen't know it

it's all right. She's his girlfriend

that moron beside her

could be uncle chien's grandson

is he?

All get in, please

what do you think of my looks?

Okay

mr chien, among Chinese leaders

you're the most handsome and adorable

uncle chien, - where's Cheng?

Over here

excuse me, let me have a look at this

okay

He fancies these

Keep away from the old men's affairs

go out

let's go out together

you, too, go out

you, too

I protect you here

don't worry. We won't do anything dangerous

don't tell them you told me to go out

you wouldn't want to disrupt our meetings?

I won't, take your time

thrown out?

No, I come out by myself

do you still remember tsai?

The one who fell madly in love with you

please come in, lady

thank you

mr chien only wants to see you alone

uncle chien

it's her

it's been a long time

take your time

so they say

distance won't

keep love away

I agree

why's it dead silent inside?

Watch your language,

inspector lu

you made bad remarks

about the orphan

in the drama we saw last night on TV

it's a drama. Why take it so serious?

But "the old man and the
sea" is a bit too long

I've put a souvenir in your handbag

give it to me so I'll give it to mr chien

I forgot

what do you want?

I want my husband's grandson to avenge him

don't hurt Cheng

if I don't, I would be breaking your heart

then I lose the only chance

of being happy in all these years

tell the two men outside to come in

Yung, lu, come in

why not me?

It concern men only

Are you possessed?

I'm practicing chi kung

you have esp. Why practice that?

He told me to teach him sex chi kung

what?

It may forfeit your virgin skill

can sex chi kung save the country?

I've think of myself too

it's not worth being a
virgin for the country

is it a loss of face?

You want to get married too

that's another thing

after getting married,
you can still be a virgin

a wedding banquet is most important

if you practice the sex chi kung...

What if you get a retarded child!

Child, how many fingers?

Five

great!

How many fingers now?

Say it

ten

right

don't worry, let's die together

Don't let him die

hush! Try to open the handcuffs

can't

please don't provoke me any more

you make me

hate men all my life

this is not your 1st time

don't do that to me

shut up! Say it again
and I'll gun them down

child, what's in the pocket?

I must take them all away

no

Uncle chien hates seeing these

you know who's uncle chien?

Seen him in the news?

No way

Let's go

promise not to

see me again, will you?

Let's try to save now

as of now I'll hate Hong Kong men

Have you tried my Shaolin magnetic hand?

Fatty, my turn

Don't move!

Let him go or I'll kill him with one shot

uncle chien

after my death, spray my ashes over hk

the happiest moment in my life in hk

you carry a torch but he doesn't love you

shih-nan, let her shoot

I'm already 85, I don't mind

many men carry a torch

tho' I don't love them

am I to die then?

He won't live long even
if you don't kill him

don't!

Thanks for saving my life

all right

uncle chien, are you all right?

Yes, treat her well

well, let's go out

are you okay?

Are you okay too?

Yes

go in and put things straight

Sheng, where have you been?

One of the keys fatty used to hit people

can open any lock

we're rich!

Don't cry

we'll meet again soon

really?

Yes

I'll come to see you tomorrow

not so soon

let's see again in six months if you do can

take care

goodbye - goodbye

goodbye - goodbye

goodbye - goodbye

goodbye

Inspector lu, pleasant co-operation

pleasant co-operation

I know your concern
the political branch is being dissolved

the good news
is your residency in China has been fixed

come to me any time if you're interested

thank you

there's something I don't understand

I get admiration each time

I come down on business

I didn't lie. Look at Yung

this time you seem to
have no interest in me

maybe I do,

but I didn't tell you

is that so?

One thing is:

Are you always so tomboyish?

No, I have my gentle side

but our systems are different

well, see you

brethren, thanks for your hospitality

our open door policy will continue

we count on your support. Goodbye

goodbye, chien li, take care of yourself

shih-nan, shih-nan

goodbye

shih-nan