Beethoven's 5th (2003) - full transcript

( Gasps )

Beethoven!

- ( Burps )
- Come here.

I'm sorry. Beethoven,
what's the matter?

My lunch wasn't enough?

Oh look, Beethoven.

I guess this is Quicksilver,

which is in the middle of...

oh, what's the word?

Nowhere.

I sure hope they have
indoor plumbing.



I know, I know,

we're a long way from home,

and we've got a long month
ahead of us.

What are we gonna do all summer?

There's no mall, no movies,

and we don't know anyone
except Uncle Freddy.

And we haven't seen him
in, like, forever.

You know what this adds up to?

- Disaster.
- ( Beethoven barks )

Driver: You watch
your step now, little lady.

Have a nice day.

Somebody meeting you, hon?

Um, yeah, my uncle's
supposed to pick me up.

- He should be here any minute.
- How nice.



Maybe I know him.
What's his name?

Freddy.
Freddy Kablinski.

( laughs )
Freddy Kablinski?

( laughs loudly )
Freddy!

( Horn blaring )

( Siren approaches )

Sara?
Sara Newton?

You're 12 minutes late.

Whoa!
What happened to you?

Last time I saw you,
you were a toddler.

- I was six.
- Well, whatever. Hey, listen, sorry I'm late.

I was working on this baby
and I kinda lost track of time.

Here, give me that bag.

Seems like I've got to
tune it up every third fire.

Mom didn't tell me
you're a firefighter.

For good reason... I'm not.
I'm a grease monkey.

A certified mechanic.

Whoa!
Is that the dog?

- ( Barks )
- This is Beethoven.

Come on, Beethoven.
Here, Beethoven, come on.

Come to Freddy.
Come on and say hi. Come on.

- ( Barks )
- No! Whoa!

Beethoven...

don't lick Uncle Freddy. You
don't know where he's been.

Have you ever considered
a face lift?

Maybe just shorten these
a little bit? A little tuck?

- Get this wolfhound off me.
- He's a Saint Bernard.

- The drool, please! Get him off! Come on!
- Come on, Beethoven.

So, Sara, kicked out of
camp, huh? ( chuckles )

Way to go, I got kicked
out of college twice.

I wasn't kicked out.

They asked me to leave.

Oh, excuse me. Oh,
yeah, right, "asked to leave."

And just exactly why
were you asked to leave?

They wanted me to use
an outhouse.

Do you know what that is?

A bathroom that's
on the outside?

It's a toilet seat
on a hole in the ground.

So you got sentenced to 30 days
hard time at Camp Freddy, huh?

Uncle Freddy,
do you need glasses?

( Groans )

Freddy: And welcome
to "Camp Freddy."

We got a whole month together

before your parents
get back from Hawaii.

Sara:
They're in the Bahamas.

Freddy: Palm trees and
coconuts, close enough.

It's okay, Beethoven,
you can go on in.

Remember to wipe your feet.

Come on. Grab the mail
for me, would you?

Sure.

Huh? Uncle Freddy,
I didn't do it.

Oh, it's okay.
Go on inside.

Somebody clipped
my mailbox again.

What kind of idiot
can't see a mailbox?

I've got to call
the sheriff about this.

I'd throw his butt in jail
is what I'd do.

Beethoven?

Oh, no!

What have you done?

You've only been here 30 seconds

and you've already
trashed the place!

Beethoven!

We're gonna get
kicked out of here too.

( Burps )

Sorry about the kitchen.

- Is something wrong?
- Well, it's kind of a mess.

Oh, yeah, I'm sorry about that, I should
have cleaned up before you got here.

You mean, you did this,
not Beethoven?

Why, is he a messy dog
or something?

It depends on what
you call messy.

Hey, no big deal.

I'll take care of this.
Just wait here one sec.

Boy, can't wait to see my room.

Okay, Sara, grab a wall.

Sara:
Oh! Uncle Freddy.

Oh!

I put the linoleum in
so I could do this.

Sara:
Watch out, Beethoven!

This is a side benefit, I guess,
for tuning up that fire truck.

Uncle Freddy, I already
took a shower!

- Your mom never thought of this.
- Beethoven, stay back!

Watch out, Beethoven.

And this is how
I do my counters.

Sara:
Beethoven!

Pretty clean, huh?

So, what do you usually
have for breakfast at home?

Mom says as far as
nutrition is concerned,

breakfast is the most
important meal of the day.

You've got to have milk,

and fruit, and protein.

Okay, coming right up.

( Barks )

There you go.

This is breakfast?

Fruit, milk, and protein...
just like you asked for.

Uncle Freddy,
it's a banana split.

I think I'll have some of
your bran flakes, if I may.

Bran flakes... okay, sure.

I don't see an expiration date
on this, so it should be okay.

Say when.

When.

It's a shame to see all
that ice cream go to waste.

Freddy: Mmm.

( laughing )

Hey, look at this.
Who needs a maid?

That floor will never be safe
for trash again.

I should have got a dog
a long time ago.

Freddy:
That's it, that's it, good.

A little to the left,
a little to the left.

Good. Steady, steady.

- Sara: Watch out, Beethoven.
- Freddy: Whoa!

Ahh!
You are a natural.

Don't you have any work to do?

Well, the great thing
about being your own boss is,

nobody tells you
when to come in,

you can have lunch
whenever you like,

and, best of all,

you can have creeper
races whenever you want.

- Come on, give it a try.
- I don't know.

Come on, it'll be fun, try it.

Um... no thanks,
it looks dangerous.

All right, you know what?

Sometimes you've got to just
jump in without your floaties.

Watch.

- Watch it, Uncle Freddy!
- ( barking )

Sara: Oh, watch out!

- Freddy!
- Boy: Strike!

( Clapping )
I scored that jump a 10.

- Hey, yeah it was, wasn't it?
- Awesome.

- Uncle Freddy are you okay?
- You guys wanna hang out, or something?

No, I can't. I gotta put shocks
on that Caddy over there.

But you guys should
definitely hang out.

- Hi, I'm Garrett.
- Hi, I'm Sara.

You're very tall
for an eight-year-old.

- Eight-year-old?
- Okay, so I was off a coupla years?

- ( Beethoven growls )
- Hey, is that your dog?

Yeah, this is Beethoven.

You know, Saint Bernards are
known for their psychic abilities.

Well, he is pretty smart.

Aren't you boy?

Hey, kids, you wanna see
something funny?

- ( Burps )
- ( both laugh )

Not that.
Watch this.

- Beethoven sit.
- ( can crumples )

Now does that dog
got style or what?

- ( Barks )
- Hey, wait, I got an idea.

Why don't you two kids
go grab some lunch, huh?

Now, Garrett, you
can take Sara into town

and show her the sights, okay?

- We have sights?
- I mean, you want a free lunch, or what?

- ( Beethoven groans )
- Yeah.

I don't think Mom would
want me to go without you.

Especially with a stranger.

He may be strange, but
he's not a stranger, okay?

He's the smartest kid in town.

- Now go have a good time. I'll take care of things here.
- Come on, let's go.

- Stay with him, Beethoven.
- I'll stay with Beethoven.

He can help me fix the Caddy,
right Beethoven?

- Oh, you like GM products?
- ( barks )

Quicksilver, huh?

Guess this used to be
a silver mining town.

Um, not really.
Mercury, actually.

- Really?
- Yeah.

It was a surprise to the
miners who came out here, too.

They were looking for gold
but hit mercury ore instead.

Quicksilver is slang for
mercury. You knew that right?

Uh, makes perfect sense.

But it turns out mercury's
pretty dangerous.

- It affects the brain's neural function.
- Like how?

You'll see.

Hello, Owen.
How's it going?

It's dry, too dry.

- Mercury, huh?
- That's Owen Tuttle, all right.

He thinks the polar
ice caps are gonna melt

and we'll have to
learn to live underwater.

He goes to the lake
every day to practice.

Hey, Garrett!
Come in here!

Morning, Phil.

That's Phil Dobson. He loves
gambling, but always loses.

He owes everyone in town money.

You want to play some poker?

Mr. Dobson, Your wife said I wasn't
allowed to play with you anymore.

She doesn't have to know.
Let me try and win

my computer back from you, okay?
I need it for inventory.

- I promised your wife I wouldn't play with you.
- That's so unfair.

Hey, what about you?
You're not a local, are you?

You like to gamble?
What's your game?

- No, I don't gamble.
- I'll play anything...

rummy, blackjack, war, go fish.

I just like a game.
I'll play you for that blender.

- I don't need a blender.
- How about this nice electric toothbrush?

Okay, I'll play you
one game of Candyland

- for this nice electric toothbrush.
- No, thanks. Bye!

Uh... hi.

Man:
Never saw her before.

- You?
- Nope. She's not local.

Dresses kind of funny.
Big city, I think.

That's Freddy's niece,
isn't it? She'll come around.

- Yeah, okay. See you later.
- She will.

Phil:
Talk to her, huh?

This town is going to the dogs.

Getting too uptown
for my likings.

That's the Carter family.
They're just plain weird.

- ( Beethoven barks )
- ( car horn honks )

- Hey, get in, get in! It's an emergency!
- Where are we going?

Pete called... the fish
are biting. Come on.

Freddy: Hey, feel
those new shocks.

It rides like butter, huh?

Sara: Uncle Freddy, don't people
mind you borrowing their cars?

Freddy: I like to think of
it as more of a test drive.

Sara: Where I come
from it's called "stealing."

Freddy:
Ha-ha, very funny.

- All right, kids, we're here. Everybody out.
- ( car backfires )

- Follow the leader and watch your step.
- For what?

- Rattlesnakes and mine shafts.
- Garrett: And ghosts.

( Scoffs )
Right.

Hey, everybody knows
these woods are haunted.

Come on, nobody
believes in ghosts.

Freddy: Oh, everybody
knows there's ghosts out here.

At night, you can hear them
whistling in the mine shafts.

- Whoo-hoo-hoo!
- Uncle Freddy?

- Hmm?
- I think I'm gonna puke.

It's just chicken liver.
Look, it appeals to Beethoven.

Everything appeals to Beethoven

- even toilet water.
- Whoa!

- Got a bite!
- All right, reel it in.

Is that a fish?

- Whoa.
- I think I've got a big one!

- ( Barks )
- Easy does it!

All right, you've got it
Garrett! Don't let it go!

Freddy: All right,
we got dinner tonight!

- Look at that baby!
- Ee-yew!

- Get it away from me.
- Look at that! Is that a dandy or what?

Sara: Ooh, there's
no way I'm eating that.

- Stay away from it, Beethoven!
- Garrett: Whoa!

Ee-yew!

A genuine gronas nigrilabris.

Translation:
catfish.

I told you he was the
smartest kid in Quicksilver.

( Screaming )
Uncle Freddy, what is it?

Freddy:
Hey, It's Owen.

Kids, always give
a frogman a hand.

How's the weather down there?

It's wet. Too wet.

Gosh, we never
would have guessed.

- Is everyone in this town crazy?
- Both: Not us!

Beethoven!
Come back, boy!

Oh, he's probably off chasing
a rabbit. Don't worry about it.

Or maybe he's chasing a ghost?

Yeah, I'll believe it
when I see it.

Garrett: My grandfather
saw the ghost himself

when he was a kid.

He and his buddies
were camping by the lake

when they came right at them.

They left so fast,
they forgot the tent.

And when they came back later
it was all shredded up.

Oh, stop it, Garrett.

There's no such thing as ghosts.

You know, Sara,
sometimes spirits get trapped

in this world
and can't find their way out.

Scientists,
with all their gobbledygook,

they just can't figure
it out either.

( Rustling )

- Sara: What was that?
- Freddy: It's Beethoven!

- Freddy: Come here! Here, boy! Come here!
- Sara: What's he got?

Freddy: Hey, you
gotta love that dog.

He goes into the woods
and comes back with money!

Anymore where
that came from, boy?

- Can I keep it?
- Yeah, I don't see why not. It looks old.

Hey, go get us all some
more money, Beethoven.

- Yeah!
- Buckets of it!

- Right?
- Yeah!

Yeah!

- ( Toilet flushes )
- ( water running )

- ( Hammering )
- ( pipes clanging )

( Knocking )

Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention,

- the bathroom's upstairs.
- Yeah, we heard.

Well, good night.
Don't let the bedbugs bite.

- Uh, Uncle Freddy?
- Yeah?

You don't really have
bedbugs, do you?

No, not anymore.

- Beethoven, this is gonna be a long month.
- ( barks )

So, I decided at that point
to give up

on a career with the NBA,

and then I stopped eating
for height

and started eating
for pure girth.

Give me the seven-eights,
would ya?

Thanks.

You know, I think I'm gonna
save a lot of money

on lubrication
with you around here.

( Tires screeching )

Three, two, one...

- ( siren wails )
- Right on cue.

That, Beethoven, is the number
one moneymaker in this town:

the speed trap
on Quicksilver Drive.

Out-of-towners think they can
just blast through here at any speed.

And then they meet the sheriff.

Nine times out of 10
some yokel's at the wheel

and he'll think he can handle
her just 'cause she's a woman.

Perfect.
She's a chick.

License and registration.

Darlin', what did I do wrong?

It's Sheriff Dempsey.
License?

Well, you gotta hope that he
doesn't start out by calling her "honey."

Honey, we can work this out!

Sweet thing like you...

Ow! Ow!
Ow! Ow!

Yes! It's a takedown!
Oh, yeah!

- ( laughs )
- ( barks )

Ohhh!

Don't you scratch an
itch until I tell you to.

Yes, sir... ma'am!
I mean, ma'am! Oww!

No, Beethoven, you do not want
to mess with the sheriff.

See that right there?
That's her dad, "The Equalizer!"

Yes, he was the greatest wrestler
to ever mash a face into the mat.

"The Equalizer!"

Uncle Freddy?
What are you doing?

Just a little wrestling
talk between the guys,

me and Beethoven,
you know, sports fans.

So, what's up?

Um, me and Beethoven wanted to
go check out some stores nearby.

Good, fine.
Well, have fun.

- And behave yourself.
- We will.

- So long, Beethoven.
- Come on, Beethoven.

Come on, Beethoven. Let's
check this place out. It looks friendly.

- Get that Bigfoot out of here.
- Sorry.

Come on, boy.
Come on.

Oh, did that big elephant
scare you, Baby Cakes?

You stay here, okay?
I won't be long.

Come back here, Baby Cakes!
Listen to Mommy.

You know, little girl,
this is a locals' store.

And you're no local. What
are you doing in Quicksilver?

I'm visiting my Uncle Freddy.

- Freddy Kablinski?
- The grease monkey?

He's a mechanic.

A certified mechanic.

Do you have any samples?

What does this look
like, Saks Fifth Avenue?

Look, I've got surveillance
cameras all over this place.

So don't even think about
stuffing your pockets.

I guess I can charge
you the "local" price.

- $7.41.
- ( cash register rings )

What do you think,
I was born yesterday?

- What?
- Oh, I see...

The big-city folk are
coming to Quicksilver

to make the local yokels
look silly, right?

This is phony, counterfeit...

- funny money.
- Really... I didn't know.

Didn't know?
Hmm.

Everyone knows that
Hamilton is on the 10s

and Andrew Jackson
is on the 20s.

There it is, Andrew Jackson,
clear as day.

Issued in 1920.

Um... I'm sorry!

I better be going now!

I'll bring back
real money. Bye!

1920?

Come on, boy.

Let's get out of here.

So you say Alexander Hamilton's
supposed to be on the 10, huh?

Uh-uh, and Andrew Jackson's
on the 20.

Hmm, well, we'll see about that.

Oh, I guess you have to have money
before you can spot counterfeit bills.

- We better go to the bank.
- Wait.

- Here you go.
- Oh. Thank you, Mr. Gates.

I won it
from Mr. Dobson.

You know, it pains me
to admit that Evie Kling

might be right about anything,
but guess what?

- She is right.
- It was so humiliating.

Maybe we should just
turn this into the sheriff.

I say, ignore law
enforcement. Let's keep it.

Yeah. No, no we better
go to the sheriff.

As long as Beethoven doesn't get
in trouble for passing funny money.

Freddy: Oh, I don't think they
have room for him in the big house.

Come on, let's go.

Radio:
Central, this is Unit Four...

- Hey, Jim, is the sheriff in?
- She's right there.

Thank you. Oh, hey!

Oh, hey, Freddy. This must
be your niece, the counterfeiter.

I didn't know, honest.

- Sara, this is Sheriff Dempsey.
- Call me Julie.

- Hey, hey, who's the thief?
- Sara: Beethoven!

- Partners in crime, huh?
- Sorry.

- He's kind of a bottomless pit.
- ( burps )

You can relax, Sara.
You were paying with real money.

- Well, look.
- I know, looks strange.

But come here.
Come here, check this out.

I did a little web surfing.

You see? There were
Andrew Jackson $10 bills.

- Really?
- It says here, the first ones rolled off the press in 1914,

and they stopped
sometime in the late '20s.

- Did you say 1920?
- Um-hmm.

This bill is very rare.

Collectors will pay anywhere
from $50 to $200 a bill.

Let me see that.

Oh, yeah.
There it is right there.

1920 in black and white.

- Garrett: Whoa.
- I don't get it.

What's the big deal
about the 1920s anyway?

It it true? Is it really
"Rita and Moe" money?

That money is mine.

She snatched it out
of my hand after I agreed

to sell her some
of my finest lip gloss.

- It was in my hand, issued in the year 1920.
- Where'd it come from?

It wasn't me,
it was him, Beethoven.

- Nice doggie.
- Come here to Mommy.

- Oh, yes.
- Do you want to come home with Uncle Stu?

Will somebody please
tell me what's going on?

Well, Sara, it's all about
the history of our fair town.

Hiram Berkin's mine produced
more pure mercury

than the rest of
the country put together.

Millions of teeth have been
filled and temperatures taken

because of our little burg
right here.

You know, the mine was
open until about 15 years ago.

Then those troublemakers from
the FDA started spreading those lies.

You know it's a medical urban
myth that mercury is poisonous.

I use it all the time, I'm fine.

Oh, but our biggest
claim to fame came back in 1926.

We made all the papers then.

- You know why, Sara?
- Why?

Ah, come here, I'll show you.

The famous Moe and Rita Selig.

They were bank robbers
like Bonnie and Clyde.

Well, not exactly
like Bonnie and Clyde.

They were more accomplished
than Bonnie and Clyde.

They just never got a
movie made about them.

Rita and Moe,
"The Courteous Crooks."

The Seligs were know as
The Courteous Crooks because

they would always say "please"
right before they robbed you blind.

- ( laughs ) - And of course
there's the red carnation.

Moe always pulled it
from his lapel

and left it behind
after a heist.

But they never hurt anyone.

Yeah.
They must have robbed,

I don't know,
12 banks across the Midwest

before the cops ever caught up
with them. Guess where, Sara?

- Quicksilver!
- Quicksilver, bingo! That's exactly right.

Cops chased them right into
Quicksilver Lake and...

...they drowned.

It was a black day
for Rita and Moe.

- Harold: Found the car...
- Garrett: But they never found the stolen money.

Absolutely right, Garrett. Not that
everybody and his brother didn't look for it.

So you can see why
we're all going nuts.

It seems like Beethoven
has done what nobody's

been able to do
in the last 80 years.

Do you really think Beethoven
found some of Rita and Moe's lost loot?

What else could it be? I mean,
how many Jackson $10 bills

do think are just lying around
in the middle of the woods?

Yeah. Hey, wouldn't
it be cool

if Beethoven could
find some more?

Yeah, if he's not afraid
of ghosts.

- ( Growls )
- Oh, come on.

Oh, it's been rumored for
years, Sara, that the ghosts

of Moe and Rita
haunt those woods,

protecting their money
ever since they drowned.

- It's true.
- Please.

I never believed it myself,
but I gotta tell you something...

something weird happened to me
out there a few years ago.

I was squirrel hunting
in the woods,

and all of a sudden I knew
that somebody was following me.

And here it was,
the middle of the summer,

and yet this icy wind
blew right through me.

Even my dog started howling.

But there was nobody there.

And it's a proven fact
that dogs howl

when ghosts are around.

Dogs also howl at fire engines.

Well, Harold, we really enjoyed
this little walk through history, but...

we don't want to take up any
more of your valuable time.

Come on, kids, let's go.

- Thanks a lot, Harold.
- Bye.

- Bye, Mr. Herman.
- Come back anytime.

You too, big fella.

My door is always open.

Sara: Hurry, let me out of here.

Ride's over, you survived.

Next time,
I get the front, okay?

It's just as creepy up front.

You think it's creepy now, you should
have seen it when they brought it in.

Come on.

Okay, Beethoven, you get
a good whiff of this 10 spot

and you lead me to its little
brothers and sisters. Okay, go!

Sara: Why are we
going at night again?

Freddy: So no one will see
us looking for the money.

- He's gonna do it.
- He's better than a lottery ticket.

- Attaboy!
- Freddy: Come on, boy. Use your smeller, feller.

- ( Growling )
- What is it, boy?

Sara:
What's that?

I don't like it, Uncle Freddy.

Probably just a possum.

Sara:
That's no possum.

- Stu?
- Freddy?

What are you doing out
here in the middle of the night?

Oh, just, uh...
enjoying the walk.

With a metal detector?

Well, you'd be surprised some
of the things you can find in woods

and tonight I hit the jackpot.

How about this fork?

You know, you can never,
ever have enough forks.

One buck and it's yours.

The weird thing is,
I happen to have

more forks than I need
right now, so,

you have a nice night, okay?

Oh, listen, Freddy...

- I was never here.
- You can count on that.

He is not out here
looking for silverware.

I got a bad feeling
about this, kids.

Beethoven...

- take us to the dough!
- ( barks )

- All right.
- Come on, boy.

Sara: You don't think this is
a wild goose chase, do you?

Garrett: No, Saint
Bernards can smell a person

- buried under 20 feet of snow.
- Really?

( Growling )

- Freddy?
- Vaughan?

- What are you doing out here?
- I was going to ask you the same thing.

- We're looking for money...
- Mush-mushrooms! We're looking for mushrooms.

Come on, kids.
Owen...

You find anything in the lake?

Water, lots of water.

The lake is mine.
Stay out of it.

( Growls )

Who's that girl?
She's not local.

- That's my niece.
- I don't trust her.

- ( Beethoven barks )
- Come on, Carters.

Freddy: Well, I think this town
could use some non-locals.

You know, spruce up
the gene pool a little?

- Garrett: Now what?
- Freddy is that you?

- Sheriff Julie?
- I heard there was some treasure hunting going on,

so I figured I'd better
make sure nobody got hurt.

You got that right. This place
is a real madhouse tonight.

Actually, I'm glad
I ran into you, Freddy.

My car's been acting up again.

Twice around the odometer,
what're you gonna do?

Oh, bring it in. I'd be happy
to give you a tune up anytime.

Well... uh, I mean,
I mean your car.

( Chuckles )
Right, great.

I'll drop it by first thing in the
morning. You take care now.

- Sure.
- Uncle Freddy!

I didn't know you were
sweet on Julie.

- Am not.
- He sure is.

Admit it, you like her.

- Do not.
- Do too.

- Do not.
- Do too.

All right, that's it, I don't want to
discuss this. Come on, let's go home.

- ( Growling )
- Come on, boy.

- ( Howls )
- Uh, Uncle Freddy?

Uncle Freddy?

Sara:
What is it?

( Screams )

- What's wrong, Sara?
- What is it?

I saw them, the ghosts... Rita
and Moe... they were right there.

- What's going on?
- Sara just saw the ghosts.

They're over there!

Beethoven!

Beethoven, come back!

- Freddy: Sara, wait!
- Sara: Somebody get him!

Stay, stay here. Stay right
here. Don't go anywhere.

- Garrett: It's Moe's carnation.
- ( howls )

Julie:
Somebody's up to no good.

( Door creaking )

( Gasps )

Shhh!

( Screams )

Maybe camp wasn't that bad.

Hold on a moment, there are
no ghosts. You said so yourself.

You said there were... "Spirits
can get trapped in this world."

Well, I was kidding, okay?

A little thing
adults do for fun.

Okay, maybe it wasn't
that funny.

But the point is, I mean,
there could be a million reasons

why that carnation was
out in the woods last night.

What? Somebody dropped it
on their way to the prom?

Ooh, a little teenage
attitude here, huh?

It would be if I was a teenager,
but I'm only 12.

Plus, I saw them, clear as day.

Half the town was in the woods
last night, Sara, come on.

And what about Beethoven?
He was howling.

Dogs howl when they're
around ghosts.

Dogs also howl at fire engines.
Look, the point is

we've got to stay
focused here, Sara.

I mean there is big money at stake
here, and we have the only key.

Thirds?

Oh, man, you really are
milking it, aren't you, pal?

Okay.

Sara: So what's up with
you and Sheriff Julie?

There's no story there.

She's way out of my league.

Come on, that's not true.

You should ask her out.

- Well, actually, I...
- ( doorbell rings )

Saved by the bell.

Good morning.
Good morning!

Oh, how... shabby.
( laughs )

Hello, dearie, how are you?
Come with me.

I brought a present
for you, dear.

A welcome-to-Quicksilver
present.

That's how we locals are...
friendly.

- Lip gloss galore.
- Oh, thank you.

Where's Beethoven? I thought he and
Baby Cakes could share some quality time.

They got along
so well the other day.

- Beethoven?
- Oh, yes, of course. They're just like soul mates.

Baby Cakes would like us all
to take a big long walk together!

( Gasps ) Oh, oh!
( shrieks )

Baby Cakes!
She's just playing hard to get.

Come back, sweetie.
Listen to Mommy.

Sweetheart, come back.
What did Mommy do wrong?

Oh! This isn't
the plan.

Baby Cakes, Beethoven will think
you don't like him.

- Yeah, I can see they get along just great.
- Baby Cakes!

Freddy: Okay, so a few
people know about the money.

It's not the end of the world.

We just have to lay low and not
attract any undue attention.

- Got it? Good boy.
- Greetings, canine!

- Hey, Beethoven!
- Hey, Beethoven, where's the loot?

- Hey, big dog. Woof, woof!
- Woman: Hey, Beethoven, you rock!

Oh, brother.
Well, so much for laying low.

Yoo-hoo, Beethoven!
Want to come over and play?

Oh, yeah.
Beethoven's great, isn't he?

Don't you just love him?

Aren't you Mr. Popular, maybe
you ought to run for mayor.

- Come out and visit!
- Hey, puppy.

Maybe I ought to start drooling
and people would wave at me.

Beethoven,
say "cheese."

- Nice smile.
- ( sighs )

Hey, wait, don't I get
to buy anything here?

- ( Barks )
- Oh, good idea, Beethoven.

We'll do a little cleaning.
That'll make Sara happy.

Ahh, finally we agree
on something.

( laughs )
Oh, what was I thinking?

All right, how's that Beethoven?

( Sighs )

Julie.

Okay, look cool,
stay calm, act natural.

I should go over there
and talk to her.

No, she's not going
to want to talk to me.

No, Beethoven.

Stop.

Most people would have
just said hello.

Hello.

- Aw, what a mess!
- I'm sorry.

You'll have to forgive him,
it's his first time shopping.

So, uh... when'd you
become a wrestling fan?

Oh, since your dad took down
"Titus the Terminator" in Houston.

Boy, I mean, what a takedown.

That was absolutely brilliant.

"Defy the Equalizer
and be equalized!"

Wow, you really are a fan.

Yeah, well, you know.

I nearly cried when he
lost the championship

to "The Bricklayer" in
Memphis, I mean, oh, man.

I did not sleep for a week.

You know it was
all scripted, right?

Yeah, I know,

but I was just
a little kid, you know?

What does a little kid know?

Oh, remember this?

"The Equalizer
Death Grip." Yeah!

- Oh that's a good one. Do you remember this?
- Oh!

- "Gentleman Jim"?
- Yeah.

- Sorry.
- Oh, no, no, no, really. I was impressed.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Well, I think maybe...
- ( cell phone ringing )

Oh, sorry, I've got to get this.

Sheriff. Yeah?

- Julie: Right.
- Nice try, big fella.

It's pretty simple.

One talisman for you,
one for me.

Salt for you, salt for me.

Nettle for you, nettle for me.

Pa-kua for you, pa-kua for me.

We now have maximum
ghost protection.

I don't think Mom would want me
to go. She'd want me to stay home.

Wait, I forgot to give you
the most important thing...

"the Peruvian
Crystal."

Wow.
What is it again?

It's the Peruvian Crystal. It's
from the lost city of Machu Picchu.

Not only does it ward
off ghosts,

it also protects
you against all danger.

Just remember, it's got
to be on you at all times.

But what if something
goes wrong?

Come on, you've got to come.

You coming?

We need you.

All right, kids, I've got
your flashlights right here.

- Freddy, what do you have for dinner?
- Nothing.

- ( Sniffing ) I don't smell anything.
- Yeah, I smell garlic.

- What is that?
- ( growling )

Oh, you big traitor!

Okay, sure, I've got a little garlic here
just as insurance to keep the ghosts away.

- Come on, let's go.
- I thought you didn't believe in ghosts.

And, garlic's for vampires.

They have vampires?

Okay, Beethoven,
get a good whiff of this

and then show me the money.

Freddy: I'm smelling a Ferrari
and a liquid plasma TV, come on.

( Growls )

Sara:
What is it, boy?

( Whines )

- Do you see that?
- Yeah, maybe we ought to hold on a second.

- And come on back tomorrow.
- Exactly.

- They're coming for us!
- Go, go, go, go!

- ( Barking )
- Beethoven!

Beethoven, get back here!

Beethoven!
Whoa! Oh!

What the...?

Oh, man, I cannot believe...

Uncle Freddy, what
are you doing up there?

Oh, I'm just hanging
upside down 'cause I like it.

- Hold on a second. Don't worry, I got it.
- Get me down!

- I got rope burns on my butt.
- I'll cut you down.

What am I, a sack of potatoes?

Garrett... no, no, no.

Garrett, do not cut...

( grunts )
- -the rope.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine.

- What's with Beethoven?
- ( barking )

Come on!

Help me! Help!

Come get this tank off of me!

Come on, Beethoven.
Off, off, off, off.

Here. Cora?

- That's Crazy Cora.
- Cora: Freddy?

- Why is she crazy?
- Cora: Are you out of your mind?

Those aliens could
abduct that young little girl

just the way they did it to me.

Never mind.

Unlike every else,
she's really crazy.

What I want to know, Cora,

is what's with all
the traps around here?

Did I catch you?

- Oh, maybe you did and maybe you didn't.
- ( laughs )

Too many people sneaking
around up here of late.

The wood creatures
don't like it.

They told me so, telepathically.

Hmm. You know what
I think, Cora?

I think it's you don't
want any people

around here looking
at your still.

What still?

Hey, I was just reading
about stills.

Is it a pot still
or a column still?

Well, I can't confirm or
deny that I have a still.

But if I did have a still,

of course it would be
a column still.

Do you single or double distill?

Well, I don't distill
since I don't have a still.

But, if I did have a still,

I'd triple distill
for smoothness.

- Now, if you had a theoretical still...
- Oh, what the hey,

why don't you just come
and have a look at it, kid?

Sara:
What's a still, anyway?

- Garrett: It's kind of a homemade whiskey warehouse.
- Oh.

- Cora: Business has b een slow, Freddy.
- Really?

I was hoping you were
a new customer.

So, all these people are
looking for Rita and Moe's cash?

Oh, that's a hoot!

Don't they know Rita and Moe
took it with them?

Cora, you can't take it
with you when you go.

No, they took it
with them... to Cleveland.

Or maybe it was Kansas City.

No, no, no,
they drowned right here.

You can't believe what
you read in the papers.

No, my daddy told me...
they got away,

they settled down,
they raised a family...

probably joined the PTA.

Cora: Yep, Rita and Moe must
have been living on easy street.

- There's no loot?
- But Beethoven found this $10 bill.

They're long gone.

The Elohim...

the most holy of all
the extraterrestrials.

They saw it all.

And reported it back
to my daddy.

Well, we gotta be
pushing off, Cora.

But I'm sure business
will pick up.

Sara:
Eew, that stinks.

( Cora laughing )

You were right, Freddy.

Business did just pick up.

Sara:
Uncle Freddy, you stink.

Smells like you've been to
a few too many happy hours.

- ( Barks )
- ( siren blares )

Oh, no, I do not believe this.

- What's wrong?
- I can't let Julie smell me like this.

Okay, somebody else has
gotta be driving this car.

- Garrett, have you got your license yet?
- I wish. I'm only 12.

Oh, no.
This looks bad.

This looks really bad.
( pulls emergency brake )

Beethoven?

Whoa, Freddy?
What have you been doing?

I can explain.
This is Cora's moonshine.

I can smell that.
Out of the van.

Oh, man.

You ought to be ashamed
of yourself, Freddy.

- With the kids?
- I am not drunk, okay?

- This is all Beethoven's fault.
- Oh, great.

Now you're trying to blame
the dog? Arms out, eyes closed.

I do not drink and drive.

- Right forefinger to your nose.
- Is this really necessary?

Left forefinger to your nose.

- Satisfied?
- Right elbow to your nose.

- What?
- Do it.

It won't reach.

Stand on one foot.

( laughs )

- Can you hop?
- Oh, ha, ha, ha.

All right, all right, I get it.

- ( laughing )
- Very funny.

So, you found nothing
on the net?

Nothing we didn't already know.

That's why I thought we might have
to approach it the old-fashioned way.

It looks normal,
but this is Quicksilver.

- What's the catch?
- Wait till you see inside.

The building was donated by
some lady who was a feline freak,

and the cats were part
of the deal.

Sara:
Eew, they're stuffed.

Yep, it creates
an interesting atmosphere.

- Interesting isn't the word.
- I know, I know.

It's a very weird town.

Hey, come on Beethoven, come on.

Come on, Beethoven.

So... so far I found
nothing about the Seligs.

Why don't you try looking
under "bank robberies"?

Maybe there'll be a
chapter on Rita and Moe.

- Yeah, good idea.
- Mm-hmm.

- Looking for something?
- Mr. Giles!

We were just
researching Rita and Moe.

Rita and Moe.

Yeah, y'know, the bank robbers?

Yes, every few years or so

I get a little run
on research about them.

This week it's been
like a stampede.

Apparently some young girl,

not a local,

found an interesting $10 bill.

Was that you?

Uh, actually it was
my dog, Beethoven.

So, it is true.

Do you mind if I see
the money for myself?

Actually, it's
at my Uncle Freddy's house.

Exactly where was
this bill found?

Well, we don't know,
but that's why we're here.

So we can get clues about
Rita and Moe's last day.

I can't help you.

- Why?
- Everything is checked out.

- Everything?
- Checked out, for a long time.

Come on, boy.

Hey...
"The Saga of the Seligs."

- Hey, Garrett, this is it!
- This is it!

- I'll take that.
- ( barks )

But, hey...

Let's go.

Come on, Beethoven.

Garrett: What's he
taking it up there for?

I don't know,
but I'm gonna find out.

So, what do you know
about Mr. Giles the librarian?

Giles?
I don't know.

I'll go out on a limb
and say he likes books.

- You good?
- Uh-huh.

Dealer takes three.

Well, I don't know.
He's been around forever.

He sticks to himself.
Why?

Well, Garrett and I
went up to the library today

and he seemed a little strange.

You'll get no argument
from me there. ( chuckles )

Your bet.

- Okay, but one question first.
- Mm-hmm.

What do you call it again
when you have all the same suit

and they're all in order?

A straight flush?

Oh, yeah.
That's right.

Okay, then, I bet all of this.

Take it.

You bluffed me! Oh,
man, I can not believe it.

I learned from the best.

Torched by a teenager.
I am losing my touch.

- And, to think, I'm only 12.
- Yeah.

- I'm going up to bed.
- Hey, don't eat all those.

- We're playing again tomorrow.
- Okay.

You know,
Camp Freddy's not so bad.

Better than the Bahamas?

Well, I wouldn't go that far.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Hey, Beethoven,
know what a royal flush is?

Then I'm not playing you either.

( Rustling )

( Barks )

( Howls )

( Barking )

What is it, boy?

What happened?

I think Beethoven
just scared off a burglar.

I heard him howl.

That could've meant
it was the ghosts.

- No, I don't think so.
- Is anything missing?

I don't know, I don't even
know what I have.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

The Jackson 10 is missing.

And, look,
they left this in its place.

Julie: This treasure huntin'
has gotten out of hand.

So, as far as you know,
nothing else was missing?

Well, no...
as far as I know, I think.

The ghost took it. How else
do you explain the flower?

Julie: Any idea how they got in?

Yeah, they got in through
the window, which I left open.

It's a hot night.

Sara: But what about
Beethoven? He was howling.

Beethoven never howls.

Honey, listen, don't
worry about this.

I mean, we got Beethoven
here to protect us,

we got my trusty
Louisville Slugger,

and Sheriff Julie
is only a phone call away.

We're gonna be safe,
don't worry.

I know, it's just a
little freaky, that's all.

Hey, listen,
don't you worry about it.

If anybody tries
to come in here,

I'll do my very best Mark
McGwire impersonation, and I'll...

( laughs )

And I will, at that point,

call Sheriff Julie to help.

You see, your uncle will
take good care of ya.

- I better get back to the station.
- Well, I...

I...

Okay.

Uh, Julie?

Uh...
I was wondering...

if...

you... would...

you wanted us to go
to the station with you?

Oh, no.
That won't be necessary,

I have everything I need
for the moment.

Keep up the good work,
Beethoven.

- And I might have to deputize you.
- ( barks )

He's great.

I know, I know.

I chickened out.

But what's the point? She's not
gonna go out with a slob like me.

Well, why don't you ask
her out, Mr. Cool.

Hey, no, no, no.
You already had yours.

No, no, no, no, no.
This is mine.

You know, everyone
in town has a motive

for stealing that money.

Woman:
You idiot!

What are you gonna
gamble away next?

One of the kids?

And Phil owes everyone in town
money. That gives him a motive.

And it's obvious Owen
doesn't believe in floods.

I mean, he's probably been
looking for the money all the time.

And then there's Stu. We
know he'll do anything for money.

( Change jingles )

( Phone rings )

( Whistles )

And then...

Evie Kling.

There's a good girl,
there's a good girl.

Who can trust anybody
with a dog that irritating?

And then there's Mr. Giles.

I mean, hoarding all
those Rita and Moe books.

And it's always gonna bother me

that the day
I tell him that we have

the Jackson 10 dollar bill,
it's stolen.

I mean, what's up with that?

True. Something's
going on there.

- You know what we need, Uncle Freddy?
- What?

We need a personal tour of that
special collection room of his.

Okay, all right,
here's the deal...

when there's more of your
drool than my ice cream

in this bowl, it's yours.
You want it?

Okay, fine.

You don't fool me with
that coy thing, you know?

I saw you looking off,
pretending

that you didn't want it.
I know you wanted it.

Garrett:
Shh, there he is.

Freddy: 12:00 noon,
just like clockwork.

Giles goes for his chili burger
and Rolaids. Okay, let's go.

- All yours.
- Okay, Julie would kill me if she saw me doing this.

Where'd you learn how
to pick locks?

I used to be a locksmith...
something like that.

It's just up those stairs.

Okay, fine... now, nobody touch
anything. No one can know we were here.

All right, you two stay
here and keep guard.

Beethoven and I'll go on a
little recon. Come on, Beethoven.

Keep it down.
Shh.

Beethoven... what part of "Don't
touch anything" didn't you understand?

Come here, boy.
Shh.

Hey!

Hey, what are you doing?

Beethoven, cut it out.

Quiet, or the whole town
will be here.

Shh.

No, no!

Oh, no.
Thank you.

- Uncle Freddy... what happened to being quiet?
- Shh!

Everything's fine.
I got it under control, okay?

Okay.

Like the old days.

- ( Alarm ringing )
- Ahh! Ahh!

Ahh!

Shh!

( Ringing continues )

( Silence )

- Yes, sir.
- That's it.

We're going up, come on.

Needless to say, I didn't last
very long in the security business.

- Both: Yeah.
- Come on, bird dog.

Now, this is very weird.

Do you really think our
$10 bill's going to be in here?

Freddy: Well, there's
only one way to find out.

Let's search the place, come on.

Whoa... Rita and Moe!

This is a little suspicious.

Sara: Hey, the red
carnation. Let's look in here.

- Find anything, Freddy?
- Nothing from this century.

- Hey, look.
- What'd you find?

Negatives.

Can't tell what they're of.

Garrett: Must be important
if they kept them in here.

Sara:
Let me see.

- What's wrong, Beethoven?
- Someone's coming!

What?

Don't panic, okay?
Stay calm.

- Everybody just, we just...
- Or what, go to jail?

No, no, no.

Okay. When I tell you,
I want you to run.

- What, you're gonna time us?
- What? No. Go, go, go, go.

Out the front door.

( Clock ringing )

( Ringing stops )

- We should tell Julie.
- I don't think we want to tell the sheriff.

We just broke into the library
and trashed the place.

I mean, I like her,
but the inside of a jail cell

is not the best way to make
an impression on her.

( Creaking )

Hey, don't skimp
on the whipped cream.

Don't worry, I got
a whole case in the garage.

Beethoven!

Breakfast time!

Beethoven?

Breakfast time!

That's weird, he never
misses breakfast.

Beethoven?

I'll check around front.

Beethoven?
( whistles )

- Beethoven!
- Beethoven!

Beethoven!

Breakfast time!

Beethoven!

Beethoven!

Well, thanks for coming by
so quickly, Julie.

I don't like it.
Somebody's getting

- a little too serious about this money.
- Yeah.

Don't forget to put
those posters up.

I'll let you know if I get
any leads on Beethoven.

Okay.

( Starts engine )

- ( Backfires ) - Sara: We'll
find him, right, Uncle Freddy?

Don't worry, Sara.
We'll get Beethoven back.

( Coughs )
We'd better get inside.

- He's missing, huh?
- Yeah.

Well, that's just too bad.

( Barking )

Thanks for letting me post
this here, Mr. Herman.

- Bye.
- Bye, Sara.

I'm sorry to hear
Beethoven's missing.

Whoa.

Missing, huh?

I'll bet you a 100 bucks the dog
found a collie and ran off to Vegas.

- What makes you say that?
- That's what I'd do.

Hey, how about
50 bucks? 20?

- C'mon, give me a number.
- Hey, there you are.

You gotta check this out.
One and one makes three.

Whoa! Rita and Moe had a baby?

I know... I know
who has Beethoven!

Yes?

Sorry to bother you, Mr. Giles, but
I need to ask you a few questions.

- About what, sheriff?
- We're looking for Beethoven.

Have you seen him?

I suggest you check
the Central Cemetery in Vienna.

Look next to Mozart's tomb.

Very funny,
Mr. Giles.

I meant Beethoven, the dog.
Were you home last night?

No, I was cleaning the library.

And blow-drying some wet cats.

Sara: We know
who you really are.

You are the son
of Rita and Moe Selig.

That's preposterous!

- Why are you so sure of this?
- It was Crazy Cora.

She said that
Rita and Moe got away.

She also said she was selling
moonshine to aliens.

But it made me think, what
if they really did get away?

It would explain why they
never found the bodies.

And Cora also said
that they had a kid.

Show them the negative
you printed, Garrett.

That you were hiding,
Mr. Giles.

But, what really
did it was this...

the letters I saw
in the store window.

Giles is...

Selig...

spelled backwards.

Of course.
An anagram.

What do you say,
Mr. Giles?

You're a regular little
detective, aren't you, kid?

It's true.
Mom and Dad survived

that plunge into the lake.

Of course, they never did get
over it. Scared them to death.

They escaped to Canada

and put their bank robbing
days behind them.

All these years, everyone's
been looking in the wrong place.

They'd buried everything
from all their heists

somewhere in that
old mercury mine.

They were too scared
to come back to America.

Well, besides, the only map to the
money went down with the car in the lake.

Anyway, after they died,
I came back here

to see if I could find the
money, and I never found a thing.

Why'd you give up?

I got tired.

I thought my secret
was safe until...

this week when your dog
found some of the loot.

So, are you going
to bring me to the jail?

What about Beethoven?
Did you take him?

No, no.
Go ahead and look around.

- I didn't take him.
- He isn't here.

It's too neat, believe me.
He'd be hard to hide.

Well, then, there's no
reason to arrest you, Mr. Giles.

You're not your parents.

So, if he doesn't have
Beethoven...

who does?

It's your moment of truth, mutt.

Come here, all right.

Here, I'm gonna show
you something.

See this?
There...

my ticket out of this dump.

I loathe this place.

Oh, look at that.
Huh, see that?

All right, look,
get a whiff of that cash.

You smell that?
You smell that?

That's what we're
gonna find tonight, all right?

Good. Listen, you take me to
that cash, or I'll bury you right here.

Come on, now, now.

Yeah, keep it up, keep it up.

Come on, where is it? Don't
lose it now. Don't lose it now.

I've been dreaming
about this day.

You know you can't even get
a decent latte in this rat hole?

Just keep going,
come on, come on.

It's gonna be great.
Whoa!

Hey, what the...?
What, you think you're smarter?

Listen, you can't fool me,
all right? Now, come on!

Wasting my life in a town
where the yokels

think a Twinkie
is a French pastry...

Who said you could take a break?

Come on, dog breath.

- ( Barking )
- Whoa! What the...?

Hey! Hey!
What? Oh my... what?

Ow!

Hey, hey, hey, hey!
No, no, hey, wait a minute!

Hey, hey, wait, wait,
where're you going?

Ow! Don't...
wait... where are you...

come back,
come back here. Hey!

Hey! Hey!

Get back here!
Ow!

( Footsteps )

- Did you hear that?
- Yeah.

Come on.

Beethoven!

- Beethoven!
- What did they do to you? Here.

- Is that better, boy?
- Oh, where were you?

Hey, where are you going?

Come here.
Come here, Beethoven.

Uncle Freddy, he wants us
to follow him.

Come on.

We aren't gonna follow him?

Things are getting a
little crazy around here.

I'd like to get you home
in one piece, okay?

Are you telling me now
you believe in ghosts?

No, I'm telling you
now maybe I should

start using a little
common sense for once.

I say we get dressed,
get Garrett,

and find that money.

Well, what about the ghosts?

Y'know, sometimes
you just have to jump in

without your floaties.

Okay, guys, we've been
out here long enough.

- It's gonna be light soon.
- Come on, Freddy, just a little longer.

- We've got to be close.
- Yeah, well, that's what w orries me.

We might run into
something we can't handle.

Sara: Wait... I think
he's got something.

- Who'd I catch tonight?
- Oh, hey, hey! Over here.

- Over here! Come on.
- Who is that?

- Harold?
- Cora.

( Beethoven barks )

Sara: I bet it's in there.
Come on, Garrett, let's go.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
come back here!

We don't know
who we're dealing with.

- Come on, Uncle Freddy.
- Kids, come back.

Garrett:
Wow, look at this place!

Don't you know that mine shafts
and kids equal disaster?

I hate this.

( Flapping )

What was that?

( Spitting )

Garrett: Oh, my gosh,
he's digging... look!

Come on, Uncle Freddy.
What is it, boy?

- Freddy, he's found something.
- Yeah, what are we standing around for?

I thought you hated mine shafts?

But I love buried treasure.
Come on, let's go.

Okay, Beethoven...
dig or get out of the way.

Come on, Beethoven,
help out here.

Come on.

That's it?
That's your shift?

Oh, man, well, there better be something
down here more than a bone, Beethoven,

or I'll tell ya,
I'm gonna be really angry.

- Hold it, hold it, hold it.
- What is it?

- This is it. This is it.
- Oh, my God, the money.

- Come on, help me with this.
- I can't believe it.

- We are finding pay dirt.
- There's the lid!

- Hold it. Hold it.
- That's it, come on!

- ( All gasp )
- Sara: We're rich!

Uncle Freddy, we're rich!
Garrett!

It's beautiful.

Freddy: Ka-ching,
ka-ching. ( laughs )

- Ohh!
- You are looking at Moe and Rita's money.

- Oh, yeah!
- Come on, let's get it.

Thank you, Beethoven.

Put it in the bag.

Kids, I think we're gonna need the
services of a good financial planner.

( Engine sputtering )

Garrett: What's this, a
mechanic whose truck won't start?

- What's going on?
- Oh, man.

It looks like we're gonna
need a ride out of here.

Hello? Hello?

Julie, can you hear me?
Yeah, it's Freddy.

No, no, no, not Eddie... Freddy.

Oh, Freddy, where are you?

Listen, somebody cut
the wires to my truck.

We got the money, but we're up here
about two miles on Old Lakeview Road.

- Can you come and get us?
- I can't hear you, you're breaking up.

- What did you say?
- Did you... can you... Old Lakeview Road...

- Old Lakeview Road?
- Yeah, come and get us. Did you hear that?

- Okay, I'll be right there.
- Hello?

- Julie's on her way.
- Good.

I think.

( Barking, howling )

- He only does that when...
- He hears ghosts.

Sara:
Beethoven, come back!

Freddy: Beethoven, hold it!
Where do you think you're going?

Sara: No, boy, no!
Come back! Beethoven!

Freddy: Guys, this
is getting out of hand.

- We've got to wait for Julie.
- Sara: Beethoven!

Oh, no, not this again.

Sara: Come on, you guys!
There's something in here.

- Garrett: Whoa!
- Sara: It's a ghost.

It's Rita and Moe!

( Barking )

- Beethoven!
- No, Beethoven, no!

What the heck?

Cora? Oh, man.

You've got to train this moose.

This is the second time
he's knocked me over.

- Cora, what is all this?
- All what?

Look, this...
you pretending to be ghosts.

So, there were never any ghosts?

If I didn't go along
with it, the Genesis 1

was going to beam me
straight up.

And I'm not ready to
go, I'll tell you that now.

And even when I am ready to go,

it sure as heck's
not gonna be to Saturn.

So, what...
aliens are behind all this?

Oh, don't be such a fool.

It wasn't the aliens.
It was Harold.

Harold Herman talked
you into this?

He spoke to the aliens.

Well, he was the one who told us
dogs howl when they're around ghosts.

Howling?
You want howling?

- ( Silent whistle )
- ( howling )

Harold gave me this
to lure you guys in here.

The money.

It's gone!

No way!

Beethoven! Beethoven!
Wait up!

( Backfires )

Oh, come on, come on.
Not again.

Oh!

Oh!

Get off! Get off!

Yeow!

I said get off!

Ahhh!

Come on!
Get off!

Harold, are you okay?
You got some explaining to do.

- Freddy?
- It's him. He's the one who kidnapped Beethoven.

- Don't let him get away!
- Hey!

Come on.
Come on.

- Harold!
- Give up, Harold!

( Growling )

Get him, Beethoven!

Nice takedown, big guy.

- Hey, ow!
- That's for taking my money.

And that's for taking my dog.

"Equalizer Death Grip."
Dad would be proud.

Meet the ghost of Moe and Rita.

I must admit, the carnation
was a nice touch.

Julie: Harold Herman,
you're under arrest.

Dog napping, reckless driving,

hit and run, and
that's just for starters.

You know what? You leave
me no choice, Julie, you're fired.

You can't fire me,
I'm an elected official.

I'm the President of the Chamber of
Commerce, I can fire anybody I want!

- Let's go, Harold.
- I deserve that money.

Stuck in this dump
all these years only to have

my ticket out of here
ruined by some...

- dumb dog and some stupid teenagers.
- She's not a teenager.

- I deserve that money!
- She's only 12.

Howard:
You almost let me go.

- You're not dumb. You're a hero.
- Yeah!

Freddy: Ah, the new library's
really looking good, isn't it?

Garrett: Yeah, Rita and Moe's
money sure went a long way.

Freddy: Nothing like
being a good citizen.

Look at that... the bus
doesn't get here for 10 minutes.

Wait a minute,
we're actually early?

Yeah. Well, don't be so
surprised. I've been early before.

- Like when?
- Well...

just because I can't think of an
example doesn't mean I'm lying.

- So, you got everything?
- Um... uh-huh.

M&M's...

Walkman...

ticket...

- Ticket? Oh, no, ticket.
- ( barks )

- Uncle Freddy.
- I gave you the ticket.

- Didn't I?
- No!

I think I gave you...
oh, did I give you the ticket?

- Gotcha!
- Oh, that was good.

That was real good.
I'm impressed, I'm impressed.

- ( Siren sounds )
- Uh-oh, the cops.

Okay, you kids run, I'll try to
hold them off with Beethoven.

Thought I wouldn't
make it in time.

I don't think so.
In that baby?

475 horse power,
zero to 60 in 4.8 seconds.

She's a beauty, all right.

And I have one good-looking
courageous treasure seeker to thank for it.

Well...

Don't I, Beethoven?
You're my hero.

Thank you for
the police cruiser.

I suppose Beethoven just
did it all by himself, huh?

I'll thank you
at dinner tonight.

Freddy:
Oh, boy, here it comes.

It's official, I guess.
Our little party's over.

Well, let's get this show
on the road.

It's okay, I got it.

Garrett...

Here's your Peruvian Crystal.

Beethoven, what are you doing?

I'm sorry, Garrett.

I guess this is as good as
time as any to tell you that it's...

- it's not really from Machu Picchu.
- It's not?

It's rock candy.

Want one?

( Burps, barks )

- You lied to me.
- Hey, I had to think fast.

I mean, you were
gonna chicken out

and miss the adventure
of a lifetime.

- You mad at me?
- Yeah.

- Time to go, Sara.
- But I'll get over it.

Bye, Sara. We're gonna miss you
around here. You too, Beethoven.

Bye, Julie.
Bye, Garrett.

- Well, I wanted...
- I wanted to...

- I thought I...
- Uncle Freddy, I...

Wait, wait, okay...
I have something for you.

Thanks, Uncle Freddy.

I was wondering...

could I make a reservation
at Camp Freddy next summer?

Well, that depends on whether or not
you're gonna be beating me at poker.

I'm gonna bleed you dry.

- ( Barks )
- Bye, Uncle Freddy.

Yes, you can come too.

But you gotta work
on that drooling thing.

Come on, Beethoven.

- Bye, Sara.
- Bye, Sara. See you next summer.

Bye, Beethoven!

- Bye!
- Bye Sara! Bye, Beethoven!

I'll have a banana split
waiting for ya, Sara.

Sara: I'm gonna
miss Uncle Freddy.

And I can't believe
I'm saying this,

but I'm actually
gonna miss this town,

as bizarre as it is.

Duck, quick, it's Baby Cakes!

Too late!
Beethoven!

Sweetheart, stay! Sit!

Baby Cakes!
Baby Cakes, why?

No, please, Baby Cakes,
that is not how a lady acts.

Oh, Baby Cakes!

Sara: Looks like somebody's
gonna miss you, Beethoven.

So, do you think now
that Quicksilver's

a little richer,
it'll be any less weird?

I don't think so either.

( Instrumental music playing )