Becoming (2020) - full transcript

Hey, Josh.

What's happening?

Well, I usually listen to my music.

This is what I do in the car.

I have an eclectic taste in music.

It depends on the mood:
whether I want to be inspired,

or whether I just want to...

thump it out.

Hit me!

# How y'all doing this evening? #

# Do y'all want that bounce? #



Because sometimes you need to bounce
before you do something.

# That bounce? #

# Everybody wanna be like you #
They want power and praise like you, but #

# See there is no god like our God
Like our God #

# There's no one like you... #

# And it won't stop... #

# And it won't stop #

# One more time, y'all #

# Here we go
Let me see your ones #

# There's no one like you
Let me see your ones #

# There's no one like you #

# And we don't stop
Because we can't stop #

# There's no one like you
Let me see your ones #

# There's no one like you
You need to remember that #



# There's no one like you #

# God has not given you
A spirit of fear #

# There's only one
There's no one like you #

Hey.

- Wow.
- Got to have a book cake.

Get a picture of our book cake.

Oh, my goodness!

Wow.

- How do they do this kind of stuff?
- I wonder who did this?

Wow.

Don't touch it!

Don't touch it, lady!

She's going to touch it. Go sit down.

- Ma.
- ...these stairs.

- Yep.
- Oh, I can see.

I got you, too.

OK, now, you all,
we can walk a little faster.

OK. All right, big stuff.

Wow.

It's full.
I mean, like, the rafters...

I just saw my family

and I got a little...

...verklempt.

Heavenly Father,
thank you for this moment

and for all you've done
to bring us to this point.

It's a privilege to have this opportunity,

and we know that you have
a greater purpose for all of this.

- In Your name we pray...
- ...amen.

You OK, Mel?

Mel's crying.

All right.
I'm not going to touch your clothes.

- Love you, sweetie.
- You, too.

Way to go.

You don't have to keep it together.

You don't have to...
You can cry your eyes out.

- I can't do that right now.
- No. OK.

Hello, Chicago!

She served our country

as the 44th First Lady
of the United States.

She made us always feel like
the White House was really our house,

the people's house.

She is your hometown girl

from the South Side of Chicago.

Welcome, Michelle Obama!

OK, everybody.

- We're home.
- We're home.

Yeah, feels good.

I've got to say...

can we talk about leaving the White House?

When you got on the helicopter,
did you think, "Free at last.

Free at last"?

- Yeah.
- Or was it bittersweet? What was it?

That whole day was a trip, first of all,

you know, for so many reasons.

So what was happening on our last day

was that Sasha's and Malia's friends,

who had grown up in the White House,

came to me that night and were like,
"We want to sleep over."

And I'm like, "What?

You want a sleepover?"

"Yeah, we...

We're going to miss being here.

We want our last breakfast."

Because you can get
what you want to eat at the White House,

so all those girls were like,

"I think I'll have
the fried chicken biscuit."

"I'm going to have a waffle."

So we're trying to move,

and then they wake up,
and I've got to get them out.

"Come on, wake up. The Trumps are coming.

You've got to get up,

get out,"

you know?

Wow.

And there are tears, and there's crying,
and the staff is crying,

and I'm trying not to cry.

I said, "If I walk out there crying,

they'll swear I'm crying
for a different reason."

Yeah, for sure.

So I'm like,
"We have got to get it together."

So it was a very emotional day.

But then we got on Air Force One,

and when I got on the plane,

I think I sobbed...

You did?

...for 30 minutes.

And I think it was just
the release of eight years

of trying to do everything perfectly.

One day,
you're a normal family.

An election happens,

and your life changes instantly.

It's like we were shot out of a cannon.

We didn't have time to, like,
adjust to it.

Being the First Lady has been
the greatest honor of my life.

But how many people are in that position

where the entire attention
of everything is you?

Every gesture you make,

every blink of your eye,
is being analyzed.

You have the world
watching every move you make.

Your life isn't yours anymore.

The whole idea of doing the tour

is to be able to have the time
to actually reflect...

to figure out what just happened to me.

It's kind of the panic moment of,

"Yeah, this is totally me,

unplugged,
for the first time in a long time."

We are ready.

And now I can leave.

See, this is not normal.

Now I can walk out of my door.

Morning.

Morning. Thank you.

Thanks so much, all of you. Morning.

Love your book.

Thank you so much.

Ooh...

Do it.

We want you back!

When we started talking about touring,

I visualized ahead,
"OK, how are we going to do this?

How do we reach the most people?
How do we reach kids?"

And before you knew it,
it was just a big thing.

We have a three-day swing that takes us
to Tacoma, Portland and Phoenix.

So it's hard to...

Finding, prepping,

doing travel arrangements, and
all that stuff for 21 different moderators

is an enormous amount of work.

This is where it's like...
I don't know the hassle.

But it would be more interesting
to have more people and different people.

- It would make for a better show.
- No explanation needed.

Do any of those other men jump out at you?

Like, Seth, James, Conan...

Justin Bieber?

I would watch, I'm not gonna lie.

What?

But when I think of somebody,
it's, like, curiosity and energy,

and sort of a cur...

Gayle, you know?

I'm becoming...

more comfortable saying no,

more confident saying yes...

...and more willing to say...

what's on my mind.

...what's on my mind.

They told me that I am
the first male moderator.

We're really testing this out, Conan.

Knowing how to engage an interview...

- It's a skill.
- It's a skill.

- Colbert is the best.
- Yeah.

He will get
into some dangerous territory.

Before the White House, did he ever
get you coffee in bed on Mother's Day?

Nah.

We are here to talk about a book.

It's a book. Isn't that something?

All of these people are here
because you wrote...

Nobody's twerking.

No, there's no twerking.

- We are reading, y'all.
- That's right.

What I experience in these big arenas

is the power of gathering...

of sharing a set of experiences.

Oh, my gosh.

I'm so pumped.

I know, just look at her.

Oh, my God.

I know, right?

How's everybody doing?

- When are you due?
- In four weeks.

Oh, my gosh!

- Do you know what you're having?
- Yeah, a girl.

- It's my first.
- Strong girls.

- Yes.
- Congratulations.

- How are you?
- My daughter's name is Sasha.

- You have a Sasha?
- Yeah.

Is she sassy like mine?

Oh, we have feuds.

- Oh, it's so nice to see you.
- Look at you.

Did you do this for me?

- Of course! I had to put it on for you.
- It's fabulous!

- How are you, ma'am?
- I'm fine.

- It's so nice to see you.
- I'm so happy to meet you.

- Thank you for taking the time to be here.
- Of course.

Hi, bright eyes!

- How are you?
- I'm good.

I'm in college.
I'm going to be a graphic designer.

Excellent. All right, stay on it, OK?

- Thank you.
- Proud of you.

- Thank you.
- All right.

It's like an emotional,
sociological dance with people.

It's important to make sure I take
every person as they come up.

- How are you guys doing?
- It is such an honor to meet you.

- This is my daughter.
- How old are you, babe?

- I'm 13.
- Oh, my goodness.

- School's going well?
- Uh-huh.

When somebody walks up to me,
don't look around,

don't look beyond them;

look them in the eye, take in the story.

Your story about your daughters

for moms who are going
through postpartum depression...

And just hearing your story
is such a blessing.

So I thank you, and God bless you so much.

- Do you have children?
- Yes, I have a one-year-old.

Sharing somebody's story

gives me perspective that I need,
that I don't get

because all my interactions
are kind of sanitized.

It's so nice to meet you.
It's so wonderful to meet you.

- Are you students?
- We are. We're all undergrads.

We're first-years.

So this is how I relate to people,

and it helps me stay connected.

Oh, my goodness.

Don't make me cry.
I just had this face done.

Catch your breath. Take a breath.

- What's your name?
- Theresa.

- Theresa.
- I so admire you.

Oh, my goodness.

- Thank you so much, babe.
- This was unexpected.

I'm sorry.

What did you think was going to happen?

It's so good to see you guys.

...next level and deal with their fears.

I'm getting caught up
on what you guys are...

I crave some longer experiences
with young people...

through the community events.

The tour could do a great job
of giving me a little taste of it.

How do you feel, like...
How do I put this?

How do you feel,
transitioning back to your normal life?

Because, like, it got...
I don't want to say it got "interrupted."

But it was, like, a huge...

You can say it.

It was, like, a huge bump in the road.

You were going to live this normal life,
and then your husband became president.

So how does it feel, trying to get back
on the track of your normal life

that you had before?

What I've learned is,
"Get back on what track?"

It's a whole new track.

It's not going back. It's not...

You know, it's just all different,
and it's different forever.

So it's not getting back on track,

but it's creating my next track.

I'm doing what you're doing.

I'm figuring out, "What do I want to do?

What do I care about?"

And it takes time to process your life

and figure out what it all means.

So little of who I am
happened in those eight years.

So much more of who I was
happened before.

So are you guys going to take
a final look when you're done

at the monitors in the foyer?

Mrs. Obama's ready.

I'm ready, too.

So tell us about Michelle Obama
as a little girl,

because she says she was feisty,

and that part of you
really liked her feistiness.

- True?
- I did.

Well, it goes back to Craig.

I think I was too soft with him,

trying to make him the nice little boy,

- That's right.
- And I don't think that works.

So I just...

She was too soft on you.

No, she made me too soft.

She was too strict.

Your sister took the brunt of that.
I hope you feel bad.

Do you feel
you have your life back?

Do you miss the White House at all?

- No.
- No?

Not at all.

- All right. Bye, team.
- OK. All right.

- I'll see you guys tonight.
- OK. All right.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Hello.
- I thought you were wearing the pink.

No, that was for earlier,
and that had food on it.

That's the evening attire.

- That was for the day.
- That looks like two belts.

It's one belt, but it's three separate...

Oh, it's got a top belt, too.

- Oh, I see.
- Yep, this, this, and this.

But it's not separated?

No. It's one belt,
but you buckle it three different times.

And is that the style,
to have your belt so high now?

Is that the style?

- I don't know...
- People, what's so...

- I don't...
- I just asked if it was the style.

It isn't about you.

Come on, zip it. Let's go.

That was a compliment.
I like the belt up that high.

- I don't know what people...
- It looks like a holster.

Like, if you had some...

- You could. It's when I...
- You shouldn't laugh.

- That's what I was talking about.
- That's the problem.

Come on, Craig.

My brother, my big brother...

You know, he was my first crush,
my big brother.

My brother's the kind of person...
Everybody liked Craig.

You know,
my mother liked Craig better than me.

I joke about this all the time.

You know, we would have Thanksgiving
at the White House.

And I'd be around.
There would be butlers and stuff going on.

And, "Where's Craig?

But when's Craig coming?"

And I was like, "Ma. Come on, lady.

I am the First Lady.
What more do I have to do?"

You know? I mean...

Everybody in the world
knows who she is.

That's incredible.

Everybody in the world knows
who my sister is.

What is that? That's dumb.

Nobody should have
to deal with that. No one.

No brother should have
to deal with their sister

being the most popular person
in the world.

- Ooh, it's chilly. Hey, Mommy.
- It is chilly.

- Sorry for the snow.
- Take you on a tour...?

If it weren't for you,
we'd put the blinds up.

Yeah.

- That's a preference.
- Is she allowed...

Are those people terrorists?
Are they going to attack?

- See, that's not right.
- No.

Craig always has a good supply of wine.

- Right. So we have some kale salad.
- I love coming here and drinking his wine.

I have wine, too.

- I know...
- Did you see it? China, you still saw it.

I've got wine, too.

That's right.

I get the special wine.

Mich just gets White House wine.

"When I come to Craig's house..."

That's right, Ma. You tell her.

"...I just get... The wine is just..."

- I'm going to have some of this wine.
- Here's some of my wine.

Here, refill mine.

Let me see. Wait, let me see. Let me see.

Family.

These are my favorite pictures.

God, that tree looks ugly.

Because you actually let us
decorate the tree.

That's why it looks ugly.

Because a seven-year-old did that.

Oh, here's the...

Oh, there's the dress.

You can see all these pleats.

Look how pretty you are, Mommy.

- Could have been on TV, in movies.
- So young.

- Were you excited about your wedding?
- I think so.

At least you weren't pregnant,
because I didn't come until later.

"I might have been happy about it."

I haven't seen it in a long time, but...

that was good.

That was good.

Do you know, the last time
we went through these pictures like this

had to be when Dad was alive.

Sure.

He just liked people.

Look how handsome Dad is.

I am from the South Side of Chicago.

That tells you as much about me
as you need to know.

It was a typical working-class community.

Some good music,

some good barbecue,

some good times.

Our dinner table was the first table
where I felt like I belonged.

And then you go out into the world

expecting the same thing.

You're in high school,

you are accomplished.

You were class treasurer?
Do I remember that right?

I was senior class treasurer, yes.

I was still that kid.

You were on the honor roll,

and you went to go see
your guidance counselor.

Your brother had gone to Princeton,

and you thought, "I'm going to aspire
to go to Princeton, too."

But that guidance counselor
had other ideas,

didn't see in you
what you saw in yourself.

Yeah, and she decided
that my wish to go to Princeton

was thinking too big,

that I was reaching too high.

And at that point, she told me,
"I don't think you're Princeton material."

- The nerve!
- Yeah.

- Well, she was wrong.
- Yeah.

I went back to the school just recently
and the principal was like,

"She doesn't work here anymore."

I was like, "I bet she doesn't."

I share that
because obviously it worked out OK.

But that statement, while I was able
to get over it, it was a punch.

I'm still a little salty...

...about that.

Still a little salty about it.

Your book really stuck to me,

how there's just so much
that African-American women go through

and African-American individuals
go through, as a whole.

And we go through those alone.

We don't have backup.
We don't have support.

With me being a first-generation student,

I've lived in subsidized housing
all my life.

I didn't believe that I would be sitting

next to the former First Lady
of the United States.

And I just wanted to know,
how did you, as a black woman,

persevere through, just, invisibility?

For me, I never felt invisible.

And I think, in thinking through my story
about why do I not now feel invisible,

I think it's because my parents

made me always feel visible.

It came from
not what was going on in the world,

but what was going on at my dinner table.

My mother, she let us ask anything.

You had to be polite.

We got spankings if we were too...
You know?

She was still a black mother.

But that invisibility, it starts here.

We can't afford to wait for the world
to be equal to start feeling seen.

We're far from it.

Time will not allow it.

It's not going to happen
with one president, one vote.

So you've got to find the tools
within yourself to feel visible,

and to be heard, and to use your voice.

I have high expectations of young people.

It's the same expectations
my family had of me.

My grandfather Dandy
expected us to be great.

But he went through life
being underestimated.

Growing up, he was a brilliant young man,

somebody that loved to read books,

loved to delve into things
in a deep and meaningful way.

He could have been a professor.
He could have been a doctor.

But because of race and class,

he couldn't get into colleges.

He didn't have the money, the resources...

And imagine walking around
with all this ability,

and the world telling you, "No.

No, you're not good enough.
No, you're not ready."

Watching people half your intelligence

being promoted past you.

You know,
watching opportunities slip away,

not because you're not able,
but because nobody thinks you deserve it.

That caused him
a lot of disappointment and anger.

That made him push us to be better.

This is a super-normal Wednesday.

Very normal.

Every so often a book comes along
that creates bridges.

Yeah.

So we thought it was a great idea
to bring two book clubs together

to talk about
their unique experiences with the book,

but also the common things.

- You come from Chicago, also.
- My parents.

- Where did you grow up?
- My mom's from Gresham.

That's where Barack organized.

But it was fascinating to read
because they were lifelong,

they lived there, they grew up there,
family there, steeped there.

And they were definitely
part of the white flight.

Do you have a sense
of what they were fleeing

when they decided to leave?

Or did they even know?

I don't know that my parents did.

If you look at my parents' parents,

that's when you see the veiled racism.

That's when you would hear
the off-the-cuff remarks

like, "Well, they're moving
into the neighborhood."

And it was so interesting to read that
from your perspective, versus what I knew.

Yeah.

What was going on in the '70s

was that, as black families like ours
were moving into neighborhoods,

white families were being scared away.

They were being told,
"Sell your home quick.

Your property values
are going to go down."

And so they fled further to the suburbs.

You can even see it in class pictures
of my kindergarten class

and my eighth-grade class.

I mean, it does something to kids like me,

and we have to remember that

as we are pointing out people
who belong and don't belong.

Because my family, sadly,

was one of those families,
to some, who didn't belong.

I ended up going to Princeton.

I was one of a handful
of minority students.

It was the first time in my life
where I stood out like that.

I learned that
one of my roommates moved out

because her mother was horrified
that I was black.

She felt her daughter was in danger.

I wasn't prepared for that.

In hindsight, I think I needed
to go to Princeton to see for myself

what all this was
that I wasn't good enough for.

And then you're in class with
some of these guys, and you realized what?

Well, they're not that smart.

And it's not even
just an image that we have.

It's an image that we're given.

People have told us, "No,
these are the things that aren't for you."

So one of the most empowering things
as a young person

was to go to one of the top schools

and realize that there are all kinds
of affirmative action.

You know, there's legacy...

Yes.

- There's...
- Yes.

There's the college athlete.

And universities have a right
and an interest in diversifying.

The problem is that when it comes
to students of color, poor kids,

all of a sudden,
that's affirmative action,

and that's a problem.

- And they're lesser than, yes.
- And they're lesser than.

And I have been at, probably, every
powerful table there is in the world.

I've been at G-summits,
I've been in castles and palaces,

in boardrooms and academic universities.

- And...
- Can I drop the microphone?

And I'm coming down from the...

Yes.

You know,

I am coming down from the mountaintop
to tell every young person

that is poor and working-class,

and has been told,
regardless of the color of your skin,

that you don't belong,

don't listen to them.

They don't even know
how they got at those seats.

Yes, yes, yes.

They don't know.

D...

O...

L-P-H-I-N-S!

Some of these young women
that we selected for this activity today

asked the question, "Why me?"

"You chose me. Why?"

- Well, why not?
- That's interesting, yeah.

So, how many of you thought that?
Like, "Why me?"

There's girls who I feel, like,
they are president of this club,

their ACT, SAT is this, this...

Whatever, right?

I just literally come to school,

I do whatever I have to do,

and then I stay for one club,
and that's Latinos Unidos,

and then I leave, and then I go to work.

And why do you work?

My dad... He had an accident.

He doesn't work like he used to.

Helping him out in some way
would make him feel good.

And also
because I have three little brothers,

everything that I do is for them.

I go to work and I bring them food.

Like, everything...

And she wonders why she's here.

That story,

with all the highs and lows,

and what seems so ordinary,

and what seems like nothing to you,

is your power.

Oof!

Last day.

Chris.

Over here.

Do you have your yearbook?

I am a senior at Whitney Young
here in the South Side of Chicago.

And I am a Mexican girl.

This is my last week of high school.

I remember the first year, I was like,
"I want to transfer to a different school.

I can't do this work."

Just putting myself down.

- That's nice.
- Yeah. Sorry.

What kept me motivated was

here you get to be friends with people

that are completely different from you,

from different parts of the world,

and I'm very thankful for that.

Girl, you always cry!

Knowing that I'm one of the first ones
to graduate high school

is just very important
for my family and I.

Elizabeth Cervantes.

I'm very excited
about what the future holds

and going to college.

It's a huge accomplishment for me.

When you come out,
you'll say, "Hello, Washington D.C."

However you would want
to maybe identify yourself.

"I worked with the Obamas.

I've been an advisor
for the Obamas for years.

I'm Valerie Jarrett, your host tonight."

Just to do a little establishing.

- OK, I can do that.
- Cool.

And then she comes up here.
You are in this chair.

She's in that chair.

So you guys can hug, wave, sit...

converse.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Michelle Obama!

# This girl is on fire #

I was in my twenties.

I was a lawyer.

And up until that point,

I had been what I describe in the book
as a "box-checker."

I was doing what I thought
I was supposed to do.

You know, I was an A-student.
I got the star.

And that landed me
from Princeton to Harvard,

to a firm,

without really thinking
about what I cared about.

You start practicing law,

and then, out of nowhere,

comes a young man
with a very peculiar name.

And you were supposed to be his mentor.

And then
I had to call him on the phone.

This is when I first got a hint that there
might be a little something more there.

He's like, "Hello?"

And he's got that Barack Obama voice

that did not match the nerdy image
I had in my head.

And I was sort of like, "Whoa!"

I really was like, "Whoa!"

The heat was coming out of the phone
from that voice.

But then he was late,

and I was like, "Trifling black man,
late on the first day."

He flashed that smile.

He was like, "Oh, I'm so sorry."

"I was... I was late.

I wasn't equipped with an umbrella."

You know, and I started going, "OK."

And he was walking by.

All the secretaries
were looking at me, like...

And I was like, "I know. I know, girl."

Get him in the office.

Yeah, it's fun listening to her
tell these stories.

- Yeah.
- Some of which, you know...

Part of me is like, "No.

Hold on a second.

That's not exactly how it happened."

But because he was my advisee I was like,

"Yeah, no, we're not dating."

Because he asked me out
probably a month in,

and I was like,
"Dude, that would be so tacky."

The two black people
from Harvard, you know?

I was like,
"That's what they're waiting for."

It's like,
"You guys love each other, don't you?

You're black, he's black.
This will be great."

I was not gonna fall into that stereotype.

But how do you fall for a guy
who's driving a yellow Datsun?

Yellow,

with a hole in the floor,
that when you're driving,

you can see the street as you're moving.

I mean, this was love, y'all.

One day, you guys are hanging out
in the middle of the night,

and you see him staring off into space,
and you're thinking,

"I wonder if he's thinking about moi?"

And you said,
"What are you thinking about?"

It could be, like, income inequality or...

the fate of the black community.

I was like, "Oh, how romantic."

He was a different kind of dude
from the very beginning.

He was very different.

And he was different from me,

and he challenged me in different ways.

I knew he was a tsunami coming after me,

and if I didn't get my act together,

I would be swept up.

I didn't want to just be
an appendage to his dreams.

So that forced me to work and think,

and make decisions like leaving law.

Speaking of your husband...

Flowers!

Wait, this is like when Jay-Z comes out

during the Beyoncé concert.

# Young B and R-O-C #

You know, that's in "Crazy in Love."
It's the same thing.

It's just a little sample...

to enhance...

the concert.

There are a couple of things
I would correct.

You don't have to do that here.

- It's my book.
- But that's my point.

- It's my book, my version of reality.
- And we have to drive home together.

My relationship with Barack
was all about our partnership.

If I was going to have an equal voice

with this very opinionated man,

I had to get myself up.

I had to set myself off

to a place where I was confident
that I was going to be his equal.

The thing that really changed it
was the birth of our children.

I wasn't really ready for that.

That really made it harder.

Something had to give,

and it was my aspirations and dreams.

I made that concession,

not because he said,
"You have to quit your job."

It felt like, "I can't do all of this.

So I have to tone down my aspirations.

I have to dial it back."

You shared that
you went to marital counseling,

which I think is so important.

Counseling helped me to look at,

"How do I take control of my own happiness
within our marriage?"

But it's hard. It's hard.

- It is hard blending two lives together.
- Yeah.

Did the marital counseling help?

I went to five marriage counselors.
It didn't help me.

What was the name of yours?

I should have gone to your guy.

That's what I should have done.

So, did it help?

Because, you know, you think...

You go to marital counseling and
you think that they're going to tell you,

"He's right," or "You're right,"
or, "You're wrong."

- And in my view...
- That's frustrating.

I took Barack to marital counseling

so that they would fix him.

Yes.

And then he started looking over at me.
I was like, "Why are you talking to me?"

I am perfect.

He is the problem.

But one of the things I learned
that helped me,

and I think helped our marriage,

was that my happiness is not dependent
on him making me happy.

Yes. Bravo, yes.

And sometimes I felt that
that was one of the rubs.

My resentment for him was that Barack
was prioritizing himself, in a way.

We had babies; he was at the gym.

I was like,
"How do you find time to work out?"

Yeah. Yes. Yes.

"So let me stop being mad at him
for going to the gym

and let me get to the gym," you know?

Did it feel like a show
that you would want to see?

Yeah.
You're just a good storyteller.

OK. Thank you, guys.

Thank you.
It was amazing tonight. Thank you.

- Thank you, guys.
- Thank you.

- Thanks.
- Take it easy.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Good afternoon.

Can you all...? Oops. Sorry.

Good afternoon!

Good afternoon!

This is the Obamas.

This guy you'll hear from later, Barack.

Sasha, better known as "Natasha,"
and Malia.

And I am Michelle Obama.

I'm married to this guy.

She is fantastic.

She really is.

- Done. Thank you.
- Michelle, you ready?

- Not today.
- OK.

There was something
about Michelle Obama.

I quit a job
that I had been in for ten years

to go work for her.

As a friend, I have been by her side
for almost all of this.

See, some beats are just good.

# Look, I just flipped the switch #

Oh, good Lord.

Do you know Melissa loves Barry Manilow?

And I don't even know why we're friends.

We couldn't be more opposite.

That's why we're friends.

Having watched her begin this journey
being so nervous,

you know,
she wasn't crazy about the process.

She doesn't like politics,

and here we were,
dragging her around Iowa.

For the first year of the campaign,
it was exhausting and not glamorous,

and we ate...

a lot of McDonald's.

And she'd lose her voice

by the end of the day,

because that's how hard we were
working her; she was that valuable.

She said to me,
"I don't know if this country is ready

for someone like my husband.

I hope they are, but they may not be."

Here you are on the campaign trail,

and the way that
you were vilified in the press,

the way you were misinterpreted
in the press,

really, was a horrible time

that I think many of us
really were not aware of.

Yeah.

Because I was going around the country
doing big, huge rallies.

It was so much fun.

Please join me
in welcoming Michelle Obama

and the Democratic Party's nominee.

But then the attacks started.

A fist bump? A pound?

A terrorist fist jab?

The gesture everyone seems
to interpret differently.

I was becoming effective
in the campaign,

so they went after me
like they went after a candidate.

It blindsided me.

One way people will try to defeat Obama

is if they can't prove he's a Muslim,

"Then let's prove his wife
is an angry black woman."

And I think it's going to get ugly.

She's out on the campaign trail.

She's making speeches
on behalf of her husband.

She's fair game.

One of her biggest hurdles
will be defining herself

before anybody else does.

Over the course of the campaign,

I was telling my story.

I was being vulnerable.

Let me tell you something.

For the first time in my adult lifetime,

I'm really proud of my country.

And not just because Barack has done well,

but because I think
people are hungry for change.

And to have that distorted,

it just felt so wrong.

Does Michelle Obama dislike America?

I think she's got a chip on her shoulder.

She has a Stokely Carmichael

in-a-designer-dress thing going.

Her instinct is to start

with this, "Blame America.

I'm the victim."

Speaking her mind can get her in trouble.

An angry woman.

She's not warm and fuzzy.

She's adding fuel to the fire.

Michelle must think
about what she's become in her life.

I stopped talking off-the-cuff.

I stopped talking freely.

I used teleprompters.

I had to be much more scripted

than I had ever been before.

I was just, sort of, waking up to...

the truth of who we can be:

so ready to assume the worst in people.

The only thing I can do
is share that that does hurt.

Because if we walk around
pretending like it doesn't hurt,

the perpetrators just say,
"Oh, I was just joking.

It's just politics."

It's, like, "No, no. No, no.

That changes the shape
of a person's soul."

It's important to have a place
that you know as your home.

One place where people know you,
they've seen you grow up,

where people don't have to make up a story
about who you are.

It's what keeps me grounded.

And this tree has been here forever.

This was the tree
where I had one of my first kisses.

Hmm.

That's it.

She always played everything
over and over and over again.

It had to be perfect.

- The bulb is burned out.
- OK.

You can tell it's stale in here.

This was the living room.

And this is...

the radiator that Mom turned
into a chimney for Christmas.

And there used to be mirrors on this wall
to make this look bigger.

I was a teenager here,

and Barack and I lived here
for a year together.

But this is my dad's chair.

He always had some version
of this recliner,

where he would sit and hold court.

And when we all lived here,

his stereo system would be lined up there

with his speakers
and all of his jazz albums.

And the couch was kind of that way.

And he would sit for hours just playing.

He would get into his mood
where he would just want to hear his jazz.

You know, he fills up this space.

I think about all that we did,

and I think about my husband, and...

I always think about him coming home
from work, coming up those stairs.

Mm-hmm.

But him coming up those stairs
was like God returning home.

My father had MS.

It's a disease
that slowly deteriorates the body.

I can't help but think of that time
right before his death

when he struggled to get out
that back door just to get to work,

not giving up, not in the least.

While his death was sudden,

it was always looming.

The pain of losing him is an emptiness
I still haven't gotten over.

I think about all that he gave us,

and all that he wasn't able to see.

He had a way
of making people that he was with

feel his presence.

He just made people feel loved.

My grandma's from Thailand.

A lot of the culture in the house
is kind of influenced by her.

And when I was, like, five years old,
I got this little pencil skirt

and off-the-shoulder top.

Yeah. I tell people
we focus too much on stats and not story.

Stats are, like,
"What college are you from?"

But your story is, like,

"What was your grandfather like?"

"Who was your favorite relative and why?"

What advice would you give to someone

who's trying to avoid
just becoming a stat?

Like, when you go to college
you're not just the kid with the 3.0 GPA,

or when you're applying for jobs

you're not just that person
who graduated top of her class.

How do you avoid just becoming a number?

I think what makes you more than a stat
is once you see yourself,

you see yourself as more than a stat,

and you start thinking, "Who are you?

What do you care about?
What brings you joy?"

And I hope my story urges you
to see the power of your story

and to own that.

Now that I'm going into my senior year,

I'm thinking about how to make sure
I'm doing the right things.

So reading Michelle Obama's book,

we see that she just slowly started
to assert herself,

and all those insecurities
just become, like...

small voices.

Reading about how her family works...

I was like, "Wow.

Wow."

That's our family.

# Caught in a landslide #

In the morning time,
we dance through our morning routine.

We'll just dance through the hallways.

If they're up, pleasant
and having a good morning,

we're playing some music,
you're kind of in good spirits, so...

It helps everybody shake off the cobwebs.

Yesterday's mistake... It's a new day.

I do like these curls. Turn, please.

The sacrifices my mom
would make makes me think, like,

"All right,
just strive to do what you can,

and just be prepared
for whatever life throws at you."

- I love you.
- I love you, too. Have a good day.

I want to be successful,
and I also want to impact somebody.

America opened itself up to you

with that historic election.

And I think everybody in this room
will remember where they were

on that November evening in 2008.

From the minute that
the announcement happened,

the world changed for us.

People came in with briefing books,

and world leaders were calling,
right then and there.

So we had to leave the hotel
to go to the campaign event,

and everything is shut down

when the presidential motorcade
comes down.

Streets are clean. Nothing is going on.

So it's just us in the motorcade,

and Malia's like...

"No one's coming to your party, Dad."

That's what she was saying.

And she was like,
"Oh, I feel bad for you."

I would not be standing here tonight

without the unyielding support

of my best friend for the last 16 years,

the rock of our family,

the love of my life,

the nation's next First Lady,

Michelle Obama.

Yes, we can! Yes, we can!

We'll take a look first and come back.

Good afternoon.

We're going to be leaving the RON to go
to the O2 Arena for this evening's event.

It was at 93%

when we had our walkthroughs earlier,
so approximately 15,000.

- The venue holds 17,500, all right?
- And now it's up to 98%.

For those of you
who have worked these before,

it should be the same footprint,
as far as the buildout and everything.

From her hold to the stage is 65 feet.

The stage is five feet tall.
And there are the six stairs to the back.

She goes through the hockey tunnel.

- Everything OK, Allen?
- Yes, ma'am.

One day, I've got to sit
and see how the sausage is made.

Like, all the pre-stuff that goes into it,
I'm just not a part of.

You know? But I always ask questions.
I always want to know where the guns are.

Because what if somebody
really was trying to take me out?

They would take these two out first.

I could get us to safety, Allen.

You guys, I got you covered.
I'm always thinking.

I know you could.

I'm very confident in that.

Agent Allen.

Allen is more like a brother
than he is an agent.

He was my first experience
of having a detail,

of being on a detail
and having a detail leader.

So that's been... oof!

Well, that's 12 years
of a relationship, if not more.

And I've spent a lot of time
looking at the back of his head.

I've been working
with Mrs. Obama since 2008.

You need to eat a little dinner.

- It's not enough time.
- We know.

Over that time,
if you're around a protectee,

you get to know each other very well.

I'll come back to you.

I'm going to win you over.

The stakes are very high in this job.

It's a no-fail mission,

so you have to get it right
100% of the time.

We took a trip to the Great Wall in China.

It had been planned out
that the girls would have the ability

to take the slide down.

And when Mrs. Obama saw the slide,

she became interested
in wanting to do it as well.

As you can see,
she's smiling and I'm not smiling.

But obviously it's a very special photo.
It's a fun photo.

It's actually one of my favorites.

And that's something I always
have to pinch myself over and say,

"Did I really experience all of that?"

What did you think life in the White House

was going to be like
before you got in there?

Is there any way
somebody coming into that house can know?

Families who have the legacy
of the White House have some idea.

I mean, the Bushes, their daughters
were granddaughters in the White House.

We were not those people.

I didn't know
what the residence part of it looked like,

but I do know, when I went to visit
and have tea with Laura Bush,

there were butlers there
fully-dressed in tuxedos,

which they wore all the time,

most of them African-American
or Latino older men.

What I spent a lot of time
thinking about is,

"How do I make this mansion
with butlers and staff

feel like a home for two little girls?"

First of all, I didn't want them
to grow up thinking

that grown African-American men
served them in tuxedos.

Because, you know, the truth was
that some of those men were my uncles,

and they were the Pullman porters,
and the folks...

And I didn't want my girls
to grow up with that image,

so we had to change the dress code.

It was like, "You can't walk around
every day in a full tuxedo," you know?

Because the girls would have pool parties
and play dates and little kids over.

And it's, like, that just doesn't
even look right to me, you know?

And, you know,
I had to beg the housekeepers.

"These girls have to learn
how to clean their own rooms

and make their beds, and do their laundry.

You cannot do this every day
because they will not live here forever.

And I am not raising kids that don't know
how to make a bed," you know?

So...

Of course the girls were like,
"They make your bed."

And it's like,
"Because I'm the First Lady

and I have a degree."

# I live by my own
Just in case my faith go #

# I live by my own law
I live by my own law #

# I live by my own #

As First Lady,

I was slowly watching myself
being exposed to the world.

I had to become more strategic
in how I presented myself,

because it had the potential
of defining me for the rest of my life.

Fashion for a woman

still predominates how people view you,

and that's not fair,
that's not right, but it's true.

And that's when fashion
isn't just fashion;

it's how you turn it into your tool,
rather than being a victim of it.

There is a lot of thought
that Meredith Koop puts into it.

And I trust Meredith.

She's like my sister,

daughter, friend, everything.

People have these ideas
of a First Lady look.

You're dealing with these outside forces

saying things that don't match up
with this woman.

So I felt a lot of my work
in the White House

was more like costume design.

Dressing her and her children
for this role.

And then it's about, "Let's move
the conversation on to what she's doing

versus some little fashion detail."

I'd make some impassioned speech
and they would say,

"Oh, she was wearing
an interesting designer dress."

So a lot of it was, "OK, let's embrace the
fact that people are looking at my shoes,

not just highlight me and the clothes,

but who we wanted to be
as an administration:

forward-thinking, embracing youth,

embracing diversity.

Now that we're out of the White House,

not to be viewed, judged, and parceled
by every other person on the planet,

yeah, it's better.

It's absolutely freeing.

Oh, my God!

She is not a minimalist.

Like, she's not... Like, hello.

And, I mean,
when I look at this suit, I do see Elvis,

and I don't have a problem with that.

I had to shake all of that up.

But, yeah, it's hard to wake up every day

and maintain that level of perfection

that was absolutely required
of me and Barack

as the first black president
and First Lady.

- Thank you.
- Have a good night.

All right. You, too.

Our presence in the White House

had been celebrated
by millions of Americans.

But others reacted with fear.

When Barack was first elected,

various commentators had naively declared

that our country was entering
"a post-racial era,"

in which skin color
would no longer matter.

Many were overlooking the racism

and tribalism
that were tearing our nation apart.

Barack and I lived with an awareness

that we ourselves were a provocation.

Michael Brown.

Tamir Rice.

Freddie Gray.

Eric Garner.

Trayvon Martin.

Sandra Bland.

When you see people gunned down

because somebody was so afraid
of a kid in a hoodie

that that ended his life...

So how were these people
dealing with the fact

that a black family was in
what they perceived as their White House?

That is the America that we live in.

So if we're going to get anywhere
with each other,

we have to be willing to say who we are.

I am the former First Lady
of the United States

and also a descendent of slaves.

It's important
to keep that truth right there.

My grandfather's grandmother
was in bondage.

People have been taught to believe
in the ultimate inferiority of people

because of the color of their skin.

A death threat against the president.

D.C. police looking into
an officer threatening Michelle Obama.

Gunshots near the White House.

Seven bullets hit the building.

You hoped people were more ready for us...

than maybe what they were.

Barack and I had incredible highs

and incredible lows in one day.

So, on the day that marriage equality
became the law of the land,

it was a very powerful day.

But until I wrote the book,

I forgot that that morning,

we had attended the funeral

of men and women who were killed
in Bible study in Charleston.

# Amazing grace #

# How sweet the sound #

# That saved #

# A wretch #

# Like me #

So imagine coming back
from that heavy experience, flying in.

And then we're at dinner,

and we hear the sounds of people gathering

on Pennsylvania Avenue.

And we had arranged in advance
to have the White House lit up,

celebrating the passage
of Marriage Equality.

And we see this happening
on TV, and I thought,

"We are living in this.

This is outside of our house.
I don't want to watch it on TV.

I need to be a part
of this celebration after today.

I need to be reminded
of how much progress we're making."

But then I had to get out.

So I go to Malia and she's like,
"OK, Mommy, I'm game. Let's do it."

So you walk out your door.
There's a Secret Service agent out there.

And I'm telling Malia,
"Don't look him in the eye.

Don't say anything.

We're just going to walk."

So we get downstairs to that front door,

and I go to open it, and it's locked.

So I am literally shaking it,

and now more Service have been called,

because they don't know
what I'm trying to do.

"What is ma'am doing?"

"What is ma'am doing? Where is she going?
She still hasn't told us anything."

And nobody really wants to ask you,

because they're not supposed to ask
where you're going.

They're trying to pretend
like you have freedom. So...

So I had to turn around and say,
"I just want to get outside.

Help me get outside.

I want my daughter and I..."

So I'm just yelling,
"Get me out of this house!"

And she's like, "OK, I have an idea."

And we ran around some back steps.
We finally got outside.

We were, like, off in a corner,

and we could just barely see
the sides of the lights.

But Malia and I were out.

And I hugged her tight.

But that's sometimes how you feel, like,

"I have to have some indicator
that all of this is worth it,

that we are moving this country forward."

Hi.

- How are you all doing?
- Hi.

Hello.

- Hey.
- It's amazing to see you.

How are you?

What are you looking forward to in life?
And what brings you down?

It's just us reservation kids
going through universities

in the era of Trump.

I see Trump hats every day in classes,

and it's just like an impact
that you can't really describe.

But it's just there, subconsciously,
on a subconscious level.

Could you share any tips
or recommendations?

Yeah, I mean, I can't imagine
how tough it must be for you all.

And I want you guys to have perspective
as you're going through it,

and not let this time shape what will be.

So, you're in school.

Be in school. Get your fricking education.

You know, Barack and I,
all through this presidency,

through the lies
and the stuff they said about us,

all we could do was wake up every day
and do our jobs,

and let our jobs and our lives
speak for itself.

Barack and I are not interested
in being at the forefront forever,

not even for that much longer.

Everybody here is special, right?

You know that, right?
Well, that's why I'm here.

We've got this platform.

If you believe in God,
God gave us this platform for a reason,

so let's not waste it.

- Don't drop the baby.
- No.

- Thank you.
- She's so cute.

It takes some energy to go high,

and we were exhausted from it.

Because when
you're the first black anything...

- Yes.
- You know?

So the day I left the White House,

I wrote about how painful it was
to sit on that stage,

and that a lot of our folks didn't vote.

So it was almost like a slap in the face.

I understand the people
who voted for Trump.

The people who didn't vote at all:

the young people, the women...

That's when you think,
"Man, people think this is a game."

And it wasn't just in this election,
but every midterm.

Every time Barack didn't get
the Congress he needed,

that was because our folks didn't show up.

After all of that work...

they just couldn't be bothered
to vote at all.

That's my trauma.

Being the First Lady
has been the greatest joy of my life.

But as the first family
in the White House,

we had to look at
what we would say in any given moment:

what would that mean to the future?

What long-term impacts would that have?

Your iconic line,

"When they go low, we go high,"

sometimes for many people,
it's really hard to hold onto that.

I'm assuming you still maintain that
and still believe that.

- I try.
- OK, yes.

I try. I try. We're only human.

When you're President
of the United States, words matter.

You know, you can start wars,
you can crash economies.

There's too much power
to be that careless.

And so that's how we operated, because...

we had to be bigger and we had to go high.

The higher up you go,
the higher up you have to be.

We act like it doesn't take a toll on us,

but you do not understand
what toll it takes

on the people around the president.

- Oh, hi.
- Hey, little potato.

- Oh, hi.
- Hi, you.

Oh, hi.

- Hi.
- Good job.

You're so good. I love you too much.

I cried again.

- Why are you always crying?
- No, it's always so...

It's always so...

What made you cry?

But this has demonstrated, in a way,

just, like, damn, those years
weren't for nothing, you know?

You see that huge crowd out there?

And that last speech you gave
about, just, like...

People are here because people really
believe in love and hope in other people.

Yeah.

And also, every time
you guys play Stevie Wonder,

I don't know, I cry a little bit.

I do.

- Where are Taylor and Jane?
- Taylor's in the car.

They're in the car?
Everybody's in the car already?

It's so nice to see you all.

It's nice to see you.

What were you all going to talk about?

Becoming.

I want to eavesdrop.

We saw you last night,

and you said that
you missed your spiritual community.

So I want to ask our group,

what advice would you give our First Lady?

The first reaction, really,
is you've got to find your life again.

There are so many different phases of you,

and a lot of them you forget
while you're childrearing,

and married, and all that stuff.

So my advice to you
is just do what you're doing.

- Keep on doing it.
- Yes.

As my mother says, give it some time.

And I'm so glad you did not get yourself

wrapped up in the fluff
of being the First Lady

and living in the White House,

and, "My husband is..."

Your view of me matters.

Every time we showed up,
we showed up to make you all proud.

Right. And you did. You did that.

When I saw you on television,
when you were inaugurated,

I said, "I never thought
that I would ever see..."

Right.
My mother said the same thing.

And I look back, and my mother
and my father had never seen it.

But it was something.

- I thank you and Barack for that.
- You saw it for them.

I saw it.

So it is a blessing.

- Yeah.
- Michelle, I thank you.

So God is good.

- And you will always be First Lady to me.
- You will always be First Lady.

- Forever First Lady.
- You will always be First Lady.

# Happy Birthday to you #

# Happy Birthday to you #

You guys!

# Happy Birthday, dear ma'am #

Old ma'am.

Oh, you can see the "ma'am."

#...to you #

- I'm rounding to 60.
- I know.

- Yay!
- I can still blow out the candles.

- Thanks, you guys.
- A little gift.

- Oh, yeah.
- A gift?

- A not round-to-sixty gift.
- A gift!

What happens when you round to 60?

- Yikes!
- Yeah.

OK. Is it a magnifying glass?

There you go.

Oh, it's a selfie-cam!

- Yes.
- That will come in handy.

Look at the camera, not the remote.

OK.

What's next in life?

I want to keep working
with young people.

The future of our nation
is up to the next generation.

But I know that doesn't just happen.

Young people need some encouragement.

You've got my eyelashes.

Hi, Michelle.

All right, get it done. Get it done.

How are you?

I love you. You guys
are up next, OK? So proud of you.

Barack and I are empty-nesters,

and that has been exhilarating:

to watch the two little beings
you were in charge of grow up.

I'm excited for her
to be proud of what she's done,

because I think that's the most important
thing for a human to do:

to be proud of themselves.

No longer facing that same scrutiny,

being able to let all of that
leave your mind,

creates so much more space.

I want to take care of me,

rediscover my husband...

My life is starting to be mine again.

There is another chapter
waiting for me out there.

# I will always love you #

# How I do #

# Let go of a prayer for you #

# Just a sweet word #

# The table is prepared for you... #

# You look down on where you came from #

# Sometimes #

# But you'll have this place
To call home #

# Always #

# Still, I'll always be there for you #

# How I do #

- Tonight, the 34-stop tour ends.
- This is it, y'all.

This is it.

What has this journey been like?

What have you learned,
maybe about yourself?

And what has surprised you most
about your travels?

I've had the rare experience
to see the world in this way,

which is why I feel like
I've got to share with you all

that, you know,
the energy that's out there

is much better than what we see.

I wish people didn't feel badly,

because this country is good.

People are good.

People are decent.

I tell you what I'm nostalgic for.

I miss the opportunity we had

to have leaders
who talked to us about hope,

and the possibility of change,
which is what hope is.

Well...

here's what I've learned
just on this book tour.

You know, one of the things
we do miss about Barack Obama

is that he would get out into the country

and he would campaign around hope,

and he would fill arenas,

and then people
would come out and remember,

"Yeah. Yeah. Yeah."

"I do like this."

And then people would be surrounded
with each other,

of all different backgrounds,
and they would go,

"Yeah, I'm not alone in this.

I like this feeling of not being divided.

I do."

If we can open up a little bit more
to each other and share our stories,

our real stories,

that's what breaks down barriers.

But in order to do that,

you have to believe
that your story has value.

Be vulnerable. Dare to be vulnerable.

We're at a crossroads

of where we have to think about,

"Who are we as a nation?"

I remain hopeful
that people want better...

if not for themselves,
then for the next generation.

And that is my basic joy.

You know,
it gets back to mentoring others.

That's what I'm going to do
until people are like,

"OK, you're done, old lady."

I'll just be on stage in a wheelchair,

just going, "And another thing..."

You know? And they'll be, like,
"Oh, that little old Michelle Obama.

She's still just talking," you know?

I want to be the 90-year-old woman
that you just excuse, you know?

Ladies and gentlemen, join me in thanking
Michelle Obama for being here tonight.

Thank you all so much.

- I am becoming a strong...
- Yes.

- ...confident, fierce girl...
- Yes.

...who realizes that I have the power
to change the world.

Yeah!

I am a nonbinary human.

And I am becoming brave

and unafraid to live openly,

truthfully and joyfully.

I am becoming a mom
who is teaching my teenage boys

to value and respect strong,
smart, independent women.

Woohoo!

Thank you!

My parents emigrated from Mexico,

and because of them,

I am becoming a man
who is living the American Dream.