Beast Mode (2018) - full transcript

Hollywood is a cesspool.

God I hate my life.

Everyone sucks, I don't even
wanna get up.

Hey Breen it's
Hampton,

hope you're not still sleeping.

Huckle is as usual, is
not responding to me

and we need him to respond.

We have Pish tomorrow, big
meeting for "Beast Moon."

Beez, he's not staring at
you, he's staring at everybody.

Come on.

You fucking wanker.



This is how you lost more
money on "Gods of Pluto"

than any film in history.

Losing track of your star.

Look, I didn't lose Huckle,
Scram.

Then where is he?

How the hell did you convince
Ali Goldberg

in to giving you 300
million dollars, Breen, hey?

Because I'm awesome and a god.

Yeah, well I'm your
god now motherfucker.

And in case you didn't hear,

being on the bottom rung
of the industry ladder,

Goldberg's running the studio
now and she fucking hates ya.

So I suggest you get your
drug-addled, sex-crazed,

motherfucking client to
that meeting tomorrow!



Look, don't worry, we're
gonna be there at 9 a.m, okay?

And "Beast Moon" is an awesome
project,

that's why you believe in it.

I believe in Huckle Saxton you
moron.

He's selling like used
panties in Hong Kong.

Look, it's not all
about the money, right?

Breen, you're a cocksucker.

Do not let Huckle be late
for that meeting with Pish.

We will be there at 9 a.m.
sharp.

Yeah and you'd better pray
to the gods of Pluto he is.

You do not want to get on my bad
side.

I'm not on your bad side?

You fucker.

Executive producers.

Huckle's gonna blow this
one for you too, isn't he?

Well if you keep thinking
negatively.

Look, I need you to go
feed Beez for me all right,

I gotta find Huck.

Wait, don't you have a date
with Kira?

Yeah, it's our two month
anniversary.

Aww.

Good morning
Hollyweird, Jade Blaze here,

welcome to a quick ZMT FLash.

Our current favorite
bad boy Huckle Saxton,

always up to no good,

is it seems after punching out

the craft department head on
"Beast Moon"

the production has been
officially shut down once again

due to Huckle refusing to
come out of his trailer

for seven days,

costing the production millions
in overhead lost funds,

which makes the reckless
studio producer Breen Nash

look like the captain of
the Titanic right now.

"Gods of Pluto" being the worst
film of all time of course

doesn't make Huckle the
most bankable at the moment

but he feels like "Beast Moon"

can get him back to number
one on the star-o-meter.

He better have a smash on his
hands.

Our beloved boss man, Finnegan
Mutto,

saw a test screening of
Huckle's newest TV pilot,

"Vampire Knights" and
called Huckle's acting,

"The worst performance of
anything I have ever seen."

More like
#hucklesuxton.

In a fit of rage,
Huckle visited Finnegan

outside the ZMT office
and stomped his legs

until his testicles were
smashed.

He was in a full testicle cast
for months.

We're pulling for your
Finny, you'll walk again.

Signing off, this is Jade
Blaze with ZMT Flash.

Son of a bitch!

These idiots don't
understand what it's like

to lose everything.

I need a vengeful man.

I want Huckle's dick in my hand.

I want his legs broken.

His body burned in public

and I want you and the
rest of the idiots I hire

to find him before tonight's
show.

Hey, no I'm at the club.

I gotta find Huck,
okay, just keep calling.

Oh wait, wait, wait,
wait, has Kira called?

I've called her a million
times, she's not calling.

Wow.

Kira!

Fuck me sideways.

What are you doing?

I've called you like a thousand
times.

Oh, I lost my phone.

Well what's that right there?

Oh, you found it, thank you.

What the fuck do you want
Breen?

Oh, I wanna know

if you're gonna make the meeting
tomorrow.

What's the meeting about, your
dick?

Gonna be a short one.

And he's only got
one nut.

He looks like a Ken doll down
there.

That is not true, I have two
nuts.

Remind you of anything She-ra?

Her name's Kira.

A lot longer.

Okay really?

We're going home aren't we dear?

No we're not.

That's disgusting.

Just be at that meeting
tomorrow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
9 a.m, I'll be there.

Can you leave me alone while
your girl sucks my finger?

You be home by midnight young
lady.

Bye Breen!

Well, well, well, if
it isn't Breen Nash.

Not tonight Finnegan.

Hey, let's ask the Hollywood
dinosaur

why homeland security has put
him on the top of their list?

Putting bombs in theaters since
1993.

Very funny, thank you.

But I'm sure he's got a client
in there?

Who's just waiting for me

to take all types of juicy pics,
hey?

Maybe I'll wait 'til he gets
too drunk to recognize me.

Maybe I'll sleep with him.

You take advantage of him one
more time

and I will smash your legs
myself.

I'm gonna destroy him Breen.

And you along with him
if you're not careful.

Just leave us alone, okay?

I mean we got a meeting
tomorrow,

there's nothing to see here
anyway.

Oh yeah, whoa!

You and you.

Yes!

Oh yeah!

Nothing to see,
toodles.

I got a story to crack boss.

Go away Finnegan.

God I hate my life.

Why can't I make a movie
that people like Beez?

I mean is that too much to ask?

Hey Huck, hi buddy.

I know I've called you a few
times,

like seven times now,

but we have 9 o' clock
meeting, right, remember?

I hope you're here soon.

Right behind you asshole.

He's at the bar, I know
he's at the bar right now.

He's at the bar right?

And oh my god, I gotta go get
him.

I gotta go get him.

Where are you?

Pish is gonna be here any
minute.

Listen to me, I need
you to go to the kitchen

and grab me three cups of coffee
quickly,

meet me out front where my car
is, okay?

And I will come...

What are you doing?

Hey, hey!

Oh my God, is he okay?

Why do you ask, I mean,

it's not like I hit him
with my car or anything.

I mean it's not like we
have an important meeting

or anything right now.

He's drunk!

Yes.

Great, I mean what an asshole.

He knows how important
this meeting is right now.

Hello, wake up, come on, wake
up.

Breen he's ice cold.

Hence the coffee.

Open up, it's the police!

Pish.

I got ya!

You did, you got me.

You looked frightened.

So Pish, how's the wife?

She died.

Oh, I'm sorry.

How is your son?

He dead too, same time, double
funeral.

What's wrong?

Wrong?

No, not you, him.

Why he smile, when I say son
dead?

Look, look, look, look,
he's still smiling.

He's happy to be doing "Beast
Moon"

which, let's get down to it
Pish,

are you ready to cashflow this
thing

and get into the Huckle Saxton
business?

Why I see blood on shirt?

Did he whammy the lady I saw
last time?

"I'm an old lady."

No, that is actually fake
blood,

that we were doing a make up
test.

Just part of the process, you
know,

prepping for the film.

Ah, I special effects make-up?

- I like that, I like that.
- Exactly.

I have to be honest with you
Pish,

Huck is...

He partied hard last night.

I mean, he's really happy
to be doing this picture

but he's a little out of it at
the moment.

He is going to be in picture?

100%.

Call the police, I think
he murdered the movie star.

I'm sorry, what did you say?

I said my daughter would
like an autograph from Huckle.

You got a problem?

No, no, I'm just happy she's
alive.

Here's your check.

Next meeting better be
different.

You gotta do something, you
know,

you can't have a hit picture
with him looking like that.

And if it's not a hit, my friend
will do something for you.

And for fuck's sake,

make a better picture
than "Gods of Pluto,"

that's a bunch of.

Thank you Pish.

Looks like you nailed it
slugger, you got the money!

How are you not excited right
now?

Huck's dead.

Sweetie, every career
has its peaks and valleys.

No, he's really dead.

I don't know what happened,
I just went to pick him up

and I didn't , backed up,.

Oh my god.

Oh my...

Come on, come on,
let's go to the bathroom.

- Go to the bathroom.
- I'm gonna be sick.

Who the fuck is this?

Fucking hell, fucking asshole,
no money too probably.

Fuck.

Yeah.

Yeah, got your page.

Chrome here, speak.

Chrome Mangle from Mangle
and Mangle Investigations?

It's just Mangle now, who is
this?

It's me mate, Finny.

Finnegan, don't tell
me I owe you money too.

No, old friend, I wanna
hire you for a skip trace.

I don't do that shit anymore,
you know,

since my, since my brother.

What if I was to tell you
that I've stumbled across a file

that could lead you to
your brother's killer?

Cut it with the sausage
Finnegan, I ain't biting.

Come on down to the office,
we'll discuss it over a drink,

for old time's sake.

I've had more fun with a
couple of doorknobs, goodbye.

So dismount and grease
'em up on my dime.

All right, I'll tell you what,

have a nice fifth waiting
for me and my usual 12 pack.

Of course.

And a nice box of
wine.

Yes.

The clear kind.

White?

Yeah, pinot, that's it,
that pinot grego, that's shit.

Oh and Finnegan?

Yes.

I've built up quite a thirst.

Yes!

Hey Huckle, what's up brother?

Made the trades again.

Well your ass did.

Jeez man, what did you
get into last night?

What are you doing man,
what are you tokin'?

Come on, I know you did
something man,

were you eatin' or cheatin' man?

Were you poppin', droppin',
were you shootin', tootin'?

Smokin, tokin', come on talk to
me Huckle.

Hello, what were you gettin'
into?

TCB, THC, LSD, PCP, DMT,
ecstasy?

The?

Holy shit is he dead?

I'm going to jail.

No one is going to
jail.

What are we gonna do?

Guys, the worst human
being in the world is dead

and we have 10 million dollars.

I'm just a filmmaker

but I'm pretty sure without
the star we're screwed.

So we use a double.

Yeah, I mean we get a
doppelganger.

What?

Hell, Cuba had three Castros.

Is that true?

Guys, he's married,

I'm pretty sure his
wife will figure it out.

Oh god, this is the second worst
thing

that's ever happened to me.

Breen, it's okay,
we'll think of something.

I think I know somebody
that can help us.

Aren't you worried about the
ethical lines

we're crossing here?

I'm a producer now Hampton,
I worry about everything.

Well I guess we're talking

full producer credit
for me too now, right?

Co-pro, come on, I am covering
up a murder you know Muff?

Yeah, not very well if
you keep mentioning it.

Just shut up and try to act
normal.

Okay, just let me do the
talking, right?

Stop, stop pushing me.

Hello good sir,

we are here looking for
an employee of yours,

dark eyes, dark hair, ponytail?

Gotcha, well he had Lunchables.

If he was here and he did work
here,

maybe he's in the back?

Affirmative, let's go look
for him, that way please.

Not bad.

Oh hey, he slimed
me.

Oh my god, I'm so sorry.

Wait, can you take off your
glasses and that hood thing?

Sure.

Holy shit.

What?

How would you like to be a
rich

and famous actor for
the rest of your life?

What do I have to do?

Ready to be a movie star?

Am I gonna be in an actual
movie?

Yes but not you, okay,
let's get you up, okay.

Okay, okay.

You're going to be playing

the role of the famous
Hollywood actor Huckle Saxton.

Huckle Sax, Huckle Saxton?

I love Huckle, I saw "Gods of
Pluto"

in the theater eight times.

Oh perfect.

Is Muff here?

No, what's the emergency
darling?

That's kinda a long story
but I need a little favor.

Of course you do.

Hey, thank god.

Hi, I'm...

Huckle Saxton, we know
who you are knucklehead.

Mighty Huckle Saxton.

Sugarplum, can I steal you for
a sec?

Sure, sure.

Breen Nash, I know two things.

How to get dicks hard and
that boy is not Huckle.

What are you up to?

Huckle is in rehab.

Oh bless his heart.

Is he shootin' again?

No, no, but I'm about to
lose financing for "Beast Moon"

and if I don't start shooting,
like now,

then it's a problem.

I need that guy to look like
Huckle for a couple of weeks,

can you do that for me?

You shoulda just told me.

Eyes yes, hair yes, skin yes,
scars, no.

There's always surgery.

I'm not having
surgery!

Not you baby, you're perfect.

He's disfigured, I can't
possibly cover those scars

for the camera.

Don't you have some kind of
a magic make-up to cover it

or know somebody that does?

I may know someone.

I met him through Trammel
Steadfast.

Wait a minute, isn't that
that psycho make-up artist

that attacked his crew
and jumped off a bridge?

If I make this call,
there's no turning back.

Make that call.

Baby, listen sweetie.

Remember that friend of yours
with that special lotion?

Sorry I'm late.

You were instructed to come
alone.

What, I did.

Then who's that?

Beez, I told you to stay down.

Sorry that's Mr. Beez, he's
cool.

I mean he's not gonna talk
to the cops or anything.

Why I just brought the police
into this mess is beyond me

because there's nothing
illegal happening here.

I didn't bring any cash, you
know,

I didn't know how much it would
be

but I do have a company check
so...

The price would not be
measured by gold but by blood.

Beez, cut it out.

I'm sorry, blood?

If I were to rip your heart
out of your chest, right now,

what would I find?

You know, I've never been
great with the hypothetical.

Good or evil?

I'm gonna pick good.

I mean I'm kind to animals,
right?

And I never litter.

You are what you are and
will become what you are,

no matter what you think you
are.

I'm sorry, did I miss
something here?

What you seek is right
there on the ground.

Wow.

The extract can be used at any
time

but will not work fully
until the witching hour.

And when you say witching hour
you mean?

Midnight.

Copy that.

What is inside will be
outside,

what is underneath will be
revealed.

Now go, you've been warned.

No I'm sorry, I...

Did you see that guy?

I mean the whole ensemble?

The hair, oh, guys like
that, they make me feel

like I just need to be
more assertive, right?

What, don't laugh.

I'm just saying, we could
be in over our heads.

I love you Beez.

I gave him enough Xanax to
knock out the real Huckle.

Is that stuff safe?

Completely safe, hon.

You just sit back and relax,
you won't feel a thing.

What is
inside will be outside,

what is underneath will be
revealed.

Don't use the cream.

Hey champ, how was the nap?

Wow you really passed out for a
bit there.

Now I can call you Huckle.

Some of my scars are still
here.

Don't worry about that, I
mean,

it's not even supposed
to work until midnight.

I don't know Breen, what
if I'm not good at this.

What are you talking about?
Nobody is gonna notice.

Okay, and just get through
that first meeting with Scram

and we can buy a little time

and start working on Flex, your
wife.

Wife?

Yeah.

What if she wants me to, you
know?

Breen, you fuck, it's
D!

Oh, Dustin, god.

He's probably here to beg me
for a role on "Beast Moon."

Fuck you, open the fucking
door.

Dustin Foxxx the movie star?

"Vampire Knights?"

By Lancelot's light, I thy
vampire knight.

What are you doin', don't
do that. He hates you.

Why?

Because you slept with his
wife twice.

Now sit down and don't say a
word, okay?

Open this fucking
door Breen.

Hey buddy.

I want a role in "Beast Moon"
Breen.

We can talk about this at the
office.

Bullshit, I know you're
greenlit.

Yeah, I thought I smelled you
Fuckle.

You know what, I want supporting
Breen.

And none of that scale shit!

Oh no, you're top of the
list buddy, top of the list!

Oh my god, he believed
it, I'm him, I'm Huckle.

No you're not and I said shut
up, okay,

so that means shut up.

You put me in that fucking
movie Breen!

I'm gonna call your agent D.

Oh god I hate his agent.

Suckle Fagston.

Hey buddy, kinda just have one
bathroom.

No, what the fuck is this?

So I need to be wrapping this
up.

You thought I was a monster on
set

when we shot "Gods of Pluto."

Watch what happens

if you don't get me something
good in "Beast Moon."

I don't even care that "Gods
of Pluto" sucked so much,

you know why?

'Cause I believe there are
different spaces and times

and universes out there,

that are the exact opposite of
our own.

So somewhere, somewhere out
there,

"Gods of Pluto" is the
biggest hit of all time

and I am the biggest star in
that world.

You sleep with my wife again,
I'll fucking stab you Huckle.

Did he leave?

Thank god, I hate actors.

Goddammit, oh shit.

Man I miss the old days when
pot used to be illegal man.

Especially when I needed some
weed,

I used to down to the park

and just bust some kids
and take their shit.

Hey, I think I heard
something.

They always used to
complain and shit about it...

Burt, hey Burt!

Burt!

What?

Man come on, I just got
demoted,

I ain't trying to do a desk job.

I think I heard a noise.

Well congratulations
Reynolds, how 'bout this?

Oh come on dude, I'm tryna eat
here.

Sweetie wait, I didn't
know she was gonna be there.

It's a party in the hills,
she's at most of them.

Fuck you Doug.

Hey, hey, stop, I swear

I had no idea Jasmin was gonna
be here.

You're such a lying piece of
shit.

You're a bad lay, you're a bad
liar

and I saw you giving her the
fuck me eyes.

Stay away from me.

Just be logical.

What the fuck was that?

I think we should just
get back to the house.

Where the fuck is the house?

I don't know.

Oh my god!

Oh fuck.

I gotta stop doing drugs.

Hey Muff, what's the
name of that publicist,

Ronnie, Ronnie, Remy?

Renny, Renny, Renny Black.

Yes, yes, I need that guy's
number.

And I also need you and Hampton

to meet me down at Zelda's
salon.

So what now?

We're gonna tap into your bad
boy.

I thought you said you
wanted me to be a good guy?

I'll explain it in the car.

No not you.

Can you just, no I need Zelda.

Yes, okay, let's just start at
the salon.

You're going to
need to look like him,

talk like him, walk like him

and treat others exactly the way
he does.

Okay, okay, you ready?

Yeah.

No, it's a lot of pressure

to be in entirely different
person

and a good actor in just four
days.

Yeah but a good actor
could do both right?

So be a good actor, you got
this.

Besides, she's gonna
yell and scream at you

and lock herself up in the room
anyway so,

play dumb 'til that happens.

Okay.

Okay you got this.

If you need anything, do not
call me.

Okay thanks Breen.

This is my house.

Hello?

Where the fuck have you been
Huckle?

With Breen, training for
"Beast Moon."

Great, thanks for calling
asshole.

How was your night Flex?

I puked up blood while our maid

called me a.

And I know that means something
derogatory so she quit.

Or maybe I fired her.

Haven't showered in a couple
days, wanna smell my pits?

No, why would I wanna do that?

You don't want stinky pits,
are you sick or something?

No, I just, I just wanna tell
you

to get ready for a change.

The new me is gonna be
different than the old me.

Holy shit, your eyes are
clear,

are you getting fucking sober on
me?

You said we were never getting
sober unless I got knocked up

and there's no fucking way

I am letting you destroy this
body.

Can I have $5,000 for Rodeo
Drive today?

I don't have $5,000.

I mean on me.

Fine, keep your precious
money.

You'll see what happens

when my moon-tan lotion starts
selling.

I hate you again.

I'm sorry, can you forgive me
Flex?

What did you say?

I'm sorry?

Say it again.

I'm sorry for being a jerk.

You deserve better.

We are driving up the
coast tonight for dins,

then you're going down on me
for dessert, front and back.

Maybe I'll order beans.

Huh?

Oh.

I have to speak for
this studio here Huck,

we don't need any bad PR.

It was sexy in the beginning,

return of the Hollywood bad boy

but now it's just a distraction.

Yeah, you feel this don't you
geezer?

Ma'am, Scram, I'm a
totally different person.

If you can bet on me on BM,

we can shoot two and three back
to back for half the racks.

We'll fast track "Beast Moon"
for a fall release, Scram?

Well we'll have to dump "Dance
Blade 4,"

push the "Vampire Knights"
revamp

for February, that'll work.

Is that good for you Breen?

Yes, that's great for me.

Huckle we need a moment with
Breen.

Oh, thank you ma'am, Scram.

I'll be outside.

I'll be right there.

You see, brand new Huck, right?

Breen, you're a moron.

I am?

You got his head too straight.

I do?

We don't want him thanking us.

Calling me sir?

Jeez, Ali had security standing
by

thinkin' he might trash the
place.

That's why he's bankable.

We want him on time, sober,
clean, focused on the film

but let's keep him interesting
and entertaining, you idiot.

I got this.

I realize you're completely
incompetent.

But you can handle it, can't you
Breen?

Of course I can, I mean
it's...

Don't fuck this up Breen.

I just love a good white
Wonder Bread sandwich

with some thick white
meat completely covered

in some hot sticky white mess.

That sounds delicious.

You a sandwich guy Breen?

I don't think she's talking
about lunch.

Ice 'em down Finny.

Ice 'em down.

Will the real fucking
Huckle please stand up?

What a jag off.

So he just stood there?

Then he took her to
dinner, no drugs, no booze,

lotta beans, he's gonna
be shitting for a week.

Good, he knew you were
watching.

Nobody ever sees me
watchin' ever, you got it?

Oh for god's sake Chrome,
I'm on your side, let go.

I want that fuckin' file you
fat Ironside fuckin' cripple.

And you will have it.

As soon as you get me proof

that Huckle is doing something
illegal.

I need the ability to destroy
him

in order to get you your file.

You pass arithmetic?

Take a look, see the ink
on his right ass cheek?

That's a bullseye tattoo, right?

All right.

Why is this one clean as a
baby's ass?

Where's the fuckin' tattoo?

What are you suggesting?

I'm suggesting that this
ass don't belong to Huckle.

Not the real one anyway.

These guys, they're always using
doubles

in the movie pictures, right?

Why would he replace himself?

Because the fucking barracudas
that run the movie studios,

they create these actors right?

Who better to replace them?

You think Wooly Workingstiff's
got any idea what,

like, fucking time of day it is?

You think he's gonna know the
difference

between a real actor and a
fugazi?

Oh my god, you are right.

Which begs the hundred
billion dollar question.

Where's the real Huckle
Saxton?

Hello?

Hello?

I gotta stop doing so much blow.

And drink water.

Brown Bomber?

What the fuck?

Help, somebody help me!

Fuck my legs, I can't move.

I'm Huckle fucking Saxton.

Somebody call my manager,
fuckers!

You can't keep doing this
Huckle.

I can't support charities?

Not dressed respectably.

Give him some space chalk
stick.

Out of nowhere, you're
so big yet so stealthy.

You heard her, give me some
space.

I'm trying to manage you.

I was doing just fine until I
met you.

Ooh!

Shut up idiot.

- You see that's better.
- All right, you can get out,

get out, get out, shut
the door behind you.

Maybe I'll make Nectarine my new
manager.

Eat a nectarine, Breen.

I'm so disappointed in you.

I'm off to Crafty.

You need anything puddin' pop?

Okay, so you when I'm back.

What's happening to me?

Invincible.

You know, all things
considered,

things are going pretty well.

Maybe a little too well.

Huckle you've got an
interview...

So?

Okay, okay, okay, listen
up everybody, all right,

don't forget I've got free
drinks on me tonight at The Cove.

How about free drinks
on Breen right now?

All right, that's funny,

we've got our yayas out right
there,

how 'bout we get back to work?

I'm gonna go change my shirt.

Woo!

Everyone take one, I'll be
back.

Who's there?

Am I in hell?

Listen geniuses, this is the
last time

I'm wearing this thing so,
try not to fuck my shit up

when you apply the mask this
time?

We're really sorry about the
rash,

the application will be just
fine.

You think, well then fuck you
two.

Y'all seen my phone?

I already checked my...

Wait a minute, that
was my first suggestion.

Oh, there it is, got it.

You could learn a lot from
that girl.

She's all class.

This occupied.

It's me.

Look, he's not doing drugs
but he's doing something.

It is all on that camera.

So after this tell
Finnegan, I'm done, I'm out.

Would you like nacho?

How're you feeling Huckle?

You know that masks' great
but it's kind of firm on your...

Get away from me!

I will kill you.

Huckle, don't kill me, I love
you!

Wow.

This looks amazing.

I mean, it's a complete waste of
materials

but this looks awesome.

It isn't make-up
Breen.

They said it would come off
if I yank it from the bottom

but it just pulls my skin.

Scars came back Breen.

So I put on the cream
and it struck midnight

and now I can't take it off!

Wait, wait, just calm down,
take a breath, all right?

You think
the Hollywood lifestyle's

getting to me?

Think your grooming process
maybe went a little too far?

It's just make-up
okay, we can get it off,

we'll take it off, just take it
easy.

It isn't just
make-up Breen.

Okay.

I can feel it.

Okay.

I didn't want to.

I told them to get away
but then I had to eat them.

And now I'm going to eat you too
Breen.

Eat me, why would you want to
eat me?

I'm just skin and bones!

I told you to stop asking me.

You ask me again, your client's
gonna start losing points.

One, two, three.

Did you hear me?

And you ever bother me again

after 8 o' clock in the middle
of my run,

I'm gonna find you, I'm
gonna eat you alive,

then I'm gonna find your client,

I'm gonna eat him alive
and then for dessert,

I'm gonna eat your wife.

We have a 1091

near the Woodrow Wilson
Boulevard,

I repeat, a vicious animal
attack near your location.

Sanchez, Reynolds,

you playing with each
other's ding-a-lings again?

Sanchez here.

That was a rumor, it was
just Greek yogurt Sarge.

Yeah, the lab said
otherwise.

But Sarge...

Shut the fuck up.

The mayor's mistress
called, her dog was attacked

right where you two assholes are
parked,

keep your eyes peeled and
your hands off your cocks.

Eyes and ears open sir,
we will shoot on sight.

Shoot to kill Sarge.

You fucking idiots.

You keep your sidearms
holstered, locate the suspect

and contact Animal Control,
understood?

Understood but that was Greek
yogurt!

What a fuckin' asshole man,

why don't he call Animal
Control,

what the fuck we look like?

We are police officers.

Hey man, do you think we're
gonna do,

you know what I'm sayin?

Watch this, watch this.

Hotbox, that's what the fuck I'm
gonna do.

Yeah okay you're right.

The fuck was that?

Hey, what's the emergency?

Okay, minor wrinkle but
Huck has literally turned

into the monster from "Beast
Moon."

Wait, he's acting like
the monster from the movie?

Not acting, he is the
monster from the movie.

He kinda went crazy and killed
Keemsee

and Karla a little bit.

Where is he?

I don't know.

Guys, guys, I set his phone
for tracking

after the whole Betty White
fiasco.

You know, he really
should have won that fight.

Whoa, he's already in west LA.

Wait, on foot?

This is all my fault.

Look, do you still have those
tranqs

in the back of your car?

Of course.

Okay, you tidy up here and
we'll...

Whoa, whoa, tidy up double
homicide?

Look do you want that producer
credit?

It'll open so many doors.

Then go get some cleaning
supplies,

make this place spotless
and I will consider it.

What, I said I'd consider it.

Okay he stopped.

Where?

His house.

Okay, in you go, you go.

I've got your back.

Okay.

Upstairs.

Okay, go.

Did I turn off the stove?

Have I ever even used the stove?

Oh shit.

It's all good in here.

I can't get this mask off
Breen, it's...

Zelda hi, it's Breen.

Is there something you may
have forgotten to tell me?

It's pulling my fucking face.

Breen, Breen, I'm telling you

there's something evil about
this cream.

Hold on buddy, hold on.

So did you tell me everything?

- Yes about the cream.
- Hold still.

I'm sorry, what do you
mean about the oopsie?

Uh-huh.

Like they turn into beasts and
eat people,

that minor detail?

Yeah, yeah, that's a problem.

I need you to get to Hux now.

Oh, I thought you said he was
dead?

Okay then I need to find
Trammel.

What are you doing with the
cream?

Did you use it?

Did you touch it?

No, I was just looking at it.

Jesus.

What is this shit Breen?

I have no idea.

Here, I need you to find
this guy, Trammel Steadfast.

Yeah from MASQ.Effects.

What you know him?

Yeah I mean I PA'd
on "Eat Me Alive Five."

He's a genius with masks.

I hope so, he may be our
only chance to save Michael.

You mean Huckle?

No, I mean Michael.

You missed a spot.

Oh, oh yeah baby.

Ice 'em down baby, ice 'em down.

Five second rule, five second
rule!

I feel fine.

And that never happened.

Sometimes I think you're
the only real thing

around here Beez.

Mr. Beez, am I happy to see you.

If I end up on the river Styx,

I will spit in Death's eye
and take my chances in hell.

Hey Breen, it's
Hampton,

getting pretty close to
Trammel's house

so I'll let you know when I'm
coming back

and you see me as a
producer after this, right?

- What do you want fat man?
- How'd you like to know

what's really going on with
Huckle Saxton?

Why Breen won't allow you near
him on set?

Why he's now such a sweet little
angel?

Who says I care about that?

Oh don't show your ass to me.

I suppose you like being made a
fool of?

Oh maybe you get off

on being the rim of the
studio system's asshole?

Huck and Breen are fleecing you.

And it's real Scram, it
makes scars disappear,

wrinkles vanish, assholes
pucker.

And there's more.

What do you want fat man?

I want the non-redacted
file of the hit and run

you studio goons covered up in
2004.

There was no hit and run.

Okay then, maybe I'll
just put this little video

up on ZMT tonight.

How much?

Oh Scram old boy, some things
are worth more than money.

Hello?

Mr. Ezequiel, Mr. Ezequiel?

Hello, hey, whoa, hey.

How did you do that, I just.

Anyway, I'm not clear
on your return policy

but this lovely stuff is just
not for me

so if you could be so
kind and take it back.

It doesn't work like that.

It doesn't work like that?

Well it's not like you gave me a
manual.

The flower doesn't
sacrifice its life to heal,

it does so to cleanse.

Wait a second, you already
knew

that it turned people into
monsters?

They turned into monsters
because they are monsters, see.

I see you've been marked.

Oh no no, that's just a
little accident, some spillage.

At midnight tonight you will
be judged by the flower.

You may still have time.

Stamp out the evil you have
unleashed

or become a part of it.

What do you mean become a part
of it?

I don't want anything to do with
this.

I mean, what if I mess up?

I might already be a bad person,

Hollywood does that to people.

Either you help people in
this life or you harm them.

Make your choice Breen.

If we meet again, my blade
will be the last thing you see.

Hey hey.

Get a fucking job.

Oh no, you watch movies?

"Gods of Pluto."

You consider that piece
of crap a movie, here,

here pal keep it.

"Gods of Pluto."

Ice 'em down baby, ice 'em down.

Huckle, Huckle you low
life fucking scumbag.

Hello?

Oh my god, don't shoot.

Zelda sent me.

Zelda.

I wouldn't smile if I were
you.

You're standing on a landmine.

Oh my god, Mr. Steadfast,

please I just have a few
questions.

It's a matter of life and death.

You see Mr. Steadfast, my boss
and I,

the other producers and I...

Wait, you're a producer?

Anyway, we came across this
cream,

it's got these amazing healing
properties

and it's killing, oh, well
thanks,

kinda parched from the drive.

Damn, wow.

Where's the cream now?

Well, it's with my boss,

it's already killed several
people.

Below the line people
but people nonetheless.

Then you're already too late
man,

just take what's left, destroy
it

and count yourself as lucky.

What's it made of?

What are the properties?

Why does it make people so...

The parasite is native to the
flower,

it enters the host through the
pores,

it feeds on the basis of human
emotions,

anger, rage, jealousy,
hatred, anything evil.

Decades ago on a shoot in Costa
Rica,

I witnessed a Shaman's healing
ceremony.

Well how did you know that was
real?

I was the one who was saved.

From the first application, it
took over.

I felt great, I looked great,
made my actors look great.

So I had it synthesized and
I sold it as M-A-S-Q, MASQ.

And then as the checks
got bigger and bigger,

the monster got bigger.

And that was the beginning of
the end.

Faking my death was my only way
out.

Right, you used it, you seem
to be fine,

come on, there's gotta be
a way to save me friend.

Does your friend still
have some good in him?

Do you want that producer
credit?

I believe he does.

Then you take this and
put it under his tongue.

In his mouth?

No in his ass, yes, in
his mouth under his tongue

and if he's good, he won't
change into anything evil.

If he's bad, the evil will
remain.

Mr. Steadfast, I can't thank
you enough.

I gotta go give this to him
right away,

can you disarm this thing?

These are just props.

Go, go, go.

Okay, okay.

You just remember kid,
celebrity is a mask,

it fattens the ego, eats the
soul,

until one day you wake up
and you can't take it off.

Flex, you're never
gonna believe the shit

I've just been through.

It's like straight outta a
fuckin' movie.

That's nice, why aren't you in
your tux?

Tux?

Do you have any idea
what I've been through

the last two fucking months?

I knew it wouldn't last,

this is why I never go
to your wrap parties.

What the fuck are you talking
about?

Wrap party, fuck.

I made "Beast Moon?"

Am I dead?

What the fuck is going on?

The wrap party, it's
started.

Oh no, grab the van, we're on
our way.

Hey Muff, it's Hampton,

listen I'm on my way to the
party now.

I talked to Trammel,
he gave me an antidote,

you're gonna think I'm crazy
but it's all gonna make sense.

Hi, hi, yes, I have you guys
down.

Have a good time, thank
you, don't say a word,

where's Michael, stop talking.

He's in there.

You're still talking.

But I need to talk to you!

Breen, I love you dude.

If this tape makes it out,
don't let anybody know

that we used Michael and
traded him for Huckle.

Breen, oi, oi.

Oh Scram.

I've been looking for you
sunshine.

Seems like you've been dodging
me Breen.

Look what are you talking
about?

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

We could have done a
lot of business together

if you'd just been honest with
me.

We weren't supposed to go to
the police

and Breen told me not to say
anything

and I'm living with the guilt

and then I read "Crime and
Punishment" by Dostoyevsky

and it made me feel worse.

Look, I really don't know

what you're talking about right
now

but I'm looking for somebody.

You are going to regret this.

Scram, be nice, go and
get a drink, calm down.

Here you are.

Oh Mrs. Goldberg.

Why so formal, call me Ali.

Ali, I'm so sorry, I'm a
little preoccupied right now.

Rushes they were so fantastic.

Why don't we just go back
to our old arrangement?

You know.

Oh, oh, no, no, no, no, I
can't do that.

I'm not that way anymore, I've
changed.

Oh shit, it's gonna
be tight, Breen hold on.

Oh shit, I'm sorry!

I got you, you're good, go on
in.

Oh shit.

Hi.

Fuck you, you fucking bitch.

You think I don't remember what
happened?

Where the fuck is Breen?

I'm gonna fuckin' kill him!

Oh, no, no, no, no, I don't
think.

Oh my god.

You rolling?

Ready boss, roll.

Now I reveal to the world on
camera,

that Huckle Saxton is
an imposter and a liar

and watch him run for the hills.

Hey asshole.

What the fuck is going on?

Ain't nobody going nowhere.

Stop it you
fool, you'll ruin everything.

How about I ruin you, you fat
fuck?

Who the fuck is who?

Which one of you two lowlife
cocksuckers killed me brother?

He's Huckle, I'm just some
homeless guy.

I'm the imposter, they
turned me into Huckle.

Drop your drawers, let's see
who's got the fuckin' tattoo.

Ah fuck it, I'll kill all
of ya's, just in case.

That is the best promotional
stunt I have ever seen.

What the fuck is going on?

Who the fuck are you man?

I'm so sorry Flex, this is
what I was tryna tell you.

You lied to me.

Shut the fuck up bitch, men
are talking.

Don't you ever talk to her
like that, I would die for her.

You would die for me?

I don't care about any of
this, the fame, the money,

the bathing, you're all I care
about.

You're the best thing
that ever happened to me

and I'm so sorry Flex.

What a minute, what time is it?

I didn't change, I'm not
a monster, I'm Michael.

Fuck this!

Why don't you pick on
somebody your own size Scram?

You better not say shit.

No sir.

Listen dipshits.

Sarge it was Burt, he farted
Sarge.

Monsters
are ripping people apart,

get your asses there now.

We're on the dog.

Breen baby, hold that dick,
I'm coming!

I should have saved this
one for the sequel Breen.

Your bark is worse than your
bite Scram.

You'll never work in this town
again.

This one ends with a twist.

That's the thing about Hollywood,
everyone has a big mouth.

We're here, shit, Breen!

Breen, you have to eat this.

I need my producer credit, come
on.

You all right?

Breen?

It's gonna be all right.

Monster!

No, he's gonna be okay.

Guilty motherfucker.

Hollywood, where dreams are
made and hearts are broken.

Ain't that the truth.