Andy the Talking Hedgehog (2018) - full transcript
After a girl's wish for all animals to have the ability to speak comes true, local robbers try to capture her talking hedgehog.
[bright music]
[soft music]
- [Andy] Hi, how ya doin'?
I'm Andy and right now,
I'm being kidnapped
by this total jerk!
[mischievous music]
- You're my winning lotto
ticket, you little rat.
No little girl is gonna
keep me from my millions.
- [Andy] Okay,
hold this thought.
We'll get back to
my kidnapping later.
And I know what you're thinking,
how can you understand me?
Well, stuff like that
happens sometimes.
Call it magic, call it whimsy.
I call it normal 'cause we
animals talk all the time.
You people simply just
don't wanna listen.
But let's back up
a few days ago.
Meet little Lily Mason,
she's my best friend.
A few days ago, she made a
wish that changed everything.
- Nice day to play
outside, right, Andy?
[Andy squeaks]
[bird chirping]
Hi, bird!
Hi, Mr. Tree!
- [Andy] Okay, okay, why don't we back it up a little bit?
Before this entire
wish thing happened.
First, I'd like you
to meet Lily's family.
- How's your coffee, hun?
[cheerful music]
- [Andy] That's Mely, she's
Lily's super cool mom.
- Uh, oh, it's, mm.
Great, thanks, dear.
- [Andy] Oh, this
guy here is Bob.
He's Lily's dad, he works a lot.
Yeah, he does whatever it
is that those big humans do
when they're not home eating.
- Hey, princess.
[curious music]
- [Andy] That's Tina,
Lily's funny, older sister.
She likes boys and pop music.
- Hey, Daddy.
[Andy chuckles]
- [Andy] She's also
a great belly-rubber.
Okay, just a little belly rub.
Maybe a little bit under
the chin would be nice, too.
I'm just gonna kick my foot.
- Sit, Tina, breakfast.
- I'm fasting, Mom.
- [scoffs] You can fast later.
I made eggs and you're eating.
- I have to lose five pounds
before the league tryouts.
- No, you don't.
- You're perfect
the way you are.
- You say that 'cause it's true.
[girls giggling]
[Whiskers meows]
- Bob, would you call
off your critter please?
He always hisses at
me when I'm cooking.
- Whiskers, cut it out!
- [Andy] That's Whiskers,
Bob's pet from the old days.
Whiskers has serious
issues, mainly with me,
but we'll talk more
about that later.
- Lily, honey, breakfast!
- Coming, Mom!
Bye, bird, bye, Mr. Tree!
Boy, I sure wish
you could all talk.
- [Andy] And that's where the
magic begins, with a wish.
As you probably guessed,
I'm the family
hedgehog, name's Andy.
No last name, just Andy.
- [Fairy BFF] Hey, kid.
- Hi, where did you come from?
- [Fairy BFF] The
bushes, step in.
[mystical chiming]
- Wait, where are we?
[birds chirping]
- In Fairyland, and be
careful what you wish for.
- [Lily] What?
- Be careful what you wish for.
It's a famous saying like
you better watch out,
you better not cry,
you better not pout,
I'm telling you why.
- That's a Santa song.
- Oh, right, anyways.
- Who are you?
- That's a good question.
I'm someone who can
grant a wish for you.
- You can?
- Yep, that's what I do.
- Wow, I'm Lily!
- I know.
- You do?
- Yep.
I'm your Fairy BFF.
I know all about
you and Andy, too.
- Wow, I have a Fairy BFF?
- So, your wish, Lily.
- Well, it's a big one.
- I hope so, this
is my first big job.
I gotta do it good for the boss.
So tell me, girl!
- I wish all my
friends could talk.
- Okay, that sounds pretty easy.
You're a little girl, so Iguess all your friends can talk.
- No, I mean my other friends,
like the birds and
flowers and Andy.
- Hm, talking flowers,
birds, and animals.
I think I can do that.
- Really?
- Yeah, all things growing,
chirping, or squeaking,
get ready to do serious
people speaking!
- [Andy] And that was it.
With those magical words,
I was able to speak.
Of course, so was Whiskers, ugh.
But more on that later.
- Okay, done deal, Lily.
- Really?
Andy, it really worked!
- [Andy] I guess it does, Lily.
- Andy?
- That's my name, kiddo.
Don't wear it out.
- We can finally
talk to each other,
but your lips aren't moving.
- [Andy] Well, why should they?
A lot of people's lips move,but they don't really say much.
- [chuckles] Smart little fella.
- [Andy] Oh, thanks,
funny-looking
little fairy chick.
I get that a lot.
- Thank you, Fairy BFF.
- Muah!
- And can all my
friends hear Andy, too?
- If you want them to.
Do I rock or what?
[door creaks]
- Lily, sweetheart,
come on in now.
- Coming, Mom!
[mystical chiming]
Come on, Andy.
[playful music]
- [Andy] Hey, I
just work here, kid.
You're driving.
- I still can't
believe you can talk!
- [Andy] Miracles
happen everyday, Lily.
Oh, no.
[silly music]
- What is it?
- [Andy] This means that Whiskers will be able to talk.
Oh, good grief!
- Come on, he's not so bad.
He's just kinda old, that's all.
- [Andy] He doesn't like me.
- Don't be silly.
- No, trust me.
He has hedgehog envy.
- What?
- Never mind.
- Oh, hi, boss!
- Missy, do you realize
what you've just done?
- I did my job,
I granted a wish.
- You violated a 31A Directive
that forbids us from allowing
flowers, animals, or birds
to talk to people.
Didn't you get that
in your training?
- Um, no, maybe I was
out sick that day?
- [Fairy King] Missy, what
am I gonna do with you?
- Oh, please don't turn
me into a toad again!
Last time, ribbit.
You have no idea
how that stings!
- You should have called
in for a Fairy Lifeline.
Instead, you just cast
your spell all willy-nilly.
- [Fairy BFF] Well,
I am a Fairy BFF
and it's kind of
a job description.
- You have no idea of the
problems you've caused.
[magical music]
- Oh, don't be so
negative, boss.
The kid is happy and the world is unicorns and rainbows.
- You are so young.
[Fairy BFF softly croaks]
- [Andy] I had no
idea how many problems
this would cause either.
But the big fairy was right
'cause that's when the
bad guys showed up.
[mischievous music]
[Bubba cheerfully humming]
- Gee, Roller, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean it!
- You big dummy,
what's the matter you?
- I'm sorry, you scared me.
- I don't know why I bring
you out on these jobs.
- Oh, because
we're best buddies.
- Wrong!
- Oh, because I'm
a good gardener.
- Wrong, again.
- I don't know, why?
- I don't know
and it worries me.
- [Andy] I mean, just
have a look at this guy.
You can tell that
he's up to no good.
The fat one's not so bad though.
I like him, he's funny.
[mischievous music]
- Look at this!
I'm gonna be itching until
night and everything.
[speaking in foreign language] - Come on, Roller.
- Oh, hey, I forgot!
[curious music]
Hey, dummy, get a load of this.
It's a contest.
- A contest for what?
- To find the weirdest
thing you can in your home
and put it on the internet.
- Wow!
- Wow is right.
And you are gonna help me win.
- I am? [speaking in foreign language]
- How?
- Just by being you.
- Just by being...
I don't get it.
- You know, your talent.
- Oh, gee, Roller [stuttering].
I don't want the
world to see that.
It's embarrassing.
- Come on!
You do it all the
time down at the bar.
- Yeah, but that's for the guys.
- Look, the winner of
this contest wins $10,000!
That's like
$3,000 each!
- Oh, where do I sign?
- Yeah, that's the spirit.
- Yeah.
- Okay, let's practice.
- Yeah.
- Are you ready?
- Ready!
- Okay.
[harmonica music]
[Bubba belching]
[Bubba farts]
[playful music]
- Hey, you guys,
Andy can talk now.
- Sure he can, brat.
- No, really!
Go ahead, Andy, say something.
Go on, Andy, say something.
[Whiskers meows]
- Breakfast is on
the table, honey.
- Come on, don't be like that.
He's just being shy.
- Of course, he is, dear.
That's what hedgehogs
do, I guess.
[clears throat]
Okay, uh, I gotta go.
Honey, where's my briefcase?
- In the living room, hun.
- Yeah.
[doorbell rings]
- [Tina] I'll get it.
[door creaks]
- [laughs] Hey.
- That's Trixie.
She's Tina's cheer-mate
and best friend.
She's really nice, but
I'll be honest with you,
she's not that smart.
- Hey, Trixie.
Come on in.
[soft music]
- [Mely] Trixie,
did you eat yet?
- No, I'm fasting.
- Oh, right, league finals.
- See, Mom?
[soft curious music]
[Trixie sniffs]
[Whiskers hisses]
- Doggone it, Whiskers, stop it!
Lily, now, what's
wrong with her today?
- The same thing that's
always been wrong with her.
She lives in her own la la land.
- That must be nice.
- Oh, don't worry, honey.
You do, too.
- Really?
[Tina laughs]
Is it 'cause I'm dumb?
[girls laughing]
[soft piano music]
- Okay, you ready?
- Yeah, boss.
- Let's go.
- Come on, Roller.
- Okay, we got to get up here
and clean the gutter, okay?
- Yes, sir.
- Easy, easy, easy.
Use your height.
Oh, [speaking in
foreign language].
Okay, be careful, we don't
want to break the window.
Ah, I'll hold this,
you step back here.
- Okay.
- We got to do this and that.
Okay, are you ready?
- Yes, sir.
- Okay, now we have
to try to stand it up
and not to break anything.
I don't wanna have to pay, okay?
It's heavy.
- Look, at these two bozos.
I could set up a ladder and
I'm only three inches long.
- Okay, what's going on?
[soft music]
- [Andy] I can't talk in
front of anyone else, Lily?
- Why not, that was my wish?
- I know, but--
- But what?
- [Andy] Because, little Lily,
a hedgehog knows that if folks get wind of a talking animal,
only trouble is
gonna come from it.
- That's silly,
no one will care.
- [Whiskers] [scoffs] No
one will care, she says.
[laughs] I'm an
old animal, child.
Believe me, if any of
these humans saw me
or that walking little
porcupine talking,
there'd be some serious trouble!
- That, I don't believe it
and I'll prove it to you.
Hey, Tina, Trixie!
- Maybe we should fold
it first, get it up here,
and then open it
up and put it up.
- [Bubba] I was
thinking the same thing.
- Sure, okay,
let's go back here.
- [Bubba] How'd you know?
- Put it down like
this and like that.
[ladder rattling]
- [Bubba] That's why you're
the brains of this operation.
[speaking in foreign language]
- Okay, now, bring this end in.
Okay.
Now, we got to
get this up there.
Oh, wait a minute,
this is backwards.
Grab that end.
You ready?
- I'm ready.
- Turn.
- Turning.
- Okay, turn.
- I'm turning.
Gosh, yeah.
- Okay, stop.
I said, okay!
- Okay, okay.
- The other way.
- Oh, okay.
- Okay, set it down straight.
- I'm listening.
- What's the matter you?
- How's that?
- Watch your toe, monkey.
[Bubba squeals]
It's very hard to get good help.
[soft piano music]
- What do you want, munchkin?
- I want you to see something.
- Lily, I see Andy and
Whisker every day, okay?
- Not like this, come on in.
- Why?
- So you can hear Andy
and Whiskers talk.
- Space cadet [sighs].
- Like really talk?
Like, can they actually talk?
- Trixie!
- I wanna see.
Can you actually
talk, little rat?
- [Andy] I'm a hedgehog,
sweetheart, not a rat.
- Oh, my God!
- That is so bomb!
I can't believe he
can really talk.
- Told you!
- Okay.
I need you to hold the ladder
while I go up there
and clean the gutter.
I think I can reach it.
Now, don't let go.
I don't have good
health insurance, okay?
All right, Bubba.
Stay attentive, pay attention.
[mischievous music]
[bird chirping]
- Oh, a birdie!
[hands clapping]
[Bubba laughing]
Hi, birdie!
- [Lily] Do it again, Andy.
- [Andy] Lily, I'm
in a pretty strong
bargaining position here.
- What?
- [Andy] If I talk,
will you do me a favor?
- Sure, we're pals, right?
- Right.
- So what do you want, Andy?
- [Andy] I'd like to go
wander around for a bit.
See the sights, I don't know.
Maybe even take in the backyard.
- I understand, okay, deal.
- Wanna rub my belly, Tina?
- Oh, my God!
[speaking in foreign language]
[Roller screaming]
[ladder clattering]
[Roller painfully moans]
- Bubba.
- Roller!
- Help me, Bubba!
- Gee, Roller, I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
Come on, get outta there!
[Roller painfully moans]
[clumsy music]
- Bubba, get off of me!
- Gee, Roller, I'm sorry.
I couldn't hold
the ladder still.
- Andy, are you, have
you been possessed
by an alien or something?
- No.
[cellphone camera clicks]
I'm still the same lovable Andy
that you belly rub
for world peace.
- Now do you believe me?
- I believe you, baby girl.
[cellphone camera clicks]
I just don't get it.
I mean, this is bigger
than we landed on the moon.
[cellphone camera clicks]
- I don't remember landing
on the moon [scoffs].
- [Whiskers] Now you've done it.
You'll see what this
leads to, you little rat.
- You guys are
going to be famous.
- Really, is that good?
[cellphone camera clicks]
- [Whiskers] No, it isn't.
- Sure, why not?
- Wow!
This is so big!
I gotta text Tori.
- Why?
- She is super smart
and our team captain.
She'll know what to do.
- [heavily breathing] We
are going to be rich, Bubba!
- How?
- I just have to figure out
a way to get inside and get
my hands on that little rat.
- On what rat?
[door creaks]
- Mr. Roller,
Bubba, are you okay?
[Roller painfully moaning]
- Aw, yes, ma'am.
We are fine.
Just a little fall
[heavily breathing].
We'll finish up here and
then we'll be inside,
so we can do our termite
inspection inside.
- Termite inspection? [speaking in foreign language]
- It's our weekly special,
I wanted to surprise you.
- Well, okay, I don't
think we have any termites,
but you guys are experts, right?
[speaking in foreign language] [bell dings]
- We are experts.
- Okay.
- Mely really wasn't
so sure about them,
but she did let
them into the house
and that's where the
real trouble started.
But first we're gonna meet Tori, the cheerleader captain.
- Okay, I'm here and I'd
better see a talking pet.
This better be good.
[door creaks]
- Bye, honey!
No!
- Oh, hi, Mr. Mason.
- Hiya, Trixie.
- Oh, no, I'm Tori.
Trixie's my dummy cheer-mate.
- Oh, right.
- Yeah.
- All right, well, have a greatday at school then, Terry.
- Oh, okay, thanks.
Bye, don't work too
hard, Mr. Mason!
Bye!
Fox.
Dang.
- Okay, so you sit downstairs
with the wife and distract her.
I'll go upstairs and get
that little rat and--
- You all right there, guys?
- Oh!
- Yeah, hi.
- Hi, sir.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- Are you off to work?
- No, vacation, Hawaii.
Yeah, I'm off to work, yeah.
[Bubba and Roller chuckling]
And to get there, I gotta go
in that car door right there.
- Oh, yes, sir.
- Yeah.
- Bubba, you're
in the man's way.
Move.
- I'm sorry, sorry.
- Yeah.
- I'm sorry about him.
Bubba is not that smart, okay?
- Okay.
- All right.
Okay.
- You just go here.
I'll go in.
- Okay, yeah.
Arrivederci!
- Okay, ciao!
- Bon voyage!
- Bye-bye.
- Let's go.
[playful music]
- Hi, Tori, the
girls are upstairs.
You guys better hurry soyou're not late for first hour.
- Don't worry about
it, Mrs. Mason.
I'll heard the girls
out super fast.
- Now I know why you're
captain of the team.
- It's all about
being in control
and never losing your cool.
I'm thinking of writing a book.
It would really
benefit women like you.
[Mely annoyingly laughs]
- Go upstairs, Tori.
[knife clacks]
- Okay, what is this
crap about talking pets?
- [Andy] Hey, watch the
language there, sugar lips.
[Tori thuds]
- Oh, gosh, the
hedgehog killed her.
[curious music]
It'll look good on
social media though.
[cellphone camera clicks]
Selfie.
[cellphone camera clicks]
- She's not dead, Trixie.
- [Andy] Lily, I kept
my bargain with you.
Could I go wander
around on my own now?
- [Whiskers] Do you even
have the slightest idea
what a dangerous
world it is out there?
- [Andy] Sure I do.
Wait, what do you mean?
- [Whiskers] What
I mean, hedgehog,
is there are things outside
that want to eat you.
- [Andy] What, is that true?
- You kept your
word to me, Andy.
- [Andy] Okay,
little cheerleader,
you're kind of layin' in
the middle of my floor here.
I'm just gonna, I'm gonna have to climb up and over you.
Don't wake up please 'cause
that would really scare me.
- [Whiskers] Enjoy your
freedom while it lasts.
[Whiskers maniacally
laughs and coughs]
- Why does Daddy keep that
mean old Mr. Whiskers?
I like him even less
now that he talks.
- He's just old, that's all.
He's grump.
[Tina sighs]
- [Andy] I'm free, I'm free.
I'm actually walking
around all on my own.
I don't have
anybody carrying me.
I don't have
anybody watching me.
I don't have any
responsibilities.
I don't have any plans.
I've got my entire
life in front of me.
I've got stairs; I didn't
think about stairs.
Okay, I'm just gonna peak
my head over the edge here.
I'm just gonna peak my head.
Oh, wait, wait, ah!
[Andy farts]
Okay, that was one stair.
How many more stairs
does this house have?
[mischievous music]
- [Whiskers] What's
your scam, boys?
- Fantastico.
[Bubba stutters]
- The animal talked!
[speaking in foreign language]
- [Whiskers] And I
asked you a question.
What do you guys want
'cause you look shifty,
and I like that about you.
- We need ourselves
a talking animal.
- [Whiskers] Well, there's
plenty of those around here.
[speaking in foreign language]
- I noticed that.
Grab him!
- You touch me
and I'll never talk again!
The whole world
will laugh at you
and call you a
couple of dummies.
Now, what if I told
you two boneheads
that I could get you
a cute little hedgehog
that never shuts up?
- I'd say that sounds
like a pretty good deal.
We'll make it worth your while.
- [Whiskers] [scoffs]
Of that, I'm sure.
- [Andy] Wow, sure is
nice out here today.
Cool breeze, autumn; I've
always cared for autumn.
Oh, hi there, Mr. Bird.
How are you?
- [Bird] Lookin'
good, little hedgehog.
- [Andy] And plants,
you can talk, too.
- [Flowers] We sure can, Andy.
- [Andy] There's a lotta
good stuff to sniff out here.
I've never really
noticed it before.
A lotta good places to pee, too.
Whiskers doesn't know
what he's talkin' about.
He's just old and, wait
a second, is that milk?
Did Lily put out milk for me?
It is, I love milk!
Milk, milk, milk, milk, milk.
This is a nice little flower.
Lily likes flowers.
I think I'd like to bring
this flower home for her.
Oh, wait a second.
Actually, it's kind of
makin' my face itch.
Oh, okay, ah, oh, that's
nice, that's better.
What should I do next?
Hey, I wonder if my friend Mike
wants to come over
for some milk?
I love milk, I'll bet
Mike would like milk, too.
- [Mike] Andy, my
knees are actin' up.
My tendonitis is actin' up.
These veterinarians, man,
they don't know what
they're talkin' about.
- [Andy] Mike, for crying
out loud, just drink milk.
Ugh, I had to send Mike home.
That guy was a major downer.
I'm gotta tell ya,
I think I liked him a lot
better before he could talk.
Oh, look at this, too.
Bob was out here
grillin' a week ago.
He dropped a piece of
sausage, it's delicious!
I'll bet if Mike were here,
he'd be complaining that
it's just turkey sausage.
Hm, I love it.
Sausage, sausage, sausage.
[dog barks]
Ooh, what's that guy over there?
Uh-oh, wait a minute.
Is that a dog?
[dog barking]
Stay very still,
he doesn't see me.
He does, he sees me!
Run, scramble, run!
I can't, my legs are too small.
He's coming very, very fast.
[dog growling]
He's a very fast dog, ball up.
Get in the ball,
get in the ball!
[dog growls and barks]
Is he gone, is the dog gone?
Will somebody talk to me?
I've been rolled up like
this for an hour now.
Wow, I'm exhausted.
[playful music]
Being outside is really tiring.
[Andy yawns]
Maybe I'll just have a
little nap on this rock here.
[Andy snoring]
- [Whiskers] Okay,
you two bozos,
I want 20% of the take
and points on the backend.
- Net of the cost.
- [Whiskers] Do I look
like a jerk to you?
Heck no, gross.
- That's robbery!
- [Whiskers] Well,
what do ya say, shorty?
Do you wanna talkin'
hedgehog or not?
- Hmm.
- He's got a point.
[mischievous music]
- Deal.
[bell dings]
- Back already, Andy?
- Yeah.
- Did you have fun?
- [Andy] Fun really isn't the
word that I'd be lookin' for.
- Girls, this is amazing,
a talking hedgehog!
- I know, it's so fetch.
- Trixie, fetch
is so Mean Girls.
Find another catchphrase.
- Okay [laughs].
- You look out of breath, Andy.
- [Andy] I had a dog issue.
- We have to get that rat today.
- Yeah, but he's
awful cute, ain't he?
- [Whiskers] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's cute, but he ain't dumb.
This operation needs to
be handled delicately.
- Do you have a plan?
- Okay, girls, we've
got to exploit him.
- Exploit him, you
mean like blow him up?
- No, honey, I mean,
we have to show the
world what Andy can do.
- Oh.
- How?
- And why? - So that we can become famous
and meet the Kardashians.
[girls giggling]
- I don't know, guys.
- Don't worry.
Andy won't get hurt.
In fact, he may even
get a girlfriend.
- A girlfriend?
- Yeah, you like that?
- Can I eat it?
- No [chuckles].
A girlfriend is like a mate.
- [Andy] What can
I do with a mate?
- You'll figure it out.
- Don't worry, Andy, I'd
just go for the food.
[cellphone camera clicks]
- Listen, all I'm saying
is that we show Andy off
at the science fair.
- But I was supposed to
be the science project!
You promised!
- Honey, we were gonna
show them why you're
the perfect candidate
for a brain transplant.
- Yeah, and you're sure that's better than Andy talking?
- I don't know, maybe.
Wait, how come I'm
the perfect candidate
for a brain transmission thing?
[silly music]
- I think we should get
Andy's opinion on this.
- [Andy] I don't know.
I mean, I guess
if it doesn't hurt
and you guys are down
with it, then okay.
- That a piggy!
[hand knocking]
- Yay!
- Double yay!
- Okay, everyone
out of here fast.
- What's going on?
- Emergency termite inspection.
This room is full of bugs.
- Termites?
- Ew, no, no, no.
- Sorry, kiddo, you
can leave him here.
He'll be safe.
- Okay.
Gotta go to school, anyway.
Bye, Andy, see ya later.
- Ciao.
[playful music]
- [Whiskers] Hello, hedgehog.
- [Andy] But there
aren't any termites
in this place, Whiskers.
- [Whiskers] I don't
know about that, Andy.
- [Andy] I smell a
rat and it's you!
- [Whiskers] Now, would
I do anything dishonest?
- [Andy] Does a dog
love peanut butter?
- [Whiskers] You're
a smart little rodent
and that's why you're
gonna make us rich.
- Gee, Roller, he
doesn't look too happy.
- He's a rat, Bubba,
happy-shmappy.
Give him a cracker,
he'll be happy.
Now, come here. - And the next thing you know,
I was being stolen by bad guys.
- What's goin' on
with those girls?
- Termites.
- Oh, my gosh.
We have them after
all, don't we?
- I guess, that's
what Mr. Roller says.
- Well, get your things, honey.
I'll have to drive
you to school now.
- Okay.
- Okay, the coast is clear.
- Now what?
- Now, we need to
find a video camera
so we can record him.
- Hey, morons.
[speaking in foreign language]
We've got smartphones
now, 21st century stuff.
You can film the
hedgehog on the phone!
[fingers snapping]
- That's a good idea.
[suspenseful music]
[engine rumbles]
Wait!
Oh, what's he doing back here?
- [Whiskers] He's always
forgetting somethin'.
Okay, okay, quickly get
the hedgehog back upstairs.
[dramatic music]
Get up, fat boy;
move, move, move!
[dramatic music]
[Bubba farts]
- No, Jerry.
No, of course, I
don't like the deal.
Tom is a great quarterback.
He's worth more than 5.6.
He's first-ballot
Hall of Fame no doubt.
Right, well, let's
get it up front.
Sure, if Bill will present
it for us, that's great.
He's gonna play well.
No, they want long-term.
[keys jingling]
[lock clicks]
And that money needs
to be guaranteed.
Hey, Whiskers.
- Hey, Bob.
You forget somethin'?
- Excuse me?
- I asked you
if you forgot anything.
- Yeah.
Jerry, I'm gonna have to
call you back [laughs].
'Scuse me, are you
actually talking?
- Yeah, I am talkin'.
[Bob laughs]
- Okay, yep, I'm havin'
a nervous breakdown.
- [Whiskers] You're not, it's
just one of those crazy days.
- Mely's right, I've
been workin' too much.
I am seeing and hearing things.
- [Whiskers] Why don't you
sit down, have a drink?
You can pour me one, too, ha!
- No, no, I think I'm just
gonna go lie down somewhere.
- Get back here, you little rat.
[Roller banging]
- What was that?
- Termites.
- That sounded like a
lot more than termites.
Careful there, Whiskers.
- You got it, Bob.
- And he's still talking.
I need to sleep.
- That doggone rat got away.
- Anybody up there?
- Hide, dummy, hide.
[mischievous music]
- [Bob] Andy, what are
you doin' outta your cage?
- [Andy] I've been dealin'
with a few problems, Bob.
No worries.
[soft piano music]
- And you're talking, too.
Hm, yep, I am losing my mind.
- [Andy] You okay, Bob?
You've got a funny
look on your fact.
- [laughs] I'm fine, Andy.
I am just going insane.
How about we go have
a little lie-down?
What do ya say?
Yeah, okay.
[soft piano music]
[Bob heavily sighs]
- [Andy] Sorry I'm talking, Bob.
I had nothing to do with it.
- Meh, sure ya didn't, Andy.
- You believe me?
- Of course, I believe you.
Because I'm losing my mind
and you are part of my
mental disintegration.
By all means,
please keep talking.
I'm almost getting used to it.
- Oh, okay then.
- Mm-hmm.
Do you talk too,
creepy little doll?
- [Fairy King] See
what you've done?
Bob thinks he's going crazy.
- And that's my fault?
- Well, who else?
Little Lily wants her
animals to talk to people
and now everything's
goin' crazy.
- How can I fix this?
- That's your problem,
but you better think
of somethin' quick or.
- Or what?
[suspenseful music]
- Get used to life
on a lily pad.
- No!
- Hm, I need coffee.
- And now I'm hearing voices.
[suspenseful music]
[spring creaks]
[Bubba screams]
- [Andy] [laughs]
That's my favorite part.
I love the look on
the fat one's face
when Bob sits on him.
Whiskers, can we play it again?
- No!
- Oh, come on, please?
- Oh, fine.
[suspenseful music]
[spring creaks]
[Bubba screams]
- Yep, hearin' voices
everywhere, Andy.
[Bubba squealing]
I think I need a lie-down.
What do ya say, buddy?
Let's go have a little
snuggle in my room?
All right.
[suspenseful music]
[Bubba heavily sighs]
- [Whiskers] Idiots, I can't
work under these conditions!
[school bell rings]
- Lily, in here!
[mystical chiming]
Lily, listen, we got a problem.
- The bathroom transports
me to Fairyland?
- It's a bathroom, all girls
gossip in the bathroom.
It's a well-known fact.
- Okay, what's wrong?
- Everything, look!
- Mely always told me this
was gonna happen one day.
That day is today, Andy.
Major mental meltdown.
[playful music]
You know, Andy,
when I was young,
I used to be a heck
of a football player.
I was All-Conference, All-State.
I thought I was
invincible, you know?
I thought I could do anything.
Never thought about growin' old.
Never thought about
days like today.
[laughs] I mean, how could I?
You know, you and me talkin'?
Yeah, I used to think
I could do anything.
Make the big play,
the touchdown,
the game-saving tackle
[softly chuckles].
Now I don't feel like I could
really do anything, nothing.
- [Andy] You can still
do anything, Bob.
You can still make thattackle, if you believe you can.
- [chuckles] How'd you
get so smart, Andy?
You're a hedgehog.
- [Andy] I don't know.
I guess it came
with the magic wish.
[Bob sighing]
- That's nice, Andy, I like
when you cuddle like that.
- [Andy] I like you, too, Bob.
[magical music]
[birds chirping]
- [Fairy BFF] So you
gotta fix this, Lily.
I'm sorry.
- But I love my wish,
and it's not that big of a deal.
- That's where you're wrong.
A lot's going down
because of me.
- But, no, I'm not
gonna change my wish.
- You don't have to
change your wish.
You just have to
wish another wish
so it reverses
the original wish.
- But what if I don't
want another wish?
Andy and I can finally talk now.
He's the only one
that understands me.
- I know what it feels
like to be misunderstood.
- You do?
- Big time.
Will you at least think about
making another wish, please?
- But what if I don't
want another wish?
- Then your Fairy BFF
is gonna be turned
into a toad forever and ever.
- I don't get it.
- Just think about it, okay?
- Okay, I'll think about it.
- Who are you talking to?
[girls giggling]
- [Mr. Koogan] [clears throat] Excuse me, Ms. Hobbonnet?
- Oh, good morning, Mr. Koogan.
I didn't see you
come in my classroom.
Can I help you with something?
- You look very nice
today, Ms. Hobbonnet.
- Thank you, I got a new dress.
Do you like it?
- Very nice.
[students laughing]
- Poor Mr. Koogan
and Ms. Habanero.
- Sweetheart, it's Hobbonnet.
And, yeah, they're
crazy about each other,
but they don't do
anything about it.
- Mr. Koogan is helpless.
[cheerleaders scoffing]
[school bell rings]
- That's the bell.
- Yes.
- Do you think you should
get to your classroom?
- Yes, yes, of course.
- Good morning, class.
I just wanted to remind
you before we get started
that science fair
competition is gonna be
in two days in the cafeteria.
I'm looking forward to a
very exciting presentation.
- Where did Andy go?
[curious music]
- He's gonna get
himself into trouble.
- [Andy] Hey, guys.
- There you are, Andy.
- Andy, what have you
been up to all day?
- [Andy] Oh, Lily, it's
been a little bit crazy.
- What kind of crazy?
- Dogs, Whiskers, bad guys,
and your dad thinks that
he's going crazy himself.
- I know, I saw.
- [Andy] You saw, how
could you see from school?
- How can you talk?
- Fair question.
[Bob laughing]
- How did that get there?
How would you like
to meet me in a
[chips crunching
drowns out speech]?
[cartoons faintly chattering]
[Bob laughing]
- Dad, why aren't you at work?
- Work?
[chips crunching]
Cartoons, potato chips.
- What, Daddy, are you okay?
- I'm fine.
I got caught up on
the duck and the pig
and the two guys that
go boom to each other.
Hey, Andy.
- Hey, Bob.
You get any sleep?
- Uh-huh, a little bit.
Still talking, I see.
- [Andy] Yeah, it's
sort of what I do now.
- Mm-hmm, m'kay,
well, have at it.
Try not to scare the wife.
- [Andy] I'll been real
careful about that.
Thanks, Bob.
- Okay [laughs].
- Lily, sweetheart,
I think Daddy's having
a nervous meltdown.
- I think he's been
watching too much silly TV.
- No, I don't think so.
[Bob laughs]
- Sportsmanship.
- What's the matter?
[Bob laughing]
- Bob, what are you doing here?
- I live here.
- No.
I meant why aren't
you at the office?
You've got that big buyout today
with that young quarterback.
- I love potato
chips, love them.
Cartoons, too [laughs].
So you still talkin', huh?
Are you still talkin',
you furry little thing?
[laughs] I'm losin' my mind.
I am, I'm goin' crazy.
- I knew it!
All those hours you've
been putting in,
skipping breakfast has
put you into this state.
- No, I'm fine, honey.
Wanna chip, woof?
[silly music]
- Bob, you're barking.
Stop it.
[Bob growls and barks]
Bob, talk to me.
[Bob growls and barks]
No, Bob, talk to me, dear.
Don't bark.
[chips crunching]
Stop it!
[Bob barks]
Roll over.
[Bob growls]
- Here, rub my ear
right here behind me.
Do it, do it, yeah!
- Oh, my gosh.
- Good [laughs].
- He's crazy, he's crazy.
- [Whiskers] Calm down, Mely.
It's no big deal.
- How would you know, Whiskers?
He's talking, no,
barking like...
Excuse me, did you just talk?
- [Whiskers] I'm
afraid so, sweetheart.
It's what I've
been doing lately.
- There ya go, my own
wife's crazy, too.
She hears the animals
talking [laughs].
- I think I'm going to faint.
- [Whiskers] Please
don't do that, Melissa.
The children.
- Right, the children.
Oh, my gosh, they can't find
about you talking, Whiskers.
And how is it you
can talk, anyway?
- [Whiskers] It's a
bit of a long story.
- Indulge me.
- [Whiskers] Do you want
the unvarnished truth
or the sugarcoated version?
- Please just tell me how you
can talk, my little friend.
- [Whiskers] I'm a victim
of dark magic by a fairy.
[dramatic music]
Little Lily wished
rather recklessly
for us to be able to talk.
And she said it was okay if
folks like you heard, too.
- Folks like us?
- Grown-ups.
- Oh, dark magic,
that sounds horrible.
Is it too late to
get it sugarcoated?
- [Whiskers] Ya just heard
the sugarcoated version.
- Oh my, oh, what are we
going to do, the children!
- The children are fine, Mommy.
- We know all about
our talking pets.
I know it's weird.
[playful music]
- Weird? No.
Professional wrestling is weird.
Talking animals is just nuts.
- [Andy] I couldn't agree
any more, Mrs. Mason.
- What, you, too?
- Afraid so.
- I think I need to lie down.
- Mm-mm, won't
work, I tried that.
- Is it too early to drink?
- Now you're talkin'.
- No.
No one is starting to drink.
Okay, it's not
that big of a deal.
- No, sure, it's
absolutely fine.
Animals talking,
no big deal at all.
- [Flowers] Hey,
don't forget about us.
- [Both] Plants, too?
- [Andy] The talking plants
really put Bob over the edge.
He went right back to
cartoons and potato chips.
Meanwhile, our two
bumbling bad guys
were listening the whole
time and forming a plan.
- We have to get that
little rat tomorrow.
We can't mess up.
- Yeah!
But now that the mom
and dad knows about him,
it's gonna be hard for us
to get our hands on him.
- We'll think of something.
- No, you mean thatWhiskers'll think of somethin'.
- That's what I meant.
[dramatic music]
[bodies thudding]
[Roller moaning]
Your garage door opener is
working fine, Mrs. Mason.
Get off of me, Bubba.
- I'm sorry!
- [Andy] Now, our story
goes to later that night.
- Time for bed, honey.
- Okay, Mom.
Wanna go back in
your cage, Andy?
- [Andy] Well, if it's okay,
I'll just stay right here
in this nice, warm bed.
[Bob barking and whimpering]
- Bob, go to bed.
[Bob barks]
He's not adjusting
to this very well.
- [Andy] Don't sweat
it, Mrs. Mason.
It's kinda magical, ya know?
And, Bob, well, he's
more of a logical fella.
- That he is.
Sleep tight, baby.
- Night, Mom.
- Goodnight, Melissa.
- Oh, by the way,
where's Whiskers?
- Oh, yeah, Whiskers.
I saw him slummin' it
around Tina's room.
They're in there watching
some dance video.
- Oh, that old
lecherous critter.
Why I should tell your father.
- Mom, he's just lonely.
Whiskers isn't really bad.
- You wanna bet?
- Hush, Andy!
That's not nice.
- We'll talk about
this tomorrow.
- I love you, Andy.
- [Andy] I love you, too, Lily.
Sleep well, I'm just gonna
take a little stroll.
Stretch my legs a bit,
maybe use the bathroom.
But I'll come right back
here to sleep, I promise.
- You hit Colleen's car.
- Yeah.
Yes, I most definitely hit it. - Was she upset?
- Not mad, but just.
- Oh, no--
- This is a brand new car
and my husband is
going to be so upset.
- Oh, she told you that?
- Oh, no.
- Yeah, I was like oh, god.
- Oh, no.
- I feel kinda bad, guys.
- Why, 'cause you hit her car?
- Yeah, yeah, but not
that, right now, anyway.
[sighs] 'Cause Mr. Koogan
and Ms. Hum, Habanero?
- Close enough.
- Anyway.
They're like in love, you know?
I don't know.
- Well, yeah.
But they're too chicken
to do anything about it.
- Yeah, our chicken teachers
will hardly even
talk to each other
and I've personally
tried my best.
- Yeah, well, it wasn't enough.
- [Whiskers] You humans,
you know nothing about love.
- And you do?
- Yeah, how could you,
Mr. Furry Thing?
- [Whiskers] [scoffs] I
know what it's like to love.
A long time ago, I had someone.
Oh, you think it's not possible.
I was young, powerful, slick,
tomcatting around [laughs].
I ruled that city.
[cat meows]
And then, one day, I saw her.
[cat purring]
She was beautiful, a vision.
Sorta like you,
but a lot smarter.
We did everything together.
You put a bowl of
food in front of us,
it didn't matter to
me what was in it.
Milk, soup, even water,
we lapped it up together.
We cuddled together
everyday, playing.
We bought matching
leopard skin jackets.
- Ouch.
[kitten meows]
- [Whiskers] One day,
she didn't come home.
I got up in the highest
tree I could find.
I looked everywhere.
She'd been truckered.
[cat meows]
[horn honks]
Flattened, smooshed, kaput.
Sooner or later, the
truck comes for all of us.
From there on in,
I sat here alone
in a prison of my own thoughts.
Oh, sure I got Bob and
Mely and you and Lily
and the little dumb girl here,
but it's not the same.
One day, I'll get
truckered, too.
- [Andy] Gee, Whiskers,
you could depress a hyena.
- [Whiskers] I didn't even know
you were here, you little rat!
Mind your business!
- [scoffs] Okay.
Well, I guess I'm just
gonna go to bed then.
Just wanted to say
goodnight, guys.
Seems like a good party.
- [laughs] Night.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight, Whiskers.
[mystical chiming]
Wait, what're you doing?
- You scared me.
- I scared you?
This is our bathroom!
Wait a second, where am I?
- We're in Fairyland.
The bathroom, but
Fairyland sounds better.
- [Andy] Hey, wait a minute.
I know you, you're?
- The one that got you to talk
and the same with the
whole other animal kingdom.
- And us, too.
- And the flowers.
Listen, I need your
help, little guy.
- [Andy] My help,
how could I help you?
- You could convince Lily
that you and the animals--
- And the flowers.
- And the flowers
can all go back
to being just you.
- [Andy] But I like
being able to talk.
I like that people listen to me.
It's nice to be
able to communicate.
- I know, it's just that
it's just gonna get
us in more trouble
and you don't want that.
Do you, little hedgehog?
- No.
- Sometimes you have
to take responsibility
and do the things that
you don't wanna do,
or don't feel like doing.
Actions have consequences
and I kinda understand that now.
- [Andy] Wow, that's really
deep, especially for you.
- Well, now I'm gonna leave you
with that very
grown-up conversation
for you to think
about, okay, Andy?
- [Andy] Okay, it was
nice talkin' to you,
funny little fairy chick.
- It was nice talkin' to
you, funny little Andy.
- [Andy] [laughs] I sorta
like the ring of that.
Well, I think I'll go back
because it's almost
time for my belly rub.
- Okay, I'm gonna
let you down now.
- Good.
- Bye, Andy.
- All right.
[mystical chiming]
And just like that, poof,
I was back in Lily's bed.
That fairy sure did give
me a lot to think about.
[sighs] Life was so much easier
when I all I worried about
were crackers and belly rubs.
Adulting is hard.
Well, goodnight.
[soft piano music]
- [laughs] I had the
weirdest dream last night.
- Really, dear?
- Mm-hmm.
I dreamed that Andy here
could talk [laughs].
- Morning, Bob.
- Morning, Andy.
It wasn't a dream, was it?
- Afraid not, dear.
- Honey, do we have
more potato chips?
- Kind of early for
that before work,
isn't it, sweetheart?
- What's work?
[playful music]
- Your job, you're
a sports agent.
Remember?
- Ah, right.
- [Andy] You okay, Bob?
- No, no, Andy, I'm not.
Animals can talk in my house.
- [Flowers] Hey,
don't forget about us.
- I'm going back to bed.
[Mely slurps]
- Morning, Mom.
- Good morning.
[Tina heavily sighs]
- Hey, someone ate all my
potato chips last night.
- Oh, it was
probably your father.
He's been on a potato chip binge
ever since our pets acquired
the power of speech.
[Tina frustratingly moans]
Healthy breakfast, Tina.
- Ma, I'm fasting, remember?
- Oh, the potato chip fast.
[Whiskers meows]
- Why the long face, Whiskers?
- [Whiskers] The truck is
just right around the corner
for all of us.
[dramatic music]
Sooner or later, none of
us escape with our skins.
- What's that about?
- Whiskers just sad is all.
- [Mely] Lily, breakfast, honey!
- Coming, Mom, just need
to use the bathroom first!
[mystical chiming]
- Hey, Lily!
- Fairyland again?
- What, you don't like it?
- I do, it's just, well.
- What?
- I really need to
go to the bathroom.
- Okay, okay, did Andy
talk to you last night?
- Yes, and I'm still
thinkin' about it.
- Okay, great.
Now, remember, the only
way that you could reverse
a talking wish is that you
have to wish something good
for someone else, it's a rule.
- I gotta think about that one.
- I'm getting
really good at this.
- Fairy BFF?
- Yeah.
- I really need to go
to the bathroom now!
- [Fairy BFF] Go [laughs].
- Good morning,
Lily, morning, Andy.
- Hi, Mom, can I take Andy
to school with me today?
- Do you really
think your teacher
would approve of that, Lily?
- When she sees
that Andy can talk,
I'm sure she wouldn't mind.
- Andy, what do you
have to say to that?
- [Andy] Well, if it
gets me outta the house,
then, sure, I don't
mind a little day trip.
- Okay.
- Thanks!
- [Andy] Lily and I had
a long talk that night.
I like talking and I
don't wanna give it up,
but I don't want Lily's Fairy
BFF to be in trouble either.
We're about to see
those mean girls, again.
Remember, kids, it's always
best to be nice to them,
even if they're
not so nice to you.
- How is little Miss
Talk To Herself, today?
- If you mean me,
I'm fine, thank you.
- Who's your little friend?
- That's my friend Andy.
- The little crazy
girl has a friend?
[girls laughing]
- Don't do that.
- Why not?
He gonna complain?
- No.
It's just that
you're not very nice
and only my friends
get to tap my head.
- Did you just talk?
- [Andy] I made a declaratory
statement of fact, fat Betsy.
You gotta problem with that?
[girls shrieking]
[school bell rings]
[girls giggling]
I guess I wasn't very nice.
[laughs] I should've
tried harder.
- [Ms. Wilkins] Lily, you know
you can't bring pets to class.
- He's not really
a pet, Ms. Wilkins.
- No, well, then what is he?
- Remember you
talked about kindness
and friendship the other day?
- Mm-hmm.
- That a good friend is
someone who listens to you
even if you're grump?
- Yes, you remembered.
Very good, Lily,
but unfortunately,
you still can't
bring pets to class.
- He's my best friend
in the whole world
and I wanted to bring him
to class with me today.
- Well, that's a very
lovely thing, Lily,
but you still can't
have pets in class.
- [Andy] Excuse me, ma'am,
but I really think that
I'm more than just a pet.
- Oh my.
What in the world?
- See, Ms. Wilkin.
- [Andy] Yes,
everyone, I can talk.
I know it's weird, but miracleshappen everyday, right?
- Yes, they do.
I had a pet mouse once and,
well, she talked to me.
[Ms. Wilkins laughs]
- See.
- What was your name, again?
- Andy, ma'am.
- Pleased to meet you, Andy.
Class, say hello to Andy.
- [Students] Hi, Andy!
- Dumb hedgehog.
- Betsy, now that's not nice.
Say you're sorry.
- Sorry.
- Betsy, why don't you
come over and pet Andy.
He loves belly rubs
for world peace.
- You'd let me pet him?
- For world peace.
[soft piano music]
Be nice and, remember,
no one is mean
without a simple reason.
- Like Whiskers.
- Yep.
- All right.
Hey, you're pretty
good at petting me.
And this is where Betsy gave
me a really good belly rub.
She wasn't mean at all.
She was actually quite
the belly-rubber.
World peace, world peace.
[playful music]
- Hi, Mom.
- Oh, hi, Lily, hi, Andy.
How was school today?
- It was great, Mely.
I mean, really, really great.
I got belly rubs from
just about everybody.
- Oh, good for you, Andy.
- I mean, from everybody.
- [laughs] Good.
- Hey, Mely, Mely?
- Yeah?
- [Andy] I also got
crackers, lots of crackers.
- Wow.
- Hey, speaking of.
Do you have any crackers?
- I think we do.
- [Andy] That'd be nice.
I'm gonna go upstairs
and have a little nap.
I think I'll take my
crackers upstairs, please.
- Oh, okay, I'll get
them right to you.
- [Andy] Yeah, sounds good.
What are ya cookin' there?
- Sushi.
- [Andy] No, just send
the crackers on up please.
You could put a little
apple juice in my bowl, too.
- I'll get right on that.
- Okay, today we
nab that little rat.
- [Whiskers] Try not to mess
it up this time, knucklehead.
[head rattling]
- What makes you
think you're so smart?
- [Whiskers] Because I've
got some cheerful news.
I know the square root
of the hypothenuse.
Do you?
[mischievous music]
Ha, I didn't think so!
Go get the rat.
[Bubba thuds]
[clumsy music]
- Get up, Bubba, let's go!
[Bubba thuds]
[clumsy music]
[soft piano music]
[chips crunching]
- He's still talkin'?
- Yes, dear.
- You know that my
science show is tomorrow.
- Oh, that's right.
We have to go to that, Bob.
I guess you'll just have
to take off time from work.
That is if you're going
to even go to work.
- No, I am never ever
going to work ever again.
When animals and
plants can talk,
my interface with real
world officially stops.
[gasps] Do we have
any gummy bears?
- No, no more candy.
You might get fat.
- Aw.
- It's okay, Daddy.
You'll be fine.
- Yeah, Bob.
Things will be back
to normal soon.
- Sure they will, Andy.
Of course, they will.
Can I go back to my room now?
- Sure, Dad.
- Thank you.
- Your husband's
watching cartoons, again.
- And eating all the
potato chips, again.
- Hey, guys, it's not funny.
My dad's losing his mind.
- Yeah.
He's lost his marbles.
- Your father will
be fine, girls.
He's just not dealing well withthe talking animal dynamic.
- [Flowers] And us, too.
- Or the talking plant thing.
- Okay, we've gotta think about
how we can use Andy for
the science project.
- Just have him talk.
- No, no.
We need something more.
Something--
- Fantagalistic.
- Trix?
[cellphone camera clicks]
No funky words, okay?
- Okay [laughs].
- Little dummies right, though.
[soft piano music]
- [MC] And now another
round of applause
for Kelly and her volcano.
[audience applauds]
- Those two are in love.
- They are?
- Yeah, but they're too
scared to tell each other.
- It's so sadalicious.
[soft piano music]
Okay, I take it
back, I take it back.
- I love you, Andy.
- I love you, too, Lily.
And I know what you have to do.
- I wish.
[mystical chiming]
- Friends and family,
it is with great pride
that I now move on to
the high school section
of our science show.
First up, we have our
very own head cheerleader
and homecoming queen,
Tori Baxter and her team.
[audience applauds]
- Our science project is Andy!
[audience laughs]
No, no, he's not
just a hedgehog.
He can actually talk.
[audience laughs]
Come on, Andy,
[nervously laughs] talk.
[Andy squeaks]
No, no, Andy, talk.
[Andy squeaks]
[audience laughs]
- [Fairy BFF] Lily!
[mystical chiming]
- Lily, what happened?
What did you wish for?
- I decided to help out alittle problem they were having.
- [Fairy King] That's
very kind for both of you.
- You saved me from
being toaded, thank you.
- What are friends for, right?
[audience laughs]
- Come on, you stupid
hedgehog, talk!
[Andy squeaks]
[audience laughs]
- [Andy] And from
that point forward,
humans could no
longer understand me.
Of course, I could still
talk to Whiskers, ugh.
- [Tori] Why aren't you
talking anymore, Andy?
That was so embarrassing!
[Andy squeaks]
- [Cheerleaders] Ugh!
- Sorry, girls,
another termite attack.
I need you all to leave, please.
- Are you kidding me, Mom?
- Ugh!
- Come on, girls!
Aren't you afraid of termites? - Go, go!
- But I don't wanna
leave my hedgehog.
- Oh, that's okay, sweetie.
I'll take him
downstairs for you.
- Thank you, Mr. Roller.
- You're welcome.
[Andy squeaks]
You hush.
We need you, you little rat,
and you are gonna help us.
Bubba, check to see that the
coast is clear downstairs.
- Gee, Roller, maybe this
ain't such a good idea.
That little girl loves
that little fella.
- Now, Bubba!
And don't you try
anything this time.
- [Andy] I'm a
five inch hedgehog.
What did he think
I was gonna try?
Of course, he couldn't
understand me.
[playful music]
- Mom, there are bugs
crawling everywhere!
- Tina, Mr. Roller is taking care of the termite situation.
- Mrs. Mason, if you can't
get your house under control,
I can't live here half the time.
[Tina heavily sighs]
[Mely slurps]
[curious music]
[chips crunching]
[speaking in foreign language]
- Potato chips. [speaking in foreign language]
You hear that?
- Termites.
I'm going to my truck now.
[leaves crunching]
[bodies thudding]
[clumsy music]
- [Whiskers] Idiots, get up!
Grab him, grab the hedgehog!
- Get up, get up!
- [meows] Hello, idiots!
Hey, why can't they
hear me anymore?
[Roller faintly shouting]
[Bubba thuds]
[clumsy music]
[Bubba painfully whines]
[silly music]
- Ow!
- [Whiskers] Hey, get back
here, you little hedgehog!
I'm gettin' too old for
this runnin' nonsense.
Come here, I need to be rich!
Rich, I tell ya!
Catch him, catch him all ready!
He's only got little legs.
- Whiskers, look out!
- Come on!
- Truck!
[horn honks]
[intense music]
- Oh, I almost got truckered.
Andy, my boy, you saved my life.
- [Andy] Well, that's
what friends do.
Right, Whiskers?
- Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
- [Roller] Get back
here, you little rat.
- [Whiskers] Hey,
let my friend go!
- Gee, Roller, I
think we oughta give
the girl back the hedgehog.
She might miss him.
- Nah, no way, let's go!
[mischievous music]
You're my winning lotto
ticket, you little rat.
No little girl is gonna
keep me from my millions.
- [Andy] And here we are,
right back at the very beginningof the story, remember?
I told ya that we'd get here.
[mischievous music]
- [Lily] Daddy, Daddy, Mr. Roller's trying to steal Andy!
- Game-saving tackle.
[powerful music]
- [Andy] It sure is a good thing
that Lily has super
dad to come rescue me.
[powerful music]
[victorious music]
[crowd softly cheering]
- You still got it number seven!
- Yeah, I guess I do [chuckles].
- Have I always been wearing
a cheerleading outfit?
- You have in my mind.
And this is all just a
figment of my imagination.
[mystical chiming]
- [Andy] Well, that's it.
That's the end of the story.
Bob got his confidence back.
The cheerleaders figured they'dmade the entire thing up.
I became friends with Whiskers.
And even though Lily
can't hear me anymore,
we're still happy together.
She still gives me
crackers and belly rubs,
and that's what really matters.
Hey, hey, wait.
You're fading to
black too quick.
Wait, but I got more to say.
Oh, fine, I'm Andy the talking hedgehog saying goodbye.
[playful music]
Whiskers, is it okay if
I talk over the credits?
- [Whiskers] You talked
over the whole darn movie.
What do I care
about some credits?
- [Andy] Okay, thanks!
Whoa, is this one of those
Joel Paul Reisig movies?
He's like a really
big-time director.
- [Whiskers] Big-time?
[scoffs] He's small
potatoes, kid.
- [Andy] Hey, Whiskers,
who are these guys?
- [Whiskers] I don't remember
either one of these bozos.
Now, let's see some actors.
- That's Dean Cain.
[victorious music]
He played Superman on
TV a long time ago.
He's 50 now, but look
at that hairline.
I mean, the guy's still got it.
- [Whiskers] Dean
who, meh, who cares?
Show me Tara Reid.
- She's great.
She's in all of those
shark movies that I like.
They're so funny. - I liked her in American Pie.
[laughs] Hubba, hubba, hubba.
- [Andy] This was
Karina's first movie.
She did really good.
- Not bad kid, not bad.
- [Andy] And Colleen
was good, too.
- [Whiskers] Hey, where's
that cheerleader outfit?
- [Andy] Whiskers, stop!
Here's our two bad guys,
that's Mike and Ernie.
They're actually really nice and really good belly-rubbers.
[Bubba farts]
- Funny guys, funny guys.
- [Andy] That's
Mavin, she's nice,
but not such a great driver.
[tires screeching]
[metal crunching]
- [Whiskers] Did she
really hit Colleen's car?
- [Andy] Big time, she
crashed right into it.
I mean, it was parked
and everything,
but, kaboom, right into it!
Oh, I like Keilah.
She says praise Jesus a lot.
I mean, like, a lot.
- [Whiskers] Meh,
I prefer Allie.
She doesn't take any nonsense.
- [Andy] Hey, look,
Whiskers, it's me!
It says that my voice was
done that my producer guy,
Joel Paul Reisig, how exciting!
- [Whiskers] Oh, that
explains why you sound
like such a whiny
little pain in the--
- [Andy] Look, Whiskers,
he played you, too!
- [Whiskers] Hey,
what in the world?
Are you tellin' me
that I've just been
arguing with myself
all these years,
[laughs] like some
kinda mental patient?
- [Andy] I guess that explains
why we're best
friends, Whiskers.
- [Whiskers] Yeah,
yeah, I guess so.
- I knew we were best friends. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I still think the movie
shoulda been called
Whiskers The Talking Cat.
- I'm cuter.
- [Whiskers] I've been
in the business longer!
- [Andy] [laughs]
Whiskers, you're funny.
Well, thanks
everyone for watching
Andy The Talking Hedghog.
[cheerful music]
[soft music]
- [Andy] Hi, how ya doin'?
I'm Andy and right now,
I'm being kidnapped
by this total jerk!
[mischievous music]
- You're my winning lotto
ticket, you little rat.
No little girl is gonna
keep me from my millions.
- [Andy] Okay,
hold this thought.
We'll get back to
my kidnapping later.
And I know what you're thinking,
how can you understand me?
Well, stuff like that
happens sometimes.
Call it magic, call it whimsy.
I call it normal 'cause we
animals talk all the time.
You people simply just
don't wanna listen.
But let's back up
a few days ago.
Meet little Lily Mason,
she's my best friend.
A few days ago, she made a
wish that changed everything.
- Nice day to play
outside, right, Andy?
[Andy squeaks]
[bird chirping]
Hi, bird!
Hi, Mr. Tree!
- [Andy] Okay, okay, why don't we back it up a little bit?
Before this entire
wish thing happened.
First, I'd like you
to meet Lily's family.
- How's your coffee, hun?
[cheerful music]
- [Andy] That's Mely, she's
Lily's super cool mom.
- Uh, oh, it's, mm.
Great, thanks, dear.
- [Andy] Oh, this
guy here is Bob.
He's Lily's dad, he works a lot.
Yeah, he does whatever it
is that those big humans do
when they're not home eating.
- Hey, princess.
[curious music]
- [Andy] That's Tina,
Lily's funny, older sister.
She likes boys and pop music.
- Hey, Daddy.
[Andy chuckles]
- [Andy] She's also
a great belly-rubber.
Okay, just a little belly rub.
Maybe a little bit under
the chin would be nice, too.
I'm just gonna kick my foot.
- Sit, Tina, breakfast.
- I'm fasting, Mom.
- [scoffs] You can fast later.
I made eggs and you're eating.
- I have to lose five pounds
before the league tryouts.
- No, you don't.
- You're perfect
the way you are.
- You say that 'cause it's true.
[girls giggling]
[Whiskers meows]
- Bob, would you call
off your critter please?
He always hisses at
me when I'm cooking.
- Whiskers, cut it out!
- [Andy] That's Whiskers,
Bob's pet from the old days.
Whiskers has serious
issues, mainly with me,
but we'll talk more
about that later.
- Lily, honey, breakfast!
- Coming, Mom!
Bye, bird, bye, Mr. Tree!
Boy, I sure wish
you could all talk.
- [Andy] And that's where the
magic begins, with a wish.
As you probably guessed,
I'm the family
hedgehog, name's Andy.
No last name, just Andy.
- [Fairy BFF] Hey, kid.
- Hi, where did you come from?
- [Fairy BFF] The
bushes, step in.
[mystical chiming]
- Wait, where are we?
[birds chirping]
- In Fairyland, and be
careful what you wish for.
- [Lily] What?
- Be careful what you wish for.
It's a famous saying like
you better watch out,
you better not cry,
you better not pout,
I'm telling you why.
- That's a Santa song.
- Oh, right, anyways.
- Who are you?
- That's a good question.
I'm someone who can
grant a wish for you.
- You can?
- Yep, that's what I do.
- Wow, I'm Lily!
- I know.
- You do?
- Yep.
I'm your Fairy BFF.
I know all about
you and Andy, too.
- Wow, I have a Fairy BFF?
- So, your wish, Lily.
- Well, it's a big one.
- I hope so, this
is my first big job.
I gotta do it good for the boss.
So tell me, girl!
- I wish all my
friends could talk.
- Okay, that sounds pretty easy.
You're a little girl, so Iguess all your friends can talk.
- No, I mean my other friends,
like the birds and
flowers and Andy.
- Hm, talking flowers,
birds, and animals.
I think I can do that.
- Really?
- Yeah, all things growing,
chirping, or squeaking,
get ready to do serious
people speaking!
- [Andy] And that was it.
With those magical words,
I was able to speak.
Of course, so was Whiskers, ugh.
But more on that later.
- Okay, done deal, Lily.
- Really?
Andy, it really worked!
- [Andy] I guess it does, Lily.
- Andy?
- That's my name, kiddo.
Don't wear it out.
- We can finally
talk to each other,
but your lips aren't moving.
- [Andy] Well, why should they?
A lot of people's lips move,but they don't really say much.
- [chuckles] Smart little fella.
- [Andy] Oh, thanks,
funny-looking
little fairy chick.
I get that a lot.
- Thank you, Fairy BFF.
- Muah!
- And can all my
friends hear Andy, too?
- If you want them to.
Do I rock or what?
[door creaks]
- Lily, sweetheart,
come on in now.
- Coming, Mom!
[mystical chiming]
Come on, Andy.
[playful music]
- [Andy] Hey, I
just work here, kid.
You're driving.
- I still can't
believe you can talk!
- [Andy] Miracles
happen everyday, Lily.
Oh, no.
[silly music]
- What is it?
- [Andy] This means that Whiskers will be able to talk.
Oh, good grief!
- Come on, he's not so bad.
He's just kinda old, that's all.
- [Andy] He doesn't like me.
- Don't be silly.
- No, trust me.
He has hedgehog envy.
- What?
- Never mind.
- Oh, hi, boss!
- Missy, do you realize
what you've just done?
- I did my job,
I granted a wish.
- You violated a 31A Directive
that forbids us from allowing
flowers, animals, or birds
to talk to people.
Didn't you get that
in your training?
- Um, no, maybe I was
out sick that day?
- [Fairy King] Missy, what
am I gonna do with you?
- Oh, please don't turn
me into a toad again!
Last time, ribbit.
You have no idea
how that stings!
- You should have called
in for a Fairy Lifeline.
Instead, you just cast
your spell all willy-nilly.
- [Fairy BFF] Well,
I am a Fairy BFF
and it's kind of
a job description.
- You have no idea of the
problems you've caused.
[magical music]
- Oh, don't be so
negative, boss.
The kid is happy and the world is unicorns and rainbows.
- You are so young.
[Fairy BFF softly croaks]
- [Andy] I had no
idea how many problems
this would cause either.
But the big fairy was right
'cause that's when the
bad guys showed up.
[mischievous music]
[Bubba cheerfully humming]
- Gee, Roller, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean it!
- You big dummy,
what's the matter you?
- I'm sorry, you scared me.
- I don't know why I bring
you out on these jobs.
- Oh, because
we're best buddies.
- Wrong!
- Oh, because I'm
a good gardener.
- Wrong, again.
- I don't know, why?
- I don't know
and it worries me.
- [Andy] I mean, just
have a look at this guy.
You can tell that
he's up to no good.
The fat one's not so bad though.
I like him, he's funny.
[mischievous music]
- Look at this!
I'm gonna be itching until
night and everything.
[speaking in foreign language] - Come on, Roller.
- Oh, hey, I forgot!
[curious music]
Hey, dummy, get a load of this.
It's a contest.
- A contest for what?
- To find the weirdest
thing you can in your home
and put it on the internet.
- Wow!
- Wow is right.
And you are gonna help me win.
- I am? [speaking in foreign language]
- How?
- Just by being you.
- Just by being...
I don't get it.
- You know, your talent.
- Oh, gee, Roller [stuttering].
I don't want the
world to see that.
It's embarrassing.
- Come on!
You do it all the
time down at the bar.
- Yeah, but that's for the guys.
- Look, the winner of
this contest wins $10,000!
That's like
$3,000 each!
- Oh, where do I sign?
- Yeah, that's the spirit.
- Yeah.
- Okay, let's practice.
- Yeah.
- Are you ready?
- Ready!
- Okay.
[harmonica music]
[Bubba belching]
[Bubba farts]
[playful music]
- Hey, you guys,
Andy can talk now.
- Sure he can, brat.
- No, really!
Go ahead, Andy, say something.
Go on, Andy, say something.
[Whiskers meows]
- Breakfast is on
the table, honey.
- Come on, don't be like that.
He's just being shy.
- Of course, he is, dear.
That's what hedgehogs
do, I guess.
[clears throat]
Okay, uh, I gotta go.
Honey, where's my briefcase?
- In the living room, hun.
- Yeah.
[doorbell rings]
- [Tina] I'll get it.
[door creaks]
- [laughs] Hey.
- That's Trixie.
She's Tina's cheer-mate
and best friend.
She's really nice, but
I'll be honest with you,
she's not that smart.
- Hey, Trixie.
Come on in.
[soft music]
- [Mely] Trixie,
did you eat yet?
- No, I'm fasting.
- Oh, right, league finals.
- See, Mom?
[soft curious music]
[Trixie sniffs]
[Whiskers hisses]
- Doggone it, Whiskers, stop it!
Lily, now, what's
wrong with her today?
- The same thing that's
always been wrong with her.
She lives in her own la la land.
- That must be nice.
- Oh, don't worry, honey.
You do, too.
- Really?
[Tina laughs]
Is it 'cause I'm dumb?
[girls laughing]
[soft piano music]
- Okay, you ready?
- Yeah, boss.
- Let's go.
- Come on, Roller.
- Okay, we got to get up here
and clean the gutter, okay?
- Yes, sir.
- Easy, easy, easy.
Use your height.
Oh, [speaking in
foreign language].
Okay, be careful, we don't
want to break the window.
Ah, I'll hold this,
you step back here.
- Okay.
- We got to do this and that.
Okay, are you ready?
- Yes, sir.
- Okay, now we have
to try to stand it up
and not to break anything.
I don't wanna have to pay, okay?
It's heavy.
- Look, at these two bozos.
I could set up a ladder and
I'm only three inches long.
- Okay, what's going on?
[soft music]
- [Andy] I can't talk in
front of anyone else, Lily?
- Why not, that was my wish?
- I know, but--
- But what?
- [Andy] Because, little Lily,
a hedgehog knows that if folks get wind of a talking animal,
only trouble is
gonna come from it.
- That's silly,
no one will care.
- [Whiskers] [scoffs] No
one will care, she says.
[laughs] I'm an
old animal, child.
Believe me, if any of
these humans saw me
or that walking little
porcupine talking,
there'd be some serious trouble!
- That, I don't believe it
and I'll prove it to you.
Hey, Tina, Trixie!
- Maybe we should fold
it first, get it up here,
and then open it
up and put it up.
- [Bubba] I was
thinking the same thing.
- Sure, okay,
let's go back here.
- [Bubba] How'd you know?
- Put it down like
this and like that.
[ladder rattling]
- [Bubba] That's why you're
the brains of this operation.
[speaking in foreign language]
- Okay, now, bring this end in.
Okay.
Now, we got to
get this up there.
Oh, wait a minute,
this is backwards.
Grab that end.
You ready?
- I'm ready.
- Turn.
- Turning.
- Okay, turn.
- I'm turning.
Gosh, yeah.
- Okay, stop.
I said, okay!
- Okay, okay.
- The other way.
- Oh, okay.
- Okay, set it down straight.
- I'm listening.
- What's the matter you?
- How's that?
- Watch your toe, monkey.
[Bubba squeals]
It's very hard to get good help.
[soft piano music]
- What do you want, munchkin?
- I want you to see something.
- Lily, I see Andy and
Whisker every day, okay?
- Not like this, come on in.
- Why?
- So you can hear Andy
and Whiskers talk.
- Space cadet [sighs].
- Like really talk?
Like, can they actually talk?
- Trixie!
- I wanna see.
Can you actually
talk, little rat?
- [Andy] I'm a hedgehog,
sweetheart, not a rat.
- Oh, my God!
- That is so bomb!
I can't believe he
can really talk.
- Told you!
- Okay.
I need you to hold the ladder
while I go up there
and clean the gutter.
I think I can reach it.
Now, don't let go.
I don't have good
health insurance, okay?
All right, Bubba.
Stay attentive, pay attention.
[mischievous music]
[bird chirping]
- Oh, a birdie!
[hands clapping]
[Bubba laughing]
Hi, birdie!
- [Lily] Do it again, Andy.
- [Andy] Lily, I'm
in a pretty strong
bargaining position here.
- What?
- [Andy] If I talk,
will you do me a favor?
- Sure, we're pals, right?
- Right.
- So what do you want, Andy?
- [Andy] I'd like to go
wander around for a bit.
See the sights, I don't know.
Maybe even take in the backyard.
- I understand, okay, deal.
- Wanna rub my belly, Tina?
- Oh, my God!
[speaking in foreign language]
[Roller screaming]
[ladder clattering]
[Roller painfully moans]
- Bubba.
- Roller!
- Help me, Bubba!
- Gee, Roller, I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
Come on, get outta there!
[Roller painfully moans]
[clumsy music]
- Bubba, get off of me!
- Gee, Roller, I'm sorry.
I couldn't hold
the ladder still.
- Andy, are you, have
you been possessed
by an alien or something?
- No.
[cellphone camera clicks]
I'm still the same lovable Andy
that you belly rub
for world peace.
- Now do you believe me?
- I believe you, baby girl.
[cellphone camera clicks]
I just don't get it.
I mean, this is bigger
than we landed on the moon.
[cellphone camera clicks]
- I don't remember landing
on the moon [scoffs].
- [Whiskers] Now you've done it.
You'll see what this
leads to, you little rat.
- You guys are
going to be famous.
- Really, is that good?
[cellphone camera clicks]
- [Whiskers] No, it isn't.
- Sure, why not?
- Wow!
This is so big!
I gotta text Tori.
- Why?
- She is super smart
and our team captain.
She'll know what to do.
- [heavily breathing] We
are going to be rich, Bubba!
- How?
- I just have to figure out
a way to get inside and get
my hands on that little rat.
- On what rat?
[door creaks]
- Mr. Roller,
Bubba, are you okay?
[Roller painfully moaning]
- Aw, yes, ma'am.
We are fine.
Just a little fall
[heavily breathing].
We'll finish up here and
then we'll be inside,
so we can do our termite
inspection inside.
- Termite inspection? [speaking in foreign language]
- It's our weekly special,
I wanted to surprise you.
- Well, okay, I don't
think we have any termites,
but you guys are experts, right?
[speaking in foreign language] [bell dings]
- We are experts.
- Okay.
- Mely really wasn't
so sure about them,
but she did let
them into the house
and that's where the
real trouble started.
But first we're gonna meet Tori, the cheerleader captain.
- Okay, I'm here and I'd
better see a talking pet.
This better be good.
[door creaks]
- Bye, honey!
No!
- Oh, hi, Mr. Mason.
- Hiya, Trixie.
- Oh, no, I'm Tori.
Trixie's my dummy cheer-mate.
- Oh, right.
- Yeah.
- All right, well, have a greatday at school then, Terry.
- Oh, okay, thanks.
Bye, don't work too
hard, Mr. Mason!
Bye!
Fox.
Dang.
- Okay, so you sit downstairs
with the wife and distract her.
I'll go upstairs and get
that little rat and--
- You all right there, guys?
- Oh!
- Yeah, hi.
- Hi, sir.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- Are you off to work?
- No, vacation, Hawaii.
Yeah, I'm off to work, yeah.
[Bubba and Roller chuckling]
And to get there, I gotta go
in that car door right there.
- Oh, yes, sir.
- Yeah.
- Bubba, you're
in the man's way.
Move.
- I'm sorry, sorry.
- Yeah.
- I'm sorry about him.
Bubba is not that smart, okay?
- Okay.
- All right.
Okay.
- You just go here.
I'll go in.
- Okay, yeah.
Arrivederci!
- Okay, ciao!
- Bon voyage!
- Bye-bye.
- Let's go.
[playful music]
- Hi, Tori, the
girls are upstairs.
You guys better hurry soyou're not late for first hour.
- Don't worry about
it, Mrs. Mason.
I'll heard the girls
out super fast.
- Now I know why you're
captain of the team.
- It's all about
being in control
and never losing your cool.
I'm thinking of writing a book.
It would really
benefit women like you.
[Mely annoyingly laughs]
- Go upstairs, Tori.
[knife clacks]
- Okay, what is this
crap about talking pets?
- [Andy] Hey, watch the
language there, sugar lips.
[Tori thuds]
- Oh, gosh, the
hedgehog killed her.
[curious music]
It'll look good on
social media though.
[cellphone camera clicks]
Selfie.
[cellphone camera clicks]
- She's not dead, Trixie.
- [Andy] Lily, I kept
my bargain with you.
Could I go wander
around on my own now?
- [Whiskers] Do you even
have the slightest idea
what a dangerous
world it is out there?
- [Andy] Sure I do.
Wait, what do you mean?
- [Whiskers] What
I mean, hedgehog,
is there are things outside
that want to eat you.
- [Andy] What, is that true?
- You kept your
word to me, Andy.
- [Andy] Okay,
little cheerleader,
you're kind of layin' in
the middle of my floor here.
I'm just gonna, I'm gonna have to climb up and over you.
Don't wake up please 'cause
that would really scare me.
- [Whiskers] Enjoy your
freedom while it lasts.
[Whiskers maniacally
laughs and coughs]
- Why does Daddy keep that
mean old Mr. Whiskers?
I like him even less
now that he talks.
- He's just old, that's all.
He's grump.
[Tina sighs]
- [Andy] I'm free, I'm free.
I'm actually walking
around all on my own.
I don't have
anybody carrying me.
I don't have
anybody watching me.
I don't have any
responsibilities.
I don't have any plans.
I've got my entire
life in front of me.
I've got stairs; I didn't
think about stairs.
Okay, I'm just gonna peak
my head over the edge here.
I'm just gonna peak my head.
Oh, wait, wait, ah!
[Andy farts]
Okay, that was one stair.
How many more stairs
does this house have?
[mischievous music]
- [Whiskers] What's
your scam, boys?
- Fantastico.
[Bubba stutters]
- The animal talked!
[speaking in foreign language]
- [Whiskers] And I
asked you a question.
What do you guys want
'cause you look shifty,
and I like that about you.
- We need ourselves
a talking animal.
- [Whiskers] Well, there's
plenty of those around here.
[speaking in foreign language]
- I noticed that.
Grab him!
- You touch me
and I'll never talk again!
The whole world
will laugh at you
and call you a
couple of dummies.
Now, what if I told
you two boneheads
that I could get you
a cute little hedgehog
that never shuts up?
- I'd say that sounds
like a pretty good deal.
We'll make it worth your while.
- [Whiskers] [scoffs]
Of that, I'm sure.
- [Andy] Wow, sure is
nice out here today.
Cool breeze, autumn; I've
always cared for autumn.
Oh, hi there, Mr. Bird.
How are you?
- [Bird] Lookin'
good, little hedgehog.
- [Andy] And plants,
you can talk, too.
- [Flowers] We sure can, Andy.
- [Andy] There's a lotta
good stuff to sniff out here.
I've never really
noticed it before.
A lotta good places to pee, too.
Whiskers doesn't know
what he's talkin' about.
He's just old and, wait
a second, is that milk?
Did Lily put out milk for me?
It is, I love milk!
Milk, milk, milk, milk, milk.
This is a nice little flower.
Lily likes flowers.
I think I'd like to bring
this flower home for her.
Oh, wait a second.
Actually, it's kind of
makin' my face itch.
Oh, okay, ah, oh, that's
nice, that's better.
What should I do next?
Hey, I wonder if my friend Mike
wants to come over
for some milk?
I love milk, I'll bet
Mike would like milk, too.
- [Mike] Andy, my
knees are actin' up.
My tendonitis is actin' up.
These veterinarians, man,
they don't know what
they're talkin' about.
- [Andy] Mike, for crying
out loud, just drink milk.
Ugh, I had to send Mike home.
That guy was a major downer.
I'm gotta tell ya,
I think I liked him a lot
better before he could talk.
Oh, look at this, too.
Bob was out here
grillin' a week ago.
He dropped a piece of
sausage, it's delicious!
I'll bet if Mike were here,
he'd be complaining that
it's just turkey sausage.
Hm, I love it.
Sausage, sausage, sausage.
[dog barks]
Ooh, what's that guy over there?
Uh-oh, wait a minute.
Is that a dog?
[dog barking]
Stay very still,
he doesn't see me.
He does, he sees me!
Run, scramble, run!
I can't, my legs are too small.
He's coming very, very fast.
[dog growling]
He's a very fast dog, ball up.
Get in the ball,
get in the ball!
[dog growls and barks]
Is he gone, is the dog gone?
Will somebody talk to me?
I've been rolled up like
this for an hour now.
Wow, I'm exhausted.
[playful music]
Being outside is really tiring.
[Andy yawns]
Maybe I'll just have a
little nap on this rock here.
[Andy snoring]
- [Whiskers] Okay,
you two bozos,
I want 20% of the take
and points on the backend.
- Net of the cost.
- [Whiskers] Do I look
like a jerk to you?
Heck no, gross.
- That's robbery!
- [Whiskers] Well,
what do ya say, shorty?
Do you wanna talkin'
hedgehog or not?
- Hmm.
- He's got a point.
[mischievous music]
- Deal.
[bell dings]
- Back already, Andy?
- Yeah.
- Did you have fun?
- [Andy] Fun really isn't the
word that I'd be lookin' for.
- Girls, this is amazing,
a talking hedgehog!
- I know, it's so fetch.
- Trixie, fetch
is so Mean Girls.
Find another catchphrase.
- Okay [laughs].
- You look out of breath, Andy.
- [Andy] I had a dog issue.
- We have to get that rat today.
- Yeah, but he's
awful cute, ain't he?
- [Whiskers] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's cute, but he ain't dumb.
This operation needs to
be handled delicately.
- Do you have a plan?
- Okay, girls, we've
got to exploit him.
- Exploit him, you
mean like blow him up?
- No, honey, I mean,
we have to show the
world what Andy can do.
- Oh.
- How?
- And why? - So that we can become famous
and meet the Kardashians.
[girls giggling]
- I don't know, guys.
- Don't worry.
Andy won't get hurt.
In fact, he may even
get a girlfriend.
- A girlfriend?
- Yeah, you like that?
- Can I eat it?
- No [chuckles].
A girlfriend is like a mate.
- [Andy] What can
I do with a mate?
- You'll figure it out.
- Don't worry, Andy, I'd
just go for the food.
[cellphone camera clicks]
- Listen, all I'm saying
is that we show Andy off
at the science fair.
- But I was supposed to
be the science project!
You promised!
- Honey, we were gonna
show them why you're
the perfect candidate
for a brain transplant.
- Yeah, and you're sure that's better than Andy talking?
- I don't know, maybe.
Wait, how come I'm
the perfect candidate
for a brain transmission thing?
[silly music]
- I think we should get
Andy's opinion on this.
- [Andy] I don't know.
I mean, I guess
if it doesn't hurt
and you guys are down
with it, then okay.
- That a piggy!
[hand knocking]
- Yay!
- Double yay!
- Okay, everyone
out of here fast.
- What's going on?
- Emergency termite inspection.
This room is full of bugs.
- Termites?
- Ew, no, no, no.
- Sorry, kiddo, you
can leave him here.
He'll be safe.
- Okay.
Gotta go to school, anyway.
Bye, Andy, see ya later.
- Ciao.
[playful music]
- [Whiskers] Hello, hedgehog.
- [Andy] But there
aren't any termites
in this place, Whiskers.
- [Whiskers] I don't
know about that, Andy.
- [Andy] I smell a
rat and it's you!
- [Whiskers] Now, would
I do anything dishonest?
- [Andy] Does a dog
love peanut butter?
- [Whiskers] You're
a smart little rodent
and that's why you're
gonna make us rich.
- Gee, Roller, he
doesn't look too happy.
- He's a rat, Bubba,
happy-shmappy.
Give him a cracker,
he'll be happy.
Now, come here. - And the next thing you know,
I was being stolen by bad guys.
- What's goin' on
with those girls?
- Termites.
- Oh, my gosh.
We have them after
all, don't we?
- I guess, that's
what Mr. Roller says.
- Well, get your things, honey.
I'll have to drive
you to school now.
- Okay.
- Okay, the coast is clear.
- Now what?
- Now, we need to
find a video camera
so we can record him.
- Hey, morons.
[speaking in foreign language]
We've got smartphones
now, 21st century stuff.
You can film the
hedgehog on the phone!
[fingers snapping]
- That's a good idea.
[suspenseful music]
[engine rumbles]
Wait!
Oh, what's he doing back here?
- [Whiskers] He's always
forgetting somethin'.
Okay, okay, quickly get
the hedgehog back upstairs.
[dramatic music]
Get up, fat boy;
move, move, move!
[dramatic music]
[Bubba farts]
- No, Jerry.
No, of course, I
don't like the deal.
Tom is a great quarterback.
He's worth more than 5.6.
He's first-ballot
Hall of Fame no doubt.
Right, well, let's
get it up front.
Sure, if Bill will present
it for us, that's great.
He's gonna play well.
No, they want long-term.
[keys jingling]
[lock clicks]
And that money needs
to be guaranteed.
Hey, Whiskers.
- Hey, Bob.
You forget somethin'?
- Excuse me?
- I asked you
if you forgot anything.
- Yeah.
Jerry, I'm gonna have to
call you back [laughs].
'Scuse me, are you
actually talking?
- Yeah, I am talkin'.
[Bob laughs]
- Okay, yep, I'm havin'
a nervous breakdown.
- [Whiskers] You're not, it's
just one of those crazy days.
- Mely's right, I've
been workin' too much.
I am seeing and hearing things.
- [Whiskers] Why don't you
sit down, have a drink?
You can pour me one, too, ha!
- No, no, I think I'm just
gonna go lie down somewhere.
- Get back here, you little rat.
[Roller banging]
- What was that?
- Termites.
- That sounded like a
lot more than termites.
Careful there, Whiskers.
- You got it, Bob.
- And he's still talking.
I need to sleep.
- That doggone rat got away.
- Anybody up there?
- Hide, dummy, hide.
[mischievous music]
- [Bob] Andy, what are
you doin' outta your cage?
- [Andy] I've been dealin'
with a few problems, Bob.
No worries.
[soft piano music]
- And you're talking, too.
Hm, yep, I am losing my mind.
- [Andy] You okay, Bob?
You've got a funny
look on your fact.
- [laughs] I'm fine, Andy.
I am just going insane.
How about we go have
a little lie-down?
What do ya say?
Yeah, okay.
[soft piano music]
[Bob heavily sighs]
- [Andy] Sorry I'm talking, Bob.
I had nothing to do with it.
- Meh, sure ya didn't, Andy.
- You believe me?
- Of course, I believe you.
Because I'm losing my mind
and you are part of my
mental disintegration.
By all means,
please keep talking.
I'm almost getting used to it.
- Oh, okay then.
- Mm-hmm.
Do you talk too,
creepy little doll?
- [Fairy King] See
what you've done?
Bob thinks he's going crazy.
- And that's my fault?
- Well, who else?
Little Lily wants her
animals to talk to people
and now everything's
goin' crazy.
- How can I fix this?
- That's your problem,
but you better think
of somethin' quick or.
- Or what?
[suspenseful music]
- Get used to life
on a lily pad.
- No!
- Hm, I need coffee.
- And now I'm hearing voices.
[suspenseful music]
[spring creaks]
[Bubba screams]
- [Andy] [laughs]
That's my favorite part.
I love the look on
the fat one's face
when Bob sits on him.
Whiskers, can we play it again?
- No!
- Oh, come on, please?
- Oh, fine.
[suspenseful music]
[spring creaks]
[Bubba screams]
- Yep, hearin' voices
everywhere, Andy.
[Bubba squealing]
I think I need a lie-down.
What do ya say, buddy?
Let's go have a little
snuggle in my room?
All right.
[suspenseful music]
[Bubba heavily sighs]
- [Whiskers] Idiots, I can't
work under these conditions!
[school bell rings]
- Lily, in here!
[mystical chiming]
Lily, listen, we got a problem.
- The bathroom transports
me to Fairyland?
- It's a bathroom, all girls
gossip in the bathroom.
It's a well-known fact.
- Okay, what's wrong?
- Everything, look!
- Mely always told me this
was gonna happen one day.
That day is today, Andy.
Major mental meltdown.
[playful music]
You know, Andy,
when I was young,
I used to be a heck
of a football player.
I was All-Conference, All-State.
I thought I was
invincible, you know?
I thought I could do anything.
Never thought about growin' old.
Never thought about
days like today.
[laughs] I mean, how could I?
You know, you and me talkin'?
Yeah, I used to think
I could do anything.
Make the big play,
the touchdown,
the game-saving tackle
[softly chuckles].
Now I don't feel like I could
really do anything, nothing.
- [Andy] You can still
do anything, Bob.
You can still make thattackle, if you believe you can.
- [chuckles] How'd you
get so smart, Andy?
You're a hedgehog.
- [Andy] I don't know.
I guess it came
with the magic wish.
[Bob sighing]
- That's nice, Andy, I like
when you cuddle like that.
- [Andy] I like you, too, Bob.
[magical music]
[birds chirping]
- [Fairy BFF] So you
gotta fix this, Lily.
I'm sorry.
- But I love my wish,
and it's not that big of a deal.
- That's where you're wrong.
A lot's going down
because of me.
- But, no, I'm not
gonna change my wish.
- You don't have to
change your wish.
You just have to
wish another wish
so it reverses
the original wish.
- But what if I don't
want another wish?
Andy and I can finally talk now.
He's the only one
that understands me.
- I know what it feels
like to be misunderstood.
- You do?
- Big time.
Will you at least think about
making another wish, please?
- But what if I don't
want another wish?
- Then your Fairy BFF
is gonna be turned
into a toad forever and ever.
- I don't get it.
- Just think about it, okay?
- Okay, I'll think about it.
- Who are you talking to?
[girls giggling]
- [Mr. Koogan] [clears throat] Excuse me, Ms. Hobbonnet?
- Oh, good morning, Mr. Koogan.
I didn't see you
come in my classroom.
Can I help you with something?
- You look very nice
today, Ms. Hobbonnet.
- Thank you, I got a new dress.
Do you like it?
- Very nice.
[students laughing]
- Poor Mr. Koogan
and Ms. Habanero.
- Sweetheart, it's Hobbonnet.
And, yeah, they're
crazy about each other,
but they don't do
anything about it.
- Mr. Koogan is helpless.
[cheerleaders scoffing]
[school bell rings]
- That's the bell.
- Yes.
- Do you think you should
get to your classroom?
- Yes, yes, of course.
- Good morning, class.
I just wanted to remind
you before we get started
that science fair
competition is gonna be
in two days in the cafeteria.
I'm looking forward to a
very exciting presentation.
- Where did Andy go?
[curious music]
- He's gonna get
himself into trouble.
- [Andy] Hey, guys.
- There you are, Andy.
- Andy, what have you
been up to all day?
- [Andy] Oh, Lily, it's
been a little bit crazy.
- What kind of crazy?
- Dogs, Whiskers, bad guys,
and your dad thinks that
he's going crazy himself.
- I know, I saw.
- [Andy] You saw, how
could you see from school?
- How can you talk?
- Fair question.
[Bob laughing]
- How did that get there?
How would you like
to meet me in a
[chips crunching
drowns out speech]?
[cartoons faintly chattering]
[Bob laughing]
- Dad, why aren't you at work?
- Work?
[chips crunching]
Cartoons, potato chips.
- What, Daddy, are you okay?
- I'm fine.
I got caught up on
the duck and the pig
and the two guys that
go boom to each other.
Hey, Andy.
- Hey, Bob.
You get any sleep?
- Uh-huh, a little bit.
Still talking, I see.
- [Andy] Yeah, it's
sort of what I do now.
- Mm-hmm, m'kay,
well, have at it.
Try not to scare the wife.
- [Andy] I'll been real
careful about that.
Thanks, Bob.
- Okay [laughs].
- Lily, sweetheart,
I think Daddy's having
a nervous meltdown.
- I think he's been
watching too much silly TV.
- No, I don't think so.
[Bob laughs]
- Sportsmanship.
- What's the matter?
[Bob laughing]
- Bob, what are you doing here?
- I live here.
- No.
I meant why aren't
you at the office?
You've got that big buyout today
with that young quarterback.
- I love potato
chips, love them.
Cartoons, too [laughs].
So you still talkin', huh?
Are you still talkin',
you furry little thing?
[laughs] I'm losin' my mind.
I am, I'm goin' crazy.
- I knew it!
All those hours you've
been putting in,
skipping breakfast has
put you into this state.
- No, I'm fine, honey.
Wanna chip, woof?
[silly music]
- Bob, you're barking.
Stop it.
[Bob growls and barks]
Bob, talk to me.
[Bob growls and barks]
No, Bob, talk to me, dear.
Don't bark.
[chips crunching]
Stop it!
[Bob barks]
Roll over.
[Bob growls]
- Here, rub my ear
right here behind me.
Do it, do it, yeah!
- Oh, my gosh.
- Good [laughs].
- He's crazy, he's crazy.
- [Whiskers] Calm down, Mely.
It's no big deal.
- How would you know, Whiskers?
He's talking, no,
barking like...
Excuse me, did you just talk?
- [Whiskers] I'm
afraid so, sweetheart.
It's what I've
been doing lately.
- There ya go, my own
wife's crazy, too.
She hears the animals
talking [laughs].
- I think I'm going to faint.
- [Whiskers] Please
don't do that, Melissa.
The children.
- Right, the children.
Oh, my gosh, they can't find
about you talking, Whiskers.
And how is it you
can talk, anyway?
- [Whiskers] It's a
bit of a long story.
- Indulge me.
- [Whiskers] Do you want
the unvarnished truth
or the sugarcoated version?
- Please just tell me how you
can talk, my little friend.
- [Whiskers] I'm a victim
of dark magic by a fairy.
[dramatic music]
Little Lily wished
rather recklessly
for us to be able to talk.
And she said it was okay if
folks like you heard, too.
- Folks like us?
- Grown-ups.
- Oh, dark magic,
that sounds horrible.
Is it too late to
get it sugarcoated?
- [Whiskers] Ya just heard
the sugarcoated version.
- Oh my, oh, what are we
going to do, the children!
- The children are fine, Mommy.
- We know all about
our talking pets.
I know it's weird.
[playful music]
- Weird? No.
Professional wrestling is weird.
Talking animals is just nuts.
- [Andy] I couldn't agree
any more, Mrs. Mason.
- What, you, too?
- Afraid so.
- I think I need to lie down.
- Mm-mm, won't
work, I tried that.
- Is it too early to drink?
- Now you're talkin'.
- No.
No one is starting to drink.
Okay, it's not
that big of a deal.
- No, sure, it's
absolutely fine.
Animals talking,
no big deal at all.
- [Flowers] Hey,
don't forget about us.
- [Both] Plants, too?
- [Andy] The talking plants
really put Bob over the edge.
He went right back to
cartoons and potato chips.
Meanwhile, our two
bumbling bad guys
were listening the whole
time and forming a plan.
- We have to get that
little rat tomorrow.
We can't mess up.
- Yeah!
But now that the mom
and dad knows about him,
it's gonna be hard for us
to get our hands on him.
- We'll think of something.
- No, you mean thatWhiskers'll think of somethin'.
- That's what I meant.
[dramatic music]
[bodies thudding]
[Roller moaning]
Your garage door opener is
working fine, Mrs. Mason.
Get off of me, Bubba.
- I'm sorry!
- [Andy] Now, our story
goes to later that night.
- Time for bed, honey.
- Okay, Mom.
Wanna go back in
your cage, Andy?
- [Andy] Well, if it's okay,
I'll just stay right here
in this nice, warm bed.
[Bob barking and whimpering]
- Bob, go to bed.
[Bob barks]
He's not adjusting
to this very well.
- [Andy] Don't sweat
it, Mrs. Mason.
It's kinda magical, ya know?
And, Bob, well, he's
more of a logical fella.
- That he is.
Sleep tight, baby.
- Night, Mom.
- Goodnight, Melissa.
- Oh, by the way,
where's Whiskers?
- Oh, yeah, Whiskers.
I saw him slummin' it
around Tina's room.
They're in there watching
some dance video.
- Oh, that old
lecherous critter.
Why I should tell your father.
- Mom, he's just lonely.
Whiskers isn't really bad.
- You wanna bet?
- Hush, Andy!
That's not nice.
- We'll talk about
this tomorrow.
- I love you, Andy.
- [Andy] I love you, too, Lily.
Sleep well, I'm just gonna
take a little stroll.
Stretch my legs a bit,
maybe use the bathroom.
But I'll come right back
here to sleep, I promise.
- You hit Colleen's car.
- Yeah.
Yes, I most definitely hit it. - Was she upset?
- Not mad, but just.
- Oh, no--
- This is a brand new car
and my husband is
going to be so upset.
- Oh, she told you that?
- Oh, no.
- Yeah, I was like oh, god.
- Oh, no.
- I feel kinda bad, guys.
- Why, 'cause you hit her car?
- Yeah, yeah, but not
that, right now, anyway.
[sighs] 'Cause Mr. Koogan
and Ms. Hum, Habanero?
- Close enough.
- Anyway.
They're like in love, you know?
I don't know.
- Well, yeah.
But they're too chicken
to do anything about it.
- Yeah, our chicken teachers
will hardly even
talk to each other
and I've personally
tried my best.
- Yeah, well, it wasn't enough.
- [Whiskers] You humans,
you know nothing about love.
- And you do?
- Yeah, how could you,
Mr. Furry Thing?
- [Whiskers] [scoffs] I
know what it's like to love.
A long time ago, I had someone.
Oh, you think it's not possible.
I was young, powerful, slick,
tomcatting around [laughs].
I ruled that city.
[cat meows]
And then, one day, I saw her.
[cat purring]
She was beautiful, a vision.
Sorta like you,
but a lot smarter.
We did everything together.
You put a bowl of
food in front of us,
it didn't matter to
me what was in it.
Milk, soup, even water,
we lapped it up together.
We cuddled together
everyday, playing.
We bought matching
leopard skin jackets.
- Ouch.
[kitten meows]
- [Whiskers] One day,
she didn't come home.
I got up in the highest
tree I could find.
I looked everywhere.
She'd been truckered.
[cat meows]
[horn honks]
Flattened, smooshed, kaput.
Sooner or later, the
truck comes for all of us.
From there on in,
I sat here alone
in a prison of my own thoughts.
Oh, sure I got Bob and
Mely and you and Lily
and the little dumb girl here,
but it's not the same.
One day, I'll get
truckered, too.
- [Andy] Gee, Whiskers,
you could depress a hyena.
- [Whiskers] I didn't even know
you were here, you little rat!
Mind your business!
- [scoffs] Okay.
Well, I guess I'm just
gonna go to bed then.
Just wanted to say
goodnight, guys.
Seems like a good party.
- [laughs] Night.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight, Whiskers.
[mystical chiming]
Wait, what're you doing?
- You scared me.
- I scared you?
This is our bathroom!
Wait a second, where am I?
- We're in Fairyland.
The bathroom, but
Fairyland sounds better.
- [Andy] Hey, wait a minute.
I know you, you're?
- The one that got you to talk
and the same with the
whole other animal kingdom.
- And us, too.
- And the flowers.
Listen, I need your
help, little guy.
- [Andy] My help,
how could I help you?
- You could convince Lily
that you and the animals--
- And the flowers.
- And the flowers
can all go back
to being just you.
- [Andy] But I like
being able to talk.
I like that people listen to me.
It's nice to be
able to communicate.
- I know, it's just that
it's just gonna get
us in more trouble
and you don't want that.
Do you, little hedgehog?
- No.
- Sometimes you have
to take responsibility
and do the things that
you don't wanna do,
or don't feel like doing.
Actions have consequences
and I kinda understand that now.
- [Andy] Wow, that's really
deep, especially for you.
- Well, now I'm gonna leave you
with that very
grown-up conversation
for you to think
about, okay, Andy?
- [Andy] Okay, it was
nice talkin' to you,
funny little fairy chick.
- It was nice talkin' to
you, funny little Andy.
- [Andy] [laughs] I sorta
like the ring of that.
Well, I think I'll go back
because it's almost
time for my belly rub.
- Okay, I'm gonna
let you down now.
- Good.
- Bye, Andy.
- All right.
[mystical chiming]
And just like that, poof,
I was back in Lily's bed.
That fairy sure did give
me a lot to think about.
[sighs] Life was so much easier
when I all I worried about
were crackers and belly rubs.
Adulting is hard.
Well, goodnight.
[soft piano music]
- [laughs] I had the
weirdest dream last night.
- Really, dear?
- Mm-hmm.
I dreamed that Andy here
could talk [laughs].
- Morning, Bob.
- Morning, Andy.
It wasn't a dream, was it?
- Afraid not, dear.
- Honey, do we have
more potato chips?
- Kind of early for
that before work,
isn't it, sweetheart?
- What's work?
[playful music]
- Your job, you're
a sports agent.
Remember?
- Ah, right.
- [Andy] You okay, Bob?
- No, no, Andy, I'm not.
Animals can talk in my house.
- [Flowers] Hey,
don't forget about us.
- I'm going back to bed.
[Mely slurps]
- Morning, Mom.
- Good morning.
[Tina heavily sighs]
- Hey, someone ate all my
potato chips last night.
- Oh, it was
probably your father.
He's been on a potato chip binge
ever since our pets acquired
the power of speech.
[Tina frustratingly moans]
Healthy breakfast, Tina.
- Ma, I'm fasting, remember?
- Oh, the potato chip fast.
[Whiskers meows]
- Why the long face, Whiskers?
- [Whiskers] The truck is
just right around the corner
for all of us.
[dramatic music]
Sooner or later, none of
us escape with our skins.
- What's that about?
- Whiskers just sad is all.
- [Mely] Lily, breakfast, honey!
- Coming, Mom, just need
to use the bathroom first!
[mystical chiming]
- Hey, Lily!
- Fairyland again?
- What, you don't like it?
- I do, it's just, well.
- What?
- I really need to
go to the bathroom.
- Okay, okay, did Andy
talk to you last night?
- Yes, and I'm still
thinkin' about it.
- Okay, great.
Now, remember, the only
way that you could reverse
a talking wish is that you
have to wish something good
for someone else, it's a rule.
- I gotta think about that one.
- I'm getting
really good at this.
- Fairy BFF?
- Yeah.
- I really need to go
to the bathroom now!
- [Fairy BFF] Go [laughs].
- Good morning,
Lily, morning, Andy.
- Hi, Mom, can I take Andy
to school with me today?
- Do you really
think your teacher
would approve of that, Lily?
- When she sees
that Andy can talk,
I'm sure she wouldn't mind.
- Andy, what do you
have to say to that?
- [Andy] Well, if it
gets me outta the house,
then, sure, I don't
mind a little day trip.
- Okay.
- Thanks!
- [Andy] Lily and I had
a long talk that night.
I like talking and I
don't wanna give it up,
but I don't want Lily's Fairy
BFF to be in trouble either.
We're about to see
those mean girls, again.
Remember, kids, it's always
best to be nice to them,
even if they're
not so nice to you.
- How is little Miss
Talk To Herself, today?
- If you mean me,
I'm fine, thank you.
- Who's your little friend?
- That's my friend Andy.
- The little crazy
girl has a friend?
[girls laughing]
- Don't do that.
- Why not?
He gonna complain?
- No.
It's just that
you're not very nice
and only my friends
get to tap my head.
- Did you just talk?
- [Andy] I made a declaratory
statement of fact, fat Betsy.
You gotta problem with that?
[girls shrieking]
[school bell rings]
[girls giggling]
I guess I wasn't very nice.
[laughs] I should've
tried harder.
- [Ms. Wilkins] Lily, you know
you can't bring pets to class.
- He's not really
a pet, Ms. Wilkins.
- No, well, then what is he?
- Remember you
talked about kindness
and friendship the other day?
- Mm-hmm.
- That a good friend is
someone who listens to you
even if you're grump?
- Yes, you remembered.
Very good, Lily,
but unfortunately,
you still can't
bring pets to class.
- He's my best friend
in the whole world
and I wanted to bring him
to class with me today.
- Well, that's a very
lovely thing, Lily,
but you still can't
have pets in class.
- [Andy] Excuse me, ma'am,
but I really think that
I'm more than just a pet.
- Oh my.
What in the world?
- See, Ms. Wilkin.
- [Andy] Yes,
everyone, I can talk.
I know it's weird, but miracleshappen everyday, right?
- Yes, they do.
I had a pet mouse once and,
well, she talked to me.
[Ms. Wilkins laughs]
- See.
- What was your name, again?
- Andy, ma'am.
- Pleased to meet you, Andy.
Class, say hello to Andy.
- [Students] Hi, Andy!
- Dumb hedgehog.
- Betsy, now that's not nice.
Say you're sorry.
- Sorry.
- Betsy, why don't you
come over and pet Andy.
He loves belly rubs
for world peace.
- You'd let me pet him?
- For world peace.
[soft piano music]
Be nice and, remember,
no one is mean
without a simple reason.
- Like Whiskers.
- Yep.
- All right.
Hey, you're pretty
good at petting me.
And this is where Betsy gave
me a really good belly rub.
She wasn't mean at all.
She was actually quite
the belly-rubber.
World peace, world peace.
[playful music]
- Hi, Mom.
- Oh, hi, Lily, hi, Andy.
How was school today?
- It was great, Mely.
I mean, really, really great.
I got belly rubs from
just about everybody.
- Oh, good for you, Andy.
- I mean, from everybody.
- [laughs] Good.
- Hey, Mely, Mely?
- Yeah?
- [Andy] I also got
crackers, lots of crackers.
- Wow.
- Hey, speaking of.
Do you have any crackers?
- I think we do.
- [Andy] That'd be nice.
I'm gonna go upstairs
and have a little nap.
I think I'll take my
crackers upstairs, please.
- Oh, okay, I'll get
them right to you.
- [Andy] Yeah, sounds good.
What are ya cookin' there?
- Sushi.
- [Andy] No, just send
the crackers on up please.
You could put a little
apple juice in my bowl, too.
- I'll get right on that.
- Okay, today we
nab that little rat.
- [Whiskers] Try not to mess
it up this time, knucklehead.
[head rattling]
- What makes you
think you're so smart?
- [Whiskers] Because I've
got some cheerful news.
I know the square root
of the hypothenuse.
Do you?
[mischievous music]
Ha, I didn't think so!
Go get the rat.
[Bubba thuds]
[clumsy music]
- Get up, Bubba, let's go!
[Bubba thuds]
[clumsy music]
[soft piano music]
[chips crunching]
- He's still talkin'?
- Yes, dear.
- You know that my
science show is tomorrow.
- Oh, that's right.
We have to go to that, Bob.
I guess you'll just have
to take off time from work.
That is if you're going
to even go to work.
- No, I am never ever
going to work ever again.
When animals and
plants can talk,
my interface with real
world officially stops.
[gasps] Do we have
any gummy bears?
- No, no more candy.
You might get fat.
- Aw.
- It's okay, Daddy.
You'll be fine.
- Yeah, Bob.
Things will be back
to normal soon.
- Sure they will, Andy.
Of course, they will.
Can I go back to my room now?
- Sure, Dad.
- Thank you.
- Your husband's
watching cartoons, again.
- And eating all the
potato chips, again.
- Hey, guys, it's not funny.
My dad's losing his mind.
- Yeah.
He's lost his marbles.
- Your father will
be fine, girls.
He's just not dealing well withthe talking animal dynamic.
- [Flowers] And us, too.
- Or the talking plant thing.
- Okay, we've gotta think about
how we can use Andy for
the science project.
- Just have him talk.
- No, no.
We need something more.
Something--
- Fantagalistic.
- Trix?
[cellphone camera clicks]
No funky words, okay?
- Okay [laughs].
- Little dummies right, though.
[soft piano music]
- [MC] And now another
round of applause
for Kelly and her volcano.
[audience applauds]
- Those two are in love.
- They are?
- Yeah, but they're too
scared to tell each other.
- It's so sadalicious.
[soft piano music]
Okay, I take it
back, I take it back.
- I love you, Andy.
- I love you, too, Lily.
And I know what you have to do.
- I wish.
[mystical chiming]
- Friends and family,
it is with great pride
that I now move on to
the high school section
of our science show.
First up, we have our
very own head cheerleader
and homecoming queen,
Tori Baxter and her team.
[audience applauds]
- Our science project is Andy!
[audience laughs]
No, no, he's not
just a hedgehog.
He can actually talk.
[audience laughs]
Come on, Andy,
[nervously laughs] talk.
[Andy squeaks]
No, no, Andy, talk.
[Andy squeaks]
[audience laughs]
- [Fairy BFF] Lily!
[mystical chiming]
- Lily, what happened?
What did you wish for?
- I decided to help out alittle problem they were having.
- [Fairy King] That's
very kind for both of you.
- You saved me from
being toaded, thank you.
- What are friends for, right?
[audience laughs]
- Come on, you stupid
hedgehog, talk!
[Andy squeaks]
[audience laughs]
- [Andy] And from
that point forward,
humans could no
longer understand me.
Of course, I could still
talk to Whiskers, ugh.
- [Tori] Why aren't you
talking anymore, Andy?
That was so embarrassing!
[Andy squeaks]
- [Cheerleaders] Ugh!
- Sorry, girls,
another termite attack.
I need you all to leave, please.
- Are you kidding me, Mom?
- Ugh!
- Come on, girls!
Aren't you afraid of termites? - Go, go!
- But I don't wanna
leave my hedgehog.
- Oh, that's okay, sweetie.
I'll take him
downstairs for you.
- Thank you, Mr. Roller.
- You're welcome.
[Andy squeaks]
You hush.
We need you, you little rat,
and you are gonna help us.
Bubba, check to see that the
coast is clear downstairs.
- Gee, Roller, maybe this
ain't such a good idea.
That little girl loves
that little fella.
- Now, Bubba!
And don't you try
anything this time.
- [Andy] I'm a
five inch hedgehog.
What did he think
I was gonna try?
Of course, he couldn't
understand me.
[playful music]
- Mom, there are bugs
crawling everywhere!
- Tina, Mr. Roller is taking care of the termite situation.
- Mrs. Mason, if you can't
get your house under control,
I can't live here half the time.
[Tina heavily sighs]
[Mely slurps]
[curious music]
[chips crunching]
[speaking in foreign language]
- Potato chips. [speaking in foreign language]
You hear that?
- Termites.
I'm going to my truck now.
[leaves crunching]
[bodies thudding]
[clumsy music]
- [Whiskers] Idiots, get up!
Grab him, grab the hedgehog!
- Get up, get up!
- [meows] Hello, idiots!
Hey, why can't they
hear me anymore?
[Roller faintly shouting]
[Bubba thuds]
[clumsy music]
[Bubba painfully whines]
[silly music]
- Ow!
- [Whiskers] Hey, get back
here, you little hedgehog!
I'm gettin' too old for
this runnin' nonsense.
Come here, I need to be rich!
Rich, I tell ya!
Catch him, catch him all ready!
He's only got little legs.
- Whiskers, look out!
- Come on!
- Truck!
[horn honks]
[intense music]
- Oh, I almost got truckered.
Andy, my boy, you saved my life.
- [Andy] Well, that's
what friends do.
Right, Whiskers?
- Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
- [Roller] Get back
here, you little rat.
- [Whiskers] Hey,
let my friend go!
- Gee, Roller, I
think we oughta give
the girl back the hedgehog.
She might miss him.
- Nah, no way, let's go!
[mischievous music]
You're my winning lotto
ticket, you little rat.
No little girl is gonna
keep me from my millions.
- [Andy] And here we are,
right back at the very beginningof the story, remember?
I told ya that we'd get here.
[mischievous music]
- [Lily] Daddy, Daddy, Mr. Roller's trying to steal Andy!
- Game-saving tackle.
[powerful music]
- [Andy] It sure is a good thing
that Lily has super
dad to come rescue me.
[powerful music]
[victorious music]
[crowd softly cheering]
- You still got it number seven!
- Yeah, I guess I do [chuckles].
- Have I always been wearing
a cheerleading outfit?
- You have in my mind.
And this is all just a
figment of my imagination.
[mystical chiming]
- [Andy] Well, that's it.
That's the end of the story.
Bob got his confidence back.
The cheerleaders figured they'dmade the entire thing up.
I became friends with Whiskers.
And even though Lily
can't hear me anymore,
we're still happy together.
She still gives me
crackers and belly rubs,
and that's what really matters.
Hey, hey, wait.
You're fading to
black too quick.
Wait, but I got more to say.
Oh, fine, I'm Andy the talking hedgehog saying goodbye.
[playful music]
Whiskers, is it okay if
I talk over the credits?
- [Whiskers] You talked
over the whole darn movie.
What do I care
about some credits?
- [Andy] Okay, thanks!
Whoa, is this one of those
Joel Paul Reisig movies?
He's like a really
big-time director.
- [Whiskers] Big-time?
[scoffs] He's small
potatoes, kid.
- [Andy] Hey, Whiskers,
who are these guys?
- [Whiskers] I don't remember
either one of these bozos.
Now, let's see some actors.
- That's Dean Cain.
[victorious music]
He played Superman on
TV a long time ago.
He's 50 now, but look
at that hairline.
I mean, the guy's still got it.
- [Whiskers] Dean
who, meh, who cares?
Show me Tara Reid.
- She's great.
She's in all of those
shark movies that I like.
They're so funny. - I liked her in American Pie.
[laughs] Hubba, hubba, hubba.
- [Andy] This was
Karina's first movie.
She did really good.
- Not bad kid, not bad.
- [Andy] And Colleen
was good, too.
- [Whiskers] Hey, where's
that cheerleader outfit?
- [Andy] Whiskers, stop!
Here's our two bad guys,
that's Mike and Ernie.
They're actually really nice and really good belly-rubbers.
[Bubba farts]
- Funny guys, funny guys.
- [Andy] That's
Mavin, she's nice,
but not such a great driver.
[tires screeching]
[metal crunching]
- [Whiskers] Did she
really hit Colleen's car?
- [Andy] Big time, she
crashed right into it.
I mean, it was parked
and everything,
but, kaboom, right into it!
Oh, I like Keilah.
She says praise Jesus a lot.
I mean, like, a lot.
- [Whiskers] Meh,
I prefer Allie.
She doesn't take any nonsense.
- [Andy] Hey, look,
Whiskers, it's me!
It says that my voice was
done that my producer guy,
Joel Paul Reisig, how exciting!
- [Whiskers] Oh, that
explains why you sound
like such a whiny
little pain in the--
- [Andy] Look, Whiskers,
he played you, too!
- [Whiskers] Hey,
what in the world?
Are you tellin' me
that I've just been
arguing with myself
all these years,
[laughs] like some
kinda mental patient?
- [Andy] I guess that explains
why we're best
friends, Whiskers.
- [Whiskers] Yeah,
yeah, I guess so.
- I knew we were best friends. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I still think the movie
shoulda been called
Whiskers The Talking Cat.
- I'm cuter.
- [Whiskers] I've been
in the business longer!
- [Andy] [laughs]
Whiskers, you're funny.
Well, thanks
everyone for watching
Andy The Talking Hedghog.
[cheerful music]