An Ungentlemanly Act (1992) - full transcript
Based on actual accounts, this film portrays the days and hours before and during the invasion of the Falkland Islands by Argentina, which eventually lead to the Falklands War. As the Argentine forces land on the main island and make their way towards Government House, the British Royal Marines batten down the hatches and prepare to defend Governer Rex Hunt, his family and their fellow islanders from the invaders.
GUNSHOTS,
GLASS SHATTERS
Come on.
FANFARE
SONG: 'Fanfare The Royal Tournament/
A Life On The Ocean Wave'
PENGUINS SCREECH
HORSES BRAY
BIRD TWEETS
CAT MEOWS
DOG BARKS
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
SHEEP BLEAT
BLEATING INTENSIFIES
DOG BARKS
Thank you very much, sir.
MAN SPEAKING SPANISH:
Cheers for the lift, boss.
Get your haircut before tonight.
Sir.
You too, driver.
I always thought earrings
and Figaro 'taches on parade,
I thought was one of your windups.
Have you gone native
over the last year?
These boys have done
as many tours as yours.
ENGINE TURNS OVER
Morning, Mrs Mozeley.
Morning, Henry.
Guess what?
I'm off the blacklist today.
Aye, you'll be onto it again
come closing time.
Heh.
THUD
MAN: Argh!
THUDDING,
MAN SCREAMS
ENGINE ROARS OUTSIDE
Right.
That's it!
Ron?
Dear God, that's the last
horror film you get.
No, I've come to the end of that!
Come back here!
Yeah.
Try and get him something
quieter next time would you?
Well, what do you think, Anton?
Not half bad, is it?
Aye, glorious weather.
Tropical uniform, I think, today.
Good morning, Des.
Oh, Vice-Commodore Gilobert.
Thought you'd gone back for good.
Army bloody Air Force!
HE SPEAKS SPANISH
Enjoy your bacon and eggs,
Mr Farnworth?
Excellent, Mrs King.
I'll see if there's any ferries
to South Georgia.
Oh...
Nothing you can do for him
tonight either,
despite your 10,000 ways
with mutton, Mrs King.
He's a vegetarian.
That's all right.
I do a lovely spaghetti Bolognese.
Pipe down, it's the feds.
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen,
this is Patrick Watts,
your broadcasting officer.
It's nine o'clock on Thursday
1st April, and here is the news
from the Falkland Islands
Broadcasting Station.
There have been no further
developments in South Georgia,
where patrol ship Endurance
is expected to put a party
of Royal Marines ashore today
to end the legal presence
of Argentine scrap metal workers.
'Chief of Police Lamb is no
nearer to solving the break-in
'at LADE,
the Argentine airline office.
'Which involved the daubing
of obscene slogans in toothpaste
'and the substituting of a
Union Jack for the Argentine flag.'
ALL TALK AT ONCE
'Former LADE manager
Vice-Commodore Gilobert
'has returned to the islands
'to assist the police enquiry
and improve security.'
Come on, then, you lot.
Hurry up, breakfast finished
an hour ago.
Major Norman,
welcome to the Falkland Islands.
Well, we have to do this,
Major Norman,
for the press, as you realise.
A moment, I have to speak
to Penguin News.
Could you come over here for me?
I'll see you presently.
Right, sir.
Congratulations, Major Norman,
I hope you and your men
have a wonderful year out here.
Thank you, Mrs Hunt.
I must say, I'll be sorry
to see old friends go.
Well, if you'll excuse me, Majors,
I have some leaves to attend to.
Gary, if this situation
gets any worse,
I think it right
that you take over again.
You know the ground.
It's been a bit end-of-term-ish
down here, Mike.
I think you're probably
sharper right now.
Morning.
Morning.
Tony?
The annual rugby match between
the incoming Royal Marine garrison
and the Stanley Ladies first 15,
which was to be refereed
by His Excellency the Governor,
has been cancelled.
I can just hear the sigh of relief
from Major Norman and his men.
Seriously, welcome to our community,
Major Norman and your boys,
and so long to Gary Noott
and the team.
Go and give Jen a hand in the front.
Go on.
You wouldn't mind giving Fifi
the once over, would you, Don?
Yes, she's next in line, Ma'am.
Who was that girl?
ENGINE HUMS
Huh?
Turn that down.
ENGINE STOPS
Who was that girl?
Oh, er, did some revision
last night with me, Mum.
Slept in Diana's room.
Revision in a party frock?
ENGINE REVS
I might just kill that
boy before he flies back to school.
Most likely another
of the Argentine's bizarre ways
of staking their claims.
HE CHUCKLES
They even fly officers' wives
out here to have babies.
Dare we even complain,
when their military
run our only air link?
They're bound to know
our Buenos Aires military attache
had to pay his own bloody fair when
he came to recce here last month.
Well, a two-inch mortar
should hold up any sub's
landing party for a while.
It's still got a crack in it, Mike.
If anyone lands from this sub,
the best I can do is invite them
in for a short, sharp lecture
and a glass of sherry.
The FO at my briefing, bless him,
were confident this was
a niggling phase.
How many in our submarine
reaction party?
Five.
PENGUINS HONK
Do you think this stuff stretches?
Aye, this is the only beach short
enough for it, Corporal Armour.
Been looking forward to this.
Clean-air, good open spaces
for a weapons instructor.
Wildlife.
What are the females like?
Five blokes to a bird
down here, Corporal.
Aye, but that
lot aren't too fussy!
Shut it, Geordie.
PLANE HUMS OVERHEAD
Argentine.
Permission to give her
an eye, Corporal.
ARMOUR LAUGHS
Yow!
Tell Zero.
RADIO TUNES THROUGH STATIONS
TANGO MUSIC PLAYS
No rumba-tango stuff in here,
if you please.
A bit difficult to avoid
a whole continent, Mr King.
I'm doubling you up tonight.
Bookings coming in from Goose Green.
I thought Government House was 25.
25 and three rings.
One shot, two long.
Er.
Got you down for smoke-oh, I expect.
What-oh?
Smoke-oh.
Elevenses.
Yeah, 25, please, and three rings.
One short, two long.
One short, two long.
I wouldn't mind
using her as a necklace.
Leave the Gunnery Officer
a waitress, Corporal.
Morning, Duchess.
Fancy getting out of the wet?
Here, I thought you were supposed
to be on alert.
And how would you know?
We're going into Stanley
to get my kids.
Now, you gonna give us a lift
or not?
Sorry. Our mission's classified.
Oh, the older one's a paper bag job.
That was his wife, Corporal.
Ex-wife.
Yeah, well, she didn't strike me as
a bag of laughs either.
Sounds like you're well shot of her.
And his kids, Corporal.
ARMOUR LAUGHS
Sorry, Geordie.
A bit messy that.
After wangling four tours,
it was time to piss off anyway.
What, with the marital bliss
and the maintenance.
But then God sussed us, eh?
And fixed an international crisis.
ARMOUR LAUGHS
Hey, come on, don't hog it.
Huh. Well, I'd shag her!
Boys, don't stand in the rain.
Pop into the kitchen for tea.
Nanny and I keep an open house,
you know?
Come on, Farnworth,
we're off to do some spying.
I hear the west store's got
a good tinned fruit shipment in.
Good afternoon.
Hello.
Hello, young lady.
Mrs Hunt?
Excuse me.
John's finished our conservatory,
and I'd like to ask
your advice about...
Petunias, begonias,
shrubs and grapes.
Grapes?
Yes, of course you must.
Why don't you pop by about teatime
tomorrow, if you like,
we won't have much on.
Yes, thank you very much.
So, what time did you first
notice the, er...?
First thing in the morning.
Right, OK, that's fine,
thank you very much.
We'll be in touch
if there's anything.
Be useful if we had some bloody kit
to intercept transmissions,
or at least some cheapo
bugging device
for all those gas workers
up at the Goose.
Gilobert doesn't seem to be
inside any more, Sir.
Hector.
Lovely to see you.
How's Teresa and the children?
They miss the beaches.
She's spending all my money
in Harrods.
Gone to London?
No, the Buenos Aires range.
CHUCKLING
My successor, Major Mike Norman.
Pleased to meet you.
How do you do?
Substantial Argentinian force
invading at dawn, Gary.
No doubt we sold them
a substantial part of it.
It takes days to sail that far.
Radio transmissions, intercepts.
GCHQ probably have only one person
monitoring the entire continent's
radio activity.
Yet Joint Intelligence Committee
must have known.
Probably hoped the fleet
would just go away.
Anyway, Major Norman,
it's up to you to advise how we
make our dispositions accordingly.
I'm going with Gary's
contingency plans, Sir,
because I've had no time to form
an assessment of my own.
I have resources to defend
one beach.
Choosing the deep one,
on the assumption it'll be
landing craft we face.
If, on the other hand,
they have modern amphibious
personnel carriers
it'll be the shallow beach they use.
Have we had any intelligence?
No intelligence.
Only one MI6 man in Latin America.
Even if he is in Argentina.
Then it'll be bingo or bollocks.
Stanley, we put
the majority of Gary's men there,
they can tie down
hundreds of the enemy,
even thousands, in street fighting.
The walls are wood.
There can be no fighting in Stanley.
Good heavens. In the 50 years before
I became Governor,
there wasn't a single murder
on the islands.
It's about to change, Rex.
I presume our objective
is to hold out long enough
for a UN resolution to be achieved.
Or a cease-fire.
You saw the telegram.
The FO's not letting on.
By evacuating Government House
and taking to the hills,
we protect Stanley
and preserve sovereignty.
You transmit to the islands,
we carry out guerrilla attacks.
If they don't actually land,
we'll look ridiculous
bolting to the hills.
Besides, it's tantamount to leaving
the front door open.
Sir, as C&C,
you are a prime target for any
snatch squads.
The enemy will have excellent cover.
Including the only trees
on the island, I believe.
And as for the walls,
you said it yourself.
We might as well do it like Zulu
and form an infantry Square.
It's a long way to the hills.
Rough ground.
Sir, you've approved the plan.
As did your predecessor,
and he had a wooden leg!
Rex, if they come in from
behind Stanley,
cutting off escape routes,
this will be our Alamo.
Better we take it in the guts
than the women and children.
Thank you, gentlemen.
I would have thought
he would have asked me,
after a year here,
to resume command.
C&C.
Never commanded in any more
than a Spitfire myself.
But then you were one of the few,
weren't you, Rex?
No, I'm afraid not.
I missed the war by a whisker.
Pray for a gale to dash them
on the rocks like the Armada.
Bastards.
Bastards.
Buenos Aires or London?
REX COUGHS
Hello, all stations.
This is Nine, over.
Radio check, over.
What kind of weapons training
have those naval hydrographers had?
The droggies
can hardly handle mapping pens,
let alone assault rifles.
Come on, prat!
Thank you.
I'll take that.
Look what I've managed to...
Good afternoon, Mavis.
Sorry, Mavis, I forgot to say.
Just a few things
I have to arrange with the FIG.
Yes.
Yes, of course.
I'm sorry.
Pardon me.
Couldn't cypher one, Sir.
HE EXHALES
The latest piece of joy
from Whitehall
is that the Argentines
have excellent intelligence,
probably via an inside element.
Well, you don't need the brains of
an Archbishop to work that one out.
I'm sorry, Rex,
but I simply can't believe
that Hector Gilobert
is capable of it.
He wouldn't tell you
if your coat caught fire.
The Baha'i's perhaps.
Oh, come off it, Ronnie,
they're Americans.
It's a question of do we lockup
our Argentines now?
And risk triggering the invasion,
however much the better not
is that the FO advise against it.
Well, I think you're the one
to judge that, Rex.
Typical of Whitehall
to choose this occasion
for my first solo flight
and not provide a parachute.
Once documents went over the ship's
side in the war,
things were getting
pretty grim, Ma'am.
Dick, I know all about treading
and bearing.
Are you going to tell me what's up?
Or do I have to force it
out of my husband?
I'm sorry, Mavis, but...
THUDDING
SHE GASPS
Shut the door.
Mavis, it's still classified.
And HE is still up to his ears.
Now, I'm sorry.
THUDDING CONTINUES
I suppose everyone is
going to be working late.
Yes.
Then I'll tell cook to make
a vat of lasagne.
Thank you.
BROKEN GLASS CLINKS
HE CLEARS THROAT
Rex, why have you not told Mavis?
Saigon.
What?
1975 was the last time we went
off with our tails between our legs.
Or rather,
a Yank tail between Yank legs.
Pretty undignified
in our embassy too.
Anyway, Mavis dug her heels in.
She'd have clung to
the bloody chopper rails
if I hadn't thrown her bodily
onto a Hong Kong flight.
Now, I'm...
I'm afraid if I tell her the truth,
she'll refuse to budge tonight,
even if it means going down
with the ship.
Can I get Mavis and Tony
up to your house?
If it's all right with Connie.
Instead of standing there
scratching your loose change, Wilco,
go and check out our escape route.
No chance of one of
the inflatables, then?
Instead of that?
Yeah, there's two left.
One with a hole in,
and another one with two holes in.
Someone's gonna carry the can
for this.
Yeah, us.
Thank you, Don.
Stiffen my resolve
at whatever horror's to come.
SHE SIGHS
I expect it's
the Argentines on the way.
Don't you?
No-one's told me either, Ma'am.
Sorry, sir.
Hey?
Where's my...?
It's right here, sir.
Excuse me, Chief,
Bill here used to work
in air traffic control
in his native land.
This is it.
The Argies come flying in
to take the airport, right?
This golf ball
is the radio direction
beacon, right?
The desk is land, the floor is sea.
You gotta have a signal
late at tonight, right?
But what they don't know,
is that I'm gonna fix it
to trick the incomers like so.
Yes!
APPLAUSE
Well, that ought to drown
a few of the buggers, sir.
LAUGHTER
The beacon is owned
by the Argentines, Bill.
The FO doesn't want any premature
action against their property.
GRUMBLING
Oh, all right.
Can you be sure it could work?
Well, I'm not an avionics
technician.
One tool, fine adjustment.
LAUGHTER
If we can't alter the signal,
we kill it.
Bill?
We'll take you up there.
And do take care.
I thought you Baha'i's came down
to get away from it all.
I'm a Shiite Muslim, Sir.
Shiite Muslim?
# Well, this could be the last time
# This could be the last time
# Maybe the last time
# I don't know
# Oh, no. #
MEN CHEER
CHEERING
PRIEST SAYS PRAYER IN SPANISH
SONG: 'Ave Maria'
# Ave Maria
# Gratia plena. #
JAUNTY FOLK MUSIC
My senses tell me
that Hunt is contemplating
a touch of the old Mano Dura.
The British don't give a damn.
They think the Falklands
are like Scotland.
The islanders, they've been shut out
along with the Black and yellow
races from other colonies.
But these people go on pretending
to be the leaders.
Come on!
They're also rather afraid
of coming under a dictatorship
that wipes out
thousands of its own people.
We could come to a solution.
Safeguards.
Joint sovereignty.
Lisbon, something.
Otherwise,
by the 150th anniversary...
HE CLICKS FINGERS
Don't take any notice of the Latin
macho tricks, Mr Winchester.
I'd watch how much you said
to him, too, about the situation.
Don't worry, Des.
You already told me
the exact number of Marines
they sent down on the Endurance.
And even the names.
Bollocks!
LAUGHTER
MUSIC RESUMES
There you are.
Mavis?
Could I have a word, please?
Excuse me.
Right.
That's the last one of documents.
Thank God for that.
What's that dog got in his mouth?
Oh, Christ, it's Arthur!
Why couldn't you leave it
while you were digging?
You stupid bugger!
Come back here!
Fritzy, drop the parrot!
Fritzy!
You bloody idiot!
There's an invasion coming tonight,
Mrs Lamb.
Here, Fritzy!
This is the sort of thing that only
happens to Afghans and so on.
I mean...
They're not here...
tonight.
Why would anyone bother over
half a million sheep
and some seaweed?
Mavis, you love it here.
The people, yes.
This house.
How many Argentines
are we talking about, anyway?
At least a couple of thousand.
For starters.
Then why don't you just
throw in the towel?
The Marines will be arriving
to set up soon.
This will be operational HQ,
and I don't want you or Tony,
or any of the staff,
staying overnight.
You made me leave you in Saigon,
I am not going to leave you now.
We might be fired at!
Your staying is out of question.
Darling.
It's not Saigon.
That time I sent you
thousands of miles away,
tonight you'll
be up the road at Dick and Connie's.
She and the girls
could do with some support.
Where is Tony, by the way?
Out with the usual boys, I believe.
Well, would you call him
to come home immediately?
And then tell the staff
to go to friends' houses.
They can take their most precious
possessions with them.
Heaven, if something happened
to you, I...
I...
Oh, they'll probably just
blockade us.
And we'll have to sort it out
in the UN.
A career of hardship postings,
retirement round the corner,
and the FO expect you
to command a bloody battle!
Come on, Mavis, let's be fair.
Very few were actually
hardship postings at all.
They counted time and a half
towards pension entitlement.
They're bastards!
Think of the places
we could have gone.
Well... this will show them
just what they were missing.
It could prove to be my finest hour
if I keep my head.
SHE WHIMPERS
Keep your head.
I bloody well hope you do!
FOLK MUSIC PLAYS
Thank you, Jimmy Shand and His Band.
OK.
Get your ears tuned in
for the Governor, folks.
'Good evening.
'I have an important
announcement to make
'about the Falkland Islands dispute.
'We have sought an emergency
meeting of the Security Council.'
There is mounting evidence
that the Argentine forces
are preparing to invade the islands.
I am calling on all members,
all active members,
of the Falkland Islands
Defence Force
to report to the Drill Hall
as soon as possible.
Remain calm.
Stay indoors.
And please, do not add to the
troubles of the security services
by making demonstrations,
or damaging Argentine property.
'This would play into their hands.'
If the Security Council
is not heeded
by the Argentine government...
..I expect to declare
a state of emergency.
Perhaps before dawn.
'I shall let you know soon as I have
anything further to report.
'Thank you.'
Well, as the situation
is rather serious...
..erm...
FIBS will stay on the air
throughout the night.
As it says in those large,
famously friendly letters
on the cover of the
Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy,
don't panic.
And now for something appropriate.
Strangers In The Night.
MUSIC: 'Strangers In The Night'
by Jack Jones
You think this isn't happening,
don't you?
You said it never could.
Thank you, all,
straight back to work.
Let's go.
Oh, God.
All right, quickly, outside.
Dick, I've got to draft
a state of emergency.
Have you any idea how it's done?
No. I'm afraid not.
I think we'll have to go back
to 1939.
It sounds absurd, I know.
Ah!
But there you are.
"We shall fight them
on the beaches."
If only we could.
Bloody Argies!
Get this, get this.
See this.
I see no ships!
Lord Nelson?
Maggie Thatcher.
HE CHUCKLES
Oh, thank you.
All women out.
Liqueur chocolate?
Thanks, Mrs Hunt.
TELEPHONE RINGS
Have you seen the cat, Nanny?
Oh...
Forget the Wedgwood, nanny.
Go on, quickly.
Here. Ssh! Go.
May I?
Of course, yes.
There you go.
There.
Now, off you go, quickly.
Tony.
It looks like you
got your priorities right, Nanny.
Come on.
COUGHING
MAN GAGS
Oh, cheers, Tom.
That'll take the taste away, boys.
Dad?
I'm volunteering
for the Defence Force.
Well, like I said...
All right, Jim?
Jim!
All right, Jim?
Jim, good man.
Mike, Jim Fairfield.
Ah. I heard your name, Jim.
Was it Zulu Company Ulster?
You always liked the punch-ups.
Ah. Excuse me. Jim?
You're not even in the FIDF.
They walk round with their brains
in their right hand,
if you know what I mean.
That's not fair, Jimmy.
Besides, you've got a family.
All right, you war-y bastard,
see Colour Sergeant Muir here
for a proper weapon.
And maybe some kit, huh?
The press, Sir.
Gentleman.
Evening, Sir.
I persuaded Cable and Wireless
to stay up all night.
It's important to me personally
that this story gets told
as it happens.
Since I suspect there are those
who'd rather it wasn't.
Thank you, gentlemen.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Oh, Mr Winchester,
have you got a moment?
Please, thank you.
Can you imagine anything like this
in my decades of diplomatic service?
Kuching, Jesselton, Brunei, Jakarta,
Kuala Lumpur, Ankara, Saigon.
Even Saigon, I can assure you,
was not like this.
Look at these telegrams.
London must have known
since yesterday, I expect.
Is that attributable, Sir?
Don't be daft.
Just make sure
the bloody beans are spilled
over the front of tomorrow's Times.
Now, go back and keep an eye
on Gilobert for me.
I, erm, I got wind of Tony's
plans to join the FIDF.
It's just the one son, is it?
And a daughter back home.
Ah, well,
she's well out of it, then.
No, not really.
She's engaged to a lieutenant in
the Marines who's served down here.
He's bound to be on standby soon.
If anyone bothers to get
the place back for us, that is.
They'll bother all right.
If they're interested
in staying in office.
And we'll be reinforced
at Government House by our guests -
the Naval Hydrographers
of HMS Endurance.
It'll make a change
from map making in the Antarctic.
LAUGHTER
Now, I haven't bullshitted you
about the odds.
We'll fight until the Governor
throws in the towel
or until we're overrun.
Which probably means dying.
I want you to face that...
..death.
Think about what it means now.
And when the firing starts,
forget it.
You are the Green Berets.
The Royals.
That means you will knock seven
shades of excrement out of them
before you go down.
Don't get angry with whoever
dropped you in the smelly stuff.
You're in fathoms of it.
And it's too late.
Get angry with the arrogant bastards
who are planning to waltz in here
thinking you'll just take it
up the bum.
LAUGHTER
Now, Gary's men know this place
and like it.
And I'm sure some of them
have got local girls on their minds.
Maybe even sheep.
LAUGHTER
But half of us haven't even
had time to find the pub.
Tonight, when the time comes...
..we're fighting for ourselves.
For what Royal stands for.
For one another.
Any questions?
All right, lads, let's go for it.
Thanks, boss.
Well done, mate.
ENGINE HUMS OUTSIDE
Couldn't have done it myself.
There's 70 men here, right?
And they're going to die.
And there's fuck all you and I
can do about it.
ACOUSTIC GUITAR,
ETHEREAL SINGING
I know nothing of an invasion.
Nothing.
IMITATING: "I know nothing!"
I'm sorry?
HE SCOFFS
Why don't we put the islanders
on this spot.
And all Argentine's gonna have
is the Malvina.
Sovereignty is indivisible.
As they say.
I know the Kelpers very well.
My children speak English like...
Well, like Kelpers.
But what crime is there for you
gringos speaking some Spanish, huh?
SHE SPEAKS SPANISH
Muy bien.
This is Zero, have arrived
at local Defence Force, over.
Not many magazines
or automatic weapons left.
Good evening.
Good evening.
Not now you've taken those
you need, Major.
Good evening.
Good evening.
WOMAN: They pass easy for Molotovs.
I'm going back to my doubts,
for a shotgun.
I want your best men positioned
on the ridge above Government House.
I'm afraid our chain of command
comes from the Governor.
I'll speak to him about it.
Tell Sergeant Muir we'll
do his best for the rest of them.
Right.
Right, boys and girls.
I've come to volunteer,
Major Norman.
As what?
Combat despatch rider, sir.
REVS ENGINE
No despatches to deliver, Tony.
Ah, but the FOV of war.
Your radio net will jam.
And I'm the fastest thing
on two wheels around here.
He is, too, Sir.
HE CHUCKLES
I think the boss' son'll go home
in a body bag.
HE SIGHS
GEORDIE BREAKS WIND,
RELIEVED SIGH
Permission to strangle
a darkie, Corporal.
Well, make sure no Argie
jumps up with a bayonet
to give you a second arsehole.
HE LAUGHS
A resting party for enemy nationals
assemble in a waiting order, Sir.
Not yet, major.
Not before the invasion force
is off our shores.
Or the White House efforts fail.
On another point, Sir.
Mm-hm.
I'm asking you to have the FIDF
posted along the ridge behind us.
I'll see what I can do.
Thanks.
Well done, Mavis.
Thank you, Don.
Major?
Thank you, Mrs Hunt, very kind.
Thank you, Mrs Hunt.
You're beginning to bear up,
darling.
Does anyone want some more cocoa?
Tony?
Never mind.
Your real place is at her side.
Mm?
I'm assigning Marine Dorey as your
personal bodyguard from now on, Sir.
Ah.
What was your last pistol
score like, Sir?
Emptied every round from
a Colt 45s each hand
into a sandbag at 15 paces.
But that was the north-west frontier
35 years ago.
And this isn't a Colt 45.
I expect you'll want to familiarise
yourself with it, then, Sir.
Ah.
Yes.
MAN SINGS IN OWN LANGUAGE
Hey, Winchester.
Why don't you piss off?
Oi!
You a closet Argie?
No, Sergeant Major.
Then make your weapon safe
before you kill us all.
Thank you, Sir.
Fucking plant life.
What frequency are you using
tonight, Sir?
Runners will phone in when they can.
Here, Sir.
Yes.
Fuck off!
No!
That's very considerate of
you, Major.
You never know who might be
skulking in the bushes tonight.
Would you care for a drink?
I think not, Mrs Hunt,
thank you very much.
Nobody wants to drink
with me, Major.
I'm not really
a gin and tonic man myself.
I have beer.
Scottish, I believe.
Can't let the Argies get that
down their throats, now, can we?
Sit down.
All right?
Thank you, Ma'am.
SHE EXHALES
Cheers.
Cheers.
It must be pretty upsetting for you.
Just off the boat.
Looking forward to year
of ceremonials
and outdoor pursuits.
Actually, I think it
makes it rather easier,
not having any ties to the place.
But you care
about your boys, surely?
Very much so.
I mean, they are such lovely boys.
It all seems too ghastly.
What I'm asking is...
..sweet though the Falklands may be,
they are...
Do you really think they are worth
the life
of even a single Royal Marine?
It would be letting the Corps
of Marines down
if we didn't put up a strong fight.
Right.
For what?
Sheep at any price?
I suspect my son would like to be
you, given half a chance.
He's a brave young man.
He's a boy...
..who wanted to impress his father.
And unless his father calls a halt,
your boys will fight on until...
Or until we are overrun.
But I'm sure your husband will know
when the game's up.
I'm not.
He's an extremely poor loser, Major.
Can't you tell him
when it's time to surrender?
The boys wouldn't thank me for it.
Surrender isn't something
in our vocabulary, I'm afraid.
She'll make sure heads roll
for this.
We are not entirely blameless too,
you know, at Government House.
What rot!
You've been warning them for yonks
something might happen.
No. Do you remember
those two Argentinian architectural
students who visited,
oh, months ago?
Vaguely, why?
The Anglo-Argentine one
was so charming.
His subject was Victorian
colonial structures.
I showed them round.
They asked to see
the building's plans.
I even...
HE CLEARS THROAT
..I even let them take photographs.
RADIO CRACKLES
HE WHISTLES
GUN COCKS
HE RESUMES WHISTLING
TELEPHONE RINGS
Gary, I...
I'll see you tomorrow.
Don! Oh, Don.
Brilliant thinking.
Right...
Sorry I couldn't run you up
to the baker's, Mrs Hunt.
Only I'm helping with the defences
here, you see?
Erm...
Mavis.
Excuse me, please.
Yes, of course.
Dear...
OK, Mum. Off we go.
Cheerio, Dad.
We'll see you in the morning.
Yes.
You know...
HE CLEARS THROAT
..in my day...
..it was turn, cock, squeeze, turn.
You wouldn't like to swap, Dorey?
No.
Wait here a minute.
Don?
You've bagged my 12-bore.
HE CHUCKLES
How come it's still up there?
Well, Sir,
I took the decision to leave it
flying tonight, Sir.
And to shoot the first Argie bastard
who tries to take it down.
Did I do the wrong thing, Sir?
No.
No, that's the spirit, Don.
I...
I was just thinking about the people
who are coming here
to trample all over us.
Can I get you a brandy
or a whiskey, Sir?
I...
..I won't, thank you.
Don... it would cheer me up no end,
if you were to leave GH tonight.
I'm not having you hurt.
Any word from London, Dick?
Well, I'm afraid...
Nothing of any substance.
Stupid of me to ask.
What time is
the Reagan-Galtieri talk?
Well, the federal time,
I mean, that's if the Argies take
the bloody phone call this time,
it is about one hour before
the invasion fleet's ETA.
Well, there's nothing much we can
accomplish ourselves till then.
So I suggest you do
what I'm going to do.
What, Sir?
Get some sleep.
GUN COCKS
Halt. Who goes there?
We're Brits. We're not Argentinians.
My arse! I've never seen
you before in my life.
I'm Simon Winchester
of the Sunday bloody Times.
Hey, you were next to me
in the Goose tonight.
Look, we're only
trying to get to Government House.
Only?
No-one's allowed near there.
Passports?
At present, there is no indication
that the Argentine task force
has changed course.
Government House has asked everyone
please not to go
out to Cape Pembroke looking for it.
And now, for Fred, Joyce,
Pop and Biffo,
from Dolly...
Ah.
MUSIC: 'Yesterday'
by The Beatles
# Yesterday... #
Keep them all calm, eh, Tom?
Got my mum to collect my daughters
tonight.
I wonder if my ex'll
even bother calling
when the news gets out in the UK.
Huh? Hey?
# Suddenly
# I'm not half the man I used to be
# There's a shadow hanging
Over me... #
HE GROANS
# Yesterday came suddenly
# Why she had to go
# I don't know... #
SWITCHES RADIO OFF
HE LAUGHS,
PENGUINS CHIRP
HE LAUGHS
THEY CHUCKLE
It's me.
Dick.
Reagan finally got through
to Galtieri,
only to be
told to piss off basically.
Shall I round up the Argentine
workers, Rex?
But be bloody careful, Dick.
And when you've done that
you can call it a day.
Go back to Connie.
Come on, keep up, faster.
You keep your hands up.
Up, come on, up!
Now, come on, keep together.
Point your gun at them,
show them you mean business.
That's it, come on.
Right, this is the last stop.
I don't know which frightens me
more, the Argentine Armada
or waking Des King
in the middle of the night.
Stay there.
Right, we'll have to smash
the window.
I know, I know.
He only had it put in last week.
Ah, Government House
said you'd be coming.
Gilobert's vanished, I'm afraid.
Oh, shit!
What on earth are you
trying to find now?
Transmitters.
In the lapels?
I know about these things.
Look, try and find the guest list,
some Latin-sounding names.
All right, keep them covered.
POP RECORD SLOWS THEN STOPS
Now over to GH for an urgent
announcement from His Excellency.
No!
REX ON RADIO: 'The idea of a mission
by Vice President Bush,
'was rejected.'
ALL TALK AT ONCE
'I have no alternative but
to declare a state of emergency.'
Will you be quiet?!
'With immediate effect.'
Toothbrush! For Christ's sake,
Des, hurry up.
'Under the emergency powers
of ordnance of 1939.'
Let me get my daughter
down to translate. Yes.
'Let me just say...'
Get Alison, go on.
'..that the morale
of the Royal Marines
'and the Falkland Islands
Defence Force, is terrific.
'And it makes me proud
to be their Commander-in-Chief.'
He was great, Mum.
It's just like
the Battle of Britain.
Dunkirk, I think.
RADIO HOST: 'Thank you,
your Excellency.
'We'll bring listeners anything
dramatic as soon it happens.
But now... some Mantovani.
Well, if they're coming,
they're late.
It's typical bloody Latins.
HUBBUB
Mr Baker.
It might be pretty invaluable
to have a Spanish speaker
with us tonight
in case there were
a cease-fire or peace talks.
Look, leave her be, Dick,
leave her be.
I haven't said anything
about the unpaid bills. All right?
All right, all right.
Look, I'm gonna go home
and put my head down for a while.
Call me if you need me.
Good boys.
Take your positions
in the West Wing.
I'll detail someone to take these
plonkers back to their hotel.
Major, if you chaps
are being written off,
shouldn't some plonker
tell the story?
All right,
you can have that cottage.
But if the bullets do start flying,
you'll be right in the crossfire.
EXPLOSION
I think it's the barracks, Mum.
Mum?
Doesn't look like they plan
on taking any prisoners.
Not likely to, Sir.
The barracks were empty.
REX CHUCKLES
If we're contemplating making
a painless move to the hills,
now's the time, Sir.
But we don't even know
what's going on.
Nobody spotted the enemy.
Which probably means
they landed south.
Behind us.
RADIO BUZZES
Unless we make a move now,
we won't be escaping anywhere.
We can get out under cover
of your FIDF men on the ridge.
I decided to continue
with our original plan
of protecting key installations.
There are barely enough
FIDF men for that.
RADIO CRACKLES
Gary, we'd better get One and Five
sections up there on the ridge.
Mike. Half your men don't have any
rations or sleeping bags.
How long could
they last outside Stanley?
Sort of thing they enjoy enormously
on survival exercises, Sir.
And how often could I broadcast
on radio
before they home in
on transmissions?
Think positive, Sir.
Keep your speeches brief.
And keep on the move.
What do we preserve by doing that,
Major Norman?
The seat of government.
You, Sir.
The seat of government
will stay in this house.
Others may have deserted these
people, but not me.
Five, nothing heard.
Radio check, over.
RADIO CRACKLES
Zero, OK.
Move to my location now, over.
We are asking people
to phone in whatever they see.
I'll put on some more music,
and we'll see what comes up
after that.
SOOTHING ORGAN PLAYS
PENGUINS CHIRP
I don't believe it.
Cable and Wireless
have lost the link with the UK.
Telex phones, the lot.
Sabotage?
No, they are blaming it
on tonight's ionosphere.
One and Five sections are on their
way, Sir.
But it'll be ten minutes plus
before they get into position.
DICK GROANS
HE WHISPERS: Don?
Give me the gun and go.
HE wants me to get a few
of the fuzzy-wuzzies, Sir.
Look, If they come
swarming across that lawn,
a few pellets aren't gonna save
the flag now.
It's time you went next door
to your cottage.
You'll be safe there.
No!
Please?
GEESE HONK
HE WHISPERS: Hey.
SHEEP BLEATS
What the bloody hell
are we firing at?
Get over the wall!
Keep it coming!
Get over the top of that
bloody wall!
Come on, move it.
Come on!
Bloody stun grenade.
It's a stun grenade, go back!
Come on.
Get over that bloody wall!
CRACKLING
Get down, Sir!
Now please stay down.
All stations, this is Zero.
My location...
I'll say it again,
my location under attack. Out.
RADIO CRACKLES
Sergeant Major,
are you still in one piece?
Yes, Sir.
Right.
Make sure all your boys are OK.
And get them
in firing position behind that wall.
Oggie, are you there?
Sergeant Major.
Tibbs?
Yes, Sergeant Major?
Patterson?
Right, Sergeant Major.
You're not married,
are you, Farnworth? Nope.
Makes it that bit easier,
if you see what I mean, Sir.
Made by F Kinman, 1807, sir.
Mr Hunt!
Time to give up, Mr Hunt!
Your phone is cut off.
Armoured amphibious vehicles
will be closing in soon.
Mr Hunt?
We have very superior numbers.
I am sure you are a reasonable man.
Come out with your hands
on your head.
Alone.
Fuck off, you 'Spic bastards!
I'm going back inside.
See what's going on.
HE ROARS
Come on.
Jesus!
Hello, Patrick.
This is the Governor.
Can you hear me?
Top man, Sir.
Sergeant?
GLASS SHATTERS
Sergeant Short,
can you reach the telephone?
The other way round sir.
Yes, Governor?
We'll put you on right away.
We're gonna go over to
His Excellency now.
We're putting you on-air
right away, Sir.
Ah, yeah.
'Well, we've beaten off their first
attack on Government House.
'We're doing very well.'
GUNSHOTS RICOCHET
'Yeah, I can hear
you're having a harassing time.
'I'll put on some music and come
back to you in a little while.'
MUSIC: '(They Long To Be)
Close To You' by The Carpenters
They are trying to kill my husband.
SHE SOBS
Er, right. Erm...
Come here.
I spy with, my little eye,
something beginning with A.
Asphalt.
Argentinians.
Bastards!
HE WAILS
HE EXCLAIMS
Dos, tres.
Shit.
Ready?
Go!
HE WHIMPERS
Argh!
Yes, lad, what's going on?
Two injured, Sir.
The pin's out of the grenade, Sir.
But he's keeping his hand
round the lever.
HE GROANS
Throw your grenade
away from the house.
And we'll send out a medic.
What? Nobody here speaks Spanish?
Fucking marvellous!
MAN SCREAMS
Nine, Roger, out.
Sir, Sir.
One Section engaging
with about eight to ten APCs.
Buggery, I've got
better things to do.
The guy's half off his head.
If he shows any movement like he's
gonna throw the grenade this way,
shoot him.
Are you all right?
Are you OK?
Let's have a look.
Come on, you fucks, come on!
HE GRUNTS
HE SCREAMS
Argh!
HE SCREAMS
HE SCREAMS
Permission to leave my spot.
RADIO: 'Run like shit off a shovel,
Three. Good luck.'
Go! Go on!
Go! Go!
Geordie, move!
SCREAMING
Geordie!
Its jammed, mate,
it's fuckin' jammed!
Geordie, leave the gun
and bloody run!
Ah, you...
Come on!
RADIO: 'Five APCs landing
at Yorke Bay.'
I damn well hope this suit
gets through all right.
It's M&S, you know?
HE CHUCKLES
'Five APCs at Yorke Bay.
Three is engaging.'
Five enemy APCs minimum,
heading in from Yorke Bay.
Right up our back passage.
RADIO OPERATOR:
Zero, confirm number, over.
HE SIGHS
Roger, out.
BULLET THUDS,
HE GRUNTS
HE CONTINUES PRAYER
HE GROANS
PAINED SIGH
HE BREATHES QUICKLY
HE WHIMPERS
SCREAMING OUTSIDE
BOOMING
SCREAMING OUTSIDE
Move!
It's coming.
It's coming!
You boys want a cup of tea?
Get down, you silly bitch!
Can't you see
there's an invasion on?
Hold it, lads.
Come on, steady.
Shit!
Jesus!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
OK, well, go ahead.
Latinos always hit
the radio station first.
We're gonna fucking die, man!
Yeah, OK, OK, go ahead.
Go ahead now, Rhoda.
'I can see Marines running.
And these big vehicles.
'Argentine ones, I think.'
Yeah.
'Going after them, I think.
'It's all very colourful, really.'
Yeah, OK.
Thank you, Rhoda.
Er...
Next caller, please.
'Hello, Patrick.
'Hector.'
Hello, Hector.
I'm calling to say how much
I'm opposed to violence.
And how sorry I am
that this terrible, terrible thing
is happening under our eyes.
GUNSHOTS,
BOOMING
It must be the dumb Army
or the Navy,
nothing to do with the Air Force.
SPORADIC GUNSHOTS
You are all my friends.
I love each of you.
Oh, yeah, yeah!
GUNSHOT RICOCHETS
I'll go and telephone
from Mortar House.
See if I can find out
what's happening.
POP MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO
EXPLOSION
MAN WAILS OUTSIDE,
THEN GROANS WEAKLY
ALARM BLARES
MAN ON RADIO: 'Basically,
we've all been through a lot here.'
It was engaged.
'There's still a lot of calls
coming in.'
We're making a run
to Government House.
Are you lads gonna join us?
We'll cover you.
BOTH: The bloomin' House.
HE SNORES
RADIO: 'Let's try and
cheer ourselves up a bit
'with a little bit of music that
I hope you'll find appropriate.'
SNORING CONTINUES
# Only fools rush in
# And I can't help falling in...#
EXPLOSION
Run!
Come on, Armour!
Come on!
Argh!
Enemy to the left!
Enemy to the left!
Go for cover.
Take cover.
Go! Go! Go! Go!
Come on.
You're shooting at your own guys!
You bastard!
Now what have you got us into?
You cover the Argies,
I'm going forward.
Royal Marines!
Don't fire!
Over here!
Don't fire!
Don't fire!
Get down.
Down!
Get down!
Good lads!
Come for a violent breakfast?
Oi, you!
Knob end!
Get off the street!
Aye, it's all right for youse.
Some of us have to get to work.
I don't why we're bothering
with this lot.
Sorry that took so long, Sir.
Where is he?
The situation is,
there'll be between 12 and 18
Argentine APCs here soon.
Maybe, oh, half an hour.
Enough to blow the shit out of us.
What do you advise now?
It boils down to three options.
One, we can stay here.
We're doing pretty well.
No casualties,
though Christ knows how.
Morale's good.
The boys'll go on fighting
as long as they're told.
Two, we can break out now with you.
And let Gary's men fight
a mini guerrilla war.
Three, negotiate
while we're still dropping them.
And before half an hour,
when they start dropping us.
GUNSHOTS THUD
Dorey!
Whatever he's doing,
let that Argie live.
You favour the break-out?
Sir.
I suppose you want me
to make the bloody decision.
One of the perks of the job, Sir.
Let's try and contact Gilobert.
See if he can reach their commander
and mentioned a truce.
We'll play for time.
POP MUSIC PLAYS
One, two, three, four.
There you go.
GIRLS CHUCKLE
You let me win on purpose,
didn't you, Tony?
I never.
Well, yes, I did.
When your daddy plays,
he never lets me win.
REX ON RADIO: 'There must be
200 of them out there.
'Just a matter of time
before they overrun us.
'But we'll know. We'll see
how long we can hang on.'
But if anyone wants to come
and speak to us, we'll listen.
RADIO HOST: 'Are you
thinking of surrender, Sir?'
I'm not surrendering
to any bloody Argie.
'Fantastic. Well done, Sir.
Thank you.
'You heard those brave words.'
BOTH GROAN SOFTLY
Oi!
Will you shut up, for Christ's sake!
Rex, we've withdrawn
to the Drill Hall.
And now there are lots
of Argentinians outside.
Well, shoot them.
There are lots and lots
of Argentinians outside.
Shoot some of them, then.
We were perfectly willing to fight,
but you ordered us back here.
'And now we're surrounded.'
You say I ordered you back there?
My men are very young, Sir.
And they are very frightened.
'What do you propose we do?'
Well...
tell them to put their weapons
at one end of the room
and sit at the other.
So when the Argentines come in,
they can see that
they are not armed
and they are not aggressive.
We've done that already, Sir.
Very well.
Thank them for me.
And tell them to go home
and get out of uniform.
'And do the same yourself.'
ARGENTINIAN TROOPS EXCLAIM
Oh, Christ, look at them!
GUNSHOTS RICOCHET
Aw, shite!
Jesus!
Go on, son.
I thought you were
the Lieutenant Colonel.
The awesome warrior of Borneo.
I never said all the medals
were real, did I?
You're both Scotsmen, you get him.
HE ROARS
ROARING CONTINUES
What the bloody hell are you doing?
It was the pension, see.
I didn't want to lose my pension
from the department.
Oh, oh.
Come on.
Come on.
So, what are you gonna do, Tom?
Are you gonna stay on?
Are you gonna go back home?
I dunno. Maybe I'll try Lancashire.
You seem to miss it so much.
Oh, no, I've never even been there.
Only get the
Lancashire Evening Post
cos I support a local
football team. So...
MUSIC: 'Sweet Home Alabama'
by Lynyrd Skynyrd
Cease fire! Cease fire1
Come on, Hector, come on!
Come on!
Oh, fuck.
Hold your fire.
Get inside!
CHEERING
Are you all right, Hec?
What's the Spanish
for "big balls", Hector?
LAUGHTER
Come on, this way.
MAN BREATHES SHALLOWLY
Can't we do something, Sir?
The man's stomach's hanging out.
Why don't we just shoot
the poor bastard
and put him out of his misery?
If this cease-fire holds,
see what you can do for him.
Wilcox, you come with me
to the West Wing.
The Droggies
need some extra firepower.
RADIO: 'It looks like the Argentine
armoured column
'is about to enter Stanley.
Please keep inside, everyone.
'I expect they're heading
for Government House.'
No, Tony!
HE SIGHS
RELIEVED SIGH
GUNSHOTS RICOCHET,
SCREAMING
Please don't let them kill us.
Please don't kill us!
All right, darling, I'm sure
he heard you the first time.
Oh, come off it, Hector.
You must know who the commander
of this taskforce is.
I bet he's the one who sent you.
I swear, Your Excellency, I don't.
But whatever else I can do to help.
What we've got to do, Hector,
is broadcast an appeal
to the commander of this force.
Whoever he may be.
For he and you
to rendezvous out there
and come here for a talk.
We're coming to get you in.
Just yell to your mates
to cease fire, OK?
I've no breath.
No strength.
It's all right. I'm a medic,
it's OK, don't panic.
Don't panic. Look, it's all right.
OK, just keep calm.
Just keep calm.
It's all right.
They're on the move, boss.
That's not the rules of the game.
Shoot them, Farnworth.
Sir.
Come on!
No!
Argh!
Hector, if you stay here
and do nothing,
you're likely to end up dying
with us gringos.
Mm?
Now, Dick, don't lose this brolly.
I paid the earth for it
in Brigg's of Piccadilly.
Shall we go?
RADIO: 'Well, ladies and gentlemen,
'it looks like they are coming
into Stanley in a really big way.'
I appreciate this, Hector.
Hey, Sir?
Does this mean we cannot shoot the
bastards anymore?
Not at all. If they shoot at you,
then shoot back.
And even if they move, you shoot!
Thank you, Sir.
You see, there's a bastard
up behind those rocks there,
just tried to kill us.
And he's gotta move sometime.
REX CHUCKLES
You, cover those rocks.
You must have a few slates
missing off your roof.
Nearly shot to pieces
helping those sods,
and you want to carry on
fighting 'em?
You really fancy spilling your guts
here, I reckon.
For this?
Toytown?
Well, it's not for your family,
is it?
Cos you're dumping them.
I mean, they're coming.
Shut your mouth.
THEY SCREAM
Once again, I repeat our message
to the commander
of the Argentine forces.
Please rendezvous
outside the Catholic Church.
Please confirm, Argentine forces.
GUNSHOTS
HE GRUNTS
GEORDIE: That's it, Sir.
Right above you.
SCREAMING
Behind you!
ARGENTINE SOLDIERS ALL SPEAK AT ONCE
CHANTING: Argentina! Argentina!
Argentina! Argentina! Argentina!
Argentina! Argentina!
Why are you smiling?
My wife and the girls,
we're all going to live.
That's why I'm smiling, Hector!
It's not over yet, Dick.
Argentina!
Argentina! Argentina!
Hold your fire!
Hold your fire!
Cease-fire.
Cease-fire!
Cease-fire!
Cease-fire!
CALLER ON RADIO: 'They've all had
their breakfast, a good breakfast.
'And are safe and sound.'
RADIO HOST: 'Any tears shed?'
'No, no, no.
'Well, the odd one.
'We all held hands and sang a song.
We're fine.'
Not you, you shits!
I am Almirante Carlos Busser.
Commander of the Argentine
landing operation.
Colonel Sergeant Muir, Sir,
Royal Marines.
By the Geneva Convention
you are allowed only one side arm.
And while we await
the outcome of the conference,
let's have some more music.
POP MUSIC PLAYS
Just wait there! Now wait there!
Wait there!
You put the gun away.
I'm not doing anything with a gun
to my back.
As you can hear, the Argentines
have taken over the radio station.
Get your gun out of my back.
We've been taken over
by the Argentines.
Senor, un momento.
They have taken over.
They have phoned me
to say they are not happy
with the way I presented.
Well, I'm sorry!
Un momento.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry if they are not happy
with the way I presented.
Uno, dos.
I have tried to be fair.
But I have tried to be unbiased.
Our boys will not get shot...
HE WHIMPERS
Sir!
That is ungentlemanly of you,
Governor Hunt.
It was a most ungentlemanly act
of you to invade our islands.
This is British territory,
and I want you and your men
off it at once.
I command the Argentine task force
that has reclaimed
what is rightfully ours.
Our governments agreed,
in the United Nations,
to settle
their differences peacefully.
I am a marine with the same job
as your Royal Marines had in 1833.
That is to take possession
of these islands.
All that is left is to prevent
your men killing a few of mine.
Whereas your job, Governor,
is to prevent my men
killing all your men.
They have shown great courage
and professionalism.
Now it is time you ask them
to surrender.
I asked for a truce.
Not a surrender.
Your injured men
need medical attention.
Thank you for your concern.
But this is the last place left
under your flag.
So we are not interested
in any truce.
I don't want to kill your men.
But if you continue, then that is
what you are asking me to do.
You will be held responsible.
No!
The people who started the shooting
are the ones who are responsible.
We are simply defending ourselves.
You leave me no choice
but to tell my men to...
To lay down their arms.
Thank you, Governor.
I must insist
that you are ready to fly out
within two hours.
Oh, no, no, I couldn't possibly.
Since I wasn't expecting guests,
I haven't had time to pack.
I am sure we could arrange
an extension.
Plus, I want all my Marines
and Navy personnel
flown out with me.
And a farewell broadcast.
Now, perhaps, if you will
do me the honour.
ARGENTINE SOLDIER: Vamos! Vamos!
MAVIS GASPS
Oh, my God!
Oh!
Can we go home now, please?
RELIEVED SIGH
CHEERING
LAUGHTER
Get back!
Llevarlo al hospital!
ARGENTINE SOLDIER EXCLAIMS
IN SPANISH
Get out of the fucking way.
It's time to surrender, Jim.
Fuck off, Sir.
All right, lads, single file
into the corridor.
For inspection, Port Arms.
Come on. We're dropping
when we could have carried on.
Empty your pouches.
ARGENTINE NATIONAL ANTHEM
PLAYS ON RADIO
'We shall listen
to our national anthem.'
RADIO PRESENTER SPEAKS SPANISH
'Greetings, population
of the Malvinas Islands.
Come on, get all them
magazines emptied.
All your pouches.
All right?
ARGENTINE ANTHEM CONTINUES
Don't piss about, son.
We let them down, Sir.
These people.
We did our best.
It wasn't enough.
Thank you.
Dick.
Cheers!
Cheers, mate!
Cheers, mate.
Come on.
HE SPEAKS SPANISH
CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICK
Don't make me laugh.
Just piss off on the next plane.
I'm Major Dowling.
Military intelligence.
Dowling?
Anglo-Argentine?
Irish-Argentine.
Ah...
Oh, darling!
Are you all right?
I'm fine, I'm fine, my dear.
All right, my boy?
Ssh, ssh, ssh.
CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICK
Look this way, please.
Don't you dare! You...
ARGENTINE SOLDIERS SPEAK SPANISH
What's the meaning?
Only one fatality
in this whole operation.
And it was my best officer
you killed.
I didn't invite him here.
I hope he rots in hell!
HE SPEAKS SPANISH
Major Norman.
Have your men stand up.
My apologies.
Sergeant Major, on their feet.
Quietly does it.
All right, lads, very quietly.
Get yourselves up.
Keep it calm.
Well done. Well done, lads.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Well done, lads. See you.
Geordie! Geordie!
HE MUTTERS IN SPANISH
QUIETLY: Bastard.
Attention!
BUGLER PLAYS
You'd think the bastards
had won the World Cup, Sir.
Attention!
HE LAUGHS
CHEERING
WHISTLING AND CHEERING
Get away from that Dick Francis,
you wretch!
Oh, don't be silly,
you can't travel in that.
You can take it off at the airport.
It'll hearten the islanders
to see me leave in style.
Anyway, Mum, why all
the poncy silver for me to lug?
You won't be needing it
in Sunningdale.
Would you prefer Mrs Hunt
of Sunningdale to have it, or them?
My God!
My medals!
Where's Don?
Don, they've swiped
my bloody medals!
'Those bastards! Look!
They've swiped a lot!'
The bastards, look at that!
Haven't you heard of knocking
on doors where you come from?
HE SCOFFS
You're not going in that.
Ah, Wilkinson.
HE WHISPERS: Watch it.
Ola.
Where did you find it?
In a circus?
Hogg and Johnstone
of Sackville Street, West 1.
They've tailored governor's uniforms
since the first days of the Empire.
Thank God they'll soon
be out of a job.
You'll never persuade
these people to live under you.
When you have someone by the balls,
their hearts and minds soon follow.
Dad, the Land Rover's ready.
The plane is leaving in one hour.
No more delays.
You, that bag.
HE MUTTERS IN SPANISH
Your Excellency,
not a long friendship
should be soiled
by what my countrymen have done.
This is the worst day of my life.
It is just as well you packed
your dress uniform, eh, Hector?
HORN HONKS
Wait, darling.
The flag, I want it as a souvenir.
Don't bother about it, Don.
I wouldn't want it now,
not after where it's been.
How could you?
How could you?
DOWLING CLEARS THROAT
I will be with your son.
I will see you at the airport.
My lovely boys.
WOLF-WHISTLING AND CHEERING
Bastards.
Adios!
# Should auld acquaintance be forgot
# And never brought to mind?
# Should auld acquaintance be forgot
# And days of auld lang syne?
# For auld lang syne, my dear
# For auld lang syne
# We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet
# For the days
Of auld lang syne... #
REX: 'Friends, Kelpers,
'the Argentine governor
has kindly given his permission
'for me to send you this message,
good wishes and thanks
'for all your support.
'I shall never forget you.
'And hope to see you all some day.'
# For auld lang syne. #
'Goodbye, and God bless you all.'
MARGARET THATCHER:
'The government has now decided
'that a large task force will sail
'as soon all preparations
are complete.'
'Failure?
The possibilities do not exist.'
NEWSREADER:
'Now, tens of thousands of men
'are entering the decisive phase
of this conflict,
'as Marines and Paras
close in on Port Stanley.'
NEWSREADER 2: 'But short
of ammunition or not,
'the British shells
kept falling remorselessly
'until the Argentine line broke.'
NEWSREADER 3:
'According to latest reports,
'Governor Rex Hunt
is on his way back to the islands,
'and is widely tipped
for a knighthood.
'Members of the Second Battalion
of the Parachute Regiment
'were the first to reach
Government House.
'Just beating their traditional
rivals, the Royal Marines.
CHEERING
Brought it back for you.
Don't lose it again!
JOURNALIST: 'From The Mail.
Yeah, a few pictures with the flag,
'with you, Sergeant, and your men.'
JOURNALIST 2: 'Go on, sir,
some pictures for the lads.'
SHUTTERS CLICK
CHEERING
NEWSREADER:
'At Downing Street tonight,
'Mrs Thatcher was given
a rapturous welcome
'by the crowds that had gathered.'
NEWSREADER 2: 'Galtieri's
dictatorship has collapsed,
'but no future government
is likely to renounce
'Argentina's claim to the islands.'
CHEERING
NEWSREADER: 'A sizeable
garrison is to be established,
'and an air base is to be built
'with fighter jets
and anti-aircraft defence.'
SOMBRE MUSIC PLAYS
GLASS SHATTERS
Come on.
FANFARE
SONG: 'Fanfare The Royal Tournament/
A Life On The Ocean Wave'
PENGUINS SCREECH
HORSES BRAY
BIRD TWEETS
CAT MEOWS
DOG BARKS
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
SHEEP BLEAT
BLEATING INTENSIFIES
DOG BARKS
Thank you very much, sir.
MAN SPEAKING SPANISH:
Cheers for the lift, boss.
Get your haircut before tonight.
Sir.
You too, driver.
I always thought earrings
and Figaro 'taches on parade,
I thought was one of your windups.
Have you gone native
over the last year?
These boys have done
as many tours as yours.
ENGINE TURNS OVER
Morning, Mrs Mozeley.
Morning, Henry.
Guess what?
I'm off the blacklist today.
Aye, you'll be onto it again
come closing time.
Heh.
THUD
MAN: Argh!
THUDDING,
MAN SCREAMS
ENGINE ROARS OUTSIDE
Right.
That's it!
Ron?
Dear God, that's the last
horror film you get.
No, I've come to the end of that!
Come back here!
Yeah.
Try and get him something
quieter next time would you?
Well, what do you think, Anton?
Not half bad, is it?
Aye, glorious weather.
Tropical uniform, I think, today.
Good morning, Des.
Oh, Vice-Commodore Gilobert.
Thought you'd gone back for good.
Army bloody Air Force!
HE SPEAKS SPANISH
Enjoy your bacon and eggs,
Mr Farnworth?
Excellent, Mrs King.
I'll see if there's any ferries
to South Georgia.
Oh...
Nothing you can do for him
tonight either,
despite your 10,000 ways
with mutton, Mrs King.
He's a vegetarian.
That's all right.
I do a lovely spaghetti Bolognese.
Pipe down, it's the feds.
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen,
this is Patrick Watts,
your broadcasting officer.
It's nine o'clock on Thursday
1st April, and here is the news
from the Falkland Islands
Broadcasting Station.
There have been no further
developments in South Georgia,
where patrol ship Endurance
is expected to put a party
of Royal Marines ashore today
to end the legal presence
of Argentine scrap metal workers.
'Chief of Police Lamb is no
nearer to solving the break-in
'at LADE,
the Argentine airline office.
'Which involved the daubing
of obscene slogans in toothpaste
'and the substituting of a
Union Jack for the Argentine flag.'
ALL TALK AT ONCE
'Former LADE manager
Vice-Commodore Gilobert
'has returned to the islands
'to assist the police enquiry
and improve security.'
Come on, then, you lot.
Hurry up, breakfast finished
an hour ago.
Major Norman,
welcome to the Falkland Islands.
Well, we have to do this,
Major Norman,
for the press, as you realise.
A moment, I have to speak
to Penguin News.
Could you come over here for me?
I'll see you presently.
Right, sir.
Congratulations, Major Norman,
I hope you and your men
have a wonderful year out here.
Thank you, Mrs Hunt.
I must say, I'll be sorry
to see old friends go.
Well, if you'll excuse me, Majors,
I have some leaves to attend to.
Gary, if this situation
gets any worse,
I think it right
that you take over again.
You know the ground.
It's been a bit end-of-term-ish
down here, Mike.
I think you're probably
sharper right now.
Morning.
Morning.
Tony?
The annual rugby match between
the incoming Royal Marine garrison
and the Stanley Ladies first 15,
which was to be refereed
by His Excellency the Governor,
has been cancelled.
I can just hear the sigh of relief
from Major Norman and his men.
Seriously, welcome to our community,
Major Norman and your boys,
and so long to Gary Noott
and the team.
Go and give Jen a hand in the front.
Go on.
You wouldn't mind giving Fifi
the once over, would you, Don?
Yes, she's next in line, Ma'am.
Who was that girl?
ENGINE HUMS
Huh?
Turn that down.
ENGINE STOPS
Who was that girl?
Oh, er, did some revision
last night with me, Mum.
Slept in Diana's room.
Revision in a party frock?
ENGINE REVS
I might just kill that
boy before he flies back to school.
Most likely another
of the Argentine's bizarre ways
of staking their claims.
HE CHUCKLES
They even fly officers' wives
out here to have babies.
Dare we even complain,
when their military
run our only air link?
They're bound to know
our Buenos Aires military attache
had to pay his own bloody fair when
he came to recce here last month.
Well, a two-inch mortar
should hold up any sub's
landing party for a while.
It's still got a crack in it, Mike.
If anyone lands from this sub,
the best I can do is invite them
in for a short, sharp lecture
and a glass of sherry.
The FO at my briefing, bless him,
were confident this was
a niggling phase.
How many in our submarine
reaction party?
Five.
PENGUINS HONK
Do you think this stuff stretches?
Aye, this is the only beach short
enough for it, Corporal Armour.
Been looking forward to this.
Clean-air, good open spaces
for a weapons instructor.
Wildlife.
What are the females like?
Five blokes to a bird
down here, Corporal.
Aye, but that
lot aren't too fussy!
Shut it, Geordie.
PLANE HUMS OVERHEAD
Argentine.
Permission to give her
an eye, Corporal.
ARMOUR LAUGHS
Yow!
Tell Zero.
RADIO TUNES THROUGH STATIONS
TANGO MUSIC PLAYS
No rumba-tango stuff in here,
if you please.
A bit difficult to avoid
a whole continent, Mr King.
I'm doubling you up tonight.
Bookings coming in from Goose Green.
I thought Government House was 25.
25 and three rings.
One shot, two long.
Er.
Got you down for smoke-oh, I expect.
What-oh?
Smoke-oh.
Elevenses.
Yeah, 25, please, and three rings.
One short, two long.
One short, two long.
I wouldn't mind
using her as a necklace.
Leave the Gunnery Officer
a waitress, Corporal.
Morning, Duchess.
Fancy getting out of the wet?
Here, I thought you were supposed
to be on alert.
And how would you know?
We're going into Stanley
to get my kids.
Now, you gonna give us a lift
or not?
Sorry. Our mission's classified.
Oh, the older one's a paper bag job.
That was his wife, Corporal.
Ex-wife.
Yeah, well, she didn't strike me as
a bag of laughs either.
Sounds like you're well shot of her.
And his kids, Corporal.
ARMOUR LAUGHS
Sorry, Geordie.
A bit messy that.
After wangling four tours,
it was time to piss off anyway.
What, with the marital bliss
and the maintenance.
But then God sussed us, eh?
And fixed an international crisis.
ARMOUR LAUGHS
Hey, come on, don't hog it.
Huh. Well, I'd shag her!
Boys, don't stand in the rain.
Pop into the kitchen for tea.
Nanny and I keep an open house,
you know?
Come on, Farnworth,
we're off to do some spying.
I hear the west store's got
a good tinned fruit shipment in.
Good afternoon.
Hello.
Hello, young lady.
Mrs Hunt?
Excuse me.
John's finished our conservatory,
and I'd like to ask
your advice about...
Petunias, begonias,
shrubs and grapes.
Grapes?
Yes, of course you must.
Why don't you pop by about teatime
tomorrow, if you like,
we won't have much on.
Yes, thank you very much.
So, what time did you first
notice the, er...?
First thing in the morning.
Right, OK, that's fine,
thank you very much.
We'll be in touch
if there's anything.
Be useful if we had some bloody kit
to intercept transmissions,
or at least some cheapo
bugging device
for all those gas workers
up at the Goose.
Gilobert doesn't seem to be
inside any more, Sir.
Hector.
Lovely to see you.
How's Teresa and the children?
They miss the beaches.
She's spending all my money
in Harrods.
Gone to London?
No, the Buenos Aires range.
CHUCKLING
My successor, Major Mike Norman.
Pleased to meet you.
How do you do?
Substantial Argentinian force
invading at dawn, Gary.
No doubt we sold them
a substantial part of it.
It takes days to sail that far.
Radio transmissions, intercepts.
GCHQ probably have only one person
monitoring the entire continent's
radio activity.
Yet Joint Intelligence Committee
must have known.
Probably hoped the fleet
would just go away.
Anyway, Major Norman,
it's up to you to advise how we
make our dispositions accordingly.
I'm going with Gary's
contingency plans, Sir,
because I've had no time to form
an assessment of my own.
I have resources to defend
one beach.
Choosing the deep one,
on the assumption it'll be
landing craft we face.
If, on the other hand,
they have modern amphibious
personnel carriers
it'll be the shallow beach they use.
Have we had any intelligence?
No intelligence.
Only one MI6 man in Latin America.
Even if he is in Argentina.
Then it'll be bingo or bollocks.
Stanley, we put
the majority of Gary's men there,
they can tie down
hundreds of the enemy,
even thousands, in street fighting.
The walls are wood.
There can be no fighting in Stanley.
Good heavens. In the 50 years before
I became Governor,
there wasn't a single murder
on the islands.
It's about to change, Rex.
I presume our objective
is to hold out long enough
for a UN resolution to be achieved.
Or a cease-fire.
You saw the telegram.
The FO's not letting on.
By evacuating Government House
and taking to the hills,
we protect Stanley
and preserve sovereignty.
You transmit to the islands,
we carry out guerrilla attacks.
If they don't actually land,
we'll look ridiculous
bolting to the hills.
Besides, it's tantamount to leaving
the front door open.
Sir, as C&C,
you are a prime target for any
snatch squads.
The enemy will have excellent cover.
Including the only trees
on the island, I believe.
And as for the walls,
you said it yourself.
We might as well do it like Zulu
and form an infantry Square.
It's a long way to the hills.
Rough ground.
Sir, you've approved the plan.
As did your predecessor,
and he had a wooden leg!
Rex, if they come in from
behind Stanley,
cutting off escape routes,
this will be our Alamo.
Better we take it in the guts
than the women and children.
Thank you, gentlemen.
I would have thought
he would have asked me,
after a year here,
to resume command.
C&C.
Never commanded in any more
than a Spitfire myself.
But then you were one of the few,
weren't you, Rex?
No, I'm afraid not.
I missed the war by a whisker.
Pray for a gale to dash them
on the rocks like the Armada.
Bastards.
Bastards.
Buenos Aires or London?
REX COUGHS
Hello, all stations.
This is Nine, over.
Radio check, over.
What kind of weapons training
have those naval hydrographers had?
The droggies
can hardly handle mapping pens,
let alone assault rifles.
Come on, prat!
Thank you.
I'll take that.
Look what I've managed to...
Good afternoon, Mavis.
Sorry, Mavis, I forgot to say.
Just a few things
I have to arrange with the FIG.
Yes.
Yes, of course.
I'm sorry.
Pardon me.
Couldn't cypher one, Sir.
HE EXHALES
The latest piece of joy
from Whitehall
is that the Argentines
have excellent intelligence,
probably via an inside element.
Well, you don't need the brains of
an Archbishop to work that one out.
I'm sorry, Rex,
but I simply can't believe
that Hector Gilobert
is capable of it.
He wouldn't tell you
if your coat caught fire.
The Baha'i's perhaps.
Oh, come off it, Ronnie,
they're Americans.
It's a question of do we lockup
our Argentines now?
And risk triggering the invasion,
however much the better not
is that the FO advise against it.
Well, I think you're the one
to judge that, Rex.
Typical of Whitehall
to choose this occasion
for my first solo flight
and not provide a parachute.
Once documents went over the ship's
side in the war,
things were getting
pretty grim, Ma'am.
Dick, I know all about treading
and bearing.
Are you going to tell me what's up?
Or do I have to force it
out of my husband?
I'm sorry, Mavis, but...
THUDDING
SHE GASPS
Shut the door.
Mavis, it's still classified.
And HE is still up to his ears.
Now, I'm sorry.
THUDDING CONTINUES
I suppose everyone is
going to be working late.
Yes.
Then I'll tell cook to make
a vat of lasagne.
Thank you.
BROKEN GLASS CLINKS
HE CLEARS THROAT
Rex, why have you not told Mavis?
Saigon.
What?
1975 was the last time we went
off with our tails between our legs.
Or rather,
a Yank tail between Yank legs.
Pretty undignified
in our embassy too.
Anyway, Mavis dug her heels in.
She'd have clung to
the bloody chopper rails
if I hadn't thrown her bodily
onto a Hong Kong flight.
Now, I'm...
I'm afraid if I tell her the truth,
she'll refuse to budge tonight,
even if it means going down
with the ship.
Can I get Mavis and Tony
up to your house?
If it's all right with Connie.
Instead of standing there
scratching your loose change, Wilco,
go and check out our escape route.
No chance of one of
the inflatables, then?
Instead of that?
Yeah, there's two left.
One with a hole in,
and another one with two holes in.
Someone's gonna carry the can
for this.
Yeah, us.
Thank you, Don.
Stiffen my resolve
at whatever horror's to come.
SHE SIGHS
I expect it's
the Argentines on the way.
Don't you?
No-one's told me either, Ma'am.
Sorry, sir.
Hey?
Where's my...?
It's right here, sir.
Excuse me, Chief,
Bill here used to work
in air traffic control
in his native land.
This is it.
The Argies come flying in
to take the airport, right?
This golf ball
is the radio direction
beacon, right?
The desk is land, the floor is sea.
You gotta have a signal
late at tonight, right?
But what they don't know,
is that I'm gonna fix it
to trick the incomers like so.
Yes!
APPLAUSE
Well, that ought to drown
a few of the buggers, sir.
LAUGHTER
The beacon is owned
by the Argentines, Bill.
The FO doesn't want any premature
action against their property.
GRUMBLING
Oh, all right.
Can you be sure it could work?
Well, I'm not an avionics
technician.
One tool, fine adjustment.
LAUGHTER
If we can't alter the signal,
we kill it.
Bill?
We'll take you up there.
And do take care.
I thought you Baha'i's came down
to get away from it all.
I'm a Shiite Muslim, Sir.
Shiite Muslim?
# Well, this could be the last time
# This could be the last time
# Maybe the last time
# I don't know
# Oh, no. #
MEN CHEER
CHEERING
PRIEST SAYS PRAYER IN SPANISH
SONG: 'Ave Maria'
# Ave Maria
# Gratia plena. #
JAUNTY FOLK MUSIC
My senses tell me
that Hunt is contemplating
a touch of the old Mano Dura.
The British don't give a damn.
They think the Falklands
are like Scotland.
The islanders, they've been shut out
along with the Black and yellow
races from other colonies.
But these people go on pretending
to be the leaders.
Come on!
They're also rather afraid
of coming under a dictatorship
that wipes out
thousands of its own people.
We could come to a solution.
Safeguards.
Joint sovereignty.
Lisbon, something.
Otherwise,
by the 150th anniversary...
HE CLICKS FINGERS
Don't take any notice of the Latin
macho tricks, Mr Winchester.
I'd watch how much you said
to him, too, about the situation.
Don't worry, Des.
You already told me
the exact number of Marines
they sent down on the Endurance.
And even the names.
Bollocks!
LAUGHTER
MUSIC RESUMES
There you are.
Mavis?
Could I have a word, please?
Excuse me.
Right.
That's the last one of documents.
Thank God for that.
What's that dog got in his mouth?
Oh, Christ, it's Arthur!
Why couldn't you leave it
while you were digging?
You stupid bugger!
Come back here!
Fritzy, drop the parrot!
Fritzy!
You bloody idiot!
There's an invasion coming tonight,
Mrs Lamb.
Here, Fritzy!
This is the sort of thing that only
happens to Afghans and so on.
I mean...
They're not here...
tonight.
Why would anyone bother over
half a million sheep
and some seaweed?
Mavis, you love it here.
The people, yes.
This house.
How many Argentines
are we talking about, anyway?
At least a couple of thousand.
For starters.
Then why don't you just
throw in the towel?
The Marines will be arriving
to set up soon.
This will be operational HQ,
and I don't want you or Tony,
or any of the staff,
staying overnight.
You made me leave you in Saigon,
I am not going to leave you now.
We might be fired at!
Your staying is out of question.
Darling.
It's not Saigon.
That time I sent you
thousands of miles away,
tonight you'll
be up the road at Dick and Connie's.
She and the girls
could do with some support.
Where is Tony, by the way?
Out with the usual boys, I believe.
Well, would you call him
to come home immediately?
And then tell the staff
to go to friends' houses.
They can take their most precious
possessions with them.
Heaven, if something happened
to you, I...
I...
Oh, they'll probably just
blockade us.
And we'll have to sort it out
in the UN.
A career of hardship postings,
retirement round the corner,
and the FO expect you
to command a bloody battle!
Come on, Mavis, let's be fair.
Very few were actually
hardship postings at all.
They counted time and a half
towards pension entitlement.
They're bastards!
Think of the places
we could have gone.
Well... this will show them
just what they were missing.
It could prove to be my finest hour
if I keep my head.
SHE WHIMPERS
Keep your head.
I bloody well hope you do!
FOLK MUSIC PLAYS
Thank you, Jimmy Shand and His Band.
OK.
Get your ears tuned in
for the Governor, folks.
'Good evening.
'I have an important
announcement to make
'about the Falkland Islands dispute.
'We have sought an emergency
meeting of the Security Council.'
There is mounting evidence
that the Argentine forces
are preparing to invade the islands.
I am calling on all members,
all active members,
of the Falkland Islands
Defence Force
to report to the Drill Hall
as soon as possible.
Remain calm.
Stay indoors.
And please, do not add to the
troubles of the security services
by making demonstrations,
or damaging Argentine property.
'This would play into their hands.'
If the Security Council
is not heeded
by the Argentine government...
..I expect to declare
a state of emergency.
Perhaps before dawn.
'I shall let you know soon as I have
anything further to report.
'Thank you.'
Well, as the situation
is rather serious...
..erm...
FIBS will stay on the air
throughout the night.
As it says in those large,
famously friendly letters
on the cover of the
Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy,
don't panic.
And now for something appropriate.
Strangers In The Night.
MUSIC: 'Strangers In The Night'
by Jack Jones
You think this isn't happening,
don't you?
You said it never could.
Thank you, all,
straight back to work.
Let's go.
Oh, God.
All right, quickly, outside.
Dick, I've got to draft
a state of emergency.
Have you any idea how it's done?
No. I'm afraid not.
I think we'll have to go back
to 1939.
It sounds absurd, I know.
Ah!
But there you are.
"We shall fight them
on the beaches."
If only we could.
Bloody Argies!
Get this, get this.
See this.
I see no ships!
Lord Nelson?
Maggie Thatcher.
HE CHUCKLES
Oh, thank you.
All women out.
Liqueur chocolate?
Thanks, Mrs Hunt.
TELEPHONE RINGS
Have you seen the cat, Nanny?
Oh...
Forget the Wedgwood, nanny.
Go on, quickly.
Here. Ssh! Go.
May I?
Of course, yes.
There you go.
There.
Now, off you go, quickly.
Tony.
It looks like you
got your priorities right, Nanny.
Come on.
COUGHING
MAN GAGS
Oh, cheers, Tom.
That'll take the taste away, boys.
Dad?
I'm volunteering
for the Defence Force.
Well, like I said...
All right, Jim?
Jim!
All right, Jim?
Jim, good man.
Mike, Jim Fairfield.
Ah. I heard your name, Jim.
Was it Zulu Company Ulster?
You always liked the punch-ups.
Ah. Excuse me. Jim?
You're not even in the FIDF.
They walk round with their brains
in their right hand,
if you know what I mean.
That's not fair, Jimmy.
Besides, you've got a family.
All right, you war-y bastard,
see Colour Sergeant Muir here
for a proper weapon.
And maybe some kit, huh?
The press, Sir.
Gentleman.
Evening, Sir.
I persuaded Cable and Wireless
to stay up all night.
It's important to me personally
that this story gets told
as it happens.
Since I suspect there are those
who'd rather it wasn't.
Thank you, gentlemen.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Oh, Mr Winchester,
have you got a moment?
Please, thank you.
Can you imagine anything like this
in my decades of diplomatic service?
Kuching, Jesselton, Brunei, Jakarta,
Kuala Lumpur, Ankara, Saigon.
Even Saigon, I can assure you,
was not like this.
Look at these telegrams.
London must have known
since yesterday, I expect.
Is that attributable, Sir?
Don't be daft.
Just make sure
the bloody beans are spilled
over the front of tomorrow's Times.
Now, go back and keep an eye
on Gilobert for me.
I, erm, I got wind of Tony's
plans to join the FIDF.
It's just the one son, is it?
And a daughter back home.
Ah, well,
she's well out of it, then.
No, not really.
She's engaged to a lieutenant in
the Marines who's served down here.
He's bound to be on standby soon.
If anyone bothers to get
the place back for us, that is.
They'll bother all right.
If they're interested
in staying in office.
And we'll be reinforced
at Government House by our guests -
the Naval Hydrographers
of HMS Endurance.
It'll make a change
from map making in the Antarctic.
LAUGHTER
Now, I haven't bullshitted you
about the odds.
We'll fight until the Governor
throws in the towel
or until we're overrun.
Which probably means dying.
I want you to face that...
..death.
Think about what it means now.
And when the firing starts,
forget it.
You are the Green Berets.
The Royals.
That means you will knock seven
shades of excrement out of them
before you go down.
Don't get angry with whoever
dropped you in the smelly stuff.
You're in fathoms of it.
And it's too late.
Get angry with the arrogant bastards
who are planning to waltz in here
thinking you'll just take it
up the bum.
LAUGHTER
Now, Gary's men know this place
and like it.
And I'm sure some of them
have got local girls on their minds.
Maybe even sheep.
LAUGHTER
But half of us haven't even
had time to find the pub.
Tonight, when the time comes...
..we're fighting for ourselves.
For what Royal stands for.
For one another.
Any questions?
All right, lads, let's go for it.
Thanks, boss.
Well done, mate.
ENGINE HUMS OUTSIDE
Couldn't have done it myself.
There's 70 men here, right?
And they're going to die.
And there's fuck all you and I
can do about it.
ACOUSTIC GUITAR,
ETHEREAL SINGING
I know nothing of an invasion.
Nothing.
IMITATING: "I know nothing!"
I'm sorry?
HE SCOFFS
Why don't we put the islanders
on this spot.
And all Argentine's gonna have
is the Malvina.
Sovereignty is indivisible.
As they say.
I know the Kelpers very well.
My children speak English like...
Well, like Kelpers.
But what crime is there for you
gringos speaking some Spanish, huh?
SHE SPEAKS SPANISH
Muy bien.
This is Zero, have arrived
at local Defence Force, over.
Not many magazines
or automatic weapons left.
Good evening.
Good evening.
Not now you've taken those
you need, Major.
Good evening.
Good evening.
WOMAN: They pass easy for Molotovs.
I'm going back to my doubts,
for a shotgun.
I want your best men positioned
on the ridge above Government House.
I'm afraid our chain of command
comes from the Governor.
I'll speak to him about it.
Tell Sergeant Muir we'll
do his best for the rest of them.
Right.
Right, boys and girls.
I've come to volunteer,
Major Norman.
As what?
Combat despatch rider, sir.
REVS ENGINE
No despatches to deliver, Tony.
Ah, but the FOV of war.
Your radio net will jam.
And I'm the fastest thing
on two wheels around here.
He is, too, Sir.
HE CHUCKLES
I think the boss' son'll go home
in a body bag.
HE SIGHS
GEORDIE BREAKS WIND,
RELIEVED SIGH
Permission to strangle
a darkie, Corporal.
Well, make sure no Argie
jumps up with a bayonet
to give you a second arsehole.
HE LAUGHS
A resting party for enemy nationals
assemble in a waiting order, Sir.
Not yet, major.
Not before the invasion force
is off our shores.
Or the White House efforts fail.
On another point, Sir.
Mm-hm.
I'm asking you to have the FIDF
posted along the ridge behind us.
I'll see what I can do.
Thanks.
Well done, Mavis.
Thank you, Don.
Major?
Thank you, Mrs Hunt, very kind.
Thank you, Mrs Hunt.
You're beginning to bear up,
darling.
Does anyone want some more cocoa?
Tony?
Never mind.
Your real place is at her side.
Mm?
I'm assigning Marine Dorey as your
personal bodyguard from now on, Sir.
Ah.
What was your last pistol
score like, Sir?
Emptied every round from
a Colt 45s each hand
into a sandbag at 15 paces.
But that was the north-west frontier
35 years ago.
And this isn't a Colt 45.
I expect you'll want to familiarise
yourself with it, then, Sir.
Ah.
Yes.
MAN SINGS IN OWN LANGUAGE
Hey, Winchester.
Why don't you piss off?
Oi!
You a closet Argie?
No, Sergeant Major.
Then make your weapon safe
before you kill us all.
Thank you, Sir.
Fucking plant life.
What frequency are you using
tonight, Sir?
Runners will phone in when they can.
Here, Sir.
Yes.
Fuck off!
No!
That's very considerate of
you, Major.
You never know who might be
skulking in the bushes tonight.
Would you care for a drink?
I think not, Mrs Hunt,
thank you very much.
Nobody wants to drink
with me, Major.
I'm not really
a gin and tonic man myself.
I have beer.
Scottish, I believe.
Can't let the Argies get that
down their throats, now, can we?
Sit down.
All right?
Thank you, Ma'am.
SHE EXHALES
Cheers.
Cheers.
It must be pretty upsetting for you.
Just off the boat.
Looking forward to year
of ceremonials
and outdoor pursuits.
Actually, I think it
makes it rather easier,
not having any ties to the place.
But you care
about your boys, surely?
Very much so.
I mean, they are such lovely boys.
It all seems too ghastly.
What I'm asking is...
..sweet though the Falklands may be,
they are...
Do you really think they are worth
the life
of even a single Royal Marine?
It would be letting the Corps
of Marines down
if we didn't put up a strong fight.
Right.
For what?
Sheep at any price?
I suspect my son would like to be
you, given half a chance.
He's a brave young man.
He's a boy...
..who wanted to impress his father.
And unless his father calls a halt,
your boys will fight on until...
Or until we are overrun.
But I'm sure your husband will know
when the game's up.
I'm not.
He's an extremely poor loser, Major.
Can't you tell him
when it's time to surrender?
The boys wouldn't thank me for it.
Surrender isn't something
in our vocabulary, I'm afraid.
She'll make sure heads roll
for this.
We are not entirely blameless too,
you know, at Government House.
What rot!
You've been warning them for yonks
something might happen.
No. Do you remember
those two Argentinian architectural
students who visited,
oh, months ago?
Vaguely, why?
The Anglo-Argentine one
was so charming.
His subject was Victorian
colonial structures.
I showed them round.
They asked to see
the building's plans.
I even...
HE CLEARS THROAT
..I even let them take photographs.
RADIO CRACKLES
HE WHISTLES
GUN COCKS
HE RESUMES WHISTLING
TELEPHONE RINGS
Gary, I...
I'll see you tomorrow.
Don! Oh, Don.
Brilliant thinking.
Right...
Sorry I couldn't run you up
to the baker's, Mrs Hunt.
Only I'm helping with the defences
here, you see?
Erm...
Mavis.
Excuse me, please.
Yes, of course.
Dear...
OK, Mum. Off we go.
Cheerio, Dad.
We'll see you in the morning.
Yes.
You know...
HE CLEARS THROAT
..in my day...
..it was turn, cock, squeeze, turn.
You wouldn't like to swap, Dorey?
No.
Wait here a minute.
Don?
You've bagged my 12-bore.
HE CHUCKLES
How come it's still up there?
Well, Sir,
I took the decision to leave it
flying tonight, Sir.
And to shoot the first Argie bastard
who tries to take it down.
Did I do the wrong thing, Sir?
No.
No, that's the spirit, Don.
I...
I was just thinking about the people
who are coming here
to trample all over us.
Can I get you a brandy
or a whiskey, Sir?
I...
..I won't, thank you.
Don... it would cheer me up no end,
if you were to leave GH tonight.
I'm not having you hurt.
Any word from London, Dick?
Well, I'm afraid...
Nothing of any substance.
Stupid of me to ask.
What time is
the Reagan-Galtieri talk?
Well, the federal time,
I mean, that's if the Argies take
the bloody phone call this time,
it is about one hour before
the invasion fleet's ETA.
Well, there's nothing much we can
accomplish ourselves till then.
So I suggest you do
what I'm going to do.
What, Sir?
Get some sleep.
GUN COCKS
Halt. Who goes there?
We're Brits. We're not Argentinians.
My arse! I've never seen
you before in my life.
I'm Simon Winchester
of the Sunday bloody Times.
Hey, you were next to me
in the Goose tonight.
Look, we're only
trying to get to Government House.
Only?
No-one's allowed near there.
Passports?
At present, there is no indication
that the Argentine task force
has changed course.
Government House has asked everyone
please not to go
out to Cape Pembroke looking for it.
And now, for Fred, Joyce,
Pop and Biffo,
from Dolly...
Ah.
MUSIC: 'Yesterday'
by The Beatles
# Yesterday... #
Keep them all calm, eh, Tom?
Got my mum to collect my daughters
tonight.
I wonder if my ex'll
even bother calling
when the news gets out in the UK.
Huh? Hey?
# Suddenly
# I'm not half the man I used to be
# There's a shadow hanging
Over me... #
HE GROANS
# Yesterday came suddenly
# Why she had to go
# I don't know... #
SWITCHES RADIO OFF
HE LAUGHS,
PENGUINS CHIRP
HE LAUGHS
THEY CHUCKLE
It's me.
Dick.
Reagan finally got through
to Galtieri,
only to be
told to piss off basically.
Shall I round up the Argentine
workers, Rex?
But be bloody careful, Dick.
And when you've done that
you can call it a day.
Go back to Connie.
Come on, keep up, faster.
You keep your hands up.
Up, come on, up!
Now, come on, keep together.
Point your gun at them,
show them you mean business.
That's it, come on.
Right, this is the last stop.
I don't know which frightens me
more, the Argentine Armada
or waking Des King
in the middle of the night.
Stay there.
Right, we'll have to smash
the window.
I know, I know.
He only had it put in last week.
Ah, Government House
said you'd be coming.
Gilobert's vanished, I'm afraid.
Oh, shit!
What on earth are you
trying to find now?
Transmitters.
In the lapels?
I know about these things.
Look, try and find the guest list,
some Latin-sounding names.
All right, keep them covered.
POP RECORD SLOWS THEN STOPS
Now over to GH for an urgent
announcement from His Excellency.
No!
REX ON RADIO: 'The idea of a mission
by Vice President Bush,
'was rejected.'
ALL TALK AT ONCE
'I have no alternative but
to declare a state of emergency.'
Will you be quiet?!
'With immediate effect.'
Toothbrush! For Christ's sake,
Des, hurry up.
'Under the emergency powers
of ordnance of 1939.'
Let me get my daughter
down to translate. Yes.
'Let me just say...'
Get Alison, go on.
'..that the morale
of the Royal Marines
'and the Falkland Islands
Defence Force, is terrific.
'And it makes me proud
to be their Commander-in-Chief.'
He was great, Mum.
It's just like
the Battle of Britain.
Dunkirk, I think.
RADIO HOST: 'Thank you,
your Excellency.
'We'll bring listeners anything
dramatic as soon it happens.
But now... some Mantovani.
Well, if they're coming,
they're late.
It's typical bloody Latins.
HUBBUB
Mr Baker.
It might be pretty invaluable
to have a Spanish speaker
with us tonight
in case there were
a cease-fire or peace talks.
Look, leave her be, Dick,
leave her be.
I haven't said anything
about the unpaid bills. All right?
All right, all right.
Look, I'm gonna go home
and put my head down for a while.
Call me if you need me.
Good boys.
Take your positions
in the West Wing.
I'll detail someone to take these
plonkers back to their hotel.
Major, if you chaps
are being written off,
shouldn't some plonker
tell the story?
All right,
you can have that cottage.
But if the bullets do start flying,
you'll be right in the crossfire.
EXPLOSION
I think it's the barracks, Mum.
Mum?
Doesn't look like they plan
on taking any prisoners.
Not likely to, Sir.
The barracks were empty.
REX CHUCKLES
If we're contemplating making
a painless move to the hills,
now's the time, Sir.
But we don't even know
what's going on.
Nobody spotted the enemy.
Which probably means
they landed south.
Behind us.
RADIO BUZZES
Unless we make a move now,
we won't be escaping anywhere.
We can get out under cover
of your FIDF men on the ridge.
I decided to continue
with our original plan
of protecting key installations.
There are barely enough
FIDF men for that.
RADIO CRACKLES
Gary, we'd better get One and Five
sections up there on the ridge.
Mike. Half your men don't have any
rations or sleeping bags.
How long could
they last outside Stanley?
Sort of thing they enjoy enormously
on survival exercises, Sir.
And how often could I broadcast
on radio
before they home in
on transmissions?
Think positive, Sir.
Keep your speeches brief.
And keep on the move.
What do we preserve by doing that,
Major Norman?
The seat of government.
You, Sir.
The seat of government
will stay in this house.
Others may have deserted these
people, but not me.
Five, nothing heard.
Radio check, over.
RADIO CRACKLES
Zero, OK.
Move to my location now, over.
We are asking people
to phone in whatever they see.
I'll put on some more music,
and we'll see what comes up
after that.
SOOTHING ORGAN PLAYS
PENGUINS CHIRP
I don't believe it.
Cable and Wireless
have lost the link with the UK.
Telex phones, the lot.
Sabotage?
No, they are blaming it
on tonight's ionosphere.
One and Five sections are on their
way, Sir.
But it'll be ten minutes plus
before they get into position.
DICK GROANS
HE WHISPERS: Don?
Give me the gun and go.
HE wants me to get a few
of the fuzzy-wuzzies, Sir.
Look, If they come
swarming across that lawn,
a few pellets aren't gonna save
the flag now.
It's time you went next door
to your cottage.
You'll be safe there.
No!
Please?
GEESE HONK
HE WHISPERS: Hey.
SHEEP BLEATS
What the bloody hell
are we firing at?
Get over the wall!
Keep it coming!
Get over the top of that
bloody wall!
Come on, move it.
Come on!
Bloody stun grenade.
It's a stun grenade, go back!
Come on.
Get over that bloody wall!
CRACKLING
Get down, Sir!
Now please stay down.
All stations, this is Zero.
My location...
I'll say it again,
my location under attack. Out.
RADIO CRACKLES
Sergeant Major,
are you still in one piece?
Yes, Sir.
Right.
Make sure all your boys are OK.
And get them
in firing position behind that wall.
Oggie, are you there?
Sergeant Major.
Tibbs?
Yes, Sergeant Major?
Patterson?
Right, Sergeant Major.
You're not married,
are you, Farnworth? Nope.
Makes it that bit easier,
if you see what I mean, Sir.
Made by F Kinman, 1807, sir.
Mr Hunt!
Time to give up, Mr Hunt!
Your phone is cut off.
Armoured amphibious vehicles
will be closing in soon.
Mr Hunt?
We have very superior numbers.
I am sure you are a reasonable man.
Come out with your hands
on your head.
Alone.
Fuck off, you 'Spic bastards!
I'm going back inside.
See what's going on.
HE ROARS
Come on.
Jesus!
Hello, Patrick.
This is the Governor.
Can you hear me?
Top man, Sir.
Sergeant?
GLASS SHATTERS
Sergeant Short,
can you reach the telephone?
The other way round sir.
Yes, Governor?
We'll put you on right away.
We're gonna go over to
His Excellency now.
We're putting you on-air
right away, Sir.
Ah, yeah.
'Well, we've beaten off their first
attack on Government House.
'We're doing very well.'
GUNSHOTS RICOCHET
'Yeah, I can hear
you're having a harassing time.
'I'll put on some music and come
back to you in a little while.'
MUSIC: '(They Long To Be)
Close To You' by The Carpenters
They are trying to kill my husband.
SHE SOBS
Er, right. Erm...
Come here.
I spy with, my little eye,
something beginning with A.
Asphalt.
Argentinians.
Bastards!
HE WAILS
HE EXCLAIMS
Dos, tres.
Shit.
Ready?
Go!
HE WHIMPERS
Argh!
Yes, lad, what's going on?
Two injured, Sir.
The pin's out of the grenade, Sir.
But he's keeping his hand
round the lever.
HE GROANS
Throw your grenade
away from the house.
And we'll send out a medic.
What? Nobody here speaks Spanish?
Fucking marvellous!
MAN SCREAMS
Nine, Roger, out.
Sir, Sir.
One Section engaging
with about eight to ten APCs.
Buggery, I've got
better things to do.
The guy's half off his head.
If he shows any movement like he's
gonna throw the grenade this way,
shoot him.
Are you all right?
Are you OK?
Let's have a look.
Come on, you fucks, come on!
HE GRUNTS
HE SCREAMS
Argh!
HE SCREAMS
HE SCREAMS
Permission to leave my spot.
RADIO: 'Run like shit off a shovel,
Three. Good luck.'
Go! Go on!
Go! Go!
Geordie, move!
SCREAMING
Geordie!
Its jammed, mate,
it's fuckin' jammed!
Geordie, leave the gun
and bloody run!
Ah, you...
Come on!
RADIO: 'Five APCs landing
at Yorke Bay.'
I damn well hope this suit
gets through all right.
It's M&S, you know?
HE CHUCKLES
'Five APCs at Yorke Bay.
Three is engaging.'
Five enemy APCs minimum,
heading in from Yorke Bay.
Right up our back passage.
RADIO OPERATOR:
Zero, confirm number, over.
HE SIGHS
Roger, out.
BULLET THUDS,
HE GRUNTS
HE CONTINUES PRAYER
HE GROANS
PAINED SIGH
HE BREATHES QUICKLY
HE WHIMPERS
SCREAMING OUTSIDE
BOOMING
SCREAMING OUTSIDE
Move!
It's coming.
It's coming!
You boys want a cup of tea?
Get down, you silly bitch!
Can't you see
there's an invasion on?
Hold it, lads.
Come on, steady.
Shit!
Jesus!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
OK, well, go ahead.
Latinos always hit
the radio station first.
We're gonna fucking die, man!
Yeah, OK, OK, go ahead.
Go ahead now, Rhoda.
'I can see Marines running.
And these big vehicles.
'Argentine ones, I think.'
Yeah.
'Going after them, I think.
'It's all very colourful, really.'
Yeah, OK.
Thank you, Rhoda.
Er...
Next caller, please.
'Hello, Patrick.
'Hector.'
Hello, Hector.
I'm calling to say how much
I'm opposed to violence.
And how sorry I am
that this terrible, terrible thing
is happening under our eyes.
GUNSHOTS,
BOOMING
It must be the dumb Army
or the Navy,
nothing to do with the Air Force.
SPORADIC GUNSHOTS
You are all my friends.
I love each of you.
Oh, yeah, yeah!
GUNSHOT RICOCHETS
I'll go and telephone
from Mortar House.
See if I can find out
what's happening.
POP MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO
EXPLOSION
MAN WAILS OUTSIDE,
THEN GROANS WEAKLY
ALARM BLARES
MAN ON RADIO: 'Basically,
we've all been through a lot here.'
It was engaged.
'There's still a lot of calls
coming in.'
We're making a run
to Government House.
Are you lads gonna join us?
We'll cover you.
BOTH: The bloomin' House.
HE SNORES
RADIO: 'Let's try and
cheer ourselves up a bit
'with a little bit of music that
I hope you'll find appropriate.'
SNORING CONTINUES
# Only fools rush in
# And I can't help falling in...#
EXPLOSION
Run!
Come on, Armour!
Come on!
Argh!
Enemy to the left!
Enemy to the left!
Go for cover.
Take cover.
Go! Go! Go! Go!
Come on.
You're shooting at your own guys!
You bastard!
Now what have you got us into?
You cover the Argies,
I'm going forward.
Royal Marines!
Don't fire!
Over here!
Don't fire!
Don't fire!
Get down.
Down!
Get down!
Good lads!
Come for a violent breakfast?
Oi, you!
Knob end!
Get off the street!
Aye, it's all right for youse.
Some of us have to get to work.
I don't why we're bothering
with this lot.
Sorry that took so long, Sir.
Where is he?
The situation is,
there'll be between 12 and 18
Argentine APCs here soon.
Maybe, oh, half an hour.
Enough to blow the shit out of us.
What do you advise now?
It boils down to three options.
One, we can stay here.
We're doing pretty well.
No casualties,
though Christ knows how.
Morale's good.
The boys'll go on fighting
as long as they're told.
Two, we can break out now with you.
And let Gary's men fight
a mini guerrilla war.
Three, negotiate
while we're still dropping them.
And before half an hour,
when they start dropping us.
GUNSHOTS THUD
Dorey!
Whatever he's doing,
let that Argie live.
You favour the break-out?
Sir.
I suppose you want me
to make the bloody decision.
One of the perks of the job, Sir.
Let's try and contact Gilobert.
See if he can reach their commander
and mentioned a truce.
We'll play for time.
POP MUSIC PLAYS
One, two, three, four.
There you go.
GIRLS CHUCKLE
You let me win on purpose,
didn't you, Tony?
I never.
Well, yes, I did.
When your daddy plays,
he never lets me win.
REX ON RADIO: 'There must be
200 of them out there.
'Just a matter of time
before they overrun us.
'But we'll know. We'll see
how long we can hang on.'
But if anyone wants to come
and speak to us, we'll listen.
RADIO HOST: 'Are you
thinking of surrender, Sir?'
I'm not surrendering
to any bloody Argie.
'Fantastic. Well done, Sir.
Thank you.
'You heard those brave words.'
BOTH GROAN SOFTLY
Oi!
Will you shut up, for Christ's sake!
Rex, we've withdrawn
to the Drill Hall.
And now there are lots
of Argentinians outside.
Well, shoot them.
There are lots and lots
of Argentinians outside.
Shoot some of them, then.
We were perfectly willing to fight,
but you ordered us back here.
'And now we're surrounded.'
You say I ordered you back there?
My men are very young, Sir.
And they are very frightened.
'What do you propose we do?'
Well...
tell them to put their weapons
at one end of the room
and sit at the other.
So when the Argentines come in,
they can see that
they are not armed
and they are not aggressive.
We've done that already, Sir.
Very well.
Thank them for me.
And tell them to go home
and get out of uniform.
'And do the same yourself.'
ARGENTINIAN TROOPS EXCLAIM
Oh, Christ, look at them!
GUNSHOTS RICOCHET
Aw, shite!
Jesus!
Go on, son.
I thought you were
the Lieutenant Colonel.
The awesome warrior of Borneo.
I never said all the medals
were real, did I?
You're both Scotsmen, you get him.
HE ROARS
ROARING CONTINUES
What the bloody hell are you doing?
It was the pension, see.
I didn't want to lose my pension
from the department.
Oh, oh.
Come on.
Come on.
So, what are you gonna do, Tom?
Are you gonna stay on?
Are you gonna go back home?
I dunno. Maybe I'll try Lancashire.
You seem to miss it so much.
Oh, no, I've never even been there.
Only get the
Lancashire Evening Post
cos I support a local
football team. So...
MUSIC: 'Sweet Home Alabama'
by Lynyrd Skynyrd
Cease fire! Cease fire1
Come on, Hector, come on!
Come on!
Oh, fuck.
Hold your fire.
Get inside!
CHEERING
Are you all right, Hec?
What's the Spanish
for "big balls", Hector?
LAUGHTER
Come on, this way.
MAN BREATHES SHALLOWLY
Can't we do something, Sir?
The man's stomach's hanging out.
Why don't we just shoot
the poor bastard
and put him out of his misery?
If this cease-fire holds,
see what you can do for him.
Wilcox, you come with me
to the West Wing.
The Droggies
need some extra firepower.
RADIO: 'It looks like the Argentine
armoured column
'is about to enter Stanley.
Please keep inside, everyone.
'I expect they're heading
for Government House.'
No, Tony!
HE SIGHS
RELIEVED SIGH
GUNSHOTS RICOCHET,
SCREAMING
Please don't let them kill us.
Please don't kill us!
All right, darling, I'm sure
he heard you the first time.
Oh, come off it, Hector.
You must know who the commander
of this taskforce is.
I bet he's the one who sent you.
I swear, Your Excellency, I don't.
But whatever else I can do to help.
What we've got to do, Hector,
is broadcast an appeal
to the commander of this force.
Whoever he may be.
For he and you
to rendezvous out there
and come here for a talk.
We're coming to get you in.
Just yell to your mates
to cease fire, OK?
I've no breath.
No strength.
It's all right. I'm a medic,
it's OK, don't panic.
Don't panic. Look, it's all right.
OK, just keep calm.
Just keep calm.
It's all right.
They're on the move, boss.
That's not the rules of the game.
Shoot them, Farnworth.
Sir.
Come on!
No!
Argh!
Hector, if you stay here
and do nothing,
you're likely to end up dying
with us gringos.
Mm?
Now, Dick, don't lose this brolly.
I paid the earth for it
in Brigg's of Piccadilly.
Shall we go?
RADIO: 'Well, ladies and gentlemen,
'it looks like they are coming
into Stanley in a really big way.'
I appreciate this, Hector.
Hey, Sir?
Does this mean we cannot shoot the
bastards anymore?
Not at all. If they shoot at you,
then shoot back.
And even if they move, you shoot!
Thank you, Sir.
You see, there's a bastard
up behind those rocks there,
just tried to kill us.
And he's gotta move sometime.
REX CHUCKLES
You, cover those rocks.
You must have a few slates
missing off your roof.
Nearly shot to pieces
helping those sods,
and you want to carry on
fighting 'em?
You really fancy spilling your guts
here, I reckon.
For this?
Toytown?
Well, it's not for your family,
is it?
Cos you're dumping them.
I mean, they're coming.
Shut your mouth.
THEY SCREAM
Once again, I repeat our message
to the commander
of the Argentine forces.
Please rendezvous
outside the Catholic Church.
Please confirm, Argentine forces.
GUNSHOTS
HE GRUNTS
GEORDIE: That's it, Sir.
Right above you.
SCREAMING
Behind you!
ARGENTINE SOLDIERS ALL SPEAK AT ONCE
CHANTING: Argentina! Argentina!
Argentina! Argentina! Argentina!
Argentina! Argentina!
Why are you smiling?
My wife and the girls,
we're all going to live.
That's why I'm smiling, Hector!
It's not over yet, Dick.
Argentina!
Argentina! Argentina!
Hold your fire!
Hold your fire!
Cease-fire.
Cease-fire!
Cease-fire!
Cease-fire!
CALLER ON RADIO: 'They've all had
their breakfast, a good breakfast.
'And are safe and sound.'
RADIO HOST: 'Any tears shed?'
'No, no, no.
'Well, the odd one.
'We all held hands and sang a song.
We're fine.'
Not you, you shits!
I am Almirante Carlos Busser.
Commander of the Argentine
landing operation.
Colonel Sergeant Muir, Sir,
Royal Marines.
By the Geneva Convention
you are allowed only one side arm.
And while we await
the outcome of the conference,
let's have some more music.
POP MUSIC PLAYS
Just wait there! Now wait there!
Wait there!
You put the gun away.
I'm not doing anything with a gun
to my back.
As you can hear, the Argentines
have taken over the radio station.
Get your gun out of my back.
We've been taken over
by the Argentines.
Senor, un momento.
They have taken over.
They have phoned me
to say they are not happy
with the way I presented.
Well, I'm sorry!
Un momento.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry if they are not happy
with the way I presented.
Uno, dos.
I have tried to be fair.
But I have tried to be unbiased.
Our boys will not get shot...
HE WHIMPERS
Sir!
That is ungentlemanly of you,
Governor Hunt.
It was a most ungentlemanly act
of you to invade our islands.
This is British territory,
and I want you and your men
off it at once.
I command the Argentine task force
that has reclaimed
what is rightfully ours.
Our governments agreed,
in the United Nations,
to settle
their differences peacefully.
I am a marine with the same job
as your Royal Marines had in 1833.
That is to take possession
of these islands.
All that is left is to prevent
your men killing a few of mine.
Whereas your job, Governor,
is to prevent my men
killing all your men.
They have shown great courage
and professionalism.
Now it is time you ask them
to surrender.
I asked for a truce.
Not a surrender.
Your injured men
need medical attention.
Thank you for your concern.
But this is the last place left
under your flag.
So we are not interested
in any truce.
I don't want to kill your men.
But if you continue, then that is
what you are asking me to do.
You will be held responsible.
No!
The people who started the shooting
are the ones who are responsible.
We are simply defending ourselves.
You leave me no choice
but to tell my men to...
To lay down their arms.
Thank you, Governor.
I must insist
that you are ready to fly out
within two hours.
Oh, no, no, I couldn't possibly.
Since I wasn't expecting guests,
I haven't had time to pack.
I am sure we could arrange
an extension.
Plus, I want all my Marines
and Navy personnel
flown out with me.
And a farewell broadcast.
Now, perhaps, if you will
do me the honour.
ARGENTINE SOLDIER: Vamos! Vamos!
MAVIS GASPS
Oh, my God!
Oh!
Can we go home now, please?
RELIEVED SIGH
CHEERING
LAUGHTER
Get back!
Llevarlo al hospital!
ARGENTINE SOLDIER EXCLAIMS
IN SPANISH
Get out of the fucking way.
It's time to surrender, Jim.
Fuck off, Sir.
All right, lads, single file
into the corridor.
For inspection, Port Arms.
Come on. We're dropping
when we could have carried on.
Empty your pouches.
ARGENTINE NATIONAL ANTHEM
PLAYS ON RADIO
'We shall listen
to our national anthem.'
RADIO PRESENTER SPEAKS SPANISH
'Greetings, population
of the Malvinas Islands.
Come on, get all them
magazines emptied.
All your pouches.
All right?
ARGENTINE ANTHEM CONTINUES
Don't piss about, son.
We let them down, Sir.
These people.
We did our best.
It wasn't enough.
Thank you.
Dick.
Cheers!
Cheers, mate!
Cheers, mate.
Come on.
HE SPEAKS SPANISH
CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICK
Don't make me laugh.
Just piss off on the next plane.
I'm Major Dowling.
Military intelligence.
Dowling?
Anglo-Argentine?
Irish-Argentine.
Ah...
Oh, darling!
Are you all right?
I'm fine, I'm fine, my dear.
All right, my boy?
Ssh, ssh, ssh.
CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICK
Look this way, please.
Don't you dare! You...
ARGENTINE SOLDIERS SPEAK SPANISH
What's the meaning?
Only one fatality
in this whole operation.
And it was my best officer
you killed.
I didn't invite him here.
I hope he rots in hell!
HE SPEAKS SPANISH
Major Norman.
Have your men stand up.
My apologies.
Sergeant Major, on their feet.
Quietly does it.
All right, lads, very quietly.
Get yourselves up.
Keep it calm.
Well done. Well done, lads.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Well done, lads. See you.
Geordie! Geordie!
HE MUTTERS IN SPANISH
QUIETLY: Bastard.
Attention!
BUGLER PLAYS
You'd think the bastards
had won the World Cup, Sir.
Attention!
HE LAUGHS
CHEERING
WHISTLING AND CHEERING
Get away from that Dick Francis,
you wretch!
Oh, don't be silly,
you can't travel in that.
You can take it off at the airport.
It'll hearten the islanders
to see me leave in style.
Anyway, Mum, why all
the poncy silver for me to lug?
You won't be needing it
in Sunningdale.
Would you prefer Mrs Hunt
of Sunningdale to have it, or them?
My God!
My medals!
Where's Don?
Don, they've swiped
my bloody medals!
'Those bastards! Look!
They've swiped a lot!'
The bastards, look at that!
Haven't you heard of knocking
on doors where you come from?
HE SCOFFS
You're not going in that.
Ah, Wilkinson.
HE WHISPERS: Watch it.
Ola.
Where did you find it?
In a circus?
Hogg and Johnstone
of Sackville Street, West 1.
They've tailored governor's uniforms
since the first days of the Empire.
Thank God they'll soon
be out of a job.
You'll never persuade
these people to live under you.
When you have someone by the balls,
their hearts and minds soon follow.
Dad, the Land Rover's ready.
The plane is leaving in one hour.
No more delays.
You, that bag.
HE MUTTERS IN SPANISH
Your Excellency,
not a long friendship
should be soiled
by what my countrymen have done.
This is the worst day of my life.
It is just as well you packed
your dress uniform, eh, Hector?
HORN HONKS
Wait, darling.
The flag, I want it as a souvenir.
Don't bother about it, Don.
I wouldn't want it now,
not after where it's been.
How could you?
How could you?
DOWLING CLEARS THROAT
I will be with your son.
I will see you at the airport.
My lovely boys.
WOLF-WHISTLING AND CHEERING
Bastards.
Adios!
# Should auld acquaintance be forgot
# And never brought to mind?
# Should auld acquaintance be forgot
# And days of auld lang syne?
# For auld lang syne, my dear
# For auld lang syne
# We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet
# For the days
Of auld lang syne... #
REX: 'Friends, Kelpers,
'the Argentine governor
has kindly given his permission
'for me to send you this message,
good wishes and thanks
'for all your support.
'I shall never forget you.
'And hope to see you all some day.'
# For auld lang syne. #
'Goodbye, and God bless you all.'
MARGARET THATCHER:
'The government has now decided
'that a large task force will sail
'as soon all preparations
are complete.'
'Failure?
The possibilities do not exist.'
NEWSREADER:
'Now, tens of thousands of men
'are entering the decisive phase
of this conflict,
'as Marines and Paras
close in on Port Stanley.'
NEWSREADER 2: 'But short
of ammunition or not,
'the British shells
kept falling remorselessly
'until the Argentine line broke.'
NEWSREADER 3:
'According to latest reports,
'Governor Rex Hunt
is on his way back to the islands,
'and is widely tipped
for a knighthood.
'Members of the Second Battalion
of the Parachute Regiment
'were the first to reach
Government House.
'Just beating their traditional
rivals, the Royal Marines.
CHEERING
Brought it back for you.
Don't lose it again!
JOURNALIST: 'From The Mail.
Yeah, a few pictures with the flag,
'with you, Sergeant, and your men.'
JOURNALIST 2: 'Go on, sir,
some pictures for the lads.'
SHUTTERS CLICK
CHEERING
NEWSREADER:
'At Downing Street tonight,
'Mrs Thatcher was given
a rapturous welcome
'by the crowds that had gathered.'
NEWSREADER 2: 'Galtieri's
dictatorship has collapsed,
'but no future government
is likely to renounce
'Argentina's claim to the islands.'
CHEERING
NEWSREADER: 'A sizeable
garrison is to be established,
'and an air base is to be built
'with fighter jets
and anti-aircraft defence.'
SOMBRE MUSIC PLAYS