An Evening with My Comatose Mother (2011) - full transcript
Dorothy Pritchard thought she had it easy; house sit for the wealthy Poe's on All Hallows Eve while collecting a cool paycheck. That was, until, she was introduced to the Poe's rotting, comatose mother living upstairs. As the dark of the night comes, and as the approaching storm blacks out the neighborhood, Dorothy soon finds herself on a nightmare ride through hell that she can only beg to be woken up from.
Hello, Mrs. Poe.
I'm not too late, I hope.
No, no, no, not at all.
Come on in.
In fact, Russell always
needs a little extra time
to get ready so it's really no big deal.
Can I take that for you?
You have a beautiful home, Mrs. Poe.
Stop with the Mrs. Poe business.
It's Alice, and thank you.
It took Russell and I about
18 months to get it built.
You know how it is in this state!
Russ, come meet Dorothy!
You're the girl that my
wife keeps telling me about.
We're really grateful you could
come on such short notice.
And all the way from the big city.
Especially during Halloween.
I used to do the
naughtiest things on Halloween.
- Russell!
Are you eating cereal before we go out?
- Yeah!
- You know how that pisses me off!
As you might be aware, Dorothy,
we've been invited to a Halloween ball
up at the Governor's Mansion
where there'll be lots of
food.
And we're going to be there
to all hours of the early
evening. So I see no need
in spoiling one's appetite.
- It's just cereal.
How about we show Dorothy how
to take care of your mother?
- Yeah, I forgot to
tell you about my mother.
Anyways, after the kids
moved out of the house
we decided to take my mother in.
She's comatose and bedridden.
She's upstairs.
Follow me.
And you, go put on your costume.
- Night, Dorothy.
It was a pleasure meeting you.
- This is where my mother stays now.
She's 92 years old.
I was the youngest.
I just couldn't leave her in a home.
Mom always loved dolls, especially clowns.
I never really understood that...
And THIS guy.
No matter where Mom was,
he was always with her.
Daddy really hated him.
Said it was "too old-fashioned."
Anyway.
You won't have to worry
too much about Mother.
- Want me to do anything with her?
Check on her, stuff like that?
Yeah, if you could check on
her every couple of hours
that would be great.
And if you could check
on her "you know what."
And if you will change her if necessary.
We can't be having mother
laying in her own mess now.
Isn't that right, Mother?
Okay, Dorothy, let's go!
- Shit better be worth 40 bucks an hour.
- Stop it, I'm coming!
- Thanks again, Dorothy.
We don't get to go out
too much these days.
- Is there anything else I'm forgetting?
- No.
- Um, okay, well...
Have fun tonight.
- Come on, let's go!
- You have fun tonight!
Finally.
So, yeah, basically I'm
just here all night,
by myself, scary movie in hand,
just waiting for Johnny to pop on by.
- Johnny is so sexy!
I'm so jealous!
Right, so have you guys done it yet?
- Wouldn't you like to know?
A girl never reveals her secrets.
- Whatever, I know
all your secrets, girl.
Remember that one time that
you and that cute boy from
church, Jack Burton, got caught necking
in the back of his parents' Cadillac?
Jack was such a hot piece of ass.
- Dude, why do you think
I made out with him?
- Figures.
So, you and Johnny.
- Okay, fine.
For the record, we were at
this hot tub the other night.
He was wearing this speedo.
- It's huge!
- Shut up!
You're such a hotty, Dorothy.
You always get the sexiest guys.
- All it takes is a little
personality, a dash of boobs,
and a willingness to add
somebody to your Facebook.
Every time, I'm telling ya.
- Well, how about you
give me a little credit, girl?
I mean, I did introduce
you to Cosmo after all.
- True that.
- Well, you just let
me know how it goes tonight.
I bet you two do it.
- Please, what if we got caught?
- That's the fun of it.
Come on, live a little.
- Hey, I gotta take this.
It's Johnny.
- Okay, do it, girl.
Do it!
- Hey, sexy.
- Hey, cutie.
What's goin' on?
- So, when are you coming on over?
- Actually
that's why I'm calling.
I'm really sorry.
I don't think I'm gonna
be able to make it.
A few things have come up.
You know, it's Halloween.
Yeahhhh.
- Damn it, Johnny!
If you couldn't have made it earlier,
you should have just said so!
- Hey, Johnny!
- Shh!
- Who are you with?
- Look.
Truth is, I really don't
think this is working.
I mean, seriously?
Don't you think that
there's something missing?
I'm just trying to
explain what's going on.
It's probably more your
fault than my fault,
but, just a second.
- Johnny, get off the--
- All right, are you there?
Shoot, are you there, hello?
- Wait, are you breaking up with me?
- Sure, yeah,
is that what's happening?
I guess so.
- But I had such a great
evening planned for us!
- Did you?
Did you make some, some
casserole or something?
I mean, I don't know what
you did, but just enjoy it.
I gotta go, Happy Halloween!
- Dick-nosed son of a bitch!
Johnny can suck it for all I care.
And then this?
You have got to be kidding me.
Screw it.
If I have to suffer, so do you.
I'll deal with this latter.
- Zombie Pirates! Must Die!
- Okay, okay, you cute little brats!
Want some treats?
Looks like a storm is coming, kids.
Best get your butts home now.
Shit!
Don't be sad, little boy.
Your costume is so cool!
That must have taken your
mom hours to make that thing.
Here...
You get double candy.
K, kid, have fun and hurry home safe
before the boogey man gets ya.
Country bumpkins
never know when they've...
crossed the...
What the eff?!
- God bless us.
God bless us.
Bless us.
God bless us, God bless us,
God bless us, God bless us.
God bless us, God bless us, God bless us.
God bless us.
God bless us...
Every one.
Bless us.
God bless us.
Every one.
God bless us.
- Look!
If you want some more candy,
you can take the whole bag!
I'll say it was taken
by all the other kids or something!
- God bless us.
- No.
No.
No.
One...
Two...
Three...
Four...
Five!
- Tonight...
YOU!
- Just go away.
Please, just go away!
Why are you doing this?
Holy shit!
You must be dreaming.
I had to be dreaming, right?
It looks like this
storm's getting stronger.
Better go check on Mother.
I closed the door shut last time, right?
What the fuh?
- I needs to play...
Dorothy...
Don't be afraid...
Dorothy...
What are you waiting for?
Dorothy!
Yes...
- Knife!
Let's go, you evil clown!
Come get some!
I needs to play...
Dorothy...
Don't be afraid...
- Dorothy...
What are you waiting for?
- Come on out, you evil clown!
I'm not afraid of you!
Let's do this!
I'm gonna get some!
Hold still.. Dorothy...
I hate clowns.
I hate YOU.
Die, bitch, die!
Yeah, that's right, clown.
You can go and suck... my... dick!
I know it's you.
I know it's you!
Sleep tight, you old bitch.
- Kiss your
mother with that mouth,
Dorothy Pritchard?
Why don't you come here and kiss Mother
with that dirty mouth of yours, mmmmm?
Dorothy...
It looks like somebody
forgot to turn off the light
before bedtime.
- This isn't real.
This can't be real.
Yes...
- No.
No.
- Shut up!
Just shut up, you old hag!
This isn't real.
You're just a fake, I hate you!
- Where are you?
- I'll see you in hell, bitch!
- How do you like them apples?
How do you like them -
- No, no, no!
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- I just don't understand why you insist
that we come back so early.
There's nothing wrong with your mother.
- Russ, I just feel more comfortable not
leaving Mother out so long.
Hello, Dorothy.
We didn't wake you, did we?
- We did.
Is Alice's mother all right?
Any... problems?
- Yes.
I mean...
Everything was great.
I was just watching a movie
and reading a book and...
I must have just fallen asleep.
What time is it?
Um, it's 1:15.
Here, I'm gonna go check on Mother,
so why don't you give Dorothy her payment?
- Even when she's almost dead,
she still has a leash on that woman.
So, 200...
Right?
- What a night!
I'm not too late, I hope.
No, no, no, not at all.
Come on in.
In fact, Russell always
needs a little extra time
to get ready so it's really no big deal.
Can I take that for you?
You have a beautiful home, Mrs. Poe.
Stop with the Mrs. Poe business.
It's Alice, and thank you.
It took Russell and I about
18 months to get it built.
You know how it is in this state!
Russ, come meet Dorothy!
You're the girl that my
wife keeps telling me about.
We're really grateful you could
come on such short notice.
And all the way from the big city.
Especially during Halloween.
I used to do the
naughtiest things on Halloween.
- Russell!
Are you eating cereal before we go out?
- Yeah!
- You know how that pisses me off!
As you might be aware, Dorothy,
we've been invited to a Halloween ball
up at the Governor's Mansion
where there'll be lots of
food.
And we're going to be there
to all hours of the early
evening. So I see no need
in spoiling one's appetite.
- It's just cereal.
How about we show Dorothy how
to take care of your mother?
- Yeah, I forgot to
tell you about my mother.
Anyways, after the kids
moved out of the house
we decided to take my mother in.
She's comatose and bedridden.
She's upstairs.
Follow me.
And you, go put on your costume.
- Night, Dorothy.
It was a pleasure meeting you.
- This is where my mother stays now.
She's 92 years old.
I was the youngest.
I just couldn't leave her in a home.
Mom always loved dolls, especially clowns.
I never really understood that...
And THIS guy.
No matter where Mom was,
he was always with her.
Daddy really hated him.
Said it was "too old-fashioned."
Anyway.
You won't have to worry
too much about Mother.
- Want me to do anything with her?
Check on her, stuff like that?
Yeah, if you could check on
her every couple of hours
that would be great.
And if you could check
on her "you know what."
And if you will change her if necessary.
We can't be having mother
laying in her own mess now.
Isn't that right, Mother?
Okay, Dorothy, let's go!
- Shit better be worth 40 bucks an hour.
- Stop it, I'm coming!
- Thanks again, Dorothy.
We don't get to go out
too much these days.
- Is there anything else I'm forgetting?
- No.
- Um, okay, well...
Have fun tonight.
- Come on, let's go!
- You have fun tonight!
Finally.
So, yeah, basically I'm
just here all night,
by myself, scary movie in hand,
just waiting for Johnny to pop on by.
- Johnny is so sexy!
I'm so jealous!
Right, so have you guys done it yet?
- Wouldn't you like to know?
A girl never reveals her secrets.
- Whatever, I know
all your secrets, girl.
Remember that one time that
you and that cute boy from
church, Jack Burton, got caught necking
in the back of his parents' Cadillac?
Jack was such a hot piece of ass.
- Dude, why do you think
I made out with him?
- Figures.
So, you and Johnny.
- Okay, fine.
For the record, we were at
this hot tub the other night.
He was wearing this speedo.
- It's huge!
- Shut up!
You're such a hotty, Dorothy.
You always get the sexiest guys.
- All it takes is a little
personality, a dash of boobs,
and a willingness to add
somebody to your Facebook.
Every time, I'm telling ya.
- Well, how about you
give me a little credit, girl?
I mean, I did introduce
you to Cosmo after all.
- True that.
- Well, you just let
me know how it goes tonight.
I bet you two do it.
- Please, what if we got caught?
- That's the fun of it.
Come on, live a little.
- Hey, I gotta take this.
It's Johnny.
- Okay, do it, girl.
Do it!
- Hey, sexy.
- Hey, cutie.
What's goin' on?
- So, when are you coming on over?
- Actually
that's why I'm calling.
I'm really sorry.
I don't think I'm gonna
be able to make it.
A few things have come up.
You know, it's Halloween.
Yeahhhh.
- Damn it, Johnny!
If you couldn't have made it earlier,
you should have just said so!
- Hey, Johnny!
- Shh!
- Who are you with?
- Look.
Truth is, I really don't
think this is working.
I mean, seriously?
Don't you think that
there's something missing?
I'm just trying to
explain what's going on.
It's probably more your
fault than my fault,
but, just a second.
- Johnny, get off the--
- All right, are you there?
Shoot, are you there, hello?
- Wait, are you breaking up with me?
- Sure, yeah,
is that what's happening?
I guess so.
- But I had such a great
evening planned for us!
- Did you?
Did you make some, some
casserole or something?
I mean, I don't know what
you did, but just enjoy it.
I gotta go, Happy Halloween!
- Dick-nosed son of a bitch!
Johnny can suck it for all I care.
And then this?
You have got to be kidding me.
Screw it.
If I have to suffer, so do you.
I'll deal with this latter.
- Zombie Pirates! Must Die!
- Okay, okay, you cute little brats!
Want some treats?
Looks like a storm is coming, kids.
Best get your butts home now.
Shit!
Don't be sad, little boy.
Your costume is so cool!
That must have taken your
mom hours to make that thing.
Here...
You get double candy.
K, kid, have fun and hurry home safe
before the boogey man gets ya.
Country bumpkins
never know when they've...
crossed the...
What the eff?!
- God bless us.
God bless us.
Bless us.
God bless us, God bless us,
God bless us, God bless us.
God bless us, God bless us, God bless us.
God bless us.
God bless us...
Every one.
Bless us.
God bless us.
Every one.
God bless us.
- Look!
If you want some more candy,
you can take the whole bag!
I'll say it was taken
by all the other kids or something!
- God bless us.
- No.
No.
No.
One...
Two...
Three...
Four...
Five!
- Tonight...
YOU!
- Just go away.
Please, just go away!
Why are you doing this?
Holy shit!
You must be dreaming.
I had to be dreaming, right?
It looks like this
storm's getting stronger.
Better go check on Mother.
I closed the door shut last time, right?
What the fuh?
- I needs to play...
Dorothy...
Don't be afraid...
Dorothy...
What are you waiting for?
Dorothy!
Yes...
- Knife!
Let's go, you evil clown!
Come get some!
I needs to play...
Dorothy...
Don't be afraid...
- Dorothy...
What are you waiting for?
- Come on out, you evil clown!
I'm not afraid of you!
Let's do this!
I'm gonna get some!
Hold still.. Dorothy...
I hate clowns.
I hate YOU.
Die, bitch, die!
Yeah, that's right, clown.
You can go and suck... my... dick!
I know it's you.
I know it's you!
Sleep tight, you old bitch.
- Kiss your
mother with that mouth,
Dorothy Pritchard?
Why don't you come here and kiss Mother
with that dirty mouth of yours, mmmmm?
Dorothy...
It looks like somebody
forgot to turn off the light
before bedtime.
- This isn't real.
This can't be real.
Yes...
- No.
No.
- Shut up!
Just shut up, you old hag!
This isn't real.
You're just a fake, I hate you!
- Where are you?
- I'll see you in hell, bitch!
- How do you like them apples?
How do you like them -
- No, no, no!
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- I just don't understand why you insist
that we come back so early.
There's nothing wrong with your mother.
- Russ, I just feel more comfortable not
leaving Mother out so long.
Hello, Dorothy.
We didn't wake you, did we?
- We did.
Is Alice's mother all right?
Any... problems?
- Yes.
I mean...
Everything was great.
I was just watching a movie
and reading a book and...
I must have just fallen asleep.
What time is it?
Um, it's 1:15.
Here, I'm gonna go check on Mother,
so why don't you give Dorothy her payment?
- Even when she's almost dead,
she still has a leash on that woman.
So, 200...
Right?
- What a night!