An Accidental Studio (2019) - full transcript

A few weeks ago,

you received a critical
award here in London,

the London Standard Film Award,

which was for your
outstanding contribution

to British filmmaking.

There are a lot of
people who consider you

to have kind of saved the
British filmmaking industry.

Well, I think it
was more of the award

for the only English-British
company that's left.

HandMade Films to
me was a signature,

this is gonna be quality stuff.



For me, to make
films is my way

to help other people.

It was George
Harrison's company.

Well, it doesn't get
much cooler than that.

I mean, I spent
25 years in this pop group.

He said to me,

"I'm so grateful that
you did this film."

I was like, "You're grateful?"

He came into
the entire room,

and it was like
meeting royalty for us.

That's what they always say
in the papers, "movie mogul".

You know, there's
always this battle

between the artists
and the money people.

I can't imagine
anything more risky



than this business.

And I don't particularly
like being the money.

Every film that
we've done has been rejected

by everyone in the world.

This was the world that
I wanted to be a part

of building HandMade into,

that you literally would,

people would say, "I've
got another script."

We'll do it.

♪ What you dream of ♪

HandMade
felt like family.

They weren't a big studio.

They did go with quirky,
off-beat, atypical stories.

Very good films got
made in a very short time.

I can't think of any other
period in British filmmaker

which was quite so rich.

It's
new, and it's news.

Sheffield's ABC Cinema,

the last word for picture goers.

With 1,300 luxury seats,

with a 60 foot screen doing
justice to the epic dramas

of which only the
cinema is capable.

It was just nice in
those post-war years

to get out the house
and go somewhere

where there's all
nice golden lights,

and little goldfish
swimming in the foyer.

And yeah, we had some really
neat cinemas in Liverpool.

In the 50s, they
were fabulous places.

Art deco, wonderful places.

And generally, you know,
the screens were big,

and it was something
quite different

from any other sort
of entertainment.

I mean, I went to see
everything, of whatever standard.

It didn't
matter what is was.

No matter
how good or bad it was.

Where you were transported
to a different world

for an hour of a half.

The industry had got into
a very sorry state by 1982,

under the leadership
of two major companies,

Rank and EMI.

When it
comes to entertainment,

you can't beat a good film.

I think there were
about 23 films made.

Typically in the UK, we
make 90 to 120 films a year,

23 films in a year was
really, really low.

And at the same time, the
number of tickets sold

was going down and down.

The average Briton went to
the cinema 11 times a year.

It was down to nought
point four visits a year.

So things in the early 80s
were really, really grim.

Rank and EMI famously said
no to almost everything

that was interesting.

♪ Brian ♪

♪ The babe they call Brian ♪

I remember exactly when
the "Life of Brian" idea

rose up in our lives.

We were promoting "Holy Grail",

and we were on a
little pub crawl.

There we were sitting, drinking,

and Eric said, "Jesus
Christ's Lust for Glory",

and ideas came out very quickly.

Of course, we didn't
use most of them because

they were too blasphemous
and we never wanted

to pick on Jesus.

In fact, he was okay
when you look at the Bible.

It was the followers
and the churches

that needed a lot of kicking.

People started reading
books, the Bible,

getting ready to go.

And a man called Barry
Spikings who worked for EMI,

liked the script very much,

and got EMI to invest
some money in it,

and the crew were sound
out to Monastir in Tunisia

to start building
some of the sets.

We were
leaving on a Saturday,

and on Thursday we got the news

that Lord Delfont,
Bernie Delfont,

had got around to
reading the script.

He said, "You can't do this,

"we can't have EMI involved
in something like this,

"it's blasphemous, it's rude,

"it's shameful,
it's disgusting."

And there was no way
he would be involved

with this non anti
Semitic filmmaking.

And ordered Spikings
to pull the plug.

When we
didn't go to Tunisia,

we suddenly were caught with
our pants down, nothing.

So, John Golston
set off for America,

and we go around all
these people in New York,

and we go to meetings,

and they say "What's it about?"

Well, it's a sort of,
and they go, "Out."

You know, it was like selling
springtime for Hitler.

Well, thank
God that George Harrison

was a big Python fan,
that's really it.

And that Eric had
gotten over the years

quite close to George.

'Cause I met him out here,

at a screening of
"The Holy Grail".

Partied for days.

And he was good fun.

I kept calling him and saying,

"We're looking for this money."

And he said, "No, don't
worry, I'll get it."

And I say, yeah, sure, sure.

So I said I know.

As a Python fan, I'd
certainly like to see it made.

I asked my manager
can you think of how

to get them the money?

And he came back
to me in a week,

he said, "I think I
know how we can do it.

"We'll be the producers."

George and Denis were a team.

You know, 'cause after
The Beatles break up,

there were all sorts of problems

with all sorts of things.

George had met Denis
through Peter Sellers,

and Peter said,

"Oh, I know the man,
you need help here,

"and finances, whatever it is."

Denis had done
something extraordinary,

and basically put George
back on his feet financially.

'Cause he's got a
vast variety of skills,

as you know.

I mean, he's a highly
trained lawyer.

And then he's got training
as a merchant banker too.

Denis hadn't come up
through the industry,

so I think to most people he
was just a bit of a mystery.

And now for something
completely different.

The Pythons, having
been a big fan,

and still am, really.

Was that true
that you sent a telegram

to the BBC?

Mm, nobody ever reacted to it.

But we never, ever
received this message.

Oh, I don't remember,
something like, you know, fab.

"Fab lads, well
done, keep doing it."

I don't know, just some
word of encouragement

that at least two people
out there enjoyed it.

And you know, the classic
thing is I once said,

"George, five million
pounds on one film?

"Why?"

He said, "Well, you know,
I just wanna see it."

What we did was,
we pawned my house

and the office in London,

to get a bank loan,

and that was a bit nerveracking.

If I'd known that, I
would've been terrified

about doing the movie.

Thinking that George's
house was on the line.

But fortunately, I
didn't know about it,

so I was blissfully
unaware and I thought,

oh, they can afford
that, so that's fine.

Terry Jones
was an extremely good

director of comedy, I mean
he knew how to shoot comedy,

which is not lots of
cutaways and lots of fuss,

just get a group of people,
see them interacting

and all that, you know.

Actually, I think
we should do it.

And what have they
ever given us in return?

The aqueduct.

What?

The aqueduct.

Yeah, yeah, they gave us
that, yeah, that's true.

Yeah, and
the sanitation.

Oh yeah, the sanitation.

Remember what the city
used to be like, Reg?

Yeah, yeah, all right.

I'll grant you the aqueduct
and the sanitation,

two things the Romans have done!

And the roads!

Well, yeah, obviously the
roads go without saying.

But apart from the
sanitation, the aqueduct,

and the roads...

Irrigation.

Medicine.

Education.

Yeah, yeah, all right.

And the wine.

Yeah, that's the one
thing we really would miss,

if the Romans weren't here.

Yeah, but apart
from the sanitation,

the medicine, the
education, the wine,

public order, irrigation, roads,

a fresh water system
and public health,

what have the Romans
ever done for us?

George played
Mr. Papadopoulos,

the man who had the mount

to give him the
mount for the day.

Unfortunately, we couldn't
use his voice in the end

because just the general noise,

you couldn't hear anything.

So I had to dub his
voice, unfortunately.

"Hello, good evening."

Once The Beatles broke up,

it was clear that
George liked the idea

of being part of another group,

and the Python gang was one

that he admired what we did,

he thought it was wonderful.

He got involved,
and oddly enough,

as we were editing,

he was there for a bit,

and then he absented himself

'cause he just thought,

well, he thought these
guys were geniuses

and they knew exactly
what they were doing.

No, there's constant fighting,

and that was always the
strength of the group.

He decided maybe
it was best to know

a little less about how
we worked as a group,

because it was
probably as fractious

as "The Beatles" were.

I suppose we weren't interested

the fights within The Beatles,

or we didn't want to know,

we just wanted to
know the result,

and I think that's
what intrigued him,

the result, not the
way to get there.

Well, the new
Monty Python film

is entitled "The Life of Brian".

It is a spoof of
"The Life of Christ",

and has managed to
offend just about

every religious
group in the city.

Well, today the Citizen's
Committee Against Blasphemy

took to the streets
to protest the film.

The rabbis and priests said
the film debases Christ,

Judaism, and the
Holy scriptures,

and they want the film pulled.

The Jews were
marching against us,

the Protestants were
marching against us,

the Catholics were
marching against us.

We did it all, one film.

They were demonstrating
outside of Warner Brother Films

in New York, and
everybody was showing

film clips on TV saying
how rotten it was,

but actually it was very good,

Christ came out of it fine,

it was completely
the point about how

idiotic the people are.

My mother, who's
a good Christian,

church every Sunday,
she saw the film

and she didn't understand what

people were talking about,

because it wasn't
attacking Jesus,

it was attacking all
the fools around.

Look, he has given us a sign.

He has given us a shoe.

A shoe is the sign!

Let us follow his example!

What do you mean?

Let us like him,
carry one shoe,

and let the other
be upon our foot,

for this is his sign

that all who follow
him shall do likewise!

No, no, no, no!

The shoe is a sign that we
must gather shoes in abundance.

No, no, it is a
sign that like Him,

we must think not of
the things of the body,

but of the face and head!

Give me your shoe!

No, get off!

It's a sandal!

No, it's not!

Cast it away!

Keep one on!

Clear off!

Which one, this one?

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

And, action.

George rang and said,
"What are you doing now?"

And I said, well, I'm
not doing very much.

He said, well, I think
I've got a film company.

Why don't you be
me in the office?

Ray was a very special
character in this mix,

because he was George's
voice in many ways.

Ray was really
the guy that knew scripts

better than anybody else.

He was much more to do with

picking the right
material for them,

and you know,
selecting what to make.

Ray's fantastic
in development,

fantastic in post-production,

and on the set, he
wouldn't interfere

unless there was
creative issues,

because he lets
the filmmakers make

what they want to make.

And he became a very,
very important bridge

between the artistic,
if you'd like,

and the sort of
financial priorities,

which were Denis's.

Ray Cooper is one of the
most brilliant percussionists

in rock history, and Ray
played with Elton John,

and played with everyone.

If you
watch him on stage,

the lovely thing is he's
extraordinarily diffident

until he's actually on,

and then he's a raving maniac.

It seemed to us to be a
very extraordinary leap

that suddenly Ray was
now somebody important

in a film company.

Originally, when we needed
a name for the company

I thought of calling it
British HandMade Films

because I'd seen
it on a watermark

on a piece of paper, it
said British Handmade Paper.

The sad thing was
George wanted to call it

British HandMade Films,
but we weren't allowed to.

Which is strange
because, you know,

all the nationalized
British industries

are all the ones that
lose a lot of money,

so I take it that's the reason

you have to lose a
lot of money first

before they let you
call it British.

So, it was HandMade Films,

and I drew a little logo,

and we were in business.

I met Eric Idle at a party,

and "Life of Brian"
had really taken off,

and I said "Hey, you
must've made a fortune

"out of "Life of Brian",

"do you want to buy a film?"

And he said, "Yeah, well,
let's have a look at it."

I'd always loved
American gangster films,

especially Bogart films,

and there's a kind of fantasy

of wanting to write a film noir,

and if Bogart had
been a Cockney,

if he'd of been
born in East London,

so that was the kind
of starting point

character like that.

Well, the idea
was presented to me

in a form of a script,

it was given to a friend
of mine, Barry Hanson,

who had worked with
Barrie Keeffe, a writer.

They had thought of doing
a British gangster movie.

He gave me this early script,

one of the first of
the many rewrites

we actually eventually did,

and I just thought the
central idea was great.

We stumbled on the
idea that usually

it's a Mr. Peak, and
there's the young contender

gonna overtake him, and
that's the power struggle,

but I thought that
had been done so often

and was kind of tiresome.

At the same time, there was
that Easter weekend coming up,

and on the radio they
were talking all the time

about the quietest
Good Friday in Belfast

since the troubles had began,

and that started to
fall into place then,

setting it against
not another Mr. Peak,

but another organization,

and the kind of theme of it was

gangsterism versus terrorism.

Terrorism fighting for
an ideal, in quotes,

or gangsterism fighting
just for money,

and who's going to win,

so that was the kind of theme.

Bob, was for me,
crucial to the part,

and he gave me all the
nuances of the character

that I really wanted.

I suppose it was me.

The character was me,

apart from being a gangster.

You know, sort of
quite emotional,

sort of always going
the stray route.

You know, I didn't
have to work hard,

that was who I was.

I wanted him to be a very
three dimensional character.

It was strange, because
I wrote it before

Thatcher had come to power,

but he was a very much a
Thatcherite man, wasn't he?

A personification of
all she stood for.

Our country's not
an island anymore!

We're a leading European state.

Right!

And I believe that
this is the decade

in which London will
become Europe's capital.

No other city in the world

has got right in its center,

such an opportunity for
profitable progress!

I agreed to do
the film because

Barrie said he would
make my particular role

much more interesting,

and as often happens...

Have a nice Easter.

Other things were more
important at the time,

really none of my questions
had been addressed,

so then I was in a
very awkward position,

because I kind of
signed up for something

only understanding that
this would be done,

and it hadn't been done.

You don't get Helen,

someone as intelligent as Helen,

who's obviously intelligent,
to play a bimbo.

So, basically
the role got developed

while we shot.

Helen's
input made the character

a lot stronger
than she had been.

She was classy,
and she was educated,

and that was her
contribution to his world.

We'll plate it up, all right?

You went to school
with Princess Anne,

played hockey with
her, all that.

There's lacrosse at Benenden,

hockey's frightfully vulgar.

Yes, yes, plenty
of that, yeah.

I think she would've preferred

to have had a machine
gun at some stage in it,

but I thought she was
absolutely wonderful,

and she was the power behind
the throne, absolutely.

The great organization,

it was a subsidiary of that,

and we had kind of
absolute freedom,

they weren't involved
in what we were doing

at all, actually.

And until the film was finished,

the rough cut of it,

Barry Hanson was working with,

he knew what it was all about.

But the people that
put the money into it

had no idea until
they actually saw it.

I still remember being
called to a meeting,

they said "We can't
show this film,

"it's IRA propaganda.

"If we show this in our cinemas,

"the IRA will start
blowing them up."

I remember saying,

"Well, if it's IRA propaganda,

"why are they going to blow up
your cinemas for showing it?"

And they said to me,

"Don't get fucking
intellectual with me."

Which I took as a compliment

poorly expressed, of course.

Eventually they said,

"All right, you
can buy the film."

I thought well, yeah.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, thanks.

Bob met Eric at a party,

and Eric said "What
are you doing?"

And he said, "I just
finished this film,

"we can't get it shown."

And it was obviously
a very good film,

and it was obviously gonna
work with an audience.

And so I just called them
up at HandMade and said,

"Listen, you can't
lose with this one,

"it's a winner, my boys."

Buy this.

I actually had
spoken to George

about "The Long Good Friday",

and he said

"if I would've known
it was that violent,

"I wouldn't of taken it on,

"I wouldn't of paid."

Because he never saw it.

But, well, they bought it cheap,

and I said well,
get this one in.

I wasn't putting
one over on him,

but he said, "If I would've
known it was that violent,

"I wouldn't of bought it."

"Chariots of
Fire" from England

just won the Best Picture Oscar,

and now another British
film will, I predict,

be a very big hit in America,

it is called "A
Long Good Friday".

It is a gangster movie,

and it stars Bob Hoskins,

one of Britain's best
actors, good morning.

Not expecting
anything from America,

I thought they
would think it was a

phony imitation of American
mobster and gangster films.

Everybody's comparing
you do Edward G. Robinson

and Jimmy Cagney, you know?

"Little Caesar", and those
great gangster pictures

of the 30s.

What do you feel when
you hear yourself

compared to those guys?

Very, very flattered,
incredibly flattered.

But we tried to make a really
British gangster, you know?

It's very difficult
to do a gangster

without slipping into
a little bit of Cagney

and Edward G. in there,

'cause they are the
gangsters, aren't they?

It was an absolute surprise,

the reaction in America,

and it was delight
of course, yeah.

Ladies and gentlemen,
in our brief few minutes,

I just wanted you
to meet Bob Hoskins

who has flown in from England

to be on the Today program.

I think he is an actor,

already celebrated
in Great Britain,

who will become very famous
in the United States,

and one of his reasons for that

is his performance in
"The Long Good Friday".

It's a terrific gangster movie.

Thank you very much
for being with us.

Cheers.

George's passion and
enthusiasm and support

in the initial days were
that he would pay for,

and-or make the money available,

which was extraordinary.

So there was no,

"Well, we'll look at
the script, and yeah,

"now we've gotta go
out and get the money,

"and we have to piece that
one together and all that,

piece of money's
fallen out a bit."

So we did none of that.

It was, if you got a
green light at HandMade,

it was because it was
gonna go, it was green-lit.

That was it.

If you are involved
with HandMade,

the possibilities are
quite extraordinary.

You could just come up
with a lollipop wrapper,

and say I want to make a
film about this character

on the lollipop wrapper.

Yeah?

And then they'll listen.

I used to come across scripts

that were almost
car chase sequence

from beginning to end,

and I had no interest.

And George wanted
to know there was

a story being told
of human dimension.

If I went in to
say, Universal,

and said, "Well, I've got
this lollipop wrapper,"

"Yeah, Bob, great.

"Lunch?"

You know, it's get out of here.

George was
interested in making

stuff that the
Pythons wanted to make

collectively, or individually.

All I knew was
that Terry Gilliam

came with two sheets of
paper with this idea on it,

and it just sounded
like a great idea.

Terry came in and said,

"I've got this great
idea for a film.

"This kid is in his bedroom,

"and then the cupboard
door bursts open,

"a knight comes through,

"and they go through
into a time warp

"and they're going
from time to time."

I said oh, that's good, yeah.

He says, "Come, we'll
go and tell Denis."

So, we went to Cadogan Square

to a meeting with Denis.

Denis looks at me and says,

"How much will it cost?"

There was no script,
there was nothing.

So I invented a figure, I
said "Three million pounds."

So he said "Okay, off you go."

And that was it, we were
making "Time Bandits",

we had no script,
we had no nothing.

We just got Terry with a guy
coming through a cupboard,

and me inventing a
budget, you know,

and that was it, we were off.

Come on!

Who is that?

Return what you
have stolen from me.

Return!

Return the map.

It will bring you great danger.

Stop now!

It was the second
film Terry had done,

it was a risk for you,

and it was a risk
for Denis to take on,

because it was the most
expensive movie that you'd done.

Well, I think
Terry is brilliant,

he needs to make films,

and I think we
need to make films

with people like him.

I wanted to make
a film with a kid

as the main character,

but I didn't think it could
hold the film together,

so let's surround him with
a gang the same height.

Oh, they used to work for God,

who helped create the
universe, and they're bored,

and they want to make money,

and the idea of doing a robbery

and then escaping before
the robbery ever happened

just seemed a simple idea,

and it started like that,
and then went to Mike.

He kind of just said,
"Hey, do you want to

"have a look at this?

"It would be great if you
could write it with me,

"because you know, I don't write

"but I've got all these ideas.

"What do you think?"

So, we discussed it,
and I quite liked it.

That's him!

You're not gonna rob him?

Yeah, every single
penny he's got.

I think the thing is,

we collaborated on what period
of history you would see.

Whether that was Napoleon,
or it was, you know,

Ancient Greece, or
Ancient Rome, whatever,

so I was able to
sort of create those

and keep a sort of
serious comedy feel

to the historical inset.

So it worked out, and we
started writing on it.

There was another issue,

which was very important
at the time for HandMade,

it was, was this a Python film,

or was it not a Python film?

I was involved in the film,

so I said we must
make quite sure

this isn't a Python
film, 'cause it isn't.

I mean, even though
four Pythons were in it,

I think, in the end.

"Time Bandits", was that right?

Denis was very excited
'cause he could see

there were a lot of roles

for a lot of Pythons in here.

Like in "Holy Grail".

So from his point of view,

it made real sense.

Very, very tricky area indeed,

and you could feel
that you were being

led down some sort of
dangerous path here

of having to get the money
because it was Python,

but at the same time saying
it's not a Python film.

And so, then, the
next thing is, okay,

now we need a part for John.

I think it was Denis that
might've suggested Robin Hood.

I said, well, Mike's
already playing Robin Hood.

"Wouldn't John be a
little bit better?"

And Mike being Mike,
being a nice guy,

agreed that John
would be really good.

Hello, I'm Hood.

It's Robin Hood.

And he was brilliant!

Much, much better than
I could ever have done.

And you're a robber too, how
long have you been a robber?

4'1.

Good Lord!

Jolly good, 4'1?

Yes.

Well, that is a
long time, isn't it?

And then Denis, "Oh,
we can't lose Michael,

"he's a Python.

"He's got it on his name tape."

So, I wrote myself in as one
of the starstruck lovers,

along with Shelley Duvall.

With memorable lines like...

I must have fruit!

Now we've got
three Pythons now,

we're not doing badly.

And maybe that Beatle
will get a song or two

in there somewhere.

There weren't any big stars
in it really, wasn't there?

Sean Connery.

Sean Connery.

But he's only bout
5'6, isn't he?

John Cleese was the
biggest star of the film,

but he's 6'5.

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much!

Thank you very, very,
very, very much!

Awful people.

I don't know how
you got those people

to be in the film,
apart from offering them

probably ludicrous
rewards just for show.

Money is the usual thing.

That's why most of our
films don't have big stars,

is 'cause we don't
give them enough money.

Money is honey.

Well, the Gods must
have given you a name.

Oh yeah, Kevin.

Kevin?

Each of these "Time Bandits"
had different characters.

One was the bossy one, one
kept eating everything.

Terry really fancied
me for the part of Og,

so I read for him, so he
thought go a bit stupid tonight.

I've got an idea
forming in my head.

You haven't had an idea
for thousands of years!

I learned a lot from it,

and that's not to go
near water or let people

hang you upside down.

They were very dangerous scenes.

Off with safety, it was gone.

Oh, Pansy.

No more what ifs now, Pansy.

I remember just another
instance of that.

There's a scene
where the Bandits

fall on top of a coach

which Shelley and
myself were in.

Shelley was very
worried, you know,

about where they're gonna fall,

how they're gonna fall.

So Terry sort of showed her

how they were gonna fall,

and he sort of jumped
off onto the coach.

And as I demonstrated this,

as I fell on top of the
wagon, I fell wrongly.

But fell through the roof,
and knocked Shelley sideways.

I think I almost
broke her neck.

I think a few
vertebrates popped.

And that was an
embarrassing moment.

And she was then off
filming for about two days

while they got her
better.

And dear Terry was
trying to do his best.

"It's not gonna hurt,
it's gonna be like this!"

Ahh, crack.

But at least I
showed what not to do,

which is as important as showing

what to do in life.

It was stressful
because Terry Gilliam

is very demanding.

You're trying to achieve
what he's got in his head,

and nobody can achieve it
because it's not possible.

And that's the way
he works, really,

and sort of pushing the limits,

saying I could do this,

and you say no you can't,

no one can ever do that.

And he does it.

Oh, Terry Gilliam
falls out with almost

everyone he's ever met,
and doesn't speak to them

for three years, you know?

This is part of Terry's life.

We had a few rows with Terry,

but very small compared
to the trouble he's had

with recent films.

Terry Gilliam is never
satisfied with anything.

He just made a 45
million dollar film

and he's still complaining.

Didn't have enough money.

He's just a silly
old bitch, I mean...

He's very sweet, I took him
out to dinner last night.

I paid, of course.

Tight little American git.

During all this time,

I was having this little
fight with Denis, as it were.

And this is one I think
George has decided

at that point I was a
complete, impossible asshole.

Because I said, "Now, Denis,

"Denis, you tried to change
the end of this film,

"you cannot change
the end of this film.

"The parents blow up,

"because they didn't listen to
good advice from their child.

"The parents must be punished."

"There's no way you can
have a children's film

"where the parents
blow at the end."

I say, "Ah, kids will love it."

And Denis wouldn't stop,

and I became the brick
wall that he kept

banging his head against,

to the point that
I finally said,

"Denis, you see
this piece of film?

"That's the negative,
I made that.

"See this 10 penny nail?

"I bought that.

"I could do that.

"If I made it, I
can destroy it."

It did stop him for a bit.

But George thought I was
completely out of control.

Mom, Dad, it's evil!

Don't touch it!

At the end of "Time Bandits",

we did have a song by George,

and it was a lovely song,

and then Ray Cooper said,

"You know, have you really
listened to the lyrics?"

I said, "No,
they're lovely, why?"

"Those are George's
notes to you,

"and it's all about time,

"don't take up too much time."

Ie, the length of
the film is too long.

I should apologize because
of my bad behavior.

It was absolutely brilliant.

A typical way of being as
tough as George can be,

and very direct and
very honest and open,

but being clever
at the same time,

disguising it amongst
beautiful sounds.

♪ Lucky you got so far ♪

♪ All you owe is apologies ♪

We made the film, and the
studio saw the finished film,

and said no.

The executives in Hollywood
had all got together

and said, oh it doesn't
work, because of this,

because it's got small people.

They couldn't understand
who the audience would be.

It wasn't just for kids,

it wasn't an adult film.

Python fans, they're only
a small number of people.

They had no intention
of releasing it.

Denis decided to
release it himself.

Him and George would
pay for the release.

He decided to do what
became called in the industry,

the Time Bandits Deal.

He did a deal with a
company called AVCO Embassy

who didn't have much
of a slate at the time.

Which were the
smallest of the majors.

They hadn't had a
hit in 10 years,

but they had a machine that
could deal with distribution,

and so we went with them,

George guaranteed five million
dollars prints and ads,

so off we went.

And for Sean
Connery to find out

that not only had we
financed the film,

but we're now putting up an
addition 5.5 million dollars,

wherever he was in the world,

he quickly grabbed the
phone and called me,

and he said, "You can't do this,

"I mean you're absolutely mad.

"No one does this."

Well, everyone was looking
at the big Christmas movies.

And suddenly, there's a
bit of a gap in November,

no one has the big movies yet,

and the summer
movies have all gone.

And into that gap, Denis managed

to get "Time Bandits" inserted.

No competition, nothing.

We were on our own.

The film was huge.

We went to number one,
and we sat there for weeks,

and it was fantastic 'cause

we just showed all you
professionals are wrong again.

And so the money
just rolled in.

Those were heady days,

it was heady time at HandMade.

Last week however, HandMade
hit the box office charts

with two films in the
top five in London.

We had "Life of
Brian", a success,

and "Time Bandits",
bigger success,

there was no way to stop us.

What HandMade was doing

with those two
films in particular,

we're showing people
there's other ways

to make films and succeed.

Until Mike started making films.

Oh sorry, what'd I say?

So, Michael Palin,
he'd done a TV show

called "Ripping Yarns",

and I was a big
fan of that show,

and I once said to him,

why don't you write
a big "Ripping Yarn"?

I'd sort of felt it was time

to try and write a film,

and I had this idea
about "The Missionary".

It's a story
about a missionary,

and he decides to look
after fallen women,

or prostitutes, on the
East End of London.

So, what do you want
me to do, my Lord?

Go amongst
prostitutes, Fortescue.

Go to the filthiest
streets of London

into the back alleys, and
behind the workhouses.

Seek out the harlots
and the street walkers,

get to know them, get
to understand them,

win their confidences.

Find out why they
do what they do,

and stop them doing it.

Richard and I
got on quite well.

The idea of working with
Michael was just a joy.

We worked on the
script together.

I should think I probably
contributed half a percent.

Yeah, it was
quite collaborative.

And you cast actors
like Maggie Smith,

you just know they're
gonna deliver.

Well, England's very
liberal after Africa,

I assure you.

Oh, do you really think so?

I find it very stifling.

Really?

In what way?

Well, I mean,
well for instance,

I couldn't just go
around saying that

I find you very attractive.

There are many
wonderful sequence.

The sequence where Michael goes

to try and raise some
money from this old Duke,

and he goes in and the
Duke's sitting there,

and Michael's just
pitching him this idea

of raising money
for his mission.

It's all very well
sending out missions

to Indo-China, the
Gambia, Somaliland,

when the real problems are here,

under our very noses.

Three quarters of
the way through it,

Michael's going, it's one take,

suddenly a maid comes in.

Emote in other's eyes,

but not the beam in our own.

Unless we can take up the battle

to save and enlighten
these wretched souls now,

then the darkness of ignorance

we see so clearly in others

will engulf us all!

And then a doctor comes in.

To ignore what is going on,

to pretend nothing is happening.

We can begin the moral revival.

The only line for
anyone else is...

I'm awfully sorry,
but my husband has died.

Died?

Wonderful scene
that Michael wrote

and acted amazingly well.

I'm most frightfully
sorry, I shall be going.

Oh no, it's I who
should be sorry.

It was really a
breach of manners.

I think "The Missionary"

was pretty much how
I wanted it to be,

but I realized there was
sort of weakness at the end

where they all go
off to Scotland.

It wasn't quite as
light and as fluent

as it should be.

You know, you need
to get off screen

better than you
do anything else.

It doesn't matter what
the first 10 minutes

of a movie are like really,

most people won't walk out.

And the last 10 minutes,
I think 15, I got wrong,

I would say.

Fortescue returned
to the mission he loved,

and which had loved him.

So successful was he at
filling it with girls,

that in March, 1907, the
bishop of London himself

closed it down.

HandMade started out
with a talent group

which was the
Monty Python group,

and I think that was the model

that HandMade really
tried to follow,

which is to back talent,

which is a great model for
independent production companies,

it's a really good
model if you can do it.

Denis wanted to
basically use the Pythons

and control the Pythons,

and provide for the Pythons.

I do remember him entertaining
us all one summer,

and he was going to do his pitch

for managing the
Pythons, really,

and taking over the Pythons.

And we had a very
nice time then,

he was very generous, and we
had his pool, and all that,

and then we sat down
with his great board,

and Denis drew lots
of sort of arrows

and names on the board,

which was sort of mainly
consisting of small islands

in the Caribbean region
that no one ever heard of,

and this is where Python
was gonna be based.

Well, who do we talk to there?

"Oh, don't worry about that,
don't worry about that."

And it looked as
though by imposing

a sort of structure
which meant that Python

had to make this many
films over the years,

he couldn't see really that
the creative side of Python

was a very messy business.

It wasn't something
where you just sat down

and wrote a film like that.

It took a long time for
ideas to come through,

a long time for
them to be debated,

and the one thing we
didn't want to see

in any shape or
form was control,

creative control of our work.

When we did discuss
all this together,

and do we want Denis
to be our manager,

and we decided no,

we didn't want Denis
to be our manager.

So that was the kind
of crunch point where

HandMade Films really ceased
to be a Python company.

Are you sad
to have lost Monty Python?

I haven't lost Monty Python,

they're still good
friends of mine.

If you mean the fact
that we didn't produce

their last film, I'm not sad.

I didn't produce the first two.

It was a pleasure to be
able to, at that time,

bail them out of that situation,

and come out of it with
a film that was funny.

You know, I'm happy whichever
way things turn out,

I don't try to hang onto it.

I'd rather hang onto
friendships than business deals.

Are you ready?

And mark it.

It was an idea for a film
about a Caribbean island

that discovers Perrier water.

She's gonna blow!

It all sounded terribly funny

over a second bottle of wine.

We've struck fucking Perrier!

Because of our
relationship with HandMade,

we mentioned the idea to
Denis, and he liked it.

And then basically,
now Denis was saying,

"Well, we can do
this if you got,

"you know, a bankable cast."

Our first thought for the
lead was Michael Caine.

We managed to get
the script around,

I won't forget
some of those days.

I'd been asked to a party,

and it was in Beverly Hills,

so the whole Brit
community was there,

including Michael and Shakira.

And my wife and I walked
in, we're saying hi,

and Michael looked at
me from across the room,

and he went...

And I went, "Shit."

I didn't stay at the party,

I went straight back
up to Dick's house,

which was up the
street, and told him.

So, Michael made it happen.

What's this now?

It's the Cascaran
national anthem sir.

What are you all doing?

The breast stroke, sir.

You see, these people
are all descended

from shipwreck victims.

I'm trying to remember at
what point we cast Brenda.

Are you ready, honey?

Brenda was a bit
of a name for us.

It's me.

Brenda Vaccaro.

Let's go.

I mean, she's a
force of nature.

Okay, so where was I?

Brenda knew the
difference between

the Guatemalan accent
and the Mexican accent,

so she prepared in that respect.

I didn't.

And I had it made,
actually, from Guatemala.

Who would say, instead
of "Get me some pins."

she would say, "You
know, I need the pins."

I'd say, well honey, we all do.

And I thought
this is the only accent

I want to do.

You lied to me when I
was a girl in Guatemala!

You weren't a
girl, you were never a girl!

I was, you lie!

Let's
face it, Delores,

you never fitted
into diplomatic life.

You say
I embarrassed you.

You're ashamed by me?

I am just saying that things

might have turned
out differently

if you hadn't danced
the "Cucaracha" topless

at the reception for
the Duke of Edinb...

He loved it!

I was worried, because I
was worried about the script.

This is not to say there's
not many things I like in it,

but I just don't
think it pulls it off

as a cohesive whole.

Creatively, it
just doesn't add up.

It's not a tone
Dick and I use to,

I don't know what film
it's trying to be.

Is it trying to be a farce?

Is it trying to be a satire?

Is it trying to be a
character driven comedy?

It's a bit of all three,
and it falls short.

We were preparing
the shoot the anthem

in the United Nations, you know,

and the idea was to get a
stellar ensemble to sing.

Suddenly, it became
the music, the hangout,

because there was
Eric, and George,

there was John Lord
from Deep Purple,

Ray Cooper, and Ringo.

Every time I looked around,

one of my heroes was
looking back at me,

in my backing band,
it was like a dream,

it was extraordinary, really.

I'm sure everybody
thought this was

gonna help sell the movie.

It didn't really, did it?

♪ There was a freedom ♪

I don't want to sound
totally negative about it,

I want people to
go out and buy it

and see it for themselves
if they agree or not.

Go and have a look at it.

I know that if you
smoke a very large joint,

it's really a fun movie.

I know that most people who
enjoyed it have been high.

"Oh man, that film
was so awesome."

And then I thought
yeah, he's a smoker.

Denis kept going
on to me about,

"Michael, Michael,
you gotta be in Water.

'You know, it's the Caribbean."

I said, "Well I've got this film

"in which I play a chiropodist."

He said, "Will
you come out here?

"I've got all these stars,
and all that sort of thing."

And Denis really
wouldn't let me go,

kept ringing up when I'd
come in late at night,

and Helen would say
"Denis is on the phone."

"Hello, Denis, hello."

"Michael, we've written
four more lines for you.

"We'll get you out there,

"we really want you to do it."

I said "Denis, no."

It was nice to be
asked, but in the end,

I got really fed up with this,

and you know, I got a new cat,

and we called the cat Denis,

so that when I come home
late in the evening,

Helen would say "Denis
has been on the phone."

I would transfer all
my sort of tension

and anger onto the cat.

And I'd think oh, that
lovely cat, that Denis.

Jason Gilbert Chilvers.

This country has just emerged

from a Second World War,

a war where millions
of people died,

most of them killed
by their fellow men.

Not with chiropodist tools.

It's not the
tools, it's the will.

He's doing his business again!

I'll trust you to
pick up the diarrhea.

Strange place, strange people.

They can understand it.

We ought to let it settle down.

Settle down?

Kill it.

You know, that how I remember
"Private Function" happening

was that Alan Bennett rang
me up and said, you know,

that he got a film
he'd like me to do,

and it sounded very good,

so I went along to a meeting.

And Alan said, "Right, where's
the money coming from?"

and I said "Me,
you're looking at me?

"You've only asked
me to do a part."

So I said, "Well, I'll ask them.

"I'm not sure if it's
what they'd want to do."

For you, Michael.

I remember asking
George about it,

and I said, you know,

"So, was it the script that
persuaded you then, George?"

He said, "No, no.

"I only got up to page four."

And he says, "Just
'cause you were in it,

"I thought it must
be all right."

It's about a pig, it's
about a very unpleasant part

of British history after
the Second World War,

where there was a lot of
very nasty behavior going on,

people being sort of
cheating, and lying,

and almost shining a light

on a very dark corner
of British history.

So, it had a real dark
comedy feel to it.

You got something we want.

Something that belongs to us.

Something with four legs,

and a little curly tail.

There were three pigs,

because they were all
supposed to have different...

They were all supposed to have
different talents, you know.

One could sing, one could dance,

the other one...

Well, I mean, this is how
it was put to us really

by the trainers.

In fact, only one
of them could act

to any standard at all.

The other two were
completely hopeless.

It was very hard
working with the pig

because it would be
brought onto the set,

and at some stage
it would defecate,

usually just before the take,

so we'd have to
get everyone out,

clean the carpet, and
there was a young lad

who was at the film
location every morning

saying "I'd love
to get into films.

"Any chance of me
getting into films?"

And "No, no, no, no."

And then somebody said,

"Oh, by the way, actually
there is something you can do."

And they gave him
a bucket, and said,

"When you're on the
set, the pig comes on,

"as soon as you
see anything appear

"from the pig's backside,
get the bucket under there."

And he did, and because
of the predictability

of the pig's bowel
movements, he could do that.

It saved us an
awful lot of time,

and he's the only person I think

on any credits anywhere

who's just been given the
credit of "Bucket Boy"

on the film.

No, it's rather nice that
on such a public occasion,

the Peter Sellers
Award for comedy

will go to a man from "A Private
Function", Michael Palin.

I must say, there was
considerable friction

between the creative side,

represented by Alan
Bennett, the writer,

particularly with Denis.

It was a difficult relationship.

We got the film
made, but there was

all sorts of problems
over payments

and all that sort of thing.

But anyway, the Evening
Standard Film Awards

of 19 whatever it
was, '85, or whatever,

won most of the awards,

and it won an award
for Denis and George,

who went up and sort of slightly

embarrassingly collected it,

and George called the
Duchess of Kent...

Your Majesty.

Your Royal Highness.

You're going one too high.

Oh.

Nothing's too good for you.

She's a bit of a boo.

So, it was all done,

and actually in the end,

it was much more
successful I think

than "Water", which
disappeared without trace,

it dried up..

Really, it's Mr. O'Brien,

the brains behind
HandMade Films.

A few years later,
I was with Alan,

and our cat had
sadly passed away,

and I told him that
I'm a bit sad today,

'cause Denis had died.

And Alan said just direct,

something about his heart
rose with elation, the news.

"Oh, your cat, oh the cat, oh.

"Oh, I didn't know that.

"Oh, I'm very sad,
that's terrible."

What we have done basically

is simply to take
whatever retained earnings

there have been over the year,

and simply re-invest those funds

into an expanded portfolio

so that we went from
making one film a year

to three films a year,

and finally up to
five films a year.

You know, Denis is
into this thing of well,

if we can produce more films,

we can get better
distribution deals,

or people will take
you more seriously.

Denis was very much
wanting to build a studio,

certainly a production entity.

It was driven by him.

It was as if Denis
was going off on his own.

There was an aspect
of selecting the projects

which was as much money as
it was the project itself.

When the company
starts getting bigger,

you take on more staff,

and you need to pay more staff,

you need to feed the beast,

and you need them
to buy films in

that perhaps you
wouldn't normally buy.

You need to make films,

because you gotta keep
that wheel turning.

They became just a system

that needed to keep
feeding itself.

Sometimes we'll
make films which

I go along with because
it's the company's decision

that this would be a good film,

but I don't particularly
like the script

or the film.

♪ I'm ready ♪

♪ You must be crazy ♪

We went after
"Shanghai Surprise"

because I believed
that we were playing

the Hollywood game
out of London,

and that this would be something

that would be a huge success.

It was
a couple of days

away from just shelving
the whole thing,

and then suddenly
the producer came up

and said "Oh yeah, Madonna's
agreed to be in the movie,

"and her husband, Sean
Penn, is also gonna be."

And at that time, it sounded
like quite a good idea.

I think really
"Shanghai Surprise"

was made with the intention
of making a blockbuster.

This is a new
direction for HandMade.

Because the
business side of it

got very excited by it.

It was pre-sold, and
it was big business.

I suppose on
somebody's decision was,

well, it's probably,
this could be good,

from a greed point
of view, I think.

The idea, "Hehe, we're
gonna have a big hit

"with this famous pop star."

I thought you were a bit hasty

doing a second film
about a missionary

before you've got the
money from the first one.

We like missionaries.

Two missionaries and a
glow in the dark tie salesman

do not just stroll
up to people and ask

if they've seen a thousand
pounds of opium lying around.

John Kohn, who
is quote on quote

the producer in the film,

really hadn't produced films,

he was a writer more
so than a producer.

Well, I read this book,

and the book wasn't very good,

but I thought that the
book had a kind of,

a Humphrey Bogart-Katherine
Hepburn relationship

like in "African Queen".

And I thought it
was good ingredients

and the script
wrote pretty easily.

The script was terrible.

It was absolutely terrible.

It was not a good script,

and that's where it starts.

That's the foundation of
which everything else is done,

that's the structure.

And if that's not
right, it's pointless.

Jim Goddard mostly
directed television

and on sets, and
mostly in the UK.

You know, this was a big film,

and that's why Sean could
walk right over him,

you know, basically.

Definitely the problem
was a clash of personality,

both very strong characters,

they both wanted the
film to look differently.

Jim tried to make
it as a comedy,

and Sean was hoping to make it

a dramatic escapism.

But he questioned
Jim all the time.

"Why is that, why
is it not that way?"

Jim thought that he
can tame the stars,

and eventually he couldn't.

Sean Penn has his issues,
Madonna had her issues,

the press, they're
having a field day,

because I think a lot
was going on there.

On the one hand in film,

all publicity is good publicity,

because then everyone's
heard of the movie.

On the other hand,
should you worry I think,

that it might be
interfering with

the business of
making the movie,

which in the end,
it clearly was.

When it comes
down to the wire,

there's only one person
who can solve problems,

and that's why we're
sending him off to Hong Kong

to see if he can deal
with Sean Penn and Madonna

in one week's time.

Well, "Shanghai
Surprise" unfortunately

got George involved as well,

and he was brought
in to sort of try,

and that was
terrible for George,

he didn't want to do that.

He went to Hong Kong,
he didn't want to do it.

I mean in some respects,

the press were sort of
right saying certain things.

But, they were a
bit over the top.

Well, you know, because the
stories were getting out,

Sean was not
shooting certain days

because he was
uptight by something

he read in the paper,
so I felt the only way

to smooth things over is
to try and get the press

to not get in their head.

Your
management contract

is up for sale,
did you know that?

And George, would
you like to buy it?

I don't know.

You're a little
troublemaker, aren't you?

I'm
not the only one here,

there's a room full of them.

I mean, the result of
the press conference was

they all stopped
slagging them off.

But it did have terrible affect

on the film and the crew.

♪ You got into my life ♪

♪ I don't know
how you found me ♪

♪ But you didn't stop ♪

Did you
get involved in

music in the films?

I got really
involved with "Shanghai",

which was another
reason it was personally

a sad situation,
because I put so much

of my own time into it.

So how
do you feel now

that it's more or less finished?

How do I feel?

Shocked and stunned.

And the film
didn't do very well,

and I think we have had a bit

of a disaster on our hands.

The problem I have
is when we make films

with people who I
don't particularly

want to make a film with,

and that's where HandMade
has become something else.

It was really
not what he wanted.

Madonna, Sean Penn thing,
the celebrity thing.

It was one, George wasn't
interested in that,

he wanted to see a good comedy

that was sort of played by
people he liked and knew.

And preferably,
something British

rather than something American.

You know, the beauty of it is

is that we had "Mona
Lisa" at the same time,

and quite honestly,
one negated the other.

They were so busy
making this other

big, huge film,

I just took the time
to make "Mona Lisa"

while they were doing
this huge thing, you know.

Mona Lisa was a story about

the hypocrisy of SoHo.

How those guys in
suits were probably

contributing to the Tory party

who were dealing in
drugs and prostitution,

who were actually
much bigger criminals

than guys walking around with
a swag sack on their back,

you know, if there
is such a thing,

a good old honest criminal.

I began to sketch
it out about this character

who came out of prison

and the world had
changed around him.

Neil had a stab
at writing a script,

and he kinda got stuck on it,

wasn't sure where to go.

So I had asked David if he could

have a look at the script

to see if there's
anything he could do.

And I was given a treatment,

and it was a third of a page,

it was just that much writing,

and I worked on that.

David wrote this really
hard-boiled script,

it was quite savage.

I then thought
long and hard about

who could play the part,

discussed it, of
course, with Neil,

and Bob's was the
name that was noted.

Bob wasn't 100% sure
about the script,

so I had to engineer a meeting

between Neil and Bob,

and they hit it
off straight away.

The minute I
met Bob I said okay,

I'm gonna rewrite
this whole thing,

the whole story for this man.

I mean, I really
wanted to make a movie

about how man deeply
misunderstood women.

I suppose I genuinely
didn't understand women

any more than the
central character did,

and I wanted to make a
film about that, you know?

Yeah?

Do you want mom?

Mom?

What is it, love?

Julie, get inside.

Just...

No you can't.

Listen!

You've been away
too fucking long!

Mom, no!

Wait, no, just a minute!

That's all I'm asking for!

She don't know you, George,

and she don't want to know ya!

I don't want to
fucking know you!

She's my daughter!

You can't do this to me,

I only came to see her.

Stop!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry!

Mom!

I loved the script.

And I took it to EMI,

they suddenly decided
not to make films,

they weren't into
production anymore,

and we were left a
bit high and dry.

And there weren't
that many stops then.

With EMI going down,

it wasn't like there
were a load of places

we could've gone,

and that's what made
HandMade special.

He got me the script
I think that day,

and I read it overnight,
and said this is great,

we've gotta do this movie.

Ray had set up a lunch for
George to meet with Neil,

and George had said
at the lunch that

this wasn't the kind of
script that he liked.

Basically, I would
like to keep it comedy,

or films that have some
sort of hope, you know?

But he trusted Ray 100%,

and George basically said
"Whatever you guys want."

The biggest thing
was casting Simone,

the title part of "Mona Lisa",

and we went to see a
play that Cathy was in

at the Barbican.

We then met with Cathy,

and she seemed amazing,

and Neil was
completely sold on her.

So we sort of offered her up

as the final piece
of the jigsaw.

Cathy was rejected by Denis.

And the suggestion from Denis,

he had seen a poster
for a James Bond movie

with Roger Moore, and
thought that Grace Jones

would make a fantastic
choice for the film,

which was a little horrific.

Cathy was wonderful,

and she was right for the role.

I mean, it could've
been a named person,

nobody really knew
Cathy at that point,

but this is what you have to do,

you have to support that chance.

And Denis says, "Well, all
right, if you think so."

Neil Jones said to me,

I'm gonna try and
get Michael Caine

to play the boss.

And I said, you've
got to be kidding.

HandMade's doing it, you're
never gonna afford those wages.

Usually I play leading
men in a picture,

and if you do, even though
the man is villainous,

you have to give him
some sort of sympathetic,

or nice, or kindly side.

But with Mortwell,
I didn't have to,

because I was only a small
part, so I enjoyed it.

Jesus Christ, George.

What am I doing here, right?

I didn't say that.

I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry,
it's bad to be sorry.

Hello, mate.

Hello.

Raschid, this is George.

Of course, we have met.

How did you get
on the other night?

Was she good?

Come on, George.

I'm sorry, but I've been
trying to contact you.

Wasn't Dudley
looking after you?

Well, yeah, yeah, he is,

but I mean, it's nothing like

the personal touch, is there?

Seven years.

This isn't the time.

This is business, George.

Yeah, but we've got
a lot to talk about.

So we have, I'll ring you.

You promise?

I promise.

Did you get the rabbit?

Cathy and Bob were
terrific together,

and Bob gave Cathy so much.

Because we had to do the scene

on the pier, and he
said to me very gently,

"You can do that
again, can't ya?"

And it wasn't the
director that said that,

but he said it, and I did,

and I started to
cry in the scene,

and I thought I can remember
distinctly thinking,

"My God, is that
what acting's about?

"It's about pain?"

And that's what it involves.

So I really, really
do credit him

for gently encouraging
me to go there.

I didn't want to go there.

Really, I think I
wanted to play safe,

and that's the first time
I'd ever cried in work.

You like her, don't you?

Of course I like her.

Yeah, but you like
her in that special way.

In the songs.

What songs?

Well, I've sold myself
for a couple of dykes.

She needs me, George.

And you needed me to get her.

You ever need someone?

All the time.

When you think of it,

that's a very
difficult thing to do,

'cause I had them both
wearing ridiculous glasses.

In a context, that
could almost be comic,

but actually in a situation

where they're crying
to each other,

they played it like a love story

that never actually
had a chance to happen

which I thought was marvelous.

So we got it into
Cannes Film Festival,

and Bob won the
prize for Best Actor,

and then they had to
fly him out there.

They were sort of announcing
on stage, Bob's progress,

so they were like "Monsieur Bob
has arrived at the airport."

They called him Monsieur Bob.

And then they were
like, 10 minutes later,

"Monsieur Bob is on the car."

And then 10 minutes later,

"Monsieur Bob is on the quaset."

And the audience would clap,

it was like Bob was
the star of the show.

Well, at the time Bob arrived,

the whole place was standing up.

It was an absolutely
lovely evening,

and what Cannes set off for Bob

was this sort of avalanche
of nominations and awards.

And I had done
"The Killing Fields",

and I showed "Withnail and I"

to an old friend
of mine in L.A.,

and I said I'd love
to get this made.

We took the script
into HandMade,

where Denis sort of spat
on it and handed it back,

but Ray Cooper, he
read it and loved it,

and gave it to George who was
flying to New York that night,

and George read it on the plane,

arrived in New
York, phoned Ray up,

and said "We're making this."

And so Denis was overridden.

It was a funny story,

and we tend to do things which

other companies don't do,

because first of all,

they're not really
that commercial,

and yet, I think if
something's really good,

it deserves to be made.

Have you got soup?

Why didn't I get any soup?

Coffee.

Why don't you use a cup
like any other human being?

Why don't you
wash up occasionally

like any other human being?

How dare you!

How dare you!

How dare you call me inhumane.

I didn't call you inhumane.

You merely imagined
it, calm down.

Right, you fucker.

I'm gonna do the washing up.

No, no, you can't!

It's impossible, I swear!

I've looked into it.

Listen to me, listen to me!

There are things in there,

there's a teabag growing!

And you haven't
slept in 60 hours,

you're in no state to tackle it.

Wait 'til the morning,
we'll go in together.

This is the morning!

Stand aside.

Okay.

My agent at the time
was Michael Whitehall,

and he called me up,

and I'd only been with him,
I think, for two months.

And he said, "I've
read this script,

"the people in the office
think it's quite funny,

"and it has an
unpronounceable title."

The reason I call
him Fatty Grand,

and still do call him Fatty,

when he came in for the job,

he was like a porky, 50s face,

Dirk Bogarde, but very
porky Dirk Bogarde,

who was clearly pretty
desperate to work.

He said, "Can you
read the first page

"of the kitchen scene?"

It came to a line
where Withnail says

"Fork it!" about matter
that's growing out

of the kitchen sink.

I had the script in one hand,

and with this had an
imaginary fork in my hand,

and I went...

"Fork it!"

Like that, and threw
the script at me.

And he said, "Have
you ever attacked

"any other directors before?"

And I said, "No, not yet."

And I thought, Christ,
you've got that line

so 100% right.

If you can do that,
you can do the rest,

so you got the part.

But I knew that
if I got this part,

it would literally
change my life,

and when I did get it, it did.

Keep back, keep back.

The entire sink's gone rotten.

I don't know what's in here.

Ah, ah!

I told you,
you've been bitten!

Burned, burned, the
fucking kettle's on fire!

There's something floating up.

Fork it!

Slate one.

My audition for it
was in Kensington,

and I was like an hour early.

I was all gypsyish
and nail varnished up

and stuff like that,

but I had the script.

And my first line is,

"You're looking very
beautiful today, man."

And I just thought, right,

you're looking very
beautiful today, man.

And I was like, no,

you're looking very
beautiful today, man.

I was like, no, I honestly
said that one line to myself

over and over again for an hour,

until I said...

You're looking very
beautiful, man.

Have you been away?

I was like yeah, that's
it, just that line.

And I always attribute
that to why I got cast.

It was my first movie,
and Richard's, and Paul's,

and Bruce's.

And so...

Nobody knew what the
fuck they were doing.

Suddenly I'm up a
hill with 80 people,

you know, not knowing
my ass from my elbow

as a film director.

I know Bruce got up on a
little stool on his first day

which was somewhere
in the Late District,

and said, "Hello,
I'm Bruce Robinson."

"I know nothing,
you all know about

"camera moves and lenses."

He said, "I'm not
gonna be one of those

"who walks around
going, you know,

"give me a 50, give
ma 35 on this."

He said, "I'm not
gonna do any of that,

"because I don't know."

"So any help you give me
will be gratefully received,

"thank you very much."

And everyone just
went like that,

and it was just the best
thing he could've done.

Which made everybody feel that

they were prat of a team.

Stop, please, please stop!

Please, stop.

Are you the farmer?

Shut up, I'll deal with this!

We've gone on
holiday by mistake.

We're in this cottage here.

Are you the farmer?

Stop saying that, Withnail.

Of course he's the
fucking farmer!

The thing about
making movies is that

no matter how good
the weather is to you,

how good the crew is,
how good the script is,

how good the actors
are, how good you are,

if you haven't got luck,
you're fucked, you know?

And "Withnail" is the
only thing I think

I've ever done in my
life where we had luck.

First day of filming
was on a Monday,

and the generator broke down,

so that was a delay.

Then Denis O'Brien,
one of the producers,

announced that we were
over-schedule already,

the title had to be changed.

It seemed like everything
that could go wrong

the first day was dooming us.

There's two of
them here, look.

I knew I was
getting what I wanted.

I absolutely knew that what
we were doing was right,

and here comes Denis, he hates
everything to do with it.

It just isn't funny,

"There's nothing funny in it."

He was awful to this film,

he thought it was funny
as bloody lung cancer,

you know, he hated
everything about it.

Then I said, "All
right, fuck it,

"get somebody else, I'm off."

You know, I do it the
way I'm gonna do it

or I'm not doing it,

what do you want me to do?

And I literally did
say "Where's the bus?"

And I nearly had a thrombosis.

I said, you can't,
I've told everybody.

"It's my only chance
to be in a film,

"I'll never be in
another in my whole life,

"I've told..."

'Cause it's his
only job since 1956.

And he said "Oh, just calm
down, I'm grandstanding."

So he called Denis
O'Brien's bluff on this.

Ray Cooper, who was up there,

got ahold of Denis, and
walked him round the block

on this mountainside.

It was muddy and sloshy
and everything else,

and I don't think Denis
was very comfortable

in that environment
particularly.

With George behind me,
I could stand my ground,

probably knowing that
Denis could've fired me

and then George would've
re-established me the next day.

And he came back
here and he said,

"Okay, okay, I'm off."

It immediately galvanized
us into a kind of

us against the bad
authoritarian ogre,

Denis O'Brien looming over you.

I must have some booze.

I demand to have some booze!

I wouldn't drink
that if I was you.

Why not, why not?

Because I don't advise it.

Even the wankers on the
site wouldn't drink that,

that's worse than meths.

Nonsense!

This is a far superior
drink to meths.

The wankers don't drink it

because they can't afford it.

Have we got anymore?

Liar, what's in your toolbox?

No, we have nothing.

Sit down.

Liar!

You've got antifreeze.

You bloody fool.

You should never
mix your drinks!

I knew that the film was
the story I had in my head,

and we couldn't get
a release on it.

And finally, they
did get a release,

and I think it only played
for a couple of weeks

and vanished, and that was it.

The whole cult thing of it

didn't happen for a good
10 years after release.

It was like the
mid-90s when it started

picking up steam, started
getting passed around colleges.

It became this film that
was a rites of passage.

You had to go to
university, get pissed,

eat a curry, and watch
"Withnail and I", you know?

Very weird.

I think Bruce has
immodestly thought

he's written a masterpiece,

and directed a masterpiece,

and I don't think
there's any change

in that sensibility
or viewpoint of his.

And people keep telling him so.

We went out one
night in London,

me and Bruce were
absolutely assholed drunk,

and we was out on the
pavement at one point

having a joint, and Bruce said,

"I don't care what
the fuckers do to us,

"we'll always have
"Withnail", Ralph!"

And he fucking meant it.

Because he kinda knew
that that was gonna be it.

You know?

And that he would then
have to have a career

for the next 25 years,

but that was gonna be it.

Yeah.

And what's
your ambition for HandMade now?

HandMade?

I don't have many
ambitions at all,

not for HandMade, not
for anything really.

I think ambition is something

you have to try and get rid of.

As time went on of course,

and the business got bigger,

we were moving into
transatlantic filmmaking.

Certainly, one
cannot make films today

without being aware of eventual

exploitation in
the United States.

And I don't
know if this didn't

have a lot to do with that.

George became uneasy
as it got bigger

because that wasn't
the philosophy.

They seemed to
go off the rails a bit.

They were pushing
into Hollywood without talent.

Without the ideas, or
the risks that they took.

It got too big, perhaps,

and really didn't
take George with it.

In my talks with him, I'd say,

"Well, we're doing
this in America."

And he would say, "Why?"

I said "Well, I don't
know actually, George.

"And I've read the script,

"and I really don't
know what we're doing,

"but there must be a
good reason for doing it,

"there must be a business
reason for doing it."

Which is actually not the
right reason to do it.

I think it only
makes good sense for us

to diversify our portfolio,

and to take on as many
different things as we can.

I think we can still
play a contribution

to the film business
by going to the States.

I mean, I think we
should be open enough,

and certainly
geographically open

to go wherever it
makes sense for us.

I tried to figure out a way

to do "Powwow Highway"
completely independently.

I put together pieces of money,

so I contacted HandMade, I got
a response from Denis O'Brien

to say they are very
interested in the project,

and meet him at the
Bel-Air Hotel next week

to discuss HandMade
making the movie.

And I went "Holy shit!".

♪ Well, it's all right ♪

♪ Riding around ♪

Island had "Checking Out",

but it got then
passed on to HandMade.

I guess the honeymoon
period of that

was meeting Denis and
being taken out to dinner,

and how HandMade could
best facilitate the film.

On the surface, "Powwow
Highway" is a story

about Buddy Red Bow gets
a call from his sister

who's been setup
in a marijuana bust

to come and get
her and her kids.

He and his buddy,
Philbert, who has a car,

travel down to Santa Fe and
manage to solve the problem.

Jeff Daniels
plays a junior exec

for Bonair, an airline company,

and a senior exec in that
company played by Allan Havey,

has a heart attack and dies.

This eventually released
the hypochondriac in Daniels

and he becomes convinced
that maybe he's next in line.

So, it's about panic attacks,

it's about what he goes through

and how that disrupts
the whole family.

The fact that it was
about two Native people

in a context which had
not been tackled before

made me very excited.

Well, I was astonished
when I read the script.

Stories like this just
don't get told very often,

especially back then.

You know, you're talking
close to 30 years ago.

In the United States, it
was kind of groundbreaking

in that way.

But a lot of people
seemed to be still surprised

at the exploitation that is like

the daily reality of people
who live on reserves, you know.

We were filming a
sequence in heaven,

the reception for heaven
we filmed at Union Station

in Los Angeles, and George
was there on that day.

And he said, "Ah, come on,
I want to be in the film,

"I want to be in the film."

So, there's this character
in the background

who is mopping the
floor, and that's George.

I don't think anybody...

And if they didn't know, they
wouldn't know it was George,

but he's in the shot.

I had not had any
contact with HandMade

during the shooting of the film.

They left us alone until we
got into the cutting room.

I don't remember
getting notes or anything

to tell me how to shoot
and make the film.

That only started when
we were cutting the film,

when we started editing.

Shortly before we got done,

producer Jan Wieringa got
a call from Denis O'Brien

to say, "You need to send
me a VHS copy of the film.

"I will sit down with my editor,

"and let you know what
changes you need to make."

So, a VHS copy was
shipped off to London,

and then we get notes back,

saying, with a list of all
the changes to be made.

There was a lot of discussion

that turned into arguments
that I had with Denis O'Brien.

He suggested the cut for a
particular scene or scenes,

and I said "I've tried that,
I don't think that works."

He would wag his finger.

And I said, "Well,
how do you know?"

He said, "Oh,
because I've cut it,

"and I know it works, and
that's what you should do."

And that's when I realized

he had his own cutting
room in London.

I looked at this thing,

and the first cut was like
so absurd and so wrong.

I called the producer
over and I said,

"Jan, I can't make this cut,

"it just doesn't
make any sense."

And we didn't get back to them,

he just assumed that this
was what would happen.

That led to a lot of conflict,

but I didn't involve
George in that.

I didn't want that to
spoil the friendship

that I had with George.

And it wasn't until one day

I got a phone call
from Denis O'Brien,

it was at least an hour
on the phone arguing,

a fiery argument with O'Brien,

that Olivia,
George's wife Olivia

overheard the conversation
at the end of the phone call.

She said, "What was
all that about?"

And I explained, and she said,

"Does George know about this?'

And I said, "No, she doesn't
know anything about this."

And she said, "Well,
George must know."

And she then told him.

So then we get a call to say

that Denis is coming to town,

and he wants to see the film.

Okay.

So, we're all kinda like, hm,

this is gonna be interesting.

And you know, set it up,

we went into this
screening room,

and lo and behold, you know,

Denis comes in,
followed by George,

and we sat down and George said,

"Well, let's take a look."

We rolled the film,
and I knew exactly

where all the places were,

and as we sort of got
to one of those places,

I sort you know, waited
for some response.

Nothing.

Got to another place, nothing.

And the film ended,

George immediately
started clapping,

he just sat in his
seat and clapped,

and his wife clapped,
and he got up,

and he turned to me and he said

"Great, don't change a thing."

And Denis, who was
sitting further down,

got up and just walked
out of the room.

You know, cold, out of the room.

Never heard from the guy again,

never saw the guy
again, that was it.

You know, I'm not
interested in telling

somebody what to do.

It's like, what's the point

of having a bass
player on a session

and then telling him what to do?

I'd rather keep
away from that side.

And that culminated
in a screening

of Denis's cut to
which George arrived

right on the end of an
awful emotional dilemma,

and he sat down next to
me before the screening.

He said, "I don't know
what to do about this.

"If this doesn't work,
it's gonna cost me

"at least a million."

And that was clearly as a result

of whatever
discussion or pressure

that had been put on
him by Denis O'Brien,

to get his cut of the film

as opposed to the
director's cut.

George actually said,

"I don't think it's as good,

"but I don't know
what else we can do."

You know, there's
always this battle

between the artists
and the money people,

and I don't particularly
like being the money.

The first thing
we did actually,

is we tried to get it
into Sundance, and we did,

it was accepted into Sundance.

And yeah, and then they
announced that the film

had won the Filmmaker's Trophy.

Sundance was great, and it
kind of put us on the map,

and then Denis sold the
film to Warner Brothers,

and they blew it.

Warner Brothers played
it for one week,

you know, obviously
in, I don't know,

some suburb of St.
Louis, Missouri,

nobody was gonna go
and watch the movie,

and then they pulled it.

When it was all
finished and locked,

Jeff Daniels summed it up.

He said, "Well, I think
we made a good film,

"you think we made a good film,

"but somewhere
between us making it,

"and them showing
it, it got fucked."

As it went on, and Denis
became more convinced

of his creative skills,

his creative skills were
financial, and legal.

They weren't creative in
what we did, artistic.

Denis, certainly, I know
he's got the wrong nature

to understand watching a film

over and over again.

One of the gifts
of being an editor

is if you can, remember
what was funny.

Because it's not funny
after the fifth of, or,

to me, or 500th viewing.

I remember, he
watched something,

he laughed all the
way through it.

Next time we ran it, I
had changed something,

and that was the only
place he laughed.

He was only interested
in what was new

that made him laugh.

In the early days,
there were discussions,

but they were
collaborative, everyone.

You know, Denis
could have a say,

or your ideas were
put onto a table,

and given a fair shake.

But then it becomes
this is what we want,

this is not a suggestion,

this is actually what we want.

I really don't
think that Denis

ever had a bad
intention, you know,

I just think he really
wanted to build a company.

None of this would've existed

if Denis wasn't around,

but maybe it went too far.

George didn't mind
if a film was a flop.

What he was unhappy with,

people that he had a
great deal of respect for

in the artistic world coming in,

and then sending them
out of the door unhappy

with their experience.

Because after all, I mean,
George and Denis were partners,

but it was George
Harrison, he was the name.

So
how would you account

for HandMade's success?

Has it been successful?

It's done all right, 10
years, George, 18 films.

I think that's the main
criteria for its success,

is the fact that
it's still here now.

But, you know, have a
look at my bank balance.

It's not really that successful.

These films were
costing too much,

and they're just
not going anywhere.

The key question was like,

how can you afford it?

How can you afford
making all these movies

and not making any
money back on them?

At some point, these
things implode.

All that we knew was
that HandMade needed

an injection of capital,

they needed a deal to put
them back on their feet.

As far as I'm concerned,

it's just the risk
that's involved,

the amount of money and
the nerveracking experience

of wondering if
you're ever gonna

be able to pay the bank back.

And if they were put
back on their feet,

then they needed to re-think
their creative strategy

in order to get
talent back on board.

Leading up to the 10th
anniversary party...

George was very unhappy
with the whole situation.

He wasn't very pleased,

he was showing
his disenchantment

with what was going on.

I don't see any big mystique

about the film
business, in fact,

I don't really think
the film business

is all it's cracked
up to be, really.

I've been asked to explain why

we're all here at Shepperton.

We're here, of
course, to celebrate

10 years of HandMade Films.

So many of you may
not be aware of it,

the real founder
of HandMade Films

is sadly not with us tonight.

I refer of course, to
Sir Bernard Delfont.

Known to his friends as "Sir".

Be it was, one spring
morning in 1978,

decided on an impulse to
read one of the scripts

this company was filming.

Something which
George has never done.

Anyway, Sir didn't
like what he read.

It was called "The
Life of Brian",

and he thought it blasphemous.

I was given the job
of making a speech

to celebrate 10 years
of HandMade Films,

and you know, you meet
so many interactions

within the company,
within the organization,

and the stresses and strains
were definitely there.

It was not an absolutely
easy to thing to do.

But to know that one
of the driving forces

behind the company
is someone who knows

all about the trials
and tribulations

of showbiz from the
artist's point of view,

is actually one of
the great attractions

of working for HandMade.

And then George's speech,

which I really thought that
was terrific, what he did.

Got my speech here.

Thank you all for
coming, now fuck off.

How shall we fuck off?

Oh, yes.

Just fuck off, I don't care,

just get out of here.

Anyway, I'd like to thank
all the staff you see,

because all the
cripples who work

in those little boxes
for tons of months.

When they get home,
Denis dances up and down

on their graveyard
singing "Hallelujah".

Especially Ray.

I think it was a wake.

I think it was a
wake, but it was fun,

it was a fun wake.

I'd like to thank the Pythons

for getting me
into all this mess,

another fine mess
you got me into.

But really, I love them so much,

they'd be embarrassed
if they ever realized.

It felt like the
end of something.

You know, feeling that
this was an elegy.

Very well, that'll be all,

and it's a pleasure to pretend
to be in the film business

in this stupid life.

The cartoon world
we're living in.

After the HandMade party,

everybody started seeing
the separation happening.

You know, George was not
enjoying himself anymore.

"Nuns on the Run"
was one last glimpse

of HandMade Films, you know, so.

Like, it was great to
be involved with a film

that actually was fun.

Just hold it up, is
that in the right place?

The idea of the plot is
that these two criminals

work for a gang when
they're stealing money

from a rival gang.

They decide instead of
giving it to the boss,

they're gonna go off
with it themselves.

It all misfires,
and then a chase,

and in a hail of bullets,

they run into the
nearest building

which turns out to be a convent.

They realize that if
they put on nun's habits

they can lie low,

as long as they can
get away with it.

♪ Hallelujah,
hallelujah, hallelujah ♪

And so I sent it to Eric,

and said would you like to
do this with Michael Palin?

Well, Eric said he would.

Michael Palin passed, but Eric
suggested Robbie Coltrane,

and I thought Robbie
was a brilliant idea,

and Robbie liked it,

so then we said what do we do

about getting us financed?

So, Eric said, "Well, I'll
give it to my friend George."

And I knew they were friends.

But you know, I'm friends
with lots of people,

but most of them won't
give me three million quid

if I ask for it.

And George said, "Yeah."

Explain the Trinity.

Well, it's a bit of a bugger.

It was a big
success in America

in terms of the critics,

and it would've been a
huge box office success

but for one thing that
nobody reckoned on.

We had a limited
opening for two weeks

and a few screens,
and amazing reviews.

And then they said,

"We're going to
expand it to a large

"number of screens next week."

And I said, "Oh great, what
are we competing against?"

They said, "Nothing,
nothing at all,

"there's just this
children's film called

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles",

"nobody's gonna go see that."

Unfortunately, everybody
went to see that.

It was a colossal hit.

So, we didn't do so
well when we expanded.

Let me try and summarize this.

God is his son,
and his son is God,

but his son moonlights
as a holy ghost,

a holy spirit, and a dove,

and they all sent each other,

even though they're all
one in the same thing.

Got it.

What?

You really could be a nun.

Thanks.

Wait a minute.

What I said, does that
make any sense to you?

Well, no.

No, and it makes no
sense to anybody.

That's why you
have to believe it,

that's why you
have to have faith.

I mean if it made sense,

it wouldn't have to be
a religion, would it?

"Nuns on the Run", yeah.

It was a nice film.

I suppose I'd look at it,

because it was the last film

I was involved in,

but it's the last film
that HandMade made

under George's regime.

I almost lost sense that
this was a HandMade film.

And it was a HandMade
film in the old sense,

but it didn't feel like it,

but it just was this cloud
over HandMade at that point.

It must've been
in the early 1990s,

I think George told
me that HandMade

was gonna be closed down.

The first thing I
say about HandMade

is it wasn't a failure,
it was a success,

which like all independent
production companies,

without exception,

there isn't a single
exception to this rule,

neither here nor in the States

that lives beyond
a certain lifespan.

10 or 11 years is
good enough, you know?

And I would say they
were successful.

They ran out of money,
they ran out of road.

Well, that happens
to all of them.

It would've
been nice to think

that we could've remained small.

That would've been the
perfect HandMade Films.

Making you know, one
or two films a year,

but gems that people would
put in their back pocket

and always want to
see again and again.

If you analyze the output
of HandMade over 11 years,

I think you would say that
the talent quotient decreased,

and the enterprise quotient
kind of had to increase,

and the fortunes of
the company suffered.

But at least films got made,

and I can't think
of any other period

in British filmmaking
which was quite so rich.

It's a kind of
signature, HandMade Films

to me was a signature,

this is gonna be quality stuff,

this is gonna be
interesting stuff.

It's gonna be breaking barriers.

George understood passion.

If he was here today,
and I wish he was,

he'd be listening
to your stories,

and if he thought that

you're absolutely
passionate about something,

your dream would come true,

he would make it come true.

Without HandMade,
very few of the films

that the all of us
here tonight have made

would ever have happened.

I ask you to raise your glasses,

or contact lenses
if you wear them.

Drink a toast to HandMade Films.

HandMade films.

Cheers, everybody.

Chin chin.

And that's it, really.

End of story.

My favorite HandMade
film and why...

Um...

"The Long Good Friday".

My favorite HandMade film?

"The Long Good Friday".

Because I love that Genre.

Start shooting us, Harold.

Oh, don't be silly.

When I come running for
you with me fingers.

My favorite HandMade film

is the first one they made,
"Life of Brian", I think.

What have the Romans
ever done for us?

World peace.

What?

Peace?

Oh, shut up!

I love "Mona Lisa",
I thought "Mona Lisa"

was absolutely wonderful.

Well, what do you do?

Melt it down and eat it?

No, they're
ornamental, George.

Ornamental spaghetti?

I loved "The
Long Good Friday",

and "Time Bandits".

Do you want to be
leader of this gang?

No!

We agreed no leader.

Right, so shut
up and do as I say.

"Private Function"
is the funniest

of the HandMade films.

I liked "Private Function".

I can put the hounds on
two turkeys in Bradford.

Two?

Two?

We have got 150 people coming,

and Jesus isn't one of them.

"Mona Lisa" I like,
because Bob Hoskins

is in that, wasn't he?

"Long Good Friday"
is my favorite,

and I loved the last shot

of Bob Hoskins driven off
to his impending death

at the hands of the IRA,

and it's probably
Bob's finest moment.

"Shanghai Surprise"
was one of the

worst things I've ever seen.

I mean, that was abomination.

And of course,
"Withnail and I".

I think it's "Withnail and I".

It's just absolutely
iconoclastically a brilliant movie.

I have a heart condition,

if you hit me, it's murder.

The performance
of Richard E. Grant,

and just everything
about "Withnail" actually

was just fantastic,

and it was a great movie.

I'm gonna be a star!

HandMade made that movie.

♪ So you take me, maybe, sure ♪