Amori miei (1978) - full transcript

Yes, I have.

Yes, but I already said that.

Yes, thank you.
Well, possibly.

Okay. See you soon.
Goodbye, thank you.

Damn ... Oh, Anna!

So ... Miss?

- Yes?
- Call my wife.

I tried, but the line is busy.

- Try again.
- Start with London?

No, my wife first!

Hello, pussycat, my love! How are you?



(In English) I beg your pardon?
But who is speaking?

(In English) I'm sorry Mr. Klein.
I thought I was talking to my wife.

(In English) Could you hold on a moment?
Just hold on.

- Hello. Who is this?
- Finally I can talk to you!

I've been cooking since this morning!
I've prepared a dinner with all the trimmings!

There is Peking roast duck,
chicken with fries, ...

Spaghetti carbonara ..
and then the cake!

You're very sweet,
but I have London on the line.

Don't hang up, please!
This is seventh time that I've called you!

Just a minute, wait.
Are you there, eh?

(English) A moment. Yes?

Hello? One moment, Miss, the sauce
will burn. For heaven's sake, eh?

Yes? Hello? Yes, I hear you!
Then, at 9:00 exactly!

I'll be waiting! I love you, Marco!
I'll be waiting ... I love you ...



# I'll wait and I love you,
I love you and I'll wait ... #

Ah, yes ...

A Message?

It's 03:00 at night.
It's laughable, I fall for it every time.

The cake and I have been
waiting up for you until now, ...

.. Then we collapsed.

Whatever you had to say, write it.
Tomorrow I'll read the piece in the newspaper.

Good night.

Dear? Handsome, are you awake?

Hey, Marco!

There it is ... He's already left.

- Cicciolona, meow, good morning.
- Cicciolona ... meow ... Good morning.

- Did you sleep well?
- Yes.

- Sorry, I have to leave for a moment.
- I figured that out.

But I'll be back.
Stop arranging the newspapers.

- There's a nice surprise for you.
- Where?

In the bedroom.

- No, no! Stop!
- Why?

A call from the newspaper.
I have to do an important interview.

I should swear.

- It's urgent.
- As usual.

Tonight I wanted to take you
to the theater! That was the surprise.

- You can go alone, then tell me about it.
- You know how I divert myself ...

- The tickets are on the table.
- Of course.

- Tomorrow is my Sunday of freedom.
- Thank goodness.

- We'll be together! I have so many things ...
- ... to tell you!

They've butchered my article.
It's shortened.

- Did you say something?
- No, why love?

No, nothing, I was hoping for it.
In the morning I can never see your face.

You look a bit pale today.

- Ah, it's your hands that are pale!
- As you wish, my love.

- Do you remember me?
- Yes.

- Hm ... You're welcome.
- I spend my life waiting for you!

You, you're either at the newspaper or write
the newspaper or think about the newspaper!

I don't live with a man,
I live with a newspaper! I'm bored!

Well, enough with this story!
If you get bored, find a job!

- You don't have twenty more years!
- Me?!
You aren't twenty any more!

How can you say "You don't have twenty
more years" to a woman who is only 35?

My mistake, I shouldn't have married
a man younger than me.

So then ... Only three months,
to be exact, 80 days!

Too many, because in 80 days you can go
... around the world, if you want!

I'm too busy for that.

Better to say that you have no time
to live with me, to love me!

- Say you don't love me anymore! - I love you,
but you don't have the time to notice!

Because you have too much time,
a sea of time! Any love would drown.

You have to find an interest,
an occupation!

But you're my occupation!
I'm a wife, don't you understand?

Since childhood, I was prepared
for this type of occupation!

- What time is it? - It's the only job
I can do and the only one that I like!

They had me playing with dolls
and I can't have children!

They taught me how to make sauces
and you don't ... What is it?

And you never eat!
What should I do? Cook for one?!

I'm tired, I just can't anymore,
I'm at the limit!

You don't need me
and I need you!

I feel like a bottle of wine
put on the table of a teetotaler!

I feel useless! There!

- Anna, what's wrong?
- You live for that newspaper!

You too, love. Can you tell me what
we would eat without this newspaper?

So we wouldn't eat the same. The few times
I'm with you, what do you talk about?

Sports, Taxes, home,
health, work, politics!

You never talk about anything
interesting, you never talk about us.

If you want me to feel more engaged,
take care of me more!

- I love you! Isn't that enough?
- Love is not enough.

Yes it is! Even for me it's too much!

Anna, I can't hold all of you.
Love me less! By half!

What do you mean "by half"?
You should say: "Double"!

You should say: "Again, again"!
(Unintelligible words)

- Answer me! - I didn't catch that.
Would you mind going back to 33 rpm?

And don't drop ashes
on the carpet!

But you look at this stuff!
I think about you all day!

Where are my things?
Get rid of these damn pillows!

By half!

Marco! What is he doing? He's gone?
He gets angry because I love him?

He had to make a scene
if I didn't love him.

Crazy stuff ... He says:
"Love me by half". But I can't.

Is it my fault if I'm full of love?
If there is only him in my head?

Look here ... A marriage in crisis
because of too much love! It's absurd!

My God, it's hard to live for two.

The fact is that we got married
without much preparation.

You study to become doctors
and engineers for years and years!

Anything to become husbands and wives?
Oh, no!

Talking about marriage,
We're a bunch of illiterates.

But now I'll study, I'll prepare myself,
until I know everything on the subject ...

And I will make my marriage ...
a masterpiece!

You liked the lesson!
You recorded it word for word.

It was very interesting.
That man knows everything.

This professor
is an authority on the subject.

'' Professor Antonio Bianchi,
Order of ...''

'' Ordinary''?
He seemed so distinguished to me.

To recapitulate: Couples
are divided into four types.

What precision!

You and me are the same as you;
you and me are the same as me; ...

.. You and me are the same as you and me,
that is, everyone thinks of themselves.

Fortunately that isn't my case, so ...

The fourth type, the ideal one,
that is, you and me equals us, ...

.. is a utopia,
it doesn't exist in reality.

Oh, no, there I disagree.

Good, when a woman agrees with me,
I'm always afraid I'm wrong.

- Oh, professor!
- Good morning! - Good morning!

Excuse me, but ... I believe ...
I really believe in marriage.

When two people love each other
they become one, right?

Why are you laughing?

This cynicism is just a great pose to me.

- I'm sure you're a great husband.
- I'm a bachelor, young lady.

- But how! With everything
you know about the marriage? - Exactly.

- What a waste!
- You see, Miss ... - Yes, right away.

Women are made
to be married, ...

While men ..
are made to remain bachelors.

- All evil comes from that.
- That's nonsense.

- But it's one of the happiest paradoxes!
- We're talking about a serious matter.

Dear Miss, the term
"Marriage" has no meaning in itself.

Marriage with whom?
When? Where? Why?

In Arabia a man can marry as many
women as his finances allow.

It's a hell. A man is not enough for
one woman, let alone two, three ...

- How true that is.
- However, Marriage works in Kurumba.

You know the customs and morals
of the Kurumbiani, don't you?

- Well, Kurumba ... - They are identical
to those of the Nagara and Dadaga.

Ah, now I see ... it escaped me.

If we lived in Malabar, then yes,
it would be worthwhile to get married.

Because, you see, in Malabar,
among the people of Kurumba ...

they practice Biandria.

- Er ... biandria? - Yes, it is from the greek:
'' Bi'','' two'','' andros'','' man''.

It's a kind of reverse bigamy:
a woman may marry two men.

- Excuse me, but ... does it work?
- Oh, perfectly, perfectly!

The woman is a being emotionally
much richer than a man.

So it can satisfy
all her emotional needs.

On the other hand, the man
finds a ... say, partner ...

To divide the responsibilities ..
and expenses that a wife entails.

In short, a perfect household.

And you think that here ...
this is possible?

- The biandria?
- Yes, the biandria.

It's a question of civilization, but I think
that sooner or later ... we'll get there.

Then, the crisis of the couple
will be resolved.

Well, Now, I apologize,
but unfortunately I have to leave.

- I greet you, dear lady ...
Miss ... ? - Ann ... Lisa.

- Lisa. - Lisa.
- Study, apply yourself. - Very well.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

Biandria ... it would solve
the crisis of couples ...

It's just a word! How?

Eh ... why not? Why not?

- Professor! Professor!
Excuse me, I wanted to say ... - Yes?

Well, now I'm fine.

The lessons of the professor
have solved all my problems.

To save my marriage, I have to
imitate the women of Kurumba.

I did that. Two months ago,
I married for the second time.

How, with whom?
With him, With the professor.

How sweet ... how he understands me ...
and how we love each other.

Yes, I'm a bigamist.
In fact, a biandrica.

I know you would like to ask me why I didn't
make him my lover like everyone else.

Why disapprove? Certainly, the husband
ignores the existence of a lover.

But the lover knows that her husband
exists and suffers from it. Very much so!

For me, lovers
have always had a penalty ...

I told both of them that I had found
a job at an advertising agency ...

.. and that I had to go to Milan
three times a week.

What a party when I get back! And so,
the beginning of a perfect life!

Varied, rich, without
lapses of boredom, without discussions!

Love full time!
Anna, three days with Marco.

Lisa, three days with Antonio.
And on the holidays? Alternating.

In short, a perfect system,
fair, impartial.

Maybe because I'm a Libra ...

Oh ... Oh dear ... again ...

If you were not sure
I can't have children, ...

these Would be ..
the classic symptoms of a ...

However, for the sake of caution,
I had testing done.

Let's hear what the doctor says.

Yes .. God forbid ...
it would be nice!

Hello? Good morning, doctor,
it's me. What did the frog say?

What? Mama?
I'll be a Mama? I'll have a baby?

So, I'll be mom and he pa ...

...pa? Which one?

Hello, doctor, no, I can't
have children, it's not possible.

It's too complicated.
Not a chance.

Yes, I'm married, I'm very married.
You have no idea how married I am.

But ...
Thanks for the good wishes.

'' A thousand greetings to the future dad.''
Of course, I'll present it. I'll make two of 500.
??

Ah, I'd be the one that couldn't have children.
Go and trust the doctors.

What a mess ... Oh dear ...
But whose will it be?

If you can't establish
who the father is, ...

.. You can try to find out
who is not.

I have to convince both
to have an examination.

If one turns out not to be fertile,
I will be sure that the child is not his.

And I'll leave him.

I will sacrifice half of my life
to give my son his real father.

- Darling?
- Yes?

What are you reading?

'' Every natural phenomenon
has a cause.''

'' To explore this question, we must
isolate it by removing the pseudo-causes.''

- It was written by a gynecologist?
- Yes .. No, he's a philosopher. - Ah!

- What gynecologist! - You know, I was
reading an article by a gynecologist.

He thinks that today there are
simple methods ...

To find out if a man ..
can procreate or not.

- Indeed? - They make an analysis of
blood, just a pinprick on your finger.

- Presto, everything is clear.
- Behold the progress of science.

- Why don't you do it?
- What? - The... pinprick.

- Why, do you want to have a child?
- No, I want to know why I don't have one.

Isn't isolating the cause of the phenomena
the goal of knowledge?

- Quite right, of course.
- Well?

- Are you sure that it's just a
... pinprick? - Yes, I swear.

Oh, well, ... okay.

It's useless! So, do you know what
this analysis consists of?

- What will it take?
- No, no, I'm sorry!

It's been years since I've been for ...
a visit. No, I won't do it.

- Just once! What will it cost?
- Don't press me! I said no and that's it!

I hate exams, I'm not a kid anymore!
I've lost my touch!

No, no, I won't do it.

Take heart, we too were once teenagers.

Yes, but I had a good-hearted chambermaid.

Look, it's 09:00.
Aren't you late to the newspaper?

- It doesn't matter. - I'm happy
that you remain with me while you're busy.

But I wouldn't have neglected work
just to keep me company.

- I need to talk to you. - I'm listening.
- How long have I not been enough for you anymore?

I thought my love was
enough to make you happy, ...

that you didn't need ..
someone else to love.

- So you know? You understand everything?
- It didn't take much, did it?

- Let me explain.
- There's nothing to explain.

But yes, because you don't know
what Antonio means to me.

Have you even already chosen the name?

I'm sorry, but there won't be any
little Antonio in our lives.

Anna, it's my fault, I can't
have children. I took the test.

Ah ... so the test!

Yes, the test. But what are you doing?
If you knew what an experience it was!

- So it's you that can't.
- Oh, yes. - Are you ...

Until today, we believed
it was your fault, but ...

Will you continue to love me all the same?

- Don't do that. - Darling ...
- So far we've done without.

- We don't need a kid at our feet
to be happy, do we? - Yes.

- Okay? - Yes - I'm going to the paper,
I'll be back at 20:00 o'clock on the dot!

Put on your Sunday dress, I'll take you
to dinner at a very expensive restaurant!

- Marco! - Yes?
- Marco ... Marco ...

- Don't forget.
- No. I won't forget.

At 20:00 precisely, I'll be home.

My love!

What will I do without you?
Yet I have to leave you.

If you told me that you couldn't have children,
I would take the pill, right?

Marco ...
Here, first of all, sit down.

Now pour some whiskey.
Generous, yes, that's better.

There's the ice and ... drink.
Again.

I need to talk to you.
Are you ready? All right.

I ... I'm leaving you.

I wouldn't want that!

I'm leaving forever.
I don't love you anymore.

Not true!

Because there is another man
in my life.

It's not as though you're jealous ...

Please don't look for me,
because it would be useless.

I'm sorry, but it's stronger than me, and ...

I love you my sweet!

I have nothing else to say.

Goodbye.

- Is that you?
- Yes.

- My darling, how nice! You're back
earlier than expected, huh? - Yes.

- I adore you! - Me too.
By the way, I have to tell you something.

- Me too!
- You first! - You first!

- Is it good or bad?
- Good. And yours? - Good. Tell me.

- Do you know that test to determine on who it
depends on not being able to have children? - Yes.

- By the way, the story of the finger
was a lie. - Yes, I'm sorry.

Science hasn't made much progress
in this field. It was an experience ...

- Unpleasant, I know.
- Let it go. So ... - Yes.

I finally got the results today.

Certainly, I guessed it.
In fact, I know for sure.

But of course! It was logical!
I'm not able to have them!

- Of course, it's logical.
- Eh!

What? You can't ...
Oh, no! Because I've ...

- Lisa, why are you doing that?
- One moment. Explain it to me.

I can't have children,
there's no danger, I'm sterile.

- What are you saying?
- That you're perfect!

You can have more children than a queen bee,
it's me that can't!

- What, you can't? Then ...
- Think of the luck!

- Do You know what it means to have a child
these days? - Yes, but ...

- You have before you the ideal lover!
- Wait, Let's not make kids!

Exactly, don't make them!
Isn't that a good thing?

I'm sure you're lying!

Do you think I would lie
on such a sensitive subject?

- I'm sure! Do you understand?
- How are you sure?

Oh, yes! I tell you, I'm sure!
What do you mean "sure"?

But then, if you're sure,
it means that ... Hm?

I'm expecting a baby. Well, that's it.

Oh ...

Why did you tell me
those lies?

I was sure that you weren't able to have them
and I didn't want to humiliate you.

I always thought that for a woman
infertility was a disability.

- So, I took the responsibility.
- My sweet, my sweet!

But no! Any man would tell the same lie.

What? Any man?

Yes, any man who
deeply loved his wife.

- Any ... ? Oh my God! - What is it?
- Are you sure that any ...

- Forgive me, I remembered something
terrible, I have to go! - My love.

- We'll talk later! It's something
at work! Excuse me, bye! - Lisa!

Anna?

Anna?

Marco ...
Here, first of all, sit down.

Now pour some whiskey.
Generous, yes, that's better.

- Are you ready?
- Yes.

- I need to talk to you.
- Speak.

Oh dear ...

What's going on?

Huh? So what is it?

Do you want tell me what happened or not?

- Why?
- Excuse me, will you let me hear it?

What's the use?
I'm here now.

What did you want to tell me?

Confess that you think a woman feels
crippled if she can't have children.

- That's it!
- No, not at all.

On the contrary, yes! That's why
you've taken all the responsibility.

- You lied!
- Me? - Yes!

So, I would be ... a liar.

Yes. Do you want proof?
I'm expecting a baby.

- No! - Yes!
- So then I'll be a father! - Yes!

- And you a mom!
- And you a dad! - My love!

Time passes ...

Difficulties grow ...
the problem grows ...

Here, everything grows.

I have to let them know,
I'm sure they would become friends.

They are two men so ... exceptional.

They can't fail to like each other,
not ... not sympathize.

Once they're friends, I will explain
to them I did it for our own good.

And all three together ...
all four ...

We will seek a solution to the problem,
civilly, affectionately!

Marco, I pray you, hurry!
Ah, thank you.

- How nervous you are! - Who, me?
- Eh! - It 's the excitement of the trip.

Are you sure you don't want to travel
ahead of this friend of yours ...

- Lisa? - Eh! - No, no.
- If you want I'll change places.

We have more chance to rest
travelling in two separate cars.

Then maybe I'll fall asleep. We'll have time
to chat in Salsomaggiore.

- What did you say your friend's name is?
- Lisa!

Ah ... Strange, until last night
I had never heard of her.

But yes! It's just that you never listen to me
when I talk to you about my job.

- Lisa is a colleague of mine.
- But you carry out the same tasks?

- Identical!
- Ah ...

- Love, would you bring me a newspaper?
Ok? Thank you! - Okay, I'm going.

- Darling! I'm here!
- Ah! I was looking for you!

- Hello, Lisa! - Darling ...
- Are you alone? - Yes, why?

- And the pain in the neck?
- Anna! She has a seat in another carriage!

- Ah ...
- Why, pain in the neck?

It seems to me that asking your husband
to keep company while you're away ...

- What's his name?
- Marco. You know, it's my fault.

I talked so much about you that
she wants you to become friends!

- You and my husband ... Her husband.
- Ah ...

- Will you buy me a newspaper?
- Yes, a newspaper.

Here I am!
Here.

- Thank you. - What is this husband like
that I have to cart around?

Great, according to his wife.

- Oh yes? Its a nice break for this Lisa!
- Why a break?

- Well, I'm saddled with the professor!
- Ah ... I have a craving for chocolates!

A craving? I come and I go!

Here it is. I bought you this,
because I think that ...

- Thank you, love. Remember
to call this Marco. - I promise.

I believe he's blondish, with a
white T-shirt and a Saharan jacket.

Oh, Madonna ... Okay ...

- Just a moment! - Yes, not at all!
- Wait a moment!

Marco! Ah, how nice!

- One for you and one for your friend.
- Thank you, darling.

Remember your promise.
Maybe you should invite him for a drink.

- The professor? I just hope I recognize him.
- It's impossible not to.

He's a very distinguished type:
double-breasted suit, tie and a white panama.

- Good heavens ...
- Don't stew over it.

- Love, Goodbye!
- Bye, love! Take care!

- Call me, eh?
- Goodbye!

- Here! Chocolates for you and
your friend. - Again? - What else?

I wanted to say thanks again! I'm sorry,
I feel a little upset. Goodbye!

Goodbye! Have fun!

- You're the husband of ... - Lisa,
and you're the husband of ... - Anna.

- Anna, exactly. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

My wife is very fond of yours.

And my wife.
All she does is talk about Lisa.

It's rare to find two women
such good friends.

Working at the same company ...

Perhaps expecting the first child
at the same time keeps them together a lot.

- All four of us have
something in common. - Yes - Oh, yes.

- Do we want to celebrate? - Huh?
- No, I mean, can I get you anything?

- Ah, yes, gladly, you're very kind.
- Please. - Thank you.

- Sit down, sir, please.
- Thank you.

A curious ignition system.

- It's pleasant, isn't it?
- May I? - Please.

Excuse me ...

- You know, it's a bit delicate.
Sit down, in the meantime. - Thank you.

Haven't the two of us met before?

- I had the same impression.
- Is that so? At the dentist!

No. ... Maybe ...
visiting the recruitment office.

Flattering, but it's not possible.

Yet I have the impression
of some ordeal ...

that the two of us .. addressed
together in the past.

As a young boy, did you happen to be ...
a Boy Scout of Valte?

- No, that Musketeer stuff ...
- Yes. - Thank you. But it will come to mind.

- Sure.
- What's this?

- It's a chair. Try it,
it's very comfortable. - You say?

- I made it myself.
- Bravo! Let's see.

It was easy. I bought one of those
kits for amateur woodworkers.

You know the ones with: "Do it yourself."

That's where we met!

But you're the one with the good-hearted
chambermaid! The one with the finger!

Oh! Professor!

When will you stop
doing things yourself?

You're right, I'm sorry!
I'm sorry, you're right.

- Skilled labor is much better.
- Will you admit it? - Yes.

- But you're married?
- Professor, how else would it be?

What a beast! I forgot
because we're together!

Tell me one thing: how is your wife?

Tall, very young, simple ...
A beautiful girl. And yours?

Well, mine is not very tall
and not very young either.

Complicated,
but, an interesting woman.

I'm glad that Lisa has an older friend
to be her guide.

- A woman full of experience.
- Well, experienced ... I don't believe that.

Anna is naive, you know?
I want to confide in you.

When I married her ...
she wasn't much younger, eh?

- She was a virgin.
- Whew! To be honest, mine wasn't.

Not that it's something important,
But I have to admit that ...

I may be a troglodyte, but it must be
a very exciting experience.

- Well ...
- Eh?

It's like being the first man on the Moon!
I wasn't so lucky.

Nothing wrong with that. Then, why
shouldn't a woman have her experiences?

Experiences ... only one, and with one
that must have been a wimp.

I had to teach her everything myself.

It is known that, in this respect,
women mature a bit late.

My wife has become complete
as a lover recently.

- We are two lucky men!
- Yes, but even our wives ...

Nothing is missing from our wives,
they have everything we need.

- This calls for another toast
to our wives. - To our wives!

Excuse me.

Hello? Anna! Love!
It's Anna.

- I'm here with Antonio.
- Ah, he's there.

- Did you have a good trip?
- Magnificent!

You were quite right,
he's very nice.

What did I tell you?
And what are you talking about?

- Of you, of course.
- Ask her if Lisa is there with her.

- Is Lisa there with you?
- Yes, of course, we sleep together.

Put her on, I'd like to say hello
before she talks with Antonio.

Ah, yes.
(with a nasal voice) Hello?

- Have you had a good trip?
- Wonderful.

Now I'll pass you to your husband.
She has a cold.

- Hello, Lisa, how are you?
- Very well, my darling.

- She doesn't have a cold.
- She has a nasal voice ...

- I'm here with Marco. - It seems to me
an inevitable consequence.

- Pardon?
- No, nothing. What are you going to do now?

I think I'll go home.

I don't want to abuse the hospitality
of this nice Marco.

No, Antonio, stay a little bit longer.
Talk to him.

Anna begs you to stay.

- Thank you, Ma'am! I'll pass you
to your husband! - Love?

Just a moment,
I'll pass it to her.

- Sorry, I thought it was Anna.
- Wait.

- Thank you. I think it's a cold.
- It's not a cold!

- She always talks like that?
- Of course!

- Hello, love.
- Hello. Take care of yourself.

- Yes.
- Be a good girl, I recommend it.

Be careful not to catch a cold
from your friend. To me it's a cold.

- I'll give you a big kiss. Bye.
- Me too!

- They were nice to call when they arrived.
- We weren't worried.

We're not sitting at home
like two idiots waiting.

We had no intention
to go out, it seems.

It isn't as though it's forbidden
to change our mind.

I'll leave, I understand
that you have some commitment.

- Nothing is less demanding than Deborah.
- Exactly. Who is that?

She's a pretty little thing.

I go out with her every now and then,
but without commitment. will you phone me?

- Good night, have fun.
- Don't be like that!

I am not such a jerk,
I wanted to invite you to the party.

- What? - Where there is something
for one, there is something for two.

I have never shared even a cigarette
with anyone. Let alone a woman.

Well I'll leave it entirely to you.
I do it willingly.

Marco, you're a very nice and kind host.

However, at the cost of appearing stupid,
I have a confession to make.

- Tell me. - Since I married
I've never cheated on my wife.

Take me around as well, but for me
it's like this: marriage is a serious matter.

Yes, Professor, bravo.

When a man and a woman come together,
they become one person.

Which one? In your case,
the person eliminated is you.

I too occasionally have some
small temptation, but I resist.

That's bad. You have to give in immediately
to temptation, otherwise they will pass.

- In short, betrayal is repugnant to me.
- Me too. That's disgusting.

But do you call "betrayal" an hour
of unpretentious recreation with a nice girl?

- It's an escapade.
- A matter of perception. - Who will see us?

- Excuse me much. Also call your Jessica.
- No, Deborah.

Call whoever you want,
I'm for faithfulness.

Faithfulness!
An itch that you can't scratch.

Spare me your chocolate candy aphorisms ...

- Excuse me, professor. You're right,
no escapades. - That's it.

But I won't let you go like this.
We'll have another drink? Eh?

If you want ...

- You also have a theater, eh?
- I want to show you something.

Not to contradict you, but more marriages
are saved by escapades ...

.. than marriage counselors.

- A questionable opinion.
- Hm-hm.

There.

- And who is this?
- The escapade: Deborah.

So ... she's a remarkable specimen,
I have to admit.

Just admit it?
You should meet her!

Without being obliged to have
intimate relations with her, huh?

Obliged ... God forbid.

What are you?
A Professor of psychology?

Knowing a girl
with the character of Deborah ...

Might be of interest to you ..
from the scientific point of view.

Yes.

Professor, Call!

- No ... no ... maybe ...
- Come on, come on!

Let's ask her to bring a friend,
so we'll have a few laughs.

- Only four, eh? Laughter ...
- Yes, yes ...

Hello? Deborah?
Look, can you come at once?

You're making photographs?
But who cares? Come as you are.

Can you bring a friend?
No, what did you think, little pig!

It's not a threesome, it's for a friend.
Wait a minute, I'll ask.

- Do you prefer blonde or brunette?
- I'm not a racist.

He's not a racist! We're waiting for you.
Come on, hurry up, eh? Thank you.

- Professor!
- Yes? - Take off your clothes!

You don't want to be found
dressed like that. You frighten me.

Take off your tie.

But who are these loves of mine?
Who? They're here ... here ...

- Here I am. How do I look?
- You're great, but you'll be better later.

- Champagne! - Champagne! Where is it?
- In the refrigerator. - Of course!

- I'll fix the lights!
- The lights!

- Perfect.
- Come on.

- You didn't know that.
- No.

- Here she is ...
- Yes.

- Hello! - Deborah!
- Hello! - What! Are you alone?

With so many husbands left alone in the city
my friends have a their hands full.

So then I came alone.
I said to myself: "Maybe I'm enough." No?

No, no, I see that you're not sorry.

- Jessica!
- Oh no! Deborah, Professor!

Ah, yes, Deborah, Jessica ...

Come on, Professor! I like you like that!

Come on, Barbara!

- Carpe diem!
- A foreigner?

Eh ... mah!

- Marco?
- Pardon? What did you say, I'm sorry?

No. .. I said ... it's Marco's ...

It's definitely Marco
who gave you that shirt.

You guessed it!
Marco just gave it to me.

- Welcome back, love! I missed you!
- So you've become friends.

I would say so.
He's nice, that Marco.

This is my new hobby: I'm
trying to assemble this chair, ...

They say it's.. relaxing, soothing,
but it only gets on my nerves.

Excuse me a moment, give it to me.
There you are.

- Bravo! - It 's as if I've
always seen this chair.

So Anna was lucky
to meet a husband like Marco.

- Why, aren't you lucky?
- Me too, to the same extent.

Even more, and it is right,
because you're worth a million Anne's!

- How can you tell?
- From some speeches made by Marco.

Because this Anna,
let's face it, ...

As a friend .. is also delightful, too,
but as a wife she's not good, no?

- Marco told you that?
- No, for heaven's sake! - Oh, he didn't?

From what I understand,
Marco deserves something better.

Look, you've got it wrong,
Marco is madly in love with Anna!

He showers her with gifts,
is full of attention ...

For Marco, it's as though all the other women
don't exist. He doesn't see them!

In five years of marriage
he's never wronged her!

Well, that's right ...

- What do you mean "that's right"?
- No, nothing, nothing ... - No, come on!

If Marco told you some
confidence, he told you something ...

You can tell me, can't you?
At least, to me ...

- Promise me you won't say a word
to your friend Anna? - I swear!

I would not want to make
a confidence to you, ipso facto ...

.. should that friend of yours
come to know it.

- Oh for heaven's sake!
- Agreed? - Of course.

No, it's nothing, then, Marco ...

That boy ... He's nice, eh?
Of course he ...

After all, he has a reason, he's young,
it's a thing of no importance.

- What thing? - No, nothing.
- No, come on! - I not going to say anything.

You've already started!
Come on, tell me.

If you don't tell me,
I'll break your head.

All right. It's nothing, he has a girlfriend,
a certain Deborah.

I recommend, keep it to yourself, eh?

I don't believe it. He told you
a lie to brag about.

He made fun of you!
Of course he made fun of you!

He .. wanted to have a few laughs
behind your back.

Look I saw her with my own eyes,
she came here, to his home.

- To his home? - Eh!
- What kind of name is Deborah?

Deborah! What is it?
Scottish? Exotic?

- The heir of Deborah Kerr?
- What's the matter with you?

- Is this person named Deborah a relative
of Deborah Kerr? - What's the matter?

I doesn't matter anything to me, its just that
one all of a sudden comes to find out ...

That .. the husband of her best
friend cheats on her shamefully ...

With a filthy disgusting person ..,
who is also called Deborah ...

- You must admit that it can cause
a stomach ache. - But to whom? - To me!

- But why? - Because Anna is my
best friend. - Lisa, don't exaggerate.

If you take it like that for a friend,
What would you do if you were the victim?

The victim, you said it!
You don't know her! She doesn't deserve it!

- Look, this Deborah ...
- Don't mention her!

- This woman ...
- Yes, this woman ... - Pardon me.

- That one. The unmentionable.
- Better.

It doesn't matter to Marco.
It's just an innocent escapade.

Ah ... What would you say if I too
indulged in an innocent escapade?

- What the hell do you have to do with it?!
- Me, Anna, a wife, in short!

It would be different
for a woman, more serious.

- Definitely more tidy.
- Exactly, more serious.

Yes, yes ... It's the same old story:
the man can cheat, the woman no.

- Why didn't you stop him?
- Who? Me? What ...

When he told you that he was going out with her
you had to say, "No, you're not going."

"Don't you think of your wife? Don't you think
you're offending that poor angel?''.

I would have looked like an idiot!

- After all, what do I care about
the poor angel? - You should give a damn lot.

- But I don't even know her!
- But you do know her! - How?

- You don't know!
- Oh, I don't know! - No!

But that is no reason
to be complicit in an infamy!

Enough, I'm exhausted.

On the other hand, you forced me
to spend my precious time ...

With your husband's friend,
whose horns do not concern me.

And you do not have to ...

- Come, my love, perhaps it's your
condition that makes you nervous. - No. ..

Stay calm, Anna doesn't run
any risk, Marco loves her.

Deborah, in short, the little girl,
is a simple fling.

Little girl? Why? How old is she?

- I don't know, well, 21, 22 ...
- 21 or 22? There is a big difference!

Do you think Anna is less attractive
than that 22 year old idiot?

Anna is a charming woman, you know.

She has hair like silk, a sweet smile,
tender eyes ...

She's also intelligent and sensitive.
She could cry seeing a sunset.

And she's very sexy! Men turn around,
when she passes on the street.

She could make anyone lose their head
if she wanted to!

- I didn't know ...
- Well, now you know!

I imagined her instead
elderly, gray, a little off ...

- She 's young, colorful
and sparkling! - However!

- Marco was her first man,
her first love! - I knew that.

- How many men can say the same?
- Few. - That's right.

Do you think that ... Marco married
the best of women?

- You must really love this friend of yours.
- Yes, because she deserves it.

So the only solution is not to tell her
anything. Do you promise?

- Why don't you answer?
- Because she knows so much already.

- How does she know?
- She's a woman, feminine intuition ...

- How do you know? - I'm a woman
and I sensed it, didn't I? Think!

No, I think you're wrong. However,
the important thing is that you don't say anything.

Also because there's nothing to say!
You see, darling, it's different for a man.

A short sexual vacation now and then
is healthy. Necessary, I would say.

It does not affect in the least
his love for his woman.

How is it that you don't feel the need
for this type of vacation?

What does it matter? I'm different,
older. Maybe I'm an exception.

Look, for Marco these things are
without any importance.

How convenient! So then, if they're
unimportant, why does he do them?

If you were a man, you would understand.

If you were a man,
I would not need to understand.

It would be enough to impose
the law of the strongest.

- Who can that be?
- I don't know.

- Are you waiting for somebody?
- No, I'm not really expecting anyone.

- You get it, I'm going to clean up.
- Very well, go.

I'm coming! I'm coming!

- How was your evening with Deborah?
You must tell me everything! - Ssh!

- Is she still here? - Lisa, you know
who came to see us? Marco!

Your wife is back? Then
mine came back too. Ask her.

- Lisa, is Anna back?
- She's back.

She still has a cold, eh?
Well, I'll leave.

No, wait, I'll want to introduce you.

Lisa, hurry up, Marco mustn't leave without
greeting you. Sit down, she's coming now.

Where is she?

Oh, if you only knew ...

Here she comes.

Excuse me, but I'm making myself beautiful.
It's a beauty mask.

Er ... my wife. This is Marco.

- A pleasure.
- A pleasure!

- Excuse me.
- Please, please.

She's nice. No, I mean ...
she must be usually.

- Oh, well, ...
- Excuse me, I'll go. - Good night.

Ah, since your wife is back ...

I don't know if you accompanied Deborah
home last night or ...

- Well ... - In the event it was "or"
be careful, it's dangerous.

Clues, traces will be left around,
like Tom Thumb.

Clothing, perfume,
shoes, all kinds of things ...

- Check and sniff around, eh? Goodbye.
- Goodbye. - Madam, I'm leaving!

She's nice.

- Am I more presentable?
- At first I thought for a moment ...

That beauty mask is wonderful:
not a trace of tears.

- I have to apologize for that
stupid scene earlier. - It doesn't matter.

In the confusion, I forgot to tell you
that I have to go to an emergency in Milan.

They've called me in to headquarters.
Forgive me, my love.

But no! You've just come back
and already you're leaving?

Won't it be too much exertion,
in your condition?

- No, it doesn't matter. Also I've decided
that this is the last time. - Huh?

I resign,
I'll stop making the commute.

From now on, we'll always
be together, just you and me!

- How beautiful!
- Are you happy? - Yes, of course.

- See you tomorrow. - Take care.
- Bye. - Goodbye.

A black hair?
Deborah, I could kill you, you know?

Let me smell. The usual perfume
that never goes away!

Did we leave glasses under the table?
Maybe with lipstick stains!

Who is it? Anna!
What, you're back already?

- What a lovely surprise! Ouch!
- Not enough.

- What did you say?
- I would have preferred to surprise you more.

I spoke on the phone with Lisa.
She told me that you were there.

You could expect that
I was going to arrive.

Yes, I went to say hell to Antonio.
You were right, he's very nice.

I never thought about connecting
with a middle-aged professor.

- We made good company.
- Too bad you started late.

- Huh? - To prefer good to bad company!
- What are you saying?

Only that Lisa is lucky
to have a husband like Antonio!

- And you, then? Aren't you lucky?
- More than Lisa?

Much more than Lisa! it's only right,
you're more beautiful and deserve more than Lisa.

Incidentally, I saw her.
She's a disaster, poor thing.

How can you tell if you saw her with
a beauty mask on her face?

How do you know that I saw her with
beauty mask on her face?

- She told me by phone.
- Oh yes? - Of course.

Beauty Mask or not, you can see
that she is very much in her later years.

I never heard of using more unhappy expressions
about the age of people!

Of course, since Antonio
is a middle-aged man, ...

Lisa is .. in her later years!

- These expressions are commonly used.
- Not in regards to Lisa!

Lisa, if you must know, is the
same age as me and is as tall as me!

Much shorter and much older,
or, if you prefer, slightly less ...

- I like this, yes, yes, I like this.
- It's mine, eh?

However, your opinion doesn't matter:
Antonio is madly in love with Lisa.

To him, Lisa is the youngest
and most beautiful woman in the world!

He wouldn't even dream
of looking at another woman!

Who cares?
I don't argue about tastes.

Unless they're like yours:
questionable.

- Questionable? - No, I was wrong,
I meant to say disgusting.

You know that I ... I don't understand?

Names, for example:
you like pretentious names, ...

Affected .., strange,
falsely exotic, isn't that right?

- Er ... you're mistaken. - Oh, I'm wrong?
- Yes, you're wrong. - Hopefully.

For example:
I married you and your name is Anna.

- But you never liked it.
- No? - No!

- I love it instead,
because it's a sweet name. - Are you sure?

- It's a name ... classic.
- Well, how do you say ... ordinary, right?

- An ideal name for a wife.
- Oh, yes.

Just as the perfect name
for a whore is ... Deborah!

Deborah? The name for a whore ...
That's a good one!

That's not bad. If we have a daughter,
I propose to call her: Deborah.

- Deborah ... I've never known
someone named that. - No? - No.

- You've never met anyone
with the name Deborah. - No.

Where is it? Where did I put it?
Have you seen my shoe?

- No. What was it like? - Like this one
I have on my foot, no? - Yes, of course.

- I took it off a little while ago, on the couch.
- You had it when you came in?

Sure, I came from Salsomaggiore
with only one shoe like this!

- A moment of inattention ...
- A shoe can't fly out the window!

I've never seen a shoe
flying out the window!

I don't care! A flying shoe won't
distract us from the discussion.

- Why? We were discussing?
- Yes! - What about?

- Deborah. - If you don't like it,
we can choose a different name.

No, Deborah goes well with you,
Anna is not doing well.

I'm leaving, Marco, I leave you
to your lies, your betrayal, ...

... to your cheap strippers!

Disgusting pig! He blurted it all,
after what I've done for him!

- Are you talking about Antonio?
- Who else, if not him! - Don't you dare!

Even on top of a ladder
you wouldn't be able to tie his shoes.

I commend him to you, this Pharisee!

It may well be that he isn't the easy type
for adventures, but do you know why?

Because he loves his wife!

Because he's full of inhibitions!
A twisted intellectual!

He despises a healthy adventure
without complications, ...

he has to make it ..
a sentimental little story!

Because he's a serious and sensitive man.

Then you consider "betrayal"
the physical act, eh?

You have a curious scale of values,
however, if you must know ...

Last night .. I only drank
a whiskey with Antonio and Deborah!

- If you don't believe me,
ask the snitch. - Of course.

Because as soon as he left,
you continued to drink and that's it.

- With that one there! - That one there,
Deborah, left with Antonio.

Antonio accompanied her home?

The snitch didn't mention that detail ...

.. to his beloved wife,
your friend, but it's so.

They went out together and,
from the way he looked at her ...

I don't think he limited himself
to giving her a ride.

unless for "a ride"
one doesn't intend to ... "ride".
(double meaning of "passaggio" unclear)

- That's mean on your part.
- Oh yeah? - Yes!

Trying to raise yourself in my estimation
by lowering others.

Because I'm sure that Antonio
accompanied the girl home ...

Without wasting a moment ..!

I can just imagine, the poor professor!

How uncomfortable he must have felt
next to a girl like that!

- He wouldn't even try to strike up
a conversation. - No, that ...

I think you're right,
he wouldn't have tried at all.

Deborah doesn't arouses desire
for conversation with men.

With her words are useless.
Deborah arouses silences, several moans.

You're vile,
but it's a relief to listen to you talk.

So I will have no regrets.
Because, it's clear: I'm leaving.

- And the baby?
- Comes with me!

Would you break up
our marriage for a fling?

Just because I was with a girl
that I don't care about!

That's what makes you so foreigh
and disgusting: your cynicism!

Because if you were in love,
I would understand, I would try to help you.

- I would feel closer to you.
- Just words. - I'd have a man in front of me!

Not a vulgarian that abandons himself
to his animal instincts!

- Is that what you think? - Yes!
- Then get out! - Yes! - No!

- I'm leaving myself!
- Then go away, but the worse for you!

- Worse for me?! Worse for you!
- Worse for me?! Worse for you!

Worse for me!
Better for me!

- Hello, is Marco home?
- No, my husband isn't here.

- Anna! It's you!
- Who is it?

It's Professor Antonio Bianchi!
What a pleasant surprise!

I wasn't expecting such luck.
Perhaps I'm disturbing you?

No, you're not bothering me
at all, professor. In fact, I'm glad.

You're really glad?
Okay, but don't call me "professor"!

What are these formalities?
It's so cold! Call me Tony!

- Tony! - Why? Don't you like it?
There's another girl who calls me that.

I find it more cheerful than Antonio.

- I prefer Antonio!
- Say that again, please.

No, I ...
I prefer Antonio.

I liked how you said that, Anna.

Yes, you have a sweet name,
a name that glides over the skin, ...

.. that caresses ...

And . .. Deborah?
Doesn't that glide over the skin?

Oh ... no ... Eh? I don't understand.

Deborah? What is that? Scottish?
Exotic? A relative of Deborah Kerr?

How amusing!

Look, if you're doing this in order to defend
Marco, you're too late. I know everything.

But then why should we talk about Marco?
Let's talk about Deborah.

And Deborah ...
What did she do in the car?

Did she give you ... a ride? Or not?

- I can't hide anything from you, eh?
- No, you can't.

But how is this girl?
Very beautiful?

- I wouldn't say "beautiful" ...
- Sexy?!

Eh! That is ... all in all,
a healthy little animal.

Ah ... healthy ... and available, it seems.

For certain kinds of opportunities
they must be available in pairs.

Ah ...

I had to use the strong method:
a nice therapeutic slap.

Oh ... you're adorable ...

- Pardon?
- Eh? No, no ... nothing.

No, no, I heard you fine,
You said, "You're adorable."

Oh, Anna, you know that it seems to me
that I've known you forever?

For days and days
I've been trying to rebuild ...

.. Your image in my mind.

It's ... a kind of tender identikit.

A tender what?

- Identikit. And do you know how I imagine you?
- No.

Sparkling, colorful, ...

A sweet smile ..,
silky hair, tender eyes ...

But I told him that.

I'm sure that men
turn to look at you, when you walk.

- The same words ...
- I knew you were like that.

I have a kind
of telepathic sensitivity.

Anna ...

Have you ever cried during a sunset?

- And you?
- Always.

Your husband is cheating on you
with yourself: it's appalling.

How I like listening to your voice, Tony.

I always wondered looking at your picture:
"But what voice does it have?"

- You look at my picture?
- I can't help it.

I know I shouldn't, but ...
I keep it under my pillow.

- You have such an interesting face ...
- Me? Well ..

- You really think so?
- Your voice is beautiful and sensual.

It's the only thing
I didn't know about you.

- Lisa told me everything.
- Everything?

Everything, everything, everything. I even know
you have a strawberry birthmark.

I hope she didn't say where.

Don't worry,
I go crazy over strawberries.

- Let's meet.
- Where? - Here, at my house.

- When? - Immediately.
I want to look at you.

Just look at me?

No. .. I mean, yes, I want
to look at you, I also want to ...

No foretaste, it will be a surprise.
Come at once, please.

Yes, a real surprise.
Don't move, I'm coming.

- Lisa ... you're back?
- What?

- You're back. - It seems obvious,
I'm here. I missed the plane.

- Missed the pl ... - Eh!
- How wonderful! - Yeah!

How cute you are!
What is it? Carnival?

No, it's just that I was hot and ...
But you, though ...

I was hot too
and I changed at the airport.

But what do I see! The sweets,
the champagne ... Whose party is it?

- The party is ... for you.
- For me. - Yours and ... mine.

- I knew you had come back.
- So you talked to Anna.

- Anna? - Anna. - No, why?
- I called her from the airport.

She told me that she had
just finished talking to you.

- See what you have to invent, Anna.
- Ah, Anna! - Anna!

- I understood Gianna. - Who is Gianna?
- Exactly, who knows her?

Do you know what Anna said?
She said that your voice ... is fascinating.

- Imagine ...
- And that you were courting her!

Ah, she also said ...
But what courting! Imagine if I ...

No, it's that she had quarreled with her husband.

By the way, it's also your fault.
She was crying, the poor thing.

So I was a little moved,
I was kind to her ...

No big deal, I wasn't courting her!
I don't even know her.

- And the tender identikit?
- What are you? Siamese twins?

You can't say a single thing to one,
the other is immediately informed!

By the way, did you tell her that you hadn't left?
What brought you back home?

I missed the plane because
I was chatting with her.

- Call her then. - Why?
- Because you have to inform her, don't you?

You tell her the most trivial things,
but not the important ones! Tell her!

- No, there is no need.
- Yes, there is a need!

If I tell you that there is a need,
it means that the need is there! I'll call her!

There's no need ... There is a need!

Maybe I shouldn't have come back
so suddenly.

- Is it by any chance that you had
to meet Anna? - Who? Me? - Eh?

Not at all! Here,
if you don't believe me, ask her.

- Yes, I'll ask.
- Ask her.

No, I can't, no one answers.
She must already be on the road.

What do you mean, already on the road?
To go where? Coming here, maybe?

Now you'll tell me that in a second, the doorbell
will ring and Anna will be at the door.

- The bell!
- The bell?

It will be one of those nuisances
selling the Encyclopedia Britannica.

- Don't open it. - But yes, open it.
- Do you want the Encyclopedia Britannica?

- I'll get it.
- No, then I'll go, if you really ...

Honey, trust me,
go to the room for a moment.

I'll settle this in five minutes,
let's not humiliate ourselves like that.
(Antonio) The liquid in five minutes,
umiliamola not so. ????

- But who is it? - Anna! Who knows what
that dimwit put in her head!

Anna? Anna is behind there?

No! Five minutes, I'll take care of it
immediately. Come on, go in there, eh?

Yes, yes, I'll go in there. Anna ...

Tony, finally! I heard that your wife
wasn't here, I came up for a moment.

How exciting! You enjoyed
that night, didn't you?

Ah, you're not alone! Piggy!

- Oh, wait!
- What?

I came to pick up my "cash sack".

You see, dear? You always suspect
the worst! It isn't Anna.

No, she's for the thing ...
Not for the Encyclopedia Britannica.

She came for the cash if ...
the boxes ... Checks ...

Cachet! She sells boxes of cachet!
But we don't need them, do you, dear?

Boxes of cachet ... And so,
this would be the eater of husbands.

The famous ... Deborah.
Is that all there is?

How could it be, all there is? There is ...
That is, how could it be, Deborah?

Not "could", it is! I'd Know her
among a thousand, this ... This!

- This, in what sense, excuse me?
- In a derogatory sense!

- The cow that says "horned"
to the sheep! - Girls ...

- Lamb, who did you call "cow"?
- What nerve!

The most slutty harlots
are the so-called respectable women!

- Girls ...
- Excuse me, Tony!

It may be professional sensibility,
but I've never endured abuse!

- This is a misunderstanding!
- And that's you. - How is it me?

This lady has a point.

- You don't trap the wife
of a friend like Marco. - What?

So you know too!
But this is a case like Watergate!

What do you know about Marco's wife?

- But isn't this lady his wife?
- Of course she's my wife!

I know Marco's wife,
I saw her photo, and this is ...

I'm not well! Get me some water!

- Immediately! - Don't say anything more,
I love you, you're adorable.

- Here, it's all for you.
- Here, honey. - We've made peace.

I get it. This girl has nothing to do with it,
she's not to blame and is very sweet!

- Even you and your husband ...
- The treats! She likes them so much!

Now she has to leave,
she has a date with a man.

Very pleased! Goodbye!

Lisa ... my darling,
I'm dumbfounded.

You have been so understanding,
such delicacy ... even with Sweden!

- So forgive me, eh?
- So I'm leaving.

I'm leaving!
Yes, I'm leaving! I'm leaving!

But where am I going? Where will I go?

I'll be back soon!

Hey, you ... here's your money.
I've never taken money from a woman.

You need to drink something strong.

Sergio, something strong
for the lady! The usual for me.

Thank you. Maybe you're asking yourself ...

I've stopped asking myself questions
for a while, you know?

It's true. I am the wife
of Marco and Antonio.

- Cleopatra? - No, bigamist.
I have two men. Are you shocked?

Me? Imagine!
At the moment, I have twelve!

12? Congratulations, I have two, but ...

Maybe you can forgive one husband
who betrays you, but two is too much!

- I understand, but you also ...
- Me? I've never cheated on them!

- Ah, you're a faithful bigamist!
- Eh ... bigamist.

- How I wish I knew!
- Why didn't you tell them?

You know what men are like!

They're able to turn over the omelette and
blame me that it's the wrong side!

Cheer up, there are a lot of men!

To get them,
just don't take them seriously.

You're nice. We could have
become friends in other circumstances.

- In the end, we have one thing in common.
- Maybe two.

I didn't know you were also smart.

I never am,
when there is a man around.

- Hello, beautiful!
- Hello, Superman! You're really cool.

- Promise me you won't cry anymore.
- Yes, don't worry!

In fact, those two have done me a favor.
They've solved my problem.

For the first time in my life
I don't belong to anybody.

I'm done with men!

If I happen to cry for a man again,
it will be from too much laughing!

Brava,'' Cleopatra''!

- No, my name is Anna Lisa.
Deborah, will you do me a favor? - Of course.

As soon as the baby comes, I'm leaving.

Only then you will need to call Marco
and Antonio and tell them everything.

And I hope they take it very badly!

Leave it to me,
I'll reduce them into two rags!

- Well, duty calls. Bye.
- Bye.

Hi, guys!

Hello? Pubblicitanima?
Who's on the phone?

Director, I'm sorry to bother you.
This is Marco Rossi.

I just wanted to know
if my wife was there.

Of course, you don't know me,
I've never called.

It was always my wife
who call me. Anna Rossi.

How could it be, neither seen or known her,
if you've been working with her for a year?!

Are you really the Manager
of the Pubblicitanima?

And you've never heard of
Anna Rossi? We're doing well.

And Lisa Bianchi?
At least you knows her. Not her either.

What kind of relationship do you have
with the staff? No, don't go away!

It's an urgen matter! My wife
has disappeared and she's also pregnant!

And you insist that you don't know her!
What? And what do you understand?

What blackmail! of course I'm the father
of the child! That's preposterous!

I just want to know where she is!
Anna! Anna Rossi, yes!

Why do you want me to give a damn
about Lisa Bianchi?!

And you don't care about either of them, eh?
You know what?

Hello! Hello!

Hello? Pubblicitanima?
Get me the manager, please.

Oh, you are? Ah, friend! This is
Professor Bianchi, Antonio Bianchi.

Yes, the husband of Lisa.
How are you? What?

There must be some interference, someone
said: "What do you care how she is."

That's crazy! But how was she?
How dare you?!

I will tell my wife
to resign immediately!

Now I demand that you transfer me!
What are you doing?

She's typing? On a machine.
Ah, not on a machine? What?
Sta battendo ? A macchina.
Ah, non a macchina ? Cosa ? ???

- Ah, it's you ... - Professor, I have
no words to tell you what I think of you!

- I was just ... - Know that
it's your fault my wife is gone!

They don't know either her or your wife
at the place where they're supposed to work!

- I was going to say the same thing!
- What? - The same situation!

- Those two are hiding something from us.
- Come with me. - My bike!

Now relax.

Follow me well, I understand everything,
I know everything, I've reconstructed everything!

My wife and yours are together
when the two of us are together ...

But .. when they are with us
they've careful not to be together.

- Do you follow me? - I follow you, but I
don't understand a thing. - I'm not surprised.

What was the need for us to meet ...

.. If the purpose was not for
the four of us to hang out together?

It was as if, having to confess
a serious thing that concerned us all, ...

They want us to know each other ..
to be on an equal level, is that clear?

- No. - Don't be discouraged. Even for me
it was hard but I got there.

Not for nothing
am I a professor of psychology.

Summary: My wife and your
left us at the same time.

- Why? - Because they discovered
we put horns on them.

Stories, it's now clear
that they are together ...

So .. where one goes,
there can't help but go the other.

- Why? - Because they're friends.
- Not enough! Wake up, Marco!

- Why? - Because ...
Look, I don't follow you.

- It's unbelievable, yet it can't be
anything else. - So, what is it?

Marco, Anna and Lisa
are not just two friends as we believe.

- What the heck are they?
- "Special" friends.

- Huh? - Special girlfriends.
- So what? - The snakes ... fawns ...

Fawns? But, lesbians?

- Fawns!
- No, not fawns! - Yes!

- Professor, I think you're crazy.
You read too much. - And you too little.

Don't you hear them
when they talk about each other?

What is it, if not infatuation? And then,
did they or did they not run away together?

Don't exaggerate:
those two love each other, ...

they speak of each other with tenderness,
they ran away together, ...

they've invented a job ..
to see one another.

- I think you're right.
- Eh!

- Better like that, than a real lover.
- Less serious. - I would say.

At least,
there isn't another man in the middle.

Exactly, there isn't.
As much as we deserve it, too.

I was getting along so well with Lisa ...
Damn you and your escapades.

- Yeah, and you?
- I was an idiot too, yes.

It's absurd to quarrel with your wife,
when the first child is about to born.

- What's that?
- It's the phone!

- Hello?
- Hello!

- It's Deborah! - Ah, it's you.
- Who is it? - Deborah.

Your wife is at the Rose Clinic.

- How? Where? When? Who? Why?
- Is this Marco or Antonio?

- Antonio. And is it Lisa or Anna in the clinic?
- Hurry, she's about to give birth!

- I'll be a father!
- It's not for sure.

- Is it a difficult childbirth?
- Very messy!

What? Whose mess? Hello!

Lisa is at the clinic, is about to give birth,
but there must be something wrong.

- I'm going! - I'm coming with you!
- Thank you! - Don't mention it!

- Lisa!
- Oh ...

- Lisa, how are you?
- Oh, how am I ...

- Lisa, I understand everything.
- Really? And you're not mad?

But no, I don't care at all!
Maybe you've forgotten that I love you.

I knew
that you were an exceptional man!

Maybe I neglected you and pushed you
to look for another love.

It isn't really in the rules,
so to speak, ...

But .. maybe that's why its more pathetic.

- Ah, my little one is too lonely!
- And Marco, how did he take it?

Marco is here outside.
I'm sure he thinks as I do.

- But it's amazing, it seems like a dream!
Go call him! - Yes, right away.

Marco! By the way, do you have any news
for him? Do you know where Anna is?

- Anna? But then ... - No, because
Marco doesn't know anything. Ah, here he is.

Oh! What the devil are you doing?
What is this intimacy? How dare you?

- Why shouldn't I permit myself?
- It's my wife!

Do you want to repeat that?
It's my wife!

Enough! What are you doing? A duet?
What did you think you understood?

- Anna! - Lisa!
- Yes, Anna Lisa! Here!

- Your wife?
- Your wife?

Your wife! Who has always loved you
and will love you forever.

- And you, liar, hypocrite ...
- Deceiver, biandrica ...

- This intrigue ... - You taught it to me!
- You dare to call that love?

Yes, and I'm not sorry,
because it was a great marriage!

I would remarry you right away,
always and only the two of you ... my loves.

No! Professor!

Oh my God! Mamma!
Help me! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Here we are!

Hello? Rose Clinic. Yes. One moment,
I'll transfer you to the Doctor.

Strange, isn't it?
But I can't hate you.

Strange, yes. Now it's as if
I had always known.

- Well, I'm leaving.
- Me too. - That's it.

On the other hand,
What else can we do?

If we were two twenty-year old hippies
we could decide to live together.

A woman in common, child in common ...

Young people are so free ...
But we are two old egotists.

A father also has the right to know
who the father of her child is!

Of course, because a woman can be divided,
but a son never!

Precisely because there is a child involved.

That certainly is yours!
You see?

- I'm leaving.
- Eh, yes.

- My daughter ...
- My son ...

- Which of you two is the father?
- You're asking us?

Thank you.
They're beautiful, you know?

Hm ?

Careful.

Ssh ...

What a woman!
I predicted this too!

Adapted from Italian subtitles
Horace Holly February 2019