Amityville Karen (2022) - full transcript

(dramatic music)

(bright music)

(lawn mower whirring)

(bright music)

It's six AM in the morning,

and you're out there
mowing the lawn.

Get a real job!

Oh, I hate my neighbors.

If you hired people
with citizenships,

they wouldn't have
to start this early.

Hiding from the government.



(woman groaning)

(bright music)

Whew, what do I
wear, what do I wear?

Too slutty,

not bitchy enough.

Ugh!

Ooh, this is the one.

This is the one that says
I'm going to fuck you so hard

you won't even
know what hit you.

(mysterious music)

Not appropriate.

Canceled, thumbs down, ew.

Oh God, those brothers
are so annoying.

Ugh, why does everyone
have a podcast?



It should be illegal
to start a podcast.

It's just, it's just so stupid.

I don't know why all these
people have podcasts.

It's just what do you
have to talk about?

Who are you?

Really?

I just, I don't care who you're
interviewing today, I don't.

Thumbs down.

Prank call neighbor.

(Karen giggling)

Your husband has been
sleeping with me.

It's been adventurous
and he gave me herpes.

(Karen laughing)

Check.

Mm, dog poop, not ready.

Shut down winery.

Shut down winery?

(mysterious music)

Karen.

Hey guys.

Poodles.

How you doing hun?

You're looking pretty good.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Today is pretty special for
me today just so you all know.

I am about to shut
down a business

I have been working on
closing for like 15 years.

Oh, you've always
had an eye and a ear

for taking the trash out.

Which is why we
actually came by actually.

Mrs. Hargrave, she's left
her giant cans exposed again

just rolling around
in the breeze

right there on the
sidewalk for all to see.

He's talking about the trash.

Yeah, yeah, I
know, she's a whore.

She's had sex with
all our neighbors,

it's just disgusting.

We need to get her
out of the neighborhood.

It's bad for us all.

I can assure you,

in this cul-de-sac soap
opera, we are not the daddies.

No, we're not.

Well, I'm not anyway.

I don't know, I plead the fifth.

I'm not the daddy.

Anyway, I have a lot to do today

so I have to go
get back to work,

but let's go shopping,
have some coffee soon?

[Alex] Let's make it happen.

I have a meeting
I think tomorrow.

Can you come?

We'd really love your support.

Of course.

And then we should all
file individual complaints

about Helen.

Let's get this bitch
out of our neighborhood.

Definitely.

All for one.

[All] One for all.

Oh.

Taking back the neighborhood.

I'd sleep with her, would you?

Oh God, really?

Why are you even bringing
that up right now?

(car engine running)

(tires screeching)

(car beeping)

Move your stupid children!

Some people have jobs!

And don't wear the
same outfit every day.

(car beeping)

I hate you, Karen.

(mysterious music)

I think everything
is gonna be fine.

I mean we've got
everything covered.

I know she's brutal, but
I also know my business.

I'll handle her.

I just don't even want
to see her smug face today.

Like we have a lot going on

and I'd really rather
lick skunked wine

off the bottom of the
barrels in the back

than to listen to her
little beaver mouth

dictating codes this morning.

Hey, don't be disrespecting
my barrels, Hank

and don't disrespect beavers.

They're noble creatures.

True.

Let's get it together
and started for the day.

I'll go do the run through of
the new area before the audit

to make sure it's looking
good and situated.

Y'all get situated.

We'll get her in and out and
then we can focus on the event

and the brand launch.

Hells yeah.

Let's sell the shit
out of this wine.

Hey, maybe save that
graphic enthusiasm

for when after Karen, the
sucker of souls, passes through.

Look, I'm pretty sure
she has a forum dedicated

to anything that sounds
remotely like working joyfully.

(Karen coughing)

Fucking bitch.

Hello?

No, no operator, operator,
operator, operator.

Are you really coming at me
right now, seriously, seriously?

Operator, operator.

I was just harassed by
one of your employees.

Yes, no she harassed me
and she tried to kill me.

She literally
tried to murder me.

I'm shaken right
now, I'm shaken.

I don't know if I'm going
to be able to go to work.

I'm injured, I'm injured.

I was assaulted.

I was totally, totally assaulted
by that fucking barista.

No, no, no, I'm
not getting loud,

I am not getting loud,

I am just upset.

I am very, very hurt right now

that you would hire
somebody so incompetent.

Look, I am a compliance officer,

this is what I do for a living

and I also have a lot
of followers online,

okay and I will
expose your business.

I will expose you to the world

about what this woman did to me.

Hank.

Hello, Karen.

This so good to have
you with us again.

Listen, I don't
need your employees

listening to what we're
saying and continue.

Well, I want to thank
you for coming back in.

Having someone of your expertise
on operational procedures

is so informative.

Unvaluable, I mean
invaluable of course.

Yeah, I see that your
team has really improved

since the last walkthrough,

but I have to tell
you it's still subpar.

My third time this month,

it's becoming to be
a regular thing here.

I understand and I thank
you for the extra visits.

However, we do have
another tasting event,

larger scale tomorrow night.

It will have a live band, a
discounted flight package,

with a few new selections.

I'll have Troy walk you
through it step by step.

It should be pretty standard.

Pretty standard, yeah.

Wait, Troy, we need to talk
about the last time I was here

because I just don't
want a repeat of this.

The bottles, okay the bottles,

they were not wiped
down correctly, okay?

You are not supposed to clean
things from bottom to top.

It's always supposed
to be top to bottom.

Do you know why?

Do you know why, Dallas?

The bottles are sealed.

Yes, yes, but when you
wipe from bottom to top,

you are spreading bacteria,
bacteria, germs everywhere.

You're touching the
bottom of something

that holds everything

and you're just
moving it to the top.

Bacteria and germs
all over the place.

We just can't have
that here, okay?

Look, the cloth, the cloth, Hank

was not soaked in warm,
soapy antibacterial solution.

Okay, yeah?

Okay, fair.

Laundry was not
provided to the staff.

Did you see what those
people look like?

Troy looks like he hasn't
changed his shirt in a week.

He likes to get
things (indistinct),

he works better that way.

That is not acceptable.

That is just, that
is just unacceptable.

Now, we need to talk
about your sinks, okay?

Okay.

All right, if you're
doing a new expansion,

you really have to pay
attention to the metal.

There's spots all over here.

And do you know what
that means, Hank?

Do you know what this means?

Water spots.

No rust, rust is eminent here.

And do you know
what rust causes?

Uh...

Cancer.

It spreads, it's a disease,
it takes over everything.

Now the staff, the walkthrough,

they have improved
fundamentally, but you know what?

It's still subpar.

It's still subpar.

And I am just worried
that if you do expand,

it is not gonna be up
to code or my standards.

Okay, I understand.

Come and I'll show you.

Oh, okay.

She is the devil, pure evil.

I don't know, maybe she
just needs to have a drink.

I've never met a
woman I couldn't charm

with a few fruity notes
and a nice conversation.

I say skip the conversation
and drink the wine yourself,

massive amounts.

I wouldn't waste good wine

on trying to get
any charm outta her.

Huh, probably just needs
to feel utilized, important.

Maybe she just needs a
purpose in life, you know?

She would make a
great speed bump.

She is pretty cute, Hank.

Would you ask her out?

I don't know about
that, Troy, but you,

why don't you invite her
to your little party?

See if she wants to help
you host that brand launch?

Because maybe afterwards
she can check your plumbing,

give you a golden seal of
approval while she's down there.

My toilets are fine.

That snake really does work.

Not what I was meaning at all.

Maybe I will take
one for the team.

I can try and find out
where she's coming from,

maybe even see if I can make
her ease up on her review

for the new station.

I don't know if there's anything

that can get that
woman to ease up.

I mean, she's like a walking
constipation with a hemorrhoid.

And the only thing
more irritating

is what she could possibly
do to the business

if she leaves here with
the mindset to do so.

That's a horrid thought.

As you can see,

we took your advice on
giving more space to the area

where air is required
for the food,

also for movements,
flow of foot traffic

and to improve the interaction
between staff and customer.

Yes, I see that you have
taken the compliance station

more effective for the customers
to be situated in there.

[Dallas] Do you ever
drop the jargon, Karen?

Excuse me?

[Dallas] I mean,
we've worked together

for several years now.

I'd even call you my favorite
code enforcement auditor.

You just stop that right now.

[Dallas] Stop what?

The bullshit flattery.

Do you think I like you, Dallas?

Do you think we're friends?

[Dallas] Yeah.

I don't like you.

I've never liked your face,

there's just too much
hair going on there.

And I don't know if you're
trying to harass me right now,

but I don't appreciate it.

I have a very sexy man
at home waiting for me

just so you know and you do
not talk to women like that.

I see.

Well, there it is,
the beer station,

the same as any
event would have,

set up for beer
tasting, a few taps,

also, license and permitted

between local brewers
and us graciously.

And you want me to
let you experiment?

Just 24, maybe 48 hours.

Let us get through our events,
grow up some new business.

I promise, everything will
be in place after that.

You can leave me with
your recommendations

and I'll have everything
that you require.

The only thing that
I'm gonna recommend

is that you get a job elsewhere

and I will never, ever
recommend you for anything,

anything, not even washing
dishes, you can't even do that.

[Dallas] What if I offer
you a free unlimited flight

for tomorrow night,
everything on the house?

You see how hard
we're working here.

Are you trying to bribe
a code enforcement officer?

[Dallas] No, ma'am,
not this business, no.

I can't believe this.

I am going to call my
supervisor right now, this is,

I have never been so
degraded before in my life.

You do not bribe a
compliance officer.

[Dallas] It's just
a misunderstanding.

Let's just forget the
whole thing, shall we?

I can get you arrested for this.

[Dallas] No,
that's not necessary.

This is a felony.

This is a felony.

I will have your ass
on a stick right now.

[Dallas] Oh, we'll
do better next time.

Oh, there won't be a next time.

And if you continue to do this
event, I will shut you down.

[Dallas] Oh please.

Now I have to go inside

and write you up
for more infractions

because this establishment
is so shitty.

By the time I'm done
with you, Dallas,

you won't even be able to
work for your own mother.

Ah, thank you, thank you.

Troy, I've gone over all
of this before with you

many times.

I just need a full list

of every wine that you intend
to procure here for the month,

where they come from,

where they originated from,

where all these
supplies are from.

Okay, I have it.

(Troy grunting)

Somewhere.

What are those?

Oh, that's the Amityville one.

What?

I'm hosting a party for that.

You can come if you want.

Big words, use your
big words, Troy.

It's a being commissioned
as a sales incentive

to allure intrigue.

And where is this party?

Oh, it's in my house.

I got the best house for it.

I built this tiki
bar in the back

and I hand sanded the deck.

And a permit?

Oh, told my neighbors I
wouldn't be loud after 10.

Troy, you know it's unethical

to throw work events at
your house for the winery.

Okay, the wine is not licensed
to be in a private residence.

No one asked me to
read anything, Karen.

It's not a test, it's
an exclusive event.

Listen Troy,
everything is a test.

I need you to log all
of your supplies for me

so that I can put them here.

Can you please go do your job?

Sure but I was
go gonna invite you

and if you keep
pressuring me anymore,

I just don't think I
can have you there.

Troy, you have to invite me

because I have to
log everything.

(Troy groans)

Thank you.

Well, if he's off the books,

then I guess I should
be off the books, too.

(Karen giggling)

I cannot wait for
five o'clock to come.

You have no idea.

Dallas and Hank are
going to be so sad

when I walk in there and
just shut it all down,

and that little bus boy, Troy.

You should have seen his
face, he was all excited.

He was all like, oh,
I made this party.

It's gonna be amazing though.

I have really waited
for this all of my life.

It will be the
performance of a lifetime.

I'm gonna see tears.

They are gonna start crying.

It's just, I might even film it.

I think I'm gonna set a camera
up and film the whole thing

because it's just something
that I want to remember forever.

Yeah, it's gonna be a memory.

It's gonna be a memory,
it's gonna be great.

I just can't wait.

I just can't wait.

Ugh, hold on a second.

(knocking on door)

Who is it?

[Mrs. Hargrave] Mrs. Hargrave.

[Karen] Stupid neighbor,

I don't know what she wants.

(Karen sighs)

We need to talk seriously.

I did not invite you in here.

Yeah, well you
harassing my children,

running my dog out of town,

I think we need to talk
seriously about this.

First of all, your dog
has destroyed my garden.

I would like a check
for all of my flowers

that he has pissed and shit on.

If you were a
decent human being,

you would at least
pick that shit up.

Your flowers are more
important than my children's lives?

Seriously?

Some people work.

I had to go to work.

They were standing by my car.

I don't know if you're
purposely telling

these little monsters
of yours to harass me,

but I cannot take it any longer.

Control your kids.

And you're talking
about harassment?

When you've got
your little lackeys

coming around my backyard
spying on me, taking photos.

What, you gonna send
some emails to the HOA,

try to run me out of town?

I'd like to see you try.

You are trying to seduce them

by taking all of
your clothes off.

I don't know where you grew up,

but you are seriously
destroying our neighborhood.

Put some fucking clothes on.

Maybe you should get a
job like most people have,

okay, not just go around

and fuck all of the men in town.

You're trying to
run me out of town?

I'd rather see your rotting
corpse before that happens.

All right, well, you
know what, Mrs. Hargrave?

Why don't you just go have
a great day and fuck off?

[Mrs. Hargrave] Fine.

Cunt!

(Karen groans)

[Kevin] Never been
to San Francisco.

Why would she even have that?

It's like one girl and 50 cups,
that's gonna be the sequel.

[Karen] Kevin?

Yes, what? Hi.

What are you doing here?

I thought you needed
me to come over here

and pick up the dry cleaning.

No, not today, okay?

I have a lot of stuff going on

and you can't just come into
my house without asking.

Okay.

So violation?

Yeah, it's a
violation of my privacy.

What's a violation?

A violation is when you enter
my house and I am not here.

What if I was with someone else?

Ooh, like another girl?

No, you child.

You're such a child.

Did you?

Listen, I thought that maybe

after I finished doing whatever
chores you needed me to do,

we could hang out and
like here, this wine,

maybe we could drink
some of this wine

and you know watch a movie

and hang out afterward.
- No, this is my wine, okay?

I have a very
important day tomorrow.

At five o'clock, I am going
to shut down the winery

and then I will get a promotion.

All right, do you
know what that means?

No.

I know you didn't finish
high school, Kevin, okay,

but a promotion means
I make more money.

Then, I can buy a nicer
house and get a nicer car

and move out of
this shitty place

with all these shitty people.

Well, you know,
maybe to prepare,

maybe you should get
some rest and you know,

two people make a
nap a lot better.

No, no, no, no, Kevin,

I just need to have
some alone time,

I will power nap and I will
have a great time okay?

Okay.

Well, all right, fine.

You know what?

Don't you need to go home

and get your mom to sign
that permission slip for you?

Aright, well this has been fun.

Yeah, see leave.

[Kevin] That's
what I'm gonna do.

You need to move out of
your mom's house, okay?

It's not cool that you
live in her basement.

It's not cool, not cool, Kevin.

Ugh, just me and you tonight.

(ominous music)

Is this a dream?

This dream is offensive.

Cover up, stop being naked.

(Karen groaning)

Is this a dream?

I'm dreaming.

You're offensive.

Put some clothes on.

Stop.

That's disgusting, don't
do that on my floor.

(woman screeching)

No, I did not invite
you in my house.

Kevin, did you invite
one of your sluts in?

Get, no, off of my bed.

Don't touch me,
don't you touch me.

No, no!

No, no.

Look, I don't like women.

I don't know what
Kevin told you,

but I am not into women
and this is not okay.

Kevin!

No, no, don't you get on top.

That's not okay,
this is not okay.

Kevin!

Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, oh, get
off of me, get off of me.

I don't want this right now.

This is a bad dream.

Wake up, Karen,
wake up, wake up!

(ominous music)

I don't know what's
going on, Mr. Snuggles.

What happened last night?

Who was here?

(Karen groaning)

I can't, I can't, I can't.

I look okay.

I just don't feel right.

[Deep Voice] Karen?

Who's talking?

(Karen sighing)

(Karen coughing)

(knocking on door)

Who is it?

Excuse me?

My name is Barnaby.

Did you enjoy the wine?

What?

Your belly is big and pregnant

from the juices of my grapes.

That is sexual harassment
and I don't have to take it.

If you don't get outta here
right now, I'm calling the cops.

I'm gonna call them right now.

You have been chosen.

You have been chosen
for the uprising.

Look I don't know whatever
Bible thing you're selling,

but I am not religious

and it is illegal for you
to sell your theories on me.

You will sign this
because you're mine, bitch.

The powers unleashed
onto you from my wine

will be transformed to
everyone you contact

and you will be
giving them my wine.

Now sign this contract, bitch.

Okay.

I am presenting you
with my bony thumb.

(dark music)

(Barnaby laughing)

Man Gerald, I cannot believe it.

Everything that I
wanted is happening.

We are having beer tasting,
beer flights here at the winery.

Would you ever thought a winery

would ever be able
to have beer flights?

This is awesome.

I am so thrilled.

I know.

How many years have
I been telling you

that we've gotta have beer here?

We've both been
talking about it.

We're beer aficionados

and we're finally getting
our chance to have beer here.

Absolutely.

I just hope we get a
lot more chicks coming

as a result of this event.

You know what?

Everybody cool drinks beer.

We are gonna have so
many cool chicks here.

We are gonna be the cool guys.

You know, I have a
thing for Latina girls,

but what about you?

Do you have a type, a
favorite type of girl?

Of course, I prefer the Asians,

gotta love 'em.
- The Asians?

I like the Asian girls, too,

but so here's what
we're gonna do.

Any girls that come in
here that are Latinas,

they come to me, all the
Asians go straight to you.

We're each other's wing men.

We'll be helping each other out.

We'll be getting each other
laid in our beer area.

[Gerald] That is
awesome, no competition.

We don't have to
have anybody else here.

No one else has to come here.

This is our area.

We own this joint,
we own this joint.

You know, the only thing is

I just hope people
like our beer flights,

'cause let me tell you,
if they don't like it,

I'm gonna be really let down.

I mean we've been working
a long time on these.

I'm just like so excited
about this whole thing.

I just cannot believe it.

I'm just really hoping that
they like our beer flight.

That's all that matters is
'cause they know we picked it.

That's the thing, I'm gonna
hate it if they don't like.

Listen, they're gonna love it.

There's definitely
gonna be a huge hit.

Don't worry about it.

All right, I can't wait.

Now I know you need
to change things up,

business is slow,

but beer tasting, isn't that
like a college kid thing?

I wouldn't know, Annie,
I never went to college.

Oh well you're doing all right.

You're doing good for yourself.

You've mastered that cork pull.

It's just so dreamy, mm hmm.

Okay, let's see here.

Sometimes you gotta show
you who boss, you know,

put some real strength into it.

(Troy grunting)

See, no problem, wala.

Yeah?

Yes, please.

You certainly are
my favorite server

and I'm just really
rooting for you all

to get back on track.

This place is like home to me.

I want to thank you
for the conversation

and of course this wine
coursing through my veins.

It's my pleasure.

Now, when she comes in,
let me talk to her first.

I'll take her in the back and
go through it with her there.

We don't want to have a scene.

I just need to get her
away from everyone.

Yeah, what do you think
she's gonna try to pull?

Probably something
to do with sanitation

or a structure
issue, I don't know,

but whatever it is, I'll give
her a temporary clearance

my cousin typed up

and get her off our
backs until tomorrow.

Then, we'll go through it.

I just need to get
her to fuck off

till we get this event done.

Great, what about
the brand launch?

What about it?

You think she has
anything going on with that?

Because Troy said that
she was acting weird

and that her pigeon face

might try to throw a
wrench in that too.

If she does try anything,

we have to keep our cool.

This Amityville owner

is putting a hell of a lot
of money into renovations

and we have to keep him happy.

Right, right.

Hey, Troy said one of the
bottles was missing too.

You don't think she
took it, do you?

I sure wish she did.

I'd love to see her unhappy
ass drink a bottle or two.

Hell, I'd give her a whole case

if it meant her being
less of a nasty bitch.

Right?

Man, I would love
to see her drunk

and just drop that stiff
uppity know-it-all routine,

you know what I'm saying?

Like do you think she's
ever been fun in her life?

All that matters right now

is she is the only thing

that stands between
us digging ourselves

out of a deep dark hole,

whatever it takes, give
her whatever it takes.

True, I'm on board,
whatever it takes.

My manager.

I need to talk to a manager.

Manager, I need to
talk to a manager.

I want to talk to the supervisor's
supervisor's supervisor.

No, that fork is dirty.

That's dirty, there's hair.

I want a refund.

I won't take no for an answer.

Give me back my money.

No, no, no, there's a bug.

No, no, no, no,

I want to speak to a supervisor.

Please, the supervisor, your
supervisor's supervisor.

(knocking on door)

No!

Hello?

Hello?

Hello, ma'am.

My name is Bjorn and
I have very exciting

news to share with you

about phone service
options in your area.

Did I invite you in my house?

'Cause I don't remember
inviting you inside.

If you would give me
just a moment of your time,

I will tell you about great
discounts that my company offers

that will save you on
ways that you can change

the way you reach out and
touch those around you.

I don't want anyone touching me.

How did you get my information?

Well, we have a list.

I do not deserve
to be on the list.

Where is your supervisor?

[Bjorn] Well, my
supervisor's at the office,

but if you give
me just a moment,

I promise you I can
save you a lot of money.

All right, you're
gonna save me money?

[Bjorn] Yeah, yeah, can I?

Okay, great, let me show you

the plans.
- Let me show you my phones.

Okay, let's do it.

I'll show you my plans
and we'll talk about it.

I think you're really
gonna like this.

I know I will.

You behave, Ivan.

I had three older
brothers growing up

and I whooped their asses
on several occasions.

You don't want to
tangle with me?

Ouch, looks like
they helped make you

quite the badass though.

That they did.

They made me strong,
they made me mean,

but they made me durable.

Well, what would make
you a little friendlier?

Oh, well buy me another
round and let's find out.

I hear she's a fine
dancer, very smooth.

Spirits definitely have
something to do with it.

You mean like ghosts?

Like possession, woo.

I bet you could get seriously
haunted drinking that wine.

Well, not until tomorrow night.

No spooky stuff until
after the party.

Are you coming?

Not me, I can't make it though.

Oh, I was gonna ask
you to be my date.

Aw, and I would have
to politely decline.

I know it's gonna be a scream.

Can't wait to hear all
about it next time I'm in.

You want us to
save you a sample?

Yes, of course.

You know I've been
dying to try it,

that with all the
build up of the lore.

Fancy bottles, campfire
tales, overpriced grape juice.

Speaking of that, I want to
go support the beer tasting.

I'll see you guys in a bit.

Ew, why would you
want to do that?

(ominous music)

(Karen groaning)

So many things to do,

I can't do it all.

Kick the dog,

I didn't feed the cat,
it's reported the videos,

become the head of the HOA.

It's not fair,

I didn't get to yell
at my gardeners today.

Ruin wine tasting at 5:00 PM.

Shut them down, I
can still do that.

I'm gonna go do that.

I'm gonna go ruin
that wine tasting

if it's the last thing I do.

(heavy rock music)

Shit son.

(heavy rock music)

God damn.

His loss, holds a hole.

Bartender, you have
any whisky back there?

[Fred] I have some wine
with some birds on it.

Come on now, man, give
me that whole bottle, Fred.

How long we known each other?

This is how you treat me now?

Ladies.

Oh, he's so funny.

Is that your boyfriend?

Spirit.

Oh, a groupie?

Same thing.

That's a romantic
approach, I suppose.

Well (indistinct).

[Ivan] I like it.

Shut up, Ivan.

Ooh, I like that, too.

Yeah, ride into your hot 102.

That's right, he's a hot
boy, she's a hot girl,

but she's hot boy
today, aren't you, baby?

Right.

Oh, that's right,

we're down here at the winery
two days a week, friends,

two days a week.

Come on down and
see how all of this.

Oh, listen, listen,

not what you said
last night, baby.

Anyway, as I was saying before,

you do that now, oh yeah.

How 'bout some of this, guys?

Yeah, you just saw
this old man twerk

and you liked it.

You saw it, you saw,

saw this old man twerk

and it mesmerized you.

It's okay, I do that.

Mic drop.

What do you recommend?

Oh, well what do you like?

Well, I usually just drink
whatever or go buy the label.

Well, are you a red girl or
do you like something lighter?

Full bodied or fruity?

What is that one?

Oh, that one seems to
be the conversation piece

of the evening.

Well, then my job is well done.

Like a chewy steak, dear.

What is it?

Well, it's a red, I believe,

although I've never
tasted it personally.

Talk is is that
it's hearty, thick

and sticks to one

as if it almost becomes
one with your soul.

Is that good?

It depends if you like to be
taken over by your beverage.

Intoxication comes with
the territory, Annie.

I'm not talking
about getting drunk.

I'm talking about
body snatching.

Kids want to blame their
bad behavior on alcohol,

I'm just not advocating that.

Rumor has it that this
winery in Amityville

was built on a cursed location,

lots of cult
activities, sacrifices,

paranormal infestations and
murder, all in the soil,

rooted where they
harvest the ingredients.

You can taste the
damnation in every sip.

Now that's definitely not
in the sales pitch I have.

How do you know
this and can I try it?

Because I've had my finger
on the pulse of that town

and that winery in particular.

I was here when the old man
brought it in and I adore wine.

I'm always looking
for the what's what.

But when I saw that old
man, I knew it was real.

And that's why I
won't go to the party.

You're such a pooper, Annie.

And what's your name again?

[Bianca] Bianca.

Bianca, you have to RSVP

to the party for
the wine to try it.

It's at my house tomorrow night,

and it's not cursed
like Annie says,

but she is onto
something pretty spiffy

with that horrifying
marketing approach.

Hell, even I want to try it now.

Thanks, Annie.

Well, it could just
be a part of the allure,

but I wouldn't chance it.

Up to you, doll.

Just trying to liven
up the evening,

but there is something
otherworldly about that wine.

(ominous music)

Karen, you made it in.

I'm assuming this is for
business and not pleasure.

You're not here to take me up
on the free flight, are you?

Okay, I see.

What's this?

Okay, I see.

Let's go talk about this, okay?

Come on.

So you're saying we can
have the brand launch party,

but at a different location?

So if we had the brand launch
party at this location,

everything is in the clear?

What are you talking about?

My house has already
been approved.

We have a gated
community and everything.

I gave the guard the
list already, it's done.

Troy, it's okay.

Karen has just explained to
us that it's a zoning issue.

She's just here to make sure

we have all the proper
documents and documentations

for the jurisdiction
and all that.

But I-

Troy, just make sure
your station is stocked.

Gerald made mention that
your wrestling accounts,

he saw it might be off
a little bit tonight.

I'm sorry about that,

but he's very proud
of his position

and this is a very
big deal to him.

Thank you.

I'll go make some party
favors for the event tonight.

Ooh, you ready to
dance, dancing queen?

You know, I still
think that's a hard pass.

But what about Howard?

He's out there by himself.

Look at him go.

I mean, I'm really not good

at being put on the spot, Ivan.

So maybe you should
just run along

and I could end my
night peacefully.

I just can't believe
she did that to me.

Troy, I don't think Dallas
did it to you on purpose.

You know how Karen is,

she comes in here
and shakes things up.

That's what she does.

I don't have much in my life.

Opening my cave to
bring others to it

and business to our family
is everything to me.

Why isn't that enough?

You know, Troy, you
know what I think?

Let me tell you something.

I think she's a massive,
massive alcoholic.

And you know why she's
here all the time?

'Cause she's here
to drink us dry.

That's why she's here, she's
a wino, she loves wine.

She loves to come here
for the free screener wine

and to shake things up
and get wine from us.

That's why she's here, drunk.

I just can't stand back

and feel like she
got one under on me.

It took me days to
sand that deck, Alex.

You don't just sand
a deck for days

and let someone shit on it.

Listen, listen, you
can't let this defeat you.

You know Troy, you
are the party king.

Everybody loves your parties.

We all talk about your parties.

We love going to your parties.

You are the king of the parties.

Don't let this defeat you.

There's gonna be way
more parties, Troy.

This is not the end for you.

Parties are in your future.

I told you, party king.

That's right, I'm the man.

I have to defend my
property, my job.

And your deck.

My deck, my winery.

Oh, it's so on.

All right, Gerald, right?

Right.

I'm Moran, I'm the band manager.

All right so I'm
gonna talk to you

a little bit about payment.

All right so I'm
gonna take payment

as soon as they start
the last song, all right?

I gotta count it out,

I gotta make sure
that's in the increments

that we discussed earlier.

All right you know
what I'm saying?

I'm not a fucking stripper

so don't be giving
me too many ones.

Let's see here,
now the house fee,

we're gonna need to look
at cutting that, okay?

You know, we're kind of
doing you a favor here

and it seemed to be
really expensive,

especially last minute

so if you could just
work with me on this.

What do you think?

I don't know anything
about that, man.

I'm overdue as well.

See, see, see, I'm
not the only one.

For my little trip to
the little girl's room.

Okay, so she's
just being a, look,

none of us getting is paid here.

Have you gotten paid lady?

No comment.

Okay, I would pay
her lots of money,

okay, you know what I'm saying,

but I need to get paid money.

I got people to pay, I
got band members to pay,

you know what I'm
saying, I got shit to do.

So what do you think
about that, huh?

I don't know.

All right, I'm gonna have
to find somebody around here

that knows what the
hell they're doing.

[Gerald] Hey Troy, the
ransom count is good.

I cannot believe her.

How could she just
tear me apart?

I can't let her
get away with this.

You know what?

I'm gonna make her pay,

make her see what she
does to other people,

exactly what she
makes them feel.

I'm gonna give her
exactly what she gives.

Hey, listen, I don't
need any of this shit,

none of this aggravation,
it's all you.

You know what?

I'm gonna call her
fucking manager.

I'm outta here.

[Karen] You're not
calling any manager.

(Troy grunting)

How do you like that, huh?

I'm calling corporate.

(Troy grunting)

You're not supposed
to hit a woman.

You're not a woman,
you're a demon.

(Karen and Troy grunting)

(glass shattering)

(Troy groaning)

No, no.

(Troy grunting)
(flesh squishing)

(Karen laughing)

(upbeat music)

That's it, I'm gonna
look for a new winery

and I'm gonna have to
take a restraining order

out on Ivan.

Ridiculous, these people.

Trash, so much trash.

(Annie gasping)

(Annie grunting)

Too much cleavage.

(Annie grunting)

You know baby, captain
says a hole is a hole.

You don't say?

He sure does.

You know, if you want,

I can give you a little
private tour of the van, hmm?

I don't think that's
gonna be necessary.

All right, your loss, baby.

I'll maybe see around here, huh?

Perhaps not.

♪ A hole is a hole ♪

♪ Don't you know 'bout
the pole in my pants ♪

Sing it brother.

Sing it brother.

Bring it home, hot boy summer,

hot boy summer, can't
keep 'em off of ya.

I've been buying
her drinks all night,

all freaking night.

I've had enough of this.

It's time I get a return
for my investment.

Let's see what fruity
note you taste with these,

you snooty little bitch.

You think it's okay
to objectify women?

(man grunting)

(Karen growling)

(man grunting)

Marijuana is for trash.

(man grunting)

You're fired.

Your music is horrible.

[Man] What are
you talking about?

[Karen] Your music is horrible.

(beer pouring)

Why hello everyone and welcome.

You are our first ever beer
enthusiast ever at the winery

for the first ever beer flight,

which I put together
for all of you guys.

So you guys ready
to try the flight?

Fuck yeah.

Well, this one,

this first one comes
from Wellsboro,

you know, locally so you
know it's gonna be good.

Locally huh?

What do you say about it?

[Bartender] This
is a lighter Pilsner.

That's what we're
gonna start off with.

Yes?

You like it?

Dude, that ain't beer.

Tastes like fucking potpourri.

And then we're gonna
have to go through

and we'll try something
else besides that, okay?

Okay.

We're gonna go with
a fresh hoppy IPA.

You might like that

a little bit more.
- That's this one.

Try this.

Dude, this looks like
you should be giving it

to the mortician chick
over there, God damn.

You wanna try this one?

Hey man, don't knock the sours.

These things will
knock you on your ass

and they get chicks and that's
what we want tonight, okay?

You want to drink
a little of this,

all the girls will see
what we're drinking,

then they'll talk to us
about berries and shit

and then we'll end in the
bathroom with a blow job.

Dude, what the fuck
are you talking about?

This is what's happened
to you at this winery?

Sir-

[Man] You fucking
got chicks everywhere.

Sir, have you been
having in our winery?

You don't have blow jobs in our-

I'm trying.

Is he just saying he's
having blow jobs in our winery?

Apparently, the wine is working.

Oh, okay.

That's not really what's
supposed to be happening.

I didn't know we were running
like an escort club in here.

This is a winery.

[Man] This what they use it for?

Yeah, you try it.

[Man] Put it down, chug it.

Try it back there, try it.

- Yes, yes, yes!
- All the way.

[Bartender] Woo man,
now it's a fucking party.

What do you think?

- You like it?
- Well, what do you got?

[Bartender] Are you okay?

He loves it.

Don't be shy.

I've got a feeling, Gerald,

that nobody likes the flight.

I mean, so what is the
matter with our flight?

We've been working on
this flight a long time.

Why is it bad?

Man, I just can't
do fucking wine.

It tastes like
fucking potpourri.

It looks like a fucking vampire

is menstruating
in a fucking cup.

It's fucking primal ass shit.

[Man] I'm good,
I'll have another one.

You like it?

Okay, at least
somebody likes it.

You hate it.

So if you hate it so much,
go inside to the wine,

I don't want you out here.

This is my baby here so
go ahead back inside then.

Okay, you're a big mess.

Your shirt's a mess, go in.

[Gerald] See ya later.

[Man] Do you have any
fucking like Sierra Nevada

or Guinness back
there or something?

We don't have
anything like that.

[Man] Jameson, do some shots?

We have a chocolate stout
if you want to try that.

You have my flight.

This is the flight
that we put together.

Correct.

So if you don't like the flight,

you can go inside
and have some wine.

Maybe you'll like some
of the wine inside.

[Man] I'll mix two of
your flights together.

Let's see what this
bad boy tastes like.

- Well, give it a whirl.
- It's our last one.

[Bartender] Try it,
that might be the one.

- That's my boy.
- We have a winner.

We have winner.
- That's my boy.

I knew we'd figure it out.

I told you, we were gonna
find a flight that works.

So now what we gotta do,

mix both together,
we've got a winner.

That's right, one success.

And we created it,
we created a wine,

or a beer, whatever
the hell it is,

we created it.

[Man] I'll take another
one of those then, fuck it.

You want another one?

Okay, all right.

So nobody's seen Troy then?

Listen, the last
time I saw Troy,

he was screaming his brains
out in the kitchen about Karen.

Yeah, he was probably
getting pissed off

when she brought
in those papers,

and whatever was on the papers,

it flipped him out
and he went crazy.

He's not like that.

No, no.

There was a zoning issue,
but my hands were tied.

We gotta do what's in the
best interest of the business.

Troy has to buck up and let
this go and he knows this.

He probably just got pissed off

about whatever's going
on and stormed out.

I'm sure he'll be back tomorrow.

I'm sure.

Let's get everyone
to cover for tonight

and get things taken care of

and then let Troy
gather his thoughts

and I'll just take it
up with him tomorrow.

No use making
things more dramatic

than they have to be right now.

Bro, come on, don't be a bitch,

just stay a couple
minutes later.

Dude, that girl over
there, she wants me.

I'm gonna have her
in my back pocket

by the end of the night.

I'm sure you will bro, but
dog, I gotta work tomorrow.

You do what you
gotta do, you do it,

but just holla when
you get back, man.

I don't want to find you
naked in the fucking pool hall

with paint all over your
dick, like Frank's wedding.

One time, fuck, whatever bro.

All right man,
fucking bring it in.

Bring it in, bring it.

- I love you.
- I love you, bro.

- Fucking love you.
- I love you.

Fuck it.

Hey, yes.

Haha, love you.

Hey listen man, yeah,
yeah, I got the money.

Oh dude, this
fucking dumb ass band

let me collect without
'em again, it's beautiful.

Last time I skimmed off the top,

I just blamed it all
on the fucking whore

that the singer's banging.

It's beautiful.

Besides, I think I can get
a lot more on this one.

Oh yeah, the place
they're playing

is fucking struggling, dude.

I'm just gonna say there's a
little bit of a discrepancy

on the payout, that's all.

Besides, last time I said this,

they didn't say a fucking
word, not a God damn word.

Hold on a second, there's a
little pasty fan coming up.

I gotta let you go.

Oh hello.

Your band is offensive.

I'm sorry, darling.

Do you want to help
me reshape the image?

You're canceled.

(Moran grunting)

Oh, his hair is so greasy.

I have to go wash my hands now.

(upbeat music)

I want to talk to
your supervisor.

I want to talk to your manager.

I can't, I can't, must
go to the winery, winery.

Oh, ugh, Karen.

Karen, Karen, Karen,
Karen, so ugly.

Karen.

Oh, God I have the
worst hangover ever,

my head is killing me.

Ugh.

Oh, the bitch who forgot
to put sugar in my coffee.

What are you doing here?

You're messing my
closet up, my clothes.

Ugh, first she
destroyed my coffee

and now she destroyed
my closet, I can't.

Uh, clean that pool, boy.

(mysterious music)

Oh yeah, pool boy,

turn around, let me
see those squats.

Show me that white ass of yours.

Yes.

Bend over.

Stick it out.

[Pool Boy] How's that?

How much can you lift, pool boy?

30 pounds.

Can I see some pushups?

(pool boy grunting)

Yeah, oh yeah, I can do 'em.

Just give me a sec.

(pool boy grunting)

Yeah, that's it.

Ooh, you're making
me, hot pool boy.

Now rub my, rub me.

Put some oil on me.

Put the oil all over me.

My pleasure.

Really get in there, pool boy.

Is that good enough for you?

How did you do it to Helen?

The best way I knew,

nice, quick and deep.

Now get my legs,
just get my legs.

[Pool Boy] Your legs?

My legs.

Your feet or your legs?

Everything.

Everything?

I just want to kiss them,

lick them and massage them and
eat them every day all day.

If I could, I would just
mount them on my wall.

That feels really good.

Just keep doing it like that.

You have beautiful feet.

I know.

I just want to
love them, kiss them,

massage them all day
every day as a trophy.

Can you get me some wine?

Wine?

I need some wine if
you're gonna be like this.

No, I don't have any wine.

What do you mean you
don't have any wine?

I don't see any wine around here

so that means you
can't have any.

I can't have any wine?

No.

I'll some more toasties though.

No stop sucking on my
toes until I have my wine!

Give me my wine!

You know what?

I need to talk to your manager.

Why?

We can just get in
the pool or something.

No, no, no, no,

I need to talk to your manager

because you're gonna get fired.

I can't get fired,
it's my only job.

(Karen yelling)
(pool boy grunting)

(Karen laughing)

This is for putting
leaves in all my plants.

[Dallas] Is Troy
really not here, guys?

No, I haven't seen him.

I haven't heard a call
from him, nothing,

no text, nothing, I don't
know what he's doing.

Has Hank said anything?

No, he's dealing
with that crazy band.

Looks like the manager

ended up taking the
money and running off.

See I told you, I told
you that band is bad news.

We've gotta get rid of them.

Listen, I know it's not
up to me to not have 'em,

it's up to you,

but they're not good,
they're not good people.

Geez, was there a full
moon last night or something?

Apparently there was.

Well, you know what,

I'm sure that Troy
is gonna come back.

I'm sure he is having
like a strike against us

or something like that,

you know it's like a
strike for the winery

and he'll be back tomorrow

and he'll be sorry
and apologizing,

begging for his job back
if you let him keep it.

I just hope he didn't
go and do anything stupid.

I need for that damn party
to go on and be a success.

Matter of fact, Alex,

I'm gonna get you to cover
for the event tonight.

I'll give you the address
and the supply list.

I was going to ask Troy
to do it for tonight,

but he was destined
to be sore instead

so this just proves he's
still way too butt hurt

to handle the this event.

Do I have a choice?

Don't go there with me, Alex.

Okay sir, I'll do it,

but can I just ask you
one question, just one?

Which is?

Well is Karen gonna be there

because what am I gonna do
if she starts going all crazy

and how am I gonna handle that?

You just tell her
she works for us

and this is a group effort

and long as we call a truce we
can get this event launched.

Okay, sir, I'll do it.

I'll do it for you, I'll
do it for the winery.

I have your back,
I'll do it, I promise.

Okay guys, I appreciate it.

You can count on us.

Okay.

(ominous music)

(Karen grunting)

(ominous music)

(Karen sighs)

Bitch.

Just like your
fucking boyfriend.

(ominous music)

[Neighbor] Hey Karen.

Hi, how are you?

TCB, we've gotta
take care of business.

Yeah.

We missed you at
the neighborhood

crime fighter lead
group chat last night.

Yeah, I was busy.

You don't look so good,

maybe we should come
back another time.

What, me, what are
you talking about?

I'm feeling great.

Come on, I got cheese,
crackers, wine.

Let's go, let's go.

[Neighbor] I do love wine.

I do like wine.

I got some really good wine.

You're gonna love it.

Listen, yeah, we're
real artists here.

We're trying to make a
difference in America

by bringing joy to people.

Yes we are.

Listen, I'll get
back to you, okay?

Fuck, I can't believe
they're fucking you over

like that, bro.

I can't believe it.

We've been here how
many years, five years?

Captain, you know I
have five kids at home

and a wife that's
addicted to heroin.

I need to get paid.

I told you to leave her.

I told you to leave her.

[Man] I can't leave her.

She's on heroin.

She sold one of your kids.

She sold one of your kids.

Fuck.

Baby, daddy's gonna
take care of this.

You guys gimme a minute,

I'm gonna get back on the
phone right now, okay?

My dad makes a
shit ton of money,

maybe he could hook you guys up.

Baby, that's what my
first and second wife said.

Let's not repeat that.

Okay, I love you, I love you.

All right, listen, listen.

Yeah, look, we'll do a
couple free shows for you.

Listen, listen,

but listen, oh you're gonna
bring the check to the trailer?

Listen baby, see I
told you I'd handle it.

[Man] Does he have heroin?

Nobody's got no heroin, man.

I told you to dump
that junkie bitch.

[Man] Get some merch and
some fucking more money,

we can do so-

He'll bring us the money.

Fuck.

Drinks are on me.

If you guys need
like some more shit,

I can hit up my dad and maybe
get you guys some more gigs

and get you paid,

alright he makes fucking bank.

That's what's up,
that's what's up, kid.

That's what we need.

You know what?

After that song we did the
other day, "A Hole is a Hole",

I think that's gonna
be our breakout.

It's gonna be a hit.

We're gonna have the
best fucking summer.

Dude.

Look, hot boy
summer, hot boy summer.

I got this shit.

It's a hot boy summer.

I can't believe I'm fucking
hanging out with you guys.

Hot girl summer
too, that's right.

My mail, my mail
was not in the slot.

My mail did not go in the slot.

That dog peed on my beautiful
flowers, my flowers,

my, darn it.

Why?

You're wearing white
shoes before Memorial Day?

You're thinking of Labor Day.

(Karen hisses)

Is that the boogey man?

Kids, that's why you
don't don't do drugs.

Trust me, we won't.

Meth is a hell of a drug.

Man, you should be all set.

I'm gonna call it to the
house to help you out

but you got this, man.

I'm sorry to throw it all
on you last minute, but hey,

if there's anybody I can
count on, it can be Alex,

you got this.

I appreciate you coming out

but I wanted to ask you though,

this is something
I've been hearing,

everyone's talking
about this wine,

you know the Amityville wine,

they say it's from
the Amityville

and they're saying
that it's cursed.

I mean, do you believe anything
about the wine being cursed?

No, that stuff's just bullshit,

old wives tales, tomfoolery.

So it came from essentially
a story of a location

shrouded in bad press.

Okay, they got the land cheap
and the location even cheaper

and slapped some urban
legend on top of it all.

But what about the wine though?

Like the one thing
I have heard though

is it's made from the blood

of the murder victims
of the Amityville house

or murder victims bloods
are put into the wine.

I mean, do you believe that?

Who said that?

That's what they're saying.

It's made with blood,
blood was put in it.

Don't pay attention
to what they say.

They don't know what the
hell they're talking about.

More nonsense.

And you know what?

What?

How about this?

Best way of knowing,
trying it firsthand, right?

You go ahead, you try
some, see what happens

and we'll go from there.

(Karen growling)

[Man] Oh shit!

You don't have a
permit to be jogging.

These streets are made for cars.

(Karen growling)

(man yelling)

No, no!

(man yelling)

It's here, the time has come.

Humanity will reveal
its true nature.

We will strip the fabric
of the veil piece by piece

and the thirst for truth will
be quenched with the power

of subliminal speech.

We will be victorious.

We will be invincible.

We will rise, rise, rise.

(man farting)

Oh, oh no.

Oh, let me check.

Oh no, I shit myself.

Oh, can you put it
under your pillow, please?

Oh, I can't help it,

you always get me so
excited, I got this IBS.

I can't help it,

when I get excited, I shit.

Oh, oh, I made brown.

(ominous music)

♪ Oh, these are
my best friends ♪

♪ I'm so excited to
cook you a meal ♪

(neighbor grunting)

(knocking on door)

Hello?

Anybody home?

May I come in?

We had an appointment.

(man yelps)

Oh, oh, I'm Colin.

My company sent
me to unclog you.

You're disgusting
and you really smell.

Of course, let's,
let me see now,

show me the way to go plunge.

Upstairs, come on.

Faster.

How old are you.

Old enough, hey?

Oh wow, this is great.

I can pinpoint all
the issues from here.

The parcel and throne.

Uh oh somebody's hemorrhaging.

(ominous music)

I'll let you know
if I need you, okay?

Otherwise, thank you so much.

Oh, um.

Oh, is this some
kind of kinky thing?

(plumber grumbling)

No.

(plumber grumbling)

This is for all the
people you overcharged.

This is for going
late so many times.

This is for smelling so bad.

All the women you've
overcharged, fuck you, plumber.

God, Karen's such a psycho.

You should have seen her,
she was being so insane.

I swear to God she's possessed,

like she's walking
around the neighborhood

like she's some fucking
like devil worshiper.

It's insane.

Well, Karen's a tough cookie,

but I wouldn't
consider her the devil.

Oh, you wouldn't?

Figures.

What are you, jealous?

Me, jealous of Karen?

You have to be kidding me.

Ew, no, I just think

that there's something
super weird going on,

like she's been having people
in and out of her house

and she hasn't
like, I don't know,

there's been people
that have like,

I swear have been gone missing.

I think you need to investigate.

Well, if you need a
private investigator

or you just need me to
investigate those privates,

it's part of my specialty.

Oh really?

Mm hmm or we could
just have her join this.

No, absolutely not.

Fine then.

What, you want to be
possessed by the psycho?

Does that mean she comes
into me or I go into her?

Oh good Lord, grow
up, but come over here.

Okay.

(ominous music)

Yeah hold on a second here, now.

Put my penis away.

Oh, hey there pretty lady,

you bring that check?

Poly isn't PC.

Wait no, what are
you gonna do with that?

Not the pecker.

No, not the pecker,
not the pecker.

Ah!

(ominous music)

God damn it,

she took my pecker.

God damn bitch, fucking lesbian.

No more holes for this ball,

God damn lesbian.

That lesbian haircut.

(ominous music)

Aren't you a little
old for pink hair?

You better run 'cause
I'm gonna get you.

(ominous music)

Didn't your mom ever tell
you pink hair is for freaks?

(woman yelping)

(Karen laughing)

Die.

(woman grunting)

(ominous music)

(knocking on door)

Oh hey, you live here?

No, but I can get you in, bro,

I got keys to the whole kingdom.

You know this place
isn't much of a palace.

It's kind of a dump.

Well, let's go, let's
get the party started.

Come with me.

Come on, show me the way,
little shrimp, come on.

So I gotta ask you
honestly, do you live here?

Me?

No, no, no.

Okay so now this is
a serious question.

Who in the hell are you?

Me?

Yeah, you.

Bro, I'm Kevin.

Come on, I'm basically
her boyfriend.

Well wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

You're telling me, you're
telling me that you do the nasty

with Karen?
- [Kevin] Yeah.

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

Oh my God, oh my
God, I feel for you.

Ew.

I feel something.

Now, I'm just gonna
go out to my car

and get the things I need.

I can handle myself
so you can go and do

whatever it was
that you were doing

and continue doing that
fiddling or whatever it is.

So skedaddle on, come on
now, skedaddle, clear out.

[Kevin] I see what you're doing.

Oh, this is gonna be some night.

Help me.

(ominous music)

(Alex gasps)

Jesus, could you
be any more creepy?

I thought you were
gonna have this set up.

People are coming soon.

What are you doing?

Karen, they're not gonna be
here for a couple more hours.

Okay, I'm trying to do this
and you know Dallas said,

we've gotta try and get along.

Can we just bury the hatchet
and please be friends?

It seems like you're gonna
be working with us a lot.

You're always at the winery.

We really should be
good friends, okay?

So just let me work here, Karen,

I'm gonna give you a good party,

I'm gonna give you a nice setup,

everything's gonna be great.

Just give me some
time here, okay?

Okay, we could be
really good friends.

Really, really good friends.

Hey, so we do have people here.

Why'd you keep me waiting
out there so long?

I've been calling
and texting you.

Look, Alex, Alex,
still scrolling,

missed, missed, missed, missed.

Well, I don't know,
I have no signal here.

I'm not getting
any calls from you.

You need to get better
service, Alex, goodness.

You know what I had
to do to get in here?

What?

I had to break in
here with a rock.

I had to take a big ass rock
and break through the window

to get in here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, did you
destroy my personal property?

Oh, well I'm sorry about
caring about you, Karen.

Ungrateful.

This is gonna come
outta your paycheck.

Going to kill Mrs. Hargrove.

Gonna kill her, kill her.

How dare he fuck my neighbor?

How dare he?

I'm gonna kill him.

I'm gonna kill them.

I'm gonna kill Kevin

and I'm gonna cut his dick off.

Fuck that bitch.

Fuck that bitch.

Fuck that bitch, one,
two, three, kill Kevin.

One, two, three, kill Kevin.

(dramatic music)

You know, where is Karen?

This is her party
and she's not here.

You know, I haven't
seen her for hours.

It's ridiculous.

Couldn't care less.

She could give a shit.

It's ridiculous.

She just sticks us
with all the problems

and doesn't even come
to her own party.

It's like, I mean, I saw her
earlier, she's not come down,

ridiculous.

Oh hello, welcome,

welcome.
- Thank you very much.

Kenny Rogers got a guy.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you, waiter type.

Oh, mall goth.

Buff Squidworth.

- Alex, Alex,
- Weird.

Simmer down.

I'm bad, I'm bad.

You're the worst,
you're the worst.

I didn't drink any of this,

but I drank some other
wine I found earlier.

I'm a little drunk.

I am.

I can smell it
now that you said.

I know, so it's your time.

You want to try any?

Everyone's gone, it's the time.

I think they need some
help and we gotta save this.

We got other guests coming.

Bitching out, bitching
out, aren't you?

You need to slow down, bro.

Slow down, okay, okay.

(ominous music)

See what's in here.

Oh, Karen's been to Paris.

I am here, you are saved.

I'm ready to do bless you now.

Are you a magician?

Are you a magic guy?

You can like pull things outta
your hat and stuff like that?

No, see those bottles,
look at the picture.

Oh, you're the grapes guy.

Yes.

The grapes.

Yes.

Yeah so you have
low hanging fruit?

(Barnaby laughs)

That's a good one, yes, yes.

Well, the party's in there.

There should be, should
be a live band, and Karen,

I'm not sure where
she is at the moment,

but she should be here soon.

So you can make yourself
at home and go ahead on in

and have fun, gonna get lit.

Okay.

Yeah.

Alrighty.

Mmmhmm.

Yes, yes, I hear the sound
of eternity ringing in my ears.

Well, that's tinnitus
and it's kinda common,

you'll be okay.

Go head on in.

Oh my God, Karen has
the freakiest friends.

Alright, fellas,
fellas, more fellas.

That should be interesting.

I really want to try it.

- Yeah.
- It smells good.

Let me know what
you think afterward.

Hey, do you want some?

Oh no.

I see somebody has
a gym membership.

I can relate.

I mainly focus on legs,
strong calf, thighs and all,

that's my thing.

Soon you will experience
the power of her presence

and the sweetness of her mercy.

Yeah, all right.

(mysterious music)

(Alex gasps)

We eagerly await the vessel

of our imminent transfiguration.

My thirst will be quenched.

Sir, I'll be serving
the wine any minute now.

I have a few more
things to set up here

and I'll be bringing it out.

But did you hear me?

My thirst will be quenched.

No, I heard you, sir.

Listen, the party's
back that way,

you can go back there,
hang with your friends.

I'll be bringing it out to you.

So just come on now, the
party's out that way.

Come on now, I'll
be bringing it.

Come on now, go ahead.

Oh my God.

Hank, isn't the band
supposed to be here now?

There was,

I don't know what
the hell's going on,

but I'll tell you what,

I'm ready for this
to be over with.

I got a bad feeling here.

There's something
definitely not right.

It's very strange and
where the hell is Karen?

(ominous music)

(Karen hissing)

Karen.

(Karen hissing)

Crazy woman, Karen,
what are you doing?

Welcome to my party.

It's time to start the ceremony.

Come hither, come
hither, my friends.

Drink, drink, drink, drink.

Drink the fruits
of my ancestors.

Drink, drink, drink,
drink and be transformed.

(dramatic music)

(men grunting)

(Barnaby laughing)

Let it out.

Release the fury.

(woman howling)

[Man] Bring it on.

Karen, what the
hell is going on?

What is going on?

Everyone is showing
their true selves.

Alex, why don't you drink?

I don't drink while I'm
serving, I don't do that.

It's not cool to be sober,

drink.
- Well, I don't.

Drink, drink.

Let it out!

Cut it out, Karen.

This is not funny, stop it.

[Karen] I'm gonna get you, Alex.

Stop it, Karen.

How did that feel?

Stop it, fucking bitch.

Just cut it out, Karen.

I said stop it, I'm
sick of your shit.

Oh, you're handsy, aren't you?

Cut it out, bitch.

(Karen laughing)

You're such a pussy,

you'd never kill
someone, little boy,

live at your mom's house,

don't have money
for your own place.

Take this, you wine cunt.

(Karen yelling)

Die, Karen.

I can't believe
you're doing this to me.

I will get you fired.

Alex, you better stop,
I'm gonna kill you.

I'm gonna kill you!

I'm gonna get you fired!

Let me speak to your supervisor!

(Alex yelling and grunting)

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

I will return when
the time is right.

The vessel will return
to its proper place

and I will get
what is owed to me.

(mysterious music)

"I'm so sorry to
have scared you.

You just bring out
the beast in me.

Now it's my turn to watch you."

All right, at least you
haven't chopped off my dick.

"Drink me", all right.

Ooh, very nice.

(ominous music)

Oh, God.

(Kevin grunting)
(ominous music)

(upbeat music)

Yet again, another
Karen causes a problem.

This time it's not just
a fight, but murder,

yes murder.

Folks, it's finally happening,

a Karen killed a
bunch of people.

Wine and cheese used to be
this favorite newscaster's

vice in my life.

Not anymore.

Karen you had to go ruin
another thing, didn't ya?

Thanks a lot.

You know, after going over
this story again and again

for weeks at the station,

it's starting to sound more
like a cheesy horror movie.

Each day, we find
out more and more

weird things about this case

and it is some fucked
up shit, I need a drink.

Back to you, Diana.

Killer Karen, what's
next, a killer Kevin?

The entire world is going crazy.

I can't even keep
reading the news anymore.

Every day, these stories
get crazier and crazier.

Well, I'm no longer
drinking wine anymore

and I'm the biggest
wine fan there is.

Tune in tonight at six p.m.

for the top story on
why I'm leaving wine

out of my life for good.

Is this mic still hot?

What a day.

I could use a shot
of whiskey right now.

Let's get outta here.

So Danica, you're trying
to convince our audience

and all the viewers
around the world

that this Karen woman
is a serial killer.

You don't think that
women can be serial killers?

Well, I mean, look at
her, she's a normal mom,

she's like a soccer
mom, she's pretty.

She just doesn't
fit the profiles

of some of the past
serial killers, like-

Like Eileen Wuornos.

You mean because she doesn't
look like Eileen Wuornos

she can't be a serial killer?

Well, no.

I mean she doesn't have to
look like a tough girl or a-

Ricky, remember Lizzy Borden?

Oh yes, Lizzy Borden,

gave her mother 40 wacks,

but when she realized
what she'd done-

Gave her father 41.

Body after body found out at
a local winery in Amityville.

The police are
currently on the scene

and trying to put
together the pieces

of this very strange case.

And after looking over
the facts of this case

again and again, it just
doesn't make sense to me.

I mean, does anyone really
believe in cursed wine?

All right, thank you.

Now it's not my place

and I don't wanna make
a soap box out of this,

but that place needs to
be shut down for good

and never opened again.

Why would anybody want
to reopen that place

after what has happened there?

That's beyond the point, but
either way I'm Casey Anthony,

the weather's up
next, thank you.

I'll just say in all
my years as a newscaster,

I can say that I've never
heard of cursed wine.

Sounds to me like a play to
make people switch to beer.

This network was
originally holding

its giant holiday
party this week,

where we have beer, wine

and that cheese plate
that everyone loves.

Well, guess what?

This year, we're not
having this wine.

Hello all, big news
out in the states today,

a woman named Karen was
killed in the wine party.

See, I was just
talking last week

how wine parties are dangerous.

This just in,

wine tasting parties are
getting totally out of control

in Amityville, New York.

Tune in for a top
story at 8:00 PM

to hear about this party
that ended in tragedy.

(ominous music)

Have you ever seen anyone

looking more serious
in their life?

I'm trying to tell
you, Karen isn't dead.

The body went missing
from the morgue.

Where is Karen?

(ominous music)

Hey, this is Tony,
the movie collector

and let me tell you,
something's up with Amityville.

Weird things keep
happening out there.

We got cured wines, Bigfoots.

What's next, a shark man?

(ominous music)

I'm not gonna lie,

I find women who commit
crimes to be very attractive.

Sure, Carol might
try to kill me,

but if she's pretty,
I wouldn't mind.

(ominous music)

Listen, I'm telling you

there is nothing wrong with
wearing all red lipstick.

It doesn't make you look

like you're some
real '80's person.

What is the issue with it?

Have you ever seen anyone
with muscles like this?

No, you haven't because I am
the only one in this world.

Yeah baby.

(ominous music)

I think Karen seems cool.

I know she did terrible
things to those people,

but she didn't let
people walk all over her

and I really respect
her for that.

(ominous music)

Do you want to know
what I think about Karen?

I don't think
nothing about Karen.

That is 100% fake news and
anybody that believes that

is part of the
problem, end of story.

You know, I have a feeling
what really happened to Karen.

Was she got possessed.

It wasn't any cursed wine, no.

It was a ghost that
possessed Karen

and that's what caused
for her to commit

all of those terrible crimes.

Yeah, that's what really
happened to Karen.

Yeah.

(ominous music)

I mean come on,

do you really think
someone that good looking

like Karen could
commit these murders?

It's a setup.

This is Harvey Kleinberg.

I'm on my break route right now

and I gotta say that
Karen, she's beautiful.

And listen, I don't mind the
fact that she's killing people.

What bothers me is she
drinks too much wine.

I mean the wine, it's gonna
give you cirrhosis of the liver

and a very bad irritation
under you arms,

if you know what I mean.

But listen, I mean
if she's eligible

and she likes guys who like
the chia seeds on the oatmeal,

I'll give her the
red set if she wants.

Yeah look me up, Kleinberg Reds.

So what I'm gonna do
is I'm gonna show you

the best way to do a smokey eye.

Now the smokey eye makeup

is key to getting far
in the corporate world

and I'm gonna show
you how to do it.

All right, have a good one, bye.

Greetings and welcome to
Feldman's Fiesta, the vlog.

You can really get down too.

I'm your host Feldman Hane

and on today's vlog, we'll
be discussing Karen's,

stuck up bitches or alien
wormhole squids from outer space?

That's the question.

Alrighty guys, well let's
talk about Karen real quick.

Like normally I don't go for
ladies with shortcuts and all,

but damn, she is so dreamy.

I want to be her manager.

(rock music)