Abducted in Plain Sight (2017) - full transcript

She was

a beautiful little girl.

Very bright and very lively.

She smiled brightly at me.

And as she smiled,

there were definite dimples

in both cheeks.

My heart went out to her.

I walked up to her,

put my arm around her

and drew her close to me,



and held her tight.

She looked up at me,

her eyes beaming.

And I knew that I had found

the little girl

that I was searching for.

Jan had probably the most

ebullient personality

of any child I had ever known.

She was just so outgoing.

She was our first,

and she was a firecracker.

Jan was kind of my champion.

I was very shy as a child



and she was not.

My earliest childhood

memories would be with

my two sisters, Karen and Susan.

They're younger than I am

by two years each.

Karen's the middle child.

Susan's the baby.

And I was, you know, definitely

the big sister, the bossy one.

My sisters and I, really--

we were really good friends.

I mean, we played together.

We had a good just--

what I consider

normal childhood.

Just real free and easy.

We lived in Pocatello, Idaho.

We had that type of

a neighborhood

that you never locked

your doors.

Always open.

You could trust everyone

in the neighborhood.

My mom and dad were, you know,

very kind of traditional.

Just really sweet parents.

My mom was at home.

I always remember coming home

after school,

my mom would be ironing.

My father's a florist. Owned

a flower shop for 40 years.

I was completely loved.

I was completely secure.

I mean, we were listened to.

And I think that was crucial

for all of us surviving

what we did.

I met Bob Berchtold June 1972.

I was the chorister

at our church,

and was leading the music

one Sunday

and looked down and saw a family

that I didn't know.

Mary Ann had met them first,

and she says:

"Oh, I met the nicest family."

They had five children

and some of them were

the age of our daughters.

And she was telling me

all about them,

and how affable

and friendly he was.

He had such an effervescent,

wonderful personality.

We became very good friends.

And he was in business and we

talked about business matters,

and it just sort of clicked.

We had things in common.

I was in business,

I had a family. He had a family.

One of the first things

that I remember,

we came home from church

and there was

this beautiful fruit basket.

And there was

a little card on it.

And it said,

"We sure enjoy your family.

The Berchtolds."

I was personally thrilled.

"My word,

this is a pretty sharp guy."

My first impression when I saw

Berchtold and his wife Gail,

I thought of them

not quite matching

because she was the quiet one.

But she and I became

really quite close friends.

Everybody had a best friend.

You know, between the Brobergs

and the Berchtold family,

there was a best friend

for everyone.

We had some of

our best family times

when we were

with the Berchtold family.

Berchtold would pick

us up in the morning,

and we would get in the car,

and we would all shout together:

"It's gonna be a great day!"

And that's how we would

start our mornings.

I don't remember

who came up with the idea,

but we'd started to call him B.

Pretty much every day,

he would come by

at night and talk

to my parents,

and he was so engaged

with the kids, too.

I mean, he really was fun, and

he wanted to swing us around

and put a puzzle together and--

You know, I mean,

he was the fun dad.

But definitely his attentions

were definitely on Jan.

Brother B, he used to call me

all kinds of names.

But really the only one that

I really remember was Dolly.

A splattering of

clouds were set on fire

by the rays of the setting sun.

I looked at my Dolly.

Her face was aglow.

She reached out and took

my hand and then said:

"I love you."

I returned:

"I love you, too, beautiful."

I turned to her, put my arms

around her and pulled her

close to me and said:

"Dolly, you've brought

a special light into my life."

I love you more

than words can tell.

She looked up at me,

I bent over, and we kissed.

No man could love

any woman more.

He did give special

attention to Jan

that annoyed both Bob and I.

His fascination with Jan

was a little disturbing.

B was like

a second father to me.

I completely loved him,

completely trusted him,

and felt extremely safe.

I felt like I was

one of his children.

Berchtold had called

me earlier in the day and said:

"I wanna take Jan out

horseback riding

down in American Falls."

Berchtold comes driving up

to my house and said:

"Okay, I'm ready to take you,

Jan." She came in the back door.

I was like:

"Oh, yes! Yes! Yes! I wanna go!

I wanna go!"

And my mom was like:

"It's a school night,

and you have piano,

and I think we should try

for a different day."

"Well,

I guess I could pick her up

from her piano lesson and

just take her straight out."

And I begged my mother:

"Please, yes. Let me go."

"You better be back

before Bob gets home

for dinner."

"I'll have her back.

I'll have her back."

B picked me up

from my piano lesson,

"I brought

your allergy pills."

You know,

"You should take one of those

before we go to the horses."

Downed that,

and off we went.

I must have passed out

pretty quickly,

because I have no recollection

of getting to the stables.

No recollection of the drive.

No recollection of him.

When she didn't come home,

I was a little nervous,

anxious.

Maybe they-- they broke down.

Around nine o'clock at night,

Berchtold's wife Gail

came over worried.

"Maybe I should

call the state police."

"Oh, don't do anything.

I'm sure he'll be coming

any minute, any minute."

And so we waited.

That was Thursday that

they went horseback riding.

We had Friday--

didn't call anybody.

Didn't want to upset Gail.

And this went on

for about two days.

"Mary Ann,

we better get the law involved.

So we can--

We need some help to find them."

On Saturday morning,

I dialed the FBI.

They said the office

is closed for the weekend.

If you have an emergency,

call this office

in Butte, Montana.

I didn't follow through,

because I thought

I don't wanna get all these

people all worked up

over nothing.

And, so, we waited.

Another night came and went,

and then it was Sunday.

"Well, let's just-- if they're

not back by Sunday, we'll call."

I got the call in my FBI

office in Pocatello, Idaho.

I had been an agent

for six, seven years

when this kidnapping

took place.

My partner and I left

the office right away,

went over to

the Brobergs' house,

and we talked to them

for several hours.

Robert Berchtold was a close

friend of theirs, a neighbor.

He was a Pocatello businessman,

a member of their LDS faith,

and a pillar in the community.

He had lots of friends.

They didn't suspect

any type of foul play,

even though it was five days.

I don't think

he's kidnapped her.

He's just gone someplace

with her.

And he had to drill

that into our minds.

"He kidnapped her.

She's your daughter.

She's gone."

We went over to interview

Gail Berchtold,

and she told us that they had

a motor home in a storage unit.

We went out there

and the motor home was gone.

I realized that the FBI

was gonna have to conduct

a thorough investigation

to locate her,

'cause I believed at that time

she was kidnapped.

Power County Sheriff's office.

This is Don Glenn.

This is dispatch.

We got a call reporting

an abandoned Ford vehicle

out on registered

Rock State Park.

The keys were inside

the vehicle.

The side door on the driver's

side was broken out.

There was a small amount

of blood on the inside

of the driver's door.

They found Bob Berchtold's car

with blood on the window.

The window was broken

out from the inside out.

Of somebody had reached

in there to get 'em,

they'd be outside the car

and break

the window into the car.

He left a lot of blood,

so he could have an excuse

that somebody kidnapped them.

We found tire tracks,

like a motor home,

and a set of footprints.

Which leads me to believe

he probably carried Jan

and put her in the motor home.

We knew Berchtold had Jan, but

we didn't know where they were.

It was a nationwide

search. We sent out APBs

to all law enforcement

throughout the country,

even border security

for Mexico and Canada.

This went on for weeks.

There was no sign of anything.

It was like finding a needle

in a haystack.

You didn't know where to turn

or where to go.

You don't know what to do.

You wanna do something,

and there's nothing you can do.

I dealt with it

by having to know every step

of what was going on.

I tried to hear everything.

I was one of those

that stood behind the door

when the FBI agent was in

the other room with my parents.

One day,

I walked in the house--

Jan's bedroom was in the back

of the house in the basement.

I walked into her room

and saw my dad...

lying on her bed

and he was sobbing.

And I don't remember

my dad, uhm, sobbing

or really crying very much,

even though

he's an emotional person.

I think that was the first time

I really realized

that something really bad

was going on.

For those first

about three weeks,

there was so many people

that came by.

Friends and neighbors, and

everyone in the neighborhood

just were there.

So many of them couldn't

believe. They had seen this man.

They had talked to this man.

He was part of their--

their lives, too.

Some of them said:

"He wouldn't hurt her.

He would not hurt her."

And I believed that.

He would not hurt her.

And we love everyone

in that community,

because they were trying

to help us get through.

They loved Jan.

They were trying

to give us support

"We just know

she'll get back okay."

It was a tender time.

It was hard.

It was the agony

of going to bed every night

and trying to sleep and saying,

"Where is she? Is she okay?"

As our investigation continued,

I talked to many people

in Pocatello that knew him

and found out

that Bob Berchtold

had an infatuation

for young girls.

My brother was

always a sexual pervert.

He always did like

his little girls.

I guess he had

a need to fulfill

as a pedophile,

'cause he was a pedophile,

and I knew that.

One time

mom and dad went somewhere,

my brother started messing

with my sister.

But, see, they weren't half

brother and sister.

She'd have been six,

and he'd have been 12 or 13.

This was the first pedophile

case I'd ever run across.

I couldn't comprehend it

at first.

The FBI taught me

"stranger danger".

We'd never call 'em

pedophiles.

I'm sure it was

in the dictionary someplace.

But now I'm hearing

these things

about Bob Berchtold

loving little kids.

I mean, all these things are

just making my skin crawl.

He tried to get to two other

little girls in Pocatello

before their parents

cut him off,

and then he finally found

Jan Broberg.

After that,

his number one goal

was to seduce Jan Broberg.

Robert Berchtold and

the Brobergs became friends,

and they trusted each other,

and that's just the way

Bob Berchtold wanted it.

Part of his behavior pattern

is destroying everything

that's in his way

to get to the little girl,

to get to Jan.

So, he's separating her

from her family

as fast as he can.

Jan and I shared a room

downstairs,

and it was a big room.

You know, we kind of said:

"Oh, maybe someday

we'll make us each a bedroom."

Berchtold came up

with this idea one time,

that we were getting older

and wouldn't we like

to have our own bedrooms?

And he was a handyman

and owned a furniture store,

and I do remember him

building that wall,

and putting a wall

between the two rooms.

It gave him an excuse

to be there.

And to separate Jan

from me, yeah.

He had a way

of flattering you,

doing things for you,

and then taking advantage

of the situation

of trust that--

that he put you in.

We were invited to go on

a boating trip

with Berchtold.

He was not just inviting us,

but he had invited Jan.

I just suspected there was

something amiss at that outing.

I said:

"That's the last time

that I will do anything

with the Berchtolds.

I have no use for that."

We used to do, like,

sleepovers all the time.

We went to

the Berchtolds' house.

They had a gigantic

trampoline in the backyard.

And so we would all sleep out

under the stars

on the trampoline.

And one night,

I remember waking up

and being aware that my panties

were down around my ankles,

and being scared.

Berchtold was laying by me

and he definitely had

his hands on me.

He said I was tossing

and turning a lot,

and that I must have just,

you know, gotten uncomfortable

and--

and taken my panties down.

It felt like it was plausible,

because what was not plausible

was that this person could've

done anything to harm me.

Jan had been on a trip

with the Berchtolds before

when this whole trip

to Seattle came up.

And when they came back, and he

had all these weird stories

about all this stuff

that had happened with Jan.

And the story that he told us

was that sitting at dinner,

she just all of a sudden

started to rock back and forth

and started saying

strange things.

And, you know, everybody's

"Jan, are you okay?"

"I better

take her back to the room

because there is something

wrong with this child."

I remember being carried

into the motel,

and I was groggy and in and out

of consciousness.

Jan had said

that she had woken up

and saw him naked.

Jan Broberg

and Robert Berchtold

had an unnatural relationship.

Berchtold targeted Jan

and he targeted the parents.

He knew that he had to destroy

Mary Ann and Bob Broberg

to get to Jan.

And they fell

right into a trap.

It's like a mouse

going into a trap.

They never even saw it coming.

Never.

Berchtold called me on the phone

from his furniture store,

"Mary Ann,

I can't get out for lunch.

Why don't you bring me

down a sandwich?"

"Okay."

And I started with that,

taking a lunch down on

occasions when he'd call and...

He was a new face in town,

and a new person

that had a great personality.

And had some of the--

the charisma

that Bob didn't possess.

Berchtold began saying

the things to me

that were exciting to hear.

He said, "You have a beautiful

body. And those legs..."

You know? And I felt this

fluttering inside of me.

He could give me a great--

a great feeling about myself.

I was attracted to him.

That was when it began,

and I tried to ignore it,

but I remember the way

it made me feel.

"Oh, my.

I can't feel this way

about him."

I think the thing

that solidified it

was when we went to a church

function in Logan, Utah.

While we were there,

we took a ride up

into the mountains.

Before we left,

we got a little too cozy.

Started kiss--

kissing and hugging,

and he touched my breasts

and things got a little

carried away.

Stayed there longer

than we should,

but nothing beyond that.

Went back home

and tried to be calm

and enjoy our lives.

I thought about it every day.

A lot.

I thought about that feeling

and that touch.

I'd been married for, what,

12, 13 years by then.

And it was an excitement,

an excitement to me.

Mr. Berchtold was

very knowledgeable

in the sexual field,

but he did not have

a good relationship

with his wife sexually.

One day, he came in the store

and I could tell

that he was

extremely disturbed.

"Are you free?

Let's go for a ride."

"I--

I cannot stand my wife

and I--

I need to have sex."

I could see that he--

he was sexually aroused.

"Oh...

could you give me some relief?"

We were laughing. And he said:

"Oh, Bob, it's just kid's stuff,

and I've gotta have relief."

So, I was dumb enough

to reach over and relieve--

relieve him in an act

of masturbation.

I did the worst thing

I've ever done,

as far as...

breaking the trust

and the fidelity

that I had with my wife.

The guy played 'em perfectly.

He wanted to tear down

the defenses of the Brobergs.

He wanted to get them

out of the way.

It's kind of like

you have dominoes.

On one end is Bob Berchtold.

On the fourth domino

is Jan Broberg.

In the middle

is Mary Ann and Bob.

And you just might as well

knock those dominoes over.

And so you have

Berchtold and Jan

and nobody in-between.

The LDS Church decided

that they would counsel him,

and he went to a counselor

in Idaho Falls.

That man

told our investigators

that he had also gone

to California

to go to a clinical

psychologist

who would help him overcome

this obsession with Jan.

When he came home,

he had to tell Bob and I

that he was being treated

for the abuse he suffered

as a child.

"Now, Bob,

this will probably floor you.

I had sex with an aunt

when I was four years old."

It just blew my mind.

He said to me:

"Bob, part of my therapy

is to just spend some time

alone with your daughters.

Would you mind?"

"Well, no."

And he said, "You can call

the doctor and ask him

to explain it to you

if you want to."

"I trust you."

After Jan had gone to bed,

he just laid down by her.

Neither one of us were

comfortable with him doing it,

but it was part of his therapy.

Listen for the waves

in the background,

and she starts caressing you

a little faster now,

and you can feel it

and it feels so good.

Feels so good.

She's caressing you

very rapidly now,

and you can feel it

very rapidly.

It feels good.

And you listen for the waves.

You feel the warm,

soft blanket,

and the blanket smells good.

They were duped

in a terrible, terrible way.

Our investigation determined

that they guy was not

a licensed psychologist.

He had had

his license revoked.

And he is the one that gave

Berchtold these weird tapes

to play as he lay

with her at night.

He was molesting her.

He would always give

her vitamins

and stuff for her allergies,

when in fact

we determined later

through our investigation

that he was giving her

sleeping pills

to make his job a lot easier.

I never had--

I never had an inkling

that he had

sexual designs on Jan.

We weren't-- we weren't

really sure even then

what a child molester was,

you know?

And-- oh, I tell you,

I don't know how

we could've been so gullible

when there were

so many red flags.

But I didn't see

the red flags.

I found the Brobergs

to be naive.

They don't know

things like that happen.

And it was the most

difficult thing--

This was the most difficult case

I've ever had in my life.

♪ We used to fly... ♪

I woke up.

It was dark.

I had the sensation

that I was moving,

but I was laying on a bed.

My wrists and my ankles

both had straps around them.

I couldn't move.

This monotone voice

kept talking in my ear.

Female companion...

It looked like a little

white intercom-looking box

that I could see

to the side of my pillow.

It is time for

your mission to begin.

And I immediately thought

I'd been kidnapped by a UFO.

I was in and out of sleep,

a really deep sleep.

Female companion...

I woke up again.

The restraints were off.

We are called

Zeta and Zethra.

I had been informed

by the aliens,

Zeta and Zethra were

their names,

that I actually was part alien.

My mother was

my biological mother,

but my father wasn't actually

my biological father.

I had a father

from this alien planet.

I was in the middle

of a Christmas story

that I'd heard every year

since I was a child.

You know, that-- you know,

Joseph was like my dad.

You know,

he took care of Jesus,

but really the father of Jesus

was God the Father.

We have

an important mission for you.

Let the male companion

to perform...

The mission was

that I was to have a child,

the child that would save

the alien planet,

by the time I turned 16.

The box said if I couldn't

perform the mission,

they had a backup plan.

That was my sister Susan.

That she was also

half alien and half human,

and that she would be--

she would be taken.

Go to the

front of the motor home.

"And there you will meet

the male companion."

And there on the little couch

of the motor home was B.

It was a person that

I so loved and so trusted,

and was familiar to me.

I wasn't alone anymore.

You know, it was like

this huge relief.

He was covered in blood.

He was cut.

I mean, he wasn't moving.

His eyes were closed.

He looked to me

like he was dead.

And so I'm crying, and I'm

shaking him and touching him.

"Wake up! Wake up!

You have to wake up!"

And so he comes to,

and he starts to tell me

what had happened.

"We were driving out

to go horseback riding,

and all of a sudden

I saw this white light

coming down out of the sky,

and the car started to vibrate

and move and shake.

We must've been taken

by this powerful light."

And I said,

"No, we-- we're here.

We're here, we're together,

and there's a mission."

I completely knew that

he was the male companion,

that together we're supposed

to have a child.

The whole thing of him being,

you know,

this 40-year-old man

and me being

a 12-year-old girl was--

was definitely strange.

The whole thing was strange,

but I also now felt like:

"Well, I'm an alien.

I'm strange. I'm not normal."

I believed it absolutely.

I mean, when you combine

being isolated

and completely afraid,

you can pretty much get someone

to do or believe anything.

Those first few weeks,

I had no concept of how much

time had gone by, really.

I think I was drugged

a lot of the time.

But I do remember him

specifically

going through the cupboards

of the motor home.

And one of the cupboards

had these three or four books.

I knew that the books

were about sex.

And then shortly after that,

the box said:

"We think it's time for you

to ask the male companion

to do what

makes people happy."

I don't remember

the violent kind of rape

that I've heard

other women talk about.

Berchtold would insert his

penis just slightly, barely.

It was always just an inch.

He almost was as concerned

that it was an enjoyable

experience for me

as it was obviously for him.

There was, like,

a little tiny fan

in the roof

of the motor home.

I could look up

through that little fan,

and I could--

I could just look

at the leaves.

There was some kind of a branch

or a tree or something.

And I could just--

I would just look at the leaves.

Just look at the leaves.

If you just look at the leaves,

it'll be okay.

I guess that's how

I got through it.

Bob called me and says,

"I want you to call Mary Ann

and get a written permission

for Jan and I to come back

to the United States

and get married. 'Cause we were

married in Mexico,

but it isn't legal

in the United States."

Under Mexican law,

you had to be 12 years old.

And of course they qualified.

I was irate to even think that

that could happen.

His brother called and he said:

"They want to come home,

but he cannot come home

unless you give him

permission to marry her

in the United States

of America."

"Permission to marry

her? We would never do that."

"Well, he can't come back

unless you do."

He'll be a dead man

or spend the rest of his life

in prison if he comes back.

You have kidnapping charges."

"Absolutely not.

We will not.

"Where are they?"

And then I-- In my mind

I decided to get him home.

I had the FBI come in

and they tapped the phone.

He called me and says:

"I'm in Mazatlán, Mexico."

The FBI was

able to trace the call

to a hotel in Mazatlán.

And I thought

it'd ruin our relationship.

I thought he'd kill me

when he'd come back.

Our legal attaché

in Mexico City was contacted.

He contacted the Federales.

The Mexican police came to

the motor home. All of a sudden,

they came through the door.

They literally, like,

kicked the door down.

They crammed all of us

into this small little vehicle.

I could kind of see him almost

in the rearview mirror,

and just kind of looking at me

like he was scared.

They took us to this

Mexican prison.

At one point, one of

the Mexican police officers

led me down into a lower level

in this dank, dark,

water-smelling hallway

to B's cell.

He gave the guard

his gold ring

in order for the guard

to let him talk to me.

"Tell your family that

I brought you on a vacation,

and that I made a mistake.

I took you too far away.

I didn't tell your family

like I should have."

"I'd been visited

by Zeta and Zethra.

They came to me

and they told me

that there are four things

that you can't talk about."

I couldn't talk about them--

Zeta and Zethra,

the alien planet.

I couldn't talk about

the relaxing pills

that I'd been given.

I couldn't

talk about the mission,

and so, therefore,

I couldn't talk

about any of

the sexual experiences

that we had had.

"You will have

no other contact

with any other men,

you know,

even with your dad.

And if either of us talk about

any of these four things,

my sister Karen

would go blind."

And the threat

against my father

was that they--

they would remove him.

That's how they put it,

which I knew meant

they would kill him.

And then, of course,

the threat with Susan

was that they would take her.

"Your parents

will probably come,

but make sure that you don't

tell them or anyone,

anyone,

about those four things

or you will be vaporized.

They have the power

to take our lives

and also to take our spirits.

We won't even exist."

For me, as this young girl

who had always had

a very strong faith

in life after death,

it was a terrifying thought.

It was probably the thing

that kept me obedient

to what they wanted me to do

more than anything.

Bob and I flew to

Mazatlán to bring Jan home.

We wanted to go and we wanted

to be there with her,

and let her know

that we still loved her.

All of the sudden

we saw our little girl

just waving, screaming.

Wow.

I can remember saying:

"Honey, that's our little girl.

She's ours."

Jan all of the sudden

just kind of went to pieces.

She started saying:

"What about B?

They're gonna do something bad

to him." And I said:

"We can't think about

B right now. It's you.

They'll have to work

that out with the FBI."

"Why did you call the FBI?

I was fine! I was fine!

I'm on vacation with B.

And nothing happened.

Nothing happened,

but we've got to take him."

"Sorry.

We're going home, Jan.

- We're going home."

- But I can remember the tears

running down my cheeks.

And didn't say anything

to Mary Ann,

I just thought, you know,

"She's not our Jan."

The minute

Jan got on the plane,

she wouldn't sit by me.

I can remember the sorrow

that I felt on that plane.

Mary Ann was sitting next to me,

and I said to Mary Ann:

"I don't think

our problems are over."

Bob Berchtold is

arrested in Mexico, brought to

the United States.

He appeared before a grand jury,

and they indicted him

for kidnapping charges.

We had a her examined

by a physician.

That physician said she has

not had her hymen broken.

"I can see no trauma

of sexual abuse."

That relieved us a great deal.

I couldn't get her to

really talk about things

other than:

"Oh, well,

I went parasailing and--"

she would talk about

some of the things

she'd done in Mexico,

but she definitely was, uhm...

you know, standoffish,

uhm, especially with my dad.

I showed her the clipping

of the kidnapping

that was in the paper.

And she said:

"That isn't true, Dad."

She was sticking up for him.

She seemed fine.

She went back to school,

picked up where she was going,

was doing fine.

We didn't have

any real concerns about her.

My thoughts were constantly

about-- about B.

How are we gonna continue

the mission?

How am I going to be with him?

How am I going to see him?

How am I going to do this?

I was separating myself

emotionally

and mentally from my family

because knew that the mission

hadn't been accomplished.

I knew that more was to come.

I told Mary Ann

and Bob not to talk

to Gail Berchtold,

Bob Berchtold.

Don't let your kids play

with their kids.

This is a serious thing.

Stay away from them.

Which they did not do.

It was on Christmas Eve

when Gail Berchtold

came to the door

and asked to talk to Bob alone.

The two of them went back

to the den

and chatted

for quite some time.

Gail came out, went on her way,

and then Bob said to me,

"Gail wants us to drop

all the charges

against her husband."

She asked us

to sign some affidavits.

"If we don't

sign these affidavits,

they're going to expose

the dirty laundry

between me and Berchtold."

I was quite shocked.

I felt terrible,

especially for my husband.

I just thought:

"Oh, no. That can't happen."

So we signed the affidavits.

"My daughter

was not taken by force

or against her will,

nor was she held

or confined against her will

at any time

while in the company

of the defendant."

"I honestly believe

there is a strong possibility

that the defendant was

under the impression

he had my husband's

and my consent

to take my daughter with him

when he left in October."

"I had the right

under the First Amendment

to the United States

Constitution

to keep these matters

within my family.

I feel that the interests

of justice

and society

would not be served

by continuing to prosecute

this matter."

Here's these people

crying about their daughter.

And I'm living over there,

I'm neglecting my own family,

and then all of a sudden

they walk in with:

"Oh, we let her go."

They're covering

their own hide

and not the kid,

which is a shame.

The general public

was not happy.

We had lots of phone calls

from people we did not know

that said:

"Why would you do that?"

The US Federal Attorney

called us and he was livid.

"You can't do this.

We are going to have a trial."

Berchtold was

bound over for trial,

but I don't have any witnesses

all of a sudden.

The Brobergs basically took

the government's case

and stomped on it.

Berchtold moved to Ogden, Utah

to work at his brother

Joe's car dealership.

Gail stayed behind.

She didn't know.

He didn't know.

Maybe he would work there

until he could get on his feet,

then he'd move

the family close to him.

He come work for me and he sold

cars out the Ying-yang.

Super salesman.

He could sell anybody anything.

He continually came home.

Every weekend

he was in church.

Every weekend people were

patting him on the back

and saying:

"Oh, we're so sorry.

We know you've been ill.

We hope this all passes

and that you can get

your life back together."

We were so kind

when he came back home.

And even at that point,

we weren't aware of just

how deep this sick man was.

The first time that I

remember actually seeing him

after the kidnapping,

it was in the night.

It was in my back bedroom

downstairs.

The first thing that woke me up

was the little box.

Female companion...

Berchtold appeared

in my bedroom.

He came in and he would talk

about the mission,

and that the mission

was gonna continue,

and that

they were making plans

and preparations

for us to be together,

and just to keep doing

what I was doing,

and to keep following

the rules.

And I continued to be in

communication with Berchtold,

or he was

in communication with me,

and I would do

whatever I was told to do.

I would occasionally get

a note from someone at school.

"You need to go

to such and such location,

to the phone booth at

four o'clock this afternoon,

and there you will receive

further instructions."

I would get letters from B,

and it would be a love letter

about what he was going through,

and how much he missed me,

and how much he knew

we were meant to be together.

And my natural response

was to respond in kind,

and, you know,

write loving letters

back to him and--

and try to figure out

how to get them to him.

"Did you know

that you're a sweetheart?

If you didn't, I want you

to know that you are.

Our love must be

pretty great.

We've sure gone through a lot

for each other.

Your Dolly, Jan."

The shift from

I loved this man

like my father

to I love him like a husband

or like a man, happened.

She said:

"Mom, I miss him so much.

I want to marry him."

And I said:

"You want to marry B?"

She said:

"Yes. I want to marry him,

and we want to have

children together."

I loved him as deeply

as I've ever loved anyone.

My level of commitment

and love for him,

was as profound as anything

that I have ever experienced

in the realm of real love.

But it was profound,

it was committed,

it was in me in every sense

of the word.

Here's a letter from B to me.

I'm probably 13.

"Hi, Darling.

I awake this morning

thinking of you as usual

and loving you even more.

I remembered you in Oliver

and the night you cried

when you sang:

Where Is Love

especially for me.

Remember the song

from Oliver:

As Long As He Needs Me

and the meaning it had

in the play?"

♪ As long as he needs me... ♪

"Please, honey,

sing it over and over

and know I need your love

more now

than anything on this earth.

Evil forces

would like nothing more

than to destroy us

and ruin everything.

I can do no more than love you

every minute of my life.

The rest is up to you.

Be brave, do everything right,

and don't give up hope.

I never will, because

through it all, there is you.

Forever 'B'."

♪ As long as he needs me ♪

♪ As long as he ♪

♪ Needs me ♪

I heard from him every day.

He would call and talk

and tell me

how much he loved me,

he wanted me

as part of his life.

I kept saying:

"Please tell me.

Please tell me:

"why did you marry Jan?"

He said:

"Well, if you will come

and talk with me personally,

I'll give you

the whole details about it."

And I went down and, uh,

went over to his motor home,

met him there

after he got off work,

and we sat and talked.

He told me how much he loved me

over and over and over.

And he kept telling me:

"We could have a great life

together, Mary Ann.

All you need to do

is get divorced,

come and live with me."

It was not long before

he was holding my hand,

and then was stroking my--

my leg and,

you know, he poured his heart

out and his soul out.

I stayed too long

at his motor home

and we engaged in necking

and kissing,

and then eventually

in sexual intercourse.

I loved my husband,

but I betrayed him.

After it happened,

I knew

that I had crossed the path

that I could never go back

and undo. It was done.

I think it was about four days

or five days after she had gone,

Berchtold called me

and he told me what happened.

And that's when real trouble

started in our marriage,

and it just got worse.

My sexual affair

with Mr. Berchtold

lasted for eight months.

I would say that I was

in love with Berchtold.

It was an exciting time for me.

I knew what he was doing.

I knew that

it wasn't Mary Ann.

I knew that it was Jan.

It was always about sex

at that point.

That was what all of those

encounters were about for him.

After speaking with the bishop

more than once,

"Bob, you've gotta

make some decisions,

because Mary Ann is--

she's on the wrong path."

So, I filed for a divorce.

I was served the

subpoena to leave the home.

I was endangering

his three girls.

I was shocked

that he would do that.

I wasn't about to let him

have my children.

I took the girls, and we were--

we went somewhere on the day

that I knew that she was gonna

be served the papers.

No question,

the worst day of my life.

We drove to a restaurant

out of town.

When we got to the restaurant,

and he told us

that he and my mom were

going to be separated,

that especially then

in my little town,

I mean, nobody got divorced,

and not my paren...

I felt like crawling in a hole

and burying myself alive.

There was nothing really, I felt

like I had

to live for anymore.

It was a tough, tough time.

Two or three days went by,

and he called me,

"Well, you're--

you're gonna lose your wife

and you're gonna lose

your children."

And I just hung up on him.

But I, nevertheless,

was extremely worried.

And he called me and told me:

"Well, Mary Ann,

if you just leave Bob,

I'll find you an apartment.

You can have

a whole new life down here,

and you will be so happy."

"I'm not leaving

my husband. I'm sorry."

He said:

"Well, he doesn't want you.

Look what he's done to you.

Kicked you out of the home.

I know if you will get you

an attorney and go back

and file charges against him,

you'll end up with your children

because Bob's a homosexual."

"That's not true."

I went to an attorney

"I need help.

I do not want a divorce."

"You need

to cut out the cancer.

This is not a good man."

I went back to my home.

I was standing in the kitchen

and she opened the door

and she said:

"I can't raise

these children alone.

And I know they need you

and they need me."

"I will get him

out of my life.

I don't want him

in my life any longer."

We just fell

into each other's arms.

And that was enough for me.

Berchtold went into

court and he pled guilty

to a felony charge

of kidnapping.

The judge sentenced him

to five years,

and reduced all five years

down to 45 days.

He's to report to jail

within three months.

B moved away from Pocatello,

and had bought

a family fun center,

like a game center

in Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

I wanted to go and work there

for the summer.

I begged my mother.

I cried to my father.

I screamed a little.

"Absolutely not.

No is the answer."

That was in 1976,

and she was so insistent.

And she went on to just

become a person

that she had never become

to pick arguments,

pick on her sisters,

to pick on us, to just make life

miserable around there.

She was deciding

what was going on with her.

No questions,

no say for my mother.

Berchtold called me,

"Don't hang up.

I want to tell you that Jan's

coming to Jackson Hole.

She's gonna go out

and get on the highway

and start hiking

if you don't let her come."

"My gosh,

I've got to do something."

Well, eventually my mother

took me and put me on a plane

and sent me to Jackson Hole.

I was livid that he--

that she put her

on that airplane.

"Dear, you'll regret

that decision someday."

The mission continued.

You know, there was more sex.

B told me that he

and Gail were getting a divorce,

and now we could get married.

I am completely

and utterly convinced

that I am in love with B,

that I have to be with him.

And, of course,

the background of all of that

is we have to finish

the mission.

That time I spent up

in Jackson Hole with them

was just--

I could tell they were happy,

happier than Bob

had ever been.

And I don't know why

with a little girl,

but I guess that's his deal.

Mary Ann wanted her back

and was making a lot of fuss.

And she says-- I said:

"I think you better go home."

"No, if I do--

I'd rather kill myself

than go back home."

He put me on plane

and sent me to Salt Lake

and my mother came

and picked me up.

She was angry.

"I didn't wanna come home.

Don't wanna be here.

I want to go back up there."

It was like she took on

this different personality.

She just kept

escalating the tension.

It was a panic.

I had the whole weight

of the world on my shoulders.

I was supposed to save

this dying planet

and the clock was ticking.

He would not leave me alone.

He was going to have her

no matter what.

We'd never see her again.

He told me that.

"I'll take her

to the jungles of Africa.

I'll take her

to South America.

You'll never find us."

"Leave me alone.

Leave my children alone.

Stay out of our lives forever."

And he did not like that,

because he didn't

leave Jan alone.

And, uh, the result

was her disappearance

a second time.

She had only

been home a few weeks.

I was watching TV.

Everybody else went to bed,

and Jan came down the hall,

looked at me in there,

"Oh, come on in.

Come in and talk to me.

Tell me why you're so mad."

"No." Back to her room.

We went to bed, went to sleep.

Next morning, hollered down.

Bob always played the piano

if he had to and--

to wake 'em up.

She didn't come up.

Bob, I think, went--

was the one that

went downstairs,

and she wasn't there.

Instead, he found the note.

"Dear Bob and Mary Ann,

you won't let me

do what's right,

so I'll do what's wrong.

I'm leaving without B,

and do not plan on coming back

until you accept me as me.

I cannot accept your religion

or your screwed-up morals.

I just want to be me

and have B.

Please, before all of us

are destroyed,

let me go. Jan."

The note didn't sound like Jan.

I mean, it was like

he had written the note.

He called

that afternoon,

it was later in the day.

He said Jan had called him,

told him that

she had run away from home

and that she would not

tell him where she was,

and he was worried.

He wanted me--

to know if I was worried,

"Worried sick."

Two or three days went by,

and it was

indescribable agony.

We just told people that

she was with her grandmother.

And of course,

it went on and on and on.

We were so afraid

that the word would be out

and that she was gone again.

Kidnapped.

We just didn't want that out

in the press at this point.

The Brobergs waited two weeks

before they called me

after she was gone this time.

I talked to Berchtold.

He's brokenhearted

that she's disappeared.

"You better catch her.

You better find her.

Somebody's got her."

I knew darn well that he was

right in the middle of it.

Then he got some

good behavior time.

I think he only spent

10 days in jail.

And he moved to Salt Lake City

to live in his motor home,

and he disappears.

But we had no idea

where Jan

or Bob Berchtold were.

He called me

so regularly and cried.

I called Pete Welsh

and told him.

"Just keep

taking those phone calls."

The FBI installed

tape recorders on the phone

at the Broberg home.

This continued

for about three months.

And it was continual.

It was continually

a bombardment on my emotions.

We were desperate to

find that little girl.

It took us quite some

time to search all the trailer

parks in Salt Lake City area

and finally found

the one where he was.

And we, of course,

didn't knock on the door.

We put a surveillance unit

on the motor home 24/7.

Two or three weeks

into the surveillance,

an agent from Salt Lake City

knocked on the door.

Berchtold let him

in the motor home

to ask if he'd seen Jan,

and he said no.

We knew that he knew

where she was.

We knew that.

I mean, he was in love with her.

If he thought there was

something wrong with her,

he'd be looking for her.

He had great, big,

huge poster-size pictures

of Jan inside

of his motor home,

kind of like a mausoleum,

like a worship area.

But he didn't know

where she was.

Jan had been gone

for many months

when our phone rang.

Love you Jan.

Okay. Love you, honey.

The surveillance is

ongoing in Salt Lake City,

and agents observed Robert

Berchtold walk across the road

to a pay phone located

at a Husky gas station

in Salt Lake City.

He had gone to a phone booth,

made a phone call,

and he was on the phone

for about 10 - 12 minutes.

When he left the phone booth,

he left the phone book open

and there was a number

written on there.

We traced the number

to Pasadena, California,

to a Catholic girls' school,

and we called.

And the Catholic school said:

"There's nobody here

by that name."

We explained

the circumstances,

and explained them,

and explained them.

"She probably there

under an alias."

Come to find out she was

under the name Jan Tobler.

The day that I was

kidnapped the second time...

I opened the bedroom window.

He was there and basically

helped me out the window,

got into

his Lincoln Continental

and away he drove.

We drove to California.

He enrolled me into an all-girls

Catholic boarding school.

She was far enough away

from Pocatello

that we didn't know

where she was,

but Berchtold was

close enough to her

that he could visit her

on the weekends.

And he told the nuns

that I was, uhm, his daughter

and that he was a CIA agent,

and that we had escaped

from Lebanon during the,

this was during

the Lebanon crisis,

and that my mother

had been killed,

and that he would

appreciate them

taking good care of me,

because he still had to go,

you know, do his CIA work,

but he would come

on the weekends.

And basically set up

the story for the nuns

so that if anyone were

to come to the school,

maybe looking for me, they had

to know that those were--

were the bad guys.

Those were the people

that were trying to get to him.

Agents of the FBI arrested

Berchtold the next day

for federal probation violation.

And he was taken to jail

and eventually

brought back to Pocatello.

A Pocatello policeman flew

to Pasadena, picked her up.

I was forced

onto the plane to go home.

And then when I was

brought back to Idaho,

I had to go through

the system there,

and I had to be fingerprinted.

I had to go through this whole

thing. I was put in jail,

and then I was taken home.

Open the door, my mother was

standing at the kitchen sink.

I just walked

through the door,

and I walked down the stairs,

down the hallway

to my back bedroom,

and I shut the door.

I was completely gone.

There really was

not the vivacious,

happy, fun...

There was nothing of that--

that child left.

That was gone.

The first time

that all this happened,

she was herself.

The second time, she was a--

It was a totally

different experience.

That time was--

was a lot more stressful.

We weren't close.

We weren't like we had been.

She stayed away from me.

No hugging, no loving,

no talking.

She was just so distant.

I guess the best way

to describe her

was she was hollow.

She was just

without feelings.

Our daughter was

emotionally gone.

The phone rang,

and one of my employees,

he was screaming.

He said:

"Bob, the store's on fire."

And by the time I got there,

the fire was very intense.

We were all there

standing out on the street,

and I just remember looking

at that burning building

and my dad just having his arms

around all four of us,

and saying--

And I remember this

very vividly.

And he just said:

"Let it burn. Let it burn.

Everything that I want,

everything that matters to me,

is right here in my arms."

And I remember thinking:

"This is my fault.

It's burning because

of something I did."

I knew that Berchtold

was behind it.

He was so angry that he--

I think he told Mary Ann

he was going to end my life

if I didn't give him

permission to see Jan.

He hated my position

as her father.

That hatred was criminal.

Well, I didn't think

Bob Broberg's life

was ever in danger

until his business

burned down.

And an investigation determined

that Bob Berchtold

had convinced two guys

who were in jail with him

he would give each one of them

a thousand dollars a month

if they burned down

Atkin Florist,

which Bob Broberg owned.

And they did.

They not only did that,

they burned down a whole

half a block of Pocatello.

They were convicted

and sent to prison,

but we could not

pin it on Berchtold.

Robert Berchtold, charged

with first-degree kidnapping

on the August 10th disappearance

of then 14-year-old Jan Broberg,

is being held today

at the Bannock County Jail...

Motion to dismiss the charge

of first-degree kidnapping

against Robert Berchtold has

been filed in six districts.

A federal warrant

charging impersonation

of a Central

Intelligence Agency agent

has been filed against Robert

Berchtold, a former Pocatello...

A preliminary hearing

started this morning

for Robert E. Berchtold,

charged with first-degree

kidnapping

in the August 10th kidnapping

of Jan Broberg.

Robert Berchtold, a former

Pocatello businessman,

Tuesday afternoon was acquitted

of first-degree kidnapping

by reason of mental defect,

according to an order signed

by Judge Arnold T Beebe.

Robert Berchtold skated

on a lot of things.

He beat the arson.

He beat

the CIA impersonation.

And he beat

both kidnapping charges.

I don't know how many people

in this town asked me:

"How did he get away with it?"

If the United States Attorney

would've been on his toes,

if the Brobergs would've

stood up for the fact that--

"Pete, we've had sexual

encounters with him",

we could've nipped it

by putting him away

and forgetting about him.

He would've been in there

20 years to life at least.

The mission still

hasn't been completed.

There was still some

communication with him.

Not as much.

I think he was losing interest.

I was getting older.

The summer I turned 16,

I had some of the experiences

that I needed

in order to question

the existence

of the-- of the aliens.

I wanted to go to

this five week long drama camp

at Brigham Young University.

And it was a little scary

for us to think:

"Do we dare send her down

there?" But we decided,

okay, it's time for her to,

yes, go on her own,

and enjoy all of her friends

and the people

that were going there.

And there was a boy

in the play

that had been at the camp

who liked me,

and I knew he liked me.

And one day this boy bought

this ice cream for me.

"Oh, my gosh,

something horrible is now

going to happen."

I ran back to my dorm

and my mom called,

"The dogs are

having a bad day today.

I think I fed them

something bad."

Jan went to pieces

screaming and bawling.

"I've gotta come home.

I've gotta come home.

I shouldn't be here.

I shouldn't be here."

I cried and said:

"No, Mom, it's my fault."

And I went to sleep, and

in the morning my mom called

"I just wanted

to call and tell you

that the dogs

are doing fine."

At that moment,

I had a three-second thought.

"The dogs are fine.

Susan's still home.

Karen's not blind.

Dad isn't dead.

Are these people

still watching me?

Are they real?"

And then literally

the next thought

that came to me was:

"I'm just kidding.

I know you're real."

My birthday is happening.

My 16th birthday.

I'm still pretty much

in a panic,

and I'm thinking,

"Okay, if I am not pregnant,

I'm going to get a gun,

I'm going to tell Susan

about the mission,

and if she doesn't

wanna do it,

then I'm going to kill her,

and then I'm going

to kill myself."

My birthday was on July 31st.

The next day I woke up,

everything

was still as normal,

and everybody

was still there.

Everybody was alive.

And just so many different

feelings and emotions

that I had

when I realized that--

that they weren't real.

I knew that I probably needed

to tell somebody,

but I-- I didn't know how

or who or when or--

I didn't--

I didn't know what to do.

I finally told my best

friend Caroline and Karen.

She just started talking

about this little girl

that had to have this baby,

and he was supposed to be

the one to help her do this

and accomplish this mission.

And it was obvious

that she did believe it.

She did believe this was real.

And then I said, "You have

to go tell Mom and Dad."

She started relating

some of these things,

and I sat there and thought:

"Is this-- you know, really?

Is she really believing this?"

And that little girl

went to pieces.

She just sobbed and sobbed.

And it took at least two hours

to tell us about, you know,

15 - 20 minutes of what

we needed to hear.

Yeah, that night was very

significant and, you know,

something that has affected me

my whole life,

because it was--

it was not comfortable

to hear that

about your sister,

and have to have

those visions in your head,

and one that I don't think my

parents wanted to have either.

And I think that's why

they didn't probe more

when they knew

something had happened.

"Well, tell us

about what happened."

It's too painful.

It's too painful for them

to realize that they allowed

that to happen to her,

and, uhm,

they don't want to know.

You know?

If I were to count up

the number of times

that Berchtold tried to engage

in a sexual manner with me,

between the two kidnappings,

in-between, and after,

it would be

more than 200 times.

The cycle of shame

and abuse ends with me.

My name is Jan Broberg,

and I was abducted

and brainwashed as a child

by a trusted family friend.

In the forward of our book,

Mom's book:

"Stolen Innocence"...

Mom and I started having

these long, long,

like, interview-like talks,

and she started writing.

I began writing

the book in earnest in the '90s,

and I finished it in 2003,

had it published,

and then we began speaking

at different events.

Statistically, did you know

that 4 out every 10 women

has been sexually abused?

And Berchtold began

showing up at--

trying to show up at different

events where we were speaking.

Even though their

nightmare began when

Jan was just 12 years old,

the Brobergs say the attacks

still continue. The latest was

this weekend...

Berchtold said:

"If you let these people speak,

they're telling a lie.

The book is not true."

Berchtold

began threatening us.

"If you don't shut

this book down

or get rid of your book,

I'm going to make your life

as miserable as possible."

Mary Ann says Berchtold

canvassed

the city of Pocatello

distributing these flyers

that contained

false statements

and libelous information,

information that Berchtold

was given total access

to the Brobergs' daughter

in exchange for sexual favors

with her parents.

And that's how I came to

file a stalking injunction.

And I had to go to court,

because he contested it.

I think he actually wanted

to just see me up close.

It was so horrifying.

Mr. Berchtold has remained

a threat and danger

to me and my family.

It is a constant

and continuous concern

that has escalated

in recent months.

I hadn't seen the man

for 30 years,

and for about the first

five minutes

I was shaking like a leaf.

You know this is quite a story.

And you have sold a lot of books

- because of the story, right?

We've sold a few books,

not enough to make back

the investment that

we paid to publish the story.

Okay, you told

ABC News that you were

going to make a movie.

Is that correct?

I didn't tell

ABC News that.

I told them that there might

be offers for that. It could

happen. I don't know.

Is this your goal?

This my goal?

My goal, Mr. Berchtold,

is to educate the public

about predators like you.

That is my goal.

Oh, I see.

I hope you do see.

I hope you do.

I cannot believe that you can

look me in the eye.

You have no soul.

Jan, I'm sorry

that you feel that way,

and I would like

to publicly apologize to you

for the hurt that

I have given you.

If you want to apologize,

then you should stand up,

tell the truth, and serve your

time in jail, Mr. Berchtold.

And I got

the stalking injunction,

not for the three years

which was customary,

but for the remainder

of his life.

An unusual confrontation

this weekend in southern Utah.

A woman speaks about

being abused as a child

when her accused kidnapper

reportedly shows up

and starts a clash

with her biker security force.

Jan Broberg-Felt, the speaker

at a women's conference

at Dixie College,

protected today by BACA,

Bikers Against Child Abuse.

BACA members

were outside the event

when a man named

Robert Berchtold is accused

of driving up

and making threats.

The perpetrator ran over

one of our BACA members

and then proceeded

to drive off.

One of the bikers

recognized him and says:

"That's Berchtold.

Let's get him!"

And jumped on the hood of--

he had a Dodge van.

And they jumped up on the front

and was holding on

to the windshield wipers.

So, he sped up

and then stopped fast,

and the guy fell off

and he got hurt.

So, they called the cops.

Bob did have a gun.

We, the jury

duly impaneled in this case,

find the defendant

Robert E. Berchtold

guilty of the offense

of possession of a firearm

by a restricted person by proof

beyond reasonable doubt.

Count two, we, the jury duly

impaneled in this case, find

the defendant Robert Berchtold

guilty of the offense

of aggravated assault by proof

beyond a reasonable doubt.

Bob had gone to

court that day and found guilty.

And then says:

"You gotta come back next week

and we'll sentence you."

"If it's one day in

prison, it's gonna kill me.

I'm not going there."

He had taken all

his heart medicine

and drank Kahlúa and milk,

and so he drank that and died.

He committed suicide.

When I heard

that he had killed himself,

I just felt a number

of emotions.

I cried, and I felt

completely sorry

for all of the people

that his actions had affected.

We have had six women

contact us to tell us

that they were sexually

assaulted and abused

as little girls

by Robert Berchtold.

He actually was found guilty

of rape of a child

in the case

of one of those girls,

and spent one year in jail.

One year.

Have you forgiven him?

Forgiveness is a tricky word.

In my mind...

not forgiving somebody

only puts up the jail cell

kind of around you.

I figured out that I can live

with my tragedy

in a way that the tragedy

doesn't run me anymore.

It's taken something

to get here.

The way I came

to forgive my parents

was by helping them

to forgive themselves.

Yes, they made mistakes,

but it's one thing

to make a mistake

kind of as two innocent people.

It's another thing to make

a mistake when somebody's

orchestrating you

and playing your emotions

and feelings.

I think it's the hardest

for my dad.

He'd get so angry

because he felt so stupid.

"Why didn't I see it?"

You know?

"Dads are supposed to protect

their little girls."

"He was a master."

He was just a master

manipulator.

Berchtold had worked

on my mother for years.

He was very good

at just creating

that kind of a smoke screen

so that he could do

what he wanted to do with Jan.

He was so believable.

And to know he could manipulate

adults the way that he did

and make all of them

believe him,

then you can imagine

what he could do with children.

It would've been different

if Jan hadn't been kidnapped,

I'm certain,

but I didn't feel

cheated out of my childhood.

I'm incredibly lucky.

I'm blessed with

those parents of mine

and my sisters.

I think we did

a few things right

among the mistakes.

We loved Jan,

and that made the difference.

I guess

that's the bottom line,

because it's

such a bizarre thing.

But we lived it.

It's all true.

I have always said

if it hadn't been for me,

that wouldn't have happened.

I felt responsible.

Seeing the hurt

that came to her

and has been upon her

through all these years

because I allowed that man

to come into my home--

I know my husband

feels that way,

but I don't think I can ever

really forgive myself

for letting that happen.

You know, it's ironic

that the one person

that I would most like

to forget about

and never have pass through

my mind ever again,

is probably the person

that I think about every day.