Aandavan Kattalai (2016) - full transcript

Such speed! It's all my weightlessness, isn't it?

If only you tried better at school,
could've become a doctor

Well, education can make you a doctor

but if you haven't been educated

you can start a medical college

you can become a 'giver of education'

Really?

Of course!

Alright, let's pick some plums

Lets do it on the way back?

Cool



Sit still, man!

Hey Selvi! Husband's back home looks like?

Yes!
Hey Selvi! Husband's back home looks like?

Yes!

Vijii!!

Hey! Come on in.

How are you?

All good! You? Here, sit

You left saying it was for 3 months and
here you are 6 years later?

Been saving up, man, to make a trip

Who knows if or when I go back...

Viji: By the way, what's with you also wanting to go abroad?
Gandhi: Debts are stacking up here

All income is going into repayments. Something's gotta be done

You did accounting, right?



Viji: No jobs there for accountants, man
Pandi: As if you went with some Collector's degree

I went on a tourist visa and was keeping random jobs

Dude, what's this?

Viji: That's to block eyes from sunlight. During flights.
Pandi: You could just close your eyes for that

Gandhi: What was that about tourist visa and random jobs?
Viji:That won't suit you, man. Too difficult

Can't be worse than drowning in debts and repayments. Go on.

Hmm. Here's my guy's number. A travel agent from Madras. He was my help.

So planning on going abroad?

I am asking you, Gandhi!
Pandi! You too? Oh God...

Viji said no degree is needed to go abroad.
So he wants to tag along

Look what he's saying! Gonna do this abroad thing and
only then return my jewels

What's all this?
Viji's given me ideas. This should work well. For debts.

And when back?

1 to 1.5 yrs

Look, you told him 4 months ago. About repaying him.
He's here waiting, and now you are going for 1.5 yrs
1 to 1.5 yrs

Look, you told him 4 months ago. About repaying him.
He's here waiting, and now you are going for 1.5 yrs

I am not running away! It will take me 5 yrs to repay sitting here.

Look at your sister, Gandhi.
For your sake, she has mortgaged all her gold. Not even an earring

One last try, Mama (brother in law)

Come.. Let's eat..

All documents ok? Checked?

Hello, Sir

Passport, documents, visa, if all these are made perfectly,
it's only gonna be Rs. 38000

Oh, so 17000 for each of us!

Uh, 38000 is a ballpark. That's 18000 pax

Dude, he's wrong as well. Its 19000.
Sucks at math it seems

Pandi, you have a bright future :P

Nesan! Come here

So, how's Viji?
Pandi: He's great! Business for wife n all that!

Hello, sir!

Not needed for him!

This is Nesan. He too is trying to go abroad

He is a mute. But he will give you all info you need

Ok, sir. But if mute...?

He will. Just go.
Pandi: May be writing

Thank you sir

Oh, visa?

Where are you from?

We want to go to London

Well, passports first then

7600 pax

Create ID for these guys, as usual

We have voter ID!
Create ID for these guys, as usual

We have voter ID!

Voter ID from your hometown are all troublesome.
Huh? What trouble?

No no.. there's no trouble as such.
In case you get into trouble in London...

the police will head straight to your
actual home address as per voter ID.

Sir, what happens if we get caught abroad??

They will deport you.
Pandi: Tea poured for us?

"Deport"!
Basically you will be sent out back home

They? Will book tickets and send me home? That's all?

What use are we to them there then anyway?

Get down!

10 idlis for breakfast, was it?
I can see strain on your knees!

And you, gracelessly rolling down!

Sir! Call for you.

Go ahead

Hey! How come, here???

You left town to act in films, right?
What's all this?
Hey! How come, here???

You left town to act in films, right?
What's all this?

Film roles are too short and I am not finding much scope in them.
Theatre is more sincere, so here I am.

What's your character?
Kumaraguru bhaktan

Then why are you acting like a monkey?
Acting should come from the heart, not brain.

Master, I'll join in a minute

Who's that?
Our master!

He's teaching us acting.
Gandhi: Teach him to smile first

Ssh!
Such a huge nose
Let's shift base!

Hey, how come you guys are here by the way????

You were the one all drunk and sappy wanting to see us.
So here we are!

Huh? Naah. This doesn't look like that

Alright. So here's the deal.
With Viji's help, we both are gonna go abroad.
Huh? Naah. This doesn't look like that

Alright. So here's the deal.
With Viji's help, we both are gonna go abroad.

Dude! That guy's all crooked.
Going to London and doing all things fraud.
Why do you wanna do that!??

Dude, the only fraud I am doing here is going to London on a Tourist visa

But once there, I am not gonna do what Viji did

We need a passport next. And for that help us
get an ID proof at this address

Man! You saw how short tempered our master is

We can keep meeting.. but stay here would be a no.

'Rajesh!!'
Coming!

Sorry dude!
Piss off, before I smack you!

Nesan. I see all tall buildings here.
Can I find a rental for 1500?

He says he is not deaf

1500? Will I find?

Who wants a house?

Hometown? Madurai?
Looks like whole of Madurai is here only

Told them about my commission?

Did you stop working as a policeman for this broker business?
Yea bro!

There is no rest for a policeman.
Criminals criminals all the time

Station. Court. So busy the days are...
There is no rest for a policeman.
Criminals criminals all the time

Station. Court. So busy the days are...

No time for a movie or the temple with family

Everyone looks suspicious

What took me 30 years of police job to earn,
Ican earn in 3 years in this line of business

House owner has two sons. In Saudi and USA each.

So money flows in, houses crop up.
You guys ain't Muslim or Christian right?

He won't rent out to Muslims/Christians

That's so unfair

Money is from Saudi and US.
But house is a no for Muslims & Christians

His house his rules bro. Nothing doing.

Hands off...
Look, main gate will be locked by 10 pm

300 monthly separate rangoli charge.
What's that?

Its like a charge for them clearing the ground and drawing rangoli (kolam)

Just you right?
No, friend too

What! He said he doesn't like my FACE?
Suck it, I reject his face and the house.
Let's find another one

No cooking fish. Guests can't stay more than 1 night

When hanging clothes to dry, water shouldn't drip

No standing on the terrace.
Basically 'Don't Live'

Good morning, Madam.
This is the party

Bachelors?
We are bachelors, yes.
Wifeless. But the mute is speechless

Sorry, we don't rent out to bachelors

Why did she get worked up? Is it because I called her granny?
Madras has NO grannies, only aunties! Got it?

Please wait ma'am, I have a good party with me!

This.. was a wall until yesterday.
Its a toilet now?

All this what I have become now is thanks to MGR

MGR? How?
If he hadn't arranged for lunch at school, I woulnd't have gone to school
All this what I have become now is thanks to MGR

MGR? How?
If he hadn't arranged for lunch at school, I woulnd't have gone to school

Somehow I have managed to build this house with my savings

Give me 10 months advance and I shall arrange for asbestos sheet

But they want to start renting from today

Stay wherever you are right now,
I'll arrange the sheets soon

So, they like your offer. They'll be back with cash from the ATM

- Order the sheets. Just wait here, they'll be back.
- Here?

- Ok
- Okay!

- 8 rupees per unit for the electricity
- Sir! That's too much!

- Bro, in Chennai you'll have to pay the owner's electricity bill too! 'Rules'

- Alright, will do.
Can I get some water?

- Where are you from?
- Madurai, sir.
- Huh?
- M-A-D-U-R-A-I

- So, they don't rent to people from Madurai ;-/
But why refuse water even?

- Precedence, bro. Thanks to the people who came before you

- We've got girls in this household!

But these are good guys! There's nothing to worry.

Well, those girls are waiting for such prince-charming good guys.

- Thanks a lot :-/
- Bye

- Good you guys didn't get this house.
Bad luck written all over

Sir, are you waiting near the Abdul Kalam tea stall?

Shirt color?

Black? Good omens indeed :P

- 'any news on the 1500 rupees house?'

Looks so safe, thieves can never get in.

Owner's golden! 24 hrs water supply.
Breezy & ventilated!

Previous tenants have added things too!

- just a bit concerned if the owner adds new conditions
- we can handle, sir

Hello Mani sir! Here's the party for viewing

- Told all conditions?
- All done! Please give keys for viewing
- Not needed. Its open only

See how Sir is washing his own clothes

Enter with right foot first

Its tough to find such a house in the city for 1500.
Should have charged you more commission
Enter with right foot first

Its tough to find such a house in the city for 1500.
Should have charged you more commission

- Bro, this is asbestos sheet!
- Right, shall we go check the house where concrete was offered?

- No no, this is a nice house. Very nice.

- Like the house? Is it good?
- Yes, we like it.

- Why stand outside, its your house. Come inside

- Take a look guys... I'll join in later

- Look, Gandhi! If he asks, tell you are married!

- Bro, why trap me!?!
- 1000 lies needed to fix a marriage, 10000 to fix a house. Got it?

- So, are you a bachelor?
- No no, he is married!
-Wife doesn't need to take a look?

No, I liked it. That would do.

Lucky fellow! To have such a wife!
Look what god sent me instead

- Why did you make me lie here!?
- First qualification to live in Madras: never be surprised by anything!

Control your emotions! Always talk with a smile

Alright, tomorrow what if he asks where the wife is?

Tell she said "I can't struggle in Madras with you.
I leave that to you. I will live here with my mom"

- So, who are the ones going to stay here???
-Uh, me! My wife! And this is ...

- this is?
- I am his brother-in-law. He's married my third sister

- oh, so you are gonna live with him?
- No, aunty, I am gonna go abroad

- India doesn't suit me. I'll be here only for a short while
- oh, so you are gonna live with him?
- No, aunty, I am gonna go abroad

- India doesn't suit me. I'll be here only for a short while

- Oh I forgot to ask. Your name is ...?
- Sir, Gandhi, sir

- And your wife's..?
- Kaarmegham!

That's a guy's name!

No No, Its Kaarmegha...kuzhali.
Now that's a girl's name

- Is THIS HIS wife?
Just because they own a house in Madras... anything goes?

Advance?
-Agreement?
- You pay the advance, you get the agreement

Thank you very much!

For the kid!

Hey, why so much? We are staying only for few days

Its just basic essentials! And sunglasses for Madras heat

Its all fitting in your small budget

I've already lost 15000 as advance

- Am soon running out of cash
- Its your tension that's burning holes in the pocket

Anyway we are heading to London, what's the problem!?

What's the bill, man?

- Gandhi?
- Turn right!
- right!

Nesan. Here's the agreement

Gandhi, what's your date of birth?

16-05-1985

- wow, you don't look 30!

have you seen his face?

- What's your problem dude?

Put some girl's name in the spouse column

- Sir, I am single
- I know, Gandhi!

British Council rejects visa for almost all bachelors

They feel having a family indicates you will return home

SIr, don't the white people know that we are more eager to leave home once we get married?

- Just fill a name
- Sir, isn't cheating a crime?

Gandhi, I am not asking you to con a girl into marrying you!
Just a name for the sake of it!

- Oh ok, write P. Tamannah (popular actress)

- P?
- Yeah, P for Pandi. Mrs. Tamannah Pandi

You may write G Anushka (popular actress)

Don't write names of your houseowner's wife or daughter

If police comes to verify, the whole family including you will be in a soup

Kaa..me.. Kaarmeghakuzhali???

Sounds like Sangam literature!
- Its a dummy name. There's no one

Just something that came to my mind

- Ask him.
-What did you give?
- Same. P Tamannah!

- Ask him what does P stand for.
- I don't wanna know that shit

- Shit?? Why don't you wanna know!?
P means ...

Tamil news brought to you by cameraman Sukumaran
and Kaarmeghakuzhali

Sit up straight. Please look into the lens

Place your thumb here

please remove your cap

Cap??? This is my hair!

Ok, fix it then

That's it. Done

- So, what do you do?
- Trying to go abroad, sir

Yes, I am here to verify for that. What are you gonna do once there?

Sir, I'll find a job once there

How long you've been staying here?

Uh.. ar...around 2 yrs, sir!

what's this??

For your troubles, sir

I get paid for the troubles

- Sir, it's the usual...
- give it to those who take

Sorry, sir

this face looks very fishy

I'll apply some powder, Sir

Sir, when can we get the passport?

It'll come

If in London they take you for a refugee,
they'll keep you in a camp for 2 weeks

then they'll get you a work permit and let you off

If you don't get a job

don't worry. There's a monthly stipend of 400 pounds

- how much's that?
- around 40000 rupees

so their government pays you 40000
to sit jobless on a couch!?!

- yup!
- Gandhi! They are so benevolent. Why would they deport us then?

listen

not just this. you'll get a few credit cards.
if you open a bank account, they'll even give you loan

spend 6 years scheming with these options and
you'll return home with something like 40-50 lakhs

- So if they are being so nice, why should we cheat them?

Dude, how are we cheating them?

All they have now is heard earned you think?
All stolen when they colonized us

we are just going to take half our share. Looks fair to me

Come Kumar uncle, let's take a selfie

no no, its ok. Let me take a photo for you

yes, that's the camera.
Sir..your glasses ...

- bro, swapping full can for the empty one
- go ahead, pick it up

- bro! Madurai...??
- yeah! How did you find out?

It takes courage to live in a house like this... so asked

- why?
- oh, they never told you? They got you good, bro

- the last tenant was drowning in debts and hung himself since he couldn't repay.
they found out after a long time

- That guy rented it out without even taking that rope bit off!

-Nesan! That broker just dumped this unlucky house on us!

you knew??

- what?
- he's trying to say that every house here will have a suicide backstory, it doesn't matter

- there's the bottle scraper
- boys!

- why aren't you sleeping indoors?
- how can we? if eventuality stares at us from the ceiling

- what? didn't hear

- he's saying its hot indoors, so some fresh air here

- what's that on your eyes?

its to protect eyes from light

just close your eyes, why do you need all this?

we also know. we'll do as we want

Gandhi, your wife's not here yet?

she spat at him when she got called to live here

she's pregnant. 3 months.
doc's advised to avoid traveling by bus

Huh?

poor fellow, only able to speak in sleep...

idiot! he's been playing dumb to trick us

what now

Nesan...sing a song

Nesan.. I'll smack your face with a brick.
Last night we saw... your talking and singing

Sorry guys. I didn't play dumb to cheat you
Its to find my family

Why

I am Sri Lankan. My wife, daughter and I escaped from there.
came here via boat

I got separated from them the day we landed.
Still searching, I haven't found them

Didn't you try printing Missing posters?
Or file a report with the police?

We ourselves are refugees... posters and complaints..we can't

ok.. but why lie to us?

If I speak like this in my dialect, you'd have found out I am a sri lankan

if the police catches me, it'd have been refugee camp for me

as if we both here are in a castle

basically, if you speak in Tamil in Tamil Nadu, it is a problem.

that is why ... Gandhi & I are going to London

you go to the bathroom

Passport's looking good.
Do well in the visa interview

only thing.. this guy's look doesn't fit someone going to London

Kumar Sir! This is not a date where someone's waiting to see me

I am going to make a living there

- agreed. But from here they must first let you go.
- why wont they?\

- Come fast
- Hey, ssh!

they caught him sleeptalking. now he doesn't play dumb

Sir, he was abusing you in sleep

I've put 852,000 in your account. Don't forget.

put 2,035,000 rupees in mine

- that's too much
- as if it is your money. just put

This is not real money in a real account
Just making fake bank passbooks for the VISA purpose

just need the manager's signature.
just sign here as per this signature

The last 'i' is not dotted!

Original signatures generally have small variations

Why?

Even when we sign, it is never without tiny changes

else they will find out it is fake!

Boss! This skill of yours shouldn't end with you

You should have kids and teach it to them to keep this service alive

- Sure, worth thinking.
- Can you still? :P

DUring the visa interview, only answer what is asked

your answers should spark courage and self confidence

yeah yeah

You have a lot of concerns...job... stress... stay relaxe..

Nesan...don't worry. I'll tell them I am going for a tour

No no! Don't say anything crooked like this.
Answer clearly and concisely for every question

All the best

I am the king! Ask me anything!

...be ready to shoot ...

Sir! Good day! I am a reporter for Tamil News
making a small report on people going abroad for jobs

can you give us a small bite

uh.. nah, that won't work

Sir 5 mins!

No no..

You may speak in Tamil. I understand

SO what work do you do?

Sir, I have 4 houses. They have all been rented out

I am also doing small businesses. Lot of stress lately
So I want to have a relaxing tour

Why are you not taking your wife along?

She's pregnant, Sir

- long tarvel not allowed
- congratulations!

Why do you wish to go to this country specially?

Sir, since I was a boy I have wished to visit the UK

Have heard of a lot of beautiful places there

for eg. porth chapel beach, world famous museum...

where they keep old treasures, I have heard

also, have heard Oxford university's construction is like Taj Mahal's

Have you seen Taj Mahal?

- No sir
- I went there last year, its stunning!

Have you visited Thanjavur periyakovil (temple)?

-no sir
- Mahabalipuram?

- yet to see
- Ok, valluvar kottam?

going there today evening, sir

So, first you visit all these local places
UK can be visited after all that

Sir! These local places aren't gonna go anywhere.
Can visit later!

Same with London

Sir! London has been a childhood dream!
These places are here only

no visa needed

but London is not like that, right?

Just give me a visa sir, I will do sightseeing and return

I am sorry

Sir! Are you worried I will stay back and not return?
With my wife pregnant here, how can I...

I'm afraid I must deny you a visa

Mr. Gandhi is again thrown off the train

Hey, how did it go!?!

Rejected

Rejected? Why??

I told as you asked me to, so they rejected

In that case, you surely would have got the visa.
what happened?

The idiot asked me if I have seen the Tajmahal or Thanjai periya kovil

- what did you say?
- I haven't seen yet, so said so

then asked about Valluvar Kottam. I said
I am going this evening. Rejected

- why?
- Chuck it, we''l talk in the evening

- what happened to Pandi?
- who knows

How did it go??

My heart's racing

- why, what did they say?
- they said I can go to London

- W.H.A.T??
- Visa approved!

They selected you?

yeah, man!

- Did they ask about Taj Mahal?
- Yeah

- What did you say?
- I said I've seen

What!? This is your first time to Madras itself.
When did you see Tajmahal?

You and I know it.
That white guy doesn't.

What if I told I haven't seen, and he rejected me
asking me to first finish local sites?
So I said so!

He said he hasn't seen, right?

Why did you lie!?! Huh!?

You lied to the creditors, I have only lied to the white guys!

Stop it! Stop hitting him unnecessarily

Gandhi... you told so many lies in there

but you got rejected because of that one truth you said

Nesan! Is this fair? Winners should hit the losers, but this guy!

- You lier!
- Mind it, you are grabbing a London citizen!Enquiry against you...

May be they rejected him for his name

Hey.. Gandhi was always safe as long as white people were around.

Gandhi! Buy me a tea!

They were able to see that spark within you, Pandi!

Stop it, sir. He is already seething from hurt.

And you are adding me as salt to his injury

- Who is it?
- Sister...

- Why hesitating then

Hello, sis!

- Where's Gandhi?
- He was hesit...

- Sis? Whats up?
- why are you hesitating to speak with me?
- Nothing, tell me

Are you going to London or not?

Remember I told you there was to be an interview

uh... Pandi got selected.. he will leave in 6 months

what!? that doofus got through, while YOU failed????

- chuck it, sis!
- I have told my husband you have already left to London!

How could you! I told you I'll
call you after my interview, right?

Stop shouting at me!

He is fighting with me daily since the day you left.

alright, for 6 months, don't come anywhere near here

change your number and come home whenever
you have amassed the cash for repayment

bye

such temper much waste

The officer selected me because he liked my nature .. my sneeze

He is just upset with all that...here he comes

that tea's gone for sure...

see...

Gandhi, dude... you are the real deal.
When the real deal is in Chennai, how can I the shadow
go to London?

I am NOT going to London

I'll kill you. Such acting!
I'll really send your body to London

Leave him, Gandhi...

Just head home for 6 months while waiting for the next visa window

Do you have 700,000 rupees for me?

Sir, he has many debts back home

They'll tie him to the electricity post and whack him

Even I will be in London.
How will he manage alone?

What say, Gandhi...yeah...

I'll find some job here in Madras

Dude! Here? You're gonna work here?

As an accountant?

Keep to it. I'll be back

- What is it?
- Sir, this is the guy Rajesh mentioned.. for job

Hmm. Alright, let him join

Congrats! Take your seat

enjoying?

In all my years of service, you are the first person to get visa so soon!
- Its my face

Really! Haha

Duuuuude, check my visa out

jealousy! Give it here

Hey you! I am citizen of London, idiot!

Hey! Its just a visa.. that too... tourist visa. So beat it

at least I got that, you ...

timing... timing...

That boy.. Rajesh brought in ..
- Gandhi, you mean?

- how's the boy?
- he's a straight and sincere kid. Doesn't smoke either

There's 300,000 rupees here. Deposit by 11 am

Is this how a king looks?
like a fat cop walking

Guys, I've told you so many times
Stanislavsky talks of inside out and outside in

When you wear a king's costume, you should transform into one!

it's ok ...just walk in

What made you walk like this?

I am dressed as a king, sir

See, what you wear is the character that should seep in

Sir, there's additional money here\

I know. This is for you. From me

Where are your parents? Back in hometown or with you?

Parents are no more, sir. I have a sister back in hometown

Married?

No sir. When nothing's right around you, how can one think of marriage

Well, waiting for the perfect moment is like fishing in the sea

Its up to ourselves to fix things

Nesan! How's this for London winters?

Thats what this is for

Looks old

You aren't going there as a tourist, but as a refugee!
You should look worn n torn

So then, even this is a no?

Sigh

If he gets caught by the cops in London

won't they whack him up?

that sounds like our cops here. London cops aren't like that

No, but lets say if Nesan gets caught for Sri Lankan Tamil

Won't he have to rat on Pandi?

I'm just wanting to know!

Don't worry. You are all safe, no pointing fingers from me

Sir!
- What's up Gandhi?

I've done the bookkeeping...but some 40-50k is missing

Not tallying?

take a look yourself?

You are an accountant, right? Just tally it

- Sir! That would be wrong...
- Just ignore it then

Just ignore it

Our master.. such a senior person.. is traveling in autorickshaw
to reduce company expenses

Let's stay out of it, bro

He was the one who recommended you for the job

and now you want to ....

Dude! Gotta stay loyal to the job, not the
one who got us the job!

even you tried to con your way to London...

don't stop.. speak out...

aren't you both frauds...?

True man, that I tried to fraud and go to London.
But I wouldn't cheat in a job there

Once I land in London...

you asked me to flush my visa, my passport,
and my documents down the drain...

Why, Sir?

to destroy evidence of your whereabouts

why shouldn't they know I am coming from India?

If they have to believe you are a refugee,
you shouldnt be having Indian passport

Pandi!

- There is nothing to worry!
- ok, sir

- Please come.
- Hello, sir!

In these 2 years, how many times have I asked you for the accounts?

Don't look at him

I am the one asking. Answer me

Sir, actually...

How much has he pocketed monthly?

Sir, nothing like that.
Around 40-50k is unaccounted for

UNACCOUNTED MEANS HE STOLE IT!

Sir, I didn't take!

If I handle the money, I feared I'd lose my artistic soul.
That's why I handed you that task

Sir... I will return the money

really sir

He'll return the money now. Hah!
What about the trust I had on him!?!

Get out!

Sir... I am a family man...

Everyone who makes mistakes has a family

You should've thought of the family before doing this

Hey actors, come here

Are you guys even actors????!!

2 months of rehearsal and sacrifice
for a measly 2 lines to learn!

look at this guy. He's been acting before me for 2 years!
Couldn't even tell the difference

He's a great actor. You have to learn
from him, not from me!

- Please sir!
- Get out!!

- What!?
- poor guy...

It's my sympathy that has brought me to this stage now

Do you know how he joined here?

He was the one to find out the previous manager was stealing

I was like he is so sincere..and look now!
Worse than that guy!

Such lying scoundrels!

Where's the door....how did
they keep the bottles inside...?

- What took you so long?
- Got late. Where's Pandi?

Pandi!

Tell me , Nesan!

Whats all this?

[Pandi inserts Rajinikanth reference]

There should be no proof of you having come from India.

This t shirt... if they see ...
Anyone can tell you are from Tamil Nadu

As if I just have to take this off and
I will look American..

Our superstar is the only ID that is global...

You have a cursed mouth Pandi.
Shut up and listen to him

- Ok what do I do?
- Go inside first, and change tshirt before boarding

for now, get in the line!

You guys not going home?

- Go carefully
- Leave all that to me, you get going

Good morning, Gurkha Sir

As if he was born n raised in London

Gandhi!?? What are you doing here?

I had some work to do... how come you are here?

We came here for a protest

Oh all of you are here...

By the way, your brother in law has been saying
that you have gone to London to clear debts.

then what are you doing here?

I'll be gone soon!

Where's Pandi?

- He's gone...
- GONE??

I mean I sent him to London.
I will follow shortly

bro, you did not see me here

I have already gone to London

If anyone asks back home, don't blabber

alright, get going

it takes a seed so small to make a tree so big
no one realises

similarly, a tiny lie can blow up into something huge...

Guys, I have got a happy news for you

I know! I know!

Our drama has been selected for the London International Theatre Festival!

Whoever has a passport, give it to Iyyer.
Those who don't, apply immediately for one
It is important

Mr. Gandhi, you too are coming with us

Sir!..
- What?

- I am not acting Sir. How can I...

Iyyer!

"Gandhi, Manager"!

You are a manager now! Wow!

Hey, are you married?

No, why?

Here it says Kaarmeghakuzhali in Spouse section

That was written when I was trying to
go abroad for a job

What! Oh man... come here

huh?

- just to go abroad, you added this name???
- yeah

- Bloody crooks! If master gets to know of this fraud...

How much trust does that man have in you!!!And you...

You've gotta go get this name removed.
Bring it once done

Hellloo Sir!

Hi, mama (uncle/brother-in-law)
When did you come?

Wow, so this is London.
Looks so grand!

Mama, I tried. Got rejected.
I'll go soon at the next attempt

Lying to me about London is still fine.
Why did you lie to your sister!?

She is the one who pitied you and sold her jewels to give you money

Hey, take him indoors, he is a guest

- I invited, but he's not coming in.
- please lets go inside

- let's sit inside and talk.
- I didn't come here to sit and eat and all that!

Its my workplace here. Please don't shout

so now you are the big officer and I am jobless guy?

I gave you my money and now my business is stalled!

I didn't mean that, mama

He is your brother in law, no? Please adjust a bit

Now you're gonna tell me who I lent money to

You know they always say ...you can be all cordial and welcoming
with you rbrother in law, but never talk money. So true

You gave me the money keeping my sister's wedding gold as collateral.
Just reminding you

dude, shut up!

what!

You guys will only give, and you guys will only take it too?

As per the marriage agreement you guys still owe me the 56g gold
that was promised with first born!

Such words, from you! Great

Please forgive me...Sorry, mama

What Sorry! When will you repay me...

Gandhi... what's all this?

Mama, please, for 2 mins...

Whats the problem?

Who are you?

Master... he is my ... I am working for him

Sir, he is my brother in law. I owe him some money.
We were just discussing that...

No sir, he owes me no money
Sir, he is my brother in law. I owe him some money.
We were just discussing that...

No sir, he owes me no money

He has taken back the jewels he gave as part of his sister's wedding. Apparently.

Still some 56grams are remaining.
Gandhi, you keep that. and take your sister back too

Mama! Why all this...

How much is owed?
Mama! Why all this...

How much is owed?

- Sir, I will handle...
- Its ok Gandhi, tell me how much is it

Not a lot sir, 600,000 rupees

uh...

He will return it

Trust him.
- yeah, trust me, mama

London...

You've just been loitering here saying you are going to London

There is no going to London for you.
London has to come here for you

Sir.. I am the one who hired him.
And I am planning to take him to London

He'll definitely repay you

If he cannot...

then I'll get you the money

Sir, no..!

It's ok... I can understand the situation

Ask him to eat and go

See, for a fresh Passport application
you can leave the spouse column empty or put any name

But when it comes to removing a name from a passport
the rules are limitless

how about if I apply for a new passport under lost passport?

even so then, they will ask for the same old records to
prepare a new passport again

and that would lead to the same girl's name, again

Alright, how about we start with a clean slate!?
Fresh application. 'Bachelor'

Well, any details would do. But your face...

Your biometrics, eye color and all that data is in their database

Just go and come clean to your master!?

Mr. Nesan... I am trying to do all this
to save my face in front of that big hearted master

Won't he worry that you are not trustworthy anymore
since you casually lied about a wife for a job?

Nesan! It sounds like a cow slurping!
Can you not!?

Gandhi.. There's a guy in the passport office I know

Yes, what do you want?

Sir, I need to remove my wife's name from the passport

Kaarmeghakuzhali...

- Have you removed your wife?
-Sir?
- Divorce...?

Divorce?? Sir, I am single

Single?? How come you have a wife's name in the passport?

According to IPC 1967 Indian Passport Act ....

This is a huge crime!

Sir! I didn't try to do any fraud

We were trying to go to London on a tourist visa.
They asked me to put a random name for wife section, so I did

- Didn't Kumar sir tell you this
- Nope, he didn't tell me all this

If I remove your wife's name form here,
they will remove me from this office

There, you see that guy...

- Who's that, sir?
- newly joined regional Passport Officer

If you had told him what you just told me..you're dead!

Dead??
- eaten alive!

Sir.. any other ways?

If you go by the government procedures, no.

You guys go outside. Find this chap Hariharasudhan

Tell him I sent you. He'll show you another procedure

- What would Pandi be doing?
- Haha, he will be teaching a white girl English

Why, you worried for him?

He will swallow London. Last person to be worried about

Hello...?...Cheap fellow, giving missed call!

- Gandhi ...
- Hariharasudhan? ...
- I was that missed call

Hello sir

Right, so you want your father's name removed from the passport?

Not my fathers... my wife's ...

Remove wife's name? planning for next marriage?

No. Made a mistake putting a girls name while applying for tourist visa.
Now want it removed. Didn't he tell you?

He didn't say anything.
Such crooked cases he will shove at me

This not like the normal ones that can be dealt
with an affidavit

I know a senior lawyer. Here's his number.
Go meet him

- Lawyer? Why?
- This needs a divorce!

I'm gonna go check upstairs

[Judge] She wants 7000. What do you say?

Your honor... he is struggling for food.
How can he give 7000?

He doesn't look so. How much are you drinking?
See, she is asking, so now is your turn to tell us how much you can

- 1500!
- No your honor. He earns well. I want 7000

He is a porter! What are you even asking?

- Again, they want 7000. What are your thoughts?
- You rhonor, I have no income!

How can you be trusted?

2000, your honor?
- Yes your honor! 2000 works! See

- [judge] He is willing to give 2000...
- No your honor I want 7000

Woman! He is yet to pay me fees.
How can such a guy pay you 7000?

Madam! Is actor Sanjay's divorce case hearing here?

- What? Actor Sanjay's divorce hearing is happening here? Where?
- NO , that's what I am asking

Not here

Hi! Visa office... interview... do you recall me?
Can you give a soundbyte now?

Madam, we are waiting downstairs

Sir, 5 mins!....2 mins!!!

[Judge] This is going nowhere... Attorney! Its down to you guys
sorting it out and agreeing to a settlement amount

Sir, the party is waiting here

This is Gandhi.. this is Nesan..
Sir is S. Mahamuni Chandrasekharan

- Sorry got a bit late.
- Its ok sir

Shall we talk as we walk?
So what do you want?
- Sorry got a bit late.
- Its ok sir

Shall we talk as we walk?
So what do you want?

What I do for you?

- I need an urgent divorce, sir.
- Urgent? Uh.. ok..

Are you two separating or you want a mutual divorce?

Anything is ok, sir. I just need it soon

Anything? huh. okay.
Any problems from your wife?

- No sir, she is not there.
- She died?

No no. I am actually single

- Single?? Well, that means we have to stop walking.

It is already hell to get a married man divorce
and here you are .. 'single'

There have been 4487 divorces granted last year alone

some are maintenance cases

But your case... this is a first.. very tough

- Sir, its not that tough. There's an easy solution
- How?

Sir. Let's get a marriage certificate made first from the registrar's office

Then you can bring it under 13B mutual.
I can apply for an affidavit in the girl's name

Well, even if you do that, they'll check for original proof certificates
and both parties need to be physically present
for first hearing

This will be a mutual. Appearance can be avoided

- It's doable!
- Okay

As a senior advocate, I don't usually take such cases.
This time, just for you

There's a way. Find some girl with the same name
and get their ID proof

- What!? Where do we go find a Kaarmeghakuzhali?
- No other go. Try to do this first

Have rummaged through Facebook and all social media.

There is no kaarmegham...

neither is kuzhali. neither separate nor together

Sis... Chutney!

Pour in the centre

Shall we search on matrimony sites?

Right, as if you are bride hunting for me

You should check the ladies college side

Sir, it's wrong to eavesdrop. And here you are with free advise too.
Eat your food

Hey here's a photo!

Surely this old lady would not be alive...

even if she was alive

She can put some make up and be brought to court

Reason for divorce: age difference!

But what if they ask how you didn't
know this at the time of marriage?

That's the only problem

Wash your hands! And shut your mouth!

Such useless ideas...

Oh shit.. this lady

She was at the embassy the other day.
And today at the court too. And now TV.

[..reporting for Tamil News with cameraman Sukumaran;
Kaarmeghakuzhali]

WHAT!?

Tamil News channel!

Thank you all for coming here.
I called this press conference to clarify a few things

Sir our job is not to stir a storm...

Whatever you say, we write

You shouldn't misunderstand and write things,
that's what our leader said at the start

Sir, Kaarme..

What? A car?

Kaarmeghakuzhali... Do you know who is she here?

Sir... first row

there, that's the one... with crossed legs

So you mean to say its all wrong?
Women are responsible for anything wrong befalling women?

Sir, don't take any offense, but...

You are from a Tamil channel, right?
Then ask in Tamil!

Ok sir, we shall continue in Tamil

Respected Sir, please don't misunderstand me, but have you
paid attention to how your daughter dresses?

My daughter dresses decently

My daughters have had an upbringing full of Tamil culture!

Oh yeah? Just a minute, sir

Have you seen her whatsapp picture?

This is not my daughter! This is photoshop!

This is not photoshopped, sir. Its your daughter

Hey lady, you are here just to create trouble! Get out!

-Why should I leave???
- Just a sec, give me your cell phone!

What is that whatsapp photo you are showing!?

Who are you? Why should I show you?

- You better stop making trouble, lady!
- Who here is the troublemaker!?

We will cancel this press meet!

- So, we should remain silent?
- Please stop inviting trouble.

- What are you saying? I won't go.
- Get out!

If you speak without respect, I'll slap you!

Oh yeah? You? will lay hands on me? Just try!

First go brush your teeth. We shall speak then

Dude, let's leave.
- no no wait

Hey I don't want to get whacked here

Already I am a refugee

This woman's smacking the minister itself

- Lets go

- Hey that's her! Go! Talk to her.
- What!? You go!
- No, you go

- Go now and talk Nesan! I came here trusting you. Go talk. Please!

Please Nesan. Don't make me beg you in front of that girl.

Please..go..

- Excuse me , madam! Hello.
- Hey, how come here?
- I wanted to speak with you...

Tell me

that interview you had asked for...
shall I give now?

Oh well. That programme's done. Telecast twice last week too

Madan! I have a sensational news for you

Scared to send to other channels.
- Really?

- Ok, what is it?
- just a minute

Gandhi! Come here

This is my friend Gandhi.
We both came here from Sri Lanka

Poor chap... he is a mute

He is asking 'how are you?'

Madam, shall we speak in detail some place?

Ok, tell me

Have you heard of the '83 riots?
- Yes

Gandhi lost his entire family in those riots

Do they name people Gandhi in Sri Lanka?

Of course. We have a Gandhi in our text books too

There are many such Sri Lankan Gandhis
in Tamil Nadu here

We just found out that Gandhi's
mother and sister are actually alive!

They are in London

He's applied for visa to go to London

But they rejected him

But he didn't lose heart

He joined a drama school

In a short time, got promoted to manager

- Now he has a chance to go to London.
- Then, why hasn't he gone yet?

There is a small problem

In the spouse column of his passport,
there is a girl's name

What do you want from me?

Well, so the thing is, they told at the passport office
to get divorce from a person with same name
and remove the name from passport

How can a woman give you strangers her documents?

Won't it cause her trouble?
- No no!

We just need the photocopy of the documents.
Nothing will happen to her

So then she is broad minded?

not concerned with what the society thinks...

and someone who has a helping tendency, right?

you'll not find a woman like that

Tsk... sir!

Sounds like a donkey slurping away at the coffee!
Please drink silently

Well, what's this got to do with me?

Hey, take the passport out

'K-A-R-M-E-G-H-A-K-U-Z-H-A-L-I"

Thank me.

-Why?
- For not slapping you two!

Idiots! Total time waste!

Interval

Sir, we both barely made it out of there without a slap!

Wait..
Sir, that girl is short tempered

Is it? She won't publish all this in news I hope

- No sir, she is a nice girl.
- If she was nice, she should have helped you

- No Sir, she..
[cop] - Sir, do you have a change for 500 rupees?

- I have not seen any change...
- Do you have?

[Nesan plays dumb]
- No sir

Sir, check the wine shop nearby! You'll get the short changes

Cops never have the need to return any short change.
Is he even a real cop?

By the way, why did you become mute on seeing the cop?

I don't have a passport, sir.
If they catch me, its camp.

And you, why are you playing dumb before that girl?

He told her I am a Sri Lankan. If I start
speaking, she will get to know from my Tamil

Oh. All these are your ideas?

Basically, if a problem comes, go mute.

- Sir, is there any other way?
- Nope, she is your only option

She was coming from a heated press meet

You should've picked a different time

Sir, if you find her alone, just fall at her feet

Don't feel ashamed

To get your work done,
there is no shame in falling at someone's feet

That was a super idea.. with the petrol

"Please do us a favor"

- Who are they?
- No, they looked like my wife and daughter. But no. Poor thing
they got scared

Gandhi!
- Sir?

- Where's your passport?
- Sir... I lost it

What is this? How can Gandhi's passport go missing?

Sir, you apply for the visa.
Passport will come
- Sure?

- There's very little time, watch it.

Hello! He's asking how are you

We tried calling you on your mobile.
Since there was no response, we went to
your office and got address

Mom!, how can you let anyone stranger in and make coffee for them???

No, its just water

Won't you ask their whereabouts?

They want to give you some news it seems

They tried your phone number for 2 days, they say

They said they want to meet you.
That's why I made them sit here

See, they gifted a painting too!

So nice it is, we can hang it in the hall

Poor guy, look at him.
He seems nice

- poor chap is mute though
- Mom! Tsk...

What do you guys want?

Ma'am, you know...

There's no way you'll get what you want

Where's Vandaarakuzhali!?!
- Boss, her name is Karmeghakuzhali...

Sigh..these guys too?

- Who asked you to come here???
- Where else would we go!

You take money from us and make us beg you?

- We have other work too!
- Boss, forget the interest, just ask for the principal

Hey, you better not invite trouble.
Just return our amount, and we will leave

- Don't forego the interest!
- Don't shout!

[Mom] One day its the politicians,
next day these creditors.
Such pain!

This girl's no less.
Has a charm for inviting trouble

- We know. We have seen her in action.
- So why are you two here?

We had asked her for a small favor

Favor? From her? Heh..

She wouldn't lend a pencil to her best friend in school.

It's down to her mood

- Call me tomorrow.
- But you don't answer!

Alright, I will answer if it comes from your number

What's this? Why are you shouting here?
There are only women here.

Well, you two are men. Let's talk.

He is a mute. I will speak for him!

- How much does she owe you?
[KK] - Hey, listen to me..

- How much?
- 13000 boss
- Why are YOU asking for it??

- What are you doing!?
- Give us 13000!
- Ok, 13000

Excuse me!... Please listen to me

- That's 15000.
- 2000 is my tip for you three

- apologize to ma'am, and get going!
- he is the one who lent, why should we apologize?

For all this ruckus you 3 should apologize!

Sorry, madam

Get going!

- Where next?
- Lawyer Jayaganesh

DON'T EVER COME THIS SIDE!

... why even lend money to such people?

- Are you idiots?..Mom, shut up.

This money wasn't for me to return!

My friend borrowed. I just signed as a security.

Do you idiots get it now?

- Why didn't you tell this before?
- You didn't even let me!

You just gave the money off!

Its not my money

Its his...

- they tried to help you dear...
- You just go inside, Mom

- never listen to me..
- please go!

Nesan! Come, buddy. Come, sit!

Sit!

- Sorry, Gandhi!
- Leave all that!

At that end, when they were walking away,
you said something right? What was it?

Told them not to return...

- with the hero tone you used there!
- 'don't ever come this side!'

Why would they!? They are the one's who got full cash!

What I really loved was how you took
my money and gave 2000 tips to them! Chanceless

(Lights On!)

Gandhi!?

New passport's arrived?

Sir, verification stage

I know a guy in the passport office.
Shall i have a word?

No need , sir. Let it come normally

Haha. Saying no to shortcuts... Gandhi... good

- Sabha...!
- Master, I'm Rajesh

Its ok, I will tell by myself

Look at this man!
He's forgotten who I am, but remembers you
who just came yesterday

Don't laugh!

(lights off)

- hello, who's this?
- Is Nesan there?
- Nesan!?!

- He is not here. Who's this?
- I am Karmeghakuzhali.

- Huh!?
- Karmeghakuzhali!

- Uh, is Gandhi there?
- Yes!

- But he can not speak!
- I know all that. Just give him the phone

Gandhi! (acting...)
Call for you!

'They wan't to speak with you!'

He's coming

What's happening!?

Hello, Gandhi! This is Karmeghakuzhali

Gandhi... oh.. carry on...

I decided to give you the ID documents

When to meet tomorrow? Morning or evening?

Sorry sorry! I'll ask again!

Say haan once for morning, twice for evening

Ok, morning it is. See you then! Bye

- Sir, you were saying?
- The passport can wait, just give rest of the details
to Iyyer for the visa application

- Dude!
- Calm down.

- You are tricking that girl, Karmeghakuzhali!?
- Nesan introduced me as a mute. What do I do?

How did she change her mind?

Must have pitied us. Refugees begging and all that. Why?

Naaah. Its the 15000 I gave. That worked.

Hey, she doesn't seem the helping for money type

She's sympathized with us. That's why

Come come!

This is why most of the divorces work. Apologize to her.

How many times have I told you not to sit here?

Tea or coffee?

Oh, yeah you are a mute...

Excuse me! Don't call him a mute.
Call him a handicap

Yes, of course! He is handicapped...vocally handicapped.. of course

Ok,, precisely what should I do?

Just give us a photocopy of your proof of birth.

Using that, we can apply for mutual divorce,
and send him abroad

- Ok, in this how can you be so sure I won't face any problem?
- No no, no problem!

Even if there's trouble, just maintain your birth certificate and other proof
vanished as the whole file itself

We'll tell that someone stole it and misused it

If need arises, we can arrange a predated FIR saying you had complained already

There's a way for all blocks

Fine. Let's do this.

If any mishap occurs with all this...you'll see what I will do!

We have seen already, madam

Take a photocopy of this voter ID

Can we have a passport size photo?

Passport size photo?? For what?

for the form only...

They didn't tell all this!

Must have missed it

There'll be no problem.
You can say the vanished file had that photo

Ok, ,let me check

Wait here

Mom, do you have any of my passport size photos?

See, this is why I made so many prints that day. You
just scold me for everything. See, now at the
time of need...

Ok, give me

So many photocopies? New job, is it?

- Yes.
- That's what I thought... 4 months, slogging at this job

never settles down this girl

Mom, can you serve them some coffee?

Coffee's ready. But I didn't serve because you will say something

- Shall I?
- Yeah, give them

Please sit

Mom will bring it

Dear... shall I put this jean for wash?

It's been 3 days! Same jean

Ok ,mom! Go!

Mom's like that...

- You lost your voice from birth itself, or?
- Mom!

- I asked just like that... Poor chap

As a child he was once chased by a rabid dog.
He ran shouting, and lost his voice in the process

Not one but ten dogs

If you marry a white girl, send me pic on whatsapp

Would like to see how your wife is

Make a signature for Karmeghakuzhali

Who's that?

The girl I am going to divorce without even getting married to

- I won't do it.
- Why?

We will pay you. Put sign.

I don't wish to play with a girl's life.
So I won't do it

The girl herself agreed to all this.
- So be it!

- Just have to draw like this, thats it?
- Yes. Here.

I began all this. Let me end it.

Sir? Divorce? First time?

Don't worry! Everything will be alright!

Initially it will be like that only.
For me it is 4th time

I am a regular customer at this court

Arranged for the next marriage?

Don't do all that.
"Living together" option is the better one

Cost effective! I am also thinking along those lines!

Do you see her? Brown saree?

That's my wife

We were quite happy right after marriage.... then...

Please sit here

Hi. Here for divorce?

You know everyone who's getting divorced?

No... THis place is more crowded than marriages

You just don't feel like getting married when you see all this

Well, you need not worry. You are here
for straight up divorce

It's a different judge.
- WHAT?

Yes, sir. Change incoming

- What happened to him?
- His mother in law died

- Who's the replacement?
- Santhakumari

[I asked you to be careful!]
- What can I do if his mother-in-law dies!?

- Can we withdraw the case quickly?
- Already gone to her table.

- You got the fees as well. What now?
- Dammit!
- [Gandhi]: Any Problem?

What's our number?

[1A2829/2016... Gandhi...]
- That's us. Go

[... Gandhi...Karmeghakuzhali!...]

What's this? How many times to call?

- Gandhi?...
Karmeghakuzhali?...

Hello, mister! Yes, you. What?

- She's not come, ma'am.
- Did you know this in the morning?
- Yes, ma'am

Then why looking around for her?

- uh, this one's mutual consent...
- So?

Don't you know that both parties should be
present for the first hearing? Don't you
instruct your client well?

Aren't you hanging out around here for the last 4 years?

- You may leave! Next hearing is on 15th.
Ask both of them to be present!

- Let's go go go!
- Who's next?

- I had warned you at the beginning itself!
But you kept saying things will be fine.
Now see, pushed me into trouble.

Look how she scolded me, not even considering my seniority!

- Shall we try some cash, sir?
- What! She's a judge!

- Isn't she a friend of yours?
- Oh man

Stop fussing for all this. Its a silly matter

- We can bring a proxy girl.
- Huh?

- Another girl??
- Are you trying to help or send us to jail?

Which govt authorized voter ID has a proper photo ever? Look at this...

Like a ghost...

So??

Superb, ma'am! Sir, this junior of yours is
all brain head to toe

Yeah right. Get her autograph also

By the way, how will you manage the marriage photo?

Sir, which girl looks the same as her wedding day?

Excuse me!?! Is that what you think of women!?

I didn't mean it that way

You will know if you have to raise a daughter

Do you know how the hormone system totally collapses??
- I understand...

- Fat gets deposited. The entire facial and body
structure changes!
- Sorry!

Haven't they taught you at school?

Stop it! From marriage photo to raising daughters now,
come back to topic

Find another similar looking girl,
we can give a shot then

...that director's film has one set with 150 actors...

...I don't want all this. You can go complain...

Bro, tell me. What kinda girl you looking for?

Like this

Alright!

- Hey Selvi!

Boss!

Can you check if you have someone
called Karmeghakuzhali?

Right. We only provide the artist.
Character name is for you to keep

Yes, bring her!

So, wazzup bro, I don't see you?

They called me for multiple films at the same time...

I couldn't give them fixed dates

So to avoid all this

I decided to get into theatre and drama

I want someone like her

Well, she looks like her!
Just some costume and touch up, and voila

- Sir, is this for a short film or a serial?
- Its a megaserial

I said "Lets see".. and here you are
at the bathroom doorstep

Urgent, bro!

I am not a broker for arranging girls

My area is straight and clear real estate

Bro, that name was itself your idea in the first place

Look here, bro. I have 2 nice items

One's 22 and the other 42.
Take any one of them and adjust

You just said you are not a girls broker

Bro, these are for personal needs.
Its important to safeguard them

Dude, let's take one of the broker's girls as Karmeghakuzhali!

Idiot

Loser

- We can pay her extra
- Stop kidding

This is the only crooked thing I am yet to do

Dude, how about Aarthi here?

Isn't she the one you want to marry?

Dude! its for acting, right?

Idiot! First she has to accept

She might refuse because she loves me

Still, I'll try asking her

Aarthi...

- What's up?
- We need...

you to act as Gandhi's wife in the court

- Will you?
- Court?

Yes! I'll do the part! I'm ready

Where are you?

- Parking lot
- Wait, I am coming

Sir, the girl we arranged has arrived.
I will go get her

Come, let's go

Why are you tensed? I will manage

You are going to get a divorce.
Show some sadness

Isn't it mutual? Then why should I be sad?

[Gandhi!...]

[..Gandhi!..]

Who's that?

What are you doing here?

Oh! She is the Karmeghakuzhali!?!

Actor Sanjay is getting divorced today.
So thought I'll get an interview

Oh, all that is shown on the TV?

This is the main content.
TRP will soar

Ok,, lets go

Isn't your case over?

Judge has asked Karmeghakuzhali to be present.

Ow! Then?

So, we are taking her instead of you

Damn...guys!

How?

Since all voter ID photos look the same,
they are hoping to manage with me

Who knows what will happen

OK, see you

I'll also come. Let's see

What, you got the main party itself???

I am here just to watch.
She is the one.

Alright

OP3514/2014 Sivasaamy Pushpa

What's the problem?

I can't live another minute with him, ma'am.
It's been ages since I last laughed

Don't be so vague. Tell the specific problem you have

He is suspecting me of cheating with the milkman, paperboy, gas service guy,
cable service guy, and even the courier guy!

Sir! Will a woman have an affair with so many people?

No, ma'am. But she is all lovey-dovey with every man who is at the door!

What's your educational qualification?

M.A., ma'am

Yeah? Alright. So, listen.

Cancel the cable TV. And now onwards,
let him handle all the milk, gas, and water connection etc

No ma'am, please get me divorced

No. Divorce is not the solution here

This is a mental health issue. Paranoia.
Just a small chemical imbalance

Just take up medical counselling.
Everything will be fine

There's more, ma'am!

He shows me all dirty films in the night.

[...I have been married for 12 years...]

- How come they are speaking so openly?
- This is nothing. Things sometimes get more frank

Did you go to the counselling properly?

Yes, ma'am

So, what's your decision?

We would get mutually separated

Yeah? What do you think?

We don't like living with each other anymore.
We want to separate

This is the final hearing

Tell...

- It's decided, ma'am

Alright...

- What did they say?

Divorce granted. This case was mutual, right

- That's it??
- Yepp. Final hearing it was

It saddens to see so many in line for a divorce

Feels like shouldn't get married

Every marriage will have issues.
So then you won't get married at all?

2 more cases to go, be ready

Gandhi, you remember everything we discussed?

Is the girl ready?

Where's Aarthi???

- Wasn't she on this side?
- Yeah! She was just here!

Where's she??

What are you doing??

Shouldn't you be more careful with the client?

Wasn't she standing right here?
You want me to hold on to her???

You guys? Again??

I can't bear it! Please separate us!

What are you going to do getting divorced at this age?

At least I can die in peace

- She's not anywhere to be seen.
- What!? Oh man

Gone... I've no idea how that woman's going to scold me this time

Just the thought gives me shudders. Let's just go!

Where are we to go?
We have to be present today!

But the girl is missing!

Aarthi??

- Are you inside?
- yes

- Aarthi, they're panicking, its time!
- Give me 2 minutes

Sir, please understand. If we are absent today,
the court notice goes to her house

- Notice? What notice?
- Divorce notice

Since we have given your address, and this is
second hearing that will be missed.

- For all these things, be super proficient! But when it comes to actual work...
- Why are you getting tensed, sir?

Ma'am, Sorry. Don't take it the wrong way.
I am telling this for your own good

- Why don't you present yourself?
- Me? Why should I? I won't!

Another...way...another way? Nope, none.

- Oh, you can understand the mutes too?

Ma'am, what if we nab the notice from the post office
before it reaches home?

It will be registered post

They will hand it over to her mom, and get signature.

What? Notice will go to my mom???

That's us...gotta go.
Sir, let's go

[..Gandhi Karmeghakuzhali...]

- Hello ma'am.
- Late as always....

I was discussing with the client when you...

- Gandhi?
- Yes, that's him

- Karmeghakuzhali? Her?
- Yes

So, whats your problem?
Why do you need divorce?

What's it?

- We would like to mutually separate
- That is obvious, isn't it?

What is the reason?

He cannot speak

Can't speak?

It's not mentioned here...

- Did you know during the marriage?
- Yes

- So whats the trouble now?
- Lot of misunderstanding between us

Misunderstanding???
- Yes

Why, you guys can't fight peacefully is it?

- Love marriage?

No n.... uh... yes

You guys are young. Don't jump into decisions

Ma'am they have reached mutual understanding!
- Go for counselling

Ma'am! No, but they are here after mutual agreement!
- Get going, sir. Take them to counselling

Call the next case

- Nesa, what happened?
- What did she say there?
- Counselling, it seems

Counselling??

Oh its just two retired seniors sitting and

advising couples the run-of-the-mill traditional values of marriage and all that

What is he saying?

As in, do these two have to go for it

No no not needed

Hand me 3000 rupees

That's for something something insider help

Take this 3000 and pass it to Harikrishnan in there
Tell him to give it saying its from me

Do you want me to go counselling instead?

Shut up... she is always like this

Once during a play,
I had to play the female lead because of her antics

Ok sir! 2 mins!

- All this is normal for us.
- Gave it.
- Shall we go then?

Just gotta show your face once

She won't come. You go talk to them!

Let her say...
It'll take 2 mins. Just answer them and get going.

Fine, let's go

Well, what s there to say and do now. Lets go

Come..

Hari sir... This is them

Seen right? Ok lets go...

Wait!

Ask them to sit. We need some QnA for the records

Sit down. Just for two mins

Please wait outside

Gandhi.. Karmeghakuzhali

- Such matching names...
- such a nice tamil name

Love marriage?

Who asked out first?

- Oh, you?
- You guys look made for each other

Why do you want a divorce so early?

So its ok to get a divorce later?

What she is trying to tell is that...

It takes 5 years for newly married couples to understand
each other well. Why not wait until then?

Both of us are fed up of living with each other

People are being in love for 6 to 7 years easily...

but when they get married, it takes
only 6-7 months to ask for a divorce

These guys today... how...

You are the one who said 'I love you' to him,
and now you are the one asking for a divorce?

Did he mention any problems, please ask him

He is not deaf. You can ask him directly

- What's he saying?
- that he wants a divorce

Any physical problems?

How is you sex life?

nothing worth saying

- what's that?
- he's just saying the same thing what I said, with some anger

- Are you two husband and wife?
- Oh, no no!

- We are separate. I am a bachelor

Did no one from your family object to this divorce?

What exactly is your problem?

- Financially any concer..
- Sir, enough!

Don't waste our time askng too many questions

I can't live with someone like him who can't even speak properly or communicate

How can you speak so insensitively, being from the media?

Aren't you the reporter from Tamil News?

I've seen her. On the TV

Look how she is speaking

How can you be so rude and insensitive?

I'm sorry...

So finally done? Must've tortured you with questions in there.

I was not ready to give even a photocopy of my documents...

Now, see what all this has brought me to.

I beg you, please don't ever contact me again

Sir, remove all my proofs from the case file

Why are you following me?

Please go away before I say something

Wait a minute!

I can speak. I am not a mute...

Let me explain everything. Please listen.
Then you can say whatever you feel

I am a villager

Its tough

Just had a wish to fix everything by going abroad and finding a job

During my passport application they asked me to put
any girl's name in the wife section

I swear I don't know how I put your name in there

And Nesan...

out of nowhere he told you I am a mute, and I had to keep up with the act

Because if I speak you will find out I am not a Sri lankan

You had no idea who I am and where I am coming from...

Still you trusted me and came this far out to help me...

you are truly....

from our side...

you will not have any more trouble

Sorry

Why did you tell her everything!?

I would have come clean to her even if the divorce was simple

Cheating is wrong

And on top of that cheating saying you are handicapped...is so wrong

If tomorrow someone asks her for help stating handicap, would she even trust them?

If I knew so much trouble was to occur,
I would have just told master the truth

Just kept on adding lies over lies and look where you have brought me

Sir, shall we just come clean to the judge and
withdraw our case?

You can't just withdraw...

That girl has to come

Sir, we are then going to get into trouble trying to help you

No no...

Lawyer sir!

Doesn't your law has any loopholes we can use?

Will you stop it? Is all this not enough?

This voter ID we arranged after staking night and day at the corporartion office

Look how she maintains it

Mom?

You're back?

Gandhi just came to give your voter ID

- Gandhi? When?
- Just now

Hello?

Who's this?

Dude, its me Pandi!

Hey Pandi! How are you?

Dude, I can't hear you

Nesan...Nesan!

- Pandi called!
- Pandi? How is he??

He sounded tensed. I think he is in some trouble

Which Pandi? The afro head? We sent to London..?

Gandhi??

Sir Pandi called. He was very tensed, kept saying 'help me!'

Alright cool down. Calm.
Let me see

This number

It begins with 924... looks like Sri Lankan number

- Bro, how long since this call?
- Around 1 hour

Bro! Should have told in 20 mins.
I could've got info about the tower from the police station

I don't know if there are towers abroad like in here...

- Bro, if you can help, help. Keep quiet otherwise
- What would you have me do??

Shall we head straight to the embassy??

Give me the number. Let's try to google the location

In a while you are gonna get a SOS video as whatsapp forward only...

Do you have any sense!?!

Bro, you are worked up right now. That's why
riling up against me. Otherwise you are a sweet guy,
I know

Nesan, just look into it. I'll be back

If he worked here in the busiest town itself, cops would find him suspicious.
This guy and London...heh

You should try and not stand out when in London...
Well, I know folks at the central police station

- The call has come from Colombo
- We sent him on a flight to London, right? Then?

Who's Kumar here?

- Kumar just went downstairs
- Go downstairs,now. Check thoroughly

Sir, what's all this barging in and all of it? What do you want?

- Who are you?
- Police!
- Don't cops have names?
- MP Kumaresan

Why, what about you? You don't have a name either?

Excuse me, I am asking something and you
are just checking passports there

Which station?
- Villivaakam last

- last, as in?
- I got VRS. Its been 4 years

Now just doing public service

- Meaning?
- Real estate work

- Broker?
- No no

Just a genuine and legal work with lesser commission

Sir, the owner here's a close friend of mine
Why are you not answering me?

What's the issue? Why are you guys not..

Sir! I am speaking here and you just sla...

Take them away! Go...

Natesan, check all papers!

Who's Gandhi here?

Me, sir

Where are you from?

- Madurai, sir.
- Madurai or near Madurai?

Vellimalai,near Madurai

-And you?
- He is my friend, sir, he is a mute

Why did you come to Chennai?

To go and settle in London, sir

Didn't get visa

Tourist visa, right?

- Afsal, has the fax arrived?
- Pass this to sir

Come here

- Do you know this person?
- Sir, he is my friend

- Does your friend have a name?
- Pandi.

Muthupandi Selvam

- Where is he now?
- He's gone to London, Sir

On a tourist visa got from submitting fake documents

- You didn't get?
- No sir

Sir what happened to him

Please tell sir

- Where is he from?
- Same as me sir

- Any ID proof?
- Yes sir, voter ID

Is that at least original?

Yes sir, its what we use

- Where is it?
- Its in my room. Shall I go get it?

Lets go together

Come, Sir

Gandhi, who are all these?

- Family friends.
- So many of them?

Please sit, sir

Sir, Pandi's voter id

- Who arranged visa for you guys?
- Kumar

- Do you have his other phone number?
-No sir, just the one

- Where does he stay?
- Don't know sir, I always meet him at his office only

He's been on the run for 8 years.
Do you have any photos?

No sir

There was a Sri Lankan with him. Do you know?

Don't know sir

Did you say you were a bachelor?

Divorce?

Sir, what happened to Pandi?

Skip the right, go straight

Who told you that if you fill wife's name in the tourist visa
application, you will get it?

- Kumar, sir.
- Kumar?

That fraud arranges for all duplicates

How come he got you an original?

Don't know sir

Who put in this particular name? Karmeghakuzhali.

Sir, I told you right

I randomly put it

I have no relationship with that girl

Sir, let's not go to her home now...

Go fast..

Which house?

Sir, please trust me

She just came to help me because her name happened to be the fake name I chose

- She has nothing to do with all this
- Ok, let's see

Please sir

Sir, please don't bring trouble to their family because of me

She's a good girl. It's a good family

Move aside

Move!

Its a good family right? Then what's wrong in checking up?

Come, sir

Why are you so silent? Say something

No, if she was in Saree, she would have been even more prettier

Why did you not come in a veshti?

Of course, he wears it now and then.
For his height and weight, he will look like a king!

Is Karmeghakuzhali there?

Gandhi! Come in. These folks are here with an alliance for Kuzhali

I'll be back

Please come inside

What's the matter?

Please don't misunderstand, just 5 mins it will take. Regarding a news

Who are they? Acquaintances?

That boy is Sri Lankan. Due to Kuzhali's help only he is
going to finally meet his mother and sister

That poor buy can't speak

Family is also estranged

- So you have done all this to help him..
- Yes

- Do you know his friend Pandi?
- No

- Kumar?
- Sir, she doesn't even know Pandi
- No

There was a Sri Lankan guy, how about him?

I don't know

What's this Gandhi? As per the law she is your wife,
and she says 'I don't know' to everything

Ok, you may go

Wish you all the best for your marriage

- How much does the channel pay her?
- Take home 33083 rupees

Any more questions??

Sir,what happened to Pandi? Please tell something

He was loitering at the London airport without a passport

When the immigration enquired him he said he is from Sri Lanka

So they deported him to Sri Lanka

There, he has said he is from Tamil Nadu

- Since there is no clarity if he is Sri Lankan or Tamil..
- Sir, he is from my native place, I showed you his voter ID

Let's go.

To you native

I can't come to my village sir

I have lot of issues there

- I have lot of debts.
- that is your problem. Get in the vehicle

Please sir.. understand.. I can't

Sir!

The Sri Lankan you are looking for is me

I know all details about agent Kumar

Let this guy go

He knows nothing

You said your friend is a mute. He speaks now?

These guys don't know I can speak.
I was jut conning them

If you had told this before, we could've avoided so much

We are searching for you only

Ajas! Take him in that vehicle. You get in this one

Sir, just a minute

If any day you see them, tell them I was searching for them

No, no, just mail me. After that we can call and tell

Sir...

Where's Pandi?

Ajas, get that guy

How are you?

Fine... how are you?

Next month there will be a case hearing at Saidapet court

Pay the fine

Follow up with a lawyer

Take him

Lets go

Thanks a lot, sir

Its good you came clean to that girl

- Some more rice?
- No

Pandi...

It feels bad to send you home like this.
Stay one more day with me

No, I want to go to the temple in the morning

There they locked me up in a room

Some random people walk in... say random things

You know how I bark more than I bite

That's why ... they beat me up so bad...

Who were they?

Don't ask

Cruel bastards

I was so sure I am going to die there

I decided if I come out alive, I am
going to our native temple and get tonsured

- Banana?
- Bye guys

Dude! Couldn't stay away from us right?

I asked you to help me board a bus to Madurai.
Not Tirupathi

Wait, we will come too!

Dude... looks like wherever he goes, they send him back.

I was the sad one. You are having bananas there. So stop it

No, both buses were white .. So..

Why is all my stuff outside?

You said family friends! They were
cops! We know. Such a fraud

- Fraud? Who's the fraud?
- You!

Did you even tell me about
the previous tenant? Hung himself to death here!

You are the fraud!

Look how he's talking!
I had warned you not to rent the house

Such a goody two shoes he was when he came
Look at him speak now!

You have built something worse than a slum hut,
and now acting as if it was some palace!

You know, in my village, the land I own...

This house of yours is peanuts in comparison

Do you know how much land I owned?
6 acres!

- How many cents make an acre?
- Dont know

1 acre = 100 cents. That makes my 6 acres 600 cents.
You can build 800 houses in that area!
And a pond additional!

Sure, then why have you not built them? And rent them out???

Didn't you come here because you can't
make a living in your hometown?

And look at you how you are treating
someone who is struggling to make a living. Throwing
them out

You there! I am paying you the rent!

Whats with the additional 8 rupees electricity bill?

The wiring needs to be pulled up from ground floor! Who will pay for that!

If you want to rent out a place

its your job to fix that wiring!

Fix a fan, a bulb, and also a motor to pump the water!

All these should be part of a house!
These are the things one pays rent for, you idiot

Hey! How can you talk like this to my husband?
And you, why are you standing like a statue??

We haven't come here because we are homeless...
We've lived like kings back in our village

- Stingy cheapos!

Tell something!

Hey! Who'll take these things? Take them away!

Hey tell me

That house owner... he emptied my house and threw my stuff out

Oh shit

Where are you?

Has master come?

Master...

Late afternoon only

- Why?
- I am going to tell him all the truth

- I can't take it anymore
- Dude, don't rush it!

Be patient

You earn more than us...

Just come here. We can figure things out

If master comes, tell him I will be late

Why, where are you going?

Passport office

Boss, are you looking for something?

Want to take a new passport?

No, I need to remove wife's name from my passport

- Simple...
- I am not married

Oho.. so this is that category

Its very simple.
First get a divorce done with her name

I have a friend who is a lawyer at the family court.
Go meet him and...

All tried already. Thanks

Boss wait wait! If this idea didn't work,
I can give other ideas!

If you go in there now, they will keep shuttling you
from one table to another

Then your work will never get done in time

oh.. go on, talk

- Where are you?
- I am at the passport office

- Ok, stay there. I will see you shortly.
- What?
- I am coming

I've got the idea!

First go to your area police station
and file a complaint for missing wife

- Today?
- Yes

Then... A friend's friend I know works at the mortuary

We can go to him and buy an unclaimed corpse of a 25 year old woman

Then we ready a fake ID card with your wife's name

Stuff the ID with the corpse and throw it into the river

- then?
- Next morning you'll get a call from the area station

Saying that a dead 25 year old woman's body has been found
asking you to come identify

You just have to go and act and cry and
you can get a death certificate confirming it is your wife!

Once we have that, then all this is nothing!

How much do you charge for this service?

Uh.. I can't do all this alone.
This requires teamwork

Let me go discuss with the others inside

Stay here, don't go anywhere! I'll be right back

Another important thing!

There are many fraud brokers loitering around here.
Whoever comes and asks, say nothing!

- Come let's go home.
- Why?

Mom knows everything

Okk. Why do I have to come?

My mom is suspecting me!

She thinks I had actually married you
and that I am trying to divorce you now!

She's torturing me asking me not to throw
away my life with you

Uh.. what happened to that marriage alliance the other day?

That was a waste. Didn't work out

You just come and tell her the truth.
That will be good for you

Give me 5 mins

Hey! Are you trying to escape?

please wait, I will be back

Excuse me, sir!

Hello, sir.
- Tell me

There is a mistake in my passport I want to rectify

- Go to counter 4.
- No,sir I want to speak with you

Tell

I tried to go to London using
a tourist visa , to settle abroad

A broker told me that married people
get visa easily

So I put a girl's name in the wife section

Visa got rejected.
So I found a job here.

What did you do then?

I listened to many people and ideas and

tried to get a divorce and then a court case
and all that. Nothing worked

Just wasted money

Now you want that girl's name removed?
- yes sir

Our people have gotten used to getting
everything done through shortcut

- How much did you spend?
- Quite some money, sir

How many boards have we put out there to be beware of brokers?

Aren't you educated?

Why do you think the government has made such
a big office with all of us employees here?

At the end you will have to come here only.
Why didn't you do this at first!?

Sorry sir

Where's your passport?

You are truly single, right?

I swear, sir

Go give this to the help desk

You'll get a form. Fill it and pay the fine

You will get a new passport with name removed, within 15 days

Ok sir

How much is the fine?

Around 1300 rupees

- That's it, sir?
- Government will only charge so much

- You may go.
- Thank you sir

Sir himself signed??

Oh you went directly to him

- Did he say something?
- No

It is a good thing you went and saw him directly

Unnecessarily why go through so many middlemen

Each one will tell one thing.
And you will keep going round in circles

I would have told this to you that day itself.
What if you misunderstood...

We are all so scared of him.
But you are so brave!

Fill this form up, and sign it

Sir, just a minute. Please give me
my passport

- Why?
- Just for 5 mins. I will be back

Ok lets go

I need to ask you something before that

What is it?

Shall we both get married?

Why?

Because I like you a lot

They told the name can never be removed from the passport?

No

Passport officer himself has approved a change.

Oh, this is what you have been going through so much for.
You can finally do it, right?

What if this is another story you are spinning?
How do I trust you?

From whatever has happened so far, I don't
know what you have taken me for

I won't cheat you now onwards

I won't lie to you...I like you a lot.
If you are okay, we can go talk to your mom about our marriage

Shall we?

Okay. Let's go

Hello ma'am

Karmeghakuzhali, what have you decided?

Uh, we have decided to live together

Then why did you fight and walk out
from the counselling session?

That was just anger at that time, ma'am

Now you don't find his handicap a problem?

He was lying back then.
Now he isn't like that. He is under my control

I love him

You guys are all so young!
That is why we ask you to go for a 6 month counselling

Ma'am it was a genuine help I decided to give
so that these youngsters have a good life

Right. You may go

Come, lets go

What happened?

To day we both have shared this journey so far and are together,
all thanks to him. He started it

I only suggested Karmegham.
He added the Kuzhali

Thank you

Madam, this is the party I told you about

- Have you told about the rent?
- Yes of course, 9500 rupees!

- You can only park 1 bike here.
- No problem

His bike will be here.
His wife's bike will be outside

- Oh, married???

Sorry sir... We rent out only to bachelors.

- Thanks.
- Bye

They should start a new engineering course
to understand a house owner's mind

Now where to...

Somewhere only

There's a house this way. Surely you will get it

Hey, at least say something and leave, you idiot

- Shall I?

I am gonna miss those ever smiling lips

I am gonna miss these eyes that glare at me

Oh well, you are speaking too much. Should'nt
have asked you only

And I am gonna miss this beautiful curly haired girl

You are gonna miss that flight,actually!

- [Master...master..]

Are you too sad to let your husband go?

Nothing like that sir

Such a good guy. I wanted to make him my son-in-law

Its ok, you are also like a daughter to me

You should have told me before, I would've
applied for her visa too

If he would have told you everything then,
he himself would've had to sit out

Oh yes

If I had known he was a fraud...

Not only would I have fired him,
but handed over to cops too

- master, I think it is time for the flight
- Oh yes, we should leave

Hey guys, assemble everyone

Bye