A Thousand and One Erotic Nights (1982) - full transcript

Long ago, in the
ancient kingdom of Asia Minor,

there lived a sultan
whose name was Chaka Khan

and who claimed to be
a direct descendant

of the great Genghis Khan.

It was only a claim,
but then being sultan

gave him the right to lay
claim to whatever he wished.

His word was law.

It was good to be the Sultan.

Among the Sultan's
greatest treasures

was the most charming
and beautiful harem

in all of Asia Minor and
among them was a jewel.



Her name was Scheherazade

and she lived by her wits
as well as her beauty.

As our story begins,

the Sultan was already
married and at war.

- I am ready, my
Lord Sultan, ask.

- What I must know
from the stars is this,

should I lead my men out
in search of the enemy

or wait for him to attack?

The
Sultan loved his wife

and trusted her completely.

Unfortunately, the Sultana
did not return the favor.

Don't tease, give it back

Tell me!

The sultan is ugly, you're
handsome



What else?

The sultan is like
a pin

and mine?

A monster! Please!

Just put the head in

Do that and I promise

You will soon be sultan

Please

and where is the sultan now?

With his advisors

Please don't tease

Make love to me

Does my lady the sultana
command it?

Yes

Then I obey

- I see that the sun enters
Gemini 12 days hence.

- Is that good?

- That is good, my Lord.

A full moon occurs in mid
heavens two days later.

- Is that also good?

- No my Lord, that is bad,

but Mars is close to
Saturn in Capricorn

and that, my Lord, is--

- Yes?
- Good.

The time is right for battle.

- I did not ask if
the time is ripe,

I asked if I should march
out against the enemy

or wait for him to attack.

- The stars give
signs of victory.

However there is
something that worries me.

- Yes?

- The planets, especially
Jupiter and Venus.

- What does that mean?

- Because of the position
of Jupiter to Venus,

the planet Mars is in decline.

- That is bad.

- No my Lord Sultan,
that is good,

but then, Jupiter
moves into Libra.

- Which is bad?

- No.

- Which is good?

- No.

- Then what?

- Well I don't
really know, my Lord,

I cannot read the stars
further than that.

- Thank you, Chief Astrologer,
you've been a big help.

Where is General Sargon?

I must speak with
someone who is sane.

- The general is at camp with
his troops, Your Majesty.

I'll leave at once.

- No, no, I'll go myself.

I need some fresh air.

Tell the Sultana I'm gone.

As soon as she
returns, Your Majesty.

The Sultana rose early
and is out for a ride.

Meanwhile,
the Sultan was galloping

towards Sargon's camp.

- Do you like surprises?

- Yes, tell me.

- You are sure?

- Yes, what is it?

- I'll show you.

He's a gift.

- Is he bigger than you?

- Bigger?

Look, see for yourself.

As the Sultan
approached General Sargon's tent,

he stopped and for a moment,

he thought he heard the
voice of the Sultana.

It was impossible.

Then, he heard it again,

and in a timber that
was particular to her,

only on certain occasions.

The Sultan's heart sank.

Stealthfully he crept
up and with his dagger,

he made a slit in the tent.

Gathering his courage,
he looked inside.

It was worse than he imagined.

His most trusted ally
and his beloved Sultana

were uniting against him
and plotting his overthrow.

The Sultan watched and listened.

In this way, he
learned their plans

and being ready, defeated them.

The Sultan celebrated his
victory with lust and full joy.

So long did he brood over
the betrayal by his wife

that he eventually
became persuaded

that no woman was to be trusted.

He resolved that each night,

he would choose a
girl from his harem

and after passing
one night with her,

she would be strangled
in the morning.

This, he believed,
would be a sure cure

against any future disloyalty.

Every night before supper,

the harem keeper would approach

with a basket filled with tiles.

A girl's name was
inscribed on each tile

and once picked,
her fate was sealed.

Tonight would be her
last night on Earth.

Who is your choice

for tonight, my Lord Sultan?

Scheherazade, you
have been chosen.

Scheherazade
knew what was to come

and promised herself that with
her, it would be different.

As she was being prepared,
she devised her plan

and resolved not to be
dead in the morning.

Her plan depended on arousing
the Sultan's curiosity.

- Scheherazade.

- How old are you, my child?

- 19, my Lord.

- It's a pity.

How did you come to my harem?

- I was a gift, Great Sultan.

An Assyrian gave me to you in
order to insure safe passage

for his caravans.

- The Assyrian was a fool.

You're worth much
more than that.

- Thank you, my Lord Master.

- It's custom that
you entertain.

Do you have talent?

- Some say I do.

- Do you dance?

- No, my Lord Master.

- Do you sing?

- No my Lord, I can
neither sing nor dance.

- Then what?

- I tell stories.

It is my only talent.

I've collected
them in my travels.

With your permission,

it would give me great
pleasure to tell you one.

I would be consoled
on this final night.

- Uh,

then tell.

In her
effort to stay alive,

Scheherazade began
her first story.

The tale concerned a poor
and hapless fisherman

who lived in the Province of
Thrace, near the Aegean Sea.

- It was also the
fisherman's misfortune

to have a wife who was a hag

and as fat as an elephant
and as ugly as a vulture.

Not only that, but she
was vicious and jealous

and the only peace
she would allow him

was when he went fishing.

Each day, on the way to the sea,

he would pass the
house of a noble woman

and without being seen,

he found that he could
look into her window.

This was the only joy
in the fisherman's life

and it seemed enough just
to catch a glimpse of her.

Then, there was one day
when fate took a hand.

As the fisherman watched, he
became as excited as the woman

and all day, while he fished,

he thought about
what he had seen.

He believed it was a good omen,

but when he drew in his nets,

he found that he
had caught nothing

except a small jar
made of yellow copper.

Curiously, he examined
the jar on all sides,

shook it and then to satisfy
his curiosity, pried it open.

To his amazement, a thick
smoke began to billow forth

from the vessel and in fear,

he dropped the
jar to the ground,

but the smoke continued to rise,

became a mist and the
mist became a solid mass

in the shape of a great genie.

The genie regarded the
fisherman with a fierce look

and said, "I will grant
thee two wishes as a reward

"for having set me free,

"but then, because
it is my nature,

"I will surely kill thee."

Now the fisherman knew
that it was impossible

to argue with a
genie so instead,

he began to consider
his first wish.

He said it and in
the wink of an eye,

he was transported to the
noble woman's bed chamber

and the woman seemed
to be expecting him.

- Did you know I was coming?

- I saw you this morning.

- You saw me?

- Why did you think I did it?

Just now, I had the
feeling you'd be back.

Did you do it while I did it?

- Yes.

- Do you want me to do it again?

- The fisherman
continued with strength

he never knew he had.

The woman, whose
name was Triboli,

inspired him and she taught
him how and where to kiss her.

Faster

Faster

harder

faster

harder

harder

harder

She even taught him the
use of silk ropes

and had him tie her to a chair so
he could see what she looked like

And she let him enter her
wherever he liked

Afterwards they made love first
one way, then another

Suddenly the fisherman heard a
noise coming from the next room

my daughters here, would you like
to meet them?

Yes I would

Put this
on and wait here.

I'll bring them to you.

Girls, this is the doctor.

Now I want you to be good and
do everything he tells you.

The
fisherman couldn't believe

how well things
were working out.

- Well which one
of you is older?

- I am.

- What's your name?

- I'm Helena.

- Lana.

- Who would like to
be examined first?

- She would.
- She does.

- Oh, we must decide.

I have an idea.

One hand has a pill,
the other is empty.

Pick.

- This one.

- You win, undress.

We will begin the
examination now.

If you want to be
my assistant

you must learn to
examine properly

Take your finger

and rub here until it becomes
hard

it's the only way to
examine

Take them if you like

They are over eighteen

- The fisherman enjoyed
himself to the fullest

until at last, exhausted,
he closed his eyes

and let himself
drift into sleep.

When he opened them again,
he was back on the beach

with the genie
standing over him.

Tomorrow, the genie
said, and he struck

his foot upon the
ground which opened

and swallowed him up
and closed behind him.

The fisherman was once
again alone on the beach

and now he had to think of
his second and final wish.

- Tell me what it was.

- With Your
Majesty's permission,

I don't know.

If you would allow me the
afternoon to remember,

I could tell you tomorrow night.

Each night,

Scheherazade told the
Sultan a new story

and each story she told led
to the beginning of another.

Her storytelling
always ended at dawn

and curious to
hear the next tale,

the Sultan put off her
execution from day to day.

Her imagination was
endless and her creations

included the everlasting
characters of Aladdin,

Sinbad and Ali Baba
and the 40 thieves.

- And so Ali Baba came to
the rock that hid the cave

and he said the magic
words, "Open, open salame."

No--

In the
quiet of the afternoon,

she invented her tales of
faraway places and magic events.

- Sesame.

I like that, open sesame.

One of her
stories told of a prince

who was given as gift, a
horse made of pure gold.

On command, the horse would
rise and carry the prince

anywhere and at the
speed of lightening.

It was nearly dawn when
the horse, at last,

descended on solid ground.

The prince found himself
thousands of miles from home

and on the terrace of
a magnificent palace,

on the island of Nippon.

In the dim light,

he found a staircase which
led down into an apartment.

He listened at the door

and then advanced
cautiously into the room.

There, he saw a beauty
so extraordinary

that he fell in
love at first sight.

The woman was still asleep

and not able to
restrain himself,

he slipped off his clothes

and slipped into bed with her.

The young prince moved the
covers aside ever so carefully.

And when he saw her naked,

he was so overwhelmed he
could not stop himself

from caressing her.

The woman half woke and
pretended the love making

to be coming from her husband
whose name was Ishido.

Oh Ishido

Ishido

Ishido

Ishido

Oh shit!

- Did he escape?

- Tomorrow.

Before coming
into the Sultan's possession,

Scheherazade had been owned
by a merchant prince.

With him, she had
crossed the world twice,

from China to the Mediterranean

and had learned languages
and mathematics.

She lived for a while in China
where she studied sciences

and then in Tibet
where she was taught

the secret techniques of Kama,

the Hindu god of
love and pleasure.

Her memory was perfect
and her stories were

flights of fantasy mixed with
details of her experiences.

Sometimes, when her tales
were especially wicked,

she would use girls
from the Sultan's court

to illustrate a point.

- Three of the
girls were friends

and had felt certain
feelings for one another.

One afternoon, when
they were alone,

they inhaled a substance
that was allowed to be used

by the priests alone.

What happened is
difficult to explain

and went through many stages.

During one of these stages,

the girls felt very
warm towards each other

and wanted to touch.

The first to move was Tamara

who slid her hand
inside Kala's blouse

and touched her breasts.

They all felt dream-like

and seemed to move
in a slowed motion.

Tamara and Kala began
to kiss and caress

and for an instant,
the third felt jealous,

but then Kala turned
and kissed her

and all three fell back
onto the soft cushions.

They ceased to be
three bodies and became

all mouths and senses
and tongues and fingers.

They held each others heads
in their hands like cups

and took long drinks
from each other's lips.

They kissed until kissing became
a torture

Their fingers always
found an opening

and the owner would
move to accept it

willingly

No parts of their bodies
were ignored or escaped kissing

Tongues replaced fingers

and two of them attacked one

kissing each other and taking
turns at arousing their victims

The pleasure that they gave
her was so exquisite

that it was almost impossible
to bear

and she cried out for it
to end

and for it never to end

One of the girls found
an instrument

used in certain ceremonies

and put it to another good use

The three girls were
so lost in each other

and in the drug
they had inhaled,

that they did not hear
the temple guards return.

Each girls was punished.

Afterwards, the
three were banished.

The first girl went North,

the second South and the
third, who was the youngest,

traveled West along
the caravan routes.

With my Monarch's permission,

the adventures of the third girl

form the body of another story.

Scheherazade
saved the story

of the third and
youngest girl for last.

Instead, she told the
Sultan more about the horse

that was made of gold and able
to carry its rider anywhere

and at the speed of light.

At that speed,

the prince was not only
carried backwards in time,

but forwards as well
and he found himself

in a very strange place.

- What are you dressed up for?

- Well I always dress this way.

- Are you a pervert?

- No, I don't think so.

- That's too bad.

It'll be 10 franks then.

- What's a frank?

- Undress and I'll show you.

Nannette!

Robert!

Oh Shit

Not again

One night, Scheherazade
demonstrated her story herself

The sultan liked this story
the best

Finish.

- Tomorrow.

Somewhere around
the tales of the fisherman,

the Sultan had lost all thought

of ending Scheherazade's life.

He had, in fact, fallen
in love with her.

Now, on this thousandth
and first night,

Scheherazade told the
Sultan her last story.

It was about the third girl,
the one who had traveled West

along the caravan routes.

This girl, of course,
was Scheherazade herself

and now she told the
Sultan how she had managed

to save her own life by
continuing to tell him stories.

When she finished,

the Sultan looked at
Scheherazade for a long time,

smiled and then asked--

- Tell me, exactly
what were these stories

that Scheherazade
told the Sultan?

I want to hear them all.

- Should I begin?

Begin.
Tomorrow.