A Tale of Legendary Libido (2008) - full transcript

Prime entertainment

So lonely!

Do you know

the pain of living alone?

Don't you pity me, a widow of 30 years?

I've been praying
but no man has come along.

How come you keep quiet?

Are you ignoring me?

Say something!

God!

Looks so bizarre.



What's this stick for?

What the...

What's going on?

What the...

Who are you?

As soon as she said that

it turned into men and did her?

- What is this...
- Chief!

My stomach...

That prick...

What's this for?

Let's enjoy our lives.

I told you not to say it...

It looks so hard and sturdy.



What's this stick for?

The totem pole's wooden nose

couldn't be destroyed.

So we put it inside the 100-year old

wine and buried it...

Underneath the totem pole.

"A tale of legendary libido”

Presented by showbox mediaplex

distributed by showbox mediaplex

how long has it been?

Executive producer Kim woo-taek

co-executive producer ryu jeong-hun
I can't believe this.

Associate producer d.S Kim
the rumor is true after all.

Producer Lee seo-yull the incident is
said to have increased yin in the area.

The unbalance of yin and Yang...

Femininity is too strong here.

Gods of heaven and earth

please, hear our song

Grant my husband

a sweet dream tonight

Scrub it well!

Produced by jung hyun

director & writer shin han-sol

who are they?

They're thugs from
the neighboring village.

No man from our village challenges them.
Dares to challenge them.

Those wussies! Pitiful sissies!

We're out of drinks here!

That pig has no manners.

Got any money?

We'll pay when we leave.
Get us more drinks!

Forget it! Ignorant bastard...

What the fuck!

What's he drinking then?

You got a problem?
Something to say?

What did you put on?

Is that perfume I smell?

Byun, please ignore them.

I don't want any trouble here.

What the hell!

You son of a...

It looks good.

You

What the hell!

Oh my gosh!

- Who's that guy?
- Stop drooling!

Look at his nose.

A big nose means a big cock.
Right, girls?

Hey! Hey! Hey!

He's not the man you think he is.

What?

He's the weakest of the weak.

Don't judge a book by its cover.

What do you mean?

Do I really have to tell
this story again?

It was a night of the Crescent.

He was selling rice cakes.

Rice cakes! Rice cakes!

Rice cakes! Rice cakes!

Rice cakes...

Here!

It's a buck for two.

But I'll give you one more for free.

Is this your first time?

Sure this is your first time.

- Your voice sounds...
- What about it?

Do I sound old?

The old gets horny, too.

Maybe I'm doomed for life.

Of all the men in this world
you came along.

Some luck!

Why? What's wrong with me?

You don't know?

A straw is thicker than your thing.

A straw?

You're like an eunuch!

An eunuch? Is that true?

You girls haven't been here
long enough to know.

Only if his lower half worked
as well as his mouth.

He's just shell of a man.

Hey, don't look at me like that.

I'm still your first girl! Remember?

Brother!

God, he's so manly.

Unlike his brother!

Look at his thing. No woman can say no.

So big...

You're byun, aren't you?

No, I'm not.

I can tell by the pissing sound.

I'm not byun!

No, no...

What the fuck!

Kang-mok!

He's drunk. Please forgive him.

So sorry.

Byun, let's go.

Stop acting like you're all that.

I want to get drunk.

I'm gonna get wasted!

A real man with a wussy brother...

How could they be brothers?

Kang-mok cares so much for his brother...

Because he's half a man
that he should be.

I bet he puts him before his life.

Feeling better?

Put me down. I'll walk.

Stop wiggling, byun.

Just put me down.

I got some dried squids for you.

Who says I like it? Put me down!

Sit.

Sit down!

Here.

It's a ground turtle and a bear gall.

It cost me an arm and a leg.

They say nothing's better
for fixing your problem.

I don't need it.

Hey!

Byun! Byun!

Rice cakes!

Rice cakes!

Rice cakes!

Sell this to a kid?

Byun, you're on fire!

Brother!

Water... water!

Lie down! Quick!

- Brother!
- On your back!

Move!

Byun!

All burned

Darling is way better, though.

Who's that?

Don't you know?

She moved into a hut a few days ago

ah, her? I hear she's a bit loose.

Oh, that one!

Huddle up.

Rumor has it that when she was young..

She was captured by the Japanese
as a sex slave.

Then she managed to escape.

You know what? “What?

Her eyes are so sexy.

So are her Scarlet lips.

I bet she's real horny.

Like you have done her!

Not yet. But I'm planning to.

You guys want to come along?

Where?

She bathes here every night?
We made a trip for nothing.

Tonight isn't the only night. I'm sorry.

Isn't that byun?

What are you doing here?

You wanted a piece of her, too?

- No, I'm here to bathe.
- Yeah, sure!

Aren't those breasts?

My shoe!

Help!

What's that?

This is what they're up to!

So she's that darling whore!

Stop

cool

you come here.
How many guys did you attract?

You're dead you're dead meat!

Get her out of the water!
Come on, bitch!

Ladies!

What's this nonsense?

Kang-mok...

Come here, assholes!

If I see you again, you're dead!

You shouldn't have interfered!

Stop right there!!

Are you okay?

Don't you understand?

You want me to say
one more time?

We have 5 days to get ready for wedding.

Getting married? Got a girl stashed away

come on out.

She will be our family

take good care of her.

Get her something to drink.

Byun? Hey!

Help!

Please, help!

Anyone there?

Help!

Thanks.

When will an old flower bloom?

You're strong but weak down there.

It looks fine outside

but inside is a lonely soul

nice.

- Do you drink?
- Not anymore.

Alcohol's good for an impotent.
It's too bad.

An impotent? What're you talking about?

Your brother has a birthmark
by his belly button?

And you have one on your thigh?

It's the dried squid.

Triviality was root of the problem.

I can tell.

Do you know why
the totem pole is missing a nose?

You saved my life. I should repay you.

Listen carefully.

Go to the village shrine.

Face the totem pole.

2 steps back, 2 to the left

2 steps forward, and 2 to the right.

You'll be where you started.

Dig the ground and you'll find a bottle.

Drink the potion inside.

Then you'll bloom like no other.

It'll fix your impotency.

After you wake up
no intercourse is allowed for 15 days.

It should be exactly 15 days
from the moment you wake up.

If you're to have intercourse

you'll lose everything.

I can be a real man?

You got it! But remember one thing.

Drink only one sip.

One sip?

Don't go overboard.

Your fortune can turn into
the village's misery.

Don't drink more than a sip.
Don't get greedy.

If you do, the village will suffer
a great deal.

Understood?

Understood?

He's gone.

Hey! Hey!

Did you get the whole thing?

I have a bad feeling about this.

This is not good. Not good at all...

Stop there, you bastard!

You've been hiding here
to evade the draft?

Stop it. I know this guy.

You know him?

Byun, where have you been?

I thought you left the village.

What do you mean?

Don't you know war has broken out?

Every man has been drafted.

So has your brother.

He finished his duty last year.

He went to war on behalf of you.

He asked the army to be drafted instead.

Because they take one man
from each household.

Go on.

You're lucky to have him
for your brother.

Wait up!

What a brother you have!

Here.

Would you like some...?

An old flower will bloom.
You will be in full bloom.

It'll fix your impotency.

What's this smell?

A fire? It's a wildfire!

I gotta pee.

I want to pee

You're byun, aren't you?

I'm not byun.

He put out the fire?

I can't believe it.
He's impotent, right?

Are you sure? It can't be him.

Yeah, I heard his thing was
3 inches long.

But you haven't seen it.
I heard it was 5.

5 inches?

It's only half the size of this.

He couldn't have put out
the fire with it.

There goes the madam.

Hey there!

What is it now?

Come here.

You saw it, didn't you?
Is it 4 or 5 inches?

Byun's thing? Yes

didn't you say it was 57?

Yes, it's 5.

That's only the head.

No way!

Why's he doing that at night?

Just wait. He'll shower afterwards.

- They're on the ground.
- What?

Both of his feet!

Feet...

How's that possible?

If it's not his feet, then...

Two.

I need drinks!

This, this!

Come on, hurry!

Rice cakes!

Rice cakes!

- He's coming!
- Rice cakes!

Rice cakes!

He's here!

- Byun is coming?
- Hurry!

Rice cakes!

Rice cakes!

Hello, byun.

Stop it

he's gone! It's over.

Byun? One rice cake, please.

Okay.

Where should I put it?

Right here.

A little to the right.

To the left.

- Here?
- Closer.

Here?

Hey!

Yes?

What the hell! Hey!

Hey! Byun!!

I got him!

Get him!

Taste good if you share

- hold him up!
- Easy!

Stay still!

I'm too lonely
I can't live without men

he's still living in the past?

It shouldn't be wasted.

Life of a widow only wounds from cilice

no feast for us, poor widows

why doesn't let the snake
out of his pants?

Hungry for it, longing for it

so lonely without men

I can't live alone
I can't live without men

knock it off. How can you girls sing?

I don't get it. Why'd he turn us down?

It must be lack of confidence.

Sit up!

Why'd you bring a baby?
It's distracting.

We were seducing him
in the broad daylight.

We need to get him in the mood.

An erotic mood!

See? Erotic but not gaudy.

I'll pave the way for you all tonight.

You ladies owe me a favor.

You broke into my place?

Wasting my candles...

I got rare wine.

I want you to taste it.

Why'd you stop coming to my bar?

Low on dough?

I quit drinking

life is no fun without liquor
for a real man.

I know you like to drink.

Got a girl?

That's right. Drink up.

It'll make you stronger.

What?

Playing dumb with me?

I've seen it.

Seen what?

- The field is so hot but...
- But what?

There's no man to cool it down.

You know what?

Can you water it for me?

Let me tell you. You can't handle me.

You know how to bluff, huh?

I've ridden more men
than the hair on your head.

You don't get it.

If I'm a hawk, you're a meager sparrow

don't worry about me.

I can go on for days.

What are you doing?

I'm sure you know.

- Move.
- Where are you going?

Come on, move!

I must be nuts.

My ass...

Mom, what does this mean?

Why aren't you in bed?

Study tomorrow. Go to bed now, okay?

- What the...
- Don't you ever sleep?

What's up with them?

Stop pushing!

What's going on?

What the...

You weren't bluffing after all

that's right.

Are you sick?

Your nose is bleeding!

God, this is embarrassing.

I'll need a good 10 days to recover...

10 days?

It was that good?

Wasn't it because you
hadn't had any for a while?

You're so negative.

What happened was...

Where am I?

Listen, byun.

I'm happy now.

Three times are enough.

Or was it more?

Don't give me that look!

Byun... enough is enough

hey!

Please spare me.

I've had enough for tonight.

Wait... listen!

Fine, let's get it over with.

Come.

I thought it was over
but he kept on going.

He was breaking me into pieces.

God, my back...

Go on, go line up.

My nose won't stop bleeding.

No cutting in!

What a rude

line up, girls!

What's this!

What are you doing?!

Oh god, help!

The rumor was wrong.

What?

It's only half of the truth.

What is it this time?

What's wrong with you?

What the hell did you see?

- A body, the wildfire...
- What?

A waterfall - a waterfall?

This big!

That big?

Pants, weapon...

I saw this body, and there was a fire.

I saw a blazing fire
from inside the carriage.

I was so scared.

And this waterfall...

It was huge!

That huge!

That's how it happened

what?

It's really this long?

Yes.

I must summon him right away!

Byun, give me a rice cake.

I'm not selling any today.

You know what I mean.

I'm your big fan now.

Sorry?

It's the biggest penis I've ever seen.

Consider your tab paid.

Look, byun.

I love you.

Pardon?

I said I love you.

That's not love!

Then what is? Can you teach me?

Byun, where are you going?

- See you tonight!
- Come, byun!

What do we do now without him?

I'm the minister of foreign affairs.

Westerners in the country are
giving us a headache.

I have a big plan.

We're going to have a bout
of the century.

If you win, I'll send your brother home

so do your best.

Korean representative, step forward!

Western representative, step forward!

The challenge is how many
weights you can hold.

Please remove your underwear!

Begin!

One!

Two!

Three!

Total amount, 3!

Please remove your underwear!

Begin!

One!

Two!

Three!

Four!

Five!

Six!

Seven!

Eight!

Nine... ten!

Eleven!

Play the music!

Don't worry. You'll hear from him soon

We're too late.

Mom!

The mountains are rugged

the forest is chaotic

mountains are everywhere

the wind blowing so hard...

Where's byun? He's back, right?

What's wrong? Someone died, or what?

Yes, someone did die.

Kang-mok is dead.

Are you serious?

They couldn't find his body. How tragic!

That's why he locked himself in.

God!

Let's get out of here.
We're making things worse.

Anyway... why is it so dry these days?

She's got resentment.

Fever comes from it.

She doesn't need socks in the winter

she needs water to cool her body down.

She likes bathing in the pond.

But she can't do that anymore
because of drought

her fever gets worse at night.

So she sleepwalks around
to find water at night.

She will end up either killing herself...

Or die from fever.
Or dance around like a lunatic...

And finally die from fever.

It's really bad.

Is there a cure?

No.

There's one but it doesn't require money

it takes a body.

One with strong Yang.

A body?

The art of medicine is
the way of humanity

it's not easy for me to say,

but you must sleep with her to cure her.

I'm just saying it as a doctor.

What?

I can't force you to have
sex with her, get it?

But you must sleep with her to cure her

if not, she won't be around much longer.

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's possible to use medicine
but it may take 10, 20 years.

Bodily sickness should treated
with another body.

Your brother's dead, right?

Husband, have some.

You're really my husband now.

Looks good.

It looks better on you.

Yeah?

Ok, let's wrap it up.

The leaves are withered
because of drought

can't even wash because
there is no water.

How's byun doing?

He's like a dead man without his brother

worried about him? Or too horny?

I'm not inconsiderate.

Don't you feel sorry for him?

No way.

He's having fun with his sister-in-law

that's enough.

Honestly, I miss him terribly.

If I hadn't slept with him
it wouldn't be this bad.

Are you pregnant?

You're in big trouble!

What the...

No, I am not!

What's that?

Good heavens!

What's wrong?

Not satisfied?

Let's do it again then.

Don't overdo it for your sake.

What are you talking about?
I can do it all night.

Come here.

I missed you so much in the battlefield!

Honey

How odd!

If the drought continues
the village will be destroyed.

Grudge of a spinster has
caused the drought.

It's an ominous sound of a female.

The sound of loneliness...
What should we do?

Is that from lady bear?

Yin wants Yang.

We must send her a man full of Yang.

You mean a man and a bear...

That bear is god of this village.

It's a holy sacrifice to god!

But that's unthinkable in confucianism.

Nonsense!

You want the village
dry up to destruction?

But who's gonna volunteer?

Fornicate with a bear?

There's a way.

Do you remember
that wooden nose's drink?

It's not here, sir.

I found it!

But it's open.

Let me see. Give it here.

How could it be?

Who dared to drink Yang?

You've been at it since the day before.

Who is it? Who'd you fool around with?

While we were gone
byun was the only man here.

She wouldn't have cheated on you
if you had satisfied her in bed!

- Am I right?
- Of course.

No, it's not what you think.

It's a nightmare!

I told him to drink one sip.

A disaster has befallen on this village!

Take byun in! He caused this drought!

He drank Yang! We'll offer him to bear!

Byun! You're in trouble!

Come here.

Darling!

What's worse is that your brother...

Byun!

Byun!

Your brother's back! Byun!

Byun

byun

Byun, I'm back.

Where did he go?
I got a dried squid for him.

Byun!

Byun?

It's good news.

What is?

She's pregnant.
She has a bun in the oven.

Our baby in my belly...

It's also bad news.

Drought will cause fever and kill her.

If it doesn't rain soon...

Fever will kill her and the baby.

It will get them both.

Hey, where are you going? Running away?

I can't believe
they're sacrificing you.

Leave the village
before they offer you to a bear.

Run now!

What are you doing? Run!

It's byun!

Get him!

I had no one else to turn to.

Water...

Not even a single drop of water to drink

mom... mom...

I'm not your mom.

What a life, poor thing...

Get something to drink.

We don't have any to spare
for this lunatic.

Don't be ridiculous! Shame on you!

All you care about is sex.

Do you know what loneliness is?

Too much loneliness makes a person crazy

get something for her!

Coming!

Aren't you glad I'm back in one piece?

Sure, we are. We're so glad.

- What's wrong with her?
- That's...

Where did byun go
when his wife is so sick?

Darling, how was the wedding?

What!

Her and byun?

You mean, they didn't get married yet?

Before I got drafted
I told her to marry him.

I called him my husband
but he didn't believe me.

He's your husband
and he didn't believe you?

Then byun and darling are a couple?

You have to have a ceremony
to make it official.

But I have a baby.

Really?

Where is he anyway?

Don't let anybody go past that line.

Especially promiscuous women!

He's not fighting it.

I didn't tell him about the bear.

It's over

byun is surely dead

chief!

Byun

byun

get ready to leave the village.

Think of darling and the baby.

You have to take care of them now.

Darling, she is...

Is she crazy?

What are you doing? Get her out of here!

Shame on you! Stop it!

A person is dying.
What's up with the line?

Man, woman... what's the use?

I have a baby.

Poor thing...

What are you doing? Don't give up now!

We can't go down like this!

Let's pray to god once for all.

Is she going nuts?

Playing with hat drum?

Is that all you got?

If you're gonna do it, do it right!

She's at it again.

Gods of heaven and earth

Please, hear our song

Grant my husband

a sweet dream tonight

Gods of heaven and earth
please, hear our song

bless this dry land with rain and dew

Grant my husband a sweet dream tonight

Gods of heaven and earth
please, hear our song

bless this dry land with rain and dew

Grant my husband a sweet dream tonight

People saved themselves.

My husband is alive. He's alive.

He's alive

Where did they all go?

Geumdong!

- Eundong!
- Ginam!

Youngjin!

Daddy!

Daddy!

Daddy!

Daddy!

What girl wouldn't know about byun?

I hear his thing is so thick.

As thick as a man's body!

- It's quite embarrassing, but...
- What is it?

I heard he had sex with a bear!