A Scandal in Paris (1946) - full transcript

I first saw the light of day...

through the iron bars of a prison in a
small town some 50 miles from Paris.

When the prison matron, who was also the
prison midwife filled in my birth certificate

she caused what may be regarded as
the one blot on my family escutcheon.

And as a result I never
knew my father's name.

In my zeal to correct this omission I was
to borrow many names for many occasions,

until I hit upon the one that
France will long remember.

Eugene Francois Vidocq.

Like most great mean I came of a poor but
honest family, a little poorer than honest.

The difference accounted
for my being born in prison.

Whenever poor Mama expected another
baby and consequently needed shelter,



it was her custom to steal a
loaf of bread and go to prison.

She had stolen 11 loaves,
served 11 sentences,

and had 11 children when to her
misfortunes were added a twelfth loaf,

a twelfth sentence and my humble self.

When poor Mama went to a better world,
leaving me to make the best of this one,

what is more natural than

that I should often return to the happy
scene of my earliest childhood?

And so after many years,

again I find myself among those
dear familiar sights and smells,

spending another birthday at home.

My monastic seclusion was
devoted to a study of the classics,

particularly one from which I acquired
my style, not only in literature

but in my brilliant
career of love and crime.

My modest apartment was shared by a
sympathetic companion into whose



company the authorities
had happily thrown me.

He was a cut-purse whose knife could rip a
pocket most profitably, til one day his knife

had gone a little deeper and Emile was
sent to jail a little longer than usual.

He may have had his faults,

but his care for my wardrobe
and for me was truly touching.

He never woke me before ten.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday.

- Jailor's daughter.
- Oh?

Well, tell her that I'm not at home.

All right.

- My father does...
- Shh, he's still asleep.

My father doesn't know I'm here,

but a sweet old lady came all the way
from Paris to bring this

- birthday gift and I thought...
- Oh, yes, that's from my Aunt Ernestine.

Thank you.

Thank you, Jeanette.

Present from my Aunt Ernestine to you.

Such a good woman.

She, she knows how bad
the food is in jail.

She ought to, she spent the
best years of her life in them.

Oh, no, no. She didn't, you're mixing
my Aunt Ernestine with my Uncle Hugo.

He got 15 years.

- Oh yes, for lifting watches.
- Oh, you get everything wrong.

That's my cousin Pierre, he's
the pickpocket of our family.

How often have I told you?

- Now look, my Uncle Hugo, he...
- He is the burglar.

Right, and what a burglar.

His case was in all the papers.

Oh, sure, he robbed the palace
of the Duke D'Orleans.

- Let's get on with Aunt Ernestine's cake.
- Oh, yes, the cake.

I'm sure she lifted it from
the best pastry shop in Paris.

Oh, Aunt Ernestine only
deals with the best shops.

And you know, Uncle Hugo...

says it's always cheaper to steal
in the most expensive places.

Here.

Oh, wait, wait.
It's your birthday, make a wish.

Made.

My wish.

A file.

How very thoughtful of Aunt Ernestine.

And it works, too. We must remember
to thank her when we get to Paris.

There, see?

The town of Neuilly, and
Saint George's Church.

Only a few more hours to Paris.

Emile was that grimmest of characters,
an early morning optimist.

All through the rainy night...

he had added to my misery with his
unfailing cheerfulness and family stories

while we'd been
running, dodging, jumping fences,

soaked to the
skins we were trying to save.

At last...

it was the porch of the kindly church of St.
George that offered us shelter from the rain,

and from the police.

You've got two legs
and I've got two legs,

but together they don't add up
to the four legs of a horse.

A horse?

No, they don't.

At last, the rain had stopped.

Timidly, the sun came out and the
little town awakened to its sleepy day.

On the church steps the pigeons were cooing
and fluttering about, but we snored on.

'Til our dreams were disturbed
by the sound of voices.

Father, did you ever see such a
contrast between two faces?

Such innocence on one.

Such evil on the other.

Monsieurs...

would you object
to making a little money?

Money?

If I could only catch that soulless
animal look. Oh, what a dragon.

And there, the very image of a saint.

Your face, my dear monsieur, expresses
the essence of that purity...

for which St. George lived, fought...

and conquered.

What the wind and weather of
400 years have obliterated

could only have been restored
by the faith to will it,

the art to execute it, and Providence's
gift of models to pose for it.

Ah, please don't move, Monsieur Dragon.

Ease your paw a little lower,

and if you could just
recapture that avid expression.

The one you had when I
offered you the money.

Oh yes.

- How about the money?
- That's good, that's good.

Now look up.

Thank you.

What a wonderfully horrible thing.

Master, I congratulate you...

Saint George is divine.

The dragon will excite horror
in every prior's heart.

But your horse, what a horse.

It's even better than your saint.

A horse to the life.

A horse that could take you
to Nievre, to Lyon, to Marseille.

It could even be sold.

- What are you waiting for?
- Please don't move, Monsieur.

But Monsieur...

But Monsieur, my horse.

Monsieur, I'm not finished, my horse.

Meet my family.

- This is aunt Ernestine.
- Enchanted, Mademoiselle.

Your cake, and especially its
filling, were a revelation.

A revelation, Auntie.

And this must be uncle
Hugo, the head of the family.

Sorry that you find
me in my foot bath...

but I caught rheumatism from
being out late night.

Oh, may I suggest that you add
a spoonful of mustard to the water?

Mustard, my mother used to suffer from
the same occupational disease.

And mustard never failed her.

Uncle is stubborn.

Uncle won't wear a shawl
when he goes stealing.

Hush.

- What language.
- Our little Louis.

Only 12 years old but busy fingers
and this is Cousin Pierre.

Honored.

And this is Gabriel,
the artist of our family.

- Honored, Monsieur.
- Charmed.

Only this morning we had a most
gratifying encounter with an artist.

My dear monsieur, my dear nephew.

I, that is, the family council, have debated
your difficult and delicate situation,

and what should be done about it.

I, that is, the family have decided
you must leave Paris this very night.

Leave home, tonight?

Your family is convinced...

That for both of you the
safest place is in the army.

Armym safe?

You will join General Bonaparte's
glorious troops at Marseilles...

where they are assembling
now for the campaign in...

- Where is it?
- Egypt.

Oh, yes, Egypt.

Just think Emile, you will be able to fulfill
the dream of my life, to see the pyramids.

- The pyramids.
- How wonderful, Emile.

Hand me the documents.

All night long...

our dear Gabriel has bent over
his printing press in the cellar...

to make these for you Monsieur
and for you, my dear nephew.

But Uncle...

Suppose we are shot before
we get to the pyramids.

Don't be morbid, Emile.

The rank of First Lieutenant
of the Artillery is hereby

bestowed upon the honorable
Eugene Francois Rousseu.

- Rousseu?
- Your new name.

Oh, I see.

Signed Napoleon Bonaparte, in the
general's own unmistakable handwriting.

- Monsieur Gabriel, a masterpiece.
- Nothing, nothing.

At least compared to my last
issue of the Bank of France.

Monsieur, I bow to your art.

At Marseilles, our stolen
uniforms and counterfeit passports

had been accepted without question.

But a soldier's uniform is hardly complete
without a lovely lady leaning on his sleeve.

Emile and I still needed that one sentimental
accessory and were looking for it.

Gentlemen, gentlemen
come inside and see Loretta,

the beautiful shadow
on the Mediterranean screen,

enticing, alluring, elusive,
provocative and two francs only.

- Two francs for Loretta?
- Have we got that much?

Two francs?

Ah, come in gentlemen, come in.

♪ They call me Sweet Loretta ♪

♪ Although I set your heart a flame ♪

♪ You'll find when you know me better ♪

♪ I play a calculating game ♪

♪ Some girls go for
handsome young gendarmes ♪

♪ But I'm saving my charms
for better, better corporal ♪

♪ Some girls go for
slightly bigger game ♪

♪ But I'm saving my flames
for better, better captain ♪

♪ I've got a flame
that's too hot to handle ♪

♪ There's no one who
can hold a candle ♪

♪ To the dame who's the flame
and the scandal of Paris ♪

♪ Some girls go for
flowers and romance ♪

♪ I'm not taking a chance
my flame is for a general ♪

♪ To arms, to men of fire ♪

♪ We'll play a sentimental game ♪

♪ Take out your pipe and your brier ♪

♪ Tonight I'll light them with my flame ♪

No need for my flame, Lieutenant?

♪ There's never been
anyone who's met her ♪

♪ Who could kiss her and then forget her ♪

♪ There's no cure for a more much better ♪

♪ Than Loretta ♪

♪ Some girls go for flowers and romance ♪

♪ I'm not taking a chance
my flame is for a general ♪

♪ I like your curly hair, Monsieur ♪

♪ You have that certain flare, Monsieur ♪

♪ We'd make a lovely pair, Monsieur, but... ♪

♪ My flame is for a... ♪

♪ General. ♪

Come in.

Oh, it's you Lieutenant.

- Lieutenant Rousseau, at your service.
- Have you changed your mind?

Mademoiselle I just came to tell you that your
beauty is overshadowed only by your talent.

You should be in the Paris opera,
in the Imperial Theater of Vienna.

I should be in Tortoni's restaurant right
now, I'm late for a supper engagement.

Mademoiselle, you
are a charming realist.

And you, you're an idealist, of course..

Of course.

You don't look like one.

Well, what does an idealist look like?

Oh, very noble, innocent, very, very shy.

Enough Mademoiselle,
I confess that I'm not one.

No, no more, I told you
I'm expected at Tortoni's.

- By a captain or a colonel?
- Oh, higher than that, chief of police.

Richet?

Who's he trying to catch here?

A shadow.

Would you pass me my garter?

Oh, I see.

So that's the way the chief of
police tries to catch a shadow.

May I, Mademoiselle?

Appears that your knight of the
garter has excellent taste.

Beautiful rubies, aren't they.

I was referring to
Mademoiselle's beautiful leg.

- May I escort you?
- Oh, no, no, I...

Just to the door at Tortoni's,
then I promise to vanish.

- You promise?
- Promise.

Emile, a cab.

Oh, Tortoni's, I must hurry.

Emile, I've got it, the garter.
Move on, make for the harbor, quick.

My dear, I've been waiting
for you for the past half...

- My garter.
- What?

What about my, your garter?

- He stole it, I mean...
- Who stole it?

The gentleman who
brought me here in a cab.

What's this? You were with
a gentleman alone in a cab?

Is it possible that a gentleman could steal
a respectable woman's garter without...

Yes, no.

I mean, he must have taken it
off while he was putting it on.

What?

How can you take it off when you put,
you mean to say he put it on?

Oh, I don't know. On, off, it's gone.

Please, please.

Mademoiselle...

You must not look upon me as the
grateful friend who gave you the garter,

but as the detective who
will help you recover it.

But first, the facts.

Please be precise.

- What facts haven't I given you?
- For instance, his name.

His name, it might
be Rousseu or Drousseau.

Or it could be Trousseu.

Oh well, the criminals change
their name oftener than their shirts.

But the appearance is important.

Could it be that he's the
same person about whom we had

similar complaints during the past week?

Young, dashing, Casanova like type?

Oh no, no, he was old,
bald, not attractive at all.

Yes, pray be seated.
Mademoiselle, don't despair.

I have never yet failed to
find what I'm been looking for.

- Then I may leave everything in your hands.
- Precisely.

After we had left the army, we decided
that we might risk a return to Paris.

Paris, capital of the world and
the El Dorado of every knight of fortune.,

Look there, again. The church of
St. George, only a few hours to Paris.

My dear dragon, this time
we'd better make a detour.

You piggish fool, you'll
never catch him that way.

Drive him over Baron Novier's grave.

Oh, don't go around it, jump it.

Oh Lord, what a monstrous
coward, afraid of a monkey.

I hope he bites you.

Look at that old Christmas tree parading
around with diamonds big as tombstones.

If we could only get our hands on it.

It isn't done, Emile, to
put such thoughts into words.

Rather let us pay our respects
to those who rest in peace.

Oh, a fig for your fears.

Praise Heaven, Satan has bitten you.

- What is the trouble, Madame?
- Oh, Satan is there, Satan.

Between the Bishop's tombstone
and the grave of Madame de...

Oh, I've forgotten what, that,
that grain-dealer's daughter.

Where's Satan? I, I trust he's
not after the Bishop's soul?

Well, I trust you'll
catch my little imp,

if your legs are as quick
as your wits, Monsieur.

Well, Madame, your lackey has legs,
the gentleman can only offer his wits.

What cheek.

Now what a gallant charmer.

My rogue of a monkey is
downright mesmerized.

Look how his eyes follow the sparkle.

- I've got you, Satan.
- Bravissimo, bravissimo.

Come, my little one.

He ran away while I was putting
lilacs on the count's grave.

You see, I became sentimental and
my little devil is frightened of tears.

My fortunate stars, Monsieur,
that you happened by...

to look in on some departed
friend, or relative, perhaps?

- Well...
- No, no, no, don't tell me, I'll guess.

You see, all of them here were
my friends or pretended to be.

Monsieur de Claremont
had just such a forehead.

But no, he had nothing behind it.

Could it be the count?

Not, not quite a
count, but just a baron.

Baron?

Baron Francois Vidocq blood to be sure.

Your lips, your chin, the same
malicious dart in the eye.

Even the same naughty...

But it is not good to speak
of the dead in their presence.

It would be safer to nibble at his
reputation over a cup of chocolate?

- Charmed.
- Good, I'll expect you this afternoon.

Any child can direct you to the chateau
of the Marquise de Pierremont.

Enchanted, Madame Le Marquise.

Emile...

You're going to let that hag go
off wearing half a jewelry shop?

- Wait until this afternoon.
- Why?

We'll get the whole shop.

That's worth to waiting for.

But let's, let's not wait here.

Why not? What could be more restful?

Find yourself a grave, Emile.
And a name too while you're at it.

I was half down the steps before
I realized you weren't along.

I might've known you were
looking at that picture again.

I'm in love with it.

He is handsome, much
handsomer than the other saints.

- I admit that much.
- Mimi.

One doesn't look a saint because he's
handsome, but because he's a saint.

Then why don't you
look at other saints?

Here is St. Joseph, for instance.

I'll tell you why not.

Because he's a carpenter instead
of a knight and he's not handsome.

Oh, Mimi.

What have I done to deserve
such a horrible little sister?

Now let's go home.

- Home?
- Yes.

Oh, whenever you look at that
picture you forget everything.

Have you forgotten our
beautiful secret little plans to go...

Good morning, Father.

- Good morning, Father.
- Good morning, Mimi.

And good morning, Therese.

Come on.

Therese, is it really
true, what your sister said?

Of course not.

Are you really in love?

- Therese, tell us who he is.
- Yes, who is it?

- Mimi, you're a chatterbox.
- I didn't tell with whom.

I wouldn't told anything but Odette says you
think too much of yourself to fall in love.

- Ever.
- Then it is true.

- Perhaps.
- Who is the man?

- There is no man.
- Oh, how can you be in love with nobody?

Why not? Love has existed
long before we did.

Oh, you're just
trying to be mysterious.

I still say she thinks no man on
earth is good enough for her.

That's why you're always
running off to church.

You want to become a bride of Heaven.

Yes.

Sometimes I think I'd like to be a nun.

A nun?

I wouldn't want to hide
my shoulders under a cowl.

I must go home now.

Therese, Elaine, would you
help me lace my bodice?

Come out, it's time to dress.

Therese, Mimi, aren't you ever coming?

A snake.

- A snake.
- A snake?

- Where?
- I nearly touched it.

It tried to bite me, it was this long.

- No, that long.
- Where is it?

- It was under my shirt.
- Coward.

- It's poisonous.
- Let's go, Tilly, I'm not afraid.

- Not of a snake?
- Not of anything.

Look, men.

There.

He killed the monster.

Monster? It was
a snake, but no monster.

What's wrong with you?

What did you say?

You look as if you've seen a vision.

But when he raised his arm to strike...

it was the same gesture, same face.

You're beginning to see him everywhere.

One thing more, Monsieur
Vidocq will stay overnight.

Have his bags brought in
and his man unpack them.

- That will be all.
- Very well, Madame.

Heavens, we're late for the chocolate.

Grandmama will be furious.

- Where's Grandmama?
- With a guest, Mademoiselle.

A guest?

- Wonder who it is.
- Mimi, Mimi.

- Therese.
- What is it?

- He's in there with Grandmama.
- Who?

Saint George.

- Saint...
- George.

I'm beginning to see him, too.

- Papa.
- Therese.

Peeping through keyholes?

At your age?

Oh, I'm so happy to see you, so happy.

It's only a week that you haven't
seen me and yet I'd no idea...

Papa's little girl loved Papa so much.

Better change now,
children, change for dinner.

Papa is hungry.
Is your grandmother in there?

Yes.

Grandmother is introducing them.

And this is Monsieur Loudon,
husband of my late daughter.

Otherwise distinguished by
being Minister of the Police.

Oh, police?

Oh enchanted, Monsieur.

Madame Le Marquise I regret I must
wrench myself from your presence...

- and retire to my room.
- Oh, pray do.

He's coming out, quick hide.

Quick.

Your fan, Mademoiselle.

Forgive me for intruding
upon your reverie.

Oh, there you are.
Show me my room, please.

When they told me to unpack
I knew you'd wrangled a stay over.

Instead of having to break in, we are in.

Yes very in, in the house
with the Minister of Police.

- Minister of what?
- Police.

Will you help me off with my boots?

Boots.

While I'm at dinner, get
the layout of the house.

I don't care how you
get it, but get it.

Well, how?

- From a chambermaid.
- Oh?

Find out where the old woman
sleeps and where she keeps her jewelry.

Oh, yes.

In case we have to pry open the lock,
see that your knife has a sharp point.

And a sharp blade in case the
old woman doesn't sleep well.

My dear Emile, I hope you're
not suggesting violence.

Why not?

Are you beginning to go moral?

This isn't a question
of moral, but of manners.

A man who's capable of killing with
a knife is quite liable to eat with one.

Madame Le Marquise, to
your health and a very long life.

- Lark, the girls are late again.
- Madame, the young ladies ask to be excused.

They have a headache, both of them.

- Both of them?
- Your Excellency.

Oh, yes, show him in.

It's Richet, my chief of police.

Your Excellency, a matter of the utmost
importance has arisen, which...

Madame.

A thousand apologies for intruding
on you at dinner but I had real...

Not at all, won't you join us?

- Sit down.
- Thank you, Your Excellency.

You are very kind indeed.

The Villeneuve stagecoach
was robbed last night.

What the...

And the thief, have you caught him?

Oh, not yet, Your Excellency,
but he's within my grasp.

Your Excellency, if you don't mind I...

Oh, don't go, Monsieur,
nothing you can't hear.

Your Excellency, Villeneuve
is the final proof of my theory.

Again the criminal is described as
young, dashing, Casanova-like...

But in all the other
cases, there was a woman.

Your Excellency, in
the coach there were six.

I shall prove my theory.

Here we are, near Paris.
And this is Marseilles, thank you.

Marseilles, where the criminal,
disguised as a young lieutenant of artillery,

committed a crime that was, rather delicate
and somewhat personal, Madame.

And next Nice, where he had the
audacity to impersonate Lord Byron.

- A monstrous rogue, this criminal.
- I'd like to meet him.

And now, the trail of his subsequent moves.
First, Abbeville last month, Bonne last week,

- Villaneuve last night, and the next...
- Paris.

- Precisely.
- Richet.

You'd better put guard
around the Bank of Paris.

You'd better put a guard
around the banker's wife.

- He is a widower.
- How unfortunate.

I've planted my men on all roads to Paris.
The criminal will be walking into my web.

Lark, I hope he walks into my parlor
before he walks into your web.

At the moment Madame, he could hardly
walk into one without walking into the other.

And I assure you, Madame,
that's the very last thing he'd do.

I disagree with you, Monsieur.

In crime, as in love, there are only
those who do, and those who don't dare.

Well, I don't suppose there's much
doing around here after dark.

That is, for a neat
little trick like you.

Not while the old Marquise
is around, to see lights out by ten.

Ten?

Then we have to shut up by ten, too?

Oh, no.

- Marquise is over on that side.
- That side?

- And the guest room is on...
- Yes, I know.

Guest room on that side.

Well, my knife is
getting a little dull.

- You got a, got a sharpener?
- Sharpener?

There.

Open the window a bit.

Fresh air is bad for the health,
but it's stifling hot tonight.

How that Monsieur Vidocq
reminds me of his great-uncle.

A pox on you, Satan, I will not have
your devilish fingers mixing my jewels.

Here's the key, put them away.

It's already past ten, past our bedtime.

It's only heat lightning.

Why, little one, don't be frightened.
It won't storm, I'll watch them.

- Your key, Madame.
- Snuff the candles.

Oh, no, no no no.

And if it doesn't storm tonight
it'll certainly storm in the morning.

- If Grandmama finds we haven't been in bed.
- Mimi, you insisted on coming.

Have you forgotten how important it is?
We must make sure.

Oh, Therese.

Suppose, suppose someone sees us.

Oh, Therese, come.

We weren't mistaken, the same face.

Put them in Madame's wig.

Satan.

What is it?

Who's there?

Oh, it's only Satan.

Leave the door open.

Therese, the door's wide open.
We left it closed.

It must be one of the maids. Come.

We'll hide them in there, and come back
later, when the roads are not being watched.

It's the wig, the wig.

The door is closed, we left it open.

Your knife.

It's bolted, must be one
of the maids, we are locked out.

You wait here, I'll let you in.

One of my choicest roses, for one
of the choicest little flowers in my parish.

- Thank you, Father.
- Shall we walk today?

When two people walk each can speak as if
to himself and still be heard by the other.

Last night...

It was so hot.

I slept badly.

But I dreamt a man came into my room.

I only dreamed it.

He bent over my bed and kissed me.

- Is it a sin, such a dream, Father?
- Hardly, fair child.

Dreams come unbidden, like
the man into your room.

- Did you recognize him?
- Oh, yes, I know his face so well.

I worshiped it ever since I saw it
for the first time in this church.

It seems to express everything
that's pure and valiant.

As he raises his arm
to strike the dragon.

Saint George?

Yes, Father.

Is it a sin to be in love
with the face of a saint?

Not exactly.

Not if your love is directed
toward the saint in Heaven,

rather than to the painted wall
which embodies him on earth.

Oh I know Father, if a man can have such a
he really must be like Saint George. Face,

Therese...

Perhaps I should tell you.

The man who posed for Saint
George was far from infallible.

Posed?

- Yes, some two years ago, when...
- Two?

You mean 200 years ago.

My child I am not referring to the
original, which is even older than that.

But time and weather had damaged
the faces of Saint George and the dragon.

And an artist was
hired to restore them.

In all innocence, he chose
for his models two passersby

in whose faces he saw or fancies
he saw the extremes of evil and good.

Oh, Father, now I
understand everything.

Not quite, I'm afraid.

I've never talked about
this except with the bishop.

But those two passersby were
far from being worthy men.

As it turned out, they
had escaped from prison.

Prison?

Yes, criminals.

They even stole the
horse they posed on, they...

Rode off with the
armor, the halo, and everything.

And nobody knows what's
become of them since.

Criminals.

Both of them?

Yes, Saint George too.
I mean the man who posed for him.

Of course, one never knows.

And who are we to pass judgment
on a life before the proof gets last out?

- Father...
- Yes?

If a man's face is good,
can his heart be evil?

My child...

In all of us, there is a
Saint George and a dragon.

That is the true meaning of
the legend of Saint George.

Evil can be slain only by faith.

We must have faith.

Wonderful, what an uproar.

You are missing the best part.
The big Richet, searching the house.

He's taking his sleuth everywhere.

And everybody weeping and
quarreling and carrying on.

I've never enjoyed anything so much.

I just can't bear it.

My dear Emile, we always have enough
strength to bear the misfortunes of others.

You know, even Uncle Hugo never pulled over a
job with the whole police force in the house.

Come in.

Monsieur...

This terrible robbery,
no doubt you've heard?

Yes.

Yes well, Richet, my chief of police
insists on searching all the rooms.

- I hope you don't mind.
- Oh, but it is your house, Monsieur.

Thank you. Richet.

- Emile, help Monsieur Richet.
- I don't require any help.

He don't require any help.

Oh Therese, where have
you been all morning?

- What is it?
- You've missed everything.

We've been having the most wonderful
time, Grandmama's jewels, her wig...

the poor thing can't
leave her room without it.

- What are you talking about?
- We've been robbed. Isn't it exciting?

Robbed?

They've been searching
all the rooms, Saint George's too.

- Saint George?

When I heard that I was ready to swoon but
Grandmama says I mustn't I'm not old enough.

Monsieur Richet...

Did you catch the robber?

Mademoiselle...

I am no longer in an official position to
answer any questions concerning the case.

- Your father has seen fit to discharge me.
- Discharge?

Where did I leave my umbrella?
Forgive me for being so upset.

I thought I'd left it in
the hall here somewhere.

Yes, discharged.

Whatever will my wife say to that?

She's a young, beautiful woman,
and I, I am not a rich man.

Your father has done
me a grave injustice.

Of course, I know His Excellency
needed a scapegoat and...

since I didn't recover the jewels, I...

But there's one thing I know.

The robbery was committed from inside.

What?

The thief is in the house.

- Mr. Richet, I found it, I found it.
- Oh, my umbrella.

Thank you.

Thank you.

At least I found that,
I mean, you found it.

My wife gave it to me for
our second anniversary.

She's so young, so beautiful.

But I told you that before.

Mademoiselle...

I assure you the day will come when your
father will agree with me that I had...

- Bad luck.
- Eh?

Yes, that's right.

Never open an umbrella
before you go out.

Now, don't forget that.

- Now, what was I saying?
- That the thief was in the house.

Yes, precisely.

Mademoiselle, I...

Monsieur, your hat.

I forgot.

The dragon.

Is your flower, Mademoiselle?

Nice little girl, the big one.

The third time.

What?

Third time?

That I've seen her and
she hasn't said a word.

Remarkable for one of her sex.

I'm afraid a fourth time and
I'm liable to fall in love with her.

Fall in love? Lay off, that's
how they collared my cousin Pierre.

He went out for one night and
didn't get home for 15 years.

Don't worry, I'm well aware.

Love and crime make
incompatible bedfellows.

The most perfect criminal
can be traced and caught

if he leaves his
heart behind him as a clue.

Sure.

Only the heartless succeed
in crime, as in love.

I can hardly wait to get back to Paris.

Imagine, with the chief of police out of the
way, why It will be a thieves holiday.

Oh, the rats will play
while the cat's away.

I'm afraid the cat
won't be away for long.

- What do you mean?
- His Excellency will find a new cat.

Who?

Probably whoever saves him
from ridicule by recovering the jewels.

Oh, who could do that?

Yes.

Indeed.

Only one man.

Who?

The man who's sitting in front of you.

The whole house
is upside down, I love it.

And now, up pops the dragon. What next?

If I only knew what to do,
whether to tell Papa or...

Of course, I should tell him.

That Monsieur Vidocq is Saint George?
Papa won't even listen.

He's interested only in
getting back his jewels.

Yes.

And that would take a miracle.

But the priest said we must have faith.

No, to gamble with
jewels worth 50,000 francs.

- Even on the thieves' market.
- No.

Not with my half.

My dear Emile, try to see further
than the point of your knife.

If I become chief of police,
we'll have a chance to loot a city.

Loot a city? What's that mean?

Conservatively, 15 million.

- 15?
- Million, in gold.

- Where is it?
- In the vault of the Bank of Paris.

Bank of Paris?

Such a big job no, too
big for the two of us.

Yes, but we can enlist the
support of your dear family.

Yes, family.

- Yes, but we'll have to give them a cut.
- A small percentage.

No, not percentage, just the cut.

All right, then it's agreed.

Yes, but I still don't see it.

If you return the loot, how can you be
sure you will make the chief of police?

Don't be a fool, I won't
return it until I am sure.

Monsieur, it was a pleasure.

- Pity it's all been so dreadful.
- The pleasure was entirely mine.

Emile, saddle our horses.

I trust Your Excellency will
soon recover the jewels?

If it were only the jewels,
but the dignity of my office.

Tomorrow I shall be the
laughingstock of the whole country.

Your Excellency has already
gone a long way for resolving

the case by dismissing
Monsieur Richet and his theories.

What? Oh, yes, yes.

In emergencies I can
be absolutely ruthless.

But how to find his
successor, in this emergency?

It shouldn't be difficult to
do better than Monsieur Richet.

Even I can tell you where
he made his blunder.

You can?

The robbery wasn't committed from
inside your house but from the outside.

Outside?

Such an audacious crime could never
have been conceived in the submissive

soul of a servant and everyone else
in your house was above suspicion.

Naturally, everybody gets
very good observation there.

Well, I confess that the art of detection
has long excited my interest.

I am what you might call a...

a connoisseur of crime.

Of course, I can't promise anything but if
you'd like to accompany me around the house

we might find the clue to prove my...

- theory.
- The clue?

Ah, what have we here?

Your Excellency, observe this
interesting strand of ivy.

- What, what's interesting about it?
- It's broken.

So it is.

However did you notice that?

The merest matter of trained observation,
indispensable to a detective.

Oh, remarkable.

- Your Excellency, we have our first clue.
- Really?

I should say the housebreaker has been
acquainted with long stretches of hard labor,

stands approximately six feet tall
and weighs no less than 200 pounds.

- In Heaven's name, how can you tell?
- Elementary, my dear Loudon.

No less weight would've been insufficient
to break that age-toughened ivy.

Now, the distance above the ground

to the first break stipulates
a leg span of at least such height.

And only the most extraordinary development
of the flexor and extensor muscles

of the upper arms, such as
is commonly acquired in hard labor,

would've be equal to that last daring climb
from where the trail of the ivy ends

to the balcony by which the
midnight intruder entered your home.

Remarkable.

Doubtless there were windows
left open, it was a sultry night.

Good morning, Mademoiselle Therese.

- Oh, you know my daughter?
- Good morning, Monsieur.

Therese, say something.

The fourth time.

That I've seen her and
she hasn't said a word.

Your Excellency is to be congratulated.

The robber left untouched your
most priceless possession.

What?

Now let's see where he
went after he left the house.

Yes, let's see.

Down the garden path
and out of the gate?

Not so hasty, he
wouldn't have chosen the path.

Why not?

It's loose gravel, a man of his weight
would've sounded like a cavalry charge.

Yes, that's very true.

I should rather say that he made his soundless
exit across the lawn, through those bushes.

- You really think so?
- I have a shrewd suspicion.

Ah, we are fortunate indeed.
Another clue, a lock of white hair..

A sheep must have blundered by here.

The blunder would be
ours if we thought so.

Do your sheep normally
resort to cosmetics?

These hairs have been
powdered and perfumed.

I'd say that they belong
to the wig of the...

- My mother in law.
- Precisely.

- Monsieur Vidocq, you're a genius.
- Thank you.

I shouldn't be surprised if the jewels
are hidden not far from this spot.

Here?

It stands to reason that since the
police were covering all the roads,

the criminal plans to return for his loot
after the hew and cry has died down.

And now, Your Excellency, I
must be on my way to Paris.

Oh, no, no, please, not yet.

I trusted my clues will be sufficient for your
future chief of police to solve the case.

- Good day.
- Wait.

I'm not going to deliver myself to the hands
of another Richet, no more theories for me.

I need a man who can give me results,
a practical man, like, like you.

Your Excellency, I hope you're not
thinking of making me your chief of police.

- Why not?
- Oh, well.

My dear boy, you should devote
your talents to the good of society.

- Odd.
- Why odd?

Very odd.

Please, Your Excellency,
observe these lilies.

Phenomenal.

They enjoy alike the same sun and water
and all of them thrive except one,

which is strangely wilted as if its
roots had recently been disturbed.,

Ah, yes.

Just as I thought.

In the annals of crime I predict this
will be called The Case of the Wilted Lily,

for unless I am mistaken, this lily is at the
bottom of it all or rather I should say...

your jewels are at the bottom of the lily.

I swear they're all here.

Every stone and spangle.
Not a sparkler missing.

Thank Heaven, and you, Monsieur Vidocq.

Fortunately I could return them this time.

However, I may not be able to
if they should be stolen again.

Again?

What do you advise?

I would feel quite sure of them if
they were in the vault at the Bank of Paris.

Which reminds me that I must be
getting along to Paris myself.

Madame, monsieur.

Mademoiselle...

Therese, have you heard?

- Yes.
- Isn't it a miracle?

Yes, I'm so happy, Grandmama.

I'm so happy.

That's a sound advice Mother,
about putting your jewels in the bank.

Yes, I daresay.

After all, there are few occasions left for an
old woman to parade around in her sparklers.

Oh, Grandmama.

Loudon, I hope you knew how
to thank this Monsieur Vidocq.

My dear mother, I made
him my chief of police.

Brilliant, there's the man for you.

And maybe there is
also the man for you, eh?

To the fates were knitting busily
take Aunt Ernestine, for example.

She who once helped me to get
out of jail is now in jail herself,

unaware that kindness is always rewarded.

Come on sweetheart, Monsieur
Vidocq wants to look at your pretty face.

Keep your dirty jokes to yourself.

- What you say?
- Vidocq, the new chief of police.

Come on precious, let's go now.

De Vernet, female.

No, I can't believe it.

Believe it and be seated, Mademoiselle.

You, chief of police?

I can't believe it.

Thanks to you, I once
managed to escape from prison.

Now, I am in the fortunate position of
being able to return your former kindness.

- You are free.
- Free?

I still can't believe it.

- Furthermore, I have a job for you.
- A job?

I have a job for you to
do in the Bank of Paris.

In the bank?

- Monsieur?
- Take my card to the manager.

Our new chief of police, excuse me
please. I'm going to see him myself.

Monsieur, I'm delighted.

This is Lieutenant Emile
Vernet, my right hand-man.

Very experienced in the
ways of the underworld.

Delighted, Lieutenant.

I came to inquire whether you were satisfied
with the individuals I had recommended.

Satisfied? I'm delighted.

For example, the man
who works as teller.

- Ah, Monsieur Gabriel.
- Delighted to see you.

He has a microscopic eye,
spots counterfeit bills on sight.

Already this morning
he spotted five of them.

He hasn't let a single counterfeit
slip by him into the vault.

Good, glad to hear it.

His Excellency and I thought it
was a wise measure to plant only our very

finest detectives
as employees in the bank.

Wonderful Monsieur, and here comes
our night watchman, reporting for work,

earlier than ever.

- Ah, Monsieur Hugo.
- Good afternoon, Monsieur Vidocq.

Good afternoon, Lieutenant, good afternoon.

I couldn't be more delighted if
we had a ghost for night watchman.

He haunts the bank and that female detective,
She takes her disguise so seriously.

She cleans and scrubs all day, only this
morning she polished the lock of the vault

til it shone like a dazzling star.

- Good afternoon, Mademoiselle Ernestine.
- Good afternoon, Monsieur Vidocq.

- Lieutenant, you drop something.
- The impression of the lock?

In full, it's wax.

I'm delighted with her but most marvelous of
all is the man you sent to guard the vault.

Ah, Monsieur Pierre. He specializes
in the field of grand larceny.

A human ferret, he can sniff danger.

Even when I go into the vault
his nose is just behind me.

I wager he could smell if
one franc were missing.

How many francs are in there?

Oh offhand, I'd say
about 40 or 50 million.

40, 50 million?

So everything is under control?

No harm can come to us with
little Louis to guard us.

Quick as a magpie, always running.
Now run off.

By the way, is the little
boy a detective too?

Just an apprentice.

Wonderful, wonderful, you've
made us feel very safe indeed.

Thank you for your confidence.
Good day.

50 million.

Oh 50 million.

Deduct for family, divide,
I, I never could divide.

Your share is 22 million.

22 million.

Oh, I'm rich.

I'm rich, I'm so rich
I could spit gold.

- Did you get the wax impression?
- I can buy anything, a castle, a city...

I can buy the pyramids.

Buy them? Why, I can build them
and have every stone of gold.

I must say Aunt
Ernestine did a good job.

Try back at Cousin Michelle's and
have her make the key as fast as possible.

I'll walk back to the office.

As fast as possible.

I shall proceed to tell what
happened in the meanwhile to Loretta,

who is a beautiful
shadow on a candlelit screen.

Little did I know that she had given
up her public for a private life.

She had married for richer then poorer, for
better, then worse, 'til death do them part,

the substantial Monsieur Richet.

Loretta?

Loretta, my love.

What is it?

I've been thinking.

- Don't you know about...
- What?

I know, about that garter, again.

The case of the garter, after all my
sweet, you are married to a detective.

- I'm married to a jealous fool.
- Oh, I protest, my love.

I'm interested in the garter.
That is in the man who stole it.

From a purely professional point of view.

But that tiny garter may be the means
of recovering everything I've lost.

My post as chief of police, my entire
career or if I apprehend that thief,

His Excellency would certainly
admit that I was right all along.

- And believe me, he will bow to my theory.
- Theory?

At this time of night.

If my theory is right,

he is precisely the same man who's
committed a whole chain of felonies.

And yet all the other victims describe
him as young, dashing, Casanova-like.

The type that women lose their heads over.

Aren't you listening, my angel?

Could it be that your description
of him was not quite precise?

As you may recall, you said that
he was old, bald, unattractive, eh?

Precisely.

Well then...

Old or young, bald
or not, still don't understand

how a man could steal a woman's
garter without to, I mean, without...

All right, have it your way.
It wasn't without, it was with.

- With what?
- With love and kisses.

Yours truly, Loretta.

What did you say?

Love and...

And I little was I aware how soon the
shadow of my past was to fall across my way.

It was the next morning, in
front of a little hat shop.

Oh, my hat, stop it, stop it.

My new hat.

My beautiful hat.

Yes, it's really
dreadful about your hat.

How can I ever repay you for
captivating Mademoiselle Loretta?

That shouldn't be hard for the taking Lieutenant
Rousseau with the money he got from my garter.

Wasn't much, the rubies
weren't as good as you thought.

And you were much worse
than I could have imagined.

Really, I, I should call the police.

Well, don't call them until
I've bought you another hat.

Another, another hat?

Well I, I admit I am not so rich that I
can afford to throw them in the gutter.

Hats don't grow on trees, you know.

I know, but some of the
latest fashions look as if they did.

Oh my dear, you'd look simply irresistible
in that one and trimmed with violets.

Oh, do you really think
I'd look well in violets?

I, I rather fancy
that big Florentine straw.

- Then it's yours.
- Isn't it beautiful?

It looks made for you.

I'll take this one.

- Monsieur will pay for it.
- Delighted.

- How much?
- A mere 80 francs.

Ah, that's not too much
for a beautiful hat, is it?

- You look positively ravishing in it.
- Thank you, Monsieur.

It's large enough to cover a
multitude of sins, charming sins.

Thank you.

Madame still owes for the other hat.

- Oh yes, the one you made me drop.
- Delighted.

- How much?
- Oh, that's only 35 francs.

Thank you, Monsieur.

There is still the matter of your unpaid
bill for the past three months, Madame.

- Oh.
- 420 francs, Monsieur.

Delighted.

Just a visiting card.

- Madame.
- Thank you, Monsieur.

I hope you will come
soon again, with Monsieur.

- May I see you to a cab?
- You may see me home in it.

Cab?

I must say, you commit
your crimes a la mode.

Rather like old times, isn't it?

- Except I'm married.
- Oh, I'm so happy.

Unhappily...

- What?
- Married,

- I'm so sorry.
- Oh, it's all right.

All the more reason
we should meet again.

I see.

Sometimes the chains of matrimony are
so heavy they have to be carried by three.

Do you speak from
experience or from observation?

Observation, it has
saved me from the experience.

Please, listen seriously.

For the past two years I've not been able
to put a certain Lieutenant Rousseau...

out of my mind.

I believe I'm in love with him.

In that case Madame, you are in love
with a man who no longer exists.

- He's as dead as the past.
- I disagree, Monsieur.

The past is very
much alive, As alive as I am.

I, I hate...

Really hate bringing up the delicate
matter of the garter again, but...

I happen to know the Minister
of Police has offered a reward for...

- For those paltry rubies?
- Oh, no.

No, nothing so trifling.

For the man who's committed a whole chain
of similar crimes during the last two years.

Are you planning to collect the reward?

Oh, let's not talk about money.

It's friendship I need Lieutenant,
I, I almost forgot the lieutenant is dead.

Just to be sure we don't lose track of each
other again I'd better know your name.

Your present one.

I've had so many names, I'm afraid I
don't remember the most recent one.

Perhaps you'll refresh your memory by
consulting the visiting card in your wallet.

Dear lady, after our visit to the
hat shop my wallet is empty.

Is that all we mean to each
other, an empty wallet?

- Oh, home already.
- Well, goodbye.

Such a cold goodbye for an old flame.

You see, last time we parted,
you, you weren't so easily satisfied.

- Goodbye.
- Thank you, Monsieur.

Hope there's nothing missing this time.

Eugene Francois Vidocq.

Vidocq.

You promised to come
back in an hour, it's over two hours.

I am late only because you refused me
money for a cab, and I had to walk.

My darling, until I'm working again
it's only fair to make a few sacrifices.

What.

You bought another hat?

What other pleasure
do I have except hats?

- Isn't it beautiful?
- You've bought enough hats.

Look, look.

Three, six, twelve, twenty.

You could open up a hat shop yourself.

I don't have any more hats
than you have silly disguises.

Look.

Three, six, twelve, twenty wigs and
at least a dozen of these silly beards.

But you don't understand, they're
the tools of a detective's trade.

- You are not a detective any more.
- That's beside the point.

- Once before, I told you...
- I know, dear.

- That's why the gentleman paid for it.
- Paid?

- For what?
- My hat.

A gentleman? Who?

Believe it or not, he
didn't give his name.

- On my honor.
- On your what?

Honor.

Once before you were off with a
strange man who didn't give his name.

It's not the same man.

You deny it, then it is true.

He's here in Paris, you're seeing him again.
He steals your garter, you take his hat.

The whole thing is perfectly obvious,
how can a woman stoop so low.

You're like the horse.
My beautiful Florentine straw.

You, you Cleopatra, you Messalina.

Oh, the second hat today.
Oh, this is too much.

I'll catch this criminal who steals garters

and wives even
though I have been discharged,

I'll prove I can still be more
useful than this this Monsieur Vidocq.

- Vidocq?
- Yes, the chief of police, my successor.

Your successor?

What's so funny about that?

Your successor.

Carry the one to make ten...

Oh, it's you.

What are you doing in the
office at this late hour?

I'm figuring.

- Still building your pyramid?
- Look.

I've found a way to keep from
dividing any with my family.

Here, first we cut out Aunt Ernestine.

She isn't entitled to a penny while
last week we saved her from jail,

that's enough, she'll be grateful.
Next, we cut out Uncle Hugo too.

Are you counting on your paper
or your knife to cut his percentage?

What does it matter?

We're in business.

Nothing matters now except to move quickly
or your pyramid will go up in smoke.

Do you remember the lady of the garter?

Is here, in Paris?

Yes, our past is catching up with us.

We'll have to crack the
vault tomorrow, no later.

- Yes, yes, tomorrow, everything is ready.
- And the key?

Made.

Then pass the word to your family.

Tomorrow night none of us
will sleep so you'd better sleep now.

Goodnight, and golden dreams.

Surprised?

Women always surprise
us by doing the expected.

- I suppose you've come to return my wallet.
- Oh, that.

Here it is, Monsieur Vidocq.

- Thank you.
- Where did you ever dig up that name?

In a cemetery.

Yes, for once I believe you.

Don't worry, your elegant
visiting cards are all there.

But apparently not my money.

Oh, I forgot, I had to keep
it in order to buy a new hat.

- Another hat?
- The last one went the way of the first.

- You mean a horse stepped on it?
- My husband, your predecessor.

- My predecessor?
- Yes, I mean of course, in this chair.

- Madame, you please to be mysterious.
- Oh, I am no mystery I am Madame Richet.

- Madame...
- Richet.

At least no one can reproach me for
not being faithful to police force.

- Does he suspect?
- A detective is always suspicious.

He suspects me of having
worn my garter a little loosely.

But he doesn't know yet that I
lost it to a certain Monsieur Vidocq.

There's no fool so dangerous
as a fool with brains.

Except a woman so
foolish as to fall in love.

- Time has made you even more intriguing.
- Madame...

Surely you're considerate enough to
realize no woman could ever forget you...

or give you up.

Of course, but this is
hardly the moment or the place.

Then meet me at
the hat shop this evening.

- This evening?
- At six.

Au revoir, Monsieur.

Good morning, Monsieur.

Madame Le Marquise, this
is an unexpected pleasure.

We're just on our way to see
my son-in-law Monsieur Loudon,

and thought we'd freshen
our acquaintance by smiling in at you.

- Therese, Mimi, you know Monsieur Vidocq.
- Yes, we do.

Your voice is as lovely as
you are, Mademoiselle Therese.

What fortunate chance brings
you up from the country?

My jewels, Monsieur.

I'm taking your sound advice to
put them in the Bank of Paris.

I have some rather important
business there myself.

May I escort you?

Well, then you can do me a real
favor by taking the girls in my place.

Meanwhile, I'll acquaint your
father with our arrival, and...

- But Grandmama, you could do both, if...
- Ifs and ands you'll make pots and pans,

Ifs and ands you'll make
pots and pans, do as you're told, girl.

And keep a sharp eye on my sparklers.

Monsieur, I trust you with
my most valuable possessions.

Well, I'll be off.
No, no, no, don't trouble.

- I know my way.
- Madame.

We start immediately.
Emile, order my carriage.

I'm going to deposit these young
ladies and their jewels at the bank.

Yes, jewels at the bank.

The Chief pulled a smart trick.

Now when we pry into the vault, we'll
get all the gold and a heap of jewels...

for good measure, everything is ready?

I've got enough wine barrels
to roll out a hundred million francs.

10 o'clock tonight.

May I?

If you don't mind, I'd like to
take this to the vault myself.

As you wish, Mademoiselle.

Please, this way.

Thanks to Monsieur Vidocq, the Bank
of Paris is the safest place in the world.

And now if you will permit, we'll put
your strongbox under lock and key.

Therese, hurry.

Hey, come here.

You would depend on the wagons?

My dear nephew, you know
the driver is my sweetheart.

10 o'clock tonight.

Is the part ready?

- Soon as we are.
- It's no joke.

May I escort you home,
Mademoiselle Therese?

- But Therese, you promised.
- But, Mimi...

You gave me your word the next time we came
into Paris you'd take me to the Chinese carousel.

All week I've been planning
to ride the big goldfish.

Or should I treat the Pekingese?

Well we...

If Mr. Vidocq doesn't mind,
perhaps we could stop at the carousel.

It would be a pleasure,
Mademoiselle Mimi.

Thank you very much, Monsieur Vidocq.
Come on, Therese, let's hurry.

Do you have a key? I won't need
you any more until ten tonight.

What time do we meet?

- Ten.
- Ten.

Shall we walk?

I haven't told your father yet but tomorrow
I shall be saying goodbye to Paris.

- Goodbye?
- I'm afraid so.

As you know I only became chief of police to
help your father out of a temporary difficulty.

Oh, but Papa needs you, Monsieur.
He needs you more than ever now.

And Grandmama, she'll miss you,
and Mimi will miss you, and...

- And you?
- I shall miss you, too.

- I shall miss you very much.
- You are very generous, Mademoiselle.

But I shall have to appear ungrateful.

There are important matters that will
take me away from France.

- Is the dragon going with you?
- Dragon?

Yes.

- Well, your lieutenant.
- Oh, Emile, yes.

- But...
- He is?

- Why do you call him the dragon?
- Because...

Every time I see his evil face
I think of the painting in our little church.

The painting of Saint
George and the dragon.

- What are you talking about?
- Let's not pretend.

I know everything, how you rode
off with the armor of Saint George,

and the lance and even the halo.

Merciful heavens,
however did you learn that?

I guessed it from what the priest told me.
But don't worry, your secret is safe with me.

I didn't even tell Papa when you
borrowed Grandmama's jewels.

Borrowed?

- So you know that, too?
- Yes, but...

The one thing I really want to
know, Monsieur, I don't know.

Well, perhaps I can help you.

Oh, if you only would.

You see...

Some nights ago, I dreamed a man
came into my room and kissed me.

Oh, really?
I trust it was a pleasant dream.

Well, what more do you want to know?

Well, what more you want to know.

- If it was just a dream, or...
- Or?

Or you?

Ah, now I understand your problem.
Well, let's examine the facts.

I take it that the intruder was
too expert to leave any clues.

- None.
- Except for the kiss, of course.

Oh yes, of course.

You should be able to tell from another kiss
whether I am the man of your dreams.

- Was it like this?
- No.

This is different from
anything I ever dreamed.

My dear Therese, I am afraid
we will have to wake up.

Why?

Unfortunately there's
the matter of my past...

That has just reappeared
in the shape of a lovely lady.

- A lady you love?
- Not the lady I love.

Then nothing stands in our way.

Only she and some others may not
be too pleased to learn about dreams.

And your father, instead
of signing our marriage contract

would have to sign a warrant for my arrest.

That's why I have to leave Paris tomorrow.

- I understand.
- I have no other choice.

Neither have I. I'm going with you.

If I can't be respectable,
I'll be bad. I could help you.

I'd made a much better lieutenant than
the clumsy man you have with you now.

I could sneak in and out of rooms like
a cat, I could be very useful, I could...

I could make men fall in love with me.

Good heavens, why should you?

Between kisses, you know
I could steal their wallets.

- Steal?
- Yes, you don't believe me?

I have started already, here.

Grandmama's jewels.

I took them out of her strongbox
and nobody even noticed it.

- Wonderful.
- Yes/

I mean, disgraceful.

Why? I stole them for you.

Thank you, but you don't
expect me to marry a thief.

What can I do?

If you won't come over to my side
I'll have to go over to yours.

Darling, I promise you whichever side
you're on we'll be there together.,

- You promise?
- On one condition.

- What?
- That you return these jewels immediately.

Why should I?

They're not Grandmama's, they're mine.

- What?
- I just made it up.

You...

- You little hypocrite.
- Yes/.

- Therese.
- Yes?

Therese, come and row, you'll love it.

- Would you like to?
- Yes.

Which shall we take, the
griffon or the goldfish?

- Are these the biggest you have?
- And the most expensive, Madame.

But I don't suppose there's
any need to discuss the price

until your gentleman
acquaintance arrives.

No.

- Oh, show me some others.
- Yes, Madame.

Until he comes.

Ah Madame, how do you like
this one? Isn't it a stunning hat?

- Even your husband will adore it.
- Ah, my husband is so suspicious.

So jealous.

What does that matter,
if Monsieur likes the hat?

You are very lovely, Therese.

Am I as lovely as the other lady?

In her eyes I see myself as I am
but in yours I see myself as I could be.

As I hope to be.

Oh, 7 o'clock. I shall
make Monsieur pay for being so late.

Ah Madame, it's worth your waiting, just
come upstairs and I'll show you what I mean.

Don't worry, your gentleman acquaintance will
see the lights and find the door unlatched.

You'll see, it's modeled on a top hat
worn by Beau Brummell

til a certain countess appeared in it to prove
to the world that Mr. Brummell was her beau.

Looking for somebody?

No.

- Yes, a lady's in there.
- A lady?

You're a little old for
something like that.

Come on, this isn't a peep show.

- A citizen has some rights.
- So pay taxes and pay the police.

- Come on.
- I protest.

- I have a right to be here.
- So you've a right.

I'll give you a right, my boy.
And that was a left,

I'll give you both sides quick.

In the face of illogical
brutality, I withdraw.

And don't you come
back, you peeping tom.

Look the absolute rage in London.
It's just the thing for your Roman profile.

Well, I, I love the hat but you
think the dress is revealing enough?

Well, this blouse is a little shy but had
another that's more than just revealing.,

It's a revelation.

Will you excuse me while I fetch it from
the stockroom, you can be trying this on.

- Oh, the hat is a dream.
- It's the last word.

Looking back on
the phantasmagoria of my life,

I've often wondered what
would've happened had I been in

time for my appointment with the past.

Of course, Richet was only a fool,
but a fool is always dangerous.

And above all, a jealous fool who had
set his trap to catch a shadow.

Is that you, sweetie? You're late.

I'm afraid I'll have to run or else
my husband will be asking questions.

- Who are you?
- It's me. Me, your husband.

You, what do you mean trying to frighten
me with one of your silly disguises?

Is the great detective trying to be funny
or, or have you really taken up peddling?

Not a bad idea.

Perhaps you'd like me to accompany
you on the streets with a harp doing:

♪ Throw me a penny, I am sick ♪
♪ and my husband's a lunatic ♪

So.

You're expecting your, your sweetie.

And who is he?
That scoundrel of a Casanova?

That same criminal who stole your
garter and now is stealing you from me.

But I won't tolerate it, I won't.

Quiet, quiet.

Darling, you're not frightening me but
you're frightening those poor little birds.

And now excuse me, I'm tired...

of you.

Loretta, Loretta.

You can't do this to me. I, I love you.

I'd, I'd rather put an end to myself.

And to my misery.

It would suit you to
get me out of the way.

Precisely.

Loretta, I've got to
have you, I'm serious.

I'm going to shoot myself, I'm going to
shoot him, this thief, I'm going to shoot...

Loretta?

Loretta.

Loretta.

I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it.

You're joking, you're joking, aren't you?

You're jok...

No.

No, no, no.

Quiet, quiet, quiet.

Stop.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to. I loved her.

It's you.

You've come for me.

So soon.

I lost track of...

I lost my wife.

She was so young and beautiful and...

But I suppose that doesn't matter now.

You can take me away.

I won't give you trouble.

I did it.

Promise me one thing.

That man I've been pursuing for years.

He's the real criminal.

You've got to find him.

I failed, but you won't.

Promise me you'll put an end to him.

I have already put an end to him.

You have?

Ah, you're a great detective.

Greater than I...

ever was.

There was one more appointment
that I had to keep this night.

At the Bank of Paris, where Emile
and his family were waiting for me.

You're late, we've
all been waiting for you.

We couldn't do anything until you came.

The vault has to get underway in half
an hour. Where's the key to the vault?

Here it is.

I have no use for it.

- What do you mean?
- No use?

You may do what you wish,
I'll have no part in it.

- I relinquish my share.
- It's all mine.

- And I get yours and mine too.
- Why ours? Why his?

I suggest that you destroy the key, remove the
barrels, and leave the bank as you found it.

Now if you feel inclined to follow my suggestion,

I promise you that you will all be kept
on in the jobs that you've filled so well.

But if you ignore it, I warn you
that as chief of police of France...

I will track you down to the ends of the
earth if necessary, recover the treasure,

and bring you all to justice.

Now, make your decision.

Good heavens.

I shall be late to dinner with my future father
in law, His Excellency the minister of police.

Did you hear what he said
about his father in law?

Being His Excellency,
the minister of police?

- What can we do?
- Eh?

- What can we do?
- Oh, yes, yes.

Well, I can't deny I've gotten
used to my job at the bank.

Washing floors is
better than being in jail.

The manager of the bank offered
me a promotion yesterday.

Promotion, yes, yes.

Emile brought that man to us.
Emile, what do you advise?

Emile? Where is he?

- He's gone.
- Gone?

- What is it?
- It's that girl?

You think she's worth
50 million francs?

- Much more than that.
- Not to me, I want my share.

Nobody can stand
between me and 50 million.

Still building your pyramid?

Perhaps I should acquaint
you with the fact that those

pyramids became their builders tombs.

Not my tomb...

but yours.

And thus I killed what was
left of the dragon in me.

The rest of my life belongs to history.

As the world knows, I confessed my
scandalous career to His Excellency

who for the love of his daughter
forgave and pardoned me.

On one condition, my dear boy.

That you recompense the many ladies
whose, treasures you have pilfered, and,

where possible, give
back what you've taken.

- But with pleasure, Your Excellency.
- Call me Papa, dear boy.

- Papa.
- Oh, thank you, Papa.

And I also asked for forgiveness of Madame
Le Marquise, which was generously conceded.

Oh lark, all men are criminals
in the light of reason.

One steals our hearts,
the other our jewels.

Fortunately, my dear boy, you were
as skillful at one as at the other.

But in future, I hope you will...

Behave, Satan.

- What was I saying?
- Behave, Satan.

Exactly.

I even confessed to little
Mimi, who took it very lightly.

- I knew it from the very beginning.
- Knew what?

That no man is a saint.