A Safe Place (2020) - full transcript
- Luke Jones.
Luke Jones.
They've thrown Earl in the slammer.
He threw the TV through the window.
They've sectioned him.
- He'll get the death penalty for that.
- Well, he should.
He can't act like that 'round here.
- Too right.
You want to be careful, too, though.
Watch how many you smoke of those.
- It's me first one all day.
- It's seven o'clock in the morning, Kev.
Remember your allowance.
And for the love of God,
do not tinker with my bike.
- I haven't touched your bike.
It weren't me.
It was the new fella, Gabriel.
He was trying to nick your tires.
- Watch it, Kev.
- Why does everyone always blame me?
- Don't go messing with my bike.
- Oh, shut up.
♪ I've been blowing bubbles ♪
♪ It goes in the air ♪
♪ They fly so high ♪
♪ Till they reach the sky ♪
♪ They're like my dreams ♪
♪ They fade and die ♪
- It's like taking sweets from a baby.
That's how you described it.
- I don't remember saying that.
- You don't remember saying it?
- I was drunk.
- Well, let me refresh your memory.
- I don't want to remember.
- Oh, you do.
This is a good memory.
You want to keep this one.
You said that dopey old woman
who does the night shift
she always leaves the back door open
when she's moving, yeah?
45 minutes it takes her, you said.
She goes into a trance.
She sings with her headphones on.
It be like taking sweet from a baby.
- I wasn't thinking straight.
Because most of the time
she's got it locked anyway.
It's just on this one time she didn't.
- You're changing your
story, you can't do that.
You gotta keep lookout.
Yeah, you make sure she's doing
the Hoovering or something
and that Kevin geezer,
you make sure he's outside
or something, I can sort it out.
Just get that car around, get me the safe,
we put it in, slam the door.
Your debts over.
They'll just think it was
that Kevin bloke anyway.
- I don't think so.
- One of these days you're gonna wake up
and realize you owe me.
You're gonna wake up and realize
you gotta contribute a bit more.
You can't just take,
take, take all the time.
You've got to give something back.
- Well I won't come round then.
- Good, good yeah.
Don't come round.
Don't set one foot inside my property.
If you do, I'll call the police.
- I have shown my appreciation.
- Really?
If you can't afford to live,
you've gotta get a job.
- Hey, Teddy, it's me, Joe.
Your favorite support worker.
Come on, open up, I've got your breakfast.
Porridge and hot
chocolate and other things
but you're gonna have
to open up to find out.
Anyways, there's this um,
service user meeting in an hour.
You should really attend
and you should come out
your room some time.
You haven't come out in weeks, months.
Anyways, I'm gonna leave the food here
and you better get it fast
otherwise Kevin or Earl
will steal your breakfast.
Again.
- Sup bro?
Yeah, I'm at work right now.
So far so good.
Great, great, great.
Yeah, sure.
Count me in, count me in.
Oh yeah, bro.
Do you mind if I pay you
at the end of the month?
Great, awesome, awesome, awesome.
So, bruv...
- I am gonna kill you, motherfucker.
- Earl, give me the phone back.
- Earl's gonna kill someone.
- I'm coming to kill you.
- Earl, that's my brother
at the other line.
Give me the phone back.
- You're a dead man.
- Give me the damn phone, Earl.
- Sleep tight.
- Good one.
♪ Mister nobody ♪
- Give me that phone.
♪ Move move ♪
♪ Move ♪
♪ Oh when I'm the president ♪
♪ When I'm the president. ♪
Show you appreciate,
don't come round anymore.
I'll call the police if
I see you step one foot
on my property.
So, is there anything anyone
wants to talk about?
- Yeah.
I was speaking to the new fella.
You know Gabriel?
And he said he's gonna
get a private chef in here
'cause the foods rubbish.
- Kevin, I never said that.
- The food is rubbish though, right?
You said it yourself.
We don't eat enough vegetables.
- Kevin, you're the one who
never eats his vegetables.
Suddenly you're an
advocate for vegetables?
- What's an advocaat?
- Recommendation, innit?
- Safe, Gabby.
Earl should stop smashing phones, too.
- I didn't smash any phone.
- You're gonna pay for that.
This is not a
residents meetings matter, Kevin.
- You need to mind your own business
or I'll bloody well
strangle you in your sleep.
- Hey, take it easy.
- You tell him to take it easy.
- Both of you need to take it easy.
This is not a residents meeting matter.
Earl, sit back down or no allowance
which means no cigarettes
for you tomorrow.
Kevin, sit back down or no
bowling for you tomorrow.
And don't ask me for cigarettes
like you always keep doing.
- Hey, Teddy.
Lunch, got your favorite.
Peanut butter and chocolate.
Enjoy, man.
- Let me grab those for ya.
- I can manage.
- I don't mind.
I'll carry these for miles for you.
- I said I can manage.
Give me those bags back.
It's very rude of you
to take them like that.
- I was only trying to help.
- Well if everybody helped old people
they'd have nothing to do
and then they would die.
- Sorry, didn't know.
- That's okay.
You can carry them for me.
It's just round the corner.
- What's your number?
Would you like to go
bowling with me tomorrow?
- That's very strange.
I don't even know you and you ask
for my number to go bowling?
Do I look like someone who goes bowling?
I'm old enough to be your grandmother.
- Well, if you don't ask you don't get.
I'll come and pick you
up in a big white van
or we could walk.
Or cycle.
- Cycle?
Yeah, I got a new bike.
A cool bat that can borrow.
- I'm afraid my cycling days are over.
- I'll tell you what.
I'll pick you up in a white van tomorrow.
I've got me own private chauffeur.
He's named Luke Jones.
- I don't think so.
- Come on, you said so yourself.
If you don't do nothing, you'll die.
- Don't worry about me.
I'll keep myself busy.
- Is this your house here?
Do you want me to take the bags inside?
- Oh no, no.
That will be enough.
Thank you.
- I'll wash your car.
That's what I do, that's me business.
Kevin's car washes.
Is this your car?
I'll make it, I'll wash
it nice and sparkly.
- Oh, Kevin.
Do you live in the home on Albion street?
- Yeah, 17 Albion street.
How'd you know?
- It just dawned on me when
you mentioned the car wash.
I've heard about you.
- Yeah, I'm the best
car washer around here.
See, best car washer in Albion street.
I'm starting to branch out.
What you say?
Is this your car?
I'll wash it.
Five pounds, special deal.
Right, I'll do you, as mates rates.
Five pounds.
Make it look nice and sparkly.
Through mates rates it's a fiver.
- It's not my car.
I don't drive anymore.
Well, thank you for taking my bags for me.
Bye bye, Kevin.
- Teddy.
How'd you get here?
Whose looking after you?
They don't care about you, do they?
Come with me.
- I am on annual leave.
You do know that?
I did explain in the last team meeting
that if you have any issues,
you need to call the on
call manager, not me.
I told Luke to lock the damn bike
in the bike set so Kevin
couldn't get at it.
Who left the keys lying around?
You don't know.
Great.
Well we are all well aware
that the keys are not supposed
to be left lying around.
It's called safe counting.
Do I always need to be there
to make sure all hell doesn't break loose?
And surely my team leaders
can handle things when I'm not there.
Listen.
I am on holiday and I'll be gone
for two weeks fishing.
Don't call me.
- I remember when you first
moved into that house.
You were much smaller and younger then.
You still look the same, though.
Are they looking after you?
Stupid question.
Why would you be here.
Somebody must be
frantically looking for you.
Well, they should of been doing their job.
They're all a bunch of stupid people.
Well.
I live around the corner.
I'll make you your favorite, hot coco.
And I have lots of movies and comics
that you like, too.
Come on, let's go.
- Show your appreciation.
I show my appreciation.
What are you talking about?
She talking about?
Appreciation.
I always show my appreciation.
- What do you not understand
about calling the on call manager, not me.
I am on holiday.
Don't call me.
You are spoiling my peaceful moment.
How can she just lose Teddy?
Has the on call manager been called?
Why not?
You need to call and inform
the on call manager ASAP.
Did Alina call the police?
My god, you need to form...
You need to inform the police now.
You need to inform the on call manager.
These things should of been done already.
He should be your report of call, not me.
Bye.
17 Albion street.
One of these days
you're gonna wake up and realize
you gotta contribute a bit more.
You can't just take,
take, take all the time.
You've gotta give something back.
♪ is this an attempt ♪
♪ To be shocking ♪
♪ Are you always screaming for attention ♪
♪ Are you playing that old misfit again ♪
♪ I'm too old for this ♪
♪ I'm too old for this ♪
♪ I'm too old for this ♪
♪ Maybe its ♪
♪ paranoia ♪
♪ A midlife ♪
♪ Crisis ♪
♪ You always were ♪
♪ Dramatic ♪
♪ But I'm too old for this ♪
♪ I'm too old for this ♪
♪ I'm too old for this ♪
♪ I'm too old ♪
- Thanks for taking me bowling, Frank.
I always thought you didn't like me.
- Yeah, why'd you think that?
- Well, you're always
telling me to fuck off.
- I tell everyone to fuck off, mate.
- Is that why you went to jail?
- No.
- Why'd you go to jail then?
- What you think?
- You killed someone.
- Who told you that?
- Earl told me.
- Earl said that?
He's fucking having a laugh now.
I don't think I can
take much more of this.
- Not much more of what?
- Don't worry about it, Kev, yeah,
just stop asking stupid questions.
- See, you don't like me, do ya?
- I don't like questions.
You ask too many questions.
What you writing a book?
Finally.
Hello, mate.
Took your bloody time didn't ya?
It's all done, yeah?
Sweet.
You ain’t owned me though, have ya?
I can't meet, yeah.
I'll know if you owned me so don't, yeah.
All right mate, that's cool, sweet.
Well you should go and pay
for the debt now, won't ya?
All right.
Be on time.
I'll be about 15 minutes, yeah?
All right, mate, sweet, cheers.
- Who's that?
Have them what?
Debts?
15 minutes?
- Fuck off, Kevin.
Gotta go, mate.
- You gonna give us
a lift home?
- I don't think so, no.
- You said you were my friend.
You said you liked me.
How am I gonna go home?
How am I gonna?
Everyone gives me a
lift home after bowling.
How am I gonna get home if
you don't give me a lift home?
- Sorry, mate.
That ain’t my problem.
I'll see you later.
Cheers for the game.
Yeah, look after yourself.
See you later.
- I'll wash your car.
- Yeah, that's ridiculous that.
- Too much.
- Oi, you seen Earl?
- Earl who?
- Earl, everyone knows that fucking tramp.
Have you seen him?
- No, I haven't seen any Earl.
- Oh, he means the schizo.
No.
- No, no.
Not tonight, no.
- No, man.
- No.
- If you do, you tell him
I'm looking for him, yeah?
- All right?
- Always, man.
- Cheers.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Fucking bunch of tossers.
- Oh, all right.
- Hey old man, have you got a cigarette?
- What's in the black box?
- No, leave it.
He's a crazy man.
- Yeah, and stop stealing
our milk in the morning.
We know it's you.
My dad said if you do it
again he'll call the police.
Oh bother, do me.
17 Albion street.
Sylvio speaking.
- Sylvio, I'm scared.
Wake up Alina, she'll get
me a taxi cab back home.
- Kevin, really like, I don't want
to wake up Alina.
- She'll call a taxi.
She'll come and get me.
- Oh, wait up, Kevin.
Someones at the door.
I gotta check.
- Pick up the phone.
- I ain’t seen him.
He ain’t been in here for months,
but then, why would he be?
Can't afford a pint.
Can't even afford a packet peanuts.
Ain't seen you in awhile, either.
- Yeah I've been running around meself.
That's bastards running me dry.
- You're all heart, friend.
You're all heart.
- Yeah well I've run out
of heart for that geezer.
- Sylvio!
Pick up the phone.
Syl...
- He ain’t stupid, you know.
He used to work in the city.
- I know he's not stupid
but he lives in a home.
You know, a home with
people for mental problems.
- So what?
He talks to himself now and again.
Look, we're all a bit crazy at times,
you know what I mean?
- Not like that.
Don't give him too much credit.
Sometimes I think you'd do more of a favor
if you didn't help him out so much.
- No, no you are right
there, Harry, to be fair.
I won't be doing it again
and I tell you something,
I will be getting my money off him.
- And how are you gonna do that?
- Let's just say he's coming
into a little bit of money.
- That sounds familiar.
Lightning does strike in the
same place twice, does it?
Did even the lorry as well.
- Yeah, something like that.
- Frank, you of all people should know
money's a curse.
Money isn't the root of all evil
like everybody seems to think it is.
They misquote it and miss
the important part out.
It's the love of money
that's the root of all evil.
- Yeah?
I must be evil then.
'Cause I fucking love it.
- Don't call me by that name.
My names not Joshua, that's your name.
I don't want your name.
You can go to hell with your name.
You locked me in there.
I could of died in there because of you.
What mother does that to a little boy?
You can go to hell.
I don't want ya.
I don't want your damn money.
I don't want your birthday
cards, your Christmas cards.
I don't want your chocolate cake.
I don't want to see you here.
I don't want you around here.
You call me Earl.
You call me Earl.
- You, geezer, Earl.
If I was to offer you a drink
would you offer me a cigarette, too?
Its just that the shops
are starting to sour
and I smoked all mine.
- What you got to drink?
- Just a bottle of whiskey.
How's about that cigarette?
- Why didn't you bring the limousine?
- I'm sorry, sir but passengers
sit in the back seat.
- I think you're speaking of Sylvio.
I always sit in the front.
- Well not with me you don't, sir.
I'm sorry.
It's the back seat or we don't go.
- Why didn't you bring the limousine?
- Well this is a Mercedes, sir.
And anyway, it's the back seat
or we don't go anywhere.
- What's your name?
You look like Jose Mourinho,
the football manger.
- I never heard that one before.
- I play football for West Ham united.
You heard of me?
Kevin Dean.
Striker.
♪ We're forever blowing bubbles ♪
♪ Pre bubbles in the air ♪
♪ They fly so high ♪
♪ Almost reach the sky ♪
♪ They're like our dreams ♪
♪ They fade and die ♪
♪ Fortunes always hiding. ♪
- You're a regular Dean
Martin, aren't you?
Look, I don't watch football, okay?
- How'd you know who
Jose Mourinho is then?
- I don't.
- You do, you just said you did.
- No, I don't like football, okay?
So, you know, would
you mind please getting
in the back seat 'cause I'm
getting a real headache.
- Okay, Jose.
Who's your favorite football team?
Don't tell me, Chelsea.
♪ Chelsea ♪
- Look, I don't like footballers, okay?
I think they're a bunch of overpaid twats.
So would you please just
get in the backseat.
- Why, are you gonna die?
- Actually, you know
what, I've got stink up.
- Maybe you should go to the hospital,
see a doctor, speak to him about it.
Or a friend.
That's what I usually do.
I usually speak to Luke Jones.
- Who was you talking to earlier?
Nobody.
- What, was it a ghost?
- I said nobody.
- Is that a safe your sitting on there?
- Mind your own business.
- Hasn't got money in it, has it?
I've seen you around.
You live in the home on Albion street.
You're the guy that
steals milk in the morning
and talks to himself.
- Who the fuck are you?
- Well don't worry, I'm not a ghost.
My names Oberon.
- Obi-wan?
- Aint heard that one before.
- Do you want me to get in the back then?
Yes, please.
- Give back the bottle
before you drink it all.
Well, in that case give
me another cigarette
since you're drinking all my bottle.
Another cigarette would be good.
Take one more swig.
One more swig, big guy.
I might not look tough but I am.
That whiskey does way
more than your cigarettes.
Yeah, you hang around with
that guy Frank, don't you?
- Not anymore.
He wants to kill me.
- Okay, I see, I see.
Yeah, I must of run into him earlier.
Said he was looking for you.
- I ain’t afraid of him.
- He didn't seem too happy.
Told him I hadn't seen you.
But any chance it's got nothing
to with that safe you're sitting on?
- Cheers for the life, Jose
and next time, pick me up in the limo
and don't forget a bill.
Number 17 Albion street.
- Kevin, we're closed, mate.
But your lights are on.
- Oh, all right, come on.
- He left me at the airport bowl.
I had to find me own way home.
- Home?
Oh so this is your home now is it?
What you having, the usual?
- I'll have a beer.
- Can you pay for it?
- Put it on Luke Jones' tab.
- Oh no, no, no.
You're gonna have the usual.
- I didn't know that he
was such a sore loser.
I would of let him win otherwise.
- Who?
- Frank.
He left me at the airport bowl.
- Kevin, Frank's here.
- Kevin, you made it back all right then.
And what's this about you
beating me at bowling?
- You cheated.
- Come on, Kevin.
No hard feelings, mate.
- Buy us a coke, then.
- A coke?
Yeah, I suppose I'll get you a coke, yeah.
Only if you do me a favor.
I need some information
on one of your friends.
- Yeah.
What, Frank, what mate?
- Earl.
- He's not my mate.
- Get him a coke, Harry, will ya?
- One coke, Kevin,
then it's back to the home, okay?
- I might even give you
a lift back to the home.
- Really, Frank?
- Really.
- I didn't think you liked me.
- What gave you that idea, mate?
- I don't know what
you're cooking up, Frank,
but it don't sound good.
- Sounds good to me, Frank.
- Sounds good, boy.
All right, drink up, lads.
Time to go home.
- Oh give us a chance, will ya?
Go on.
- Yeah take it home, we'll go.
I'll give it back.
Yeah.
- Earl's afraid of the dark.
He only sleeps in the day.
- Well that will be even
easier for you then, won't it?
Just get in there, offer him a cigarette,
a peace offering if you like,
just get him out here.
- I can do that, Frank.
Earl's always asking me for cigarettes.
He don't have any of his own.
So he'll have to come out here, smoke it,
and speak to you.
- Yeah, that's the plan.
So you can follow it, yeah?
Just do it, Kevin, will ya?
- You're not gonna kill him, are ya?
- Will you stop asking
so many stupid questions?
Go in there, find him, give
him a cigarette if you have to
just get him out here.
- Sure, Frank.
- Don't fuck it up, Kevin.
- I won't fuck it up, Frank.
- You better not.
- You're not gonna hurt him, are ya?
- Are you having a laugh?
Have you seen the size of this geezer?
How am I gonna hurt him?
Just get him out here.
- What happens if he's not in?
- I'll wait here till
he comes home, won't I?
Now go on.
- Sylvio, Sylvio.
Sylvio, where's Earl?
- I don't know, he's not back yet.
- Oh, that's good.
- No, it's not.
He didn't take his medication.
- Well, it's better than being dead.
- Well, it is dangerous
but not life threatening.
Probably just means he'll talk to himself
for a little more.
- I wonder where he's gone?
I hope he's gonna be okay.
- I hope so, too,
but since when do you
even care about Earl?
- I just don't want him to die.
- Kevin, seriously, what's going on?
- Sylvio, Frank's outside
and he's gonna kill him.
He's standing outside with a gun.
He asked me to come up here
and get Earl, offer him a cigarette,
so he can go outside so he can kill him.
- Who's Frank?
Should we wake up Alina?
- No, no.
She's sleeping.
Just go see him, you know,
what's the big deal?
- I can't.
I'm tired and I got football
training in the morning
with Luke Jones.
Frank said if I fuck it up...
- Fuck what up?
- Where is this fucking geezer?
- The plan.
I'm mean to come in here,
offer Earl a cigarette
so he goes outside to smoke it
so Frank can shoot him.
- I just don't think I believe you, Kevin.
- I'm not lying.
I mean what's he doing out there?
- Let's see then.
He doesn't look happy.
- He always looks angry.
- Oi, you fucking rat!
- See?
He wants me to go outside
so he can kill me.
- Don't worry about it.
May I help you?
- Yeah, hello.
Yeah, can you get Earl for me, please?
- Sorry, bro, it's late.
Everyone's asleep.
- He's asleep.
Look, I don't believe ya.
He don't like the dark, remember,
so I don't think he's asleep.
Look, do me a favor,
tell him it's Frank
and get Kevin to send me out a cup of tea,
will ya?
It's freezing out here.
- Just get lost.
Like you can't stand there all night
in front of the house, seriously.
- Really, why is that then?
There's no law against it.
- No but I'm still gonna
call the cops on you.
- Look, mate, I'm not gonna hurt him.
He's a good friend of mine, yeah?
He's a very good friend of mine.
Just send him out here now, please?
I'm still going
to call the police on you.
- Just call them then
you fucking French prick!
Fuck's sake.
- We got three girls working tonight.
We got Sonya, 22.
Blonde, very beautiful.
A girl from Italy, yes.
And then we got Amber, 21.
34 C, darling.
A very beautiful, very lovely.
She's from Portugal.
Portugal, darling, yes.
Yes, yes.
Very lovely girl, darling.
Yes, yes.
And then we got Angelica.
Angelica's 26, 34 DD.
Very voluptuous.
From Romania, darling, yes, uh huh.
We are open until six.
Six!
Okay.
Darling it's like this.
80 for half and hour.
150 for the full hour, okay?
Okay, I'll see you soon, my darling.
Okay, bye bye.
Well hello, Earl.
Where have you been?
- I've been around.
- Why you have safe?
Long story.
- You didn't steal, did you?
- Yeah, I stole it from the home.
They don't give me enough money.
- Earl, you need to return it right away.
That home is all you have.
- Well, they don't satisfy my needs.
- Listen, we need Earl here.
It's busy soon and
yesterday we have trouble.
There is vodka and beer
for you in the fridge.
- Well, maybe I want to
be a customer tonight.
- You can't afford it.
- That's what this is for.
- Earl, that money in safe,
it's not yours to spend.
- She's right, Earl.
You need to take it back
before you get in trouble.
They throw you in jail.
That's all there is
their money inside there.
I work once in those home.
- Me, too.
The money was shit.
That money in safe, it's
not yours to spend, Earl.
Just come right in
there, upstairs darling.
The girls will go in to see you in minute.
- It's him.
- Who?
- The strange man.
We need Earl tonight.
- Earl, please.
There's never any
trouble when you're here.
- It's gonna cost you.
- There is plenty of
cigarettes and alcohol.
- Well, I've got cigarettes
and I'm not thirsty anymore.
I've come here for
completely different reasons.
- What reason?
- I don't want money.
I want one of you for an hour tonight.
- It's 150.
No way, Earl.
- He won't last one hour anyway.
- Well, it not fair if he chose me.
I do not get paid.
- It is the same for everybody, you know?
- Well, if you chose me
then you two should pay,
that is fair.
- Is okay for me.
- For me, too.
- Earl, you need to wait
till the end of night.
Okay, you cannot be bouncer and customer.
- And you need to make promise.
What?
- You need to bring
safe to home in morning.
- Listen, we need to see
who he chose upstairs.
Okay, I go first.
- Okay.
♪ Wake up for me ♪
♪ Wake up for me ♪
- He said that you
touched his bike yesterday
and because of that he's
been in a nasty accident.
Spent the whole night in the hospital.
He's lucky to be alive.
- I didn't touch his bike.
I don't know about this.
I know who did it, though.
- So who was it?
- It was Alina.
I see her messing around with the bike
behind the yards yesterday.
She hates Luke Jones.
They used to go out together
but they broke up 'cause Luke Jones
cheated on her with Rebecca,
who used to work here.
- Kevin, I don't know about this story
and I don't care.
What I do know is Luke
Jones is badly injured
and really pissed off at you.
- Forget about Frank.
You owe him nothing.
Stay away from him.
Gotta find new friends.
Friends that will appreciate your.
Like, like Amber.
She's the most beautiful
girl in the world.
Why does she have to do that job?
At least she's got a job, not like me.
I got a job as an unpaid pimp.
A pimp and a thief, like my father.
Oh Earl, you gotta repent.
Oh you gotta repent.
What am I doing with this thing, anyway?
They'll kick me out of 17 Albion street,
if they catch me.
I've got to,
I've got to return it
before Alina wakes up.
Sylvio.
Sylvio won't say anything.
- I don't know how to tell you this.
I'll give you a cigarette
in exchange of the truth.
- Okay, give us the cigarette first.
- No, you have to earn this one.
So, tell me.
Did you touch Luke Jones' bike?
- Okay, I did.
It was broken, I was
only trying to fix it.
- Thank you, Kevin but you
need to say that to him.
As I said, Luke was
really hurt last night.
Everyone will feel good about this
if you say that to him.
- Sorry.
Poor Luke Jones.
- Don't say sorry to me.
You gotta go tell that to him.
- I'm gonna save my allowance,
I'm not gonna buy any beer.
I'm gonna,
I'm want take my medication.
I want to go to sleep.
I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna change.
Yeah.
I'm gonna make those business cards,
I'm gonna hand them out to people.
There's always somebody who wants
to hire a smart guy
who's good with numbers
and I'm good with numbers.
I was the best accountant at the firm
and they knew it.
Oh.
- Do you know what time it is?
- You need your car washed again.
It rained last night.
- You washed my car yesterday, Kevin.
- But it rained last night.
- It doesn't need washing every day,
even if it rains.
- How 'bout your husband?
Doesn't Charlie want his car
looking nice and sparkly?
- Kevin, I need to go back to bed.
- Have you been down to the pub again?
- Listen, you can't come
knocking at the door
at all hours, okay?
Do you understand me?
Because I don't want to have
to call the home, again.
- You got any cigarettes?
They didn't give me me allowance
so I can't buy anymore.
- I don't care.
If I give you a cigarette,
then you're gonna come knocking
at the door at all hours
asking for another cigarette.
- You can pay me advance for
washing the car like you want,
Charlie said so.
I spoke to him yesterday
and he said come early and you'd pay me.
- No, Kevin.
Now you need to go home.
- You tell Charlie that
Chelsea are rubbish.
- I'll tell him when he wakes up.
- You're looking lovely this morning.
Charlie's a lucky man.
If you ever get tired of
that grumpy old bugger.
- Yeah, yeah.
I know that guy.
He lives in that home on Albion street.
I haven't seen him in ages, though.
That guys creepy.
- How 'bout you?
- That guy is crazy.
He stole sweets from a sweet shop
and he scratches people a lot.
- Well, you can keep the paper.
If you see anything,
just call that number.
- You aint no gangster, Frank.
You think you're from the East End?
You're not from the East End.
You aint no gangster.
Right, I'm a chameleon.
Yeah.
I'm a chameleon.
I'm camouflaged.
Oh yeah, camouflaged.
Earl camouflaged, like the sound of that.
Oh yeah.
Gotta get me a gun or a knife.
I aint afraid of you, Frank.
I owe you nothing.
You offered it to me, I didn't ask for it
and now it's all gone.
You want it back.
Nah.
You been watching too many movies, Frank.
You're not a gangster.
You aint no gangster.
- Should we play these guys?
- Kevin, they're a bit young.
- Guys, do you want a game?
- I'm not playing football.
- Come on, Joe.
Luke Jones always plays.
- Well we both know why he's not here.
I'll watch, you play.
Behave yourself, Kevin.
Okay?
- You think you're from the East End?
I hope you're okay, friend.
I hope you're okay.
He tried to help me but I,
I wasn't one to listen.
I hope you're okay.
I mean, I hope you're okay.
You better be okay.
Yeah.
- Hey, Earl.
Remember me?
- Obi-wan.
- Oberon.
- That's a funny name.
- So is Earl.
One would think you're
royalty or something
but you're certainly not that.
- Maybe I am.
- Yeah, right.
The Earl of Isleworth.
Nice.
- I like that.
The Earl of Isleworth.
- You guys having a match?
Guy, come on.
- Do you want a game?
I'm really good.
I'm a striker for West Ham united.
Kevin Dean, you heard of me?
- No.
- Come on man, West Ham is shit.
- What you say?
- Behave yourself, Kevin.
- Come on, big guy.
It's only a joke.
- Not funny.
West Ham won the world cup.
- Oh come on, man.
No they didn't.
- How can West Ham win the world cup?
- Easy, they're that good.
That's bollocks.
♪ You said ♪
♪ It wasn't gonna be like that ♪
♪ You said ♪
♪ So many things about ♪
♪ So many things about ♪
♪ So many things ♪
♪ That I wanted to believe in ♪
♪ And I did ♪
♪ But when it came true ♪
♪ At least some of what you said ♪
♪ Didn't mean anything ♪
♪ Anymore ♪
♪ Bird had flew ♪
♪ The ship had sailed ♪
- You're on my team.
♪ I was born years before ♪
♪ It took too long to get there ♪
♪ Took too long to get there ♪
♪ But you promised me ♪
♪ You said ♪
♪ Why did you have to string me along ♪
♪ When you knew all along ♪
♪ That's an awful thing to do to someone ♪
♪ To steal their life ♪
♪ Steal the best years of their lives ♪
♪ I'll never forgive you
for what you've done ♪
♪ And then you have to go
ahead and pull this stunt ♪
♪ You said ♪
♪ It wasn't gonna be like that ♪
♪ You said ♪
♪ So many things ♪
- Who were you talking to?
- It was a friend.
He was in an accident.
He might not come through.
- Yeah, what happened?
- A lorry hit him on his
bicycle the other night.
- Damn.
Think I heard about that actually,
I heard he died.
So where's the safe?
- There is no safe.
- Hope you didn't get into any trouble.
- Nah.
- Hi, Melissa.
That was my idea, yes.
Well, as you know, Earl talks to himself
and recently he had
been talking to himself
about stealing the house safe.
So we planted a fake safe in the office
and made him think that
was where all the money was
rather than in the actual
safe in the second office.
Not that he'd of got very far
because it's bolted to the wall
but best not to take any chances.
Anyways, apparently he did take the safe
but what was really lovely, I thought,
was that Earl returned it.
His conscience got the better of him, yes.
Okay, Melissa.
All right, I'll talk to you later.
Okay, have a good day.
Bye bye.
- That's good to know.
Did that Frank guy ever find you?
- No.
No.
- Is he still looking for you?
- Yeah.
He came to the home, wanting to kill me.
But they called the police
and now he can't come anywhere near me.
But that aint gonna work.
That's gonna make him more angry.
He think he's a gangster.
He's been watching too many movies.
- That's explain it.
That's why you're wearing
the glasses and hat, right?
- Is it too obvious?
- It's a nice disguise.
Yeah.
It's all good though, man .
Good to be hiding out,
looking after yourself.
- You keep cheating.
That goal didn't count.
- Bollocks.
- You fouled me, red card.
- I didn't touch you.
- He didn't touch you, you lost the ball.
- One oh, you cheated.
- You're shit.
- You what?
- You wanna fucking scrap?
You can have it then.
- He's cheating.
- It's over.
You're crap.
My dead nan's better than you.
- They cheated.
- Come on, let's go.
Have a cigarette.
Settle down, okay?
Who knows, we'll get some
fish and chips later on.
- I play for West Ham United!
Bollocks!
- Come on.
- Oh geeze, that guy was nuts.
- Oi, how can he think
West Ham won the world cup?
- Why does he want to kill you anyway?
- Well, you see I, I drank his alcohol.
I smoked his cigarettes and his weed,
I ate his food, and I snorted his charlie.
He was offering, so I took it, you know?
I didn't know he was running a tab.
- I don't see what you did wrong.
If he was offering in most circumstances
it would be considered rude to say no.
Right?
I'd of done it, anyone would of done it.
If you want, I can sort him out for you.
If you'd like.
- How is that?
- Probably best you don't know how.
Just give me the word
and I'll take care of it.
- Well, well, well, well.
I mean why would you do a
topper like that for me?
I mean, you hardly know.
- I can read people.
I can tell people apart.
Good ones and the bad ones
and you're one of the good guys.
Plus, I never liked woodies.
Never have.
- Yeah.
- Hi, there.
Have you seen Teddy Vitalli?
This is his picture right here.
- How am I supposed to
know what he looks like?
He's got a mask on.
- Oh, he always wears a mask.
He's autistic.
He never walks outside or
anywhere without a mask.
- Right, okay.
- Any sign of him at all?
- I can't, I can't say
I recall seeing him.
I think I'd of noticed.
- All right.
- To be honest.
But, sorry no.
No can do.
- Okay, but if you do see him.
Please just call this number right here.
- You want me to keep this then?
- Yes, keep it.
- Okay.
- Right, thank you so much.
- Right.
Hello, Earl.
You've been avoiding me.
- Hello ladies and gentlemen.
We have a new performer
with us here tonight,
go easy on him.
He's coming all the way from
Hauser to be here with us.
He's got a big heart, a
little rough around the edges.
Ladies and gentlemen,
put your hands together
for Frank Lyle.
- Anyone of you laughs, I
will fucking cut you open.
I'm a good geezer, I'm
a good geezer, yeah?
I give money to my friends.
Earl.
I gave him loads of money.
I wanted to help him get back on his feet.
Yeah, he's a bit loony.
I mean, he did turn me
over, stitched me up.
I mean literally fucking shat all over me.
What are you fucking looking at?
I tell you what, mate.
I'll fucking come down
and I'll slice you open,
is that what you want.
Eh?
I'm on pills!
I'm here to be nice, yeah?
And I think my purpose,
I think my purpose to be really pleased.
Yeah?
With how this is going.
Because I aint fucking
hit no one yet, have I?
Come on.
Here mate.
Tell us some jokes.
- Jokes, fucking jokes.
I'm not here to amuse you, mate.
What you think this is a zoo?
Is it, is it a zoo?
I don't know what animal that is.
Don't go to zoos do I, know what I mean?
You know I suppose you heard from,
my mate Earl is here tonight.
Earl, you said you'd come
and support me, mate.
Didn't ya?
Is he here?
Probably at home still in bed
because he's a schizophrenic.
Is that funny?
You laugh at the disabilities.
I'll kill you, Earl.
I won't kill you, Earl.
I won't kill you, Earl.
Earl, Earl.
I mean your sagging right now.
- Shut up.
I won the lottery.
I won the lottery.
Oh, good for you.
- Yeah, good for me.
I ripped myself up didn't I?
Take away the whole lot, why not.
What do you want, fucking Shakespeare?
How 'bout that?
Now,
I picked up a pen and I
didn't stab it someone's neck.
I'm watching dive, huh mate.
No, I've got that bit of paper, didn't I?
If I'm guilty of one thing,
it's believing in my friend Earl
that he can be better.
You know what, Earl?
I'm not sweet for that.
And that is what I call a real friend.
- Very entertaining.
Everyone give it up for Frank Lyle.
Maybe Frank was right.
He was always trying to help me out.
Maybe he is a real friend.
The only friend I've got.
Then why does he judge me?
A real friend shouldn't judge you.
A real friend accepts his friends
for who they are.
A friend shouldn't judge.
Oberon doesn't judge me.
He accepts me for who I am.
It's not my fault the home
doesn't give me enough money.
How am I supposed to
live on 10 pounds a day?
It scarcely covers the cost
of a packet of cigarettes
and a couple of beers.
The girls don't pay me.
They need me.
They let me drink, smoke.
I can't stand it when they
go with those other men.
It's not fair.
Oh, who I am to talk?
You're a phony, Earl.
Phony.
If I had the money, I could
take her out of there.
Who's gonna hire a crazy man?
That's what they call me.
A crazy man who talks to himself.
You've got to stop
talking to yourself, Earl.
You've gotta get out
there and at least try.
Try at least.
So that even if you don't
succeed, then maybe,
you can't, they can't give you the...
They can't blame you for that.
Talk is cheap.
Shut up, Earl.
Talk is cheap.
- Hello, Earl.
You've been avoiding me.
You're a dead man.
Wake up!
- Harry, you in?
Harry!
- So you've heard the news then?
You seem to be taking it well.
You okay?
I still can't believe it myself.
- What news?
- You don't know?
- What news, Harry?
- I aint sure I'm the one
that should be telling you this, Kevin.
- Go on, Harry, tell us.
- I don't know.
Maybe after you've washed the car.
- Tell me now.
Almost finished, Harry.
Then you could tell me this secret.
- I wish to God I never brought it up.
You're never gonna give
up on that now, are ya?
All finished, Harry.
Nice and sparkly.
- I'll be the judge of that.
Personal space, Kevin.
- So what's this thing
you were gonna tell me?
- Nevermind about that.
How much do I owe ya?
- 10 quid.
- 10 quid?
You're having a laugh, aint ya?
- Your car was filthy, Harry.
You need to get it cleaned more often.
Look at it now, nice and sparkly.
- You're a hell of a salesman, Kevin.
Nice and sparkly.
That's a great catchphrase.
Yeah, I like that.
- Luke Jones told me to say it.
He said I'll get more customers.
- Oh did he?
- Yeah, he did.
- Did it work?
- I'm the best car
washer on Albion street.
- Well, you're bloody persistent
and you're a hard worker.
- Cheers, Harry.
Now, what's this secret?
You promised.
- Look.
I'll give you the tenner and
we'll forget about the secret
or I'll tell you and we call it a fiver.
- Come on, Harry.
Just tell us.
- Yeah, I found Teddy Vitalli.
Teddy is autistic and
he doesn't really speak.
But he wears a mask everywhere
and I've got his mask here.
I found it on the side of a fence.
Is there anything you can do?
Should I come in?
Should I put it forward for investigation?
I don't really know what to do with it.
- Yes?
- I've come to give these to Luke's mum.
It's because he's dead.
- She's not here.
She left and Luke is not dead.
- He's alive?
- Who told you he was dead?
- Harry, the barman.
- Well, he's not dead.
He's lucky to be alive.
Some asshole fucked with his bicycle
and he had a bad accident.
- Could I come in then?
I'm his best friend.
- Really?
You must be Kevin.
- How'd you know that then?
I put two and two together.
- Could I come in then?
- Listen, Kevin.
He doesn't want to see you.
He's still a bit angry at you.
- I'm sorry.
I was only trying to fix the bike.
I thought it was broken.
- Well, that's good you're sorry
but he still doesn't want to see you.
He told me to tell you when you came.
- Could you give him them then?
- I'll give them to him.
- And tell Luke Jones I miss him.
- Okay.
Come back in a month.
Give it some time for him to calm down.
I told him you didn't want to see him.
He brought this.
- Throw them in the bin.
- He seemed pretty upset.
He thought you were dead.
It cheered him up to
hear that you are not.
- Why did he think I was dead?
- He said Harry the barman told him that.
- Fucking rumors.
You should of told him I was dead.
He's gonna be around here now everyday.
He'll be the one that's
dead if I get ahold of him.
- He said you are his best friend.
- I just don't know why he'd
go messing around with my bike.
- You used to be so fond of him.
Kevin this, Kevin that.
You went to Portugal with him and Greece.
You got to West Ham games with him.
You guys play football...
- Well, that's it.
I'm not doing it anymore.
I quit that stupid job.
I'm done with it.
Tell him I am dead.
- Luke, Luke.
I've said I'm sorry.
Here, I brought you some beers this time.
- I told you you should
of said that I was dead.
Come on, answer the door.
- Beer, not bad.
Luke.
I was well pleased to
find out you weren't dead.
How's your head?
♪ Stand in cars ♪
♪ And people they wave ♪
♪ The bowls still fizzing ♪
♪ And we're the match ♪
♪ Drink up my darling ♪
♪ There specially dauntless tonight ♪
♪ The waiter was clumsy ♪
♪ The food was lousy ♪
- Oh, he has a new friend.
♪ The whole thing was a mess ♪
♪ Wasn't for you ♪
♪ Would of been a disaster ♪
♪ If you weren't holding my hand ♪
♪ Sleeping on my shoulder ♪
- Luke Jones.
Luke Jones, is that you?
I'm sorry, all right?
I'm sorry.
I won't touch your bike again.
I promise.
I'm sorry.
Oh come on.
Answer the door.
Oh.
Luke!
Come on.
Oh.
Luke Jones.
Are you all right?
- I've been better, mate.
- You want to play football?
- With this?
It's probably best not.
Come on in.
♪ Lucky in love ♪
♪ Lucky in life ♪
♪ Catch the rhythm on a motorbike ♪
♪ How he keeps his balance ♪
♪ The ways he can sit ♪
Luke Jones.
They've thrown Earl in the slammer.
He threw the TV through the window.
They've sectioned him.
- He'll get the death penalty for that.
- Well, he should.
He can't act like that 'round here.
- Too right.
You want to be careful, too, though.
Watch how many you smoke of those.
- It's me first one all day.
- It's seven o'clock in the morning, Kev.
Remember your allowance.
And for the love of God,
do not tinker with my bike.
- I haven't touched your bike.
It weren't me.
It was the new fella, Gabriel.
He was trying to nick your tires.
- Watch it, Kev.
- Why does everyone always blame me?
- Don't go messing with my bike.
- Oh, shut up.
♪ I've been blowing bubbles ♪
♪ It goes in the air ♪
♪ They fly so high ♪
♪ Till they reach the sky ♪
♪ They're like my dreams ♪
♪ They fade and die ♪
- It's like taking sweets from a baby.
That's how you described it.
- I don't remember saying that.
- You don't remember saying it?
- I was drunk.
- Well, let me refresh your memory.
- I don't want to remember.
- Oh, you do.
This is a good memory.
You want to keep this one.
You said that dopey old woman
who does the night shift
she always leaves the back door open
when she's moving, yeah?
45 minutes it takes her, you said.
She goes into a trance.
She sings with her headphones on.
It be like taking sweet from a baby.
- I wasn't thinking straight.
Because most of the time
she's got it locked anyway.
It's just on this one time she didn't.
- You're changing your
story, you can't do that.
You gotta keep lookout.
Yeah, you make sure she's doing
the Hoovering or something
and that Kevin geezer,
you make sure he's outside
or something, I can sort it out.
Just get that car around, get me the safe,
we put it in, slam the door.
Your debts over.
They'll just think it was
that Kevin bloke anyway.
- I don't think so.
- One of these days you're gonna wake up
and realize you owe me.
You're gonna wake up and realize
you gotta contribute a bit more.
You can't just take,
take, take all the time.
You've got to give something back.
- Well I won't come round then.
- Good, good yeah.
Don't come round.
Don't set one foot inside my property.
If you do, I'll call the police.
- I have shown my appreciation.
- Really?
If you can't afford to live,
you've gotta get a job.
- Hey, Teddy, it's me, Joe.
Your favorite support worker.
Come on, open up, I've got your breakfast.
Porridge and hot
chocolate and other things
but you're gonna have
to open up to find out.
Anyways, there's this um,
service user meeting in an hour.
You should really attend
and you should come out
your room some time.
You haven't come out in weeks, months.
Anyways, I'm gonna leave the food here
and you better get it fast
otherwise Kevin or Earl
will steal your breakfast.
Again.
- Sup bro?
Yeah, I'm at work right now.
So far so good.
Great, great, great.
Yeah, sure.
Count me in, count me in.
Oh yeah, bro.
Do you mind if I pay you
at the end of the month?
Great, awesome, awesome, awesome.
So, bruv...
- I am gonna kill you, motherfucker.
- Earl, give me the phone back.
- Earl's gonna kill someone.
- I'm coming to kill you.
- Earl, that's my brother
at the other line.
Give me the phone back.
- You're a dead man.
- Give me the damn phone, Earl.
- Sleep tight.
- Good one.
♪ Mister nobody ♪
- Give me that phone.
♪ Move move ♪
♪ Move ♪
♪ Oh when I'm the president ♪
♪ When I'm the president. ♪
Show you appreciate,
don't come round anymore.
I'll call the police if
I see you step one foot
on my property.
So, is there anything anyone
wants to talk about?
- Yeah.
I was speaking to the new fella.
You know Gabriel?
And he said he's gonna
get a private chef in here
'cause the foods rubbish.
- Kevin, I never said that.
- The food is rubbish though, right?
You said it yourself.
We don't eat enough vegetables.
- Kevin, you're the one who
never eats his vegetables.
Suddenly you're an
advocate for vegetables?
- What's an advocaat?
- Recommendation, innit?
- Safe, Gabby.
Earl should stop smashing phones, too.
- I didn't smash any phone.
- You're gonna pay for that.
This is not a
residents meetings matter, Kevin.
- You need to mind your own business
or I'll bloody well
strangle you in your sleep.
- Hey, take it easy.
- You tell him to take it easy.
- Both of you need to take it easy.
This is not a residents meeting matter.
Earl, sit back down or no allowance
which means no cigarettes
for you tomorrow.
Kevin, sit back down or no
bowling for you tomorrow.
And don't ask me for cigarettes
like you always keep doing.
- Hey, Teddy.
Lunch, got your favorite.
Peanut butter and chocolate.
Enjoy, man.
- Let me grab those for ya.
- I can manage.
- I don't mind.
I'll carry these for miles for you.
- I said I can manage.
Give me those bags back.
It's very rude of you
to take them like that.
- I was only trying to help.
- Well if everybody helped old people
they'd have nothing to do
and then they would die.
- Sorry, didn't know.
- That's okay.
You can carry them for me.
It's just round the corner.
- What's your number?
Would you like to go
bowling with me tomorrow?
- That's very strange.
I don't even know you and you ask
for my number to go bowling?
Do I look like someone who goes bowling?
I'm old enough to be your grandmother.
- Well, if you don't ask you don't get.
I'll come and pick you
up in a big white van
or we could walk.
Or cycle.
- Cycle?
Yeah, I got a new bike.
A cool bat that can borrow.
- I'm afraid my cycling days are over.
- I'll tell you what.
I'll pick you up in a white van tomorrow.
I've got me own private chauffeur.
He's named Luke Jones.
- I don't think so.
- Come on, you said so yourself.
If you don't do nothing, you'll die.
- Don't worry about me.
I'll keep myself busy.
- Is this your house here?
Do you want me to take the bags inside?
- Oh no, no.
That will be enough.
Thank you.
- I'll wash your car.
That's what I do, that's me business.
Kevin's car washes.
Is this your car?
I'll make it, I'll wash
it nice and sparkly.
- Oh, Kevin.
Do you live in the home on Albion street?
- Yeah, 17 Albion street.
How'd you know?
- It just dawned on me when
you mentioned the car wash.
I've heard about you.
- Yeah, I'm the best
car washer around here.
See, best car washer in Albion street.
I'm starting to branch out.
What you say?
Is this your car?
I'll wash it.
Five pounds, special deal.
Right, I'll do you, as mates rates.
Five pounds.
Make it look nice and sparkly.
Through mates rates it's a fiver.
- It's not my car.
I don't drive anymore.
Well, thank you for taking my bags for me.
Bye bye, Kevin.
- Teddy.
How'd you get here?
Whose looking after you?
They don't care about you, do they?
Come with me.
- I am on annual leave.
You do know that?
I did explain in the last team meeting
that if you have any issues,
you need to call the on
call manager, not me.
I told Luke to lock the damn bike
in the bike set so Kevin
couldn't get at it.
Who left the keys lying around?
You don't know.
Great.
Well we are all well aware
that the keys are not supposed
to be left lying around.
It's called safe counting.
Do I always need to be there
to make sure all hell doesn't break loose?
And surely my team leaders
can handle things when I'm not there.
Listen.
I am on holiday and I'll be gone
for two weeks fishing.
Don't call me.
- I remember when you first
moved into that house.
You were much smaller and younger then.
You still look the same, though.
Are they looking after you?
Stupid question.
Why would you be here.
Somebody must be
frantically looking for you.
Well, they should of been doing their job.
They're all a bunch of stupid people.
Well.
I live around the corner.
I'll make you your favorite, hot coco.
And I have lots of movies and comics
that you like, too.
Come on, let's go.
- Show your appreciation.
I show my appreciation.
What are you talking about?
She talking about?
Appreciation.
I always show my appreciation.
- What do you not understand
about calling the on call manager, not me.
I am on holiday.
Don't call me.
You are spoiling my peaceful moment.
How can she just lose Teddy?
Has the on call manager been called?
Why not?
You need to call and inform
the on call manager ASAP.
Did Alina call the police?
My god, you need to form...
You need to inform the police now.
You need to inform the on call manager.
These things should of been done already.
He should be your report of call, not me.
Bye.
17 Albion street.
One of these days
you're gonna wake up and realize
you gotta contribute a bit more.
You can't just take,
take, take all the time.
You've gotta give something back.
♪ is this an attempt ♪
♪ To be shocking ♪
♪ Are you always screaming for attention ♪
♪ Are you playing that old misfit again ♪
♪ I'm too old for this ♪
♪ I'm too old for this ♪
♪ I'm too old for this ♪
♪ Maybe its ♪
♪ paranoia ♪
♪ A midlife ♪
♪ Crisis ♪
♪ You always were ♪
♪ Dramatic ♪
♪ But I'm too old for this ♪
♪ I'm too old for this ♪
♪ I'm too old for this ♪
♪ I'm too old ♪
- Thanks for taking me bowling, Frank.
I always thought you didn't like me.
- Yeah, why'd you think that?
- Well, you're always
telling me to fuck off.
- I tell everyone to fuck off, mate.
- Is that why you went to jail?
- No.
- Why'd you go to jail then?
- What you think?
- You killed someone.
- Who told you that?
- Earl told me.
- Earl said that?
He's fucking having a laugh now.
I don't think I can
take much more of this.
- Not much more of what?
- Don't worry about it, Kev, yeah,
just stop asking stupid questions.
- See, you don't like me, do ya?
- I don't like questions.
You ask too many questions.
What you writing a book?
Finally.
Hello, mate.
Took your bloody time didn't ya?
It's all done, yeah?
Sweet.
You ain’t owned me though, have ya?
I can't meet, yeah.
I'll know if you owned me so don't, yeah.
All right mate, that's cool, sweet.
Well you should go and pay
for the debt now, won't ya?
All right.
Be on time.
I'll be about 15 minutes, yeah?
All right, mate, sweet, cheers.
- Who's that?
Have them what?
Debts?
15 minutes?
- Fuck off, Kevin.
Gotta go, mate.
- You gonna give us
a lift home?
- I don't think so, no.
- You said you were my friend.
You said you liked me.
How am I gonna go home?
How am I gonna?
Everyone gives me a
lift home after bowling.
How am I gonna get home if
you don't give me a lift home?
- Sorry, mate.
That ain’t my problem.
I'll see you later.
Cheers for the game.
Yeah, look after yourself.
See you later.
- I'll wash your car.
- Yeah, that's ridiculous that.
- Too much.
- Oi, you seen Earl?
- Earl who?
- Earl, everyone knows that fucking tramp.
Have you seen him?
- No, I haven't seen any Earl.
- Oh, he means the schizo.
No.
- No, no.
Not tonight, no.
- No, man.
- No.
- If you do, you tell him
I'm looking for him, yeah?
- All right?
- Always, man.
- Cheers.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Fucking bunch of tossers.
- Oh, all right.
- Hey old man, have you got a cigarette?
- What's in the black box?
- No, leave it.
He's a crazy man.
- Yeah, and stop stealing
our milk in the morning.
We know it's you.
My dad said if you do it
again he'll call the police.
Oh bother, do me.
17 Albion street.
Sylvio speaking.
- Sylvio, I'm scared.
Wake up Alina, she'll get
me a taxi cab back home.
- Kevin, really like, I don't want
to wake up Alina.
- She'll call a taxi.
She'll come and get me.
- Oh, wait up, Kevin.
Someones at the door.
I gotta check.
- Pick up the phone.
- I ain’t seen him.
He ain’t been in here for months,
but then, why would he be?
Can't afford a pint.
Can't even afford a packet peanuts.
Ain't seen you in awhile, either.
- Yeah I've been running around meself.
That's bastards running me dry.
- You're all heart, friend.
You're all heart.
- Yeah well I've run out
of heart for that geezer.
- Sylvio!
Pick up the phone.
Syl...
- He ain’t stupid, you know.
He used to work in the city.
- I know he's not stupid
but he lives in a home.
You know, a home with
people for mental problems.
- So what?
He talks to himself now and again.
Look, we're all a bit crazy at times,
you know what I mean?
- Not like that.
Don't give him too much credit.
Sometimes I think you'd do more of a favor
if you didn't help him out so much.
- No, no you are right
there, Harry, to be fair.
I won't be doing it again
and I tell you something,
I will be getting my money off him.
- And how are you gonna do that?
- Let's just say he's coming
into a little bit of money.
- That sounds familiar.
Lightning does strike in the
same place twice, does it?
Did even the lorry as well.
- Yeah, something like that.
- Frank, you of all people should know
money's a curse.
Money isn't the root of all evil
like everybody seems to think it is.
They misquote it and miss
the important part out.
It's the love of money
that's the root of all evil.
- Yeah?
I must be evil then.
'Cause I fucking love it.
- Don't call me by that name.
My names not Joshua, that's your name.
I don't want your name.
You can go to hell with your name.
You locked me in there.
I could of died in there because of you.
What mother does that to a little boy?
You can go to hell.
I don't want ya.
I don't want your damn money.
I don't want your birthday
cards, your Christmas cards.
I don't want your chocolate cake.
I don't want to see you here.
I don't want you around here.
You call me Earl.
You call me Earl.
- You, geezer, Earl.
If I was to offer you a drink
would you offer me a cigarette, too?
Its just that the shops
are starting to sour
and I smoked all mine.
- What you got to drink?
- Just a bottle of whiskey.
How's about that cigarette?
- Why didn't you bring the limousine?
- I'm sorry, sir but passengers
sit in the back seat.
- I think you're speaking of Sylvio.
I always sit in the front.
- Well not with me you don't, sir.
I'm sorry.
It's the back seat or we don't go.
- Why didn't you bring the limousine?
- Well this is a Mercedes, sir.
And anyway, it's the back seat
or we don't go anywhere.
- What's your name?
You look like Jose Mourinho,
the football manger.
- I never heard that one before.
- I play football for West Ham united.
You heard of me?
Kevin Dean.
Striker.
♪ We're forever blowing bubbles ♪
♪ Pre bubbles in the air ♪
♪ They fly so high ♪
♪ Almost reach the sky ♪
♪ They're like our dreams ♪
♪ They fade and die ♪
♪ Fortunes always hiding. ♪
- You're a regular Dean
Martin, aren't you?
Look, I don't watch football, okay?
- How'd you know who
Jose Mourinho is then?
- I don't.
- You do, you just said you did.
- No, I don't like football, okay?
So, you know, would
you mind please getting
in the back seat 'cause I'm
getting a real headache.
- Okay, Jose.
Who's your favorite football team?
Don't tell me, Chelsea.
♪ Chelsea ♪
- Look, I don't like footballers, okay?
I think they're a bunch of overpaid twats.
So would you please just
get in the backseat.
- Why, are you gonna die?
- Actually, you know
what, I've got stink up.
- Maybe you should go to the hospital,
see a doctor, speak to him about it.
Or a friend.
That's what I usually do.
I usually speak to Luke Jones.
- Who was you talking to earlier?
Nobody.
- What, was it a ghost?
- I said nobody.
- Is that a safe your sitting on there?
- Mind your own business.
- Hasn't got money in it, has it?
I've seen you around.
You live in the home on Albion street.
You're the guy that
steals milk in the morning
and talks to himself.
- Who the fuck are you?
- Well don't worry, I'm not a ghost.
My names Oberon.
- Obi-wan?
- Aint heard that one before.
- Do you want me to get in the back then?
Yes, please.
- Give back the bottle
before you drink it all.
Well, in that case give
me another cigarette
since you're drinking all my bottle.
Another cigarette would be good.
Take one more swig.
One more swig, big guy.
I might not look tough but I am.
That whiskey does way
more than your cigarettes.
Yeah, you hang around with
that guy Frank, don't you?
- Not anymore.
He wants to kill me.
- Okay, I see, I see.
Yeah, I must of run into him earlier.
Said he was looking for you.
- I ain’t afraid of him.
- He didn't seem too happy.
Told him I hadn't seen you.
But any chance it's got nothing
to with that safe you're sitting on?
- Cheers for the life, Jose
and next time, pick me up in the limo
and don't forget a bill.
Number 17 Albion street.
- Kevin, we're closed, mate.
But your lights are on.
- Oh, all right, come on.
- He left me at the airport bowl.
I had to find me own way home.
- Home?
Oh so this is your home now is it?
What you having, the usual?
- I'll have a beer.
- Can you pay for it?
- Put it on Luke Jones' tab.
- Oh no, no, no.
You're gonna have the usual.
- I didn't know that he
was such a sore loser.
I would of let him win otherwise.
- Who?
- Frank.
He left me at the airport bowl.
- Kevin, Frank's here.
- Kevin, you made it back all right then.
And what's this about you
beating me at bowling?
- You cheated.
- Come on, Kevin.
No hard feelings, mate.
- Buy us a coke, then.
- A coke?
Yeah, I suppose I'll get you a coke, yeah.
Only if you do me a favor.
I need some information
on one of your friends.
- Yeah.
What, Frank, what mate?
- Earl.
- He's not my mate.
- Get him a coke, Harry, will ya?
- One coke, Kevin,
then it's back to the home, okay?
- I might even give you
a lift back to the home.
- Really, Frank?
- Really.
- I didn't think you liked me.
- What gave you that idea, mate?
- I don't know what
you're cooking up, Frank,
but it don't sound good.
- Sounds good to me, Frank.
- Sounds good, boy.
All right, drink up, lads.
Time to go home.
- Oh give us a chance, will ya?
Go on.
- Yeah take it home, we'll go.
I'll give it back.
Yeah.
- Earl's afraid of the dark.
He only sleeps in the day.
- Well that will be even
easier for you then, won't it?
Just get in there, offer him a cigarette,
a peace offering if you like,
just get him out here.
- I can do that, Frank.
Earl's always asking me for cigarettes.
He don't have any of his own.
So he'll have to come out here, smoke it,
and speak to you.
- Yeah, that's the plan.
So you can follow it, yeah?
Just do it, Kevin, will ya?
- You're not gonna kill him, are ya?
- Will you stop asking
so many stupid questions?
Go in there, find him, give
him a cigarette if you have to
just get him out here.
- Sure, Frank.
- Don't fuck it up, Kevin.
- I won't fuck it up, Frank.
- You better not.
- You're not gonna hurt him, are ya?
- Are you having a laugh?
Have you seen the size of this geezer?
How am I gonna hurt him?
Just get him out here.
- What happens if he's not in?
- I'll wait here till
he comes home, won't I?
Now go on.
- Sylvio, Sylvio.
Sylvio, where's Earl?
- I don't know, he's not back yet.
- Oh, that's good.
- No, it's not.
He didn't take his medication.
- Well, it's better than being dead.
- Well, it is dangerous
but not life threatening.
Probably just means he'll talk to himself
for a little more.
- I wonder where he's gone?
I hope he's gonna be okay.
- I hope so, too,
but since when do you
even care about Earl?
- I just don't want him to die.
- Kevin, seriously, what's going on?
- Sylvio, Frank's outside
and he's gonna kill him.
He's standing outside with a gun.
He asked me to come up here
and get Earl, offer him a cigarette,
so he can go outside so he can kill him.
- Who's Frank?
Should we wake up Alina?
- No, no.
She's sleeping.
Just go see him, you know,
what's the big deal?
- I can't.
I'm tired and I got football
training in the morning
with Luke Jones.
Frank said if I fuck it up...
- Fuck what up?
- Where is this fucking geezer?
- The plan.
I'm mean to come in here,
offer Earl a cigarette
so he goes outside to smoke it
so Frank can shoot him.
- I just don't think I believe you, Kevin.
- I'm not lying.
I mean what's he doing out there?
- Let's see then.
He doesn't look happy.
- He always looks angry.
- Oi, you fucking rat!
- See?
He wants me to go outside
so he can kill me.
- Don't worry about it.
May I help you?
- Yeah, hello.
Yeah, can you get Earl for me, please?
- Sorry, bro, it's late.
Everyone's asleep.
- He's asleep.
Look, I don't believe ya.
He don't like the dark, remember,
so I don't think he's asleep.
Look, do me a favor,
tell him it's Frank
and get Kevin to send me out a cup of tea,
will ya?
It's freezing out here.
- Just get lost.
Like you can't stand there all night
in front of the house, seriously.
- Really, why is that then?
There's no law against it.
- No but I'm still gonna
call the cops on you.
- Look, mate, I'm not gonna hurt him.
He's a good friend of mine, yeah?
He's a very good friend of mine.
Just send him out here now, please?
I'm still going
to call the police on you.
- Just call them then
you fucking French prick!
Fuck's sake.
- We got three girls working tonight.
We got Sonya, 22.
Blonde, very beautiful.
A girl from Italy, yes.
And then we got Amber, 21.
34 C, darling.
A very beautiful, very lovely.
She's from Portugal.
Portugal, darling, yes.
Yes, yes.
Very lovely girl, darling.
Yes, yes.
And then we got Angelica.
Angelica's 26, 34 DD.
Very voluptuous.
From Romania, darling, yes, uh huh.
We are open until six.
Six!
Okay.
Darling it's like this.
80 for half and hour.
150 for the full hour, okay?
Okay, I'll see you soon, my darling.
Okay, bye bye.
Well hello, Earl.
Where have you been?
- I've been around.
- Why you have safe?
Long story.
- You didn't steal, did you?
- Yeah, I stole it from the home.
They don't give me enough money.
- Earl, you need to return it right away.
That home is all you have.
- Well, they don't satisfy my needs.
- Listen, we need Earl here.
It's busy soon and
yesterday we have trouble.
There is vodka and beer
for you in the fridge.
- Well, maybe I want to
be a customer tonight.
- You can't afford it.
- That's what this is for.
- Earl, that money in safe,
it's not yours to spend.
- She's right, Earl.
You need to take it back
before you get in trouble.
They throw you in jail.
That's all there is
their money inside there.
I work once in those home.
- Me, too.
The money was shit.
That money in safe, it's
not yours to spend, Earl.
Just come right in
there, upstairs darling.
The girls will go in to see you in minute.
- It's him.
- Who?
- The strange man.
We need Earl tonight.
- Earl, please.
There's never any
trouble when you're here.
- It's gonna cost you.
- There is plenty of
cigarettes and alcohol.
- Well, I've got cigarettes
and I'm not thirsty anymore.
I've come here for
completely different reasons.
- What reason?
- I don't want money.
I want one of you for an hour tonight.
- It's 150.
No way, Earl.
- He won't last one hour anyway.
- Well, it not fair if he chose me.
I do not get paid.
- It is the same for everybody, you know?
- Well, if you chose me
then you two should pay,
that is fair.
- Is okay for me.
- For me, too.
- Earl, you need to wait
till the end of night.
Okay, you cannot be bouncer and customer.
- And you need to make promise.
What?
- You need to bring
safe to home in morning.
- Listen, we need to see
who he chose upstairs.
Okay, I go first.
- Okay.
♪ Wake up for me ♪
♪ Wake up for me ♪
- He said that you
touched his bike yesterday
and because of that he's
been in a nasty accident.
Spent the whole night in the hospital.
He's lucky to be alive.
- I didn't touch his bike.
I don't know about this.
I know who did it, though.
- So who was it?
- It was Alina.
I see her messing around with the bike
behind the yards yesterday.
She hates Luke Jones.
They used to go out together
but they broke up 'cause Luke Jones
cheated on her with Rebecca,
who used to work here.
- Kevin, I don't know about this story
and I don't care.
What I do know is Luke
Jones is badly injured
and really pissed off at you.
- Forget about Frank.
You owe him nothing.
Stay away from him.
Gotta find new friends.
Friends that will appreciate your.
Like, like Amber.
She's the most beautiful
girl in the world.
Why does she have to do that job?
At least she's got a job, not like me.
I got a job as an unpaid pimp.
A pimp and a thief, like my father.
Oh Earl, you gotta repent.
Oh you gotta repent.
What am I doing with this thing, anyway?
They'll kick me out of 17 Albion street,
if they catch me.
I've got to,
I've got to return it
before Alina wakes up.
Sylvio.
Sylvio won't say anything.
- I don't know how to tell you this.
I'll give you a cigarette
in exchange of the truth.
- Okay, give us the cigarette first.
- No, you have to earn this one.
So, tell me.
Did you touch Luke Jones' bike?
- Okay, I did.
It was broken, I was
only trying to fix it.
- Thank you, Kevin but you
need to say that to him.
As I said, Luke was
really hurt last night.
Everyone will feel good about this
if you say that to him.
- Sorry.
Poor Luke Jones.
- Don't say sorry to me.
You gotta go tell that to him.
- I'm gonna save my allowance,
I'm not gonna buy any beer.
I'm gonna,
I'm want take my medication.
I want to go to sleep.
I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna change.
Yeah.
I'm gonna make those business cards,
I'm gonna hand them out to people.
There's always somebody who wants
to hire a smart guy
who's good with numbers
and I'm good with numbers.
I was the best accountant at the firm
and they knew it.
Oh.
- Do you know what time it is?
- You need your car washed again.
It rained last night.
- You washed my car yesterday, Kevin.
- But it rained last night.
- It doesn't need washing every day,
even if it rains.
- How 'bout your husband?
Doesn't Charlie want his car
looking nice and sparkly?
- Kevin, I need to go back to bed.
- Have you been down to the pub again?
- Listen, you can't come
knocking at the door
at all hours, okay?
Do you understand me?
Because I don't want to have
to call the home, again.
- You got any cigarettes?
They didn't give me me allowance
so I can't buy anymore.
- I don't care.
If I give you a cigarette,
then you're gonna come knocking
at the door at all hours
asking for another cigarette.
- You can pay me advance for
washing the car like you want,
Charlie said so.
I spoke to him yesterday
and he said come early and you'd pay me.
- No, Kevin.
Now you need to go home.
- You tell Charlie that
Chelsea are rubbish.
- I'll tell him when he wakes up.
- You're looking lovely this morning.
Charlie's a lucky man.
If you ever get tired of
that grumpy old bugger.
- Yeah, yeah.
I know that guy.
He lives in that home on Albion street.
I haven't seen him in ages, though.
That guys creepy.
- How 'bout you?
- That guy is crazy.
He stole sweets from a sweet shop
and he scratches people a lot.
- Well, you can keep the paper.
If you see anything,
just call that number.
- You aint no gangster, Frank.
You think you're from the East End?
You're not from the East End.
You aint no gangster.
Right, I'm a chameleon.
Yeah.
I'm a chameleon.
I'm camouflaged.
Oh yeah, camouflaged.
Earl camouflaged, like the sound of that.
Oh yeah.
Gotta get me a gun or a knife.
I aint afraid of you, Frank.
I owe you nothing.
You offered it to me, I didn't ask for it
and now it's all gone.
You want it back.
Nah.
You been watching too many movies, Frank.
You're not a gangster.
You aint no gangster.
- Should we play these guys?
- Kevin, they're a bit young.
- Guys, do you want a game?
- I'm not playing football.
- Come on, Joe.
Luke Jones always plays.
- Well we both know why he's not here.
I'll watch, you play.
Behave yourself, Kevin.
Okay?
- You think you're from the East End?
I hope you're okay, friend.
I hope you're okay.
He tried to help me but I,
I wasn't one to listen.
I hope you're okay.
I mean, I hope you're okay.
You better be okay.
Yeah.
- Hey, Earl.
Remember me?
- Obi-wan.
- Oberon.
- That's a funny name.
- So is Earl.
One would think you're
royalty or something
but you're certainly not that.
- Maybe I am.
- Yeah, right.
The Earl of Isleworth.
Nice.
- I like that.
The Earl of Isleworth.
- You guys having a match?
Guy, come on.
- Do you want a game?
I'm really good.
I'm a striker for West Ham united.
Kevin Dean, you heard of me?
- No.
- Come on man, West Ham is shit.
- What you say?
- Behave yourself, Kevin.
- Come on, big guy.
It's only a joke.
- Not funny.
West Ham won the world cup.
- Oh come on, man.
No they didn't.
- How can West Ham win the world cup?
- Easy, they're that good.
That's bollocks.
♪ You said ♪
♪ It wasn't gonna be like that ♪
♪ You said ♪
♪ So many things about ♪
♪ So many things about ♪
♪ So many things ♪
♪ That I wanted to believe in ♪
♪ And I did ♪
♪ But when it came true ♪
♪ At least some of what you said ♪
♪ Didn't mean anything ♪
♪ Anymore ♪
♪ Bird had flew ♪
♪ The ship had sailed ♪
- You're on my team.
♪ I was born years before ♪
♪ It took too long to get there ♪
♪ Took too long to get there ♪
♪ But you promised me ♪
♪ You said ♪
♪ Why did you have to string me along ♪
♪ When you knew all along ♪
♪ That's an awful thing to do to someone ♪
♪ To steal their life ♪
♪ Steal the best years of their lives ♪
♪ I'll never forgive you
for what you've done ♪
♪ And then you have to go
ahead and pull this stunt ♪
♪ You said ♪
♪ It wasn't gonna be like that ♪
♪ You said ♪
♪ So many things ♪
- Who were you talking to?
- It was a friend.
He was in an accident.
He might not come through.
- Yeah, what happened?
- A lorry hit him on his
bicycle the other night.
- Damn.
Think I heard about that actually,
I heard he died.
So where's the safe?
- There is no safe.
- Hope you didn't get into any trouble.
- Nah.
- Hi, Melissa.
That was my idea, yes.
Well, as you know, Earl talks to himself
and recently he had
been talking to himself
about stealing the house safe.
So we planted a fake safe in the office
and made him think that
was where all the money was
rather than in the actual
safe in the second office.
Not that he'd of got very far
because it's bolted to the wall
but best not to take any chances.
Anyways, apparently he did take the safe
but what was really lovely, I thought,
was that Earl returned it.
His conscience got the better of him, yes.
Okay, Melissa.
All right, I'll talk to you later.
Okay, have a good day.
Bye bye.
- That's good to know.
Did that Frank guy ever find you?
- No.
No.
- Is he still looking for you?
- Yeah.
He came to the home, wanting to kill me.
But they called the police
and now he can't come anywhere near me.
But that aint gonna work.
That's gonna make him more angry.
He think he's a gangster.
He's been watching too many movies.
- That's explain it.
That's why you're wearing
the glasses and hat, right?
- Is it too obvious?
- It's a nice disguise.
Yeah.
It's all good though, man .
Good to be hiding out,
looking after yourself.
- You keep cheating.
That goal didn't count.
- Bollocks.
- You fouled me, red card.
- I didn't touch you.
- He didn't touch you, you lost the ball.
- One oh, you cheated.
- You're shit.
- You what?
- You wanna fucking scrap?
You can have it then.
- He's cheating.
- It's over.
You're crap.
My dead nan's better than you.
- They cheated.
- Come on, let's go.
Have a cigarette.
Settle down, okay?
Who knows, we'll get some
fish and chips later on.
- I play for West Ham United!
Bollocks!
- Come on.
- Oh geeze, that guy was nuts.
- Oi, how can he think
West Ham won the world cup?
- Why does he want to kill you anyway?
- Well, you see I, I drank his alcohol.
I smoked his cigarettes and his weed,
I ate his food, and I snorted his charlie.
He was offering, so I took it, you know?
I didn't know he was running a tab.
- I don't see what you did wrong.
If he was offering in most circumstances
it would be considered rude to say no.
Right?
I'd of done it, anyone would of done it.
If you want, I can sort him out for you.
If you'd like.
- How is that?
- Probably best you don't know how.
Just give me the word
and I'll take care of it.
- Well, well, well, well.
I mean why would you do a
topper like that for me?
I mean, you hardly know.
- I can read people.
I can tell people apart.
Good ones and the bad ones
and you're one of the good guys.
Plus, I never liked woodies.
Never have.
- Yeah.
- Hi, there.
Have you seen Teddy Vitalli?
This is his picture right here.
- How am I supposed to
know what he looks like?
He's got a mask on.
- Oh, he always wears a mask.
He's autistic.
He never walks outside or
anywhere without a mask.
- Right, okay.
- Any sign of him at all?
- I can't, I can't say
I recall seeing him.
I think I'd of noticed.
- All right.
- To be honest.
But, sorry no.
No can do.
- Okay, but if you do see him.
Please just call this number right here.
- You want me to keep this then?
- Yes, keep it.
- Okay.
- Right, thank you so much.
- Right.
Hello, Earl.
You've been avoiding me.
- Hello ladies and gentlemen.
We have a new performer
with us here tonight,
go easy on him.
He's coming all the way from
Hauser to be here with us.
He's got a big heart, a
little rough around the edges.
Ladies and gentlemen,
put your hands together
for Frank Lyle.
- Anyone of you laughs, I
will fucking cut you open.
I'm a good geezer, I'm
a good geezer, yeah?
I give money to my friends.
Earl.
I gave him loads of money.
I wanted to help him get back on his feet.
Yeah, he's a bit loony.
I mean, he did turn me
over, stitched me up.
I mean literally fucking shat all over me.
What are you fucking looking at?
I tell you what, mate.
I'll fucking come down
and I'll slice you open,
is that what you want.
Eh?
I'm on pills!
I'm here to be nice, yeah?
And I think my purpose,
I think my purpose to be really pleased.
Yeah?
With how this is going.
Because I aint fucking
hit no one yet, have I?
Come on.
Here mate.
Tell us some jokes.
- Jokes, fucking jokes.
I'm not here to amuse you, mate.
What you think this is a zoo?
Is it, is it a zoo?
I don't know what animal that is.
Don't go to zoos do I, know what I mean?
You know I suppose you heard from,
my mate Earl is here tonight.
Earl, you said you'd come
and support me, mate.
Didn't ya?
Is he here?
Probably at home still in bed
because he's a schizophrenic.
Is that funny?
You laugh at the disabilities.
I'll kill you, Earl.
I won't kill you, Earl.
I won't kill you, Earl.
Earl, Earl.
I mean your sagging right now.
- Shut up.
I won the lottery.
I won the lottery.
Oh, good for you.
- Yeah, good for me.
I ripped myself up didn't I?
Take away the whole lot, why not.
What do you want, fucking Shakespeare?
How 'bout that?
Now,
I picked up a pen and I
didn't stab it someone's neck.
I'm watching dive, huh mate.
No, I've got that bit of paper, didn't I?
If I'm guilty of one thing,
it's believing in my friend Earl
that he can be better.
You know what, Earl?
I'm not sweet for that.
And that is what I call a real friend.
- Very entertaining.
Everyone give it up for Frank Lyle.
Maybe Frank was right.
He was always trying to help me out.
Maybe he is a real friend.
The only friend I've got.
Then why does he judge me?
A real friend shouldn't judge you.
A real friend accepts his friends
for who they are.
A friend shouldn't judge.
Oberon doesn't judge me.
He accepts me for who I am.
It's not my fault the home
doesn't give me enough money.
How am I supposed to
live on 10 pounds a day?
It scarcely covers the cost
of a packet of cigarettes
and a couple of beers.
The girls don't pay me.
They need me.
They let me drink, smoke.
I can't stand it when they
go with those other men.
It's not fair.
Oh, who I am to talk?
You're a phony, Earl.
Phony.
If I had the money, I could
take her out of there.
Who's gonna hire a crazy man?
That's what they call me.
A crazy man who talks to himself.
You've got to stop
talking to yourself, Earl.
You've gotta get out
there and at least try.
Try at least.
So that even if you don't
succeed, then maybe,
you can't, they can't give you the...
They can't blame you for that.
Talk is cheap.
Shut up, Earl.
Talk is cheap.
- Hello, Earl.
You've been avoiding me.
You're a dead man.
Wake up!
- Harry, you in?
Harry!
- So you've heard the news then?
You seem to be taking it well.
You okay?
I still can't believe it myself.
- What news?
- You don't know?
- What news, Harry?
- I aint sure I'm the one
that should be telling you this, Kevin.
- Go on, Harry, tell us.
- I don't know.
Maybe after you've washed the car.
- Tell me now.
Almost finished, Harry.
Then you could tell me this secret.
- I wish to God I never brought it up.
You're never gonna give
up on that now, are ya?
All finished, Harry.
Nice and sparkly.
- I'll be the judge of that.
Personal space, Kevin.
- So what's this thing
you were gonna tell me?
- Nevermind about that.
How much do I owe ya?
- 10 quid.
- 10 quid?
You're having a laugh, aint ya?
- Your car was filthy, Harry.
You need to get it cleaned more often.
Look at it now, nice and sparkly.
- You're a hell of a salesman, Kevin.
Nice and sparkly.
That's a great catchphrase.
Yeah, I like that.
- Luke Jones told me to say it.
He said I'll get more customers.
- Oh did he?
- Yeah, he did.
- Did it work?
- I'm the best car
washer on Albion street.
- Well, you're bloody persistent
and you're a hard worker.
- Cheers, Harry.
Now, what's this secret?
You promised.
- Look.
I'll give you the tenner and
we'll forget about the secret
or I'll tell you and we call it a fiver.
- Come on, Harry.
Just tell us.
- Yeah, I found Teddy Vitalli.
Teddy is autistic and
he doesn't really speak.
But he wears a mask everywhere
and I've got his mask here.
I found it on the side of a fence.
Is there anything you can do?
Should I come in?
Should I put it forward for investigation?
I don't really know what to do with it.
- Yes?
- I've come to give these to Luke's mum.
It's because he's dead.
- She's not here.
She left and Luke is not dead.
- He's alive?
- Who told you he was dead?
- Harry, the barman.
- Well, he's not dead.
He's lucky to be alive.
Some asshole fucked with his bicycle
and he had a bad accident.
- Could I come in then?
I'm his best friend.
- Really?
You must be Kevin.
- How'd you know that then?
I put two and two together.
- Could I come in then?
- Listen, Kevin.
He doesn't want to see you.
He's still a bit angry at you.
- I'm sorry.
I was only trying to fix the bike.
I thought it was broken.
- Well, that's good you're sorry
but he still doesn't want to see you.
He told me to tell you when you came.
- Could you give him them then?
- I'll give them to him.
- And tell Luke Jones I miss him.
- Okay.
Come back in a month.
Give it some time for him to calm down.
I told him you didn't want to see him.
He brought this.
- Throw them in the bin.
- He seemed pretty upset.
He thought you were dead.
It cheered him up to
hear that you are not.
- Why did he think I was dead?
- He said Harry the barman told him that.
- Fucking rumors.
You should of told him I was dead.
He's gonna be around here now everyday.
He'll be the one that's
dead if I get ahold of him.
- He said you are his best friend.
- I just don't know why he'd
go messing around with my bike.
- You used to be so fond of him.
Kevin this, Kevin that.
You went to Portugal with him and Greece.
You got to West Ham games with him.
You guys play football...
- Well, that's it.
I'm not doing it anymore.
I quit that stupid job.
I'm done with it.
Tell him I am dead.
- Luke, Luke.
I've said I'm sorry.
Here, I brought you some beers this time.
- I told you you should
of said that I was dead.
Come on, answer the door.
- Beer, not bad.
Luke.
I was well pleased to
find out you weren't dead.
How's your head?
♪ Stand in cars ♪
♪ And people they wave ♪
♪ The bowls still fizzing ♪
♪ And we're the match ♪
♪ Drink up my darling ♪
♪ There specially dauntless tonight ♪
♪ The waiter was clumsy ♪
♪ The food was lousy ♪
- Oh, he has a new friend.
♪ The whole thing was a mess ♪
♪ Wasn't for you ♪
♪ Would of been a disaster ♪
♪ If you weren't holding my hand ♪
♪ Sleeping on my shoulder ♪
- Luke Jones.
Luke Jones, is that you?
I'm sorry, all right?
I'm sorry.
I won't touch your bike again.
I promise.
I'm sorry.
Oh come on.
Answer the door.
Oh.
Luke!
Come on.
Oh.
Luke Jones.
Are you all right?
- I've been better, mate.
- You want to play football?
- With this?
It's probably best not.
Come on in.
♪ Lucky in love ♪
♪ Lucky in life ♪
♪ Catch the rhythm on a motorbike ♪
♪ How he keeps his balance ♪
♪ The ways he can sit ♪