A Report on the Party and Guests (1966) - full transcript

THE PARTY AND THE GUESTS

STORY - ESTER KRUMBACHOV?
SCREENPLAY -
ESTER KRUMBACHOV? and JAN NEMEC

STARRING

ASSISTANT DIRECTOR - PAVEL HOR?K
ARTISTIC DIRECTOR - VLADIM?R M?CHA

PRODUCTION ASSISTANTS -
JOSEF MATHAUSER and ADOLF ?IROK?

EDITOR - MILOSLAV H?JEK
SOUND - Jl?? PAVL?K

PRODUCTION MANAGER
LADISLAV KALA?

DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY
JAROM?R ?OFR

DIRECTED B Y
JAN NEMEC

We were lucky with the weather.

A beautiful day.
The banquet was ?ust as it should be.



You'd make a great defence counsel.
You stand up for your views.

I like good company, good fun,
and good food.

Don't worry, you won't get fat.

It's quite nice to celebrate
and to indulge yourself.

Don't you think?

You don't feel like eating, you're not hungry,
but you fancy something.

So I don't have to tell everyone.
Help yourself. We have to finish it.

It's nice and fresh.

Remember how they brought in the wine?

I know. Shame we didn't have
our swimming costumes.

The water's warm.

Agreed, we all see things differently.

We can't rely on only one opinion.

I'm telling you.
You should have done law.



But it turned out well then, remember?
Us dancing on the boat.

All that sand. Remember?

I thought about it many times.

Or that lamp, remember?

Boy, when I think about it...

When he came to give us a piece of his mind...

Well, you never know!

It's the best thing I've ever eaten.

I'm glad you like it.

No more drinking!

All this makes me terribly drowsy.

Improvisation is the best thing.

I'm also a bit tired.

Really? You can't be!

I couldn't live on my own.

Some people do, but I really couldn't.

I could, I would drink lots.

I like being on my own.

I always do the washing.

I like nice, well-Iooked-after things.

So do I.

It's really lovely here, isn't it?

Yes, very.

If I had a big house...
I mean, if I finally got myself a big house,

I'd invite you all over and I'd...

What are they doing over there?

What's the big idea?

Who's that?

I'll go and ask if you want.

That'll be the beginning of the banquet.

Is that the bride?

Don't be silly. Bride?!

Perhaps they're coming to welcome us.

I'd expect anything of him.
Anything is possible with him.

He always thinks of something really special.

Let's go, hurry up.
Let's not waste time.

That water has to be lukewarm.
Otherwise, as I say...

Then you take it straight out or it'll shrink.

Aren't you worried about your heels?

I'll go barefoot.

- What have you got there?
- Here.

Try it the other way.

My husband gave it to me.

Lovely fragrance.

Don't splash on me!

Sorry.

What would you do?

I'd go. It's an opportunity you don't often get.

I ?ust don't know.

The whole thing seems a bit strange to me.

I agree, but an opportunity like this...

A difficult decision.

I wonder what you'll say when you've read it.

I've already read it.

What do you think, then?

I think I'll go there.

Really? That'd be great.

We'd be there together.

It's lovely here - peace and quiet.

The air must be really healthy.

Those pines, that fragrance, this wood...

Great, isn't it?

Yes, indeed.

- You're not cold, I hope?
- Not at all.

It's pretty dark...

I'd like to buy it.

It's necessary for a good rest.

Sure. At least for a day or two.

I agree.
If we didn't have ours... right?

I think so, too.

Aren't your feet hurting?

Don't you want to change
into your sandals?

I really love you.

Has someone got a knife?

Why do you want a knife?

Can't tell you.

- Aren't you tired?
- No.

Looking forward to it?

- Come on!
- Why?

Has someone got a knife?

On a trip, eh?

Mind your own business.

I said, are you on a trip?

A very good afternoon to you...

Will you let go of me?

So many guests.
Who are they?

I think that was sensible.

I thought they were the guests.

So did I.

So did I.

So did I.

Exactly.

Come on.
This is...

Well, I wonder.
But I'm going to do it.

Don't say anything now.

We can all complain later.

I agree. I think that, really...

How can you?

Be quiet and let me do the talking.

I know.
You're afraid I'll say something.

You don't know who they are.

- They're coming!
- Christ, they're two of a kind!

Be quiet, they can hear you!

Don't laugh, you fool!

I hope you're in a better mood now!

So? Do you like it here?

Nice countryside, eh?

Look, first explain to us
why you brought us here.

What do you want?

And who are you?

But I never spoke to him.

What are we to think of you,

standing there as if you were scared of us?

Stand apart from each other.
Spread a little.

It's for your own good.

You go a bit further.

Try to line up, please.

I don't know. Maybe in alphabetical order.
Perhaps to show your papers.

And we'll line up here.

If they want a roll call...

That's right!

Men here, women there.

Much better.

Here's the door.

You can't go in any more.

You can't climb over the wall
and we lost the key.

Or maybe you've got the key?

They'll have to stay there till the morning.

What a beautiful day. The wood.
The lovely fragrance...

It'll be a lovely night.

It's really lovely here.

A person sometimes needs fresh air.

Yeah, the air's healthy here.

Green grass, birds.

- What a change from the city.
- A bit hot, though.

Soon it'll be evening.

Then you'll appreciate
the warm evening, the balmy night.

Just don't be afraid of the dark.

What should I be afraid of?

A pretty lady, for example.

I agree. I am afraid of women.

Some say, "Have a whip ready
when you're meeting a woman."

I'm not courageous enough.

I prefer gentler ways.

What if your wife found out?

I don't have a wife. I'm single.

It's lovely here
and it's been nice chatting with you.

But we'd rather get on with the trip.

You're a right one!

He knows how to sweet-talk everyone.

I'm surprised at you.

Your friend doesn't like me, does he?

No, he's ?ust a serious person.

You see, he's...

I've never seen the like,

especially on a man.

Leave me alone.

- Karel.
- Come on...

Don't be silly. You're not alone here.

Nobody's doing anything to you.

A man's expected to have self-control.

Before I forget, like you said,

it'll be a nice, warm evening.

It is true.
After a hot day, a pleasant evening...

You ?ust stay out of it!

With respect, I'd like to remind you
that I've done nothing against you.

Nor have I.

Nor have I.

Nor have I.

May I venture to ask
what we've got ourselves into?

You don't know?

He doesn't know!

Did you hear that?

I don't know, either. It was all a ?oke.

- A ?oke, then?
- All a ?oke, from the start.

You see, I love the theatre.

How I love the theatre!

I wanted to be an actor.

I like reading, singing, outdoor life.
And I'm a good dancer.

I like anything pretty and ?olly.

I don't know why am I telling you all this,
why I'm confiding in you.

I somehow feel close to you.

What's the point of it all
if it's not a laugh?

I can tell you, an educated man of the world.

How do you know?

We know everything.

Tonight, I'll be singing at the campfire
and play the guitar.

Let's put an end to all this.

Thank you, my dear friend.

It was like being on the stage.

Thank you.

It was a wonderful and memorable experience.

I'll be always grateful to you.

I need the loo!

Someone take her.

Time for me to go.

Goodbye.

He crossed the line!

Excuse me.

Where are you going?

The banquet's about to start,
why would you go?

Can't you take a ?oke?

Didn't you hear me say it was a ?oke?

A ?oke!

You all go after him!

And he won't leave me be!

I don't want to hear any more.
The young lady told me everything.

I told you to bring them the shortest way
but I never allowed you your silly games.

They're distinguished guests.
What must they think of me?

Horsing around on my birthday!

I won't stand for it on my birthday!

I'm telling you...

Hello. How are you?

No, no, no...

We've been waiting ?ust for you.

What took you so long?
And what are you doing?

This is not possible.

Rudolf...

You'll apologise this minute!

- Hello.
- Boy, oh, boy...

My apologies. Will you forgive me?

Brush, towel.

Tidy him up.

Excuse me.

That gentleman was very unpleasant.

I don't know what to say. It all happened
practically in my own house.

Actually, this will be a playing field.

Yes, a playing field.

An excellent idea.

Maybe it is,

but please, don't spare me.

Tell me straight,

how could this have happened?

Sorry.

I know it wasn't a nice welcome.

Nothing like that has ever happened to me.
It's completely thrown me.

We'll have to talk together later.

It really wasn't nice.

I like ?okes, but that was too much.
Beating up a man...

No-one beat me up.

But they harassed you.

What about human rights?

Come off it, will you? Shut up.

So they harassed you.

Not the way you think.
They kept pushing us about and laughing.

I was scared.

How could we know?
They took us away and kept laughing.

I don't know. It wasn't pleasant.

But it's true...

I don't know.

So they harassed the guests.

I don't know either.
Maybe I'm wrong.

I'm still not myself.

You and your hanky!

I'm sorry.

So will someone tell me what happened or not?

A brother shouldn't turn against his brother.

And a guest shouldn't turn against a guest.

So those are all guests?

Yes. You're all my guests.

Rudolf, whom I adopted yesterday,
is my adopted son.

He's a gifted actor.

I think so, too.

You're a natural actor.

Isn't he?

A play is a play, friends, nothing more.

We ?ust played out a little ?oke.

Karel will admit
he should have observed the rules.

The rules set by these gentlemen.

Why bother arguing about it?

I told you it was a ?oke.

But you tripped me up.

Because you threw things at me
and pushed me about.

You don't like me.

I wonder what I'll learn next.

Boys, boys!

Now, now, now...

We know Rudolf's a naughty boy, but Karel?

You should have seen him sulking,
being naughty!

Because he's an old rebel.

No, I'm a democrat.

So am I.

So am I.

So am I.

With your permission, so am I.

Having your little ?oke at my expense.

You'll get on well together.

I wondered who they could be.

We were ?ust standing there.
But I thought it might be a ?oke!

What's the guest list doing here?
Who's put it here?

So, boys, the table, the chairs.
Put all this back where you found it!

Don't scratch it!

I'll have to change out of my shoes to get down.

But still, it's a good short cut!

A pity you're all wearing nice shoes.

But we'll see about that.

It's a good short cut.

You'd better change
into more comfortable shoes.

Otherwise my boys will have to carry you.

- Your slippers!
- My husband's old pair.

I took them ?ust in case.

Come on, we'll be there in a minute.

Know what I'm looking forward to most?

When we all sit round the table together!

We'll be there in no time.
But please go carefully!

We don't want you to fall down!

Every morning, we had to pull the curtains
so the sun didn't shine onto our bed.

The morning sun gives my wife a headache.

Eastern wind brings here the smell of the pines.

There's a pine wood with lots of mushrooms.
The smell reaches all the way down to the lake.

Look for the lake's surface between the trees!
Here we are!

- Is there anything more beautiful?
- No.

I want this rock for my garden,

for when we build the path.

All this path will be made into steps.

They'll connect the playing field with the lake.
And now walk carefully.

And look out, we'll see the lake now.
Here it is.

What a wonderful sight!

Did you hear about the steps?

I'm dying for a drink.

You'll soon have everything.
We'll have dinner by the lake.

You'll see the candelabras I told you about.

They saw you this afternoon.
Did you see her too?

We were up there.
We came from the village.

So it was you?
We thought it was a procession for the birthday.

Olinka got married
and they'll have dinner with us.

So there'll be two dinners -
wedding and birthday.

I'm really glad you've all seen each other.

People belong to people.

We were surprised your veil was blowing about.

It's windy up there.

It's usually windy at the top.

Please accept our congratulations.

All the best.
I mean it very sincerely.

So you saw each other.

They at the top and you at the bottom!

That's ?ust as it should be!

Stop it!

Leave him, you only get married once.

He's a nice lad and life's meant to be lovely.

It's starting now, no more talking.

We'll talk after dinner.

If it suits you, I'd be most glad.

Not to keep you in suspense, it turned out OK.
We'll be phoning them.

Really?

How can I express...

Come off it.

At least think of me!

You can't do this, you'll never get anywhere.
And what about me?

Such an opportunity like this one...

Let's go!

It's starting!

All protagonists get into the limelight!

We'll be sitting at the head of the table!

You on the right, me on the left.

I immediately took a liking to you.

You'll sit with Rudolf and me here.

The bride and groom will sit opposite us.

And what about you?
You're not angry at me any more, are you?

Why should I be?
I was never angry at you.

Come, come.
Let's have a drink together.

What's the matter?

For Christ's sake, what's happened?

My husband...

What? What are you saying?

Come on. What's the matter?

Come on...

Will someone tell me or not?

Wipe your eyes and tell us what happened,

what the matter is.

Her husband's run off.

He doesn't want to be here.
He doesn't want to be at the banquet.

We can begin.

Dear guests, ladies and gentlemen!

Let's raise our glasses
to commence our banquet.

And hear a few words from our dear friend...

No speeches, if you please.

...dear friend...

...to whom we'll drink
a toast from the heart.

Why no speeches?

You're a wonderful speaker!

Shut up and eat!

But this isn't my place!

This isn't my name!

Who's sitting in my place?

I want to sit in my place or my husband's!

I'm in your place
because you sat in the wrong place.

Oh, I see. Sorry.

This isn't my place, either.

I couldn't find my name.
Perhaps they forgot about me.

This is the last straw!

I never expected this.
This has never happened to me before!

You keep changing places,
making fun of everything!

And one of my guests has run off!

I'm not having any dinner!

I didn't expect

my banquet to turn out like this!

The seating order was fine.

What do you mean?

Why isn't there a spare seat
if one guest is missing?

What?

One, two, three...

Everything was clearly all right.
It's because the lady sat in the wrong place.

We didn't want to insult a lady.

I'm sorry, I was really so upset...

Don't cry.
It's not your fault, you're a woman.

We have to treat women well.

Why did he leave?

Where did he go?

To the station, I think.

Do you get it?

A guest comes to a banquet.

Suddenly he decides to run off.

I understand a lot of things

but that's the limit!

A guest running off,
no-one knows where or why.

Does anyone understand it?

...13, 14...

I don't know.

One simply doesn't know what to think.

He was sitting there, reading, eating,

and drinking coffee, ?ust like us.

Perhaps he's a Ioner.
Such people...

Oh, no.

He got up in the morning and said,
"It's going to be a lovely day."

We were getting ready for the trip.
I baked the cake which you so en?oyed.

We parked up there, as you told us to,

next to the petrol station.
Then we came down that nice winding road.

A beautiful ?ourney.
We sat down in the valley, had a picnic.

We looked forward to meeting you.

We talked about you...

We saw you!

And we saw you, too!

I don't agree at all.

He didn't like this gentleman's ?oke.

Hear that?

Just a moment.

God, this is annoying.

I'd like to ask you something.

Don't start again!

I'll tell you something.

I'll explain why that lady
is sitting on her own.

Want to know?

Do you want to know why her husband
chose to leave? Do you?

Oh, my God!

You're angry with him because of that bag!
That's all.

Stuff the bag!

I don't give a damn about it.
But what about my knife and lighter?

They were in my pocket and I've lost them both.

A bag!
My knife and lighter are gone!

I'm not bothered about those either.
It's the principle I'm bothered about.

No wonder he ran off!

Enough. Let's leave it.

Sorry.

No, no, no.
Don't apologise, I must admit you're right.

A pity you didn't say it on the playing field.

It's not a ?oke any more.

It's... I'll be blunt about it,
it's barbarity.

You'll get a new knife and lighter from me!

Now stop being a spoilsport.
You can forget about it now.

Ah! Women, women...

See, they are wise...

A woman knows that you have to forget.
It is a necessity.

I also forgot.

I had to forget many things in my life.

So cheer up!

He ran off, so be it.
If that's what he wanted, so what?

To the bride and groom,

lots of luck!

To your health!

Lots of luck!

The chair's here, as you can see. It was OK.

It was there when I first came here.
It was under the table.

I banged my leg when I wanted to sit down.

Come and sit down!

Let's begin!

Get stuck in there!
Chop, chop!

It's cooked right to the bone.

What's so funny?

I found a bit of pine bark.

So big and still playing about.

Was he really a pilot?

Yeah, he was.

Look...

Why are you looking at me like that?
That wouldn't be fair of you.

I'm serious, I'm not flattering you.

I wouldn't know how to.

We transported it at night.
It weighed almost 100 kilos.

That was a lot.

I'll have to tell you in detail.
It's a story you'll en?oy.

It's spoilt my appetite.

I feel like shooting myself.

I've got a gun and bullets.

A shot would ring out. I'd be lying there,
blood spurting from my forehead.

You've prepared everything.
You've taken such pains over it.

All I thought about was your birthday.

I dreamed about you.

You were wearing a golden peaked cap.

And now there's an empty chair.

And that wretched man isn't here.

You know who's to blame?

You and your talent.

You were so convincing
that we all almost ran away.

You should have gone after him,
told him a few words. He'd have come back.

Shall I go and bring him back?

Yeah, why not?

That would really cheer me up!

So I'll fetch him, OK?

May I? Will you let me?

Go on, then, but no more ?okes!

I want the boys to go with me.

Would you tell them to?

Order the guests about?
Tell the guests to leave their dinner?

You tell them.

You're so polite and you're an intellectual.
Tell them.

Tell them a few words.

Thanks for the compliment.

But I was not authorised to make speeches.

Feel free to tell them.

By all means, if you feel like it,
why don't you?

Today, anything's allowed!

It's my birthday. Why not?

If anything is allowed, fine.

That's different.
I'll be pleased to make you happy.

Why don't you want to go, or with a friend?

Because it would sadden him.

He's a good chap, but he can't take criticism.

Sure. But I'm not really a speaker.

The guests mostly know your name.

Your words carry weight.

And Rudolf deserves it.

It was ?ust a question.
I'd be glad to.

Attention! Quiet please!

Go ahead.

Dear guests!

Wedding guests, friends.
My duty makes me appeal to your emotions.

We're all sitting here en?oying ourselves.

But one of us isn't happy.
On the contrary.

He's depressed and in a bad mood.

There's an empty chair in our midst.

It is hankering for the body
which is meant for it,

not the mere spirit of he who left

and thus saddened and, dare I say this,
crushed the chief organiser of our banquet.

Let's go!

One for all and all for one!

Let's all go after him and bring him back!

So at last order can be reinstated!

Why not?

Yeah, good idea.

But why all of us?

Because he left us all!

Let's go. Let's go and get him!

How does it feel to be at the helm?

It's nice here, isn't it?

I like surprises.

A surprise, that's really something!

Surprises, yes, great.

But you've got great wine here.

Did you notice the chairs?
They are all different.

Did you notice? Yet they all match.

That was done on purpose.

I'll have to have a good look.

Pepa.

When are you going to line us up?

Why aren't you getting the provisions ready?

We're staying here.
We're not going anywhere.

Are you serious?
A sweater in this heat?

You'll remember this,
when I have to tend to you.

Listen, we should stay here
in case he comes back.

He's a stranger here, it'd be embarrassing.

Why not? Stay here if you want,

in case he comes back.
You're right.

I wanted to fire a shot when we found him.

To let everybody know we've got him.
That the search is over.

We've still got the raffle to go.
If he came back and we didn't know about it...

Why would he run away
if he wanted to come back?

Everything's possible.

But we'd better stay here.

You must fire a shot if he comes.

And we'll take the dog!

I forgot all about it!
Why didn't I think of it before?

We'll soon find him.

What do you know?
First I'm a guard. I'll end up a rifleman.

Today's been nothing but surprises.
A day full of surprises.

I like that. What a success!

I should change my shoes for the ?ourney,
don't you think?

You're all ready.

You stay here
in case your husband comes back.

- But I...
- You stay here.

But it's not my fault. I know what you mean,
but it's not my fault at all.

Don't take him from me!

I won't let you!

He's not going anywhere!

They are taking me with them,
I have to go.

Don't worry, nothing will happen to me.

I'll come back.

If I don't, plant a rose for me
and water it with tears.

- Is that your husband's slipper?
- It's so tatty...

We need it for the dog.

What a wonderful animal. Look!

An amazing animal. Well-trained.

Often better than any man.
He'll do what you tell him to.

I'll throw a stone for him.

Be careful. He's dangerous. He bites.

Right you are.
He must have terrible teeth.

And what about the claws?
Those are real talons.

But especially those teeth.

Never mind the teeth. The best thing about him
is his speed. He flies like the wind.

He got two medals. He's a pedigree.

You know what?

It must be interesting on a hunt.

I've never seen it.
I've never been on a hunt.

Such a hunt...

Show me. Let him go.

I've never seen this.

Go and get him.

Look at him go!

He can't catch the scent.

He can't. See? He's coming back.

Leave him. Wait.

Look at that great body!

Don't let him hurt my husband.
He could tear his new suit.

Don't worry.
He's an intelligent animal. Look.

He's actually got his own method,
a completely individual method.

A good nose, as they say.
See?

Just look.

What did I say? He's on the scent!
He's got it.

He's a lovely animal, but I'm scared.

I'm scared, because still...

Blow out the candles,
we'll keep them for later.

Come on, quick. Let's go!

- We don't have to go anywhere.
- That's great.

Wait... Where's my glass?

If you'll excuse me for asking,

now we're alone...

What actually happened?
Why is your husband angry?

He said he didn't want to be here,
that people don't love each other here.

What happened next?

Tell us,

if it doesn't upset you too much.

There's no hurry.

Can't you see it's my ?acket?

Look how they've crumpled it all up!

I keep thinking he left because of me,
because they crumpled me up like that.

No, you're wrong.
He never mentioned you.

Forgive me, but he is your husband.

Why did he leave alone?
Why didn't he take you with him?

He wanted me to go. I said I wasn't going.

I say, "There's a banquet here,
I'm not going anywhere!"

How interesting.

How strange.

Come on, let's blow out those candles.

Look, I've made a little candle-snuffer.

THE END