A Remarkable Life (2016) - full transcript
There are many things in life that could do a number on a man's masculinity. Lenny Babbitt has his identity and manhood challenged when his wife Tracy leaves him for a female doctor named Iris who has been treating their autistic son Isaac. After losing his job, and wife to a woman no less -- Lenny's dad Jack offers him a job at his pawn shop where he must re-examine his identity, manhood and sense of self after meeting Chelsea, a young, free-spirited pistol that lives life on two wheels. In the end, Lenny realizes that there are no absolutes... only one's faith, sense of self and family -- no matter how it's constituted or defined by society.
(melancholic music)
- Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.
It's been a while since I've
done a confession but...
I must need it because...
I don't know what I did to
deserve the circumstances
of my life right now.
It just seems that
everything's...
everything I ever cared
about has disappeared
before my eyes.
This whole thing with Tracy.
I mean, I just
don't understand it.
So what am I supposed to do?
Just sit back and
accept all this?
I need your strength and
your guidance right now.
Right now.
To help me get my family back.
In the name of the
Father, Son, Holy Spirit.
Amen.
(melancholic music)
(organ music)
- Family.
What is family?
Today, families seem to
come in all different
shapes, styles,
sizes, and colors.
Veritable kaleidoscope.
And yet, it is the
very notion of family
that unites us.
And it binds us.
It is the very glue, if
you will, of our society.
It's the foundation
of our future--
- Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ahhh!
(congregation murmuring)
- My critics rave.
But embracing one
another for who we are.
Despite our differences.
And unite us in ways that we
can never even come to expect.
You were pretty as a
princess today, my darlin'.
(chuckles) How are ya?
- A great sermon, as usual.
- Thank you.
All families like yours
are my inspiration.
- I'm sorry about
the interruption.
- No, nonsense.
Isaac was just exalting
the praises of the Lord,
weren't you, Isaac?
- The Rockies are gonna
win the World Series.
- (chuckles) Well, that would
be an act of God, wouldn't it?
(laughing) Amen to
that, Isaac. Amen.
- Come on, honey.
- All right. Well, we'll
see you next Sunday.
- You bet. Thanks for coming by.
Have a great Sunday.
- [Isaac] Lenny,
why did the dinosaurs
become extinct?
- [Lenny] Uh, well, nobody
really knows for sure,
but scientists believe that a
giant asteroid hit the earth
and sent it into an Ice Age,
causing the dinosaurs to perish.
- [Isaac] Why didn't
people die off too?
- [Lenny] Hm.
Excellent question.
People weren't really
in existence then.
Didn't come around until
millions of years later.
- Doesn't the Bible say that
Earth is like 4,000 years old?
- Uh, that's one train
of thought, but...
it's good to keep an open mind.
- Why doesn't the Bible
talk about dinosaurs?
Didn't God create
them too, Lenny?
- God created all life, son.
Can people be able to adapt
if another asteroid
hits the earth?
- Yeah.
Mankind always finds
a way to survive.
And it's Dad, not Lenny, okay?
(jazzy music)
- [Lenny] Is this it?
Tell me this is it.
- Take a look.
- Yes! Yes!
The Scott Webber
Jones exclusive!
- Nice goin', Ace.
- Yeah, way to go!
Rockies' 2007 run
of the World Series.
What book critic gets that, huh?
- [Coworker] Nice job, Lenny.
- Thanks a lot.
Thanks a lot. Yeah!
Hey, Henks.
I'll be back.
- Congratulations, Lenny,
on that Scott Webber
Jones exclusive.
- Thanks.
- I'm proud of you. Good work.
- Thanks. Thanks.
It was a long time comin'.
- Yeah.
The newspaper
business is changing.
People don't want to hold a
newspaper in their
hands anymore.
Young kids they...
they go online.
They have their
iPads, their iPhones,
and they get it for free.
Lenny...
they're shutting
down the newspaper.
We're all out of a job.
It's time for all
of us to move on.
Gonna have a lot of
free time on your hands.
Maybe it's time for you to write
that great American novel.
I'm sorry, kid.
(slow saxophone music)
(humming tunelessly)
- Ooh, little Iccy,
let's play with his iPad.
(boys laughing)
Ah! Ow!
- [Man] Hey! Leave him alone!
(Isaac humming tunelessly)
- It's really
getting out of hand.
You really need to help us.
He bit another kid in
the cafeteria last week.
And now he's biting me.
I mean, I know...
a child with Asperger's,
you don't get in
his personal space.
I mean, trust me,
for nine years,
I haven't hugged him since
he was a baby. (crying)
And I'm (choking back tears)...
I'm doing everything
right, but I just,
I can't, I feel like I'm
emotionally going crazy.
I'm up, I'm down--
- It sounds like it's...
perimenopause.
I have hot flashes at night.
- [Tracy] Yes.
- And I'm sweating...
- [Tracy] Yeah.
- And there's rage that starts
in the bottom of my feet.
It crawls up through my
shins, knees, thighs, pelvis,
out through my head.
I'm gonna give you my number.
I'm gonna take you
out for coffee.
Just a little
fellowship around this.
- Hold on, we're
talking about Isaac.
Can we get back on
track here, please?
Sorry, Doctor, but...
- No, of course.
- He went to a school,
he got thrown out.
We put him in another one,
and now it's about
to happen again.
We're kinda out of options.
- I mean...
you might want to
consider anti-depressants.
- Anti-depressants?
No, no, no. Hold on a second.
My kid is not going Zombieland.
I'm sorry. He's nine years old.
Trace, right?
- It might work.
(slow guitar music)
- You can tell the temperature
by how many times a cricket
chirps in one minute.
- That's nice, honey.
Have you thought anymore
about the anti-depressants?
- Hey. Let's...
not do this right now, okay?
- When do you want to it, Lenny?
We can't put this off anymore.
Don't touch that salt!
- You know, I was
going online today,
and I was looking at some more
natural, homeopathic
stuff, and so...
- Oh.
Well, we could wait
until we get another call
for a parent-teacher conference,
after he takes out another
kid's teeth with a toy truck.
- Hey, he didn't
mean it, all right?
Isaac, put the salt down.
- Well, you call the
Hatch family and tell them
that Isaac didn't mean it,
and that we want our
$500 deductible back.
- Trace, I need you to take
it easy on me today, okay?
Isaac, put the
salt down. Come on.
Give me the salt, will ya?
- Give Mommy the salt.
Give me the salt!
(sighs)
- Ahhh!
- I run around here like a
chicken with my head cut off.
I take him to his appointments.
I'm doing the cooking
and the cleaning,
and fixing the wall when he
decides to have a shit fit!
And you're up there in the 57th
floor writing book reviews!
- Well, you know what?
You know what?
You don't have to worry about
me up on the 57th floor,
writing my little
book reviews anymore.
You know why?
'Cause I lost my job today.
Yeah. That's right.
So, I got plenty of time
to fix all the walls,
if you want.
(romantic music)
- Hey, Max, seriously, come on.
- Please.
- Slowly but surely.
- [Tracy] (laughing)
Just like the prom.
- [Lenny] Here it goes.
Just like the prom, right?
You're my prom date
forever, I swear.
(melancholic music)
- Hey Trace, how ya doin'?
Uh, I just went on
two job interviews.
I got two more, but...
I'll be home in time
for dinner, okay?
Love you. See ya later.
Hey.
- Hey.
- Give me the whole thing.
- Have a good day.
(jazzy music)
(singing softly)
- Trying to find my girl.
Where is she?
Where's my girl?
My girl...
- [Tracy] (moaning)
Oh my god! Yes. Oh.
(laughing)
Oh shit.
- I-I didn't realize doctors
still made house calls.
- [Iris] Oh shit.
- Oh god
(pensive music)
- [Jack] Good morning, Leonard.
- Mornin', Pops.
- [Jack] So...
I was upstairs,
tryin' to get the Browns
to the Super Bowl...
- Ah, Dad, geez, come
on. Give me a break.
- [Jack] Don't worry
about it, I got 'em there.
- You're an animal.
- Aw, little buddy.
I'm sorry about Tracy.
You did not see that one coming.
Humph. Boy.
She sucker-punched you.
- Yeah, she did, Dad.
She really did.
But hey, I just
want to say thanks
for letting me stay
here, you know.
I really appreciate it.
I was kinda...
out of options, you know.
- Anytime. All the time.
Up and at 'em.
Your brother's on the
way over to cheer you up.
- Max is coming?
- [Jack] Yeah.
- All right, Pops. I'll
be right there. (groans)
(imitating horn blowing)
- What a brekkie,
brekkie, brekkie.
Here we go, pal.
Mm, mm, mm!
What?
Oh hell, just eat
the damn things.
- He doesn't like it
when two different types
of food are touching, Pops.
How's that? Better?
- I beat Jack in
chess in seven moves.
Seven, seven, seven!
- We get it Bobby Fischer.
We know you are good.
- [Max} Hey, hey!
- Hey, Maxi, how's it swingin'?
- Oh, long and low, Dad.
Long and low.
There you go, Lenny.
- Thanks, man.
- Look at ya, boy.
Lordy, you're wasting
away over there.
Isaac. Knucks.
- Show some class.
Don't drink out of the bottle.
God, you weren't
raised in a cave.
Don't act like it.
- Ah! Borrow that.
This looks good.
- [Lenny] Hey, hey,
hey, hey, come on.
Hey. Get your own, you savage.
Hey.
- [Jack] Hey, knock it off.
Take it outside before
you break a tile!
- [Voiceover] Good
morning, Denver.
Welcome to First
Take on Jazz 89 KUPO.
I'm Carlos Lando.
On your morning drive,
here's a blast from the past.
A local treasure.
Denver's own guitarist,
Landon Strait.
- [Driver] Comin', Mr. S?
- Angus, I'm, I'm not,
I'm not feeling well.
I'm a little bit dizzy.
I think I have to stay and
see a nurse or a doctor.
I'm sorry.
- Okay. Take it easy.
(jazzy music)
(chuckles)
- Fee-fi-fo-fum.
I don't need a hot damn gun.
- Jesus, Pop, what the hell.
- Chop up firewood.
You should try it.
It'll clear your head.
You know...
I was thinkin'.
Maybe you should come
down to the pawn shop,
work with me.
- That is so not
gonna happen, Dad.
- Aw, come on, Lenny.
- No way, that's
your gag, not mine.
- It'll be good for ya.
You'll make some money.
I mean, you've been holding
up here like a hermit.
You need get out for a change.
Meet some tail.
- Tail, huh?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, that's what
I need is tail.
I got Isaac.
I can't even go out, Dad.
- Aw, Lenny, you're divorced.
Come on.
Just til you find something new.
- Thanks, Dad. Thanks a lot.
I'm a writer.
That's what I do, okay.
I'm trying to write
my novel here.
- Come down to the
pawn shop sometime.
See a slice of life.
Lots of stories to be
written about down there.
You should try it.
- Yeah, right, Pop.
Over my dead body.
- [Jack] That can be arranged.
- Thanks for your help, Dad.
(graceful music)
- Lenny, I have to pee.
- Go ahead, Bud.
(graceful music)
locked door rattling)
- Did he fall in?
(door rattling)
What the hell?
(fretful music)
Isaac!
- 29...
(urinating)
30...
(urinating)
31--
- [Landon] Excuse me!
Young man!
Where...
where are we?
Huh?
- It's 72 degrees, Mister.
- [Landon] What?
- The crickets told me.
- Crickets?
- You can tell
the temperature by
how many times a cricket
chirps in one minute.
I timed them.
32 chirps in 14 seconds.
Then you add 40.
40 plus 32 equals 72 degrees.
I'm Isaac.
You look like Santa.
- Nice, nice to me ya, Isaac.
- Lenny says I'm not supposed
to talk to strangers.
- Lenny's right.
'Bout talking to strangers.
- Would you like to play chess?
- O-Okay.
- Isaac!
I swear, I'm gonna put
a leash on that kid.
Isaac!
(clicking and beeping)
- Check.
(beeping)
Checkmate.
I win.
- (chuckles) Well, that
was quick. (laughing)
See you around, kid.
- See ya, Santa.
- [Landon] No, no, I'm
going over that way.
- Isaac!
(breathing heavily)
What are you doing, Bud?
You almost gave
me a heart attack.
I've been looking
all over for ya.
- Lenny, I met Santa.
- Dad, okay? Not Lenny.
What are you
talking about Santa?
I don't care if you
met the President.
I told you not to talk
to strangers, Bud.
- I had to pee.
Santa was peeing too.
I was counting the crickets.
- Listen.
You can't just go running
around like this, okay?
There's plenty of time to
do that when you're 18.
(sighs) Give me a hug.
- Ah!
- All right. All right.
Sorry.
I forgot the rules. (sighs)
What the hell am I
gonna do with this kid?
(tongue clicking)
(rock music)
(Isaac laughing)
(crashing)
(imitating engine revving)
- Hey, hey, no, no, hey.
Don't grab that, Bud.
Hey. Let me see that.
Look.
This is nothing but high
fructose corn syrup.
Don't, don't have that.
Here, have--
- [Isaac] I want grape!
- No, put this one back.
- I don't want that grape!
I want this grape!
- This is grape, okay?
Look, it's grape. It
comes from a tree--
- No! I want this grape!
- No, here, Bud--
- I want this grape!
- Listen, give me that.
Give me the grape!
Give me the grape!
- [Isaac] Ahh!
- (gasps) Oh! Ha ha ha!
(laughing)
Ahh! Ha ha!
Don't do it, don't do it!
- What happened to you?
What, did you run over
Barney the dinosaur?
- Um. We had a little incident.
At the grocery store.
- And you didn't
change his shirt?
- Trace, it's not like
I had an extra shirt
in my money clip.
Plus, he's home.
He's got a hundred
of 'em upstairs.
- All right. Well, come on.
Let's get you cleaned up.
Let's go.
So laxadaisical.
- Lackadaisical.
- Really?
Come on.
- How ya doin', Trace?
- I'm good, Lenny.
I'm good. Yeah.
How are you?
- I'm, I'm good.
Yeah, we should, uh, you know...
go for coffee or
something, sometime.
- Coffee?
- Yeah, you know, like
you and me, without...
all this. (chuckles)
- Hey, Lenny, how are ya?
- Hey, Iris. How ya doin'?
- What (laughs)
happened to your shirt?
- Uh, take a wild guess.
Little man, huh?
What's this?
- [Tracy] It's a throw pillow.
- Sweet.
It works.
- Your son made that.
- I'm learning to sew.
- Oh, that's great.
Yeah, that's great.
I betcha that's a real hit
with his classmates, huh?
- Lenny...
I know you're angry,
buddy, but listen.
I think you're angry at me
and Tracy and this situation,
but I, it's not Isaac.
- I'm just trying to
look out for my son.
Somebody's got to--
- What does that mean?
- W-What does that mean?
I just don't want to see
him get beat up, that's all.
He can save it for
his first marriage.
- Oh, grow up, Lenny.
- Grow up?
S-Seriously, like, what do
you guys think you've done
playing house over here?
I don't know.
What, do you just
wake up one morning,
and all of a sudden, you
just decide that you're gay?
- [Both] You don't
decide you're gay!
- Look what I made, Lenny.
- We're getting married.
- We are?
- Well, we are.
- I am so happy you
reconsidered coming back.
It's gonna be good for you.
Who knows, maybe it will help
you write that damn book.
- Yeah, maybe, Pop.
- Yeah.
- [Lenny] Maybe.
- Now, business.
Whatever something is worth,
you pay 10 percent.
If it's worth a dollar,
you pay a dime.
Unless it's stolen.
Then you pay even less.
Remember who we're dealing with.
Thieves, addicts, and crooks.
Yeah.
Three magic words...
- [Both] Trust no one.
- There you go.
- I know, Pop.
I remember.
You've been telling me
since I was like five.
(door opening)
(whooshing)
- Okay, we have
sold these before.
But they sit a long time.
- Where'd you get this thing?
- We don't ask you
guys too many questions
about where you get
all this stuff from.
Listen, I need to get
100 bucks for this.
- I'm sorry, what?
- I need to get
100 bucks for this.
And I gotta be somewhere
so can we do this quick, please?
- (chuckles) We'll give you 20.
- 20's not gonna help me.
Listen, I got alimony,
I got child support times three.
The Broncos can't
cover its damn spread.
Could you throw me
100 bucks for it?
- We'll give 20.
- All right. Enough for a
couple scratch-off tickets.
I'll take the 20 bucks.
(door opening)
(whooshing)
(door opening)
(whooshing)
(door opening)
(whooshing)
(laughing)
(door opening)
(whooshing)
(whooshing)
(cash rustling)
(door opening)
(whooshing)
(dog whimpering)
(whooshing)
(twinkling music)
(rock music)
(motorcycle engine rumbling)
- Listen to me for a
minute, okay? Please.
We, we need to sit
down and talk--
No, no...
It, Trace, don't--
- Tracy isn't natural.
That no good...
the nerve of that
clam-diving ex-wife of yours.
- Personally, I'm
allergic to shellfish.
(drum beating)
(laughing)
Hi.
I need a loan.
How much can I borrow
against this guitar
as collateral?
- Um...
Well...
Um...
- Check the serial numbers.
- Right.
Um.
How much do you need?
- 1500.
- Um...
900.
- Ha ha! He's funny.
You realize that's like
offering me 900 for a...
Ferrari. Right?
Is this guy for real?
- Uh, you know.
The kids, they just want to play
the latest, greatest
factory crap.
And you know, the
economy's bad so--
- Okay, so what are
we thinkin' here?
Ballpark.
- 950.
- Really?
- That's it. That's
the best we can do.
- Fine.
Sure. 950.
- All right.
Let me see some ID.
Here you go.
Sign on the red "X" and "X",
fill out the top,
and right here,
you understand that over
the next 30 days, right?
- Yeah, yeah. I get it.
Basically, you own me.
- With interest.
- Perfect! With interest.
(sighs)
Oh.
Hello.
- Why do you have these
weird paintings on your arms?
- Isaac.
- No, no. It's okay.
You mean my tattoo?
This is Athena.
Goddess of war.
Nice to meet you, Isaac.
I'm Chelsea.
- Cool.
Can I get a tattoo?
- [Lenny] Forget about it, Bud.
Not gonna happen.
- All right.
I will see you in 30
days to pick up my baby.
Take good care of her.
Thanks, Rookie.
- I told you you'd meet all
kinds down here, Rookie.
(rock music)
- Yeah, man. I mean, I'm
doing great, you know.
Coaching the kids
has been awesome.
It just brings everything
sort of full circle for me.
When the doc told me there'd
be no pros, you know.
That was tough, and I had to
come to terms with that but...
Now, it's like, I get to teach
the kids and pass the torch.
It's all good.
- I'm proud of you, man.
- Thank you.
How about you, man?
I know you've had kind
of a rough ride, lately.
- That I have.
Tracy's getting married, bro.
- What?
I thought she was playing
licka-lotta-puss with the doc?
- She is.
- Are you kidding me, man?
You telling me your wife
is getting more pussy than you?
That is ironic.
- Just explain
this to me, right?
One day I got a perfect job,
I've got a great wife and a kid,
and then...
(sighs) I don't know.
I'm living in my
dad's basement and...
I feel like I'm in an
episode of My Two Moms.
- I know, man, I hear ya.
I feel bad. I really do.
But you gotta get up, get
out, do something, you know?
You're gonna explode otherwise.
- We're catholic. We're
supposed to feel miserable.
(laughing)
- Yeah.
But first, you
gotta feel guilty.
- All right.
(fast-paced guitar music)
- Len, see?
This is why they
call it Happy Hour.
There are girls everywhere,
just for the taking.
Hi.
We need to get you one of those.
As a rebound, okay?
She can lick your wounds,
maybe even lick your
balls, you know?
It's a simple
mathematical equation.
- Yeah, you failed math.
- But I always aced
the lab practical.
See that look they gave?
That they're still
ridiculously giving?
That, plus me going over there,
that equals digits.
(blues music)
- Because she's blindfolded,
she hears this...
beating of the wings,
and cupid flies down and--
(clattering)
(gasping)
(distant dog barking)
Did you hear that?
- Someone's trying to break in.
- Oh my god.
Go see who it is.
- Me?
Thanks a lot.
- Well...
Do you have a bat?
- In the basement.
We have a chainsaw
in the garage.
- Well, that's no good.
- Oh my god.
- [Iris] Here.
- What the hell is that? What...
what the hell are you doing?
Put that away
before you kill me.
I'm gonna take the lamp.
- [Iris] The lamp
is a good idea.
Okay. Okay.
(grunting)
Yeah, that's good.
- Or I could go like
this. (grunting)
- [Iris] Okay.
- Okay.
- [Iris] Okay.
- Come on.
(distant dog barking)
(lighthearted suspenseful music)
(thumping)
(thudding)
- [Tracy] Ah!
Lenny!
- Ahh!
- Ah, you hit me
right in the ear.
- Oh, for god's sake, Lenny!
- [Tracy] (sighs) What
are you doing here?
- I don't know.
I was curious.
- Curious?
What do you mean?
You thought there'd be an orgy?
- I don't know.
I didn't think that far ahead.
- You know what?
I'm going to bed.
You two probably need to talk.
Just, before I go to bed,
is there a chainsaw
in the garage?
- Yeah.
- Well, I would like
to know how to use it.
For next time.
- Iris, don't play
with my tools.
- Goodnight.
- (sighs) Lenny,
what's going on?
- I'm lonely.
I miss you.
- Come here. Give me a hug.
You gotta let go.
No, I mean, Lenny, you
gotta let go right now.
Let go.
- Oh.
Oh. Okay.
(sighs)
(hard rock music)
* I know you, honey
* I know that you
were born to lose
* It's all right, sugar
* You know that I was too
- Hey.
I didn't think vampires
got up this early.
What's up?
- Flyers, they actually
look pretty good.
- Yeah, they do, huh?
Nice job.
Perfect.
- Wichita to Orlando.
1,339 miles.
- Really?
Okay. Well, explain to
me how we're gonna get
the gear and the band
all the way over there.
- We're gonna sell the merch.
The t-shirts, the CDs.
We'll get there.
Don't worry about it.
- I don't know.
I got the numbers right here,
and it just doesn't add up.
It's impossible.
- Why are you in such a hurry
to get home anyway, huh?
Chels, you move pretty fast.
I mean, we just broke
up a month ago, okay?
- God, Fang.
- Come on.
Who knows you better
than Fang, huh?
- You gotta stop saying that.
'Kay. So, I'm gonna go
start hanging these flyers
so we have more than five
people at our first show
and enough cash to get
us out of Denver, yeah?
And if you would've
kept your dick
in your pants in
the first place,
we wouldn't be having
this conversation.
- Chels, it was
the jager, come on.
(car pulling up)
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.
Come on, kiddo, here we are.
- What's up, Bud?
- Ah, boy. Thanks for
watching him tonight.
Iris and I have a reservation
at 6:30 at the Chop House.
That's the earliest and the
latest they could book us.
- Oh. Chop House, huh?
That's hoity-toity.
(motorcycle approaching)
- Hi, Chelsea!
- Hey, buddy.
Brought you something.
- Who's that?
- Uh, just...
just a girl that was in
the shop the other day.
- Here. Give me your arm.
All right. I need
you to lick this.
Don't freak out.
Perfect.
Wait.
Yeah! See?
Now we match.
Kinda.
- [Isaac] What's this?
- It's a band.
It's called The Equilibrium.
- Are they your favorite?
- Yeah, you could say that.
Here.
Take one of these.
- Thanks, Chelsea.
- You're welcome.
- Look, Mom! I got a tattoo!
- Great.
Now you have a tattoo.
Are you sure your
dad's around tonight?
- Yeah, he's around.
We got it covered, Trace.
- Thanks. I appreciate it.
- Make sure you girls
are home by nine.
- Okay.
(car driving off)
- I can help you with that.
- What?
- I can help you
get your wife back.
- (laughs) What are
you talkin' about?
- My...
services,
if you forgive the
debt on my guitar.
Even trade.
- (chuckles) You're crazy.
- Am I?
- I'm serious.
Shake on it.
- Deal.
- [Chelsea] This is one of
my favorite go-to spots.
We're gonna get you
some fresh new duds.
- [Lenny] Fresh new duds, huh?
- Well. Gently used duds.
Okay.
- Chelsea, that's a nice name.
Where'd that come from?
- Well, thank you.
I'm actually named after the
Chelsea Hotel in New York,
believe it or not.
- Really?
- You know where that is? No?
That's where all the classic
staples in rock started.
Uh, Janis Joplin, Iggy
Pop, Sid Vicious...
Ugh.
- Is this good? No?
- No.
My dad played on that
stage, once upon a time.
- Really? He jammed
with the Sex Pistols?
- No, silly. (laughs)
But that's where he met
my mom, and, you know...
the rest is history, right?
- Oh, so that's where
you get the music gene.
What about this?
(laughing)
No?
- Walker, Texas Ranger.
(laughing)
So, tell me about yourself.
I don't know anything about you,
other than you work in
your dad's pawn shop.
- Um. Well, I'm a book
critic for the newspaper.
- Oh, you are?
- Yeah.
- [Chelsea] No way.
- This isn't better?
No?
- So, you have the
creative gene too.
- Yeah, well...
the newspaper closed
and now I'm just
an out of work writer.
- Oh. Well, shouldn't
you be doing
what all unemployed writers do?
Write your memoir of
your life, or something?
- Yeah, it's funny
you should say that.
I've been trying
to write a book,
but I've been a little stuck.
I like this one.
- [Chelsea] What
size are your feet?
- Uh, 11.
- [Chelsea] 11. Nope.
- Yep.
- These are great.
(funky music)
(approaching footsteps)
Ow.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
Oh.
- [Lenny] I can't do this.
I can't do this.
- What do you mean
you can't do this?
- I-I-I, uh, I'm not
ready to go in there.
I haven't been on a
date in like 15 years.
- Rookie? Hello.
This is exactly why
this is gonna work.
The best way to make
a woman jealous is
to have a different
one on your arm.
It's the oldest
trick in the book.
The only way this
isn't gonna work
if you don't go in
there confident.
You know what you are?
- What?
- An 11.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- All right. Come on.
Let's go.
I look good?
- Yeah.
- All right.
(indistinct conversation)
Hey.
Iris, Tracy. How's it goin'?
- [Iris] Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi. Oh, uh, this
is my date, Chelsea.
- Hi.
Chelsea. Pleasure.
Hey.
- [Iris] Hi.
- Nice to meet ya.
- Beautiful.
- Thank you. (chuckles)
Oh. Do you know where
the restroom is?
I gotta shake the
dew off the lily.
- Um...
yeah, I think it's
right where we came in.
Over by the maitre d'.
- Perfect. Thanks.
Um...
I'm gonna go grab a
drink over by the bar.
- [Iris] She's 20.
- [Tracy] What's he doing?
(dialing phone)
(ringing)
- Dr. Iris, we need you
back in the ER, immediately.
There's been a
horrific bus accident.
An entire marching band collided
with a semi hauling gas.
There's bodies and blood and...
batons everywhere.
A horrible mess.
- Honey, I'm so sorry.
I have to go back there.
There's some kind of emergency.
Please, please forgive me.
- Now?
- I'm so sorry, honey.
I will make it up to you.
I love you. (smooches)
I love you. I love you.
I'll see you back home.
Just take a cab home.
- Okay.
(indistinct conversations)
(exhales)
- Don't...
- What happened?
- Well, no, Iris had
to go to the hospital.
What else is new.
She told me to take a cab home.
- Come on. Seriously?
I-I'll give you a
ride home, Trace.
- No, no, no, no.
You have a, have a--
- No, no, no, seriously.
I'll, I'll tell my
date to take a cab.
- You have to babysit. No.
- Come on.
(slow music)
(moaning)
- [Tracy] Lenny!
- [Lenny] What? Huh?
- [Tracy] Relax.
- [Lenny] I'm okay.
- [Tracy] You know what?
Let me just get
on top, all right?
Just let me get on top.
- [Lenny] Okay.
- [Tracy] All right.
- [Lenny] All right.
Yeah, get on top.
Okay. Here we go.
- [Tracy] All right.
Let me just...(grunting)
- Yeah, how's that?
Is that pretty good?
What?
(Tracy groans)
What?
- Oh, god. (sighs)
- What?
What's the matter?
Trace?
- (sighs) Oh, god.
- What's wrong?
- Mm. This isn't good.
Father, what I'm
about to ask you
is probably a complete
impossibility.
You know that Lenny
and I are now divorced.
It's not because
I don't love him.
It's because I
wasn't being myself.
So, uh,
here it goes.
I have fallen in love.
Actually, I've been in
love for a while now.
Her name is Iris.
And we're ready for
a deeper commitment.
Only the kind of
commitment that we want
is considered blasphemous
by the church.
But you know me, Father David,
and I know you want
me to be happy.
And I know God wants
to see us all happy.
So, how?
How can you deny
us this happiness?
Please, isn't there some way
that you can make this happen?
Will you marry us?
- Do you realize what
you just asked me to do?
(phone beeps)
- Oh.
- I don't really
know where to start.
I've been really
confused, Lenny, lately.
So confused. Um...
- Here. Have some of this.
Take the edge off.
- All right, let me cut right
to the chase. (clinks glasses)
The other night was a mistake.
- What do you mean
it was a mistake?
- I mean, it's not your fault.
I was, I was, you know...
tipsy,
and I was angry at Iris,
and you'd walked in
with that girl, and...
you know, I-I shouldn't have,
I shouldn't have
taken that out on you.
I just--
- We're supposed to be together.
We need to be
together for Isaac.
- I know he needs us.
He has us.
But I have to be
the person I love.
- You don't love me anymore?
- No. I love you.
Of course, Lenny.
Just not in love
with you, anymore.
(sighs)
You know, we set a
date for the wedding.
It's in two weeks,
and we'd love you to be there.
- No way that's gonna happen.
- Oh.
- [Lenny] See ya later.
Father David?
- Lenny. Come on in.
- Is this a bad time?
- No. No, no. It's
always a good time.
I was just prepping a
little bit for today's mass.
What's up?
- Um.
It's Tracy.
She's gettin' remarried.
To Iris.
- I know, Lenny.
They've uh...
They asked me to do the wedding.
- What?
What, what do you mean they
asked you to do the wedding?
I mean, the church
won't allow that.
- I know.
It's not as though the two
forces exactly align, do they?
- No, no, no.
You gotta talk some
sense into her.
Y-You...
You can't let her do this.
I mean, you gotta help me
get my family back, Father.
- Lenny, I hate to be the
one to disappoint you.
- No, no, no. You
gotta stop her.
You gotta stop her.
You can't let this happen.
Father, she's
gonna burn in hell.
- I think that's
up to God, Lenny.
I know this seems
totally foreign to you.
It's not what we've been taught.
But God teaches us acceptance.
And maybe,
just maybe,
that's something you've
got to come to terms with.
(slow acoustic music)
(door opening)
- Hey.
I came to collect on our deal.
- Deal was I'd get my wife back.
Plan didn't work so,
deal's off.
- Hey, I took care of
my end of the bargain.
I want my guitar back.
- Things didn't work out
the way you promised, okay?
So, forget it.
- Promised?
I did what I was supposed to do.
The deal was...
you wanted me to get you
back in bed with your wife.
So I did.
Just 'cause you
couldn't seal the deal,
or whatever the heck went down,
not my problem.
Now, give me my guitar.
Wow.
I was wrong about you, Rookie.
I thought you were
a man of your word.
Guess I was wrong.
(door opening and closing)
(sighs)
- Hey!
Hey!
You forgot somethin'.
- What's this, Rookie?
Change of heart?
- A deal's a deal, right?
- Yeah, that's right.
A deal is a deal.
This on?
- Yeah. Thanks.
Oh. Yes.
Perfect.
Thanks.
She means a lot.
- You're welcome.
I'll uh, see you later?
- Hey! Rookie!
Hey, um...
you know what?
There's this band
playing tomorrow night.
I don't know if you're into
that kinda thing but...
they're supposed
to be pretty good.
- [Lenny] Yeah?
- Yeah.
- I'll think about it.
Okay?
- The details are on the flyer.
- Right.
- Watch where
you're going, 'Tard.
- Ahh!
- Ahh!
God, I can't believe it.
I mean, one minute he's there,
and the next minute he's gone!
- Calm down, Trace.
- He was just at
school, and he just,
don't tell me to calm down!
My god!
We gotta put a GPS on this kid.
I mean, and the police,
they won't make a report
for 24 hours!
Can you believe it?
- I know. It's ridiculous.
- 24 hours!
God, and I've been
trying to call Iris,
and I don't know where she is.
- You should call me first.
I'm his Dad, remember?
You know what?
I think I might have
an idea where he is.
Come on.
(beeping)
- Check.
(beeping)
Checkmate. I win.
You used the same moves
as you did before.
- I-I'm sorry.
What did you say your name was?
Lately, I can't
remember (chuckles)
what I had for breakfast, but...
I can still remember...
things that happened to
me when I was a young man.
- That must've been
a long time ago.
- It was.
Be thankful that you're
still a young man.
These golden years,
they're not so golden.
You get to be my age, it's,
it's hard to remember.
(laughs) I'd forget my
head if it wasn't attached.
- Lenny says I have a
photographic memory.
- Well, see, you're lucky.
That way, when
everything else goes,
you'll still have your memories.
- So, what do you remember then?
- Well, uh...
(guitar strumming)
the day I met my wife.
The red dress she was wearing.
The color of her eyes,
green like emeralds.
And our first kiss.
The very moment my
daughter was born.
That, that was the
day my world changed.
These things, a
man never forgets.
See?
- [Isaac] Who's that?
- [Landon] That's me.
- [Isaac] No, it's not.
- Oh yes, it is. Really.
Believe it or not,
at one time, I was a kid.
Just like you.
Well...
- Why's your watch on a chain?
'Cause you won't lose it?
- No, no. That's just the
way they use to make 'em.
It's called a pocket-watch.
It's old-fashioned.
Just like me.
- [Isaac] I need one
to time the crickets.
- Well, you do? Well...
here.
Take mine.
Consider it a gift from Santa.
- Lenny says I'm not allowed
to take gifts from strangers.
- No, please. Take it.
It'll make me feel better. Here.
- If you say so.
- Nice?
Well, that's why they
call me Santa. (chuckles)
Well, hey.
I gotta, I gotta go, kid.
I gotta gig.
- What's a gig?
- A gig is when a musician,
uh, plays in front
of an audience.
- Well. Thanks for
the watch, Santa.
- Sure thing, Kiddo.
Bye bye.
(tender acoustic music)
- Ah.
Isaac.
- Oh my god!
Isaac!
Where were you?
- Buddy.
What's this?
Where'd you get that?
- Santa gave it to me.
- Again with the Santa thing.
What...(sighs)
- You know, he was
really upset this morning
about something.
And he would not talk about it.
I think it's that kid.
That little prick,
Brett, at school.
- Yeah, that kid's a punk.
- Oh honey, I'm so sorry.
My phone was turned off.
I was with patients all morning.
I...
Hey, Buddy.
I like your watch.
Thanks for pinch-hitting, Lenny.
- Yeah, sure, it's...
it's what I do.
- Lenny, were you
a kid at one time?
- Yeah. Yeah, a long time ago.
Why?
- So, that means
Santa was a kid, too?
Right?
- Um...
yeah.
Yeah, I guess.
Why do you ask?
- Since Santa gave
me this watch,
I've been thinking
more about time.
- Oh yeah? What about it?
- Well, seconds
tick by pretty fast.
Then they turn into minutes,
then hours,
then days.
There are important days
that only come around
once a year.
Like Christmas and birthdays.
We only get so many of them.
Like a bag of candy.
It's good to cherish each bite.
'Cause who knows how many
pieces you'll have left.
- You got all that
out of a watch?
(guitar strumming)
- I don't know, man. (sighs)
I thought I got her back,
got her to switch teams, but...
I think I failed, man.
- If we're gonna move forward,
we must learn to let go of
the things we cannot change.
And you, my friend, cannot
change the way Tracy feels.
So, I'm thinking Dad was right.
You need to just let it go,
and open yourself up to
some new possibilities.
- Yeah, I know I
probably should.
I'm just, uh...
Dude. Dude.
What the hell, man? (laughs)
- (laughs) Just tryin'
to lighten you up, man.
- You know what?
- [Max] What?
- This girl came
in the other day,
said there's a band
playing tonight.
- A band.
Nice.
- Dude.
How many of these did
you put on me, man?
- Oh, let's see.
Maybe 47? (laughs)
(rock music)
(motorcycle engines idling)
Kinda feels like
we might as well of
rolled up on one of these, huh?
* Crazy days, they
shook your love
* A big hand is gonna crush ya
* Well, you mind is racing
and your body's weak
* Destination's lookin' bleak
* Oh baby
- Sorry.
(loud rock music)
- Wow, these guys are bad-ass!
- Yeah. Right?
Dude, that's Chelsea!
(crowd cheering and applauding)
(hard rock music)
(loud rock music)
(loud cheering and yelling)
- We are Equil...
- [Crowd] Librium!
- Equil!
- [Crowd] Librium!
- Equil!
- [Crowd] Librium!
(cheering and clapping)
Thank you so much!
(indistinct yelling)
Miss Chelsea Strait!
(crowd cheering)
Over here on guitar,
we got Stevie Shred!
(cheering)
I am Fang!
(cheering and screaming)
We hope we will see you at
Herman's tomorrow night!
Peace out!
(yelling and cheering)
- Wow.
- I thought she was really good.
- Hey. Rookie?
You made it.
- Hey.
How you doin'?
- I'm well.
I didn't think you'd show.
- Well, I did.
And, uh, that was awesome.
I didn't realize
this was your band.
I thought I was
going to see a band.
But you're...
you're an amazing drummer.
- Thanks.
- [Lenny] It's cool.
- Keeps my crazy to a minimum.
Know what I mean?
- Yeah, you were awesome.
Seriously, you killed it.
I'm, uh, Max, his brother.
He's not gonna introduce me.
He's gonna forget.
- Chelsea.
- You guys want a drink?
I'll go grab a waitress.
- [Chelsea] Yeah.
- Yes.
- Thanks again, so
much, for coming.
Um...
Listen, I'd love to sit here
and chat with you some more,
but these guys want
us out of here.
I've gotta break down my kit.
But do you wanna
go so where later?
- Oh my god. He would so
totally love to do that.
I need to leave and get up
early, so I'm gonna be gone,
but you guys hang out.
Chelsea, it was
great to meet you.
Thanks a lot for the show.
You guys did a great job.
Let me know if you
have another gig,
or if you have a sister, or
friends, or you know, two.
(stuttering) Thanks.
(laughing)
- He's funny.
- He is funny.
- So...
yes, no?
- I'd love to.
- I know the perfect place.
(lovely romantic music)
(lovely romantic music)
(thudding)
(lovely romantic music)
- Hey.
Mornin'.
- Good afternoon, actually.
Coffee?
- Yeah, sure.
What the hell have I
gotten myself into?
- (sighs) Coffee's ready.
- Thanks.
What's this?
Going somewhere?
- No.
I had to move my dad
into a home last week.
- Sorry.
- Yeah.
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
I just can't believe
I chased my wife
into the arms of another woman.
- Well, legs.
Technically speaking.
(laughs) Sorry.
That was too easy.
But hey, on the upshot, at
least you got an upgrade.
- Yeah. That's true.
- Uh. I'm starving.
You want to go grab some
breakfast down the road?
- Can't.
I gotta work.
- Oh.
Well, just call in sick.
It's your dad.
It's not like he's
gonna fire you.
- I can't just call in
sick, Chelsea, okay?
I've got a job.
- Well, what are
you up to later?
What time are you off?
- I got Isaac tonight.
- Perfect.
I'm playing a show
at Herman's at 7:30,
and the kid's never
seen a live band.
He'd go wild for
something like that.
- Chelsea, I can't just
go cruisin' around town,
watching music, head-bangin',
riding motorcycles all
over the place, okay?
I can't do it.
- Well, didn't you
feel alive yesterday?
- Yeah. I did.
For the first time in years.
- 'Kay. Then what's the problem?
- I have a kid, okay?
With special needs.
- Yeah, and he's a great kid.
So what?
You've got some shit. So do I.
Lenny, I like the
shit that's going on.
'Cause you know why?
I like you.
- I like you too.
I do, Chelse.
But I'm 20 years older than you.
And you just haven't
lived long enough yet
to know what life is all about.
- Okay. Whoa, whoa.
Let me get one thing
straight, okay?
I basically show
you the best time
that you've had
in, I don't know,
how long has your life
been boring, Lenny?
Five years?
Been hangin' out with me.
Telling me that "Oh, I'm
different" or whatever.
You come back here,
you fuck the shit out of me,
and now all of
sudden, you're just,
you're done?
Yeah, sure, maybe
I haven't lived
as long as you have, Lenny,
but I'm old enough to know that
you're being an asshole,
just like every other man
that's come into my life!
You want me to give
you some advice?
Why don't you
fight for something
that's worth fighting for?
- Like what?
- Like me.
- You know what?
I gotta get back to my life.
- You know what? Screw you.
(brooding music)
(thudding)
- Allosaurus,
stegosaurus, plateosaurus.
- Who you talking to, Is-ick?
Ike the dike.
Why don't you introduce us to
your little invisible friends?
I asked you a question.
- You asked me two
questions, actually.
- What'd you say?
- [Isaac] Three questions.
- Look, you little fairy,
you tryin' to mess with me?
- Four questions.
- [Brett] I'll give you
the beating of your life,
you retarded,
laxadaisical little--
- It's lackadaisical!
Lackadaisical!
There's no "X"!
(ripping)
Ahh!
(thudding)
Ahh!
Ah! Ah! Ah!
(thudding and thumping)
(blowing and razzing)
- What the hell, Pop?
Come on.
- Somebody pawned this thing.
I am now the proud
owner of a didgeri-doo.
What the hell happened to you?
- Fang.
- What's a Fang?
- Chelsea's ex-boyfriend,
or whatever the hell he is.
He gave me a sucker shot, Pops.
(phone ringing)
Hey, Trace.
What?
Alright, what the hell happened?
- He ripped my
allosaurus in half.
- Why did he do that?
- I corrected his English.
- Well, you shouldn't
do that, Isaac.
People don't like that.
- [Isaac] You
correct my English.
- I, it's different, okay?
I'm your father.
Isaac, you can't just go around
beating up kids in your class!
- He's not in my class.
- What am I gonna
do with you, Isaac?
Seriously.
Put you on anti-depressants
to mellow you out, or what?
You're a pain in my ass, Isaac!
A pain in my ass!
(tires screeching to a halt)
- Ah! Ahh! Ahh!
- [Lenny] Let's go.
(Isaac yelling)
(doorbell ringing)
(knocking)
Tracy!
- Lenny.
What's going on? What happened?
- [Lenny] Where's Tracy?
- She's not here.
What, what do you need?
- What do I need?
I need my wife, right now.
That's what I need.
Oh, or, I'm sorry, your wife.
Or, whoever's wife
she is, right now.
- I thought you had
Isaac until tomorrow.
- I do, okay?
But I need you
take him right now.
- Isaac, why don't
you go inside, and,
and take a shower.
- Okay, you need to calm down.
- Oh, I need to calm down?
I need to calm down?
I think I've been
pretty calm through
this whole thing, Iris.
Real calm!
Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
While I'm trying to raise
this impossible kid,
I come home and I
find the two of ya
muff-bumping in my bed!
That's right. So, you know what?
So, you've got it
all figured out?
You take this kid for awhile!
- What is your problem?
We have moved beyond this.
We have to support one another.
- Support one another. (laughs)
Support one another? (laughs)
This is just a ridiculous
fling for her, Iris.
Yeah.
When she wakes up from
this misguided dream,
she's gonna dump your ass.
That's right.
And she's gonna come back to me!
I'm the father of her child!
- [Iris] Unbelievable!
- [Lenny] That's right.
- Unbelievable!
- Oh yeah? Unbelievable, huh?
(door slams)
Yeah. Have fun!
Have fun in my house, Iris!
That's right!
The house that I paid for, Iris!
(phone ringing)
- Hey, Dad.
How ya doin' today?
- I'm doing just
fine, young lady.
- You brought a...
guitar.
- Yeah.
It's your guitar, Dad.
You gave it to me after
you stopped touring.
I thought I'd bring
it back to you
so you'd have something
to do to pass the time
while I'm gone.
I'm going out of town for a bit.
- Oh yeah?
Wh-Where you goin'?
- I'm going on a
tour with my band.
Just like you did.
- Well, that sounds exciting.
Uh, tour the world
for inspiration,
meet new people, see new places.
You know, you know
what you should do?
You, you should
go see the Louvre.
For inspirations.
- I know.
You took me there
when I was nine.
- Where did I meet you before?
- Um...
sorry.
The past couple of years
have been really tough on me.
Because you're
here, but you're...
not.
Anyway, I don't want
you to worry about me.
I'm gonna be fine, 'kay?
(sighs) I love you.
I know I'm gonna be seeing
you again real soon.
I-I'm just...
I'm just afraid that
when I get back,
I might've already lost you.
- Well. Goodbye.
Tell me your name again, honey.
I-I'm so forgetful,
it's...(laughs)
I'm sorry.
- Chelsea.
My name is Chelsea.
I'm your daughter.
- [Landon] Chelsea.
(woeful acoustic music)
- Genius. Genius
draws no color line.
And so it is fitting,
that Marian Anderson
should raise her voice
in tribute to the noble Lincoln,
whom mankind will ever honor.
* My country tis of thee
* Sweet land of liberty
* Of thee we sing
* Land where my fathers died
* Land of the Pilgrim's pride
* From every mountain side
* Let freedom ring
(romantic music)
(wedding video playing)
- No, no, no.
Uh uh.
We're not gonna let
you be this guy.
What's going on?
- I thought we were gonna
be together forever.
(Max sighs)
(shuts off computer)
- What happened to your eye?
- Oh, this...
this dude, Fang, punched me out.
Chelsea's ex-boyfriend,
or whatever.
- Oops.
Rookie maneuver.
- Humph. Yeah, that's what
Chelsea used to call me.
- Ha, ha. Yeah.
That girl's a pistol.
What do you mean she "used to"?
- I don't know.
It's all messed up.
I'm mean, she's...
she's young, and
I gotta go through
her ex-boyfriend
to get to her.
It's all just
happening too fast.
And I don't think
I'm ready for this.
- Seriously?
Len, your life is
in way better shape
than you keep thinking it is.
Isaac is an awesome kid.
You got Tracy, and Iris
now, to take care of him
when you go off and
write your book,
or whatever you're
gonna do with your life.
You got the whole
world ahead of you.
(sighs) I gotta be honest, Len.
You're my brother,
and I love you, but...
(gulps) I hardly even
recognize you these days.
Only time I've even
seen you crack a smile
in the last few months is when
you were watching
Chelsea play drums.
- (laughs) Yeah?
- Yeah.
If you had half a
brain, you'd go find her
and sort shit out with her.
She makes you happy.
Who cares how old she is?
- I don't know, Mr.
Bachelor-of-the-Year.
You'll see.
You'll have a family
of your own, and a kid.
- We gotta gear
you up for a fight.
Come on, man.
Let's get the fight back in ya.
Len, you've been
stuck in this struggle
for the last couple
of months, you know.
And mixed martial arts?
It's all about just
getting comfortable
in the midst of that struggle.
You learn to roll
with the punches.
You accept what
you can't change.
And you move on when you can.
- Okay.
I-I just...
I'm just trying to
get my life back, Max.
- I hear you, man. I know.
It's the fight of
your life, bro.
(intense music)
(thudding and thumping)
(intense music)
(indistinct coaching)
- [Max] Pull him into
a clinch, right here.
All right?
Calm it down.
Just settle things down
until it's your game.
(thudding and grunting)
Use your knees, like this.
(thudding)
Cover up, cover up.
That's not comfortable, is it?
Fight out of it.
Fight out of it.
Come on.
(intense music)
There you go, there you go.
Good job.
Good work.
- Welcome to God's house, Lenny.
Nature.
Stillness.
I've done some of
my best thinking,
walking around this lake.
Butting my head up against
some of the deepest
mysteries in life.
- Still can't believe
you left the church.
- Well, I (chuckles)
didn't really leave.
I just kinda changed
seats, you know?
Lenny, I've always
thought of God
as the most freeing of things.
Boy, look how man
has organized Him.
Shaped Him into what they need.
I was taught by the Jesuits
to always question my faith.
Question.
Challenge it.
You challenge it,
you become stronger
in that faith.
Though you will change.
(birds cawing)
(laughing)
- And you changed, huh?
- Well...
I adapted.
This is what I've
come to terms with.
I think over time,
I'll come back and
look at this issue.
Much like we did the civil
rights issues of the 1960's.
Embracing change takes
forward thinking.
And I know it's tough
for you, right now.
And you...
you've got a storm that
is raging all around you.
But, let me tell you something.
You look out there
into the calm,
into the stillness,
and more often than not,
you will find your answer.
I want you to trust yourself.
'Cause I don't think your
spirit will ever be at peace
until you learn to accept
Tracy for who she is.
More importantly, accept
yourself for who you are.
(pensive music)
Come to the wedding.
She really needs you.
- Hey, Len. Here's the keys.
Just put his stuff in my car.
Isaac, I'll see
ya after the game.
Okay, Buddy?
Thanks for coming, guys.
- [Lenny] Thanks,
Max. Appreciate it.
See ya later.
- [Max] Right on.
- [Lenny] Sorry I got
mad at you the other day.
Just feel like I'm,
been a bad dad lately.
- Okay, Lenny.
- No, it's not okay.
I promise I'll do my
best to be better, okay?
Still won't call me Dad, huh?
- But your name is Lenny.
- Yeah, I know, but
Dad is more meaningful.
Lenny's just a name.
Anyway,
Max is gonna drop
you off at your mom's
after the game, okay?
(Isaac sighs)
- Gonna be there at
Tracy's wedding tomorrow?
- (sighs) I don't know, Isaac.
I don't know.
(bell tolling)
- And therefore, if any
person can show just cause
why these two people should not
be joined lawfully together,
let him speak now or
forever hold his peace.
- I object!
Tracy, please!
Please, I'm begging you!
Don't do this! Don't do this!
- Lenny, this is not
gonna go well for you.
- No, no. I'm sorry, Father.
Everybody just keeps
telling me to move on!
Chelsea?
- Yeah, that's right, Lenny.
I'm going back to my old life.
I bet you wish you could go
back to yours too, right?
Playing house with your wife.
Pretending she's
something she's not.
With your son stuck
in the middle.
(sighs) I mean, hey, I guess...
she knows who she is.
What about you, Lenny?
Who are you?
- Snooze, you lose, pal.
- Alrighty then.
As they say in the vernacular,
let's get jiggy with it.
By the power vested
in me from God,
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
- No!
(tires screeching)
(hard rock music)
Chelsea. Hey, listen.
I've been a total idiot.
I-I just think
you're amazing and...
look, call me.
Please?
- Friends, we are
gathered here today
to bring together the
lives of these two people,
Tracy and Iris.
(rock music)
(tires squealing)
To join together this woman
and this woman
in holy matrimony,
an honorable state.
(intense rock music)
(tires screeching to a halt)
Who wish to be married
in the presence
of their families,
their friends,
and before the eyes of God.
Do you, Tracy, take Iris to
be your lawfully wedded...
husband?
- [Tracy] Wife.
- Wife.
Wife.
In sickness and in health?
- I do.
- [Father David] And do
you, Iris, take Tracy
to be your lawfully wedded wife
in sickness and in health?
- [Iris] I do.
- I now pronounce you...
- [Lenny] Hold on.
Hold on a second.
Sorry.
Sorry. I'm sorry to
interrupt you guys.
- Lenny, what are you doing?
- There's something
I have to say.
Tracy, once I found out the
truth about who you are,
I was hurt.
It hurt me to the core.
And everything I believed in
was disappearing before my eyes.
Somehow, I got blown off course.
I lost my internal compass.
But somehow, through
all of this, I...
I found my way home.
There's nothing wrong with you.
There's nothing wrong with me.
It's just...
pain to go through.
And now that I'm
out the other side,
I'm glad.
I'm glad that you don't
have to be something
that you're not anymore.
I accept you for who you are.
You're the mother of our son.
And I need you.
You too, Iris.
We're a family.
We're a little screwed-up, but
we're still a family.
- Lenny?
- [Lenny] Yeah?
- Can we do this another time?
'Cause we're kind of in
the middle of something.
- Oh, yeah. I'm sorry.
There's one more
thing I gotta do.
- And we continue.
I now pronounce you...
I now pronounce
this couple married.
You may kiss each other.
(romantic music)
(upbeat drum music)
(knocking)
- Chels?
(upbeat drum music)
Um.
Excuse me.
I'm looking for...
actually, I don't know who
I'm looking for, exactly,
But uh, he's got a
daughter named Chelsea.
* Even though you
don't remember me
* I remember you
- Mr. Strait?
You have a visitor.
- Thanks.
Is that your guitar?
- Yeah.
I gave it to my
daughter, Chelsea,
to sell if for me so that
I could afford this place.
- Chelsea, huh?
- You know my daughter?
- Yeah, I know your daughter.
As a matter of fact,
I'm lookin' for her.
Do you know where she is?
- Yeah. She's uh...
s-she, s-she's, she's at work.
She works as a...
as a waitress,
at, at a...
- It's real, it's
really important.
- At the, at the Buffalo
Rose. Yeah, that's it.
- A waitress, huh?
- Yeah, she left for
work about an hour ago.
She seemed very upset,
and nothing I could
do would cheer her up.
- Yeah.
Well, I'm gonna
fix all that, okay?
- Okay.
- I promise.
Very nice to meet you, sir.
See ya later.
- Okay.
She's gone on tour
with her band.
To, um...
to Paris. Yeah, that's it.
- Paris, huh?
- And t-tell her to
bring back my guitar.
- I will.
- Paris, Texas. Yeah, that's it.
Paris, Texas.
- We get real wacky crowds,
so be on your toes.
All right?
Got that?
- Hey fellas, do you
know where Chelsea is?
- I got this guy.
- Oh, shit.
- You again, huh?
You're back for more?
(thudding)
(exquisite opera music)
- Thanks, Rookie.
Oh! Hello.
See?
Now we match.
- You better stay down.
(exquisite opera music)
- They're shutting
down the newspaper.
We're all out of a job.
- We're getting married!
- Father, she's
gonna burn in hell.
- Oh, really? You
want some more?
(thudding)
(exquisite opera music)
Oh yeah?
(thudding)
(exquisite opera music)
- Nice goin', Ace.
(thudding)
(thumping and grunting)
(exquisite opera music)
(thudding)
- (thuds) Oh, shit.
(thudding and grunting)
(beautiful opera music building)
Nightie night, Fang.
Sleep tight.
- What the hell are you doing?
- Fighting for you.
- I didn't mean actually
fight for me, you bozo!
Hey.
- Chelsea.
I am a bozo, Chelsea, I am.
I want to be with you.
You know why?
Because you helped
me find myself again.
I tried to call you
to tell you that.
And I stopped by
your dad's place,
he told me you
worked here, and--
- Wait. What?
Y-You met my dad?
- Yeah.
At the convalescent home.
Chelsea, he told me
you were going on tour.
And like...
how are we gonna work this out?
- Relax, Rookie.
We're Equilibrium,
not Aerosmith.
We'll be back in two weeks.
- Oh.
- And besides, it will
give you some time
to write your book and,
who knows, maybe
when I get back,
you can, you can read it to me?
Deal?
- Deal.
Come here.
(lovely romantic music)
Hey. See this?
(clattering)
(joyful music)
- Lenny?
What's gonna happen to Santa?
- I don't know, Isaac.
- He's a nice man.
- I know. I like him too, Bud.
- Do we all lose our
memories when we get older?
Is that what happens?
- Sometimes.
- Hope that never happens to me.
- I think you'll be all right.
- It's like he left Chelsea.
But he's still here.
- Yeah, but Chelsea's
there for him.
And that's what matters.
- You won't ever leave me,
will you, Dad?
- No.
I'll never leave you, Son.
You know I love you, right, Bud?
(joyful music)
(gentle jazz music)
(fire alarm blaring)
- Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.
It's been a while since I've
done a confession but...
I must need it because...
I don't know what I did to
deserve the circumstances
of my life right now.
It just seems that
everything's...
everything I ever cared
about has disappeared
before my eyes.
This whole thing with Tracy.
I mean, I just
don't understand it.
So what am I supposed to do?
Just sit back and
accept all this?
I need your strength and
your guidance right now.
Right now.
To help me get my family back.
In the name of the
Father, Son, Holy Spirit.
Amen.
(melancholic music)
(organ music)
- Family.
What is family?
Today, families seem to
come in all different
shapes, styles,
sizes, and colors.
Veritable kaleidoscope.
And yet, it is the
very notion of family
that unites us.
And it binds us.
It is the very glue, if
you will, of our society.
It's the foundation
of our future--
- Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ahhh!
(congregation murmuring)
- My critics rave.
But embracing one
another for who we are.
Despite our differences.
And unite us in ways that we
can never even come to expect.
You were pretty as a
princess today, my darlin'.
(chuckles) How are ya?
- A great sermon, as usual.
- Thank you.
All families like yours
are my inspiration.
- I'm sorry about
the interruption.
- No, nonsense.
Isaac was just exalting
the praises of the Lord,
weren't you, Isaac?
- The Rockies are gonna
win the World Series.
- (chuckles) Well, that would
be an act of God, wouldn't it?
(laughing) Amen to
that, Isaac. Amen.
- Come on, honey.
- All right. Well, we'll
see you next Sunday.
- You bet. Thanks for coming by.
Have a great Sunday.
- [Isaac] Lenny,
why did the dinosaurs
become extinct?
- [Lenny] Uh, well, nobody
really knows for sure,
but scientists believe that a
giant asteroid hit the earth
and sent it into an Ice Age,
causing the dinosaurs to perish.
- [Isaac] Why didn't
people die off too?
- [Lenny] Hm.
Excellent question.
People weren't really
in existence then.
Didn't come around until
millions of years later.
- Doesn't the Bible say that
Earth is like 4,000 years old?
- Uh, that's one train
of thought, but...
it's good to keep an open mind.
- Why doesn't the Bible
talk about dinosaurs?
Didn't God create
them too, Lenny?
- God created all life, son.
Can people be able to adapt
if another asteroid
hits the earth?
- Yeah.
Mankind always finds
a way to survive.
And it's Dad, not Lenny, okay?
(jazzy music)
- [Lenny] Is this it?
Tell me this is it.
- Take a look.
- Yes! Yes!
The Scott Webber
Jones exclusive!
- Nice goin', Ace.
- Yeah, way to go!
Rockies' 2007 run
of the World Series.
What book critic gets that, huh?
- [Coworker] Nice job, Lenny.
- Thanks a lot.
Thanks a lot. Yeah!
Hey, Henks.
I'll be back.
- Congratulations, Lenny,
on that Scott Webber
Jones exclusive.
- Thanks.
- I'm proud of you. Good work.
- Thanks. Thanks.
It was a long time comin'.
- Yeah.
The newspaper
business is changing.
People don't want to hold a
newspaper in their
hands anymore.
Young kids they...
they go online.
They have their
iPads, their iPhones,
and they get it for free.
Lenny...
they're shutting
down the newspaper.
We're all out of a job.
It's time for all
of us to move on.
Gonna have a lot of
free time on your hands.
Maybe it's time for you to write
that great American novel.
I'm sorry, kid.
(slow saxophone music)
(humming tunelessly)
- Ooh, little Iccy,
let's play with his iPad.
(boys laughing)
Ah! Ow!
- [Man] Hey! Leave him alone!
(Isaac humming tunelessly)
- It's really
getting out of hand.
You really need to help us.
He bit another kid in
the cafeteria last week.
And now he's biting me.
I mean, I know...
a child with Asperger's,
you don't get in
his personal space.
I mean, trust me,
for nine years,
I haven't hugged him since
he was a baby. (crying)
And I'm (choking back tears)...
I'm doing everything
right, but I just,
I can't, I feel like I'm
emotionally going crazy.
I'm up, I'm down--
- It sounds like it's...
perimenopause.
I have hot flashes at night.
- [Tracy] Yes.
- And I'm sweating...
- [Tracy] Yeah.
- And there's rage that starts
in the bottom of my feet.
It crawls up through my
shins, knees, thighs, pelvis,
out through my head.
I'm gonna give you my number.
I'm gonna take you
out for coffee.
Just a little
fellowship around this.
- Hold on, we're
talking about Isaac.
Can we get back on
track here, please?
Sorry, Doctor, but...
- No, of course.
- He went to a school,
he got thrown out.
We put him in another one,
and now it's about
to happen again.
We're kinda out of options.
- I mean...
you might want to
consider anti-depressants.
- Anti-depressants?
No, no, no. Hold on a second.
My kid is not going Zombieland.
I'm sorry. He's nine years old.
Trace, right?
- It might work.
(slow guitar music)
- You can tell the temperature
by how many times a cricket
chirps in one minute.
- That's nice, honey.
Have you thought anymore
about the anti-depressants?
- Hey. Let's...
not do this right now, okay?
- When do you want to it, Lenny?
We can't put this off anymore.
Don't touch that salt!
- You know, I was
going online today,
and I was looking at some more
natural, homeopathic
stuff, and so...
- Oh.
Well, we could wait
until we get another call
for a parent-teacher conference,
after he takes out another
kid's teeth with a toy truck.
- Hey, he didn't
mean it, all right?
Isaac, put the salt down.
- Well, you call the
Hatch family and tell them
that Isaac didn't mean it,
and that we want our
$500 deductible back.
- Trace, I need you to take
it easy on me today, okay?
Isaac, put the
salt down. Come on.
Give me the salt, will ya?
- Give Mommy the salt.
Give me the salt!
(sighs)
- Ahhh!
- I run around here like a
chicken with my head cut off.
I take him to his appointments.
I'm doing the cooking
and the cleaning,
and fixing the wall when he
decides to have a shit fit!
And you're up there in the 57th
floor writing book reviews!
- Well, you know what?
You know what?
You don't have to worry about
me up on the 57th floor,
writing my little
book reviews anymore.
You know why?
'Cause I lost my job today.
Yeah. That's right.
So, I got plenty of time
to fix all the walls,
if you want.
(romantic music)
- Hey, Max, seriously, come on.
- Please.
- Slowly but surely.
- [Tracy] (laughing)
Just like the prom.
- [Lenny] Here it goes.
Just like the prom, right?
You're my prom date
forever, I swear.
(melancholic music)
- Hey Trace, how ya doin'?
Uh, I just went on
two job interviews.
I got two more, but...
I'll be home in time
for dinner, okay?
Love you. See ya later.
Hey.
- Hey.
- Give me the whole thing.
- Have a good day.
(jazzy music)
(singing softly)
- Trying to find my girl.
Where is she?
Where's my girl?
My girl...
- [Tracy] (moaning)
Oh my god! Yes. Oh.
(laughing)
Oh shit.
- I-I didn't realize doctors
still made house calls.
- [Iris] Oh shit.
- Oh god
(pensive music)
- [Jack] Good morning, Leonard.
- Mornin', Pops.
- [Jack] So...
I was upstairs,
tryin' to get the Browns
to the Super Bowl...
- Ah, Dad, geez, come
on. Give me a break.
- [Jack] Don't worry
about it, I got 'em there.
- You're an animal.
- Aw, little buddy.
I'm sorry about Tracy.
You did not see that one coming.
Humph. Boy.
She sucker-punched you.
- Yeah, she did, Dad.
She really did.
But hey, I just
want to say thanks
for letting me stay
here, you know.
I really appreciate it.
I was kinda...
out of options, you know.
- Anytime. All the time.
Up and at 'em.
Your brother's on the
way over to cheer you up.
- Max is coming?
- [Jack] Yeah.
- All right, Pops. I'll
be right there. (groans)
(imitating horn blowing)
- What a brekkie,
brekkie, brekkie.
Here we go, pal.
Mm, mm, mm!
What?
Oh hell, just eat
the damn things.
- He doesn't like it
when two different types
of food are touching, Pops.
How's that? Better?
- I beat Jack in
chess in seven moves.
Seven, seven, seven!
- We get it Bobby Fischer.
We know you are good.
- [Max} Hey, hey!
- Hey, Maxi, how's it swingin'?
- Oh, long and low, Dad.
Long and low.
There you go, Lenny.
- Thanks, man.
- Look at ya, boy.
Lordy, you're wasting
away over there.
Isaac. Knucks.
- Show some class.
Don't drink out of the bottle.
God, you weren't
raised in a cave.
Don't act like it.
- Ah! Borrow that.
This looks good.
- [Lenny] Hey, hey,
hey, hey, come on.
Hey. Get your own, you savage.
Hey.
- [Jack] Hey, knock it off.
Take it outside before
you break a tile!
- [Voiceover] Good
morning, Denver.
Welcome to First
Take on Jazz 89 KUPO.
I'm Carlos Lando.
On your morning drive,
here's a blast from the past.
A local treasure.
Denver's own guitarist,
Landon Strait.
- [Driver] Comin', Mr. S?
- Angus, I'm, I'm not,
I'm not feeling well.
I'm a little bit dizzy.
I think I have to stay and
see a nurse or a doctor.
I'm sorry.
- Okay. Take it easy.
(jazzy music)
(chuckles)
- Fee-fi-fo-fum.
I don't need a hot damn gun.
- Jesus, Pop, what the hell.
- Chop up firewood.
You should try it.
It'll clear your head.
You know...
I was thinkin'.
Maybe you should come
down to the pawn shop,
work with me.
- That is so not
gonna happen, Dad.
- Aw, come on, Lenny.
- No way, that's
your gag, not mine.
- It'll be good for ya.
You'll make some money.
I mean, you've been holding
up here like a hermit.
You need get out for a change.
Meet some tail.
- Tail, huh?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, that's what
I need is tail.
I got Isaac.
I can't even go out, Dad.
- Aw, Lenny, you're divorced.
Come on.
Just til you find something new.
- Thanks, Dad. Thanks a lot.
I'm a writer.
That's what I do, okay.
I'm trying to write
my novel here.
- Come down to the
pawn shop sometime.
See a slice of life.
Lots of stories to be
written about down there.
You should try it.
- Yeah, right, Pop.
Over my dead body.
- [Jack] That can be arranged.
- Thanks for your help, Dad.
(graceful music)
- Lenny, I have to pee.
- Go ahead, Bud.
(graceful music)
locked door rattling)
- Did he fall in?
(door rattling)
What the hell?
(fretful music)
Isaac!
- 29...
(urinating)
30...
(urinating)
31--
- [Landon] Excuse me!
Young man!
Where...
where are we?
Huh?
- It's 72 degrees, Mister.
- [Landon] What?
- The crickets told me.
- Crickets?
- You can tell
the temperature by
how many times a cricket
chirps in one minute.
I timed them.
32 chirps in 14 seconds.
Then you add 40.
40 plus 32 equals 72 degrees.
I'm Isaac.
You look like Santa.
- Nice, nice to me ya, Isaac.
- Lenny says I'm not supposed
to talk to strangers.
- Lenny's right.
'Bout talking to strangers.
- Would you like to play chess?
- O-Okay.
- Isaac!
I swear, I'm gonna put
a leash on that kid.
Isaac!
(clicking and beeping)
- Check.
(beeping)
Checkmate.
I win.
- (chuckles) Well, that
was quick. (laughing)
See you around, kid.
- See ya, Santa.
- [Landon] No, no, I'm
going over that way.
- Isaac!
(breathing heavily)
What are you doing, Bud?
You almost gave
me a heart attack.
I've been looking
all over for ya.
- Lenny, I met Santa.
- Dad, okay? Not Lenny.
What are you
talking about Santa?
I don't care if you
met the President.
I told you not to talk
to strangers, Bud.
- I had to pee.
Santa was peeing too.
I was counting the crickets.
- Listen.
You can't just go running
around like this, okay?
There's plenty of time to
do that when you're 18.
(sighs) Give me a hug.
- Ah!
- All right. All right.
Sorry.
I forgot the rules. (sighs)
What the hell am I
gonna do with this kid?
(tongue clicking)
(rock music)
(Isaac laughing)
(crashing)
(imitating engine revving)
- Hey, hey, no, no, hey.
Don't grab that, Bud.
Hey. Let me see that.
Look.
This is nothing but high
fructose corn syrup.
Don't, don't have that.
Here, have--
- [Isaac] I want grape!
- No, put this one back.
- I don't want that grape!
I want this grape!
- This is grape, okay?
Look, it's grape. It
comes from a tree--
- No! I want this grape!
- No, here, Bud--
- I want this grape!
- Listen, give me that.
Give me the grape!
Give me the grape!
- [Isaac] Ahh!
- (gasps) Oh! Ha ha ha!
(laughing)
Ahh! Ha ha!
Don't do it, don't do it!
- What happened to you?
What, did you run over
Barney the dinosaur?
- Um. We had a little incident.
At the grocery store.
- And you didn't
change his shirt?
- Trace, it's not like
I had an extra shirt
in my money clip.
Plus, he's home.
He's got a hundred
of 'em upstairs.
- All right. Well, come on.
Let's get you cleaned up.
Let's go.
So laxadaisical.
- Lackadaisical.
- Really?
Come on.
- How ya doin', Trace?
- I'm good, Lenny.
I'm good. Yeah.
How are you?
- I'm, I'm good.
Yeah, we should, uh, you know...
go for coffee or
something, sometime.
- Coffee?
- Yeah, you know, like
you and me, without...
all this. (chuckles)
- Hey, Lenny, how are ya?
- Hey, Iris. How ya doin'?
- What (laughs)
happened to your shirt?
- Uh, take a wild guess.
Little man, huh?
What's this?
- [Tracy] It's a throw pillow.
- Sweet.
It works.
- Your son made that.
- I'm learning to sew.
- Oh, that's great.
Yeah, that's great.
I betcha that's a real hit
with his classmates, huh?
- Lenny...
I know you're angry,
buddy, but listen.
I think you're angry at me
and Tracy and this situation,
but I, it's not Isaac.
- I'm just trying to
look out for my son.
Somebody's got to--
- What does that mean?
- W-What does that mean?
I just don't want to see
him get beat up, that's all.
He can save it for
his first marriage.
- Oh, grow up, Lenny.
- Grow up?
S-Seriously, like, what do
you guys think you've done
playing house over here?
I don't know.
What, do you just
wake up one morning,
and all of a sudden, you
just decide that you're gay?
- [Both] You don't
decide you're gay!
- Look what I made, Lenny.
- We're getting married.
- We are?
- Well, we are.
- I am so happy you
reconsidered coming back.
It's gonna be good for you.
Who knows, maybe it will help
you write that damn book.
- Yeah, maybe, Pop.
- Yeah.
- [Lenny] Maybe.
- Now, business.
Whatever something is worth,
you pay 10 percent.
If it's worth a dollar,
you pay a dime.
Unless it's stolen.
Then you pay even less.
Remember who we're dealing with.
Thieves, addicts, and crooks.
Yeah.
Three magic words...
- [Both] Trust no one.
- There you go.
- I know, Pop.
I remember.
You've been telling me
since I was like five.
(door opening)
(whooshing)
- Okay, we have
sold these before.
But they sit a long time.
- Where'd you get this thing?
- We don't ask you
guys too many questions
about where you get
all this stuff from.
Listen, I need to get
100 bucks for this.
- I'm sorry, what?
- I need to get
100 bucks for this.
And I gotta be somewhere
so can we do this quick, please?
- (chuckles) We'll give you 20.
- 20's not gonna help me.
Listen, I got alimony,
I got child support times three.
The Broncos can't
cover its damn spread.
Could you throw me
100 bucks for it?
- We'll give 20.
- All right. Enough for a
couple scratch-off tickets.
I'll take the 20 bucks.
(door opening)
(whooshing)
(door opening)
(whooshing)
(door opening)
(whooshing)
(laughing)
(door opening)
(whooshing)
(whooshing)
(cash rustling)
(door opening)
(whooshing)
(dog whimpering)
(whooshing)
(twinkling music)
(rock music)
(motorcycle engine rumbling)
- Listen to me for a
minute, okay? Please.
We, we need to sit
down and talk--
No, no...
It, Trace, don't--
- Tracy isn't natural.
That no good...
the nerve of that
clam-diving ex-wife of yours.
- Personally, I'm
allergic to shellfish.
(drum beating)
(laughing)
Hi.
I need a loan.
How much can I borrow
against this guitar
as collateral?
- Um...
Well...
Um...
- Check the serial numbers.
- Right.
Um.
How much do you need?
- 1500.
- Um...
900.
- Ha ha! He's funny.
You realize that's like
offering me 900 for a...
Ferrari. Right?
Is this guy for real?
- Uh, you know.
The kids, they just want to play
the latest, greatest
factory crap.
And you know, the
economy's bad so--
- Okay, so what are
we thinkin' here?
Ballpark.
- 950.
- Really?
- That's it. That's
the best we can do.
- Fine.
Sure. 950.
- All right.
Let me see some ID.
Here you go.
Sign on the red "X" and "X",
fill out the top,
and right here,
you understand that over
the next 30 days, right?
- Yeah, yeah. I get it.
Basically, you own me.
- With interest.
- Perfect! With interest.
(sighs)
Oh.
Hello.
- Why do you have these
weird paintings on your arms?
- Isaac.
- No, no. It's okay.
You mean my tattoo?
This is Athena.
Goddess of war.
Nice to meet you, Isaac.
I'm Chelsea.
- Cool.
Can I get a tattoo?
- [Lenny] Forget about it, Bud.
Not gonna happen.
- All right.
I will see you in 30
days to pick up my baby.
Take good care of her.
Thanks, Rookie.
- I told you you'd meet all
kinds down here, Rookie.
(rock music)
- Yeah, man. I mean, I'm
doing great, you know.
Coaching the kids
has been awesome.
It just brings everything
sort of full circle for me.
When the doc told me there'd
be no pros, you know.
That was tough, and I had to
come to terms with that but...
Now, it's like, I get to teach
the kids and pass the torch.
It's all good.
- I'm proud of you, man.
- Thank you.
How about you, man?
I know you've had kind
of a rough ride, lately.
- That I have.
Tracy's getting married, bro.
- What?
I thought she was playing
licka-lotta-puss with the doc?
- She is.
- Are you kidding me, man?
You telling me your wife
is getting more pussy than you?
That is ironic.
- Just explain
this to me, right?
One day I got a perfect job,
I've got a great wife and a kid,
and then...
(sighs) I don't know.
I'm living in my
dad's basement and...
I feel like I'm in an
episode of My Two Moms.
- I know, man, I hear ya.
I feel bad. I really do.
But you gotta get up, get
out, do something, you know?
You're gonna explode otherwise.
- We're catholic. We're
supposed to feel miserable.
(laughing)
- Yeah.
But first, you
gotta feel guilty.
- All right.
(fast-paced guitar music)
- Len, see?
This is why they
call it Happy Hour.
There are girls everywhere,
just for the taking.
Hi.
We need to get you one of those.
As a rebound, okay?
She can lick your wounds,
maybe even lick your
balls, you know?
It's a simple
mathematical equation.
- Yeah, you failed math.
- But I always aced
the lab practical.
See that look they gave?
That they're still
ridiculously giving?
That, plus me going over there,
that equals digits.
(blues music)
- Because she's blindfolded,
she hears this...
beating of the wings,
and cupid flies down and--
(clattering)
(gasping)
(distant dog barking)
Did you hear that?
- Someone's trying to break in.
- Oh my god.
Go see who it is.
- Me?
Thanks a lot.
- Well...
Do you have a bat?
- In the basement.
We have a chainsaw
in the garage.
- Well, that's no good.
- Oh my god.
- [Iris] Here.
- What the hell is that? What...
what the hell are you doing?
Put that away
before you kill me.
I'm gonna take the lamp.
- [Iris] The lamp
is a good idea.
Okay. Okay.
(grunting)
Yeah, that's good.
- Or I could go like
this. (grunting)
- [Iris] Okay.
- Okay.
- [Iris] Okay.
- Come on.
(distant dog barking)
(lighthearted suspenseful music)
(thumping)
(thudding)
- [Tracy] Ah!
Lenny!
- Ahh!
- Ah, you hit me
right in the ear.
- Oh, for god's sake, Lenny!
- [Tracy] (sighs) What
are you doing here?
- I don't know.
I was curious.
- Curious?
What do you mean?
You thought there'd be an orgy?
- I don't know.
I didn't think that far ahead.
- You know what?
I'm going to bed.
You two probably need to talk.
Just, before I go to bed,
is there a chainsaw
in the garage?
- Yeah.
- Well, I would like
to know how to use it.
For next time.
- Iris, don't play
with my tools.
- Goodnight.
- (sighs) Lenny,
what's going on?
- I'm lonely.
I miss you.
- Come here. Give me a hug.
You gotta let go.
No, I mean, Lenny, you
gotta let go right now.
Let go.
- Oh.
Oh. Okay.
(sighs)
(hard rock music)
* I know you, honey
* I know that you
were born to lose
* It's all right, sugar
* You know that I was too
- Hey.
I didn't think vampires
got up this early.
What's up?
- Flyers, they actually
look pretty good.
- Yeah, they do, huh?
Nice job.
Perfect.
- Wichita to Orlando.
1,339 miles.
- Really?
Okay. Well, explain to
me how we're gonna get
the gear and the band
all the way over there.
- We're gonna sell the merch.
The t-shirts, the CDs.
We'll get there.
Don't worry about it.
- I don't know.
I got the numbers right here,
and it just doesn't add up.
It's impossible.
- Why are you in such a hurry
to get home anyway, huh?
Chels, you move pretty fast.
I mean, we just broke
up a month ago, okay?
- God, Fang.
- Come on.
Who knows you better
than Fang, huh?
- You gotta stop saying that.
'Kay. So, I'm gonna go
start hanging these flyers
so we have more than five
people at our first show
and enough cash to get
us out of Denver, yeah?
And if you would've
kept your dick
in your pants in
the first place,
we wouldn't be having
this conversation.
- Chels, it was
the jager, come on.
(car pulling up)
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.
Come on, kiddo, here we are.
- What's up, Bud?
- Ah, boy. Thanks for
watching him tonight.
Iris and I have a reservation
at 6:30 at the Chop House.
That's the earliest and the
latest they could book us.
- Oh. Chop House, huh?
That's hoity-toity.
(motorcycle approaching)
- Hi, Chelsea!
- Hey, buddy.
Brought you something.
- Who's that?
- Uh, just...
just a girl that was in
the shop the other day.
- Here. Give me your arm.
All right. I need
you to lick this.
Don't freak out.
Perfect.
Wait.
Yeah! See?
Now we match.
Kinda.
- [Isaac] What's this?
- It's a band.
It's called The Equilibrium.
- Are they your favorite?
- Yeah, you could say that.
Here.
Take one of these.
- Thanks, Chelsea.
- You're welcome.
- Look, Mom! I got a tattoo!
- Great.
Now you have a tattoo.
Are you sure your
dad's around tonight?
- Yeah, he's around.
We got it covered, Trace.
- Thanks. I appreciate it.
- Make sure you girls
are home by nine.
- Okay.
(car driving off)
- I can help you with that.
- What?
- I can help you
get your wife back.
- (laughs) What are
you talkin' about?
- My...
services,
if you forgive the
debt on my guitar.
Even trade.
- (chuckles) You're crazy.
- Am I?
- I'm serious.
Shake on it.
- Deal.
- [Chelsea] This is one of
my favorite go-to spots.
We're gonna get you
some fresh new duds.
- [Lenny] Fresh new duds, huh?
- Well. Gently used duds.
Okay.
- Chelsea, that's a nice name.
Where'd that come from?
- Well, thank you.
I'm actually named after the
Chelsea Hotel in New York,
believe it or not.
- Really?
- You know where that is? No?
That's where all the classic
staples in rock started.
Uh, Janis Joplin, Iggy
Pop, Sid Vicious...
Ugh.
- Is this good? No?
- No.
My dad played on that
stage, once upon a time.
- Really? He jammed
with the Sex Pistols?
- No, silly. (laughs)
But that's where he met
my mom, and, you know...
the rest is history, right?
- Oh, so that's where
you get the music gene.
What about this?
(laughing)
No?
- Walker, Texas Ranger.
(laughing)
So, tell me about yourself.
I don't know anything about you,
other than you work in
your dad's pawn shop.
- Um. Well, I'm a book
critic for the newspaper.
- Oh, you are?
- Yeah.
- [Chelsea] No way.
- This isn't better?
No?
- So, you have the
creative gene too.
- Yeah, well...
the newspaper closed
and now I'm just
an out of work writer.
- Oh. Well, shouldn't
you be doing
what all unemployed writers do?
Write your memoir of
your life, or something?
- Yeah, it's funny
you should say that.
I've been trying
to write a book,
but I've been a little stuck.
I like this one.
- [Chelsea] What
size are your feet?
- Uh, 11.
- [Chelsea] 11. Nope.
- Yep.
- These are great.
(funky music)
(approaching footsteps)
Ow.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
Oh.
- [Lenny] I can't do this.
I can't do this.
- What do you mean
you can't do this?
- I-I-I, uh, I'm not
ready to go in there.
I haven't been on a
date in like 15 years.
- Rookie? Hello.
This is exactly why
this is gonna work.
The best way to make
a woman jealous is
to have a different
one on your arm.
It's the oldest
trick in the book.
The only way this
isn't gonna work
if you don't go in
there confident.
You know what you are?
- What?
- An 11.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- All right. Come on.
Let's go.
I look good?
- Yeah.
- All right.
(indistinct conversation)
Hey.
Iris, Tracy. How's it goin'?
- [Iris] Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi. Oh, uh, this
is my date, Chelsea.
- Hi.
Chelsea. Pleasure.
Hey.
- [Iris] Hi.
- Nice to meet ya.
- Beautiful.
- Thank you. (chuckles)
Oh. Do you know where
the restroom is?
I gotta shake the
dew off the lily.
- Um...
yeah, I think it's
right where we came in.
Over by the maitre d'.
- Perfect. Thanks.
Um...
I'm gonna go grab a
drink over by the bar.
- [Iris] She's 20.
- [Tracy] What's he doing?
(dialing phone)
(ringing)
- Dr. Iris, we need you
back in the ER, immediately.
There's been a
horrific bus accident.
An entire marching band collided
with a semi hauling gas.
There's bodies and blood and...
batons everywhere.
A horrible mess.
- Honey, I'm so sorry.
I have to go back there.
There's some kind of emergency.
Please, please forgive me.
- Now?
- I'm so sorry, honey.
I will make it up to you.
I love you. (smooches)
I love you. I love you.
I'll see you back home.
Just take a cab home.
- Okay.
(indistinct conversations)
(exhales)
- Don't...
- What happened?
- Well, no, Iris had
to go to the hospital.
What else is new.
She told me to take a cab home.
- Come on. Seriously?
I-I'll give you a
ride home, Trace.
- No, no, no, no.
You have a, have a--
- No, no, no, seriously.
I'll, I'll tell my
date to take a cab.
- You have to babysit. No.
- Come on.
(slow music)
(moaning)
- [Tracy] Lenny!
- [Lenny] What? Huh?
- [Tracy] Relax.
- [Lenny] I'm okay.
- [Tracy] You know what?
Let me just get
on top, all right?
Just let me get on top.
- [Lenny] Okay.
- [Tracy] All right.
- [Lenny] All right.
Yeah, get on top.
Okay. Here we go.
- [Tracy] All right.
Let me just...(grunting)
- Yeah, how's that?
Is that pretty good?
What?
(Tracy groans)
What?
- Oh, god. (sighs)
- What?
What's the matter?
Trace?
- (sighs) Oh, god.
- What's wrong?
- Mm. This isn't good.
Father, what I'm
about to ask you
is probably a complete
impossibility.
You know that Lenny
and I are now divorced.
It's not because
I don't love him.
It's because I
wasn't being myself.
So, uh,
here it goes.
I have fallen in love.
Actually, I've been in
love for a while now.
Her name is Iris.
And we're ready for
a deeper commitment.
Only the kind of
commitment that we want
is considered blasphemous
by the church.
But you know me, Father David,
and I know you want
me to be happy.
And I know God wants
to see us all happy.
So, how?
How can you deny
us this happiness?
Please, isn't there some way
that you can make this happen?
Will you marry us?
- Do you realize what
you just asked me to do?
(phone beeps)
- Oh.
- I don't really
know where to start.
I've been really
confused, Lenny, lately.
So confused. Um...
- Here. Have some of this.
Take the edge off.
- All right, let me cut right
to the chase. (clinks glasses)
The other night was a mistake.
- What do you mean
it was a mistake?
- I mean, it's not your fault.
I was, I was, you know...
tipsy,
and I was angry at Iris,
and you'd walked in
with that girl, and...
you know, I-I shouldn't have,
I shouldn't have
taken that out on you.
I just--
- We're supposed to be together.
We need to be
together for Isaac.
- I know he needs us.
He has us.
But I have to be
the person I love.
- You don't love me anymore?
- No. I love you.
Of course, Lenny.
Just not in love
with you, anymore.
(sighs)
You know, we set a
date for the wedding.
It's in two weeks,
and we'd love you to be there.
- No way that's gonna happen.
- Oh.
- [Lenny] See ya later.
Father David?
- Lenny. Come on in.
- Is this a bad time?
- No. No, no. It's
always a good time.
I was just prepping a
little bit for today's mass.
What's up?
- Um.
It's Tracy.
She's gettin' remarried.
To Iris.
- I know, Lenny.
They've uh...
They asked me to do the wedding.
- What?
What, what do you mean they
asked you to do the wedding?
I mean, the church
won't allow that.
- I know.
It's not as though the two
forces exactly align, do they?
- No, no, no.
You gotta talk some
sense into her.
Y-You...
You can't let her do this.
I mean, you gotta help me
get my family back, Father.
- Lenny, I hate to be the
one to disappoint you.
- No, no, no. You
gotta stop her.
You gotta stop her.
You can't let this happen.
Father, she's
gonna burn in hell.
- I think that's
up to God, Lenny.
I know this seems
totally foreign to you.
It's not what we've been taught.
But God teaches us acceptance.
And maybe,
just maybe,
that's something you've
got to come to terms with.
(slow acoustic music)
(door opening)
- Hey.
I came to collect on our deal.
- Deal was I'd get my wife back.
Plan didn't work so,
deal's off.
- Hey, I took care of
my end of the bargain.
I want my guitar back.
- Things didn't work out
the way you promised, okay?
So, forget it.
- Promised?
I did what I was supposed to do.
The deal was...
you wanted me to get you
back in bed with your wife.
So I did.
Just 'cause you
couldn't seal the deal,
or whatever the heck went down,
not my problem.
Now, give me my guitar.
Wow.
I was wrong about you, Rookie.
I thought you were
a man of your word.
Guess I was wrong.
(door opening and closing)
(sighs)
- Hey!
Hey!
You forgot somethin'.
- What's this, Rookie?
Change of heart?
- A deal's a deal, right?
- Yeah, that's right.
A deal is a deal.
This on?
- Yeah. Thanks.
Oh. Yes.
Perfect.
Thanks.
She means a lot.
- You're welcome.
I'll uh, see you later?
- Hey! Rookie!
Hey, um...
you know what?
There's this band
playing tomorrow night.
I don't know if you're into
that kinda thing but...
they're supposed
to be pretty good.
- [Lenny] Yeah?
- Yeah.
- I'll think about it.
Okay?
- The details are on the flyer.
- Right.
- Watch where
you're going, 'Tard.
- Ahh!
- Ahh!
God, I can't believe it.
I mean, one minute he's there,
and the next minute he's gone!
- Calm down, Trace.
- He was just at
school, and he just,
don't tell me to calm down!
My god!
We gotta put a GPS on this kid.
I mean, and the police,
they won't make a report
for 24 hours!
Can you believe it?
- I know. It's ridiculous.
- 24 hours!
God, and I've been
trying to call Iris,
and I don't know where she is.
- You should call me first.
I'm his Dad, remember?
You know what?
I think I might have
an idea where he is.
Come on.
(beeping)
- Check.
(beeping)
Checkmate. I win.
You used the same moves
as you did before.
- I-I'm sorry.
What did you say your name was?
Lately, I can't
remember (chuckles)
what I had for breakfast, but...
I can still remember...
things that happened to
me when I was a young man.
- That must've been
a long time ago.
- It was.
Be thankful that you're
still a young man.
These golden years,
they're not so golden.
You get to be my age, it's,
it's hard to remember.
(laughs) I'd forget my
head if it wasn't attached.
- Lenny says I have a
photographic memory.
- Well, see, you're lucky.
That way, when
everything else goes,
you'll still have your memories.
- So, what do you remember then?
- Well, uh...
(guitar strumming)
the day I met my wife.
The red dress she was wearing.
The color of her eyes,
green like emeralds.
And our first kiss.
The very moment my
daughter was born.
That, that was the
day my world changed.
These things, a
man never forgets.
See?
- [Isaac] Who's that?
- [Landon] That's me.
- [Isaac] No, it's not.
- Oh yes, it is. Really.
Believe it or not,
at one time, I was a kid.
Just like you.
Well...
- Why's your watch on a chain?
'Cause you won't lose it?
- No, no. That's just the
way they use to make 'em.
It's called a pocket-watch.
It's old-fashioned.
Just like me.
- [Isaac] I need one
to time the crickets.
- Well, you do? Well...
here.
Take mine.
Consider it a gift from Santa.
- Lenny says I'm not allowed
to take gifts from strangers.
- No, please. Take it.
It'll make me feel better. Here.
- If you say so.
- Nice?
Well, that's why they
call me Santa. (chuckles)
Well, hey.
I gotta, I gotta go, kid.
I gotta gig.
- What's a gig?
- A gig is when a musician,
uh, plays in front
of an audience.
- Well. Thanks for
the watch, Santa.
- Sure thing, Kiddo.
Bye bye.
(tender acoustic music)
- Ah.
Isaac.
- Oh my god!
Isaac!
Where were you?
- Buddy.
What's this?
Where'd you get that?
- Santa gave it to me.
- Again with the Santa thing.
What...(sighs)
- You know, he was
really upset this morning
about something.
And he would not talk about it.
I think it's that kid.
That little prick,
Brett, at school.
- Yeah, that kid's a punk.
- Oh honey, I'm so sorry.
My phone was turned off.
I was with patients all morning.
I...
Hey, Buddy.
I like your watch.
Thanks for pinch-hitting, Lenny.
- Yeah, sure, it's...
it's what I do.
- Lenny, were you
a kid at one time?
- Yeah. Yeah, a long time ago.
Why?
- So, that means
Santa was a kid, too?
Right?
- Um...
yeah.
Yeah, I guess.
Why do you ask?
- Since Santa gave
me this watch,
I've been thinking
more about time.
- Oh yeah? What about it?
- Well, seconds
tick by pretty fast.
Then they turn into minutes,
then hours,
then days.
There are important days
that only come around
once a year.
Like Christmas and birthdays.
We only get so many of them.
Like a bag of candy.
It's good to cherish each bite.
'Cause who knows how many
pieces you'll have left.
- You got all that
out of a watch?
(guitar strumming)
- I don't know, man. (sighs)
I thought I got her back,
got her to switch teams, but...
I think I failed, man.
- If we're gonna move forward,
we must learn to let go of
the things we cannot change.
And you, my friend, cannot
change the way Tracy feels.
So, I'm thinking Dad was right.
You need to just let it go,
and open yourself up to
some new possibilities.
- Yeah, I know I
probably should.
I'm just, uh...
Dude. Dude.
What the hell, man? (laughs)
- (laughs) Just tryin'
to lighten you up, man.
- You know what?
- [Max] What?
- This girl came
in the other day,
said there's a band
playing tonight.
- A band.
Nice.
- Dude.
How many of these did
you put on me, man?
- Oh, let's see.
Maybe 47? (laughs)
(rock music)
(motorcycle engines idling)
Kinda feels like
we might as well of
rolled up on one of these, huh?
* Crazy days, they
shook your love
* A big hand is gonna crush ya
* Well, you mind is racing
and your body's weak
* Destination's lookin' bleak
* Oh baby
- Sorry.
(loud rock music)
- Wow, these guys are bad-ass!
- Yeah. Right?
Dude, that's Chelsea!
(crowd cheering and applauding)
(hard rock music)
(loud rock music)
(loud cheering and yelling)
- We are Equil...
- [Crowd] Librium!
- Equil!
- [Crowd] Librium!
- Equil!
- [Crowd] Librium!
(cheering and clapping)
Thank you so much!
(indistinct yelling)
Miss Chelsea Strait!
(crowd cheering)
Over here on guitar,
we got Stevie Shred!
(cheering)
I am Fang!
(cheering and screaming)
We hope we will see you at
Herman's tomorrow night!
Peace out!
(yelling and cheering)
- Wow.
- I thought she was really good.
- Hey. Rookie?
You made it.
- Hey.
How you doin'?
- I'm well.
I didn't think you'd show.
- Well, I did.
And, uh, that was awesome.
I didn't realize
this was your band.
I thought I was
going to see a band.
But you're...
you're an amazing drummer.
- Thanks.
- [Lenny] It's cool.
- Keeps my crazy to a minimum.
Know what I mean?
- Yeah, you were awesome.
Seriously, you killed it.
I'm, uh, Max, his brother.
He's not gonna introduce me.
He's gonna forget.
- Chelsea.
- You guys want a drink?
I'll go grab a waitress.
- [Chelsea] Yeah.
- Yes.
- Thanks again, so
much, for coming.
Um...
Listen, I'd love to sit here
and chat with you some more,
but these guys want
us out of here.
I've gotta break down my kit.
But do you wanna
go so where later?
- Oh my god. He would so
totally love to do that.
I need to leave and get up
early, so I'm gonna be gone,
but you guys hang out.
Chelsea, it was
great to meet you.
Thanks a lot for the show.
You guys did a great job.
Let me know if you
have another gig,
or if you have a sister, or
friends, or you know, two.
(stuttering) Thanks.
(laughing)
- He's funny.
- He is funny.
- So...
yes, no?
- I'd love to.
- I know the perfect place.
(lovely romantic music)
(lovely romantic music)
(thudding)
(lovely romantic music)
- Hey.
Mornin'.
- Good afternoon, actually.
Coffee?
- Yeah, sure.
What the hell have I
gotten myself into?
- (sighs) Coffee's ready.
- Thanks.
What's this?
Going somewhere?
- No.
I had to move my dad
into a home last week.
- Sorry.
- Yeah.
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
I just can't believe
I chased my wife
into the arms of another woman.
- Well, legs.
Technically speaking.
(laughs) Sorry.
That was too easy.
But hey, on the upshot, at
least you got an upgrade.
- Yeah. That's true.
- Uh. I'm starving.
You want to go grab some
breakfast down the road?
- Can't.
I gotta work.
- Oh.
Well, just call in sick.
It's your dad.
It's not like he's
gonna fire you.
- I can't just call in
sick, Chelsea, okay?
I've got a job.
- Well, what are
you up to later?
What time are you off?
- I got Isaac tonight.
- Perfect.
I'm playing a show
at Herman's at 7:30,
and the kid's never
seen a live band.
He'd go wild for
something like that.
- Chelsea, I can't just
go cruisin' around town,
watching music, head-bangin',
riding motorcycles all
over the place, okay?
I can't do it.
- Well, didn't you
feel alive yesterday?
- Yeah. I did.
For the first time in years.
- 'Kay. Then what's the problem?
- I have a kid, okay?
With special needs.
- Yeah, and he's a great kid.
So what?
You've got some shit. So do I.
Lenny, I like the
shit that's going on.
'Cause you know why?
I like you.
- I like you too.
I do, Chelse.
But I'm 20 years older than you.
And you just haven't
lived long enough yet
to know what life is all about.
- Okay. Whoa, whoa.
Let me get one thing
straight, okay?
I basically show
you the best time
that you've had
in, I don't know,
how long has your life
been boring, Lenny?
Five years?
Been hangin' out with me.
Telling me that "Oh, I'm
different" or whatever.
You come back here,
you fuck the shit out of me,
and now all of
sudden, you're just,
you're done?
Yeah, sure, maybe
I haven't lived
as long as you have, Lenny,
but I'm old enough to know that
you're being an asshole,
just like every other man
that's come into my life!
You want me to give
you some advice?
Why don't you
fight for something
that's worth fighting for?
- Like what?
- Like me.
- You know what?
I gotta get back to my life.
- You know what? Screw you.
(brooding music)
(thudding)
- Allosaurus,
stegosaurus, plateosaurus.
- Who you talking to, Is-ick?
Ike the dike.
Why don't you introduce us to
your little invisible friends?
I asked you a question.
- You asked me two
questions, actually.
- What'd you say?
- [Isaac] Three questions.
- Look, you little fairy,
you tryin' to mess with me?
- Four questions.
- [Brett] I'll give you
the beating of your life,
you retarded,
laxadaisical little--
- It's lackadaisical!
Lackadaisical!
There's no "X"!
(ripping)
Ahh!
(thudding)
Ahh!
Ah! Ah! Ah!
(thudding and thumping)
(blowing and razzing)
- What the hell, Pop?
Come on.
- Somebody pawned this thing.
I am now the proud
owner of a didgeri-doo.
What the hell happened to you?
- Fang.
- What's a Fang?
- Chelsea's ex-boyfriend,
or whatever the hell he is.
He gave me a sucker shot, Pops.
(phone ringing)
Hey, Trace.
What?
Alright, what the hell happened?
- He ripped my
allosaurus in half.
- Why did he do that?
- I corrected his English.
- Well, you shouldn't
do that, Isaac.
People don't like that.
- [Isaac] You
correct my English.
- I, it's different, okay?
I'm your father.
Isaac, you can't just go around
beating up kids in your class!
- He's not in my class.
- What am I gonna
do with you, Isaac?
Seriously.
Put you on anti-depressants
to mellow you out, or what?
You're a pain in my ass, Isaac!
A pain in my ass!
(tires screeching to a halt)
- Ah! Ahh! Ahh!
- [Lenny] Let's go.
(Isaac yelling)
(doorbell ringing)
(knocking)
Tracy!
- Lenny.
What's going on? What happened?
- [Lenny] Where's Tracy?
- She's not here.
What, what do you need?
- What do I need?
I need my wife, right now.
That's what I need.
Oh, or, I'm sorry, your wife.
Or, whoever's wife
she is, right now.
- I thought you had
Isaac until tomorrow.
- I do, okay?
But I need you
take him right now.
- Isaac, why don't
you go inside, and,
and take a shower.
- Okay, you need to calm down.
- Oh, I need to calm down?
I need to calm down?
I think I've been
pretty calm through
this whole thing, Iris.
Real calm!
Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
While I'm trying to raise
this impossible kid,
I come home and I
find the two of ya
muff-bumping in my bed!
That's right. So, you know what?
So, you've got it
all figured out?
You take this kid for awhile!
- What is your problem?
We have moved beyond this.
We have to support one another.
- Support one another. (laughs)
Support one another? (laughs)
This is just a ridiculous
fling for her, Iris.
Yeah.
When she wakes up from
this misguided dream,
she's gonna dump your ass.
That's right.
And she's gonna come back to me!
I'm the father of her child!
- [Iris] Unbelievable!
- [Lenny] That's right.
- Unbelievable!
- Oh yeah? Unbelievable, huh?
(door slams)
Yeah. Have fun!
Have fun in my house, Iris!
That's right!
The house that I paid for, Iris!
(phone ringing)
- Hey, Dad.
How ya doin' today?
- I'm doing just
fine, young lady.
- You brought a...
guitar.
- Yeah.
It's your guitar, Dad.
You gave it to me after
you stopped touring.
I thought I'd bring
it back to you
so you'd have something
to do to pass the time
while I'm gone.
I'm going out of town for a bit.
- Oh yeah?
Wh-Where you goin'?
- I'm going on a
tour with my band.
Just like you did.
- Well, that sounds exciting.
Uh, tour the world
for inspiration,
meet new people, see new places.
You know, you know
what you should do?
You, you should
go see the Louvre.
For inspirations.
- I know.
You took me there
when I was nine.
- Where did I meet you before?
- Um...
sorry.
The past couple of years
have been really tough on me.
Because you're
here, but you're...
not.
Anyway, I don't want
you to worry about me.
I'm gonna be fine, 'kay?
(sighs) I love you.
I know I'm gonna be seeing
you again real soon.
I-I'm just...
I'm just afraid that
when I get back,
I might've already lost you.
- Well. Goodbye.
Tell me your name again, honey.
I-I'm so forgetful,
it's...(laughs)
I'm sorry.
- Chelsea.
My name is Chelsea.
I'm your daughter.
- [Landon] Chelsea.
(woeful acoustic music)
- Genius. Genius
draws no color line.
And so it is fitting,
that Marian Anderson
should raise her voice
in tribute to the noble Lincoln,
whom mankind will ever honor.
* My country tis of thee
* Sweet land of liberty
* Of thee we sing
* Land where my fathers died
* Land of the Pilgrim's pride
* From every mountain side
* Let freedom ring
(romantic music)
(wedding video playing)
- No, no, no.
Uh uh.
We're not gonna let
you be this guy.
What's going on?
- I thought we were gonna
be together forever.
(Max sighs)
(shuts off computer)
- What happened to your eye?
- Oh, this...
this dude, Fang, punched me out.
Chelsea's ex-boyfriend,
or whatever.
- Oops.
Rookie maneuver.
- Humph. Yeah, that's what
Chelsea used to call me.
- Ha, ha. Yeah.
That girl's a pistol.
What do you mean she "used to"?
- I don't know.
It's all messed up.
I'm mean, she's...
she's young, and
I gotta go through
her ex-boyfriend
to get to her.
It's all just
happening too fast.
And I don't think
I'm ready for this.
- Seriously?
Len, your life is
in way better shape
than you keep thinking it is.
Isaac is an awesome kid.
You got Tracy, and Iris
now, to take care of him
when you go off and
write your book,
or whatever you're
gonna do with your life.
You got the whole
world ahead of you.
(sighs) I gotta be honest, Len.
You're my brother,
and I love you, but...
(gulps) I hardly even
recognize you these days.
Only time I've even
seen you crack a smile
in the last few months is when
you were watching
Chelsea play drums.
- (laughs) Yeah?
- Yeah.
If you had half a
brain, you'd go find her
and sort shit out with her.
She makes you happy.
Who cares how old she is?
- I don't know, Mr.
Bachelor-of-the-Year.
You'll see.
You'll have a family
of your own, and a kid.
- We gotta gear
you up for a fight.
Come on, man.
Let's get the fight back in ya.
Len, you've been
stuck in this struggle
for the last couple
of months, you know.
And mixed martial arts?
It's all about just
getting comfortable
in the midst of that struggle.
You learn to roll
with the punches.
You accept what
you can't change.
And you move on when you can.
- Okay.
I-I just...
I'm just trying to
get my life back, Max.
- I hear you, man. I know.
It's the fight of
your life, bro.
(intense music)
(thudding and thumping)
(intense music)
(indistinct coaching)
- [Max] Pull him into
a clinch, right here.
All right?
Calm it down.
Just settle things down
until it's your game.
(thudding and grunting)
Use your knees, like this.
(thudding)
Cover up, cover up.
That's not comfortable, is it?
Fight out of it.
Fight out of it.
Come on.
(intense music)
There you go, there you go.
Good job.
Good work.
- Welcome to God's house, Lenny.
Nature.
Stillness.
I've done some of
my best thinking,
walking around this lake.
Butting my head up against
some of the deepest
mysteries in life.
- Still can't believe
you left the church.
- Well, I (chuckles)
didn't really leave.
I just kinda changed
seats, you know?
Lenny, I've always
thought of God
as the most freeing of things.
Boy, look how man
has organized Him.
Shaped Him into what they need.
I was taught by the Jesuits
to always question my faith.
Question.
Challenge it.
You challenge it,
you become stronger
in that faith.
Though you will change.
(birds cawing)
(laughing)
- And you changed, huh?
- Well...
I adapted.
This is what I've
come to terms with.
I think over time,
I'll come back and
look at this issue.
Much like we did the civil
rights issues of the 1960's.
Embracing change takes
forward thinking.
And I know it's tough
for you, right now.
And you...
you've got a storm that
is raging all around you.
But, let me tell you something.
You look out there
into the calm,
into the stillness,
and more often than not,
you will find your answer.
I want you to trust yourself.
'Cause I don't think your
spirit will ever be at peace
until you learn to accept
Tracy for who she is.
More importantly, accept
yourself for who you are.
(pensive music)
Come to the wedding.
She really needs you.
- Hey, Len. Here's the keys.
Just put his stuff in my car.
Isaac, I'll see
ya after the game.
Okay, Buddy?
Thanks for coming, guys.
- [Lenny] Thanks,
Max. Appreciate it.
See ya later.
- [Max] Right on.
- [Lenny] Sorry I got
mad at you the other day.
Just feel like I'm,
been a bad dad lately.
- Okay, Lenny.
- No, it's not okay.
I promise I'll do my
best to be better, okay?
Still won't call me Dad, huh?
- But your name is Lenny.
- Yeah, I know, but
Dad is more meaningful.
Lenny's just a name.
Anyway,
Max is gonna drop
you off at your mom's
after the game, okay?
(Isaac sighs)
- Gonna be there at
Tracy's wedding tomorrow?
- (sighs) I don't know, Isaac.
I don't know.
(bell tolling)
- And therefore, if any
person can show just cause
why these two people should not
be joined lawfully together,
let him speak now or
forever hold his peace.
- I object!
Tracy, please!
Please, I'm begging you!
Don't do this! Don't do this!
- Lenny, this is not
gonna go well for you.
- No, no. I'm sorry, Father.
Everybody just keeps
telling me to move on!
Chelsea?
- Yeah, that's right, Lenny.
I'm going back to my old life.
I bet you wish you could go
back to yours too, right?
Playing house with your wife.
Pretending she's
something she's not.
With your son stuck
in the middle.
(sighs) I mean, hey, I guess...
she knows who she is.
What about you, Lenny?
Who are you?
- Snooze, you lose, pal.
- Alrighty then.
As they say in the vernacular,
let's get jiggy with it.
By the power vested
in me from God,
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
- No!
(tires screeching)
(hard rock music)
Chelsea. Hey, listen.
I've been a total idiot.
I-I just think
you're amazing and...
look, call me.
Please?
- Friends, we are
gathered here today
to bring together the
lives of these two people,
Tracy and Iris.
(rock music)
(tires squealing)
To join together this woman
and this woman
in holy matrimony,
an honorable state.
(intense rock music)
(tires screeching to a halt)
Who wish to be married
in the presence
of their families,
their friends,
and before the eyes of God.
Do you, Tracy, take Iris to
be your lawfully wedded...
husband?
- [Tracy] Wife.
- Wife.
Wife.
In sickness and in health?
- I do.
- [Father David] And do
you, Iris, take Tracy
to be your lawfully wedded wife
in sickness and in health?
- [Iris] I do.
- I now pronounce you...
- [Lenny] Hold on.
Hold on a second.
Sorry.
Sorry. I'm sorry to
interrupt you guys.
- Lenny, what are you doing?
- There's something
I have to say.
Tracy, once I found out the
truth about who you are,
I was hurt.
It hurt me to the core.
And everything I believed in
was disappearing before my eyes.
Somehow, I got blown off course.
I lost my internal compass.
But somehow, through
all of this, I...
I found my way home.
There's nothing wrong with you.
There's nothing wrong with me.
It's just...
pain to go through.
And now that I'm
out the other side,
I'm glad.
I'm glad that you don't
have to be something
that you're not anymore.
I accept you for who you are.
You're the mother of our son.
And I need you.
You too, Iris.
We're a family.
We're a little screwed-up, but
we're still a family.
- Lenny?
- [Lenny] Yeah?
- Can we do this another time?
'Cause we're kind of in
the middle of something.
- Oh, yeah. I'm sorry.
There's one more
thing I gotta do.
- And we continue.
I now pronounce you...
I now pronounce
this couple married.
You may kiss each other.
(romantic music)
(upbeat drum music)
(knocking)
- Chels?
(upbeat drum music)
Um.
Excuse me.
I'm looking for...
actually, I don't know who
I'm looking for, exactly,
But uh, he's got a
daughter named Chelsea.
* Even though you
don't remember me
* I remember you
- Mr. Strait?
You have a visitor.
- Thanks.
Is that your guitar?
- Yeah.
I gave it to my
daughter, Chelsea,
to sell if for me so that
I could afford this place.
- Chelsea, huh?
- You know my daughter?
- Yeah, I know your daughter.
As a matter of fact,
I'm lookin' for her.
Do you know where she is?
- Yeah. She's uh...
s-she, s-she's, she's at work.
She works as a...
as a waitress,
at, at a...
- It's real, it's
really important.
- At the, at the Buffalo
Rose. Yeah, that's it.
- A waitress, huh?
- Yeah, she left for
work about an hour ago.
She seemed very upset,
and nothing I could
do would cheer her up.
- Yeah.
Well, I'm gonna
fix all that, okay?
- Okay.
- I promise.
Very nice to meet you, sir.
See ya later.
- Okay.
She's gone on tour
with her band.
To, um...
to Paris. Yeah, that's it.
- Paris, huh?
- And t-tell her to
bring back my guitar.
- I will.
- Paris, Texas. Yeah, that's it.
Paris, Texas.
- We get real wacky crowds,
so be on your toes.
All right?
Got that?
- Hey fellas, do you
know where Chelsea is?
- I got this guy.
- Oh, shit.
- You again, huh?
You're back for more?
(thudding)
(exquisite opera music)
- Thanks, Rookie.
Oh! Hello.
See?
Now we match.
- You better stay down.
(exquisite opera music)
- They're shutting
down the newspaper.
We're all out of a job.
- We're getting married!
- Father, she's
gonna burn in hell.
- Oh, really? You
want some more?
(thudding)
(exquisite opera music)
Oh yeah?
(thudding)
(exquisite opera music)
- Nice goin', Ace.
(thudding)
(thumping and grunting)
(exquisite opera music)
(thudding)
- (thuds) Oh, shit.
(thudding and grunting)
(beautiful opera music building)
Nightie night, Fang.
Sleep tight.
- What the hell are you doing?
- Fighting for you.
- I didn't mean actually
fight for me, you bozo!
Hey.
- Chelsea.
I am a bozo, Chelsea, I am.
I want to be with you.
You know why?
Because you helped
me find myself again.
I tried to call you
to tell you that.
And I stopped by
your dad's place,
he told me you
worked here, and--
- Wait. What?
Y-You met my dad?
- Yeah.
At the convalescent home.
Chelsea, he told me
you were going on tour.
And like...
how are we gonna work this out?
- Relax, Rookie.
We're Equilibrium,
not Aerosmith.
We'll be back in two weeks.
- Oh.
- And besides, it will
give you some time
to write your book and,
who knows, maybe
when I get back,
you can, you can read it to me?
Deal?
- Deal.
Come here.
(lovely romantic music)
Hey. See this?
(clattering)
(joyful music)
- Lenny?
What's gonna happen to Santa?
- I don't know, Isaac.
- He's a nice man.
- I know. I like him too, Bud.
- Do we all lose our
memories when we get older?
Is that what happens?
- Sometimes.
- Hope that never happens to me.
- I think you'll be all right.
- It's like he left Chelsea.
But he's still here.
- Yeah, but Chelsea's
there for him.
And that's what matters.
- You won't ever leave me,
will you, Dad?
- No.
I'll never leave you, Son.
You know I love you, right, Bud?
(joyful music)
(gentle jazz music)
(fire alarm blaring)