A Lovely Way to Die (1968) - full transcript

♪ What a lovely way to die ♪

♪ A lovely way to die ♪

♪ Yeah a lovely way to die ♪

♪ When your baby is too much ♪

♪ She turns you on
so strong yeah ♪

♪ You're not sure
if you'll last out ♪

♪ To see another da-a-awn ♪

♪ Oh anytime that
you're with her ♪

♪ You can't get
your breath no no ♪

♪ 'Cause she truly believes in ♪

♪ Your love and you to death ♪



♪ Alright ♪

♪ A lovely way to die ♪

♪ Yeah a lovely way to die ♪

♪ When she says
how she digs you ♪

♪ And wants to treat you
so fine ♪

♪ And she'll make you so happy ♪

♪ Drive you out of your mind ♪

♪ Oh 'cause her aim
is to please you ♪

♪ Right on out
of your head baby ♪

♪ And the way she can do it ♪

♪ Man it'll knock you dead ♪

♪ A lovely way to die ♪
♪ A lovely way to die ♪

♪ Loving you to death baby ♪

♪ A lovely way to die ♪
♪ Alright ♪



♪ A lovely way to die ♪

♪ Baby ♪
♪ A lovely way to die ♪

♪ Well alright ♪

♪ A lovely way to die ♪
♪ Baby ♪

♪ What a lovely way to die ♪♪

That's Half Track moving
up to number four position

and goes for the lead.
Half Track is on the lead.

Solo is now second,
and Green Pea is third.

Burning Twig is fourth
and Loren's Baby at the end.

Go! Come on!

Go! Go! Go!

Green Pea is now third,
Burning Twig is fourth,

and Loren's Baby still trails.

They go down the back stretch.

And it's Half Track
still leading,

with Solo now moving up
on the inside.

Around the far turn,
and now it's Loren's Baby

beginning to make
the move on far outside.

Don't stop!
Baby, don't stop!

Loren's Baby
on the outside

and Solo on the inside.

And Loren's Baby
is moving up front.

Loren's Baby is going away!

Tommy, Tommy, you won!
Tommy, aren't you excited?

The result
is now official.

It's Loren's Baby,
out of Loren Sweetheart

and Tiger's Milk

The winner of the futurity,

is owned by
Mr. and Mrs. Loren Westabrook

of Tuxedo, New York.

Here is the complete order
of finish of the futurity.

Number one, Green Pea
finished fifth.

Number two, Solo was second.

Number three, Burning Twig
was fourth.

Number four, Half Track
was five. And number five...

Your way of spotting
a winner

is a lot better than mine.

My father
was a drinking man.

Every pay day,
my mother turned me down

to the paymaster's window
to beat him to it.

That's how I learned
where the money is.

What's your name?

Tally. Yours?

Eddie. Care to join me?

Not if you're on the way
to the bank with that.

I don't trust banks.

I'm gonna hide it
under a mattress.

Your attention, please.

Entering the Winner's Circle,
ladies and gentlemen,

Mr. and Mrs. Loren Westabrook.

Tell the lady there's been
a sudden death in the family.

Mr. and Mrs. Loren Westabrook

of Tuxedo, New York.

Mrs. Westabrook, would you stand

beside the animal, please?

What now, Eddie? Back to my
place again for a nightcap?

The evening's still young.

Tell you what.

- You like prize fights?
- Love 'em.

Great. I'll go phone
for the tickets.

See you in the lobby.

I beg your pardon,
the gentleman asked me

to tell you he had to leave.

A sudden death in the family.

Well, back to the $100 window.

Take it off.

Yes, Mr. Westabrook.

I asked you not to wear
my wife's things.

Yes, Mr. Westabrook.

Go put it back.

Oh, and Carol...

While you're up there...

turn down my bed.

Yes, Mr. Westabrook.

A.M. or P.M.?

Hm.

Harry.

You will come back.

Now that I know the way.

Your name isn't
really Harry, is it?

Uh-uh.

I thought so.

You didn't have to lie to me.

That was before I got
to know you and trust you.

My name is Charlie.

Charlie Schumacher.

Well... don't, um...

rush off, Charlie.

Listen, tell you what.

I'll go out and get a shave.

When I get back,
we're going out to dinner.

- Mmh.
- Hm?

Oh! Want me to order, honey?

- I dig this food real good.
- Anything you say, Wendy.

Well, now, let's see.

We'll have, uh,
some of that fish

with the whatcha-ma-call-it
sprinkled on it.

And, uh, that green pepper dish
with that good sauce.

And, some of that
mushy white stuff

in those little squares.
Walter?

- Sound good to you, Walter?
- Steak. Rare. French fries.

I'll be right back.

That's not a bad
proposition

but let's not jump
into things. Take...

Mr. McMurty of Kansas City.

Wilson of Detroit,
Hansen of Las Vegas

and of course, Henderson
from little old New York.

Who are you?
What do you want?

- You know this joker?
- Jim Schuyler. A cop.

That's right,
and this is a pinch

right in the middle
of your sukiyaki. On your feet.

Now, listen, Schuyler.
You got no call...

On your feet
and hold up the wall.

Thanks, Larry.

- Hey, Julie.
- Hi.

Understand you got yourself
engaged.

What's a girl to do?

There's only one of you
and so many of us.

Ah, just as well.
I'm no good.

Worthless, unreliable,
unprincipled.

- You ought to pray for me.
- Mm, I prayed for months.

But I didn't get you.

Look, I tell ya',
I want to confess.

Shut up, thief.

Hi, Daley. What's the story?

Not too good. One of them's
still in a coma.

So? Is that why Haver
called me in?

I've still got three days
of vacation

- You know what time-
- Sky.

Mr. Layton is in there.

- Who?
- Mr. Layton.

You can't bust a man
for what he did.

He runs into a meeting
like that, four known criminals

from all over the map.
What's he supposed to do?

Nobody said anything
about busting him.

I said there's got to be
an investigation.

Mr. Layton, he's a good cop.
The best I've got.

An investigation has
got to hurt him.

He doesn't deserve that.

Are you suggesting
we simply ignore what happened?

Call a cranial fracture
normal police action?

The man's recovering.

Haver, this isn't the first time
that Schuyler's file

has come across my desk.

A 112 arrests in the past year

and nearly half
needed medical attention.

Now, I don't know what you
call that, but the public

calls it brutality.

Yeah?

In a minute. He's outside.

The brutality is going
to stop, Captain.

If it doesn't,
I am going to break him.

Now, bring him in here.
I'm running late as it is.

Come in, Sky.

You know Mr. Layton?
Detective Jamison Schuyler.

No, but I've heard
a lot about you.

Now, what's all this?

I've failed, sir.

I just can't seem
to learn the knack

of coddling criminals.

I get impatient when they steal,

push dope, or try to take me
to Slice City.

- So I'm turning in my shield.
- Come on, now.

- Let's talk sense.
- Alright, let's talk it.

Every time I make an arrest,
I'm a killer if I use a gun

and a sadistic brute
if I use my fists.

What am I supposed to hit those
bums with, those law books?

You've forgotten
what it's like out there.

Sitting behind that desk.

- I haven't forgotten, Sky.
- I'm sorry.

You've got a tough job,
I don't want to make it tougher.

Give that shield to somebody
who wants to die like a hero.

Sky. Tennessee Fredricks called.
Left this message.

- Tennessee Fredricks?
- So I'm a lousy secretary.

Came in this morning.

Thanks for the lift,
Johnny.

Anytime, Sky,
I land here

three or four times everyday.

The deaths
of four people in Chicago.

Full details on the
six o'clock news.

Headlining the local news,

is the sensational development
in the Westabrook murder case.

Rena Westabrook, the murdered
sportsman's widow

and Jonathan Fleming,
internationally known playboy,

have been arrested and charged
with the crime.

Fleming and Mrs. Westabrook
are being

arraigned today
in County Court House.

Are you in love with Fleming?

Will you get married
before trial?

Mrs. Westabrook has nothing
to say at this time.

- What are your plans?
- No comment. No comment.

Boy, ain't she somethin'?

Yeah, especially
with a thirty-eight.

Mr. Fleming,
you're to come with me.

After this, except for
in the courtroom

you and Mrs. Westabrook are not
to appear together in public.

Look at her.

Would you want
to see her in public

when you can see her in private?

You don't understand.
Mr. Fredricks' orders.

You're not to see her at all.

What if I see her by accident?

Do you have any comment?

Well, I, I might have
a little something to say.

It seems to me a whoopin' lot
of imagination's been at work

in the District Attorney's
office, and that's why

my clients stand accused.

Too much imagination,
as the fellow once said,

is soon tortured into reality.

And that's how
horse thieves are made.

A fella leans over a fence
all day and imagines

the horse in the corral
belongs to him.

And sure enough,
the first dark night, it does.

Good luck, Gypsy!
She's a Gypsy, you know.

- Please.
- What'd you wanna see me about?

Not now, Sky.
Let's get to the car.

Right this way, please.

Harris, Mrs. Westabrook
will serve the gentlemen tea.

- Hey!
- Be with you in a minute, Sky!

Was it awful?

Don't ever get arrested.

Why don't you take
a nice, warm bath?

There isn't time.

Doesn't take long.

Choose something for me
to change into.

Something sexy.

Dokey.

Uh, now, let me talk to Josie.

Uh, Tennessee, do you mind
giving me a little...

Uh, Josie?

I understand your ma
has been feeling poorly.

Well, I'm might sorry
to hear about that.

Dang, I'm never too busy

to enquire of those
in my employ.

Oh, by the way, Josie.

I have to ask you to work
a little later for a week or so.

I, I've got to squeeze in
some time for this trial.

Will there be
anything else, sir?

Well,
I appreciate that.

You give my sincerest best
wishes to your ma.

Dokey, now switch me over
to Larry.

Okay, I've enjoyed the view
of the river,

the surroundings are elegant,
and the girls are pretty.

Now, why am I here?

I figured you'd get busted, Sky.

Busted? That's not the way
it'll read in my memoirs.

Lar? I understand bail's
been set for 25,000.

Well, you take care
of it. Dokey.

You haven't answered
my question.

Sky... with one simple talent,

I've made an international
reputation.

And enough man to give
a lesser man a power ego.

- Gift of gab.
- No.

I recognize the fact,
not the word.

Let me tell you the story
about the miser

that fell in the river.

Called for help, see?

And a fella on the bank
leaned over and yelled,

"Give me your hand.
Give me your hand!"

Now, for reasons
best known to himself,

the durned fool miser
wouldn't take it.

Along came another fella,
one who recognized the fact.

He extended his hand
to the miser and said,

"Here. Take this. Take this."

- The miser took it.
- I was not busted.

Well, have it your way.

- Here, take this.
- Oh, come on, Tennessee.

What am I doing here?

There's gonna be
a long trial, Sky.

Dirty and sensational.

- How about working for me?
- Doing what?

Well, among other things,
I want you to stay here

and look after her.

Keep the reporters and cranks

from climbing over the walls
and pestering her.

You're asking me to play nanny
to a pistol-packin' mama?

You're a little
out of line there, Sky.

Come off it, it's a stale story.

Young wife, young lover,
older husband,

and then one night, bang!
Was that a shot?

D.A. decides to prosecute.
Lady and lover retain you.

Lady and lover
get away with murder.

Meantime, while the wheels
of justice

grind on, she relaxes here.

Well... if you've got to
sweat out a homicide charge

this is the spot for it.

Nice place to visit.
Wouldn't like to live here.

Oh, forgive me,
please, forgive me.

I'm so terribly sorry
to keep you waiting.

You must be perishing
for your tea.

Well, it, it is
way past that time.

At once.

Please. You were
saying something

about a press conference,
Mr. Fredricks.

Well, yeah, just a few
of the newspaper fellas

that I can trust.

Clear up some of the facts
that have been distorted.

You say you met your husband
in London, was it?

Mm-hm. I was appearing there
in a musical comedy.

He was 50, and I was 22.

I married him
because he was very rich.

Well, I'm sure, also
because he was good to you

and you thought
you could make him happy.

Oh, say, that's very good.

I'll remember that.
It's what you call a sympathy...

Grabber. Sympathy-grabber.

Exactly.
Every little bit helps.

We don't want to hang, do we?

I understand what you're trying
to accomplish, Mr. Fredricks.

Image. Is it not so?

Uh, the image we wish to build
is based on the truth.

That I'm honest,
courageous, modest-

- And of course, innocent.
- Of course.

I'll choose my wardrobe
accordingly.

For all public appearances,
I mean.

Uh, something expensive,
that wrinkles.

Hey, you know another grabber?

Tears. Oh, I don't mean floods.
Restraint.

Right, Tennessee?

Isn't it tiresome, Mr. Schuyler?

Isn't what?

The President
of the United States

says I'm innocent.

- Huh?
- His cabinet.

The congress. The governors
of all 50 states

say I'm innocent
until proved guilty.

But unfortunately,
there are among us,

the low, the ignorant,

who pre-judge.

For them, we must
build an image.

Oh, yes, Feeney.
You must excuse me.

I find that a bath

and an hour's nap
in the afternoon

relieve the tensions.

So nice to have
met you, Mr. Schuyler.

She's fruity.

That wasn't the real lady, Sky.

- Real enough for me.
- There's no explaining her.

You're gonna have to stick
around to find out.

The President
says she's innocent.

There's a, I made a list
of a few things-

- Don't bother.
- I'm sorry-

- I'm not staying!
- Wait for me.

Mrs. Westabrook?

Yes?

Now, you could've set him down
with less effort.

My way was more fun.

Well, a little fun's
never out of place

when somebody's facing
imminent disaster.

Can you guess why bail
was set at such a low figure?

I thought it was high.

It was low because the district
attorney didn't fight.

Didn't fight to keep you
in custody.

Didn't fight for higher bail.

See, the way it works is,

the stronger and more damning
the evidence

the higher the bond.

You got a bargain.

He presented
just enough evidence

to have you held over for trial.

Can you guess why he did that?

No.

He's saving the rest
of it for the trail.

For the big, dramatic moment

when it'll win his case
and make him a hero.

He's holding back the zinger.

What is the zinger,
Mrs. Westabrook?

Call me Rena.

- The zinger?
- The zinger.

What does the district attorney
know that you and Fleming know

that I don't? Now, what
have you kept from me?

Honey, your bath is ready.

Did I tell you he'd stay away
for weeks at a time?

And you know why?

He hoped I would be gone
when he got back.

Or else, he'd bring
his women here.

The maid, Carol,
whom you saw downstairs?

She never left.

Why do you still keep her?

It's not her fault
my husband was a chaser.

Besides, she asked me
if she could stay

until the reading of the will.

Are you trying to put me
off my question?

I won't allow it.
I insist on an answer.

But it doesn't have to be
right this minute.

Mr. Fredricks.

I'm glad you're my attorney.

I have great faith in you.

I don't believe
the story myself,

but they claim
the Empress Josephine

got a letter one day
which said,

"Dear Jo...
all things considered,

I did not do good at Waterloo."

Signed Napoleon.

Fine. Don't lose
your sense of humor.

I figure the worse you'll get
is life imprisonment.

Mrs. Westabrook said I should
show you to your room.

Oh?

When did she do that?

Just now, she phoned down
to the kitchen.

We'll all do everything we can
to make you comfortable.

Yeah, but, how's the food?

Would you like
to follow me, please?

Yes, indeed.

By the way, Sky,
you'd best check her alibi.

We don't want to get caught with
egg on the jowls now, do we?

Yes, boss.

Good morning.

Mrs. Westabrook, I understand
that on the night of the murder,

Fleming arrived here
at about 7:30.

Yes. We had tickets
for the theatre.

We took the helicopter
into Manhattan.

What time did
the performance end?

I'm not certain.
A little after 11.

11:14.

You took a taxi,
the driver's record shows

that he drove you
to the heliport.

Your pilot says
you and Mr. Fleming

landed on the lake
around 11:30.

Then what?

We stopped at Franciscoe's Bar.

That's where we saw
Sean Magruder.

Hm.

Um.

Gruder. Gruder.

Oh, yes. Sean Magruder,
tree surgeon.

I told Mrs. Westabrook's lawyer
all I know.

I saw Mrs. Westabrook
and Mr. Fleming

at Franciscoe's
about 11:40.

I told the lawyer that.

I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking, why didn't
anybody else see them,

why didn't they
go into Franciscoe's?

The place was crowded.

They decided to pass it up.

I was in the parking lot
when they left.

Whenever you're ready,
I'll say that in court.

Hi.

We don't open until five.

Perfect. I never drink
before five.

I could try out a few names
on you like, say, uh...

Magruder. A merry woodchopper.

Oh, yeah, Sean. He drinks.

One-two-three style?

Four-five-six. Goes pretty good.

How good was he going
last Wednesday? You remember?

- Wednesday?
- Day of the double-header.

Oh, yeah. Sean came in.

Seven-eight-nine.

What does the name, uh...

Jonathan Fleming do for you?

Swinger. Rich style.

- A wine buyer.
- Why here?

A mile down the road,
he can get fiddle music

and a napkin with his champagne.

I can't answer that.
Maybe he goes there, too.

He doesn't.

Magruder. Fleming. Westabrook.

That parley pay off?

Don't bother. I can't give you
your money's worth.

I'm not giving you much.

All I know is what
I read in the papers.

Take it anyway.
Nice guy style.

Mr. Fleming, please.

Uh, when will he be in?

- Hi, Mr. Fleming.
- Hey.

- Ah, that isn't necessary.
- For past favors.

I'll get the chain.

Hold it up, pal.

Sorry. But you can't see
Mrs. Westabrook.

Cop?

Ex-con.

Uh-uh.

Long term in reformatory, then.

Would you like your prize
in merchandise or credit?

Doesn't rate a prize.
It was easy.

For a cop.

You're among nice people now.
Let me through.

I have important business to
discuss with Mrs. Westabrook.

Try smoke signals.

That's as close
as you're gonna get to her.

Now, keep that chain up...

Now look, you, nobody said I
gotta take orders from you.

Just step aside, see,
and let Mr. Fleming...

You mustn't push.

Hey!

Hey, Gypsy!

Oh!

Hey!

I want to talk to you.

What did you want to talk about?

On the day of the murder,
you and your husband

went to the races and you
drove home along this road.

Mmh.

Did anything happen?

No.

- Anything.
- Hm-hm.

It was Loren's scarf, really.

And you just, uh...

Uh-huh.

Why?

Did you see or talk to anybody?

No. Nobody.

Oh, that's where we ran
into the ditch.

That's funny.

The gate works electrically,
but there's no bell.

Maybe if we telephone first?

What do you know
about this Finchley?

Not much. He's an Englishman,
a recluse.

They say he's a little...
you know.

A pair. A man
and a woman. Right.

May I help you?
I'm Gordon, the housekeeper.

I'd like to see
Mr. Finchley, please.

Oh, I'm afraid
that's impossible.

It's important. We'll only
keep him a minute.

Oh, you
don't understand.

Mr. Finchley never sees anyone.

He hasn't received
a visitor for months.

That's strange.

How about last Wednesday?
Late in the afternoon?

But he did, I tell you.

Loren said he saw Mr. Finchley.

He came to use the telephone.
Loren Westabrook.

I'm from the police.
Try that on Mr. Finchley.

I'll see the gentlemen.

Mrs. Gordon is correct
on all counts but one.

I insist on seeing
all the lovely

young ladies
who come to my door.

Mr. Finchley, do you remember
Loren Westabrook being here?

Oh, yes, indeed. Vividly.

I was sunning on the terrace.

And dozing, I'm afraid.

When he suddenly
appeared behind me.

It was rather startling,
you know.

He asked if he might
use the telephone.

Some misfortune
with his motorcar, I believe.

He made only the one call?

Oh, yes, I'm certain.

I showed him to my study.

That's why you didn't
see him, Mrs. Gordon.

I couldn't help overhearing.

He made only the one call.

Mrs. Gordon. Mayn't I have
the young lady to tea?

It's time for your rest, sir,
you know the doctor's orders.

Oh, dear.

Some other time, perhaps.

You're very sweet.

Thank you.

- Okay?
- All clear, come on out.

Okay, $20 pool
on how many women

will be on the jury.

- Ain't you in, Sky?
- I'm not a gambling man.

- Five.
- Too bad, honey, too bad.

- Two.
- You got a real chance, honey.

Ain't that right, Sky?

Never argue at
the dinner table, Biddy.

The one who isn't hungry always
gets the best of the argument.

Ain't he something though?

Get Sky another chop from the
warmer. A nice, thick one.

- Thank you.
- Delighted.

- She ain't a Gypsy, you know.
- She ain't?

Westabrook's bluenose friends
started that one

to give her a bad time.

She's not a bad sort,
for a foreigner.

She oughtn't have done it,
though.

- She did it, didn't she?
- I heard her threaten him.

"I'll kill you," she says.

He laughs. "Ho ho ho. You ain't
got the guts," he says.

"Don't kid yourself,"
she answers.

You told the police, of course?

Oh, Sky.

I can't get mixed up
in no murder scandal.

I got too many business
interests to protect.

Six. Ha!

Fat chance I got.

That squirrel shooting lawyer
of hers would never allow

six women on a jury.

Not in a thousand years.

- More wine, Sky?
- Mmh, thank you.

Mmh. That's a big one.

Cheers.

I woke one dawn
from having dreamt of it.

I rushed to my sketchpad
saying, "It's Rena."

"This one is Rena."

The fabric is made of
thinly beaten metal

and aluminum derivative.

Very light, very chic,
very you.

Accessories,
a triple layer sharkskin

and positively dangerous
in concept.

I can't tell you what excitement
it's caused in the shop.

And everyone says
when they look at it,

"That's Rena Westabrook."

And now, the jewel
of my collection.

I shall say nothing but that
the fabric is of simple chiffon.

Daley, I don't like it.

Not the color,
nor the line,

nor anything about it.

Hah, take it away, dear.
It's horrible.

Sergeant Cole?

Jim Schuyler at
the Westabrook place.

I got another one for you.

This nut tried to make it up
to the lady's bedroom.

I don't know if he's
a newsman, a photographer

or a sex-maniac, but you'll
find him in the Nasturtium bed.

Uh, bring medicine.

Maybe he wasn't
such a nut at that.

Why didn't you stop him
when he was downstairs?

You know, police methods
are sometimes difficult

for the amateur to understand.

A lovely room.

I think I'd better have
a look around.

There's nobody here.

Better if I check.

Mmh.

Well, it all looks okay.

Nothing like being sure.

You know, I've been meaning
to talk to you.

I've gone a long time
without a day off.

Girlfriend?

Well, nothing serious.

Take a day.

I need a day and a night.

Very funny.

Jamison.

It's a nice name. Strong.

It's interesting
how people get names.

Why Jamison?

I can see your mother
and father admiring you.

And your father says,

"Let's call him Jim."

But your mother says "No,
we'll call him Jamison."

Because Jamison is
a very special kind of Jim.

They gave you a good start,
your mother and father.

How come you turned out
to be such a rat?

- Hm, yeah?
- Sky?

- Yeah?
- Sky?

Guess what happened
to Sean Magruder. Just guess.

He disappeared during the night.

I woke up and made the coffee,
thinking he was asleep

in the other room.

He'd been drinking some,
that makes him restless.

He didn't want to wake me.

Sean's considerate that way.

You called Franciscoe's?

He wasn't there.

Do you have a record of the
people he's been working for?

He keeps a list in the truck.

Why don't you give him a call?

It'll give you something to do.

Maybe I ought to
call the police.

No need to do that yet.

Don't worry, he'll turn up.

It's not the first time
a man's been out of bed.

Mister?

I am holding, Josie.

I... Do you hear?

She don't hear for beans.

I am holding, Josie.

What if Magruder
doesn't turn up?

I don't know. He'd be
a twitchy witness at best.

Depends on what you have
to tell me about his alibi.

- You check it out?
- From all angles.

If Fleming and the girl went
directly from the helicopter

to the house, they
could've made it in time.

And if they stopped here?

Well, if they were here
at 11:40

as Magruder says,
it'd be impossible.

Then I'm gonna need Magruder,
twitchy or otherwise.

Hope he turns up. I'd hate
to see you lose your first case.

Sky boy, living on hope
is like living on wind.

It's a good way to get full,
but a poor way to get fat.

I am holding, Josie.

I am.

The big local news
is the murder trial

of Rena Westabrook
and Jonathan Fleming,

which gets underway
just a few hours from now,

with the star defense witness
still missing.

A late report
from the authorities

indicates that the blood
found on Sean Magruder's truck

was not his,
but that of a workman

who was injured yesterday.

And so, with the possibility
of foul play eliminated,

the big question still remains,
"Where is Sean Magruder,

the only man who can help
Rena Westabrook?"

It's only a few minutes
past midnight, and already,

people are gathering
to spend the night here

on the courthouse steps.

Let's talk with a few of them.

What is your name, sir?

Ah... Bigger. Alonzo K. Bigger.

Mr. Bigger, why're you here?

Well, there's only so many seats
in a courtroom

and I've got to get mine
the hard way.

Thank you, sir.

Why is Mr. Bigger there, really?

He wants to see you
get away with murder.

Do you think I'll get away
with it, Jamison?

Nothing's impossible.

Why did you try
to make love to me?

I think it's got something
to do with Mama

delivering a boy child.

What are you gonna do now that
Magruder's run out on you, huh?

The best witness

my money could buy,
is that what you're thinking?

You said it. I didn't.

Sean drinks, but he's honest.

How does a man like that
get to be a liar? A perjurer?

The same way
you get to be a patsy.

You keep bad company.

Do you want to see me
get away with murder, Jamison?

You, the relentless policeman

who gives no quarter
to the criminal?

Do you?

Interesting.

Few days ago, you'd have said
"no" without hesitation.

Hm? You make rotten coffee.

Why'd you come down here?

I think it's got something
to do with Mama

delivering a girl child.

You're a mighty fine looking
bunch of citizens,

ladies and gentlemen.

Alternates, of course.
Mighty fine.

And I consider myself privileged

to address you at this time.

Now, what can I tell you?

I- I could tell you that
the person or persons

responsible for the murder
of Loren Westabrook

are not in this courtroom.

No, actually, I withdraw that.

They could be in this courtroom,
I can't be dead certain of that.

But of one thing I am certain.

They are not at this here table.

Ladies and gentlemen, hear me,
and hear me well.

The charge is murder.

Murder. Murder. Murder.
Murder. Murder.

Any of you make a note
of the number of times

I spoke the word murder?

Hm?

Five times.

Any of you make note
of the number of times

it was used by the distinguished
member of the prosecution,

during a four-hour
and seventeen-minute

interpretation of the facts?

Five times.

But he used another word
47 times.

Now, what can this word be,
which in the thinking

of the prosecution, rates such

pre-eminence, and repetition?

The word, dear friends,

is lover.

Lover. Lover. Lover, lover,
lover, lover, lover.

Ladies and gentlemen,

against which charge
am I to defend my clients?

Murder? Or adultery?

I- I'm caught in a dilemma.

I feel like a woman
in a high wind.

I don't know whether to hold on
to my umbrella, or my skirts.

My friends...

let me tell you
the story about...

about the fella that was
crossing the footbridge,

and he was balancing
a crate of eggs on his head.

- Yeah?
- Jamison.

Bring the car.

- It's past ten.
- Bring the car.

You can't go out.
You'll be recognized.

Where are we going?

- I want another drink.
- Sure.

The accused had
a swinging evening on the town

and showed up for the second day
of her trial with a hangover.

You're too much, you know that?

What should I be doing? Praying?

Taking a sleeping pill
to forget my problems?

You hated the guy.
He hated you.

He made your life miserable.

Why didn't you
pack up and leave?

- Why stay?
- The money.

Ah, the pursuit of happiness.
At least you're honest.

Honesty is a quality
you're supposed to admire.

Especially in a woman.

Jamison, what do you plan to do

while I'm serving
life in prison?

I've had some offers.

Business Machine Company
wants me

to take over
its security program.

There's a chance
of a partnership

in a fleet of taxi cabs.

I might even start
my own detective agency.

Do you think
you could sympathize

with your clients' problems?

Nothing's impossible.

You're a mystery to me, Jamison.

The world's full of mysteries.

For instance, do you know
where a butterfly sleeps, hm?

You know what you are, Jamison?
A centaur.

You mean half horse?

Half one thing, half another.
Half swinger, half square.

Have you ever been
in love or married?

I've tried both.

And now you're finished
with both, is that it?

Let's, uh, make do
with what's left.

Jamison, if you were
to fall in love with me,

would you tell me so?

No chance.

Hey, look at this.
Gypsy smiles under pressure.

Oh, Gypsy,
ain't my little Gypsy.

Why did you kill him? Why?

Now they're gonna put you away.

You're so beautiful and there's
so little beauty in this world.

I wonder if it ever crossed
the mind of anyone,

anyone at all,
that I'm innocent?

Oh, you mean, besides the, uh,
President, and the governors,

and all those other guys?

I want to cry, Jamison.

Take me out where I can cry.

This, I got to see.

You're really a terrible man,
you know that?

You've got some
admirable qualities yourself.

Goodnight, Jamison.
Thank you for everything.

I meant to ask,
are your quarters comfortable?

Oh, yes. Fine.

Goodnight, Jamison.

Remember Alonzo K. Bigger?

I thought about him
in the courtroom this morning.

I had an irresistible urge
to turn and see

if he was enjoying himself.

Was the long wait
during the night worth it?

I'd say yes. The D.A. put on
quite a show.

He did, didn't he?

Well... goodnight, then.

Do you think we might
miss some of the crowd

if we left a little early
in the morning?

- I doubt it.
- You're probably right.

Can't you take a hint?

Goodnight.

Damn Gypsy.

Dump it. Yeah,
I said dump it.

I've had that stock
more than three years.

Four hundred shares
at twenty-two, and the best

it ever did was four
and a half percent.

Yeah, that's what I want.

I got a ten-unit motel
outside Jersey City.

Brings in seven and a half,
eight percent.

And it's a better
capital gains deal.

Go ahead, honey.

Uh, the prosecution's
opening address

which took four hours
and seventeen minutes...

Good morning, Feeney.

Good morning, Harris.

What am I going to do
while you're doing time?

Well, there's
the business machine deal...

Oh, no. I don't see you
in big business.

It's not you.

And taxi cabs, they're okay
when it rains.

So I think you should open
your own detective agency.

I'll be your first client.

Find out who killed my husband.

You can begin right now, today.

Jim...

I didn't kill him.

I didn't kill him.

Sky

you're running water
into a leaky barrel.

Now you, yourself
check Fleming out.

A few arrests, no convictions,

a tough kid who straightened
himself out.

I tell you, Rena had nothing
to do with the murder.

Fleming had Westabrook killed
on his own.

Well, fry me for fish.

Oh, come on, Tennessee.
Listen to me.

Don't you see how simple it is?

He gets Westabrook
out of the way,

he marries the girl, burns up
his Social Security card.

But the alibi?

It strings them together

and you can't separate them.

It's that alibi that makes them
Romeo and Juliet,

Eloise and Abelard,
Samson and Delilah,

Mutt and Jeff.

- Well, don't it?
- Alright.

- Don't it?
- Alright.

- Don't it?
- Alright!

What's gotten into you, Sky?

I just don't
understand you today.

What do you mean
what's gotten into me?

I knock myself out doing my job
and all you can say is

"Fry me for fish"
and "Don't it?"

and "Eloise and Abelard."
And all that.

Sky-Boy, faith is for Church.

In court I've got to have facts.

Cold, hard facts.

Say, see that couple
in the corner?

A buck says she's gonna slug him
and walk out mad.

What odds you want?

Is there a time limit?

Makes you wish Adam had died
with all his ribs in his body.

Crazy-style.

I called you last night.

I was doing some detective work.

Snooping, you might say.

- Anything new?
- Quite a bit.

Nothing that helps your case.

Go ahead.

I'll make no comment on the
merits of the case, of course.

Except to say that I have a keen
respect for my learned opponent,

Mr. Fredericks, who as you know,
has yet to lose a case.

Look at him, important as a
mouse occupyin' a chipmunk hole.

And he's waitin' to slip me
the zinger.

Well, if it's bigger than
a bread box, it's gonna hurt.

It's a witness.

He's got a witness,
or he wouldn't be going

through all this rigmarole.
Make him look foolish.

I wish I knew the truth.

If I knew, I could protect
my clients against themselves.

- The answer's no.
- Hey?

I wouldn't do what you're asking
for anybody.

I didn't ask for anything.

I don't get you, Sky.

- Not for that, you don't.
- Suspicions, suspicions.

I wish you'd learn
to trust me, Sky.

Would you trust somebody
who hadn't been south

of the Mason-Dixon
since he was eight years old

and still talk like you do?

I guess
lunch didn't set too well.

Mrs. Westabrook.

Oh, gee whiz, Sky.

I quit secretarial work

so I wouldn't have to get up
at this hour.

Come on, Belinda.

Just one more pad, huh?

Here. Hm. Please?

"Memo. Re Clausen and Black.

The insurance company
handling-"

No, that's not it.
Try the next one.

"Letter to Beacon,
Brogan, Berry-"

No. Next one. Keep going.

"Memo. Urgent.

"Re Westabrook, Fleming.

"Notify Calhoun,

issue subpoena
to Mr. Anthony Coolidge."

Anthony Coolidge?

- Never heard of him.
- You will.

Because the DA's gonna put
Mr. Coolidge on the stand

and say, "Mr. Coolidge,
where were you on the night

in question?"

And Mr. Coolidge is gonna tell,

how on the night
of the murder,

he and his fiance
decided to see

a certain musical comedy.

Now, when they got
to the box office,

the show was sold out.
But wait.

What have we here?

Why, it's a zinger. A handsome
young man approaching.

"I have two tickets
for this performance

that I can't use,"
says the handsome young man.

"Would you care to have them?"

Oh, no, Sky!

Don't tell me
that Fleming and the girl

didn't sit through the show.

I thought
you'd checked everything.

Look, I did.
The seats were occupied.

But nobody could prove
it wasn't your clients.

Not until Mr. Coolidge decided
to come forward

and be a good citizen.

- Son of a...
- You're in for it, pal.

Now, I won't tell you
how I know all this.

For God's sake, no,
don't tell me.

Because you're an attorney

of very high ethical standards.

But, I'll give you some advice.

Start remembering
some very funny stories.

Because when the DA gets through
with Coolidge

and proves your clients
guilty of murder,

he's gonna turn to you and say,
"Your witness."

At which time, I'll be waiting
with sizzling anticipation

to hear
what you've got to say.

Did you-all enjoy the show,
Mr. Coolidge?

- Yes.
- And your lady?

Your fiancee, did you say?

Did she enjoy the show?

- Yes.
- Now, that is very nice.

I wonder
if you could do me

a favor, Mr. Coolidge.

Try to recall
what Mr. Fleming said

when he gave you
those two tickets.

Did he say he was doing so in
order to establish

an alibi for murder?

Well, no.

Well, he didn't say
he was not going

to attend
that performance, did he?

Well, he implied it.

He said something had come up

and he couldn't use
the tickets.

Those were your words, sir.

And those words
don't mean

he was not going
to see the show.

- Do they?
- Well...

Now, you'd give me a itty-bitty
edge on that, wouldn't ya?

Well, those were his words, yes.

Dokey. Now, tell me

the color of the tickets that
Mr. Fleming so kindly gave you.

I believe
they were, ah... Orange?

Orange?

Are you certain?

- Yes.
- Like these, Mr. Coolidge?

Yes.

Can you tell me

the numbers on the seats
you occupied?

- I'm afraid not.
- Ah, no matter.

It's a no-account
question, anyway.

Can you remember, sir,
whether your fiancee sat

on your left
or on your right?

On my right.

Describe the person
on your left.

Your Honor, is the Defense
going to introduce

the tickets in evidence
or isn't he?

All in good time.

- If it please the court.
- Counselor.

Now, the person on your left.

- I, ah... I don't remember.
- Was it a man?

No, a lady.

Tell the jury
what she was wearing.

I don't remember.
I didn't notice.

- Was she pretty? Ugly? Homely?
- I don't remember.

You sat next to her
for two and a half hours

and you can't tell us
a thing about her?

Well, I was looking at the show
and at my fiancee.

I had no interest in the lady
to my left.

That was no lady, Mr. Coolidge.

That was your hostess,
Rene Westabrook.

Objection, Your Honor.

And seated next to her was
your host, Jonathan Fleming.

Objection, Your Honor,
he's drawing conclusion.

No further questions.

Please come to order.

Order. Order in the court.

Here's the Gypsy. Hi, Gypsy.

We've been looking for you, Sky.

Congratulations
on your performance.

Now, is that any way
to say it?

That's always been
your biggest fault, Sky.

You always want things
to be right.

Be right, look right,
feel right, smell right.

And this stinks.

The imperfect man insistin'
on a perfect world.

Me, I, I can always
tolerate a whiff

or something bad
now and again.

The wind will always come up
and clear the air.

Don't snow me.
Save it for the jury.

I stand by what I do
in a courtroom, Sky.

- Now, did they kill the man?
- Ask them.

Ask her. Me, I don't know
and I don't care.

Once an attorney speculates
on the guilt or innocence

of his client,
he isn't worth the price

of rocks in a potato patch.

You're talking about an attorney
or a film-flam artist?

I'm talkin' about someone you,
yourself, might need some day.

If you do, I hope you'll
remember to think of him,

not as a conjurer
but as a friend and a protector.

I'll remember you, if I ever
need any theatre tickets.

♪ Be whatever way ♪

♪ He needs you ♪

♪ Angel lover friend ♪♪

"The management will be
responsible for coats,

only if they are checked."

Now, that's a square deal
if I ever heard one.

"All baking done on premises."

That's a lie. Show me.

Show me where you do the baking.

Order something
with mashed potatoes.

- They sponge up the booze.
- No, no, no.

You don't cop off that easy.

I've put up with that lie about
baking on the premises

long enough.
Now, where's the manager?

I want to see the manager.

Better still,
I want to see the baker.

Now, where's the kitchen? You
probably don't even have...

Well, well,
Now, isn't that interesting?

Huh?

Know who that is?

Diogenes.

Yeah. He's the guy that kept
walking the streets of Athens

with a lamp in his hand.

Yeah. He'd go up to someone,
shove the lamp in his face

and say, "I'm looking
for a friend.

I'm looking for an honest man."

You gotta figure
a guy like that's

split his melon, don't you?

That's what I always thought.

Now, look at that...

you see what he's got
in his other hand,

while he's looking
for an honest man?

That, my friend,
is a shillelagh.

That's where I made
my first mistake.

I forgot my shillelagh.

Well, begorrah, begorrah,
begorrah,

if it isn't Sean Magruder.

Where the hell have you been?

Kicky, huh?

An experiment. Op Toenails.

Can I get you something?

Coffee, drink...

Bull whip?

You killed him, didn't ya?

Johnny Fleming did.

But it was my idea.
My husband was a fink.

That was yesterday,
I'm interested in tonight.

Magruder, Sean Magruder.

Well, him. You were right.

I paid him $5000

to give us an alibi.
And he ran out.

Is that why he's dead now,
because he ran out on you?

If I'd known...
What did you say?

Your boyfriend, Fleming,
had him dumped in my car.

Sean Magruder, dead?

- You know it.
- Killed?

I'd say so with
the back of his head blown open.

Oh.

Poor Sean.

That poor woman.

Jim, you're not saying
that just to hurt.

Oh, no, no, you wouldn't.

Listen-

Don't touch me! Get out!

I don't want anything
to do with you.

I got that message when I saw
you and Fleming last night.

You... you'll believe anything
of me, won't you?

Anything. Ha.

I've been through a handful
of rare treasures in my time,

you're the only ever turned me
on that way, the only one,

and you turn to be a, a...

Don't touch me.
I said, don't touch me!

- Alright!
- And don't touch my phone!

It's my phone! Don't touch me
and don't touch my phone.

Hello? It's for you.

Yes.

Sky, the police have

a general alarm out for you.

For me? Why?

- You heard about Magruder?
- Have I heard?

He was killed
with your service revolver.

You know I-I lost that gun
in the fight with that guy

who tried to kill me.

One of two things, Sky.

Number one, you come
in and give yourself up.

Number two, you start runnin.'

Now, what's it going to be?

Number three.

Please, not my face!

Would you break the hands
of a great pianist?

- I want some information.
- Take it. Over there.

Top drawer.

Why the strong arm?
I told Rena I wouldn't use it.

Very mixed up guy,
that husband of hers.

So were gonna put the dead man
on trial with this garbage

to get yourself off the hook?

Not entirely original.

But that's what I sort
of had in my mind

when I asked Rena
to meet me at Fransisco's.

I was a witness to that lip
to lip confrontation.

Oh, you were?

Then maybe you heard her
beg me not to use it

for the sake
of the Westabrook family?

She's full of surprises,
that girl.

Made it with her yet, cop?

Where's the guy with the mask
you sent after me and my gun?

Now you've lost me.

And I think
it's about time I lost you.

Have you met my friend,
Harry Samson?

Now, once more, champ,
so you don't forget.

Fleming didn't kill Westabrook.
And he didn't finger you.

If he wanted you dead,
I'd oblige him right now.

Johnny Fleming's a nice guy,
and all he wants is to marry

the rich broad and be happy.

Understand?

From Harry Samson, over and out.

If I knew what you
were looking for...

Someone your husband worked for.

Someone who fits
this crazy thing.

Finchley.

Oh, he's a classy little guy.

Bows to the gents,
kisses the lady's hands.

Invites you to sip tea.

He's English, so what?

So Westabrook climbs his wall
to use the phone

and Westabrook goes bye-bye.

Magruder goes there
to prune some trees

and Magruder goes bye-bye.

I go there to ask a few
questions, and some monkey,

in a Halloween mask tries
to get me to join them.

Well, let's see what we've
got on him.

Mm, Finchley.

Ah, quite a guy from
the size of his file.

- Thanks.
- Have fun.

Look, Mrs. Gordon.
Just like a frozen leg of lamb.

Take him into the bedroom.

You're sure Magruder
was well thawed out?

I mean, it would be rather
embarrassing, don't you think?

If the coroner were
to discover ice crystals

in his liver, or something?

Human flesh is no different
from beef or mutton.

In 24 hours,
the tissues are limp.

You want this crated, too?

Yes. And be careful with that.

That's worth $10,000.

And then pack
the rest of the tapestries.

Well, I finally meet
the real Mr. Finchley.

Now then, I'll outline
this procedure from this point.

Uh, one moment.
Before you go into that.

I've had a thought to pick up
a trifle more money. Here.

A last minute request
for Mrs. Gordon.

In the sum of $10,000.

Years of faithful service,
that sort of thing.

I say, look here.

You came to Gordon and me with
a perfectly sound scheme.

You said, that if Finchley
were out of the way,

you were a good enough forger
to make all of us rich.

And have you any reason
to complain?

I have transferred over

a million of Finchley's
properties and securities

to our ownership.

I'm saying it's time
to pen and ink away.

We don't forge
any more documents.

Even if Finchley never met
with his lawyers,

we can't go
on fooling them forever.

Besides, Mr. Finchley told me
years ago that he had provided

for me in his will.
Generously so.

A bulletin on the trial.

The tension
has been rising

to fever pitch
in this past hour,

as we momentarily await
the conclusion

of this sensational
murder trial.

The jury is back
in the courtroom, which would

indicate they have arrived
at a verdict.

And it's "Not guilty."

Rena Westabrook and Jonathan
Fleming are free.

I repeat, Rena Westabrook
and Jonathan Fleming

have been found not guilty
of murder.

Good. The timing is perfect.

Late tomorrow night, Mr. Loomis
Finchley will seemingly die

in a fire that will reduce
this place to ashes.

When his death
is reported,

there'll be newspaper stories
and photographs.

It would be extremely awkward

if a certain two people were
to see those photographs.

So it's got to be today.
Now, she'll be returning home.

Schuyler will be
with her as usual.

Go to Kenna Waukee Circle.
Wait for them.

Right.

Oh, and, uh...

the mask won't be necessary.
Just improve the shooting.

Doctor...

Okay, you're all
under arrest.

You too, buster.

What did you think
when you heard the verdict?

Will you say something
for the television audience?

Rena, would you make some
comment on the verdict?

Could I have a picture
of you kissing Fleming?

- You could not.
- Oh, come on, Rena.

I think she means now and never.

The human race is made up
of half men and half women.

How can I lose?

Mr. Fleming!
Mr. Fleming!

Can I have
your autograph please?

Be delighted.

And what's your name,
young lady?

Tennessee, you can still boast
of never having lost a case.

Have you any comment
to make on this one?

Well, I never...
I never entertain

a negative point of view.

It muddles a man's perspective.

Remind me of the young couple
trying to make up a budget.

Troubles, troubles, troubles,
the money just wouldn't stretch.

The father was desperate.
The baby cried.

And while the mother
dried, dusted and diped

that beautiful
pink and perfect creation,

the father grumbled,

"The only thing in the house
that's paid for,

and it leaks."

Yeah? You're where?

In the freezer?

I'll be right down.

Hey!

The gate. Hurry.
You two come with me.

I hope you're
coming in, not going out.

Back to the house.
We'll have to clear out.

Westchester Tower,
this is Helicopter H74. Over.

Control Tower to H74.
Come in. Over.

Head for Kennawaukee Circle.

Uh, urgent, vital.
Contact the police.

Tell them to go
to Kennawaukee Circle.

Find two men waiting to kill
Mrs. Loren Westabrook.

- Got that?
- Will do.

Tell them to seal off
the Finchley estate,

the charge is murder.

Also, have them send a car
to the Westabrook place.

We've only got three cars.
One of them's in the shop.

The other two
are out patrolling

a 110 square miles.

We'll do what we can.

Tower, this is H74.

There's a telephone
in Mrs. Westabrook's car.

The number is, uh,
KG 62114.

Set up a relay
so I can talk to her. Hurry.

That's a tough order, sir.

Just do it, pal. Do it.

Hey.

- Hello?
- Rena, this is Jim.

Rena! Rena!

Ah, Control Tower.
Control Tower, this is H74.

- What happened?
- Relay's broken.

I'll have the Mobile Unit
operator try again.

Well, look, you call her.

Tell her to stop that car.

Tell her not to go
near Kennawaukee Circle.

What? She didn't, she...

No.

Listen, there's a gas station
about a mile up.

Hansens. Hansens.

She has to go by there.
Phone ahead.

Tell them to stop her.

- Cooper back yet?
- No.

Get everything together quick.
We're moving out.

Hey!

Here they come.

It's Schuyler.

Go around.
Take the other road.

He's going to come down again.

Turn there.

The gate's closed, ma'am.

I remember the signal.
Toot twice, then once.

It's Cooper.
Open the gate.

Good afternoon, Mr. Finchley.
I've come for tea.

Well, you did invite me.

Oh, of course. Yes, indeed.

Tea.

Damn it, you're half one thing
and half another.

A fruitcake. Half fruit
and half nuts.

No.

♪ You'll follow ♪

♪ When and where
he leads you ♪

♪ His ♪

♪ Right to the end ♪

♪ To be whatever way ♪

♪ He needs you ♪

♪ Angel lover friend ♪

♪ To dream your dreams
with him ♪

♪ From day to day ♪

♪ To take to share
to give ♪

♪ Yes I'd say that would be ♪

♪ A lovely way ♪

♪ To live ♪

♪ Mmmm ♪

♪ Yes I'd say that would be ♪

♪ A lovely way ♪

♪ To live ♪♪