A Diva's Christmas Carol (2000) - full transcript

? Ooh... ?

? Mmm... ?

? As the season
wraps around us ?

? Like gifts around a tree ?

? I can't help but remember ?

? What Christmas used to be ?

? As the child
inside me wanders ?

? To a time I can't forget ?

? Where candy canes and magic ?

? Filled the days
that we shared ?

? And the truth
of those moments ?



? Still shines like a star ?

? For the joy
that lives inside them ?

? Is where the season starts ?

? 'Cause the heart
of Christmas ?

? Lies beyond
what we can see ?

? It's the love
that embraced us ?

? Like arms around our need ?

? Yes, that heart of Christmas ?

? Is so easy to find... ?

? When good will takes over ?

? The heart of... ?

Hey! You up there!

You trying to kill me, or what?

C'est coupe! Cut!



Well?!

Don't tempt me.

Ebony, cherie,
are you okay?

Ooh, I better be...

If my throat got scratched...

It's bad enough I'm stuck

in this cheeseball,
fake fur, Bigfoot getup.

I'm surrounded
by smelly brats.

It's hot as hell in here.

You people are starving me,
and my phone guy is missing!

You know, you don't actually
have to dump that toxic waste

down my throat

to make it look like
it's snowing in here!

Perhaps they didn't
teach you that

at the Academy
de la Minimum Wage!

Je ne comprends pas!

Bitch!

Hello.

Get over here now.

And for the 90th time,
can I get some French toast?

10:00 in the morning

I still haven't had
any damn breakfast.

And don't forget
the powdered sugar.

...a la prochaine prise.

English!

We are very sorry

for having too
much snow before.

Not as sorry
as you're going to be.

And you, what did I

tell you about
the water?

Didn't I say if I
step off the set

have a bottle of
water in my hand?

Am I off the set?

Is there water in my hand?

What about this one?

Right.

Empty hands.

Goez-vous and get me

a damn bottle of water,
s'il vous plait.

Ebony...

What? What?

What are you all
staring at?

Do I have to start yelling?

What the hell is that?

Oh, you asked
for toasted French bread.

French toast.
French toast!

For God's sake,
aren't we in France?

You know what?

Ebony.
Screw it.

I'll be in
my dressing room.

Merde! Ceci,
c'est un cirque.

Oh, quelle merdeuse!

Elle est folle,
ou quoi, alors?

Yves, Yves, I am
so sorry, she's...

She is a monster.

Everything they say
about her is completely true!

No, no, see, we have been
on the road for months.

She's tired.

We've been going city to city,
a show almost every night

most of us away
from our families...

Bob, Bob, this is fine,
but... French toast...

qu'est-ce que c'est
French toast?

What you do...
you take bread, right?

Well, actually, first,
you have to take...

You know what?
I'm going to go try

and get her
out of her dressing room.

Ebony.

These, these people have no idea
how to treat a superstar.

You're the one who wanted to do a Christmas video.

To move the single.

Christmas is a marketing machine
we cannot ignore.

I know that,
but when you're squeezing a video shoot

in the middle of a European tour,
it gets a little bit...

Ouch! Watch it!

For what
we're paying them

they can accommodate
a few simple requests.

Great. Now what?

It's me, Ernie.
Can I come in?

Cratch.
Ernie.

You know, uh, paychecks
were late again this week.

Yeah, we had to shuffle a couple of things around.

We're short
again, Ebony.

Now how can that be?

I'll look into it.

Hmm...

One minute it's there, the next minute...

Poof!
Wait, I've got an idea.

We'll have a Christmas concert.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
We'll have what?

When? Where?

Thank you.

You know, they're good.

We should take them on the road.

Whitney's got her own people,
so I...

E... the concert?

Christmas Day, New York City.

And since when do you
give a damn about Christmas?

A concert would promote
the hell out of the album

get a lot of good press.

So you're talking about,
like, a charity concert?

Hmm...

Just think of
the write-off.

A charity concert, mmm, yeah...

but, uh...

exclusive, intimate...
intimate setting.

Charge a fortune
for the tickets.

Tourists will pay anything
for a little holiday spirit.

Okay, and who
would it benefit?

So, how's the family
there, Bob?

My godson, little Tom?

Tim.

Whatever.

He's fine. About the concert--

you can't have it
on Christmas Day.

Oh?

We're off Christmas Day.

Your people want to go home
and see their families.

They've got the
next day off.

You can't do this.

Well, I just did.

Tickets will go on sale

tomorrow morning.

And how am I going
to tell everybody

that there's
no Christmas break?

I'm sure
you'll think of something.

I know.

It sucks.

I know.

I haven't been home
in four months.

Neither have I.
Yeah, but I have a kid.

Me, too.

Bob, I already
bought my ticket

home to St. Louis.
What am I going to do about that?

Well, you're just going
to have to change it.

But it's not worth flying home
for just one day off.

Well, that's going to have
to be your decision to make.

Look, your hotel in
New York is covered

for the two nights of Christmas.

Oh, great.

? On the two nights
of Christmas ?

? The diva gave to me ?

? Absolutely,
positively nothing! ?

She can't do this.
Hey, it's a charity concert.

Yeah, you know what?
Charity begins at home.

Well, can we at least
invite our families?

I mean, New York's

not such a bad place
to spend Christmas.

Um...

Oh, no, no, no, no.
Do not even tell me...

No tickets for the staff.

They're selling
every one.

I mean after all, it's a...

We know.

A charity concert.

I'll see you in Nice.

It's perfect.

We promise them
the proceeds

but when we deduct "legitimate"
production expenses

travel costs and financing fees,
we stand to make...

$1,276,000.34.

Not bad for one day's work.

Will that make up
for the shortfall?

I'm sure it will.

But does any money actually go to charity?

Absolutely.

I want to see
a picture of me

and one of those
giant checks

on the cover
of Billboard.

I'm sorry.

Bob, you promised you'd be home.

I thought that I'd be free.

Well, I need
some help over here.

I can appreciate that, Kelly

but you know I've got to work.

So where's this month's check?

We got paid late again.

Oh, you're just full
of good news.

Look, Kelly

you know the deal, okay?
Ebony...

Oh, Ebony, Ebony, Ebony.

That song is so old.

When are you going to learn?

When are you going to back off?

What is it with you and her?

Look... I don't want to have
this fight again, okay?

There's no point, is there?

I guess not.

Okay.

Can I talk to Tim?

Yeah. One sec.

Tim, it's your dad.

Any word from the doctor?

Well, he's still anemic

and his blood pressure's high,
so...

More tests.

When are they going
to figure out what's wrong?

That poor kid.

It's tough on all of us.

Well, here you go.

Daddy!

Hey, champ, how you doing?

I'm great. How's, um...

Paris, right?

Paris is okay,
but it's no Cleveland.

I can't wait for Christmas.

You still coming home?

I'm certainly
going to try, kiddo...

but, uh, we're getting pretty
busy here with work, so...

Won't Aunt Ebony let you
have a day off?

I wish she would

because I've been working
pretty hard

and I miss you bad.

Listen, do me a favor
and, uh, take care of your mom

for me, all right?

You betcha.

I wish I were half
as brave as he is.

Me, too.

Kelly, I love you guys

and I will see you soon.

But not for Christmas.

Kelly...?

I don't understand.

In the month
I've been with you guys

every show
was sold out.

She must be raking it in.

What's the deal?

She's just a miser.

I heard she melts down
her gold records for scrap.

Do you know, she won't even
let me get a new hairbrush

till the next
leg of the tour?

"Those brushes are $16 each.

If everyone got one
when they felt like it..."

Tell me about it!

I can't get new guitar strings.

I've been faking G for weeks.

What about that
hotel in London?

You know the
room is filthy

when you've got to pee

and you'd rather hold it
till you get

to the bus terminal.

Oh, well, Diva stayed
at the Park Lane.

I got a look at the rider once.

The promoter pays

for all of us to
be in good hotels

but she puts us in fleabags and pockets the rest.

Did she stay at different hotels
from Marli and Terry?

No, they were best friends.
Inseparable.

So what happened to Desire?

Marli died,
that's what happened.

Then she dropped Terry
like a hot potato.

Got herself a nice,
fat solo career.

Whatever became of Terry?

Who knows?

...writing a book on diva behavior along the way.

And now, after an extensive
tour of Europe

Ebony's returning
to New York City

for a special Christmas show.
Oh, this is us.

She'll perform songs from her new Christmas album.

So, let's go
back to 1988

when we got our first look

at Ebony and Desire.
No way!

Here's "Heartquake."

How is that for timing?

And five and six
and seven and...

Ooh! Don't move your lips
when you count.

Check out Marli.

Yeah, Ebony can barely
keep up with Terry.

Oh!

? You can't be serious... ?

I bet that look's coming back any second,
don't you?

If we're not careful,
it just might.

? Am I delirious,
or do I feel a heartquake? ?

? This is critical,
how much can I take? ?

? It's so electrical,
I know that it's a heartquake ?

? Love was a stranger,
never at my door... ?

If somebody moonwalks,
I'm going to lose my lunch.

? With love came a danger
I never felt before ?

? I was stopped ?

? In my tracks ?

? Too late... ?

You know,
I worshipped this album.

I wore it out.

That's why I was so excited to get this gig.

Tour with
the one and only Ebony.

I mean, come on...

tell me you didn't love this.

I have the 12-inch single.

? How much can I take? ?

? You can't be serious ?

? There must be some mistake ?

? Am I delirious? ?

? Or do I feel a heartquake? ?

? This is critical ?

? How much can I take? ?

? It's so electrical ?

? I know that
it's a heartquake ?

? You've got imagination... ?

Bon Avion appel le passenger Ebony Scrooge.

Ebony Scrooge, s'il vous plait.

I was paged.

You are Ebony Scrooge?

Just Ebony,
if you don't mind.

Tickets and
passport, please.

Thank you.

Funny, you look, uh,
thinner on TV.

Anyway, well, you know the
7:00 flight was canceled

so we are trying to accommodate

all the passengers
onto this flight.

And, uh, you seem to have
an extra first class seat.

What's the problem?

They want
my second seat.

Oh, uh, that seat's paid for.

The promoter always
buys two seats for Ebony.

Oh, so you are
the one sitting

next to Mrs. Scrooge?

No, no, I'm in coach.

Well, why, then,
do you need the...?

Because I can't spend
an entire flight to New York

having my ear yapped off

by some Formica salesman.

I need my space.
I need my privacy.

I need to be able to...

If you give up your seat,
we'll give you a voucher

for a first class ticket
anywhere we fly

and a full refund
for this ticket.

Cash?

Oui.

Deal.

Well...

Bob, of course,
if you want the seat...

No, no, I'm fine
with the band.

Just sign here,
please.

? We wish you
a Merry Christmas ?

? And a Happy New Year ?

? Everybody get together... ?

Maybe they drive
like that in Russia

but here, in the
United States

we drive with one foot on one pedal at a time.

I don't see why
you had to cancel the limo.

Because I'm not paying 100 bucks
for a ride from the airport.

Right.

Well, pay the man.

Right.

Please help
the poor.

Save it for the suckers,
Grandpa.

Merry Christmas,
ma'am.

Bob.

Yeah?

Where is everybody?

The screaming fans,
the reporters...

the usual?

I-I did just what you asked.

Switched the plans
and lied to the press

so you'd be left alone.

Well, I thought
you'd at least

leak it to Page Six--
There's nobody!

God, do I have to do
everything myself?

T-Bone, I don't want to be disturbed for at least three hours.

It's going to take that long to wash the Parisian stink off me.

The Princess Suite, ma'am.

I guess the Queen
wasn't available?

Well, some people

actually prefer the more
intimate setting of the...

Please.

Well, it'll do.

Oh!

So bright in here.

Don't scratch that bag.

Hey, not bad.

Olivia.

How'd you get past security?

T-Bone? Please.

Aunt Ebony, it's so
great you're in New York

for Christmas; now you
can come over for...

Come on, come on, come on.

I know you want tickets
for tomorrow night's concert.

On Christmas? Course not.

We've got friends
coming for dinner

and we're inviting
you, too.

Mmm.

For some lovely frozen turkey.

Supermarket pie.

Box wine.

Box wine?
I love box wine.

It's so easy to gift wrap.

Well, let me consider

your appealing offer
for a second.

Uh, mmm, no.

Well, suit yourself, Auntie.

But I'm just going
to keep on asking

and one of these days,
you'll remember

I'm the only family you've got.

And then you'll come
over for dinner

and give everybody
a heart attack.

Whatever it takes.

Merry Christmas, Ebony.

Merry Christmas. Right.

Hey.

I just saw Olivia.

You're going to be hanging
with her tonight?

Of course not.

Got to get some sleep.

I have A.M. America
tomorrow at 7:00

a photo shot at 8:00.

How often do you get
to see your only niece?

Family is an
accident of birth.

That is so beautiful.

Have you ever considered
writing for Hallmark?

Hey, it's Christmas.

You know, peace on Earth,
goodwill towards man?

Christmas exists for
one reason only--

to sell crap to the masses.

This year I happen to
have a Christmas album.

I'm trying to unload some
all about that holiday spirit.

Please.

If people were really interested
in peace on Earth

they'd be doing something
about it

instead of shopping
and overeating

and dressing up fat, old drunks
as Santa Claus.

Hello.

Cratch.

Ernie.

Ebony, I need you to sign
the contract for the charity.

Which charity
is that again?

Uh, the National Homeless
Coalition, of course.

Oh.

Any good?

Sure. They help the homeless.

I thought my tax dollars
built homeless shelters.

Rat holes.

Most people would rather die
than live in those shelters.

Some of them might be better off
if they did.

Hmm.

But, anyway

that's, uh,
that's who we're helping.

So how about you?

I know this isn't your
favorite time of year

what with Marli's accident
at Christmas.

Yeah, I'm fine.

I just need
a decent night's sleep.

Well, why don't you
try some hot milk

for a change?

Hey, Bob, you're not my daddy.

Hot milk.

I need sleep, not calcium.

Uh, yeah, I want to order
some dinner.

The Princess Suite.

Uh, spinach salad.

But make sure it's washed.

If I find one grain of sand
in it, I'm sending it back.

Seared tuna, but rare.

I want the inside blood red
or I'm sending it back.

And farfalla, but al dente.

If it's soggy...

No, if it's soggy

I'm coming down there
and shoving it up your...

You got it?

Charming.

Is there a snooze button
on that thing?

What the hell...?!

There are no earthquakes
in New York.

Room service.

The seared tuna and
al dente farfalla.

So dinner just got here.

What did I tell you
about the spinach?

There's enough sand in it
to make glass.

Well, somebody better
come up and get it

because I'm not eating it

and in five minutes,
it'll be on the wall.

Oh, now what?

Hey, I'm not paying for that.

Seven dollars for goobers?

Well, this is just unacceptable.

Hello!

Hello, get me the manager!

That was quick.

Boo.

Ebony.

Ebony, don't be afraid.

You know me, girl.

Like hell, I do.

I was your best friend,
your partner.

Sister, you need help.

I really am Marli.

Look, you may think
you're Marli

and maybe you look
a little like her

but you're crazy,
and Marli is dead.

You're telling me.

Look at this.

No way.

Way.

This Pharmalain's never
given me hallucinations before.

You know what?

You need to stop taking
those pills.

Now I'm getting lectured
by a hallucination?

I'm not an hallucination.

It's me.

I'm really here.

Really?

Marli?

I'll be damned.

You got that right.

Huh?

I'm here to warn you, Ebony.

About what?

You're going to
end up like this.

What? You haven't aged a day.

Because I'm dead.

No, it's worse.

Undead, stuck in limbo,
wandering forever.

Well, you don't look so bad.

Nothing a little Lancome
and Spackle can't fix.

This... this is for you.

This is what I
really look like.

Blech!

Well, I guess they don't
have facials in the afterlife.

Facials?!

Girl, no facials

no massages,
no body wraps

and you break your
nails every day.

No, not the nails.

Yes.

That's why I'm here,
Ebony-- to help you.

What, do my nails?

No, to save your soul.

Is this about the royalties?

'Cause we settled that.

If I wrote 65 % of the song

I get 65 % of the...

No, Ebony. I mean...

I think I'm way past
worrying about money now.

Well, then, you must be dead,
'cause nobody's past

worrying
about money.

And what's
with the get-up?

I thought you quit
the whips and chains

when you broke up

with that guy
from Paramus.

These chains are to remind me of my mistakes.

How I threw
away my life.

I'll say you did--
what a waste.

We were getting so big.

But how did we
use our success?

You know, what did we do
to help our own?

In the true business of life,
we were flops.

Mmm, that makes no sense.

Girl, I have tried--

Lord knows
I have tried

so many times to
reach you from...

wherever it is I am

and tonight,
I finally did

and I am telling you that
you have got to start...

What gives you the right
to tell me what to do?

What gives me the right?

We were best friends.

You tell me what
happened to that.

You ruined it,
that's what happened.

You pushed us out
of the spotlight.

Oh, so it's my fault.

Excuse me, I'm talking.

One minute,
we're a trio-- the next, Terry and I

are your backup singers,
and that hurts.

Oh, so it's my fault
you got into drugs?

Please.
You can't blame me for...

And you stood by.

You should have been looking out
for me.

How?

I tried,
but you wouldn't listen.

The more I told you to quit,
the more you did.

Because you were always...

I loved you

but there was
a business to run.

It's not my fault.

Well, where were you
Christmas Eve, 1990?

Where was I?

I was getting the news
that you got messed up

and wrapped your Porsche
around a tree.

Yeah, and I took
two innocent lives with me.

And what
did you do?

I cried my eyes out.

I've never gotten over that.

The very night I died,
you abandoned Terry

and started planning
your own solo act.

No, that's not true.

And I had to
watch all of it.

My hell is watching
you screw up your life.

Remember that showcase at Tramps
that Bob put together?

Yeah, that night
was make-or-break.

We did a good show,
we get signed

we choke, we be
history-- remember?

Yeah, we... we kicked butt.

Well, tonight is like that.

You're going
to be visited

by three spirits--
at 1:00, 2:00...

Ooh... tonight's no good.

Well, tough.

I have to get some sleep.

I have A.M. America at 7:00...

They're spirits; they don't
care about no talk show.

Oh, Marli

no one cares about talk shows.

Look at my calendar. I...

Damn.

That Pharmalain's
some powerful sh...

I got to get a new prescription.

Oh, yuck.

Room service.

I thought you were sending
a new order up right away.

It will be there
any moment.

Yeah, but I ordered it over...

Oh. Okay, you're there.

Good evening.

I better eat something
soon-- I am trippin'.

Yeah, I'm kind of
a klutz myself.

Hey, look what time
it is.

Did you see what...?

Let me guess.

You're the first spirit?

Was it the dress?

I hope you know you're
not getting a tip.

It's okay, I'm a spirit.

Our currency
is magic and creepiness.

Who are you, anyway?

Who am I?

Exactly.

Who are any of us--
I mean, really?

But, I digress.

Hi.

Ghost of Christmas Past.

What, like "chestnuts
roasting on an open fire"?

Uh, hope you're going
to be dressed warm.

It's going to be a
little cold where we go

okay, crazy lady?

I'm not going anywhere.

Already she's starting.

Gucci.

Not bad.

I got it free.

Last year, I had
to show Tom Ford

all his past
Christmases.

Well, now I got to change.

No time; we got to go.

Why are you really here?

To help you.

Well, you may
as well go, then

since the only help
I need

is a good
night's sleep.

No, no-- to save you, then.

But you're so... annoying.

And you're cranky.

Let's go, missy!

Whoa! What's happening?

Just another day
at the office for me.

My home town--
Paterson, New Jersey.

That explains
the smell.

Oh! No, it's a quaint
little town.

Well, take a good,
hard look.

In 20 years, this is all
going to be a strip mall.

There's Pat's.

Marli, Terry and I

used to hang out there
all the time.

Hey, Pat.

Pat!

I guess
he can't hear me.

See that basketball court?

My brother Ronnie and I used to play there every afternoon...

until...

Oh, there's Old
Man Miller's place.

And Mancone's Pizza.

Oh-- Roosevelt High.

I remember everything.

Really?
You'd never know.

Huh?

Oh, see this place?

The acoustics in the girls'
bathroom were perfect.

We used to sneak
in on league nights

and work out
our harmonies.

Right there.

Mrs. Healy?!

Mrs. Healy!

Why can't anybody
hear me?

Because these aren't

real people.

It's like... Los Angeles.

Oh.

Merry Christmas,
everybody!

Ho, ho, ho, ho!
Happy holidays!

Oh, there's Andy the
Fish, Scooter, Jackie...

Marli!

There's Marli!

And where's
little Ebony

during all
this excitement?

Oh, there you are.

Let's go inside.

Ah, no,
I don't want to.

Suit yourself.

? Do, re, mi, fa ?

? Sol, la, ti, do ?

? Do, ti, la, sol ?

? Fa, mi, re, do. ?

It's Christmas Eve,
and you're here practicing scales?

You must really love it.

Oh, yeah.

You should be
home on Christmas.

Home?

Song title.

Four words.

First word.

Down?

Floor? Feet?

House? Home?

Here.

"Here Comes Santa Claus"!

"Here Comes Santa Claus"!
"Here Comes Santa Claus"!

What did I tell you?

Keep it the hell
down out here!

Now, what the hell
are you crying about?

Leave her alone.

Who do you
think you...?

Girl, look, when I
tell you to shut up

I want you to shut up!

Git off me! Git!

Give me this thing here.

For the last time--

there's no Christmas
in this house.

There's nothing

to celebrate.

You see
any presents?

You see your mother anywhere?

You're lucky

you got a damn roof
over your head!

Now, you stop your crying,
or I'm going to give you

something
to cry about.

You hear me?

Children's Welfare.
May I help you?

No!

Ronnie! Ronnie!

No!

Ronnie! I don't want to go!

Please!

I'll be good.
No!

Don't make me go.
No!

Please!

Get in.

Please!

Ronnie!

Let's see
another Christmas.

Ebony.

Ronnie?

Ronnie!

Oh, God

I can't believe it.

What are you doing here?

I've come to take you home.

Home?

I can't go back there.

Eb-Ebony

I've been keeping
in touch with Dad.

He's been really good.

He stopped drinking.

If you just came home with us,
everything...

I can't forgive him.

How am I supposed

to ever trust him
again?

Of course, my dad
started drinking again

so Ronnie took off.

Got married straight out of high school,
had Olivia.

And then, just like
that, he was gone.

An aneurysm, can
you believe it?

First, you lost
Ronnie, then Marli.

His daughter really is
the only family you have.

You must spend a lot
of time with her.

I just saw her last night.

Uh-huh. Let's go--
another Christmas.

Hey, isn't there any other night
you can show me?

There was a New Year's in '95
that was really...

Oh, right, and that
Arbor Day in '96.

Whoo! They're
still talking.

Sorry, I just
do Christmas.

Problem is, you're
a little thin

on Christmases
worth remembering.

And that's my fault?

Well...

There's one.

What?

Nice. Takes attention
away from your face.

Was that a
backhanded insult?

And now,
Club 52 and WRKZ present

the number-one new R&B act
Come on, y'all.

In the nation.
One for all...

And all for one.

Ladies and gentlemen,
put your hands together

for Desire!
What is she doing?

? Oh ?

Whoo!

? Heartquake ?

? You can't be serious ?

? Must be some mistake ?

? Am I delirious? ?

? Do I feel a heartquake? ?

? This is critical ?

? How much can I take? ?

? It's so electrical ?

? I know
that it's a heartquake ?

? Love was a stranger ?

? Never at my door ?

? With love came a danger ?

? I never felt before,
I was stopped ?

? Stopped ?

? In my tracks ?

? Too late ?

? There's no turning back ?

? You've got imagination ?

? Let's put it to the test ?

? Tell me what I'm thinking... ?

Not bad.

"Not bad"?!

Well, the harmonies are
a little predictable

and the dancing's a little,
you know, dated.

What are you,
a critic?

No, no,
not professionally

but, where I hang out,
Billie Holliday duets

with Otis Redding

and last night, Marvin
Gaye and Tammi Terrell...

Nothing worse
than a cocky spirit.

? ...My heart begins to pound,
and then ?

? My heart stops ?

? Stops ?

? I can't breathe ?

? The room's too hot... ?

So, how come you do
mostly ballads now?

Mmm... it's what
the record company wants.

? ...Am I delirious ?

? Or do I feel a heartquake? ?

? This is critical ?

? How much can I take? ?

? It's so electrical ?

? I know
that it's a heartquake ?

? Where am I? ?

? What's it mean? ?

? It's out of control ?

? In my heart ?

? I like it ?

? So deep in my soul ?

? You can't be serious ?

? Must be some mistake ?

? Am I delirious ?

? Or do I feel
a heartquake? ?

? This is critical ?

? How much can I take? ?

? It's so electrical... ?

He's cute.

Who, Bob?

It seems like
such a long time ago.

? This is critical ?

? How much can I take? ?

? It's so electrical ?

? I know
that it's a heartquake. ?

Thank you.

Whoo!

Hi, everybody,
I'm Marli.

I'm Ebony.

I'm Terry.

And we are...

Desire!

Merry Christmas,
New York.

How are y'all doing?

1988 has been such an
amazing year for us

and we have all of you to thank.

Thank you so much.

And next week, we start
our first world tour

and we may be gone
for a long time

but no matter what happens to us

we will always remember
our first fans. Whoo!

Yeah.

Merry Christmas, everybody!

How you doing?

We're Desire,
and we got a song for you!

? Just hear those Sleigh Bells
ring-a-ling ?

? Ring, ting, ting-a-ling, too ?

? Come on, it's lovely weather ?

? For a sleigh ride
together with you ?

? Outside the snow is falling ?

? And friends
are calling "Yoo-hoo!" ?

? Come on, it's lovely weather ?

? For a sleigh ride
together with you ?

? Giddyap, giddyap, giddyap,
let's go ? ? Let's go ?

? Let's look at the snow ?
? Look at the snow ?

? We're riding in a wonderland of snow ? ? Wonderland ?

? Giddyap, giddyap,
giddyap, it's grand ?

? Just holding your hand ?

? We're gliding along
with the song ?

? Of a wintry fairy land--
Whoo! ?

Wow, you guys rock
the Christmas house.

? Can you feel it? ?

I forgot how perfect
that night was.

? Say what? ?

? Uh-huh, uh-huh, say what? ?

Well,
we got to go.

We're running
out of time.

Can't we stay
a little longer?

Hmm, let me consider
that for a minute.

Uh, um, no!

? Our cheeks are nice and rosy,
and comfy cozy... ?

Where are we going next?

I don't know yet.

Well, will you
make up your mind?

I mean, what if
you drop me?

That would suck for you.

It's a long way down.

Well, that's my point.

Let's find out.

Ah, relax.
I had you the whole time.

I-I...

I...

Don't worry.

I can't kill you... yet.

I'm not done with you.

Oh, that's comforting.

I don't understand.

We will see each other
every day.

So much is
happening, Bob.

We're both
going through

all kinds of changes.

I'm not.

I'm not changing at all.

I'm still exactly the same guy

and I feel exactly the same way
about you.

What about in a month,
when I'm busy all the time

and I'm being pulled in a
million different directions?

I'm not going to have
time for you and...

And nothing!

I love you.

I will understand.

I'll see you at night.

I will see you
on your days off.

I can wait.

E, you don't
have to do this.

And there'll be girls
throwing themselves at you.

How do I know I can trust you?

Me?!

Wh... you can't trust me,
or you can't trust yourself?

Same difference.

Things happen, you know.

"Out of sight,
out of mind"?

Don't throw cliches at me.

Just give me
a little space, okay?

There's another one.

Look, Bob, I am grateful

for everything
you've done for me.

I mean, I wouldn't even have
a record deal

if it wasn't for you.

This is not about a record deal!

It's not like I'm firing you
or anything.

I want you
on the road.

Fire me?!

I am your boyfriend

every bit as much
as I am...

How's this?

When the tour's over

we'll see how things are...
how we feel, okay?

He was just
the tour manager.

He wasn't good
enough for you.

Well, that's not it.

No, you were going
to be rich and famous.

You could find
someone better.

I never said that.

Or maybe you were just
afraid to lose him

like all the others.

I love you
for who you really are.

I knew you
when you were nobody.

What makes you think

you can find a love like that
again so easily?

I'm not looking for love.

I'm looking for success.

You coming?

Merry Christmas.

Oh, Bob...

Take me home.

I can't stand this.

Just one more.

? Deck the halls
with boughs of holly ?

? Fa-la-la-la-la,
la-la-la-la ?

? 'Tis the season
to be jolly ?

? Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la...

Just a sec.

Just a sec!

? ...our gay apparel ?

? Fa-la-la, la-la-la,
la-la-la ?

? Troll the ancient Yuletide carol ? Oh...

? Fa-la-la-la-la,
la-la-la-la. ?

Here you go, Terri-- your
special Christmas dinner.

There's no way
that's Terri.

Where are we
supposed to be?

When?

This is just a year ago.

Last stop on the tour.

Thank you, Mary.

That's really kind of you.

Terri, any
chance you could

come down to the shelter

and sing for everybody
this year?

I wish I could, honey

but my voice
ain't what it used to be.

It would mean
an awful lot

to the folks.

You're our most famous client.

Oh, God!

Well, listen,
I-I'll see what I can do.

I can't promise anything.

Thanks, Terri,
and Merry Christmas.

And you, too, sweetheart.

I had no idea.

How'd she end
up like this?

This isn't
Where Are They Now?

Okay, that's on later.

When was the last time
you checked up on her?

Did you ever give
her any money?

No.

She had her share.

It's not my fault
she blew it.

As far as I know,
she never worked again.

She tried.

She tried to start
a new Desire.

Well, I couldn't
let that happen.

Course not.

Your lawyers crushed her.

That's how she ended up
like this.

Oh, this place is
giving me the creeps.

Why won't you
accept responsibility?

Just get me out of here.

Don't blame me!

I'm just showing you
what's been.

I don't make this stuff up.

Well, I don't care.
Stop haunting me.

Stop being so hauntable!

Oh, you skinny bitch!

Did you say skinny?

Oh, never again.

What the hell...?

Outrageous.

If there's anybody in there,
you better open up.

You are messing
with the wrong bitch, now.

I'm going to call security
by the count of three!

One... two...

All right.

You better watch out.

I'm coming in.

Come on, come on.

Don't do this to me.

Just one more shot.

Who the hell are you?

Oh, hello.

Fancy a drink?

Mmm... guess not.

I said

who the hell are you?

Keep your shirt on.

I heard you.

You don't...
you don't recognize me, then?

No. What are you doing
in my room?

Having a party, baby.

What does it look like

I'm doing?

Who are you?

I'm the Spirit of
Christmas... Present.

Christmas presents?

No, not Christmas presents.

Christmas Present.

Everyone always gets that wrong.

Look, you can just call me...

...Steve.

Steve.

Just Steve.

The belch is silent.

And how did you
get in my room, Steve?

Holiday magic.

Well, how'd you get past T-Bone?

Oh, him.

He's sleeping
like a baby.

Really cute, too.

Look, uh...

Charming as it is
to hang around here

talking to you all night,
we got to hit the road.

So, uh, grab hold.

I will not.

We've not got all night.

There's a lot of stops
and not much time, so grab hold.

Well, stop saying that.

Am I going to have
to get nasty with you?

Oh, you mean, you get nastier?

I do.

Ooh, you've got nice soft skin,
haven't you?

Hang on!

? Noel, noel ?

? Noel, noel... ?

What a dump!

This is where your
people are staying.

Sweet, huh?

It was nicer
in the brochure.

Mm-hmm.

Well, look, it's
not that bad.

Look. They have their
own refrigerator.

Oh.

Well, still...

Why don't you put them
in a nicer place?

You have no idea
how much it costs

to keep a crew this size
on the road.

How much do you need?

When are you going to spread
a little around?

Ask my business manager.

No, I'm asking you.

It's Christmas Eve.

Look at this place.

Did somebody say, "Eggnog"?

Oh, no!

"This is the best
Christmas ever.

God bless us, every one."

Oh, shush.

Anybody for Chinese?

To our not so
benevolent...

dictator.

Ebony the Frozen-Hearted!

Hear! Hear!

Off with her head.

Hey, you, you're fired

Miss Thang!

Oh, have a
sense of humor.

They want to like you,
you know.

You don't give them
a chance.

It's Christmas Eve!

Hello?

Hey, it's me.

Me?

Me.

I'm sorry,
I don't know any "me."

Unless you're referring
to that husband guy

that I used to see.

All right, so it's not
our best Christmas.

Oh, no, it's great.

Santa's, uh, just left

and-and Rudolph's sitting
by the fire...

Come on, Kel,
it's just one night.

And how many do we have left?

What do you mean?

I mean Tim.

He's... well, the doctors
still don't know what it is.

He's tired.

He's not eating.

He's losing more weight.

He's weak.

He's sleeping all the time.

And when he does wake up,
he asks for you

and you're not here.

And I don't know what to do

because every time
I look at him, he looks worse.

Oh, I wish to God I was there.

Then get on the damn plane,
and come here.

I just got
to get Ebony

through the concert tomorrow,
and then...

Oh, to hell with Ebony.

You have a family!

How dare she...?

We would have nothing
if it weren't for Ebony.

And how do we cover
the medical bills if I quit?

I don't know, but...

You know I've had a good job
with her for 13 years.

She's been very generous.

Generous?

Ha!

Listen to me, Bob.

Your son is sick,
and your marriage

isn't looking
too healthy, either.

Now, may I suggest
that you get your ass home?

Right after the concert tomorrow

I will get on a plane...

I just hope it's not

too late.

Dad?

Dad?

Ye-- sweetheart, hey!

Is that you?

How are you?

I'm fine, Dad.

Don't fight with Mom.

She's just worried.

So am I.

I'll be okay.

I'm just tired.

Well, then,
do me a favor, kiddo

and get a little rest, huh?

And I will see you soon.

I love you, Daddy.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you, Tim.

I had no idea
Tim was so sick.

You had no idea
his name was Tim.

Will he live?

Not my department.

I'm Christmas Present.

Sure don't look good,
though, does it?

Oh, God.

What do you care?

Might be better off, right?

Can I go home now?

Hell, no.
Pardon the expression.

Let's see how everyone else
spends their Christmas Eve.

Ooh! Park Avenue...

Nice.

Yeah, this is how

your accountant spends
his Christmas Eve.

Hmm. I must pay
him too much.

Uh... Not exactly.

How about another toast
to my boss

my benefactress Ebony?

If she had any idea
how much she really pays me

she would choke and die.

Which wouldn't be
such a bad thing

considering
I've carved myself

a nice little piece
of her estate.

You're a bastard!

I'm a genius.

Oh, and so handsome, too.

Oh, I'm so glad you agree.

Yuck, what a creep.

Imagine, stealing from someone
who trusts you.

What a heartless
so-and-so.

Come on.

But, you see,
Christmas does suck.

Nothing but sickness and death
and dishonesty and...

At least you
got your fans.

Those losers.

Those losers bought
all 2,500 tickets

to your overpriced concert
in 11 minutes flat.

Where do you think
you'd be without them?

Oh, pick it up,
will you?

Hi, Bob.
How are you?

Merry Christmas, Bob.

Merry Christmas
to you, Mary.

Hi, how are you?

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Even these people have Christmas spirit.

They have nothing.

Not even a place to sleep,
but they know Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

On the bright side,
these are the folks

who will be benefiting
from your concert.

Don't forget to come
to the show tonight.

That's right.

How much will
they end up with?

Maybe enough for
a new blanket.

You must be so proud.

Hey!

How you doing?

You're invited, right?

What did she say next?

She said, "Come over for
your frozen turkey dinner

"supermarket pie
and box wine?

I don't think so."

That woman thinks

she's all that.

She's got no idea
what she's missing.

Well, if she'd rather have room service.

Honey, why do
you even bother?

For real, 'cause it's
a well-known fact

that your Aunt Ebony
is a full-on

master-class, diva bitch.

Hear. Hear.

You know,
I never liked him, anyway.

No, no.

She's... she's all right.

What?

You don't know.

She's had a tough life.
It makes you hard.

What are you talking about?

She has everything.

You know what?

She doesn't have this.

She doesn't have Christmas.

With everything
she's got, I pity her.

I would never want to be
in her shoes, live her life.

Never.

Here's to my Aunt Ebony.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no--
She may be mean

she maybe bitter

but I will keep inviting her
to Christmas

every year until she comes to join us for a meal

'cause she's family.

My father loved her,
and I love her, too.

You're an angel, baby.

Come on.

Now, how about
a good, old-fashioned

game of charades?

Come on.
You all know how to play.

Okay, Matt,
you're on.

I think we better get going.

Oh, please!
They're playing charades.

Just a few more minutes.

Okay, one round.

It's a song title.

Two words.

First word.

Chest.

"Best of My Love."

Pound.

Hit? Beat!

Come on!

Heart.

Uh...

Heart.

Heart?

The heartbeat!

"Heartbreak Hotel."

What? That's two words.

Second word.

"Heartquake!"

Klutz?
Uh, drunk.

Somebody-- "Heartquake."

Earthquake.

Oh, "Heartquake!"

Finally.

We really got to go.

I thought
you were the party animal.

Yeah, well,
your partying's over for one night.

Whoo! I'm finally
getting used to this.

Keep an eye out for
two things, Ebony:

ignorance and greed.

Both killers.

Sneak up on you when
you're not looking.

Ignorance, greed.
Got it.

Can I get you
a drink or, uh...?

Oh.

Bye.

Spirit Number Three,
right on time.

I'm ready for you.

Oh, it's you.

Yeah, look, I'm sorry
it's so late

but I didn't want to leave
without saying good-bye.

Leave? Where are you going?

I've got to get home.

Tim is sick, and Kelly...

Well, I need you.

You can leave
after the concert.

You don't understand.

Yes, I do.

No.

No. Look, I got to try
and catch the first plane.

Hey, Bob, you're
not a doctor.

There's nothing
you can do for Tim.

I don't see the point
in you rushing off to....

He is my son,
and I've got to see him.

Now, if you can't
understand that, Ebony...

I don't care.

You want to call it
a personal day, great

you want to call it quitting,
that's fine, too

but either way...

good-bye.

Hey, you can't walk
away from me!

After all I've do...

Oh!

With all that fame and success...

Come on, buddy.

The roads you crashed...

The nightmares, the headaches.

Do you have any regrets?

It's about time
they started to air this thing.

She burst onto the music scene as part of a pop R&B trio.

Did the interview
about six months ago.

Tragedy launched her

on a solo career
that made her a household name.

Charges of cruelty
and miserliness were made

but never stuck and she became
one of the biggest-selling

female artists in history.

Ebony: Behind the Music.

I'm not out to impress.

I'm out there doing my thing

and if people dig it,
that's great.

Just watching my show.

Coming up on Behind the Music

the remarkable life
and tragic death

of a diva.

What?!

Legions of fans

all over the world
bought her records

and attended
her legendary live performances.

Even those who knew her best
were in awe of her talent.

Ebony was a great artist.

One of the most important
in the history of my label.

Oh, Ebony always knew

that she wanted
to be successful

above and beyond anyone else
or anything else in her life.

She was a great singer...

Great.

And she'll continue
to be important.

I mean between "best of" albums

dance re-mixes,
the unreleased songs

there's going to be

Ebony music for years.

So many were saddened to hear of Ebony's death

from fans to stars, including

one of the top artists
in the music business.

I'll never forget how
it all went down.

I heard that Ebony was recording
a song of mine

and I was thrilled.

Her albums always
shipped gold, minimum.

And then I heard that she died.

I was crushed.

What he didn't know was that

Ebony had recorded a demo
of the song just the day before.

We rush-released it
as a memorial single.

And it went through the roof.

It was great.

And the workers are just about

finished with the new pool.

Thanks, Ebony.
I'll never forget you.

You bastard!

Of course, it's always tragic

when an artist dies so young,
but ultimately

I have to say it's the best
thing that could have happened.

Better now than later,
that's for sure.

You know, she's worth ten times
as much dead as she is alive.

Ten times?!

Make that 20.

I'll have your head for this.

Ebony's fierce temper was well-known.

Who let this guy...?

Get the... get your camera
out of here.

There was an incident
that I remember.

She pissed a director off
so much

that he actually
smashed six television sets.

One time, she fired
her personal staff

for making eye contact with her
and not backing out of the room.

Remember the time Ebony
stole Mariah Carey's dress

at a TV taping?

That poor girl.

Had to go out
in her underwear.

That's not true...

exactly.

Luckily, nobody noticed.

I heard she once fired her cook
for eating some of her food.

Her cook.

He stole a rib roast.

I think it's great

that she'll be remembered

but thank God we don't
have to deal with her.

I mean, great singer...

Nice butt.

...but such a bitch.

She smelled really bad.

Oh, you're all fired.

That's why I quit.

You know, some people say
she even took out Marli Jacob.

I never believed that rumor.

Cut the brake line.

Anyway, that's, uh,
just what I heard.

That is terrible.

But the fans never abandoned her.

When a cache
of Ebony's personal possessions

hit the collectors' market

price seemed to be no limit.

We were lucky to come across
Ebony's personal diary.

Very juicy stuff.
Oh, what a nightmare!

I mean, we're talking
deepest fears

emotional insecurities,
the real inside dirt.

Quite a find.

Of course, the book

will be published this fall.

An advance copy
of the book was leaked

by one her closest friends
and confidants.

Oh, no.
Don't read from my diary.

"July 14th:

"I've really got to break it off
with Anne Heche.

"What's fun at a party
isn't a relationship..."

This is insane.
I'm not dead. I'm right here.

Ebony:
millions of records, millions of fans...

...a treasury of songs
we'll never forget.

But what about those
who knew her best?

Hey, let me out of here!

Will I miss Ebony?

I'll miss the gig,
I'll tell you that much.

Well, I really
can't comment on Ebony.

My lawyers have advised
against it.

I miss Ebony.

She was an enormous part
of my life.

No! This can't be!

I don't know that I can ever forgive her, though, um...

We were out on tour, and she
never really gave us time off

and because of that...

I was away the day that, uh,
my son Tim...

...died.

I'm sorry, can we, uh...

can we stop this?

But all this hasn't happened.

This whole show...

Oh, God, of course.

They're not really
talking about me.

There's some kind of mix-up.

I'll just call them
in the morning

and straighten things out

as soon as I'm done
with A.M. America

and the photo shoot.

It's a simple mistake,
obviously.

They... They're probably really
talking about Celine Dion.

It is Celine Dion!

Rest in peace, Ebony,
rest in peace.

No!

Not Bette Midler!

This isn't true!

None of this has happened!

I can stop it from happening!

This doesn't make sense!

Why show me if I can't
do anything about it?

I've learned my lesson!

I have! I'll change!

Just give me a chance!

I swear it!

I'll keep Christmas!

I will!

I'll keep it all year long!

Every freaking day
will be Christmas!

I love Christmas!

Really!

Please, I can change!

No, I will! I'll listen!

I'll...!

What the...?

What day is it?

You there, boy... hello!

Yes, you, you.

Who the Dickens
you calling "boy"?

I'm sorry

I don't have
my contacts in yet.

What day is it?

Hey, aren't you
Ebony the singer?

Yes, yes, yes, but I need to...

You look much thinner on TV.

Please, what day is it?

Hey, it's Ebony.

I'll be damned.

Wait till
I tell my wife.

It's Christmas all day.

Was A.M. America on yet?

Oh, let me look at the wide
screen TV in the back.

Damn, girl, I don't know.

It's 6:15 in the morning.

Great.

I've got time.

Whatever.

Excellent.

Okay, okay.

Hello?

Kelly, it's Ebony.

I'm so sorry
to wake you up this early

in the morning,
but it's important.

What's wrong?

Nothing, just, uh

I need you to do
some things for me, okay?

You have a pen?

Now calling rows 27 through 36

for Eastern-Atlantic Flight 801
to Cleveland.

If you are sitting in rows...

57th and Tenth.

Come on, come on, come on.

Answer the phone.

Oh, Bob, please.

What?

Bob?

Please do not
get on that plane.

We've been through this.

I know, I know... I know
exactly why you want

to go but I'm asking you
to trust me just one more time.

Please stay.

I can't.

I've got everything
under control.

I swear, just wait there

and I'll explain everything,
but don't leave.

Ebony, if you're trying....

Bob, believe me...

I know you have absolutely
no reason to trust me

but I promise...

I won't let you down
if you do.

Please?

And Bob?

Yeah.

Merry Christmas.

Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas.

...four, three, two...

This is A.M. America.

20 minutes past the hour,
and we are back with Ebony.

And I just want
to wish everyone

a Merry, Merry Christmas.

Well, thank you.

Now listen, this CD

Dreaming of
an Ebony Christmas.

It is one of the biggest
holiday albums this year.

And I'm so grateful
to all of my fans.

Well, it is also...

the first CD with the new
$25 retail price.

Oh, yeah, I'm-I'm
very sorry about that

uh, but starting tomorrow

I-I'm sending
thousands of copies

to children's hospitals
all over the country

a-and I will buy
stereos for those

that don't have any,
and when I'm on the road

I'm visiting sick children
in every city we play.

That's great.

Well, what else can I do?

I beg your pardon?

Well, I'm just really
open to ideas right now.

It sounds like you're
already going to be pretty busy.

Oh, Heather, it's so important
that I give back something now

while I have the chance.

Words we can all live by.
Thank you.

When we come back,
Ebony is going

to sing for us...
You know

I'm really serious

about that ideas thing.

Merry Christmas.

This is the final call

for Eastern-Atlantic Flight 1600
to Cleveland.

All passengers should be
boarding at this time.

Once again,
Eastern-Atlantic Airlines

announces final call
for Flight 1600 to Cleveland.

All ticketed passengers...

How many tickets you got for the Ebony concert tonight?

You know that show's
sold out.

Well, how many you got?
They ain't cheap.

You do have tickets
for tonight, don't you?

Hey, anybody ever tell you,
you look just like...

Maybe I should try the place
across the street.

I got 12. $3,000 each.

I'm going need
a lot more than 12.

Well, I could call
my brother's place.

Go ahead.

You realize this is going
to cost you like, uh...

Do you take
American Express?

Yeah.

Call your brother.

It's turkey dinner for 100.

Well, yes, tonight.

But Wolfgang, sweetheart

you're the best chef
in the world.

Well, if I can't
trust you to do it

who can I turn to?

I need you, darling.

Ladies and gentlemen

Flight 1017 to Cleveland
has been canceled

due to equipment trouble.

Some passengers
might be rebooked

onto the next available flight
sometime later this afternoon.

To the rest of you,
Merry Christmas.

Okay, guys

invite whomever you want.

If you need a lift
or a plane ticket

just tell Ernie;
he'll take care of it.

Right, Ernie?

Do you have any idea
what this is going cost?

Right, Ernie?

Yes, just ask me.

Right.

Aunt Ebony.

Is the invitation still open?

If not

I can...

No, of course. Come in.

Everybody, this...

is my favorite aunt.

Your only aunt.

Come to spend Christmas with us.

Well, I can't stay.

I have a concert tonight.

Hold on.

What's going on here?

Well, I wanted to see you
and give you these presents.

What's wrong?

What do you need?

I don't need...

Well, that's not true.
I do need something.

I need you to accept
my apology

to accept me
into your heart.

I've been so blind for so long

and... I'm just so sorry.

Baby, you going
to tell her?

What?

I'm pregnant.

You're going to be

a great aunt.

I am! Oh!

Oh, I am going to be

a great aunt, you'll see.

So, you sure
you won't stay?

Well, maybe for one game
of charades.

Okay.

Here.
Great.

Bob?

Bob?

Oh, thank God I caught you.

What is going
on here?

Bob Cratchett... I need
to tell you something.

I...

I... I... just, uh...

I love you so much

and you're the best friend
I've ever had.

And there is nobody...

and nothing more important
in the world to me than you.

Now...

Oh, my God.

Oh...

I missed you so much.

My little godson.

Wait a minute,
what's wrong?

From now on,
I'm taking personal responsibility for you.

Ebony flew us in.

I-I don't understand.

I met with the top guys
at Children's Hospital

and showed him the information Kelly faxed me.

They're going to take
great care of him.

They're the best.

You're going to be
just fine, aren't you

little buddy?

I sure am.

That's right.

And listen, you...

you're on vacation
as of right now.

Take all the time you need.

The most important thing is that you and Kelly help Tim get better.

These are for you.

Hotel, theater tickets,
everything.

You can't sit in the hospital for 24 hours a day.

You might as well
enjoy New York.

I don't know what to say.

Please, it's the
least I can do.

E, I mean, how do I...?

Bob.

Thanks for everything.

I mean everything.

Merry Christmas.

Merry, Merry Christmas.

This is really
some kind of spread.

More stuffing?

Please, no. I'm stuffed.

And I still have to fit
into that little gold dress.

I'll have more stuffing.

How about some champagne?

How about
after the show?

Don't you just love Christmas?

15 minutes, everybody,
15 minutes.

I got to get
into my little dress.

Thanks.

Who was that woman?

Ladies and gentlemen

please welcome
the one and only Ebony!

Hello, New York!

Merry Christmas.

Thanks to all of you
and your tremendous generosity

this concert tonight has raised
over $1 million for charity.

And every single penny
of that money

is going to charity!

By the way, Ernie...

you are so fired.

W-What's going...?

E-Ebon...? Wh... Wh...?

Honey, help me.

Merry Christmas, Ernie.

Wha...?

No. I want my lawyer!

Anyway, with one thing
and another, this and that

the whole spirit
of Christmas thing

kind of got away from me
for awhile

and then I had a really
bad night's sleep last night

but you know what?

Sometimes all it takes
is a bad night's sleep

to make your head straight.

Everything seems so clear
in the morning.

So let's hear it for Christmas.

All right.

Hit it!

To my band.

You guys are the best

in the whole wide world.

? As the season
wraps around us ?

? Like gifts around the tree ?

? I can't help but remember ?

? What Christmas used to be ?

? As the child
inside me wanders ?

? To a time I can't forget ?

? Time I can't forget ?

? Where candy canes and magic ?

? Filled the days
that we shared ?

? And the truth
of those moments ?

? Still shines like a star ?

? For the joy
that lives inside them ?

? Is where the season starts ?

? Where the season starts ?

? Because the heart
of Christmas ?

? Lies beyond
what we can see ?

? It's the love
that embraced us ?

? Like arms around our need ?

? Yes, that heart
of Christmas ?

? Is so easy to find ?

? When goodwill takes over ?

? Goodwill takes over ?

? The heart of mankind ?

? The heart of Christmas ?

? Is so easy to find ?

? When goodwill takes over ?

? Goodwill takes over ?

? The heart of mankind ?

? Yeah, yeah ?

? Heart of mankind ?

? Ooh! ?

? Yeah, yeah, yeah. ?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Now, let's go back to 1988.

Let's see if y'all
remember this song.

Put your hands together.

? Just hear
those sleigh bells jingling ?

? Ring-ting-tingling, too ?

? Come on, it's lovely weather ?

? For a sleigh ride
together with you ?

? Outside the snow is falling ?

? And friends
are calling "Yoo-hoo" ?

? Come on, it's lovely weather ?

? For a sleigh ride
together with you ?

? Giddyap, giddyap,
giddyap, let's go ?

? Let's go ?

? Let's look at the snow ?

? Look at the snow ?

? We're riding
in a wonderland of snow ?

? Wonderland ?

? Giddyap, giddyap,
giddyap, it's grand ?

? Just holding your hand ?

? We're gliding along
with the song ?

? Of a wintry fairyland... ?

Y'all want to see an old friend?

'Cause when you sing old songs

it's good to have
old friends around.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Miss Terry Freeman!

? Our cheeks are nice and rosy,
and comfy cozy are we ?

? We're snuggled up together ?

? Like two birds
of a feather would be ?

? Let's take the road before us
and sing a chorus or two ?

? Come on,
it's lovely weather ?

? For a sleigh ride
together with you ?

? Giddyap, giddyap, giddyap,
let's go ? ? Let's go ?

? Let's look at the snow ?
? Look at the snow ?

? We're riding in a wonderland of snow ? ? Wonderland ?

? Giddyap, giddyap, giddyap,
it's grand ? ? Oh ?

? Just holding your hand ?

? We're gliding along
with the song ?

? Of a wintry fairyland... ?

Whoo!

? Just hear
those sleigh bells jingling ?

? Ring-ting-tingling, too ?

? Come on, it's lovely weather ?

? For a sleigh ride
together with you ?

? Outside the snow is falling ?

? And friends
are calling "Yoo-hoo" ?

? Come on, it's lovely weather ?

? For a sleigh ride
together with you ?

? It's lovely weather for a
sleigh ride together with you ?

? Lovely weather
for a sleigh ride together ?

? Lovely weather
for a sleigh ride together ?

? Ooh! ?

? With you! ?

Mmm...
There you go.

Thank you.

You guys are going
to love this one.

Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.

And you, too.

She's ready for hers.

Thank you.
All right.

And you look so good.

Hey!

Look who it is.

It's Tim. Big Tim!

Ooh, hey!

Big Tim!

Come here.

Oh, who's that, huh?

Yes!

Be careful.

I may be a sweetheart now

but nobody pees on the diva.

Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT PICTURES

? Oh... ?

Whoo!

Heartquake!

? You can't be serious ?

? There must be some mistake ?

? Am I delirious ?

? Or do I feel a heartquake? ?

? This is critical ?

? How much can I take? ?

? It's so electrical ?

? I know that
it's a heartquake ?

? Love was a stranger ?

? Never at my door ?

? With love came a danger ?

? I never felt before ?

? I was stopped ?

? In my tracks ?

? Too late ?

? There's no turning back ?

? I got the picture ?

? And I got the sound ?

? Every time you're near me ?

? My heart begins to pound ?

? And then I start to shake ?

? Please stop ?

? How much can I take? ?

? You can't be serious ?

? There must be some mistake ?

? Am I delirious ?

? Or do I feel a heartquake? ?

? This is critical ?

? How much can I take? ?

? It's so electrical ?

? I know
that it's a heartquake ?

? You've got imagination ?

? Let's put it to the test ?

? Tell me what I'm thinking ?

? See if you can guess ?

? I want you now... ?