7 xiao fu (1986) - full transcript

I'll be late!

My detective, let me
have a good time, okay?

Hurry up or it'll be late!

But your parents instructed me
to protect you before they left.

I'll be safer without you. Hurry, or I'll jump!

Yes Sir!

Wait, what are you doing, detective?

It's already embarrassing enough,
you just wait in the car.

Yes Sir.

The Seven Lucky Kids are the toughest!

Get back in there and don't follow me.



Yes sir! Right turn!

Hey, Rocky, what do they
call you in the states?

Rambo.

Huh, Ramba?

No, no, it's Rambao!

Your English is pretty good, Rocky.

I can't stand him speaking English.

Judy is really disgusting,
she even has a westerner's name too.

Shut it!

Attention!

Attention!

I am your squad leader. Call me Rocky.

In the states | am Rambo.

What are you all laughing at?



Showing some teeth?

Judy!

Yes sir!

Fatty!

Yes!

Bragger!

Yes!

Dumb Dumb!

Dumb Dumb!

Sir, it's Dummy, not Dumb Dumb!

Dummy!

Yes!

Two-Tooth!

What's up?

Yes!

Hsiao Mao!

Yes, yes.

Don't answer back like that.

Yes, yes.

Hsiao Mao!

Yes!

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven!

The Seven Lucky Kids are the toughest!

Oh, my belly, my belly, my belly...

Same old tricks!

Come up with something else next time.

You're fat and still eating.

Do you know how you're going to die?

From obesity!

So what, | won't be that fat!

Where're we going for lunch?

Ladies first.

It's all the same to me.

Disgusting!

It's not disgusting enough!

| prefer the vendors. Cheap and tasty!

You go there yourself!

| suggest we go to a restaurant.

Do you really mean it?!

Yes.

Thanks.

Excuse me.

What would you like, sir?

Ladies first.

Anything will do.

You, sir?

| know what he wants.

How would you know?

I can tell, you only want pretty girls.

Judy, let's have a steak, okay?

Okay.

Two steaks.

Yes. And you, sir?

Me? I'd like two-steaks too.

You're having two steaks for yourself?

Two-steak means two steaks, dummy.

I can't order one for Hsiao Mao?
Just ask him.

Yes, yes.

| guess, steaks for everyone.

| also want a stewed egg.

Sorry, but we don't serve stewed eggs.

How do you like your steak?

How do | like the steak?

I like all steak.

Medium.

Yes, sir.

You want a medium?!

Don't make fools out of yourselves.

I guess we will all have medium.

Yes, sir.

Did you bring it?

Is the money here?

I'd like to take a look first.

I'd like to see the money first.

Don't worry.

You know, my reputation
has always been...

Really sorry.

Guns?

I lost them.

I'll deal with you later.

Forget it. What do you need to use it for?

Sir!

The money.

Sir!

Excuse me, miss.

You...

Pardon me.

Wait. Look under the table.

Strange, we always have stewed beef.

How come it's fried?

Hey, Dummy, do you
know how to eat a steak?

You think you're the only one?
Fatty, show him how it's done.

Easy, it's like eating a hamburger.

Take a bread and put the steak in it.

-My bad.
-Crazy man.

Hey, bring the money here.

Don't get me wrong, it was an accident.

You crazy man, you're insane!

My steak, look...

You again? | told you not to come!

Don't get me wrong, it's not my fault!

It was an accident!

I'll beat you!

The Seven Lucky Kids are advancing!

Jeez, what a bunch of lunatics!
I couldn't even eat my steak.

Man, grownups told us
not to fight and they're fighting?

Yup, old people fighting all day long.

Listen up, those thugs had guns!

Girls are always nosy.

Shut up!

Judy, we shouldn't involve ourselves.

In the states, thugs are
always using firearms.

You're all nothing but a bunch of cowards!

Yes, yes.

We're all cowards here with a tomboy.

It's all your fault!

I just happened to pass by.
It's not my fault, miss.

Just get lost!

Yes, Sir! Left turn! Bye-bye!

Jeez.

Acting like you're the boss around here.

Simpleton.

You...

You didn't finish the job,
and you have balls to show your face?

I'll take the punishment.

No complaints about it.

Absolutely none.

No complaints, huh?

Dummy, Simpleton.

Brother?

What are you guys doing?

Cut his stomach.

I'll do whatever you say.

Tough guys.

Take the gun and sword and clean them.

Yes sir.

Alright, I'll give you another chance.

Bring the diamond here,
do whatever it takes!

Sir!

I'm their target.

Take the diamond.

We'll meet up in the same place.

I'll be wearing a flower.

Okay.

Hurry.

Did you touch my butt?

You're mistaken, this is all fair.

Fair? Then this is all fair!

Was | wrong again?

Let me see that, Dummy.

Take it.

It's no fun, have it back.

You little devil!

Why did you hit me, you crazy?

Dummy, what are you
thinking about? Your family?

Jeez, awomen just slap me for no reason.

How come?

I don't know.

My grandpa says all
women are troublemakers.

Hey, Dummy, look!
The thugs are over there!

-Where?
-There! Let's go take a look. Come on!

Over there, Dummy!

It was him.

Hold on, it's not my fault.

Wait.

Are you crazy!

Great!

Dummy, you go over there
and I'll go over there.

Uncle, does it hurt, does it hurt?

Miss, please take this to Chiang Helen.

Who's Chiang Helen?

A women with a flower on her chest.

Where is she?

She is... Sheis...

He's dead!

Kid!

Stop sleeping, stop sleeping!

For what?

A man died in there!

Really? Where?

Just come follow me
and you'll see. Come on.

Right here.

-He's gone?
-Who's dead?

He was here. I'm not lying to you.

He could be upstairs.

Are you making fun of me?

Get out...

You're still young
and just messing with me.

You're adumb man, you dummy.

You only know how to play cards a sleep.
You don't even know a man just died.

Come on!

Go!

There!

Hey, over here!

-Where?
-This way!

Haven't you seen a women before?

What, making a pass on me?
Looking at me?

Come on! Let's go.

It's them.

It's over, Dummy!

Where?

Let's go, Judy!

This way!

Dummy, split up!

Shame on you, pervert!

My bad, I didn't mean to.

My bad, I didn't mean to.

Come on, come on!

I'm a model.

The American leader is Reagen.

The Libyan leader is Gaddafi.

Gaddafi made fun of Reagen,

so Reagen sent carriers to bombard him.

Gaddafi is accusing him of murder.

Mothering.

Traffic has been bad
since the subway began.

Especially on Sundays and holidays.

There are also troublemakers too.
Of course, we're nothing like that.

To fulfill our duties,
don't worry, | have always been...

Worthless.

-Worthless.
-Where?

| shot one down.

No, two shots.

Have you seen the kung fu kids?
They're really tough.

Nowadays, there are some tough kids,
the Seven Lucky Kids.

They know a variety of martial arts,
like the "running away".

Is it true?

Then you should be more careful.

However, | still managed
to encounter them.

Because | didn't have
the luck is why | lost them.

And the diamond?!

They got away with the diamond.

You really are good for nothing!

I've given you two chances
and you still don't have the diamond!

Just what are you doing?!

Killing time.

It's not that simple!

-Dummy, Simpleton,
-Yes sir.

I'll also going!

He's also going.

That man, before he
died, gave me a diamond.

Is it true, Dummy?

1 didn't see it.

I know you're lying for making us wait.
We've been waiting for a while.

They still want to hear more, Fatty.

Yes, yes.

The thugs then chased
Dummy and I, it was thrilling.

I ran so fast.

I wouldn't be here is it wasn't for him.

No way it's all true.

-That's right.
-Judy,

Is this diamond for real?
Because the way it looks looks real.

Stupid boys! Stupid!

Who's that?!

What do you want?!

-I don't know.
-Stupid guys!

Try again.

What are you knocking for, crazy men?!

Tomboy.

Tomboy!

He's calling me names.

-Does it matter?
-Brother came with us.

You ask for everything.

-Simpleton,
-Yes.

-Just do what | do.
-Yes!

Hold it, all of you!
Give me the diamond!

Simpleton, don't do it!

I'll do what he does!

Those thugs came here for the diamond.

This could be true.

Strange.

What is this, trying to hold a man?

Shame on you.

Thanks for helping me.

| sent you guys up there,
where were you heading?

We always try to get the
job done as soon as possible.

We just finished.

And the diamond?

We were a little too fast,
we didn't see anyone.

They must still have it.

Thanks.

And | still have to be there myself!

And he still has to be there himself.

-Is this the one?
-It's the one.

They're here!

Hold on to this tightly.

Our brother is more smart.

Shut up! What's the brother for?

They asked for trouble themselves.

Yeah, make them eat it.

You two hold on tight.

Dummy!

What were they doing?

Who cares about what they're doing,
Let's go skating.

Let's go skating!

Strange, they got in and went out there.

They gotin and now they're gone.

Where are they?

I've never seen this before.

I'm checking this out.

Strange.

| never saw you leave,
so how did you get in?

Where's the kids?

Skating... err... I don't know.

Find them.

-Now it's my turn.
-Hands up.

Nothing, brother.

Did you steal it?

Steal what?

-Dummy,
-Yes!

Tell him.

Don't touch me, don't touch me!
I'll tell you everything!

Please.

Look, Fatty.

What for?

Over there, Judy is acting silly.

No wonder the thugs chased after her.

I'm going to make fun of her.

Be nice if you can't do it yourself, Fatty.

Are you alright, Fatty?

I'm alright, it was nothing.

No taste.

And you're a silly girl
skating like you're dancing.

Why? | like it.

No wonder the thugs chased you.

It's none of your business.

Don't worry, it'll be alright.

They should be dead
jumping from the twelfth floor.

Rocky knows me best.

-Disgusting!
-Hey, Judy.

What's up with the diamond?

That man wanted me to give it
to awomen with a flower on her chest.

Her name is Chiang Helen,
| have to give it to her.

Where is she?

...I don't know yet.

-I knew it!
-All lies!

Fatty! Simpleton!

Yes!

Speaking of the devil, here he is.

Hey, you're not dead?

It's not that easy?

It's strange that you're still skating here.

Yeah... ska... you're... still skating here.
You should be in the army.

We wanted to.

-Where's the diamond?
-l don't know.

-Get them!
-Yes Sir!

Dummy, Dummy!

What?

Those thugs are here!

-What are you doing?
-Skating.

Get them!

Over there! Look!

Strike!

What did you hit me for?

Why are we laughing?
We should do something.

They can't even stand.
Are you afraid of them?

Okay, the winner is the first one
and the loser is the last one.

Stop playing around.

Hey, let's play football.

Brother, | don't want to be a soldier.

All finished!

You should say, they're all
finished, you dumb-head.

Brother, brother...

...you can be the soldier now.

Idiot! Why not sooner?

-Brother, how can | become a soldier now?
-Try to do it yourself.

Damn!

Shame on you for bringing those.

Why? Show your weapons!

We don't want to show them it.

What are you guys thinking about? Stupid!

All defeated!

All in one stroke!

Simpleton!

I don't want to be a soldier!

Idiots!

Damn!

Damn them.

Damn!

Hey, damn them!

Damn!

Damn!

Damn!!!

There he is again.

What? Where are they?

No, it's that swordsman.

Judy, that diamond has
brought us nothing but trouble.

We should sell it so we have some money.

-Yes, yes.
-No way, we have to give it to Chiang Helen.

There is so many women,
where would we find her?

A women wearing a flower on her chest.

That's right.

We could split up and
go our separate ways.

Look!

-The American girl is pretty.
-Fatty, she's wearing a flower.

Hey, Dummy, ask her.

I only know A, B, and C.
How can | ask her?

Rocky, ask her since you know English.

Hi.

What's your name?

Helen.

Helen is her name.

Ask her her surname.

What's your father's name?

John.

| see. John is Chiang.

Hey, ask if she has a mole on her leg.

May I... May I...

-Just shut up if you can't say it!
-Can't you say it?

-It's really embarrassing.
-It's so easy.

What do you want?

She can speak Chinese?
| should have known it.

Shame on you, pervert!

That's him.

-What? Little bastard!
-Hey, his father is over there.

How come your son is
such a shameless kid?

Why are you laughing?

Didn't you see your son
making a pass on her?

You're mistaken, it's not my fault.

Then tell me who is to blame!

Of course. It's the parent's fault.

Why are you laughing?

Ma'am, you're wearing no bra.

You dare follow me again, dummy?

That women was irritating.

My grandpa said that all
women are troublemakers.

What?! I'm still a kid!

Hey, look.

A women with a flower!

You little pervert!

Did you see it?

No.

Let's go find out.

Nice to meet you all.

Have a seat.

All the women are wearing flowers.
What should we do?

Check if they have a mole on their leg.

| have an idea.

Today's topic is, how
to deal with a pervert.

A pervertis a sick man.

We can take care of them ourselves,
as long as we know how to.

When we encounter one,
stay calm and don't panic.

How do we spot a pervert?

Good, I'm well experienced to tell you.

They're always in the same clothes.

They all wear a cloak because
they don't want to face people.

They also wear a pair of dark glasses and a
hat, and have a distinctive scent on their body.

It smells like nasty water.

Show yourself!

Speaking of the devil himself.

Don't panic.

Just watch how | handle this

First, we have to set a firm posture.

Talk as if you were angry.

What do you want?!

—Walt|

-He would say | didn't mean to offend you.
-Yeah, | didn't mean to offend you.

-What are you doing here?
-lam...

Stop!

-He would then say, please listen to me.
-Yes, please listen to me.

We can't sell into it,
we've got to handle him first.

You shameless pervert!

A rat!

Did you see it?

No. No.

There's one we didn't check. Pao Su!

-Come on, let's go!
-Don't get me wrong, It's not my fault.

You pervert!

Brother, | couldn't find them in this hotel.

Fatty, what are you doing.

My mom said we'll get sore eyes this way.

So many women with flowers but
none of them had a mole on their leg.

You guys, look.

A women in red!

Oh, disgusting!

This is not just disgusting too!

Wow! Such a big flower on her chest.

But the flower is on the wrong person!

That's a big mole.

And it's on a really big ham!

She is Chiang Helen!

Who's calling my name?

Who's calling my name?
Who's calling my name?

-So you are Chiang Helen?
-Yes, sir.

You look familiar.

You're right. I'm Chiang Helen,

They call me the Great Flower.

Is it true?

Of course, allow me to prove it.

There is a mole on my leg.

I'll get sick looking at it!

Chiang, | have some bad news.

Yes. I'm a weathered women, | can bare it.

Your friend is dead.

Really? When?

This morning.

I'm so ill-fated.

| had another friend who
just died, and now another one.

I'm so ill-fated.

Hey, cry aren't there
tears when you're crying?

You kids don't understand me.

And who can understand me?

|I just cried from funeral
hall to the graveyard.

And all the way back.

|I could have done it in two hours.

Who knew | was so ill-fated.

When | went there, |
ran into five blockages.

And when | came here, | ran into rush hour.

I was crying for five hours.

So I'm all cried out of tears.

I'm so ill-fated.

-I'm so ill-fated.
-Hey now. Don't cry, it sounds terrible.

Your friend wanted me
to deliver this to you.

Take it and stop crying.

It's all my fault. You're so pitiful.

| promised to marry you. I'll be damned.

Your friend is a man.
How can you marry him?

You're not gay.

Can | be wrong again?

I'll be damned. I'll be damned!

Give it back to me!

You have me wrong, it's not my fault.

Is it our fault?!

Hit him!

Go to hell!

| sacrifice myself to protect you.
Could | have been wrong again?

It's my mother's fault, she gave
me that detective when she left.

Those bastards!

Get them!

Run!

Follow them!

Go!

What the hell are you
doing here? Get them!

Those thugs are chasing after us.

Yeah.

What are you all doing?

Are you blind riding a bike?

Hurry up, Bragger!

Just a second!

Just where are you going?
Still running?!

Where's Rocky?

Over there! Those thugs got him!

Fatty, Rocky was just
kidnapped and you're eating?

How can we save him starving?

Judy, don't cry.

You just need to exchange the
diamond for Rocky. Can you?

Don't worry, Rambo will be alright!

What's your name?

Your name!

Simpleton.

I'm asking him, not you.

What are you saying?

A simpleton is a simpleton.

What's your name.

A simpleton is a simpleton.

You're a simpleton, I'm Rocky!

What did you say?

Rocky!

Rocky.

He's called Rocky.

Tell me now.

Where's the diamond?

I don't know.

Keep quiet and nobody
will think you're a dummy.

You want to ask him?
Fine, go ahead.

What do you mean?

Ask him where the diamond is at.

Where is the diamond?

Don't ask me, ask him.

Where is the diamond?

Jeez, ask him!

Where is the diamond?

Like that.

Simpleton, what did he say?

Come on, he said something about it.

Hit!

Tell me why you want to be a thug.

What are you talking about?

Why you want to be a thug!

It was inherited.

No way, how can it be inherited?

-Do you know what a thug is?
-It's delicious.

What's delicious? A thug is a bad person.

But I'm not a bad guy.

-Then what's one plus one?
-Two.

-Then two plus three?
-Six. Easy.

Wrong, it's five.

And one-hundred twenty
plus one-hundred thirty?

I don't know. Can you teach me, please?

Teach you what?

Why does man live?

| can tell you why does a man live short?

He's got to learn everything.

Why does man live long?

He's got to do everything.

Brother.

The last time we fought those kids,
we just got even with them.

I'm afraid we won't win this time.

Don't worry, | got this.

Pao Su.

Why did you call me
this late at night, miss?

Walls have ears, better come inside.

Where is your boss?

I'm the boss, what do you want?

How much for finding the diamond?

A flower on the chest.

You didn't answer my question.

| take it that your Chiang Helen?

Yes, you're correct. I'm Chiang Helen.

| see.

Thank you! Miss, thank you!

You can call me Judy.

This is all your fault! Get out!

It's all your fault! Get out, now!

I can't.

Your parents hired me
to keep watch over you.

I'd rather be yelled at than scolded.

And besides, those
thugs were chasing you.

| should be protecting
you from them, and...

Hello.

Who is this?

Kids.

-Hello, Judy? This is Rocky
-Rocky? Are you alright?

I'm fine, Judy. I'm alright.

I'll try to break out of here now.

-Yes, indeed.
-Yeah, a simpleton is a simpleton.

Escaping? That's impossible.

Now let me ask you this.
give me my diamond,

or I'll sentence him to death and
have him killed. Do you hear me?

Yes, | understand.

Yes, yes. No problem, no problem.

Judy, how's Rocky?!

Judy, is he alright?

He'll be fine, just fine.

You kids, get inside.

Wait...

...how can we with the door closed?

Hey, kids, let's have a
look at that diamond.

Do you think I'm a simpleton?
After you've seen it, what happens to us?

-Dummy, where are you taking us?
-Driving.

I wasn't ask you, idiot.

What's that suppose to mean?

You'll see when we get there.

Please.

Here are the hostages, brother.

Who's the big brother here?

Not on this island.

It's nice to meet you.

Did you bring the diamond?

Why don't you just ask us if we're hungry?

What do you want?

We want a little bit of Brandy and Whiskey.

Aren't you a little too much?

| got a question?

Judy, what does that mean?

Dummy, it means it's too much.

Yeah, you're just too much
so we have to be too much.

It's a shame you don't know the meaning.

I know.

One plus one is two, two
plus three is six. Easy.

Five.

Six.

Why are you laughing?!
Don't you know you'll die?

Where's the diamond?!

We want to see our friend first.

Let go of me!

Judy, Fatty, what are you doing here?

We came to save you!

It's not that simple, but
we can make a deal.

Give me the diamond
and you can have him.

Wait, what if you don't let him go
after we've given you the diamond?

Let him go first, or the deal is off.

You're so young and stubborn.

Just imagine you grown up.

Anyway...

...release him.

Are you alright?

Fatty?

Brother, are you alright?

I am, thank you.

Come here!

Now give me the diamond.

Rocky, go change.

Why are you kids changing for?

Brother, you look cool.

What are you doing?
Where's the diamond?

I'm sorry, | forgot it.

Darn kids.

No, we're the Seven Lucky Kids!

Curse the Seven Lucky Kids!

You can not leave until you
hand over the diamond!

Go!

Yes!

Brother, are you alright?

I'm alright.

Fight him!

-Simpleton,
-Brother.

I'm leaving.

Brother, remember to write to me.

Brother, are you a gentleman?

We were friends since we were young.

Brother, are you driving?

Hey, that one-eyed guy is gone.

Brother, they're looking for you.

You little traitor.

It's not that easy to get away.
The show is yet to come.

Look!

Are they good, bad, or American guys?

Rocky, this is for you.

Hello. Hello.

Who are you?

Who are you?

They don't speak English.

They don't speak English?

Hello, my name is big-head.

You drive trucks, wear shoes, carry bags,

and hold screwdrivers.

I guess they're either stupid or deaf.

Damn foreigners! Damn you!

For what? Go to hell!

Could this be possible?

Try it yourself.

Where are you from?

Argentina.

From Argentina.

Argentina? Damn it!

Why did your ships fire
at our fishing boats?

All you did was fight.

You went too far.

Yeah!

We've got to get even with them!

Go!

You first!

Can you handle my stroke fist?

You too?

Delicious.

That's impossible.

I won! I won!

Rambo.

How embarrassing. I'll take it.

Thanks.

-Hey, that guy is getting away!
-Get him!

Beat them up!

Give me money!

Money... finish them and I'll pay you.

Okay.

Go!

Finish them and I'll pay you!

This guys just wants money like a leech.

This is a chimpanzee.

| often go t the zoo.
| know how to get him.

Damn, this chimpanzee is tough.

Goddamn kids!

The Chinese aren't so
easy to take advantage of.

Children, thank you for helping me.

-My belly, my belly...
-Fatty, what's wrong?

Same old tricks!

I'm just really hungry.

It's on me, what would you like?

Ladies first.

It's all the same to me.

Disgusting!

Brother, what should | do?

Stay here and study.

I've done that already.

One plus one is two, two plus three is...

Six!

You think I'm a dummy?

It's five!

You're smart, simpleton.

I'm your squad leader.

Here, I am called Rocky, but in
the states I am known as Rambo.

I must go now.

I'll visit you guys soon.

Bye-bye.

Is this possible?

The Seven Lucky Kids are the toughest!